Luigi's Mansion: Tomb Service
by Superfloxes
Summary: Luigi's vacation to the luxury hotel, the Last Resort, goes from dreamy to a nightmare as King Boo strikes back! Joined by Daisy and his new 'friend' Gooigi, Luigi is ready to ghostbust one more time! He'll have to deal with ghosts, devious traps, and...! A three-tailed cat? Unrelated to TGN's story. Cover image by me.
1. Hotelling What'll Happen

**Author Notes - I freaking love Luigi's Mansion 3. I adore it.**

**So I decided to write this. And yes, I know that fellow writer TheGameNguyener is already making (a really good) one, but it's not like he has the copyrights to this or something. In fact, seeing that someone had beat me to it almost made me want to quit. Almost. Then I went 'YOLO' and published it anyway... p-people still say 'Yolo', right?**

**And I assure you that mine will be different. ****Mostly by coincidence, since I found out TGN's novelisation after getting this idea. Not that you believe me saying that, but whatever. If TGN is reading this... hi there fellow Luigi's Mansion fan!**

**I want to keep close to the spirit (pun not intended) of the original **_**Mario**_ **series. So, somewhat simplistic dialogue, and no unnecessary swearing except maybe a little from the main villains.**

**Before you ask, there will be plenty of adorably awkward Luaisy, but I want Daisy's role in the story to be more than just 'Luigi's Love Interest'.**

**And I warn ya. I like writing looong.**

**CHAPTER ONE - HOTELLING WHAT'LL HAPPEN**

Imagine a lovely landscape consisting of green hills, healthy trees, and a beautiful mountain scape in the background. A simple dirt road rolls over those green hills. You can hear the birds chirping, just to add to that warm feeling.

Okay, now imagine a bus ruining everything by driving down the aforementioned dirt road completely haphazardly, past a sign for what seems to be a tower.

Perhaps the reason why the bus was driving around so crazily was because the guy driving was a Toad, who could barely even see past the steering wheel. Give him credit, he was really trying.

Aboard this official Royal Mushroom Kingdom Bus, were a couple more Toads of different colours, two princesses, and twin brothers. Most of the luggage was located on shelves above them, but a couple suitcases lay on spare seats.

Mario and Princess Peach were of course sitting right next to each other at the front, chatting among themselves the usual smalltalk, with more 'interesting' topics emerging occasionally.

The two Toads were chilling together right behind them. One was throwing a small ball into the air and catching it again, while the other was reading a book.

Way at the back were Luigi and Princess Daisy. Long since did the two of them grow bored of this incredibly long bus trip and thus fallen fast asleep. Ah, these two were made for each other. Rather adorably, Daisy - who had swapped her dress for more comfortable sportswear this vacation - leaned up again Luigi, while he leaned on the wall of the bus. Neither were in a particularly dignified position.

Got the scene? Nice.

Soff T. the Red Toad, the one at the front, lifted his head over the steering wheel, just to make sure that he was still on the road. Then he noticed that he just passed the sign telling him to go right.

'Ahhhh!' He cried, before he turned that steering wheel all the way to the right.

He made the turn all right, the bus just barely keeping all four wheels on the ground, but just about everything and everyone on board got tossed about. The people, despite all yelping in shock, managed to stay in their spots, while the baggage that rested on the seats fell to the floor.

'Hey, watch where you're driving!' Gus T. the Blue Toad yelled, holding on tight to his toy. 'I wanna get to that hotel in one piece, ya know.'

Soff checked the road once more. Fortunately, it seemed as though the road was pretty straight from here.

'S-Sorry guys!' He stammered. 'I'm not good on roads I've never been to before.'

Mario's attention immediately fell onto the princess by his side. He got through with nothing but a slightly jostled cap, but the last thing he wanted was a hurt loved one.

'Peach, are you okay?' He asked.

Peach giggled as she readjusted her tiara, keeping up her ladylike image. 'Calm down, Mario. I'm okay. If I can survive Bowser, I'm sure I can live through a bad driver.'

Mario sighed in relief. 'I'm just worried.'

'That's alright. I don't blame you either. I'm certain I'll find _some_ way to get kidnapped in a luxury hotel.'

The two share a cute little laugh. It had indeed gotten to the point where Peach made jokes about getting kidnapped now. The little jokes helped calm the stress of the inevitability when it came to the kidnappings.

They were not the only ones shaken up by the poor driving. The moment the bus hit a nasty bump in the road...

'Ahhh!'

'I'M UP! I'm up!'

Luigi and Daisy jolted awake.

Though she flailed about quite wildly, it only took Daisy a few moments to get over her shock and realise what had happened. Luigi, on the other hand, pinned himself into the corner and hung on for dear life.

His eyes darted back and forth. 'Oh. Heh heh...'

Daisy couldn't help but to giggle at our green-clad hero. Blush dotted his cheeks, showcasing right off the bat that perhaps he would not be the best hero for this job. Upon breathing a little, he relaxed back into his seat and yawned.

'Going back to sleep already, huh?' Daisy said with a grin.

'Yep.' He responded, slowly closing his eyes. 'You're not?'

'Nope! We're super close now. I can feel it. I can't possibly get to sleep now!'

To demonstrate her point, she kicked her legs around like a crazed marathon runner. Slamming her foot into the back of the seat in front of her in the process.

'Gah!' She cried out, holding her injured foot.

Luigi didn't quite notice this, as he already had his head down ready to travel back into Dreamland...

'ARF ARF!'

Only to jump again as his beloved new pet, his Polterpup, jumped out of the suitcase on the floor and into his lap. The man freaked out, not because there was a ghost dog but because the ghost dog was in his face, holding a piece of paper in its mouth.

'Hey!' He cried. 'Get down, boy!'

Yes, I realise the sheer irony of a phasmophobic man owning a ghost dog. You'll have ask Luigi himself about this because I have no idea.

Anyway, Polterpup barely complied to his request, and hopped onto Daisy's lap instead. He rolled over onto his back, and panted incessantly as he gave her 'puppy-dog-eyes'.

Luigi pointed a scolding finger at him. 'Down, boy. Down!'

Polterpup whimpered.

'Aw, it's fine!' Daisy said. 'He just wants to cuddle. Doncha boy?' She got her face very close to his and adopted that baby-talk voice. 'Doncha boy? Yes you do. Yes you do!'

Polterpup absolutely soaked that up, kicking his legs into the air while his tail wagged like no tomorrow. With his dog taken care of, Luigi - with great difficulty - yanked that piece of paper out from the doggy's jaws. Turns out that this paper was the entire reason he was on this bus trip to begin with.

It was an invitation, one that he had received in the mail earlier that day.

'_Congratulations, Luigi! You're the lucky winner of a free stay at a world-class hotel, The Last Resort! We look forward to dazzling you with first-rate hospitality and service. Please be sure to invite any friends or family that you'd like to bring, as well!'_

It was signed 'Hellen Gravely'. Huh. Wasn't 'Helen' usually spelt with just one 'L'?

Regardless, he sighed in total bliss, thinking about the wondrous and relaxing time he was sure to have. Granted, the last vacation Mario went on involved him getting arrested for a crime he didn't commit after arriving not even five minutes ago, but what could possibly go wrong this time?

Best not to think that.

His dreamy thoughts got cut off by Polterpup licking him. Getting slobbered out of nowhere was not yet a feeling he had adapted to.

'Ooh, hey!' He said, trying to get him off his face.

The ghost pup returned to laying belly-up on Daisy's lap, whimpering and begging through his eyes for a rub. Of course, Luigi could not deny such an adorable look.

'Who's a good puppy!' He said. 'Who's a good boy?'

He gave the dog a soft but incredibly loving belly rub, to which the pet responded by panting and wagging his tail even harder. Well, it was obvious Luigi wasn't getting anymore sleep any time soon.

But he could deal with it.

'Hey look, Luigi!' Daisy yelled, causing Polterpup to hop off her and scamper away. 'We're almost there.'

Luigi looked out the window at her command, to see that she was indeed correct. That tall golden tower seemed to be getting really close now. In fact, they were nearly at the gates.

The same gates that Soff T almost - actually, scratch the 'almost' part - bumped into as he drove into the hotel's front yard.

As the bus came in for a park, Luigi stared out the window in utter awe. He even placed his hands against the glass, like an excited kid at a candy store that wasn't open yet.

'Ooh... wooow...'

The hotel was, to say the least, grand. It must've been at least fifteen floors tall, and its golden walls glimmered so much, they'd blind Luigi if they were just a bit shinier. It even sparkled in the sunlight!

'Looks like we really hit the jackpot with this one!' Daisy said, hopping to her feet the moment the bus stopped.

Soff T shifted the gear in park, and opened up the bus doors.

'Okay, everybody out!' He yelled with a smile.

Gus T grunted as he stuffed his ball into his pocket somehow. 'It's about time...'

Parr T the Yellow Toad packed his book away into his bag, bopping up and down on his feet. 'Be happy! We've made it!'

Gus T pouted and crossed his arms. 'Yeah, which means we gotta carry the princess's luggage.'

'I know! Isn't it great?'

Mario jumped to his feet, grabbed his red suitcase, and held his hand out for his princess. Though she really didn't need it, she took it and let him lift her off her seat, just as he wanted. As he led her off the bus, she looked back to her Toads.

'Take care of my luggage, please!' She said. 'I've brought only my essentials.'

Considering that she had a whole bus full of pink suitcases for a fairly short vacation, that was obviously a blatant lie.

Gus T, the look of 'I should have stayed in bed today' strong on his face, picked up one of the pink suitcases and hoisted it into his arms.

'Okay, I got one.' He glanced up at his yellow partner. '_You_ can carry the rest. Including mine.'

'YAAAY!' Parr T yelled, shaking his hands.

While the sunny Toad went to gather all those pink suitcases, our favourite couple picked up their own luggage. Daisy only had one, easily identifiable by its orange colouring and flower symbol. Though she had packed it to the brim, she lifted it up quite easily.

Luigi, on the other hand, struggled to lift his own green suitcase even though it wasn't much heavier.

'You need help there, Luigi?' Daisy asked.

'N-Nono, I'm good.'

Thankfully, once he got both his hands on the handle and lifted it into the air, he had a much easier time lugging it around.

By the time the two had gotten out of their seats, they were surprised to find that Parr T had already gathered up all of the princess's remaining luggage, and now carried all of it in one massive pile on his arms.

He wobbled around quite a bit as he attempted to walk forward, nearly tripping a few times to boot, but otherwise he carried them like it was nothing. Good Grambi, just how strong are these mushrooms?

Soff T jumped off the driver's seat just as that pile of pink got close. He raised an eyebrow; his yellow-pigmented friend's dedication never ceased to amaze him. It only got worse when he noticed the blue suitcase right at the top.

'Uh, yellow?' He said, side-stepping out of the way of a wobbly step. 'You okay there?'

'Yeah, I got this!' Parr T replied. 'Want me to carry yours too?'

'N-No, that's fine, you don't-'

Clearly Parr T didn't give a poison mushroom what the red guy said, and - using his foot, rather impressively - flung the spotted-red suitcase right on top.

'Always happy to help!'

Parr T bounced down the steps of the bus, and though the luggage jostled a lot it somehow didn't fall over.

Soff T continued to watch him for a bit before going to leave himself, tripping over his own feet and falling out through the door in the process. He landed on his big cap head, which bounced him back up and onto his rear. It left him rather dazed.

Gus T appeared behind him, giving him one heck of a look from behind the suitcase.

'Really?' He said, raising an eyebrow.

'I-I trip once and you never let me forget it...'

'Trip _once_?'

Soff T got to his feet, and walked away before he could give his blue-capped friend any more ammo to attack him with. Said friend rolled his eyes and followed after him.

Daisy reached the top step, and leapt over the rest like a horse in a jumping competition. She struck the landing with only a little stumbling, and turned back to the steps.

'Com'on Luigi!' She yelled. 'The more time you take, the less time we'll have to relax!'

Then our green-clad hero finally got to the door, heaving his suitcase along as he took his steps down. He inhaled that fresh mountain air, and exhaled mostly in relief from being off that bus.

He could finally relax... until Polterpup came leaping out the door, forcing him to duck and hold onto his cap. The skinny plumber chuckled as his dog sat by his side panting.

'Let's get going!' Daisy said, catching his attention. 'We'll be left behind at this rate.'

She charged off around the corner to join up with the rest of her gang. Luigi, being followed by his loyal ghost dog, dragged his suitcase about as he - much more slowly - went after his wonderful princess.

He walked around the corner of the bus, and was once again left in total awe at the grand hotel in front of him. Looking at it from behind the bus windows was one thing, but actually seeing its sparkly golden glory up close in person? Something else entirely.

'Oh... wowie _zowie_!'

He'd never seen anything like it! And he couldn't be more excited. A luxurious vacation with his brother and princess... granted, he'd probably be asleep for most of it, but he could relax however he wanted.

'Let's go, bro!'

Mario's call managed to get to him through his awed trance. Upon looking back down, he noticed that everyone else except Mario had already gone inside, and Mario himself was going in at that moment.

'Oh, coming bro!'

With his suitcase in his weakening arms, he walked up the gloriously shiny stairs, and through the big golden doors.

'Aw, wow...!'

Somehow, things looked even more impressive on the inside. What a grand lobby! Across the spanning floor, stood the receptionist desk. Above that, pictures of all the guests hung from some rope. Two big staircases that sandwiched the desk led up to the second floor and a grand set of doors.

Mario unsurprisingly stood by all the sweet pastries, ogling at all the delicious-looking desserts laying on the table. He especially had his eye on a slice of cream cake.

He turned to Luigi. 'Oh hey bro!'

In that one moment of distraction, Polterpup leapt onto the table and snatched up that slice for himself. Mario just saw him running off to enjoy his cake in peace.

'Oh! Bad doggy!'

On the second floor, he could see a maid dusting the handrails. Wait, was she... floating? Luigi blinked a couple times, only to see her gone. He stared at that spot for a bit, wondering if he had just been seeing things.

'Good evening sir!'

'Wah!'

Luigi jumped and dropped his suitcase. Looking to his right, he saw who the voice belonged to. The bellhop stood next to him, and Luigi couldn't help but feel unnerved by his... face. The entire face.

Why it was so off, Luigi couldn't quite tell. The eyes and mouth were a little too wide open, he knew that. The expression was just forced enough to kinda look like a mask.

Oh, no matter. If it meant a relaxing vacation then Luigi could deal with some slightly unsettling faces.

'Is this suitcase all your luggage?' The bellhop asked.

'U-Uh, just _my_ luggage or everyone's?'

'Just yours, my green man. It doesn't really matter; I'll help with _all_ your suitcases!'

'Including hers?'

Luigi pointed to Peach's belongings, stacked up by the front desk. While Peach herself was busy marvelling the decor, Parr T tried to keep the pink stack from collapsing as Gus T sat on his blue suitcase reading his book.

The bellhop sighed. 'Yes, that includes hers. We provide only the best service.'

He picked up the green suitcase, groaning and struggling as he hoisted it into his arms. As he walked over to the luggage cart by the elevator, he stepped so smoothly that he almost seemed to be floating.

'Hey Luigi!' Daisy called.

Luigi noticed her by the elevator, waving to him. He obeyed her call immediately, and rushed over to her without hesitation. She stood by a map of the skyscraper, that showcased the theme of every floor.

And it seemed to excite the tomboyish princess.

'Look at this!' She said, pointing at various symbols on the map. 'This hotel has everything! A fitness centre, a dance hall, a movie room, and a... OH!' She gasped.

Luigi flinched. Daisy's smile grew, and grew. All of a sudden, she unleashed a high-pitched squeal of absolute joy, making Luigi flinch again. She did a little dance on the spot to boot. It was blooming adorable.

'W-What did you find?' He asked.

She pointed to floor number seven, the one marked by a flower. According to the legend, it represented the Garden Suites.

'They have a indoor garden! Oh, they must have sooo many beautiful flowers. Can you imagine? Roses, lilies, geraniums, sunflowers, chrysanthemums, buttercups...'

'And Daisies?'

She giggled as he blushed. 'And daisies!'

Oh, her giggling. Everything else about that princess was rough-and-tumble (not to say that's a bad thing), but her excited laughter was anything but. Good Grambi, Luigi loved it.

'Good afternoon, sir!'

'Yah!'

Twice now, one of the hotel staff had snuck up behind him and scared him. It was a different guy from before, as his black hair was not covered by the bellhop's little red hat. Regardless, he still had the freaky eyes and mouth that seemingly only Luigi noticed.

'I do apologise for intruding sir, but it appears that none of you have checked in yet.'

'Oh. I can do that!' Luigi said.

The staff member put his hands together. 'That would be splendid. Feel free to take your time, as our bellhop Steward has not yet begun to pick up the Mushroom Kingdom's princess's luggage yet.'

The bellhop, now named Steward, slumped his shoulders upon loading Mario's stuff onto the cart.

Luigi made his way over to the front desk, passing by Princess Peach as he did so. Her eyes sparkled from the sheer glory of the grand lobby.

'This hotel is so big, Luigi!' She said. 'It's gorgeously decorated too. We're so lucky to have gotten an invitation to come here!'

As he approached the desk, he saw the Toads in the pink pile up close. Parr still struggled to keep it from falling over, keeping a smile on. Gus glanced up at him, and sighed. Soff opted to gulp and back away.

'The princess never forgets to pack anything!' Parr said, before turning around to look at Luigi. 'Hey Lou, what's up?'

Unfortunately, by turning around he was no longer holding onto the suitcases. Thus, the tower that had been stacked up collapsed.

Right by Gus.

The tower didn't crush him beneath it as it fell, but it did spring him up into the air. He landed with his big mushroom head totally stuck amongst the pink rubble.

'AHHH! My head's stuck!' He yelled as he kicked his feet about. 'I can't get out! Parr, I swear, when I get outta here... you won't have a mushroom's chance in soup!'

Parr cried out, and hopped on the pink boxes over to his grumpy friend. He grabbed hold of his legs, but couldn't quite yank him out no matter how hard he pulled.

'I'm so sorry! I'll... I'll make it up to you! I'll buy you anything you want from the shops, no matter how expensive. How does that sound?'

'Great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Just _get my head __**out of here, ya Goomba-brain!**_'

Soff was in no position to help the two of them out; he was too busy laughing to himself, just quietly enough so Gus couldn't hear him.

Luigi, after laughing a bit himself, finally made his way over to the desk. He rung the little bell, and... what was with these staff members and their freaky faces? He didn't want to be judgemental, but why did they all look so unsettling?

'Welcome, green man, to the Last Resort.' The creepy man behind the desk said. 'Will you and your guests be checking in?'

Luigi looked at the guests behind him, silently asking for confirmation.

'I'm ready!' Mario yelled from the other side of the room.

'Good to go.' Daisy said, putting most of her attention on the map.

'Whenever you are.' Peach replied.

'HELP ME OUT HERE!' Gus shouted.

With the confirmation received, Luigi turned back to the man behind the desk.

'Oh yeah!' He said.

The man behind the desk said nothing, and merely nodded.

'Guests! Welcome to the Last Resort!'

Everyone's attention fell to the top of the stairs, where a new person awaited. Well, she certainly didn't have the disturbing faces of the others, or at least her potentially-creepy eyes remained hidden behind dark glasses.

Not to mention that... she was quite the looker. With her smooth face and slim figure, one couldn't care about her absurd blue beehive hairstyle. Most of the guests weren't exactly smitten by her themselves (with the possible exception of Daisy), but that's not the point.

Her long sky-blue dress only accentuated her whole look. Of course, there's more to her beyond her looks, but that part comes later.

'My name is Hellen Gravely, and I am the owner of this hotel. I am absolutely delighted that you decided to accept my invitation.'

So _she_ was the owner of this gorgeous place. Hellen Gravely waltzed down the stairs with nothing but grace, quite the achievement considering that her dress covered her feet. She stopped at the foot of the staircase, looking right at Luigi. Her smile grew as her eyes fell upon him.

'You all must be very tired. Come! Allow me to show you to your rooms.'

Despite her not having the same uncanny face as the others, Luigi still sensed something... off, about her. She had some unnatural vibe emanating from her, and he could've sworn he saw a small glow behind those glasses.

Oh, but he was just being paranoid. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation; no need to ruin it by getting worked up over nothing.

'No need to worry about your luggage.' Hellen continued. 'Our exceptional staff will take care of it for you!'

Steward the Bellhop grabbed one of the pink suitcases and dragged it along the floor. He definitely struggled, but his face didn't show that at all. He chucked it onto the cart, and groaned upon realising just how much work he had to do.

'Hey, uh, Steward...' Luigi said. 'Do you want any h-?'

He got cut off by Hellen getting _very_ close to his face. He leaned backwards slightly, now just a bit uncomfortable.

'Oh, there's no need!' She repeated. 'Though I'm sure Steward appreciates the offer from such a kind-hearted, sweet man.'

Something in her tone changed a little at the end there. It was barely noticeable, but it sounded as if her anger rose for a split second. As if responding to that, she pulled out a little casing, and from that she pulled out a powder puff.

'You're our VIPs, after all!'

She proceeded to powder up her cheeks, while her and Luigi's faces were still mere inches away from the other. The powder scattered into pink clouds, and suddenly Luigi got a very sharp sting in his nose.

'We've prepared a first-rate experience for you.'

While everyone gathered into that one spot, Luigi used every bit of willpower he had to not sneeze directly in Hellen's face. He needed all that willpower, because that powder was so irritating.

And she wouldn't stop powdering.

'All the trappings of luxury! Shall we get going?'

Struggling to even keep his eyes open at this point, he nodded, a little scared to even breathe let alone talk.

'Fantastic!' Hellen finally said. 'Let's get to your rooms at once.'

At last she stopped powdering and moved away. Even with the powder gone the tingling didn't stop, and considering that he had waited too long for this...

'_Ahh... AHH-__**CHOO!**_'

Daisy giggled behind him, making him blush a little. She rolled her eyes; it wasn't _her_ fault his sneezes were so adorably funny.

'Come everyone!' Hellen said. 'We must go to your rooms at once. I'm sure you'll find them perfect and comfortable for even the most eternal of rests.'

Luigi shivered as an uneasy chill ran through his bones. Even as the others followed Hellen to the elevator, he stood still trying to shake off that chilly feeling.

'What's up with you?' Gus demanded, looking at him weird.

The man in green jolted slightly. 'I-I don't know. Something about that lady feels... wrong.'

Gus scoffed. 'Look bud, just cos you're allergic to some woman's make-up, it doesn't mean that she's _wrong_, as you put it.'

'Yeah!' Parr piped up, much to Gus's irritation. 'I think Ms Gravely is really cool!'

Luigi knew that he was overreacting and paranoid, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

'Let's-a get going, Weegee!'

Upon hearing Mario's voice calling out to him, his nerves relaxed. He supposed that, worse case scenario, his big bro would be there to protect him.

Now all together, the newly-arrived guests followed Hellen Gravely into the elevator. No one noticed her smirk as the doors closed. The place was a bit cramped with the eight of them packed in there.

'How much do you wanna bet that this'll end up just like that Isle Delfino vacation?' Daisy joked, leaning up against the mirror. 'I mean, I wasn't there, but it sounded crazy! A magic paintbrush, a talking water gun, an annoying task involving a melon, swimming in a bottle, another King Boo, and-!'

Mario shuddered. Though the slight jerking of his body should not have been noticeable, everyone - except for Hellen - turned to him.

'You okay, bro?' Luigi asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

'Don't... mention King Boo...'

Everyone went silent. Daisy gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth. How could she forget? After being forced into a portrait - twice - by that royal phantom, Mario struggled with just hearing his name.

To an outsider, it was weird. The plumber-in-red dealt with dangerous adventures all the time with a cheery attitude, so to see him scared of anything seemed odd.

To those close to him, especially Luigi, it made complete sense.

'Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Mario!' Daisy cried. 'I totally forget that I'm not supposed to bring up, you know, _him_!'

'Don't worry Daisy, it's alright.' Mario said. 'Let's just have a nice vacation, okay?'

The conversation, to the relief of everyone, could not be continued, due to the elevator reaching its destination - floor five, the 'Rest-In-Peace' suites - and opening up.

Hellen Gravely left the elevator first, and everyone else followed after her. The fifth floor was just as magnificent as the grand lobby, and just as sparkly to boot. The small room led to two hallways - one on the right and another to the left.

'Mario, Luigi, and Peach's rooms are over here.' Hellen said, motioning to the right hallway. 'We've prepared rooms for you Toads as well!' She continued, pointing at the left hallway.

'YAY!' Parr cried in glee as he ran off. 'I bet my room will be the best!'

Gus groaned and followed after him, far more slowly. 'Yeah? And what makes you say that?'

'Because ALL the rooms are the best!'

'You...? You haven't even seen them-!' He sighed. 'Forget it.'

Soff turned to the proverbial 'camera', shrugged and, fearing being left behind, charged after his two friends.

'Ah, those mushrooms are _such_ charming people!' Hellen said, stopping to powder her face again (powder that Luigi hopped away from). 'I do apologise, dear guests. It seems Steward will be a bit late with the luggage. Don't fret. I'm sure he'll get them here soon.'

'Oh, that's okay!' Mario said. 'We can wait.'

Peach frowned. 'Aw, that's unfortunate. I might need my parasol before heading to bed. But I'm sure I can manage.'

Daisy chuckled to herself, wondering what in the Lost Levels her Mushroom-y counterpart could possibly need a parasol for.

'Well, what are we waiting for?' The tomboyish princess said. 'Let's get to our rooms already!'

Couldn't argue with that. The remaining guests followed Hellen's directions and walked down the hallway to the right. Princess Peach's room (No. 4) was the first one.

'Goodnight!' She called to the others as she stepped into her room.

The brothers waved back, Mario in particular stopping for a moment so he could turn to her.

The next room (No. 3) was Mario's, and as he opened the door he already had a good idea as to what he'd order first. Here's a hint: it begins with 'P', and ends in 'izza'.

'Night night!' Luigi said to him, in the cutest voice imaginable.

Mario waved back. 'Night night!'

While on the outside Daisy just smiled a little bit wider, on the inside she was putting her previous dance of happiness to shame. Every time she thought that Luigi couldn't get any cuter...

The last rooms were Luigi's (No. 2) and then Daisy's (No. 1, which Luigi thought was very appropriate). They approached their doors at the same time, and looked at each other before entering.

'You got any plans for tomorrow?' Daisy asked. 'I mean, you know where _I'm_ gonna be, but what about you? Going to the museum? Maybe the dance hall?' The thought of Luigi dancing made her chuckle. 'What about the shops?'

He tapped his fingers on the doorknob, gathering the strength. 'Um... I-I was thinking about going to the indoor garden... w-with you. M-Maybe?'

_Dang it, Luigi!_ He cursed to himself. He could never speak to girls - scratch that, anyone other than Mario - without sounding like someone was about to punch him.

Fortunately for him, his awkwardness was one of the reasons Daisy loved him so much.

She giggled. 'Aw, that would be awesome! You better get a good rest tonight, cos we'll be heading there super early.'

'Okay!'

'Call it a date if you want. Though, judging by your reddening checks I don't think that you do. Anyway, good night Luigi!'

With that, they entered their rooms at the same time. As Luigi stepped into his room - which was the same golden colour as everything else - he didn't quite expect what greeted him.

'Woof!'

'Yah!'

There his Polterpup sat, panting and wagging his tail with cake crumbs around his mouth. Luigi sighed; apparently, even during a calming hotel trip he simply wasn't spared from random jumpscares. Not that he could fault the good boy. The little puppy just sat there, practically begging for some affection. So, Luigi granted it by stroking him on the head.

'Aw, good puppy!'

Polterpup responded by bounding upwards, and licking the heck out of his owner's face. The surprisingly ticklish tongue made him laugh. Continuing to pat the puppy, Luigi looked around his room. It was quite spacious, and included both a desk and a big cupboard to go alongside the comfy-looking bed.

***knock knock knock***

Luigi's attention turned to the door. Now he realised: there weren't any locks to the doors. He didn't have the time to think about this, as the door opened.

Steward the bellhop stood on the other side, holding the green suitcase. With a grunt, he dropped it onto the floor.

'I presume this suitcase - ya know, the green one that shares your emblem - is yours, sir.' He said.

The luggage cart could be seen behind him, still loaded with Peach's stuff. Huh, he got up here already? How long was Luigi playing with his puppy for? He looked out one of the grand windows. Indeed, the sun was setting, and nighttime had already began to spread its blanket over the quiet wilderness.

'Oh, well tha-!'

Upon turned back to Steward though, the creepy bellhop had already disappeared without a trace. That chill in his bones returned. Why couldn't he shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong?

'Relax, Luigi.' He told himself. 'I-It's just a vacation. It'll be okay.'

He repressed a yawn. Seeing how late it was getting, combined with that long bus trip... yep, it was time for a rest.

It appeared that Polterpup read his mind, as the spectral hound was already curled up on one side of the double bed. Luigi lifted up his suitcase, and put on the end of his fairly big bed. Opening it up, it turned out he didn't pack much at all. Just a spare set of (the exact same) clothes, a flashlight, and a book.

Before they left, Mario had questioned why he was packing a flashlight of all things to a hotel vacation. The answer was simple - Luigi feared the dark and was always a little paranoid.

He threw the book onto the bed, by Polterpup, and grabbed the flashlight. Hopping on the bed, he crawled over to his side with the flashlight in hand. After placing it on the bedside table, he settled himself on the bed.

Ooh, the fluffy mattress conformed to his very body as he sunk into it. He fidgeted about, and let every fibre of that mattress and silky blanket welcome him in.

Of course, with all the excitement of his 'date' with Daisy the next day, he couldn't possibly get to sleep on his own. So, taking one last look at his puppy as it drifted off to sleep, he picked up his book, opened it up, began reading it...

_The-_

... before he conked out completely on the spot, his head luckily landing on the pillow as his slip into unconsciousness was so sudden it managed to make the Polterpup jolt awake.

Well, he _was_ the only one who could open up that dream world to save those Pi'illos.

The night settled onto the mountainous landscape, as a smooth feminine voice rang throughout the hallways.

_Now..._

No one (who was alive, anyway) heard this order, due to just how quiet it was. But other voices responded to it. Fourteen voices, to be exact.

_Finally... my stupid job will be over..._

_Yep, just let me finish dusting this first..._

_I hear you loud and clear... over..._

_Zee dinner starts now..._

_What a symphony this will be..._

_Ach, what simple peasants they be..._

_I don't want no whippersnapper in my hotel..._

_Green man must be squished..._

_HOO-WEE, what a showdown..._

_I oh so look forward to this..._

_We can't wait... till that green guy... is on the wall..._

_Are you ready, mates...?_

_Dude, this is totally gonna be gnarly..._

_YO, the DJ is up in this hood dawg...!_

All these voices were far too quiet for any living person to hear. But our sleeping hero certainly did hear one sound.

'**AAAAAHHHHHHH!**'

Luigi woke with a yelp, breathing heavily as the scream snapped him out of a deep sleep. It was distinctly Peach's. He took a moment to look around; maybe he just heard the scream in a dream.

'H-Huh?'

If that was the case though, then why did his room look so... different? The layout was the same, but now fog covered the floor, obscuring most of the flooring beneath it. The bright sparkly gold had disappeared, now replaced by dark and gloomy blues and purples.

Eerie silence filled the room, the air totally dead except for the rain and thunder outside.

Not to mention how dark everything was. Luigi gulped, and began shaking on the spot. How he hated the dark, as it stripped away one of his basic senses in favour of a constant feeling of dread.

Especially thankful for the paranoid packing now, he grabbed his flashlight and turned it on in a moment. He shone its beam through every corner of the room, noticing that even the happy balloons from before now resembled jack-o-lanterns.

'M-M-Mario?'

With no other options available, he hopped off his bed and landed on his feet. His ears perked up at the sound of something rattling, which upon turning around he noticed was the drawer to his bedside table.

Gulping again, he reached his shaky hand over to the drawer, and opened it.

A clawed hand resembling Bowser's sprung at him from the open drawer, setting off some sparks to boot.

'WAAHH!' He fell to the floor in total shock.

'Sprung' being meant literally, as a spring attached the hand to the drawer. It alone convinced him he was in a nightmare.

His ears picked up more rattling, this time from the drawer of the desk on the opposite side of the room. He knew that it would be silly to fall for the same trick twice, but regardless his curiosity demanded he check that drawer.

Shivering like a hairless polar bear as he did so, he paced himself over to that rattling drawer. He stared at it for a few moments, contemplating whether he should open it or not.

Soon, he decided that he should. No doubt it'd drive him crazy until he did. So, he opened it up, and... nothing.

Wait, no. It had dust. A lot of dust. It flew into his face and threw him into a sneezing fit.

As the dust dissipated and gave him a moment to breathe, he couldn't help but notice how his current predicament served to haunt specifically him.

'Luigi! I thought I recognised that yelp.'

He flinched, and turned to the now open door. Daisy stood there (in her day outfit as having to change clothes wasted time) with her hair frazzled.

'D-Daisy? Y-You heard the scream too?' He asked, approaching her slowly.

'You mean Peach's bloodcurdling cry for help? Yeah, you could say I heard it too. I woke up and my room was all dark and weird!'

'Y-Yours too?'

Daisy went on about how relieved she was that Luigi was okay, but he couldn't focus on her for once. After Peach's scream, he noticed a distinct lack of any sort of sound from his older twin brother.

Surely Mario would leap to his princess's defence the moment he heard her scream. If not...

Luigi gasped. 'B-Big bro! H-He could be in danger!'

If it wasn't for the situation, Daisy would've smiled at his adorable concern.

'Well, come on then!' She said. 'Let's go check on his room.'

As Luigi stepped out into the hallway, he noticed that it hadn't changed like his room did. It still had that glorious golden sheen to it... for a grand total of three seconds.

Right before his eyes, a strange purply wave of smoke moved across the floor and walls, and as it travelled all the way down the hall it left behind the same gloomy change that his room had undergone.

Gone were the welcoming shines of the gold and the lovely decorations that covered every square inch. The new hotel - the _real_ hotel - gave Luigi creepy vibes before he even started moving.

'Oh hey. Look. It transforms at night.' Daisy said unenthusiastically, crossing her arms. 'But seriously, this actually looks kinda cool. Makes me wonder why they didn't just begin with this spooky vibe.'

Luigi, saying nothing, turned to her with a rather perturbed look.

'But _seriously_,' She continued. 'Something ain't right here. Let's just hope Mario's okay.'

The same eerie silence filled the hallway, and their quiet footsteps did little to curb it. The walk over to Mario's room was not long at all, but the entire time Luigi couldn't shake off the feeling that someone, somewhere, was watching his every move.

Upon opening the door to room No. 3, Luigi's nerves did not relax. If anything, they just got worse. In spite of the several empty pizza boxes that littered the floor and bed, Mario himself was no way to be seen.

'M-Mario?' Luigi called.

The only response he received was the slight breeze blowing into the room through a small gap in an open window.

'M... Mario...?'

His hands began shaking. He felt a lump in his throat. His pulse increased. He could feel his eyes stinging.

Anything... _anything_ but Mario disappearing. Nothing good ever came from Mario disappearing unexpectedly, whether it was more annoying like dealing with people saying that "you won't find adobe here in Nairobi", or something far more horrid, like... Mario getting trapped in a painting.

Daisy sensed the distress emanating from every part of his body, and carefully placed her hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but accepted the welcoming touch.

'I'm sure Mario's okay.' She said, trying to convince not just him but herself as well. 'He probably just got peckish and swung on down to that restaurant on the second floor.'

He tried to smile with her. 'Y-Yeah. W-We should go find him.'

But the moment they turned around and left the room, they heard the elevator ding. It arrived onto their floor, and opened its doors to reveal a strong purple-white glow that they could see from the hallway.

Luigi shuddered. 'S-Should we investigate that?'

Daisy shrugged. 'What other options do we have?'

So the couple made their way down the rest of the hallway, past Peach's room, and when they left the hallway they saw who awaited them in the elevator.

It definitely wasn't Mario.

'Oh, hey Ms Gravely!' Daisy called. 'Have you seen...? Oh...'

Hellen Gravely indeed stood in the elevator, with a grin and her hands clasped together. However, she no longer wore her heavily-tinted sunglasses, revealing her eyes. They glowed a bright white, almost making up for how empty they were. Her already bizarre purple skin was now translucent, and it glowed slightly.

She looked straight at Luigi, her grin growing to show her teeth.

'Why, yes!' She said. 'I have seen our red-clad 'hero', my rambunctious princess.'

She stood there for a few seconds, putting our heroes in a state of dread, before flying out the doors and floating right in front of our heroes with her arms out wide. Her dress acted as if the wind blew on it.

Luigi jumped back as she approached them so suddenly. Daisy stood her ground.

'In fact, I know exactly where he is!' Hellen yelled. 'He's joined the rest of his friends in eternal bliss.'

The green-clad plumber just stared up at her, lost for words. The small uneasiness she gave him earlier seemed like nothing compared to the off vibes emanating off her now. One thought ran its way through his mind.

_She... she's a ghost..._

Daisy stepped forward, scowling. 'What are you talking about, Hellen? We get it, there's something strange going on here! What have you done with our friends?'

Hellen laughed. 'What makes you assume that I've hurt your friends? I've done nothing of the sort. I've merely given them the most relaxing rest they'll ever have.'

The very inflections of her voice did not sound right. It reminded Luigi of the villainess from that dog movie he watched as a child. The same villainess who scarred him as a child.

Hellen saw the sheer uneasiness on his face, and laughed. 'Is your room not living up to your expectations? Doesn't it just SCREAM good taste? Oh, I can barely contain myself. You have no idea how much I wanted you to accept my invitation!'

'W... why...?' Was all Luigi could say.

Daisy took another step forward, silent but ready to defend her plumber.

Hellen placed her hands over her heart, if she had one. 'Oh, I'm so glad you asked! You see... there is someone I truly adore! He's the inspiration for some of my greatest ideas... like inviting you here!' She laughed again. 'How fortunate that you fell for this trap twice!'

Luigi still couldn't say a word. His instinct told him to run, but neither his brain nor his legs obeyed it. He could only wonder just who she was talking about.

It couldn't be who he was thinking of... right?

'Stop being so cryptic!' Daisy yelled, clenching her fists. 'Who are you talking about?'

Hellen laughed again, but this time it sounded far more sinister than her previous more innocent-sounding laughs.

'I'm such a huge fan of his! That's why it's so wonderful that I get to introduce him to... YOU!' She yelled, pointing at the plumber.

Luigi jumped back with a yelp. 'M-Me?'

'That's right, Luigi! And don't worry, sweet Daisy.' She said, turning her head to the princess. 'You will surely make a beautiful bonus. I hope you're ready!'

With that, she grabbed the ends of her fur coat and stretched it out wide, like a bat about to take flight. She zipped to the side, revealing right behind her...

'Mwah ha ha! Surprise, Luigi!'

'WAAAHHHHH!'

Luigi's heart raced. Had his body cooperated, he would've been running out of there in moments, for now his worst enemy floated above him, staring him down with a toothy grin and those sunken purple eyes.

'It's-a me, King Boo!'

Though he spoke cheerily, a furious tone dripped from his voice. Daisy stepped back just a little, her clenched fists shaking.

'K-K-King Boo...?' Luigi stammered. 'B-But how? I-I thought I...'

The terrified plumber was sure the royal phantom had been dealt with. He saw him go into the Poltergust 5000... didn't he?

'That old coot had me locked up tight in his lab... But guess what? I GOT OUT! The hotel owner here was just dying to meet me, so she busted me out.'

Daisy glanced over to Hellen Gravely. The ghostly woman just stood there, smiling, watching the whole situation play out. Not that Daisy expected her to help or anything.

'Pretty lucky, huh?' King Boo continued, staring into Luigi's soul. 'Anyway, I didn't think you'd actually show up here. I was ready though, just in case. In fact, my vengeance is nearly complete!'

'V-Vengeance?' Luigi echoed, unable to say much more.

'Glad you asked! I'm trapping you and everyone in your little vacation party...in frames!'

Before Luigi had any time to process what he had just heard, King Boo floated back and lifted his arms. Several purple portals that lead to a glowing void opened up in front of him, and from them emerged five paintings.

They were no ordinary paintings.

'Whoa!' Daisy yelled, unable to piece together anything else.

'M-Mario!' Luigi cried.

Everyone who had accompanied them on this vacation stood trapped in those paintings. Princess Peach, Soff T, Gus T, Parr T... Mario. All of them looked absolutely terrified, but Luigi's attention focused solely on his brother.

Even through the dusty tapestry, Luigi could see the horror in his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that, if the portraits didn't entrap their victims in total stillness, Mario would be crying.

'N-No!'

Daisy took it no better. None of the stories told to her by the brothers could've prepared her for it in reality. Even Parr T, who could be set on fire and he'd still find a way to smile, couldn't look any more petrified.

The paintings disappeared back into the purply pocket dimension before either human could do a thing about it.

'Big bro!'

'Awww, there there, Luigi.' King Boo said, chuckling. 'It'll all be over soon. It's time for a family reunion!' He bellowed at his own joke. 'BOO-YA! Mwah ha ha! Take THAT!'

While Luigi stood there shaking like a leaf, Daisy's inner rage reached its boiling point. Who was this guy to trap her friends in these musty paintings? Not caring the slightest about any sort of caution, she glared right at King Boo.

'Hey bud!' She yelled at him, with her fist aimed at his teeth. 'What makes you think you can get away with hurting my friends?'

King Boo dropped the smile and just stared at her quizzically. Though he said nothing, you could practically see him thinking 'um... you really trying this?'.

'If you think that you could just trap my friends in portraits, then you thought wrong!'

The royal phantom was too surprised by her outbursts to do anything or respond. Hellen Gravely, meanwhile, just laughed at her.

'Uh, missy,' King Boo finally said, dropping the harsh tone almost entirely. 'Maybe you don't realise this, but I'm capable of putting you inside a-'

'So I'm gonna teach you a lesson!'

Luigi _knew_ that, despite her best intentions, Daisy was doing nothing but putting herself in massive danger. He knew he had to stop her, before she joined the others, but the horror that King Boo left on him stopped him from doing or saying anything.

Daisy leapt off the ground, yelling out some sort of battle cry as she heroically charged towards the giant boo. King Boo, totally unfazed, shot out some electricity from his crown. It formed another portrait, this one empty, right in front of her path.

For one moment, the sheer fury on her face disappeared. For just a second, the realisation of her fate hit her. For a singular flash, she knew what awaited her.

And she regretted her impulsive decision for however little time she had.

'No!' Luigi cried.

There she was, joined with the others inside the paintings. The split second of fear on her face translated into the fabric perfectly. Using his magic, King Boo spun it around so he could look Daisy in the face.

'Well, I didn't think that _this_ would be part of my collection,' He said, before returning to his trademark grin. 'But I appreciate her last few moments! It's always so much more fun when they try fighting back.'

He didn't even place her portrait alongside the others in the pocket dimension, and simply flung it behind him, letting it crash into a potted plant.

Luigi's breathing turned tense.

'N'aww, don't worry Luigi. There's one more frame, of course. I saved it especially for you! Stay right there and put on your best terrified face, Luigi! This is game over!'

Hellen Gravely laughed alongside him. 'You will make a glorious decoration for our bedroom, sweet Luigi!'

_This is game over..._

Thoughts of the dreaded Underwhere - a place told about in Mushroom Kingdom legends - filled Luigi's mind. Very soon, any thoughts about anything vanished into nothing, and only one thing drifted through his mind.

_RUN._

For the first time in a while, his legs obeyed his instincts. Tripping to begin with, he spun around and charged down the hallway. He had no idea where he'd go, but he saw no alternatives.

'That's right, Luigi!' King Boo shouted. 'Make this fun for me in your last moments!'

Luigi dared not look, but he could hear a bin crumbling to pieces behind him. One quick glance, and he got a mouthful of teeth.

'AHHHH!'

Now he ran even faster. The dark energy that King Boo emanated made the hairs on the back of Luigi's neck stand up. The plumber didn't even notice the doors to the rooms vanishing into thin air.

'Don't struggle too hard! You'll need to look wide awake when you have your picture taken!'

He ran around the luggage cart, still packed to the brim with Peach's suitcases. King Boo cared not for the cart, and knocked it right over.

'Wahhh!'

One of the suitcases on the top slammed into his shoulder and brought him to the floor. He landed on his chest, and his flashlight flew out of his hand.

'Ha ha! There we go, my little Weegee. Hold it right there.'

Luigi gazed back up at the ghostly king. Sweat seeped from his every pore as his heart nearly stopped. The portrait hovered above him. He held his arms up in a failed attempt to defend himself.

'Yes, that's the face! That's the one that shall be immortalised on my wall for all eternity!'

He sat there, on the floor, welcoming his fate as a hanging decoration.

'_You can do it, Luigi_...'

His eyes widened. He had no clue if he just hallucinated that or not, but Mario's voice spoke encouraging words to him.

The mental image of Mario trapped in his painting came back to him.

In the half-a-second he had before the portrait enclosed him, he turned his head around. At the very end of the hall, was the laundry chute.

He gasped; it was a risk, but what other choice did he have?

He leapt to his feet, stumbling as he got back into running and grabbed his flashlight. The painting slammed into the ground, missing him by mere centimetres.

'Oh, got newfound bravery out of nowhere, huh? Don't bother trying, Luigi. It'll only make the pain last longer!'

Though all of Luigi's terrors ate away at his soul, threatening to force him into a panic attack, he brushed them aside just for now so he could get out.

Not for himself, but for the greatest brother in the world.

He focused so much on running, he didn't notice he arrived at the end of the hallway until his forehead bumped into the wall. The laundry chute was right there.

He opened up the hatch and stared down into the darkness. However deep it was, he didn't know nor did he have the time to find out.

_I... I'm gonna die..._

King Boo laughed behind him, catching his attention. He gasped, his face seizing up in fear.

'Go on, Greenie. I _dare_ ya to jump down there!'

The greenclad plumber looked at the chute, then at King Boo, and then back again. Jumping down that long chute had a very high chance of killing him, and he hated heights.

But seeing that portrait closing in on him... He had to weigh his options. The decision-making made him hyperventilate.

_Well... I'm gonna die either way. But with the chute there's a small chance I'll live._

Stuffing his flashlight into the deep pockets of his overalls, he vaulted his body over the steel hatch and hoisted himself inside. The darkness intimated him, but he was too far to turn back now.

'Hey! I didn't think you'd actually try it!'

His legs flailed around, but he soon got them in. Somehow, he managed to turn himself around as he slipped into the metal tunnel. It allowed him to see the light that leaked into the darkness.

The blackness enveloped him as he plummeted to his uncertain demise.

**Author Notes - Text for the invitation taken directly from the game/Mario wiki. Various quotes are also taken directly from the game.**

**With Daisy, I'm trying to avoid the 'Real Women Dont Wear Dresses' implication. 'Oh, she's a tomboy and thus more capable than Peach!' Hence why I had her get kidnapped early on out of her own impulsiveness. As for why she's not wearing a dress, it's merely more practical.**

**Don't worry, Daisy shall return pretty soon. I just wanted the first few chapters to be just Luigi only.**

**The characterisations for the three Toads were made up quite literally when I got to them. I love making it up as I go! I was originally calling them '[Colour] Toad', but that got annoying. So, I named them based on that 'word ending in **_**TY**_' **naming scheme.**

**I wanna keep Mario and Luigi's dialogue simple a la the game itself, as I just don't hear them speaking complicated sentences. I like to imagine it's because they're native Italian/whatever-the-Mushroom-Kingdom-equivalent-is speakers, and thus don't have a perfect grasp on the (hideously complicated) English language.**


	2. Not What I Base-Meant

**Author Notes - If you were expecting some epic fights with the Boss Ghosts... I'm sorry. I'm not very good at high-action scenes.**

**The more puzzle-based bosses (such as Morty, Chambrea, and Johnny) will likely remain the same, while the others may become more 'puzzly' bosses with some references to other Mario games thrown in. I say 'may' because I'm making this up as I go.**

**And, because I hate myself, I've made it a personal challenge to reference as many Mario games as possible. Let's see if I can get all of them, because I doubt it. Play a game if you want!**

**In this context, almost every Mario game prior to LM3 has happened before, with the exception of the Paper Mario series due to M&L: PJ confirming that those games are in a different timeline. Yes, this includes games like Hotel Mario. ****The PM games not being canon in this timeline makes me a little sad since I can't bring up the Mr. L fiasco. Well, directly, at least.**

**Oh, and after that 10,000 word behemoth of the first chapter, any and all chapters will be divided up a bit more. This chapter originally got us all the way to the Steward fight, but I like not having to proofread for a full hour.**

_**UPDATE 14/05/20 - Moved beginning flashback scene to end.**_

**CHAPTER TWO - NOT WHAT I BASEMENT**

'I don't believe it...' King Boo muttered. 'I let that coward get away.'

After our green-clad hero hopped into the laundry chute, King Boo and his new 'partner' Hellen Gravely returned to the highest floor of the hotel. Hellen sat at her desk, watching the security camera footage playing on all the screens that covered the back wall. King Boo paced back and forth, grumbling to himself that he failed such a simple task.

'Every piece fell perfectly into place.' He continued, his scowl growing. 'Except for the most important piece! If it was one of the mushrooms, or the princess, or - heck! - even Mario, that would be fine. But why did _Luigi_ have to be the one to get away?!'

As he ranted, Hellen scanned the security footage. They showed her all seventeen floors of the expansive hotel, everything between her own Master Suite down to the Boilerworks. She could see all seventeen - well, sixteen, since one of them was too focused on his missing megaphone - of her main workers on the look-out.

'I'm certain it will be fine.' Hellen said, her voice just slightly skittish. 'It seems that Luigi is a dirty coward. He shouldn't be a problem!'

He turned her, absolutely furious. 'WHAT ABOUT THE LAST TWO TIMES HE WAS A PROBLEM?!'

Hellen leaned back and blinked a few times. He just stared at her, breathing like a bull ready to charge. She wasn't really scared of him, more so surprised by his sudden turn.

'Don't fret, my sweetie.' She said, smiling. 'I'm sure my staff will take quick care of him.'

His furious expression softened just a little, now merely frustrated. 'They best. If he gets his hands on that blasted vacuum cleaner, your entire plan could collapse at the seams.'

He paid attention to the screens on the wall. Despite of all Hellen's claims of her staff often refusing to cooperate with her plans, they seemed to be following her orders without any hesitation. Then again, that was to be expected, when they had a little more 'convincing' than usual.

'I must applaud _most_ of your plan, Ms Gravely.' He said. 'You certainly had everything under control for a moment. Your staff made quick work of the others. It makes me wonder what went wrong there.'

'My plan seemed to have a... slight error. I intended for Luigi to be your own little personal victory. I expected him to charge right in and fight, like the flowery princess did. I didn't account for him running away, like the dirty coward that he is!'

Her otherwise calm voice spiked in anger as she yelled out those last few words. Noticing this before _it_ happened, she grabbed her make-up and applied it all over her face immediately.

'I trust you, Ms Gravely.' King Boo said. 'I've heard great things about your hotel trap, and all these blue ghosts floating around managed to convince me that you are capable of this task. Do not disappoint me.'

She grinned. 'I can assure you, sweetie. My exceptional staff will take care of him for you.'

She was really trying, King Boo had to tell himself. She was certainly not stopping at busting him out of that ghost container unit. He just had to hope that she wouldn't 'outlive her usefulness', as it were. He glanced at the two portraits leaning up against the wall, Mario's and Peach's.

'What have you done with the others?' He asked. 'Are they well out of the way?'

Hellen chuckled. 'That, I can guarantee won't be a problem. I've left the Toads with three of my best workers. I trust Amadeus, Ug, and Fishook to keep guard of them. As for Princess Daisy, I just left her with Chambrea.'

* * *

The last thing Luigi remembered before blacking out was plummeting downwards into the darkness. He barely had any time to worry about surviving the fall, focusing more on the fate of his brother.

Whether it was the fall or the impact that made him lose consciousness, he would never know.

However how long it was later, he regained consciousness. He only knew this as he could feel something soft beneath him. After a few seconds, he felt something wet on his cheek.

He opened his eyes slowly, and saw Polterpup standing on his chest and licking his face. Had he been any more awake, Luigi would've shrieked. Fortunately for him, the wet kisses helped wake him up.

'Okay, okay!' He said between giggles. 'I'm up now! Down boy, down.'

Polterpup obeyed his owner and hopped off, before scampering off into the darkness.

_The darkness..._

'O-O-Oh... b-boy.'

Now everything came back to him, everything from hearing Peach's scream to running away from his worst enemy. As the darkness stared back at him, his breathing turned tense.

'No... no no no...'

He wiped his eyes and scowled, trying his hardest to seem angry and determined while his terrified eyes gave him away. His eyes refused to adjust to the darkness, but fortunately a couple of lightbulbs still functioned. From what little he could see, he seemed to be in the laundry room. There were a few washing machines - that were still on - up against the wall, and stacks of clothes and rags lay on the short tables.

'M-Mario?' He called into the darkness.

He knew he'd get no response, but part of him prayed that Mario would come dashing out and save him.

As he fumbled around searching for his flashlight, he noticed that he lay in a big basket full of soft clothes. What a miracle; he did not wish to think about what would've happened if his landing weren't so soft.

He found his flashlight right where he left it, and turned it on immediately. By another miracle, it continued to work, and pierced through the otherwise thick-as-bricks darkness that surrounded him.

For a moment, he had no idea what to do, left all alone in a dark and haunted hotel. With only his flashlight to guide him, what could he possibly do now? Then he pictured Mario trapped in that portrait. He focused on the terrified look in those eyes. His heart ached imagining the fear looking back at him.

He took a deep breath. 'O-Okay, Mario. I'm-a coming, big bro.'

Checking his surroundings again, he vaulted himself out of the clothes bin and settled his feet onto the floor. He heard a small splashing sound as he hit the ground, and when he beamed his flashlight down he saw that water covered the floor.

The flashlight illuminated most of the room, revealing a door on the other side. With a lack of any other options, Luigi decided that door was his goal. His footsteps squishing in the water added a quiet sound to a void filled otherwise only by the soft rumbling and ratting of washing machines.

'G-Gotta save big bro...'

He walked around a table, making sure he made as little noise as possible. His nerves stood on end, and he couldn't stop shaking. The air smelled quite musty; it was enough to make his nose burn.

'Wah!'

The stack of rags, with no disturbance at all, fell over onto the floor like someone pushed them. The moment they moved, his nerves tensed as a yelp left his mouth. Even when he realised it was just a bunch of rags, he remained standing straighter than a pencil, and so still that it made the Tanooki statue look fluid.

'C-C-Come on! It's just rags!' He slapped his cheek. 'Get it together, Weegee...'

The only thing that kept him from thinking that he and everyone he knew were doomed was the simple fact that he had dealt with a similar situation, twice before, and proved his capabilities in both adventures.

Even if both times he was perpetually two seconds away from a nervous breakdown.

His nerves relaxed, if only a little, and he continued on his way across the room, passing under a rusty pipe.

A rusty pipe that just leaked steam, right in front of his face.

'AHH! P-Please, stop...' He pleaded to the inanimate objects as if they would listen to him.

'Oh, okay then.' The pipe responded.

Wait, what?!

He glanced back up at the pipe, half confused and half terrified. He could've sworn that pipe just spoke to him.

'Uh... hello?'

It didn't speak again. Oh, good. He'd been by himself for three minutes, and he was already hallucinating. Unless he wasn't hallucinating, in which case he needed to stop thinking about this immediately.

Not taking his eyes off that pipe, he walked towards the only door in the room. Now (mostly) sure that pipe wasn't going to do anything tricky, he turned around to the door.

'ARF ARF!' Polterpup leapt out through the door with an enthusiastic (and _very_ loud) bark.

'YAH!' Luigi yelped for the twentieth time that night. 'R-Really, even you?'

The Polterpup then proceeded to laugh at him, albeit innocently. For a femtosecond Luigi glared at him, before that cutesy look on the dog's face siphoned away any anger he had.

'Okay boy, just don't do it again.' He chose to ignore the fact that he had to say that at least ten times already.

Polterpup nodded, and ducked back through the door. Luigi shook his head with a smile, opened up the door and stepped on through. It opened up to a long hallway, barely lit up by hardly-functioning ceiling lights that hung rather precariously. Polterpup stuck his head out of a bin, covered in old confectionery including two donuts over his eyes. Luigi appreciated the levity.

'Do you have any idea where I should be going?' His asked his loyal pet.

Polterpup nodded, and hopped through the wall behind him. Luigi took his 'word' for it, and walked down the hallway to the door that stood right next to the bin. His footsteps echoed in that long empty hall, which served merely to remind him of just how alone he was.

On the other side of that door was a huge underground carpark, that was far more lit up than the last few rooms. It allowed Luigi to easily see all the suitcases, puddles, and bits of trash that littered the cracking cement floor. All the way on the left behind a fence was the powerbox, which certainly should not have still been functioning with all the sparks flying out of it. To the right were a few abandoned cars parked in the lots.

The mustiness of the two previous rooms got replaced by the feeling of walking into an empty parking lot at night.

He ran across the carpark over to the giant automatic gate. He didn't expect it to work, but it was worth a shot. Upon having the button pressed, the gate began to slowly move up, jerking several times.

***SLAM***

Despite the ensuring yelp, he was not surprised. No way his escape would be _that_ easy, and even if it was he wasn't leaving by himself.

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup's happy barking caught his attention. He saw his _Canis lupus exspiravitis_ running around an old car resembling a Model T. As Luigi ran to catch up with his pet, he couldn't help but wonder... hadn't he seen this exact vehicle before? Unlike the other cars, that had rusted over from a lack of care, this one still shone like the day it was made.

'What did you find, boy?'

The doggy pointed at the hood of the old car, so - due to a lack of any other options - Luigi lifted it up. As his eyes lay upon what awaited him inside, he gasped. His eyes sparkled as he couldn't believe his luck. He'd recognise that red vacuum cleaner anywhere.

'No way. It's... it's the Poltergust! I-I can't believe it. Luigi got lucky!'

For once in his life, King Grambi and Queen Jaydes decided to throw him a golden bone and give him the ticket to save the day, by some miracle.

He didn't know if this was the Poltergust 3000 or 5000 (the 4000 was a go-kart, so it certainly wasn't that), but it didn't look like either. It seemed a little incomplete, considering that this glass container at the back was totally empty. The sensation of slipping the straps of that baby over his shoulders brought him all the way back. If it was a new model, he doubted it'd take him long to get used to it.

He stepped back and allowed Polterpup to marvel him. 'Ta-dah!'

An adorable little victory dance followed, made even cuter by him humming his own little theme song he made up on the spot. He finished it off with a humorous but daring pose, one that showed off the Poltergust for the world to see.

'So? Whaddya think? Does Luigi look cool now?'

Though the Polterpup couldn't speak, the look he gave his owner clearly said 'bud, you will never look cool'. And Luigi was okay with that.

'You go on ahead, boy. I'll catch up!'

Now given an order, the Polterpup did indeed go on ahead... by flying straight upwards and through the ceiling.

'Hey!'

Sometimes Luigi envied his dog's ability to completely ignore the terrain. He glanced down at the Poltergust nozzle in his hand. It certainly felt the same as the 5000. Hoping it functioned the same way, he pressed the same button he'd press to activate the suck function.

I cannot possibly word this in a way that isn't innuendous.

Luckily for him, the Poltergust proceeded to suck in air like a regular vacuum cleaner. He could feel the air travelling down the pipe. Getting the 'blow' function to work went about just as well.

'Oh yeah!'

Before he continued on his spooky adventure now fully armed, there was one more thing he had to check. A fully working suck meant nothing if the ghosts couldn't be stunned. Holding down the third button, the nozzle transformed in the blink of an eye into a flashlight. It appeared to be almost absorbing the light around it as a high-pitched ringing sound emitted from it.

He let go of the button, and...

'Wah!'

He had to cover his eyes from the intense flash given off by that bulb. Well, at least he didn't aim it directly into his eyes this time.

'Woah... did E. Gadd make the Strobulb even brighter this time?'

_E. Gadd..._

'E. Gadd?!'

It only now dawned on him that if the creator's creation lay in this hotel, then its creator must not be too far away.

'O-Oh no... I-I hope E. Gadd's okay...'

He had no time to sit around and wonder about E. Gadd's safety, as every second he spent thinking about it was another second his brother went without saving.

* * *

'And... there!' A blue ghost (known as a Goob) said as she finished painting the last 'X'.

She floated back and admired her work. In the dark lobby, which was now occupied by jack-o-lantern balloons and gargoyle statues, the pictures of their newest guests still hung by a rope.

The Goob smiled at the sight of each face covered up by a big black 'X'. She threw the paintbrush behind her and dusted off her hands.

'What do you think, Charles? Is this _not_ the best paint job you've seen?'

She spoke to the only other ghost in the room, another fellow Goob. He sat on the floor with his head in his hand, and the most unenthused look at his face.

'Congrats, Sam.' He said as monotone as possible. 'Ya painted a bunch of X's. Well done.'

She puffed out her chest. 'Yes, it _is_ well done, isn't it?'

Charles sighed, not at all surprised that she was making a big deal out of a job as simple as that.

'I just don't get it.' He grumbled. 'I mean, we've been working with Hellen since literally the beginning! Why does she keep assigning as such menial jobs?'

'I don't think this is so menial.' Sam said, crossing her arms. 'And anyway, have you seen what she makes the other guys do? We have the easy job here! That, honey, is the power of nepotism.'

Charles, partially ignoring his afterlife-long partner, glanced up at the marked posters.

'Just one thing confuses me.' He said. 'So Ms Gravely herself said that we got the red guy, the fun guys, and the princesses. But the green guy is totally unaccounted for. You sure you should mark him off?'

Sam chuckled. 'Did you _see_ what happened to him? He fell down the laundry chute! That's like, what, five or six floors he dropped down? Honey, he is dead! Problem solved! Unless, of course, that bin at the bottom was full, in which case...'

The smile on her face vanished. Wait, didn't they have a washing delivery just a hour or two ago?

'Awww... fudgicles! That green kid is definitely still alive!'

* * *

Luigi stood in front of the elevator, and pressed the button. To his shock, it actually worked. With a ding, the doors opened up. Immediately, he jumped back as someone stared back at him.

'Wah! ... Oh, that's my reflection...' He blushed, even though no one saw him.

Compared to the musty basement, the elevator contrasted itself with its shiny walls, clean floor, and polished mirror. It was as if the elevator was not affected by the dark transformation. He entered the elevator, turned to the buttons while debating which floor he wanted to go to, and... his question was answered for him.

'Huh? There's... there's only one button?'

Indeed, every button except for one had been removed clean from the wall, leaving sixteen holes where they should've been. And just to add insult to injury, the only button left was the one labelled 'B1'.

As in, the floor he was already on. Which, as you can tell, was just super helpful.

'Um, well... I-I guess that makes my decision easier.' He said, grumbling. 'Dang ghosts, making Luigi's work even harder...'

Well, the elevator was of absolutely no use to him. Luckily for him, he saw another door at the end of the hallway. With his luck, he was betting the darn thing would be locked, but by another small miracle it swung open like a charm.

It opened up to a smaller room, consisting of simple stairs that went up and around to the first floor (ground floor?). That, and a vending machine. Surprisingly, it was the vending machine that caught his attention. Not because he wanted some food - which was _such_ a minor concern right now - but because of that blinking green light right next to where the food would come out.

He peered at the light, getting a feeling of déjà vu looking at it. Something about it reminded him of a previous adventure.

'Oh! Of course! I remember now.'

He switched the Poltergust to flashlight-mode, charged it up and aimed it at the blinking light. Covering his eyes this time, he gave the light a flash. As he expected, it emitted a low beeping sound as it glowed more intensely.

Various slightly-expired foodstuffs such as chip bags and chocolate bars flooded out of the slot. A frosted donut slammed into his leg, not hurting at all but leaving some of its pink icing on his pants. He jumped back in surprise and winced.

Only getting dirtied could distract him from the horror at hand.

He lifted his leg up and gave the frosting a sniff. 'Ugh... definitely expired.'

The sound of Polterpup barking for him from the Grand Lobby reminded him that he had a mission to do.

He headed up the stairs, the Poltergust dragging him down just a little. The cobwebs that dotted the walls and corners made his spine shiver. As he walked up the stairs, he approached the windows.

Rain beat down against the glass. The sound relaxed his nerves, so he stood there for a little while and let the calming sound sink in. It brought him back to the days of when he and his brother were children, sitting by the window watching the rain fall. The two of them would run outside, and while Luigi himself often just got sick, Mario ran around like the adventurous kid he was.

_Mario..._

Right. He had to move on. No amount of calming rain would help him save his brother.

So, he continued walking up the old but still strong stairs, distracted by the top half of the wall of front of him. A golden carving of a mural stared him down, depicting Hellen Gravely surrounded by rays like she was the sun itself.

'Wow... OOF!'

He ran right into something as he approached the corner of the stairs. Backing up a bit, he saw a knocked-over bin resting in his way. He gave it a quick kick.

'Owie!'

Right. So that was a bad idea. He shook his foot about in an attempt to shake off the pain. And with how much that Poltergust dragged him down, climbing over the big bin would be quite difficult.

'Oh no... don't let a bin be my undoing!' He yelled out, just a little overdramatically.

Maybe his trusty Poltergust would help? He certainly hoped so, considering that it was literally the only thing he had on him.

'Uh, maybe I could blow it out of the way?'

Pressing the 'blow' button, he got his weapon to exhale on the bin. It accomplished absolutely nothing, expect for scattering bits of dust into the air. Sniffling from the airborne particles, he somewhat absentmindedly hit both the suck and blow button at once.

'WaaaaAAAAH!'

Oh, whoa! Okay, this is clearly not one of the earlier models. Dang it, why didn't anyone tell me this earlier?

Uh, sorry, you need to know what it did. Much to his shock, surprise, and terror, it launched him a few feet above the floor as air burst from the back of his Poltergust with the force of a speeding train.

His legs flailed about for the second or two he was airborne. It felt as though a ghost had grabbed him and lifted him up, before dropping him back down. He stumbled around for a little bit.

'O-oh my Grambi! The Poltergust can do _that_?!'

Before he could even piece together any thoughts when it came to this device's new capability, the bin that had once blocked his way had been thrown into the air by his newest attack. It slammed into the ground and practically burst into pieces, leaving nothing behind but rubble and dust.

Upon seeing his accomplishment, he smiled wide. 'Oh yeah! I do it! Luigi number... _ah... AH-CHOOO! WAHH-__**CHFFFP!**_'

He had to back up a bit, lest he fall into another sneezing fit. Aiming his Poltergust upwards, he vacuumed up the dust cloud, taking advantage of its more mundane use.

'Yay, allergies...' He muttered. 'I love 'em...'

With the dust cleared and not in his respiratory system, he glanced back at the Poltergust nozzle. If that burst move was something the previous models could do, he never found it. The most likely explanation was that he had a new model on him.

The Poltergust _6000_, perhaps? E. Gadd's naming scheme was rather predictable.

Either way, he needed to know what the _heck_ that bursting thing was about? How did he even do it to begin with? Something about hitting both buttons at once...

With no other leads, he pressed both buttons at the same time, bracing himself for the rush this time.

'Whoa-ho!'

Just as he anticipated, he flew off the ground, scattering rubble and trash with the explosion of air. His landing was a little smoother this time.

'Gotta ask E. Gadd what that was about... i-if I find him.'

* * *

'Where... where did you get this wood from?'

'Don't question me, Charles! Just barge up that dang door!'

Sam lifted up a long wooden board, holding it in place across the grand front door. Charles, with a groan, picked up the drill and began screwing the board to the wall.

'Do we really need to do this?' He asked.

Sam glared at him. 'Yeah, let's just give the green kid a free ticket out of here! Be quiet and start drillin'.'

'I'm already drillin'.'

'Then drill more!'

* * *

Luigi couldn't believe that this dark, solemn room was once the beautiful and golden Grand Lobby. It was like night and day, almost literally. Gloomy blues and purples had replaced those eye-bleedingly bright oranges and yellows. Gargoyle statues and balloons stared at him with glowing eyes.

The whole time while he stepped into the centre of the room, he couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching him with obsessive intent. He looked up...

'Oh s-s-sweet Luvbi...'

... and saw the pictures hanging up with X's covering up all their faces. It was like a murderer marking off their victims.

He turned around, and upon seeing what greeted him at the grand doors, he was so shocked he dropped his flashlight.

'Uh oh...'

Several wooden boards and chains covered the wall, to the point where the doors behind them were hardly visible. Two ghosts drilled into them further, as if they needed anymore security added.

'Hey Charles, you think that's enough?' One of them asked.

'You tell me, Sam. This was _your_ idea.' The other answered, his arms hanging low.

The first one put her chin in her hand. 'You think the green kid had any way of getting through this?'

While these two Goobs had a conversation, Polterpup arrived into the scene dragging his butt across the floor. A dignified entrance, I'm sure.

'Honey, this has been impenetrable since we started. I'm sure it's enough.'

'Hm... yep, I think we're done here.'

'Oh thank Jaydes...'

Sam spun her drill around like she was a smug cowboy with a gun, before causally tossing it over her shoulder. It knocked off the head of one of the statues as it came in for a landing. Charles, instead, simply dropped his to the floor.

'Right.' He said. 'Let's get out of here.'

'Couldn't agree with ya m...'

Sam interrupted herself when her empty eyes fell upon the ghostly dog rubbing his rear on the otherwise clean floor.

She squealed. 'AWWW! Charles, look! Look at the widdle puppy...!'

The 'widdle puppy' glanced at them, and wandered off.

Charles floated up to her, giving her the dreaded Look. 'Yes. He's cute. Not as much as you. But still.'

As they drifted away, Luigi stood perfectly still in silence. He prayed that maybe - just maybe - if he didn't draw attention to himself, those ghosts would leave and he'd be safe for now. And watching them float off, he almost sighed in relief.

'BOOOO!' Sam yelled as she suddenly got into his face.

'YAAHHH!' He screamed as his body turned stiff.

Sam just fell into a fit of laughter, one so hard that tears came to her eyes. Luigi wanted to grab his Strobulb and flash her in the eyes, but his petrified body didn't move, aside from his shaking fists. It was as if he had been trapped in a video game cutscene.

She wiped her eyes. 'Oh man... that never gets old!' She turned to her partner. 'Lookie here, honey. The green kid practically gave himself to us. Let's bring him to Ms Gravely and reap the rewards!'

Charles did not celebrate. He peered at our green-clad hero, looking him up and down. Then, he gasped.

'He's got the Poltergust! Sam, we gotta get out of here at once!'

Sam stopped laughing, and yelped. Even as Luigi tried to grab the Poltergust nozzle only to fumble around, she flailed her arms about and fled into the air. She flew around like an out-of-control RC airplane, before she finally disappeared into the ceiling.

Charles sighed, and whistled to seemingly nowhere. 'We found the green guy! We need back-up!'

By the time Luigi finally got a grasp on his weapon, Charles followed his partner through the ceiling. The plumber sighed and wiped his sweaty brow... only for tall gates swirling with purple energy to emerge from thin air and slam into the floor, blocking off him off from going anywhere but the main room.

'Oh no... o-okay, how do I do this again?'

Another blue ghost, seemingly unrelated from the two Goobs from before, popped up through the floor. The moment he saw the timid man, he chuckled.

'_This_ is the chump you were worried about? Alright then.'

The Goob approached him slowly, almost certainly intentionally just to mess with the apparently weak man. Luigi's mind went blank. He knocked on his head with his free hand, trying to get the gears in his mind turning.

_Get it together, Weegee! You know how to bust ghosts. Uh, it, uh... Strobulb!_

Now back on track, he grabbed his flashlight and began charging it. The Goob pranced over to him, moving as daintily as possible.

'Oh look at me guys! I might get punched lightly by the big scary man.'

Two other Goobs watched him from the balcony at the top of the stairs. One stared at him dumbfounded, whereas the other had his head deep in his palm.

'George is doing something dumb again.' The staring one said, her mouth wide open. 'Should we-?'

The facepalming one waved his other hand around. 'No, no. It's unnatural selection.'

The cocky Goob stood in front of Luigi, and slowly - very, _very_ slowly - raised his hands to attack. Luigi smirked a little as he raised his flashlight up.

'Oh no, the big scary man might beam me to double d- AH!'

Luigi unleashed the fully-charged flash right into the ghost's eyes, covering his own for a moment. The Goob stood still with a look of shock on his face.

'Ah-ha! G-Gotcha!' It came out more skittish that he wanted.

Before the Goob could get over the sudden light, Luigi activated the 'suck' mode and got the ghost's tail caught in the Poltergust's nozzle. The whole move happened so smoothly, you'd think ghostbusting was his profession.

The Goob quickly realised his tail was suck in the weaponised vacuum. 'GAH! Hey, get your thingy off me!'

He flew around the room quite wildly, dragging Luigi along. The plumber refused to let his grasp go, even as his shoes scrapped against the ground. He could feel the grip on the ghost fading.

_Now I gotta... pull in the opposite direction!_

He dug his heels in, trying to get a grip on the floor. Holding on tight, he pulled the nozzle up. It took some strength to fight against the struggling phantom, but the vibrations travelling through the pipe grew much stronger.

It reminded Luigi of just how satisfying busting ghosts could be.

In a bout of adrenaline, he lifted his weapon up far higher than he intended to, throwing the ghost over his shoulder and slamming it into the ground.

'Whoa!' He exclaimed.

The Goob twitched. '_Owww_...'

Luigi blinked a few times. Was that a random display of strength, or a new feature of this Poltergust? Considering his muscles, likely the latter. For the first time in a while, he grinned, making a mischievous face you would never expect him to make.

'Oh yeah! Take _this_!'

He spun around, flung that ghost over his shoulder and slammed him into the ground again.

'O-Okay, I underestimated you. Please stop!'

Unfortunately for him, Luigi beat him against the floor again. And again. And again. Upon this final slam, the Goob finally gave up, and disappeared into his Poltergust.

Luigi smiled wide. 'Yeah! Luigi did it!'

The female Goob's jaw hit its limit for how far it could fall. 'Sweet Jaydes! I knew that vacuum was strong, but that green guy has more power than he lets on.'

The male Goob scowled. 'Let's get him before he causes more trouble!'

Luigi had heard the both of them, and lost his smile. The other two Goobs vanished into thin air, and his spine shivered.

'Oh no...'

He looked around, shining his flashlight everywhere. He could've sworn he had once used something to make invisible objects visible.

_The dark-light device! ... isn't a part of this model._

There was another button, but pressing it accomplished nothing. The hairs on his body drifted subtly from the slight gusts of wind the ghosts picked up.

'_Grrr...!_'

He flinched. His eyes immediately darted to the source of the sound, meeting his Polterpup growling at nothing. The doggy barked aggressively, his eyes narrowed.

'Boy? What are you-?'

A lightbulb went off, quite literally. He Strobulbed exactly where his pet was barking, and the flash materialised the female Goob.

'GAH!' She yelled. 'You TRAITOR!'

Polterpup huffed, as if to say 'I would _never_ betray my owner'. Luigi took advantage of the Goob's stunned state, and quickly got her into the Poltergust. No matter how much she flew around, Luigi didn't let go.

'I could use a little help here!' She cried, feeling her essence drain into her new prison.

'Stop moving so I can get a grip on the guy!' The other Goob said, from wherever he was.

'Oh yeah. _That's_ a good idea!'

Despite being dragged around in a circle, Luigi noticed his dog standing still as a statue, his tail out straight and his nose pointing ahead.

'Hey!' The male Goob said. 'Don't give away a fellow ghost like that.'

Once Luigi was sure he had the captive ghost in prime slamming position, he swung her above his head in the direction of where Polterpup pointed. The female Goob didn't get whacked against the floor, but instead her friend who lay down, crushed beneath her.

'Oof...'

'Oh... oh that hurts...'

Because, as we all know, Ghost is super-effective against Ghost.

Luigi's mind couldn't quite catch up, and on purely instinct he smashed the two ghosts together several more times. His bashing was unrelenting, focusing only on making sure these ghosts were gone.

The female Goob disappeared into the Poltergust, and the one who had been thoroughly mashed was sucked it like he was nothing more than a small dust cloud.

Luigi stood still in waiting, his eyes darting around for anything glowing blue. After a couple of seconds, the supernatural gates lifted and disappeared, and silence fell upon the lobby once again.

'Phew...' He muttered, wiping his brow with his sleeve. 'Oh yeah! Luigi's still got it!'

With how terrified the very thought of ghosts made him, he sometimes forgot how satisfying it was to capture them.

'Woof woof!'

He turned his attention to the balcony on the second floor, where Polterpup stood like a proud lion.

'Oh. C-Coming, boy!'

Luigi chased his pet up the stairs, and once he arrived at the top he stood on the balcony. He had to admit, even the creepy hotel still looked pretty impressive. Surely a hotel that was like this all the time could have a really good niche going for it.

He turned back around to the grand set of doors behind him. Polterpup jumped on through, so Luigi followed him. His hand shook as he placed it on the door handle, and he stared at the closed doors for a little while.

What awaited him on the other side?

Ignoring that thought, he gulped and pushed the door open. A big ballroom waited for him on the other side, and aside from the chairs and tables stacked on the sides it was totally empty.

Luigi's attention couldn't focus on anything else but what lay at the end of the ballroom.

'E-E. Gadd?!'

There was no doubt about it; that was the professor.

Trapped in a portrait of his own.

**Author Notes - Did I mention that I love the detail that, when you get the Poltergust and Dark-Light Device in the game, Luigi clearly already knows what they are? It's just a small thing, but I love it.**

**To those wondering what that beginning flashback was about, it's a reference to not only Super Mario World (and the Mama Luigi meme), but the edutainment anime **_**Mario to Yoshi no Bōken Land**_**, more specifically one of the scenes near the end. ****Despite its edutainment nature, you should totally see it if you haven't already. The scene I referenced alone makes it worth checking out. It's only in Japanese, but the YouTube versions have subtitles.**

**Charles and Sam were another addition that just kinda happened. I plan for them to be reoccurring. I seem to really like oddball couples. What can I say? Opposites attract. And they're named after Charles Martinet and Samantha Kelly cos why not?**

* * *

_The day that Luigi met Yoshi would forever be burnt into his mind. Not because of the Yoshis themselves, though they did make one heck of an impression that he would never forget. Not even because Yoshi thought that Luigi was his mother, and still teased him by calling him 'Mama Luigi' to this day._

_No, it was because of something else entirely. _

_Him and his brother had rescued a ton of Yoshis from one of the Koopalings' castle, and all the Yoshis honoured and celebrated Mario. It left poor Luigi out._

'_Hmph! Why is he taking all the credit?' He muttered to himself. 'I helped out just as much as he did.'_

_Granted, all that attention would've made him even more shy and awkward, but that wasn't the point. T__hen came the part to blow the castle up. When Mario pressed the trigger however, nothing happened._

'_Hey Luigi!' He called. 'Can you go take a look?'_

'_Aww, why do I have to do everything around here?!'_

_But when Luigi approached the castle, it blew up right in his face. It didn't hurt much, but certainly left him dishevelled. __Then everyone laughed. Even Mario. That's how it always was; Luigi did something silly, and everyone laughed. Normally he took it well, but this time was different._

_Luigi wasn't sure what had changed. Perhaps it was Mario soaking up all the glory earlier, or maybe it had been building for years now. Either way, Luigi snapped._

'_I've had enough of everyone always laughing at me! That's it! I... I __**hate**_ _you, bro!' He shouted as he ran away crying._

_He heard his brother say one last thing before he left to continue his adventure._

'_What's gotten into him? Who cares about Luigi anyway? Yoshi, we're leaving!'_

_Even at the time, Luigi couldn't believe the words that came out his own mouth. He didn't really hate his brother... did he? Still, it took a stern talking-to from Red Yoshi to convince him to save his currently-captured brother._

_Though the two made up and had long since forgiven each other, Luigi wasn't yet sure if he had forgiven himself. Sure, he believed that he was justified in getting angry, but outright saying that he hated his brother?_

_And what if Red Yoshi hadn't talked him into saving Mario? Would Mario still be captured, or possibly even dead?_

_And the last Luigi would've said to him was 'I hate you'._

_To this day it continued to haunt him in the back of his mind._

'_I... I **hate** you, bro!'_

_So, whether he realised it or not, he subconsciously did everything in his power to make sure he made up for it every day._


	3. The Bare Basements

**Author Notes - I don't usually 'talk' to my readers in this way because I find social interactions awkward even in one-sided text, but, um... thanks to Clove357, Coolkidwriter97, Draco Mercer, Majestic Yo-kai Fauntleroy, Pikminfan, and jane grove for the favourites! And addition thanks to JFiniti Productions, Marioman101, MonalisaRomano17, and Typhilda for the follows! I thought I'd do this because I think it's awesome to see my name in someone else's work, and I figured you guys might appreciate the honour too.**

**You know how I said I'd be dividing up the chapters a bit more than originally intended, while Chap 2 was still pretty long? ****This chapter and the last were supposed to be the same one, in a 12,000 word beast that mentioned our plumber's name nearly 150 times.**

_**UPDATE 14/05/20 - Moved beginning flashback scene to end.**_

**CHAPTER THREE - THE BARE BASEMENTS**

Luigi had so many questions in such little time. Why was the professor here? How did he get captured? How long was he here for? Without even realising it, he ran across the entire ballroom until he reached the professor on display. Polterpup looked up at the painting and whimpered.

'Oh no... no, no! How could this have happened to _you_?'

He would've been far more distressed at the sight had he not known that being trapped in a portrait was not permanent.

'I-I gotta find the Dark-Light Device! I-It's gotta be around here somewhere.'

_'Hey Olivia, what did Ms Gravely tell us to do with this thing, again?'_

_'I dunno. Hide it or something. I doubt it's important.'_

Luigi flinched, and just barely fought the urge to yelp. Those voices were new, and certainly didn't belong to anyone good. He turned to his left, where he heard the sounds, and saw a door. With a gulp, he approached it.

His hand shaking like never before, he reached for the door and pushed it open ever so slightly. He peeped through the tiny gap, and gasped.

Two more ghosts floated in the hallway, except these were not quite like the Goobs. They were long and skinny, and had yellow translucent skin instead of blue. The male of the two - Owen - held the Dark-Light Device in his hand, while the female - Olivia - peered at it.

'What does this thing do, anyway?' Owen asked. 'It's just a lightbulb! Why was that old guy even holding it?'

Olivia shrugged. 'Heck if I know! I think Ms Gravely was overreacting.'

'I'll just put it in a safe or something.'

Luigi's eyes widened upon seeing the all-important device in their grasp.

'No!' He yelled out, and no sooner than he did he regretted it.

The Oozers snapped their heads to him, and gasped at once. Owen held the bulb close to his chest.

'It's Green Cap, and his cursed contraption!' Olivia yelled, before turning to Owen. 'Hide that dang thing, and get outta here!'

Giving no more instructions or any reassurance, she disappeared through the wall, leaving her partner to stare with his mouth agape.

'Don't leave me alone with Green Cap!'

He glared at 'Green Cap', and flew down the hallway. Befitting his slim physique he zoomed around the corner, still holding the Dark-Light Device. Polterpup stood by his owner's side, growling with slightly-expired donut frosting on his lips.

'C-Calm down, boy. We'll get that device back.'

Polterpup charged down across the carpet, barking much more violently than usual. Luigi sighed, and chased after him.

'D-Don't leave me, boy. I need you to find ghosts...'

He followed his pet around the corner, and witnessed him jumping through a metallic door at the end. The moon shined down on him through the windows as he ran up to the door.

It opened up to a storage room, with chairs and boxes covered by old dusty tarps, and shelves stacked with various knick-knacks. Luigi wrinkled his nose as the musty odour returned. On the bright side, the Oozer was nowhere to be seen.

'Arf!'

Polterpup sat by a safe embedded in the wall, his nose pointing straight up at it. Luigi approached him, eye on the safe.

'That's where the ghost hid the device?'

'Arf arf!' Polterpup replied with a nod.

The safe had nothing to twist to input a combination, but it did have a bright green light that flashed slowly. Luigi smirked; this puzzle didn't take a genius to figure out. Which was really good for _him_.

'Hey!' He yelled, presumably at me.

He charged up his Strobulb, and beamed that flashing light. It reacted just like the light on the vending machine. The sound of gears turning could be heard from inside the safe, until it swung open like something wanted to break out.

For the most part, it was empty. That was with one exception, that being the one thing that Luigi wanted to see the most.

'There it is!'

He picked up the device, and shifted his Poltergust into Dark-Light Mode. His flashlight disappeared into the machine in favour of an unfinished stump. He screwed in the gadget, and it fit like a glove, as luckily the installation was so simple anyone could do it.

With a press of the Strobulb button, the light emitted a rainbow beam that swirled around like food colouring in milk, or like oil on water. Either way, it looked surprisingly beautiful for a fancy lightbulb.

'Arf?'

Polterpup stepped into the light. His usually translucent skin became more opaque under it. He yelped in shock as a tingly feeling overtook him.

'Oh, you don't remember this, do you? I'll show you what it does! But we gotta get back to E. Gadd.'

So he left that dusty storage with his ghost doggy in tow... and yelped upon seeing a couple more Goobs right next to him in the hallway. One of the ghosts stuck some posters on the wall, while the other struggled to carry a whole pile of them. Wanted posters at that. They had a mugshot of Luigi, with a fair reward for his head, literally or not.

'You know what kinda sucks?' The Goob carrying the posters said, his arms shaking. 'We gotta present the dude alive. Why can't we make it easy and just kill him?'

Luigi gulped. _Now I know they're looking for me._

The other Goob looked at his friend, rolling his eyes while pinning up another poster. 'Ms Gravely's orders. She wants that man alive. Speaking of which...'

He turned to the aforementioned green dude, glancing at him and then back at the poster. This process was repeated a few times until he got it.

'Yep. That's him.' He said, calmly. 'Aight Greg, let's grab him and impre-'

'RUN AWAY!' The first Goob screamed, sending the posters flying everywhere as he flew out of the room.

The other Goob grunted. 'Ya wimp.'

Some of these ghosts were apparently spiders, following the 'more scared of you than you are of it' mentality. Others threw that mentality out the window.

He turned to Luigi with his arms slumping. 'Look bud, if I want the money I gotta bring you to the boss. You okay with that?'

'Uh... n-no?'

'You hesitated. That means yes. Get over here.'

The Goob's translucent skin disappeared into thin air bit by bit until nothing left of him could be seen. Polterpup bowed down and growled with his teeth bared.

'Huh. The ghost _dog_ is the disloyal one. How's that for irony?'

Luigi switched the nozzle over to the Dark-Light, and the Poltergust followed his directions in less than a second. He aimed his flashlight right where Polterpup was growling, and shined his rainbow light.

Slowly, the glowing blue skin of the Goob returned. He looked down at his body and gasped.

'Okay, now you're cheating. How does that even-?'

Luigi cut him off with a Strobulb flash.

'Uh... can we think about this?'

A few quick slams into the floor that he couldn't pass through for some reason later, the Goob vanished into the Poltergust like he wasn't even there to begin with. Luigi couldn't help but think that this new 'slamming' move was a little bit too powerful. Of course, he wasn't exactly going to complain about his job being made a little easier, now was he?

He peered at the wanted posters tacked on the wall. The ghosts made it very clear how desperately they wanted his head, considering that they had at least twenty plastered on that one wall alone.

Shining his light on just one of the posters was difficult, what with how much his hand was shaking.

'L-L-Let's just save the professor.'

He returned to E. Gadd's portrait, half expecting it to have disappeared or something. Thank those in the Overthere that it hadn't. Polterpup watched with anticipation.

'You wanna see what this can do? Watch this!'

He enveloped the portrait with the rainbow light of his newly-recovered doohickey, and the swirly pattern of the painting came to life and moved around. More importantly though, the professor emerged from the portrait.

'Arf?'

'Yeah! It can do that.'

Upon being fully separated from his tapestry prison, E. Gadd immediately fell flat on his face. Polterpup yelped, and jumped back. Luigi flinched, and hoped the guy didn't break all of his presumably fragile bones. The fears were put to rest (hehe) when E. Gadd dusted himself off and stood up.

'Ooh, I never thought I'd be on _this_ side of the portrait-ification process...' He muttered as everything came back to him. 'No wonder King Boo was so keen on-'

His bespectacled eyes met Luigi, and lit up visibly behind them.

'Professor, I-' Luigi tried to explain before getting cut off.

'Ah! If it isn't Luigi! And that mischievous spectral puppy too. You are precisely the last person I'd expect to find here.'

He wasn't quite sure how to interpret that comment, but he assumed it was an insult. It usually was.

'Professor, we-'

'Hold that thought! Now isn't the time to catch up.'

Luigi grumbled. At least he was so used to being interrupted that it was just a minor annoyance now. With how quick to the draw the professor was, he wondered if those trapped in the portraits were actually conscious the whole time.

AAAND time to stop thinking about that.

'What matters is...you'll do nicely! Come on, Luigi. Get me out of here now! The hotel is filled to the brim with ghosts! Let's make a run for it!'

_Make a...? Wait, no!_

E. Gadd tried to make a run for it, and though Luigi couldn't blame him at all this was the one situation in which one ignores that advice. Before E. Gadd could get far at all, Luigi grabbed his arm. He didn't pull him in too hard; he didn't want to hurt him.

E. Gadd looked back at him, perturbed. 'What're doing sonny? We must get out of this hotel, posthaste!'

'N-N-No! M-M-Mario! The princess. T-The other princess. The T-Toads!' He stammered, realising how silly he sounded only after he spoke.

Polterpup, hardly understanding the guy himself, nodded in an attempt to put his owner on a higher pedestal. E. Gadd, trying to make sense of that nonsense, peered at the sonny's face. That was definitely distress in those big blue eyes of his.

'What was that? All of your friends have been captured?! And you can't just abandon them here, you say?'

Luigi nodded. E. Gadd promptly hung his head all the way back and sighed, his arms hanging down.

'You're the same as ever, I see. A bit of a handful...'

He said that so casually, to the point where it took an already questionable response and made it a thousand times worse. Polterpup lowered his head and did his best job at facepalming.

The plumber blinked at him. 'You... you serious?'

'OK. I'm not thrilled about it,' E. Gadd continued like Luigi had said nothing. 'But I, Professor Elvin Gadd, have an idea! First things first, Luigi. We have to get to my car! Will you take me there?'

Ah. He knew that old car seemed familiar. What was with the professor and storing the Poltergust in the trunk of his car? E. Gadd peered around his back, and saw the device hooked up onto him. It made him grin, seeing his ingenious inventions at work.

'Hey. The new Poltergust G-00 you're wearing... You took that out of my car, right?'

_Poltergust G-00? _Maybe the professor's naming scheme wasn't so predictable after all.

'We've got to get back to the underground garage. Let's go!'

Once again, he had been freed for a grand total of two minutes, and already he was kicking his green-clad assistant into something else. It was that kind of go-getter attitude that Luigi wanted to have. E. Gadd ran towards the doors to the lobby, in a way that was best accentuated with some sort of cartoony running sound. Luigi watched him, confused, while staying his spot.

'Uh, but I've already got the Poltergust.' Luigi said. 'Why do we have to-?'

'Hurry up, sonny! The more time you waste the longer it'll take to get my ghost collection back.'

This professor has absolutely stellar priorities, I have to say.

Luigi rolled his eyes. 'Come on boy...' He said as he went after him, his pet following close behind.

Once through the door, E. Gadd ran to the elevator. Turns out, the second storey had another place to board it, at around the same place Luigi saw that maid. On the way there, Luigi noticed another door. Even if E. Gadd would let him, he couldn't get to that door through all the cleaning stuff put in front of it.

'Chop-chop, sonny!'

Luigi then realised that E. Gadd had already reached the elevator while he was just staring at a door he couldn't access.

'Oh. C-Coming, professor!'

E. Gadd pressed the button the moment his assistant arrived, and said assistant rubbed his hands nervously as the elevator began approaching them.

'Um, professor, t-there's a small problem with this elevator...'

'Oh, don't fret.' E. Gadd said. 'I'm sure there isn't a fire.'

'N-No, there's-'

_*DING*_

The elevator arrived, and opened up. E. Gadd ran in without delay, and Luigi followed him in with tons of delay. Polterpup chose to jump through the walls to get in instead.

'S-See,' Luigi said as he entered. 'The buttons are-'

'Of all the... someone has removed all the other elevator buttons!'

The plumber sighed. _That's what I was trying to... never mind_. At least the basement button had some actual use now. E. Gadd peered into the lowest hole, looking for anything that he could tap into it to get things moving without the buttons. There was nothing in there. You'd think there would be something inside for them to press to get the elevator moving anyway, but it seemed like the buttons had all the power. Only in a haunted hotel would that work at all.

'What's going on here?'

'Um, m-maybe a ghost-'

'Hmm... A mystery for later, I suppose.'

Luigi whimpered in frustration, just quietly enough that no one could hear him. Sometimes he wondered if the problem was more on him than other people.

'It didn't seem like any of your friends were trapped on the second floor with me. They must have been taken to one of the floors higher up in the hotel.'

_I assume Mario's on floor fifteen, only because of course he would be._

'Which means... yeah, we're going to need those elevator buttons.'

'There... aren't any stairs?' Luigi asked, finally getting his voice into this two-person conversation.

E. Gadd chuckled. 'Like anyone would want to walk up all those steps! Oh ho, I never tire of your silly little ideas.'

Well, I guess that would be a 'no' then. No stairs, at all? He whimpered again, this time far more audibly.

'Oh, don't be like that, sonny. Go ahead and give the B1 button a push.'

Luigi didn't have the energy to wonder why E. Gadd couldn't have just done it himself, and did as he was told. While the elevator travelled downwards, he took this moment to ponder.

_Come on professor, I just wanna save my friends! I didn't find anyone in the basement... how's this gonna help?_

Though he was still annoyed about having to find the buttons, he relaxed and paced around aimlessly. He took great solace in the fact that the elevator would give him plenty of time to unwind in-between the levels of his personal hell.

He felt something moving against his leg. Polterpup licked his overall leggings gently, whimpering quietly. Luigi gave him a small smile, knelt down, and stroked him.

'I'll be fine, boy. I promise. I've got you here with me.'

Though Luigi didn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth, Polterpup seemed pretty convinced. He yipped and wagged his adorable little tail, and gave his owner a quick kiss on the cheek.

* * *

The elevator arrived at its destination far sooner than he would've hoped. The doors opened up to the basement, and compared to the well-lit mezzanine the place seemed even darker now. The musty air felt worse after the clear air of the upper floors.

'Hurry, sonny!'

Luigi stepped out of the box like he was stepping in-between spikes, darting both his eyes and his flashlight all over the place. No way in the endless ocean of the Minus World was he letting his guard now. Polterpup stood by his side, snarling at every single air particle, just in case something leapt out at his best friend.

'Why do you worry so much, Luigi?' E. Gadd rhetorically asked. 'Hundreds of aggressive and dangerous ghosts are no match for the trusty Poltergust G-00.'

Luigi gulped. _Thanks for the reassurance..._

Fortunately, the place hadn't changed much at all. Aside from that bin being an extra half-an-inch to the right, but he was _pretty_ sure he was just seeing things. Thinking about it, he was actually kind of glad to be following someone around. It gave him a break before he inevitably had to venture out on his own again.

He glanced down at Polterpup. The dog marched along with his head all high and mighty. It almost brought tears to Luigi's eyes; what did he do to deserve such a friendly and loyal friend?!

_No Luigi... not the time to get over-emotional._

_*CRASH*_

'AHH!'

A painting fell off the wall and plummeted to the ground with a fairly loud CRASH, and the moment that bang hit his eardrums Luigi's blood pressure spiked. It took several seconds of deep breathing to calm himself down.

He heard E. Gadd laughing at him, and it made him blush, both in embarrassment and in frustration. No one ever seemed to take his hatred for loud noises seriously.

'Stop fooling around, Luigi!' E. Gadd said. 'What part of 'posthaste' was not clear?'

With a sigh, Luigi continued to walk down the hallway. He heard Polterpup growling rather defensively, and he could only guess he was growling at E. Gadd.

'Let it go, boy.' He whispered to him. 'It isn't worth it.'

Polterpup snorted, but obeyed him all the same.

After what felt like a while, they finally arrived at the door. E. Gadd reached for the handle, and turned to Luigi.

'Now sonny, I'm sure you've been wondering why I wanted us to return to my car.' He said.

'Actually, yeah, I-'

'You need not worry for much longer now!' He announced, opening up the way. 'For once we're on the other side of this door, we'll find the- CRIMINY!'

Luigi jolted, and rushed to the open door. He had to cover his mouth in order to contain his high-pitched yelp upon seeing that they were not so alone.

He recognised that blue ghost, as the bellhop who didn't seem especially happy to be carrying people's luggage. Steward, his name was. There was one major difference; he no longer had those uncanny eyes and mouth, and now looked far more like the Goobs from before.

Luigi gasped. _They were ghosts this whole time?! I KNEW there was something off about them! … I need to trust my instinct more. Would've saved us all this trouble..._

Steward had a luggage cart with him, far more rusty and worn than the last one. It only now dawned on Luigi that these suitcases were not at all familiar to him. In fact, they seemed to be worn away by years worth of age.

He gulped. _Who else was here before us?_

Steward grunted as he hoisted a green suitcase into his arms, and chucked it onto the cart. He looked over at all the other suitcases on the floor, and growled to himself.

'We're packing up, she said.' He muttered. 'Time to finally get rid of all those old suitcases, she said. No one needs them anymore, she said! Well thanks Ms Gravely! Hey, you know what would be nice? Actual HELP!'

Despite him being, ya know, a _ghost_, Luigi couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. Seeing this poor skinny bellhop struggle to do work forced upon spoke to him on a personal level.

'Be careful, sonny.' E. Gadd whispered. 'If we're careful, we should be able to get to my car without provoking... where are you going? Lui... Luigi!'

Luigi ignored him, and walked towards the ghostly bellhop, because he has to ignore an order as simple as 'be careful'.

Steward chucked on another suitcase. 'Yeah, what a brilliant idea! We'll lure these idiots to our hotel, so we have to deal with all their garbage. Love it! Oh, if only we could get some of those blue guys to help me.'

It was at this moment that Luigi realised that he probably made a big mistake here. Unfortunately for him, he shared some of Mario's stubbornness.

He gulped. 'Uh... h-hi, S-Steward. Y-You want help?'

Both E. Gadd and Polterpup slammed their hand/paw directly into their foreheads. Steward gasped, and spun his whole body around to look at him. Luigi smiled like someone had him in their crosshair, and waved with the same amount of cheeriness.

'You!' Steward cried. 'You're that green guy! Ms Gravely told us about you.' He gritted his teeth. 'You're the one who's gonna ruin everything!'

'I-I just wanted to help.'

'If I present you to Ms Gravely, she might give me a better job than this. Get over here so I can...!'

He paused for a few seconds, then sighed. His head and arms hung down like he was being hanged by his back.

'Oh, forget it. Do what you want with me. I'm just so SICK of this stupid job!'

Luigi blinked at him. He lifted up his flashlight to beam him just in case this was all a 'fake surrendering' thing.

'I used to like this job, you know.' Steward ranted, flailing his arms about when appropriate. 'It was kinda fun at first, helping out the guests with their crud. But after doing the same job for decades or even centuries - heck if I know how long it's been! - it got tedious fast.'

Luigi, taking care to walk as quietly as possible, approached him with a charging Strobulb.

'But you wanna know what really sucks? You'd think that after all these years of lifting these heavy suitcases, you'd get stronger, right? Wrrrong-o! Guess what? Unless you were all muscly to begin with, ghosts can't gain muscles at all!'

Totally oblivious to the approaching man, he held his spindly arms out.

'I mean, look at these noodle arms! I could've been the guy who just handed out drinks. But nooo. I had to be the guy who had to carry all these stupid people's stupid lug- HEY!'

Luigi's heart told him it wasn't right to capture a ghost who was just surrendering, but the rest of him said it was just like Madame Clairvoya. So, he flashed Steward square in the eyes.

'S-Sorry.'

He wasted no opportunity to get him, so he yanked his tail into the Poltergust and did not let go. Steward got over his stunned state in moments, and dragged the plumber all around the carpark, through every puddle and into every traffic cone.

'Hey hey hey!' The ghost yelled. 'What are you doing, buddy?!'

Luigi's feet slipped all over the place as he pulled them through another puddle. 'But I-I thought you - GAH!'

Steward rammed him right into one of those old suitcases. Luigi squeaked out in pain as his shins collided with the hard leather. His face slammed into the ground, and his grip on Steward vanished.

Taking a moment to groan, he pushed his face off the concrete floor and unhooked his legs from the luggage. Steward grabbed a red suitcase, and struggled to lift it up any more than an inch. Luigi took this chance to get back on his feet.

'B-But I though you, uh, wanted to be captured?' He said. 'Or... s-something.'

Steward pulled on that old trunk with so much force, his arms began to stretch. He huffed and puffed, and despite the fact that he had no way of lifting it nearly as high as he wanted he kept trying.

'Hey, _look_.' He managed to say between grunts. 'Just cos I... said it, doesn't mean... I meant it. No matter what... Ms Gravely puts me through, I will obey... her until the very... end!'

Somehow, the weak little ghost managed to get the suitcase into his shaky arms. He gave Luigi a glare that told him to 'watch out'.

'Steward, I-I mean it!' Luigi pleaded, holding both his hands up. 'I just wanted to help you.'

'Heh. A likely... _oh goodness_... story!'

Having none of the green man's nonsense, he lifted the suitcase even higher, and gave it a good - if incredibly slow - overarm shot. Though not very quickly at all, it approached our timid hero.

'Watch out, sonny!' E. Gadd yelled from the sidelines. 'If that suitcase hits ya, it'll really sting!'

Now _that_ was advice Luigi was actually going to follow. He got out of the way of the packed projectile, which wasn't that hard considering how slowly it was moving. It collided with the other suitcase, and both fell to pieces almost immediately.

After all, even if the guy tossing them is a weakling, they're still boxes of leather filled to the brim with usually heavy stuff. Luigi gulped, unable to see the rubble as anything but what could've been his bones.

Steward grunted and clenched his fists. 'Sweet Gravely, make like a deer and let me get you!'

He picked up another trunk, struggling with it even more than the last. Luigi mentally searched for any kind of opening, but the suitcase blocked the ghost's face. Doubting it would work, he charged up his Strobulb and unleashed its flash.

Just as he expected, the hard leather blocked any rays from stunning Steward.

'Hey buddy, ghosts don't like light.' Steward said, sounding like he was seconds away from passing out. 'But I hear that plumbers really like a suitcase to the - YOWCH!'

He dropped the suitcase as his body seized up with pain. Luigi stared in confusion at the sudden, um, whatever that was, until he saw that Polterpup had clamped his suddenly sharp teeth onto Steward's tail.

Polterpup pulled on the tail like he was in the middle of an intense game of tug-o-war. Upon getting a mean stare from Steward, he dropped it and looked up at the bellhop with an innocent smile.

Luigi grinned, and charged up his light-based weapon.

'Bad dog!' Steward yelled, shooting a finger at him. 'BAD dog! Don't mess with my attempts at pleasing the boss.'

He turned around to return to smashing the literal life out of the plumber, and before his mind even registered his eyes meeting him, Luigi greeted him with a full on blast of light.

'GAH! Green guy, I'm gonna-!'

Luigi didn't wait a single second, and sucked his tail right up into the Poltergust's nozzle. Once again, the bellhop flew about in an attempt to shake him off, except this time Luigi did a much better job at hanging on. Now, possibly due to exhausting himself trying to lift heavy objects, Steward could hardly fight the vacuum at all. His struggling slowly came to a stop as the realisation of his inevitable defeat came over him.

'I-I'm sorry.' Luigi muttered.

Even though half his body was already gone, Steward managed to turn around to stare directly into the mortal's eyes.

'Hey bud, I got a couple of words for you!'

Luigi gulped, but his fear drained away when Steward dropped the glare in favour of a small smile.

'Thank you.'

His simple thanks were his last words before he was sucked inside the ghost-capturing machine. Rather comically, his hat remained spinning in place even as he disappeared. The last part of him that Luigi saw was his spindly arm reaching out and grabbing his floating hat, before nothing of him remained.

'Arf arf!' Polterpup cheered.

'Ya did it, sonny!' E. Gadd said, approaching him. 'I only doubted you for a moment.'

Luigi stared at the nozzle, only one thought in his mind. _Why... why did he thank me?_

His Poltergust nozzle began shaking, snapping him back to reality. He grabbed it with both hands, but the shaking just got worse.

Two golden lights flew out, hitting him with nasty recoil. Both the lights bounced against the floor a couple times, before coming to a gentle stop. And since Luigi liked bright shiny gold things, he walked over to the lights and picked them both up. He peered at them for a few moments, but upon realising just what those numbers were for he grinned.

E. Gadd readjusted his glasses and gave the lights a closer look, then grinned as well.

'Professor, I think these are the-!'

'Ho ho! Those are definitely the elevator buttons. I never would've guessed a ghost had taken them!'

Luigi sighed. _Yeah, who would've thought that the buttons would've been taken by ghosts in a hotel full of them._

'But...there are only two.' E. Gadd said. 'Maybe there are other ghosts out there with the rest of the buttons?'

Luigi's eye twitched.

'No matter. Let's go to my car. I've got something very interesting that I want to show you!'

Well, no need to worry about the eventual torment he'd have to go through later. He packed the buttons away into his pockets; it was time for E. Gadd to finally show him this very interesting something.

* * *

_**STEWARD, THE FRUSTRATED BELLHOP**_

_AGE - 26_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Crushed by luggage_

_Steward appears to be one of Hellen Gravely's first workers. Ever since the beginning, he's been lifting luggage. Before he died in a tragic luggage cart accident, he actually liked helping people out. But after working for Ms Gravely, his hatred for the job skyrocketed in the span of a day._

* * *

**Author Notes - Yeah, I decided to have it so the Boss Ghosts used to be humans themselves, like in the first game. And like the first game, I'll detail most of their deaths cos I gotta **_**earn**_ **that 'T' rating.**

**Like all my best ideas, most of what I did with Steward happened on the spot. All I planned was 'he hates his job', and everything else followed. I'm especially proud with the 'thanks Luigi before he disappears' thing.**

**I know that door isn't unlocked initially, but with how long I write I gotta streamline some things.**

**So what is **_**this **_**ending scene about? I'm being intentionally vague about what's 'wrong' (with ALL the quotation marks) with Luigi. I do have one interpretation in mind (hint: it applies to me too), but I tried to make sure I left it open for multiple possibilities. However, I may have screwed up and you will know** **exactly what I was trying to imply.**

* * *

_Luigi was only eight when his parents, Martin and Lucinda, sat him down in his room to talk to him. Young Luigi assumed that he had done something wrong, as they typically did this when Mario got in trouble, and he struggled to imagine what he could've done_.

'_W-whatever I did wrong... I-I'm sorry.'_

_But when he saw their worried expressions, he realised it was something more serious._

'_You've done nothing wrong, Luigi.' Martin said, patting his back._

'_We just have to... talk.' Lucinda added, hesitantly._

_What proceeded was... an interesting discussion, and not at all what Luigi was expecting. His parents talked about how they always suspected there was something... different about him. __Luigi listened to every word intently, and the more he listened the more the words hit close to home. They talked for a while, detailing everything that lead them to this point._

_By the end of it, Luigi was staring at his lap, thoughts about that discussion strong in his mind._

_Lucinda had her arm wrapped around him. 'I know that's a lot to take in. Do you understand?'_

_She often had to ask him that question, and it was never as important for him to say 'yes' as it was now._

'_S-So...' Luigi stammered. 'That's what's wrong with me.'_

_He must've said something wrong, because both his parents glared at him. He hated that look; it meant he screwed up big time._

'_Luigi!' Lucinda yelled._

'_Don't ever say that again!' Martin joined, pointing right at him._

_Oh, he really screwed up. His mother hardly ever yelled at him._

'_I'm sorry Momma, I'm sorry!' He cried, his eyes tearing up. 'I-I didn't mean it. Just... just tell me what I did wrong!'_

_He lifted his knees up and buried his face in his arms as the tears began to flow._

There really is something wrong with m_e, he bitterly thought._

_Lucinda brought him into a sudden embrace, and hugged him tight. He didn't know what he did to deserve it, but he wrapped himself up in her warmth. __She stroked his hair. It made him smile through the tears._

'_We're so sorry, Sweetie. You did absolutely nothing wrong.'_

'_Then... then why did you yell at me?'_

_Now he was confused. Really confused. His mind struggled to put these seemingly unrelated pieces together._

'_We don't want you saying that there's anything wrong with you again.' Martin said, much softer than before but still rather stern._

'_But... but isn't it true? I heard everything you said, and-'_

'_Sweetie...'_

_His mother looked him straight in the eye, the same innocent eyes the both of them shared._

'_There's nothing wrong with you. This is just a part of who you are. And it would never make us love you any less.'_

'_Y-You mean that?'_

_She smiled. Her smile was precious, and could make even the most stone-hearted person calm and content._

'_I mean it. And we'll help you, don't worry. But, you have more potential than you realise. You'll be just fine.'_

_Luigi learnt a lot about himself that day. He learnt why he seemed so 'different' compared to other people his age. And, most of all, he learnt that he should never regard this aspect of him as 'being something wrong with him'._

_Even if it was hard to remember that lesson sometimes._


	4. Suite and Sour Retreats

**Author Notes - I found it kinda weird that one of the first floors you go to gameplay-wise was floor number five.**

**Chambrea was a fun boss though, as she's rather unique. She requires slamming to reduce her health (even MacFrights doesn't need to be slammed in his second phase), she doesn't stay in the one arena, and when you beat her the button does not go flying out of the Poltergust.**

**Speaking of which, according to LM3's settings, the official term for using the Poltergust is 'poltergusting'.**

**Thanks to Fee1919V, TAWOGfan2000, and breath20k for the favourites, and WarryarusBoi for the follow!**

_**UPDATE 14/05/20 - Moved beginning flashback scene to end.**_

**CHAPTER FOUR - SUITE OR SOUR RETREATS**

'Goodness! How do those mortals and ghosts deal with all this dust?!'

Chambrea brushed her feather duster against just about every surface in that red plumber's room. She wrinkled her nose at the very sight of the half-eaten pizzas on the floor.

'What a hero... can't even clean up after himself! Why can't he be more like the nice green boy? There isn't even anything worth taking!'

Truthfully, she only did her job because everything needed to be sparkly clean. Helping others was an afterthought. She would've liked one more thing though - money. It'd be nice if Hellen Gravely ever paid her.

After a while, she finally finished with that room. She sighed, and nearly dropped her duster in exhaustion.

'I swear, if the mushrooms are even worse... I need a raise...'

She looked down to her impressive gut, and the painting that lay within it. The terrified look Daisy gave her through the still portrait put a smile on her face.

'So, what do you think? Did I do a good job at fixing up this mess of a room?'

Daisy couldn't respond, but behind the stillness one could see the fear and frustration in her eyes increase. It made Chambrea chuckle.

'Of course you agree. I don't slave away for hours for nothing, you know. Even if I do... Now... time to clean up the mush rooms.'

* * *

What the heck could E. Gadd's interesting thing be? He already had the new Poltergust, and the Dark-Light device, so what else was there? It could've been something as fantastical as another magic paintbrush, or maybe the 'Hydrogush 5000'.

'Wait just a moment, sonny.' E. Gadd said as he approached his car. 'You'll see it soon enough.'

He walked up to the trunk of his car, and without even looking he booted it with his elbow. The latch flew open, revealing a, uh... silver dome-looking thing with lines criss-crossing over it, whose sheen reflected the ceiling lights well.

E. Gadd took it out, making how big it was in comparison to him that much more obvious. Luigi's eyes sparkled at the sheer shine the thing gave off. In fact, it practically hypnotised him.

'Shiny...' He muttered, reaching for the Shiny. 'Me like shiny...'

'Luigi!' E. Gadd snapped. 'Don't touch!'

Luigi yelped and backed away, his arms stuck to his straightened sides. E. Gadd sighed, remembering why he never had children.

'Okay. What is it?' Luigi asked.

'Just another one of my brilliant inventions. Come on. I'm certain you'll be amazed.'

Polterpup gave him a questioning look. Regardless, Luigi followed E. Gadd when he walked into the middle of the carpark where there were no parked cars in the way.

'Behold!' E. Gadd announced, motioning to the, uh, wall I guess. 'The Portable-' He turned around, and remembered that he hadn't activated the darn thing yet. 'Oh, for goodness' sake...'

As he settled the dome thing on the floor, Luigi contemplated getting the guy thrown into a retirement home. E. Gadd pressed the big red button on the top, and the crossing lines glowed bright green. It emitted smoke, while the sound of gears could be heard.

E. Gadd backed up all the way until he stood by Luigi's side. The man in green leaned forward with his curiosity piqued, until E. Gadd held his arm out to stop him.

'So, uh, what does it-?'

'Just a few more seconds...'

For a few seconds, the dome thing just sat there, emitting steam like an overheated car engine. Until, of course, it suddenly grew about fifty times its size, and sprouted very E. Gadd-like features on its walls.

'Wait, wha... wait, what?!'

The dome thing now resembled both E. Gadd's bunker in Evershade Valley and his face. Before Luigi could piece any thoughts together, a couple of satellites burst from its top and into the ceiling. They left a noticeable dent in the concrete above, scattering dust everywhere.

'So sonny, what do you think?'

Words were completely beyond Luigi at this point. All he could do was stare with his jaw wide open.

'I. I. You. The. Huh?' Was the most coherent statement he could up with.

'Impressive, isn't it?' E. Gadd said, approaching the mouth-door. 'It's another one of my brilliant inventions: a portable lab! Thank goodness I packed this for my trip, eh? It's sturdy, safe, and air conditioned!'

Luigi still stared with his mouth agape. I'm fairly certain that his mind snapped.

'Well? Get in here, boys! This bunker is a hundred percent ghost-proof - except for Polterpup, of course - so you best get in posthaste!'

Polterpup realised his owner wasn't going to break from this trance, so he grabbed his arm and pulled him along. Once he finally got inside the lab, Luigi snapped out of his stunned staring.

It reminded him of the bunker from Evershade Valley, what with the various computer screens hanging from the wall above E. Gadd's desk. The ghost container unit rested in the corner. E. Gadd already had himself placed on the spinning chair.

'Wow... this is impressive.' He said, mostly just happy to have breathable air and no phantoms to worry about.

'Of course it's impressive! When do I create anything less than impressive?'

A shiny bit of paper on the desk caught his attention. Upon peering at it closer, he noticed how familiar it was.

_'Congratulations, Elvin Gadd! You're the lucky winner of a free stay at a world-class hotel, The Last Resort! We look forward to dazzling you with first-rate-_'

He gasped. 'You were invited too?'

E. Gadd nodded, his expression far more serious than usual. 'Long story short... I was tricked. They said they had a precious collection of ghosts, gathered from all over the world! No self-respecting ghost researcher would pass up on such an appealing offer, obviously!'

Luigi sighed, as if he was really in a place to judge, Mr-Fell-For-The-Same-Trap-Twice.

'They captured me, and got their spindly little arms on my ghost collection! Fortunately, it seems most of them are still in the container. If that hotel owner took away King Boo, that'd really get under my skin! He's my favourite...'

Luigi's eyes widened, and he scratched the back of his neck. Things suddenly got very awkward very quickly. A dramatic sting followed by a laugh track would fit this situation perfectly.

He laughed nervously. 'Uh, y-yeah... um, about that...'

'What? They've released King Boo?!' E. Gadd yelled, his jaw and glasses falling. He buried his face in his hands. 'Ugh! That hotel owner! What has she done?!'

Luigi played with his hands for a moment, trying to soothe the stress of his current predicament. Most of said stress came from how he knew exactly where the professor was about to go.

'Luigi!' E. Gadd said, lifting his head back up. 'You're our only hope! Against all odds, without any hesitation, and at any cost...get my favourite ghost back!'

The plumber sighed again; he wasn't surprised that the professor had skewed priorities. Just disappointed.

'What's with that look, Luigi? Am I forgetting something important?'

Luigi raised an eyebrow at him.

'Oh. Oh! That's right! I forgot about saving your friends and family. Completely and totally forgot.'

Between this and treating his Toad assistants poorly, he has a bad track record. Polterpup growled at him again. While he would never attack a friend, it was really tempting right about now.

'Regardless! To find ghosts and your friends, you'll need to explore this hotel! To help you out, I'll give you one of my greatest inventions yet!'

Seemingly from his pocket, he pulled out a big red device bigger than his body. And those Nintendo nerds out there might recognise it.

'I call it...the Virtual Boo! VB for short!'

Luigi's eyes widened. The VB didn't just look somewhat familiar. It was practically identical to that old Virtual Boy that literally everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom thought was the dumbest thing ever. Luigi himself thought it was alright, or at least he would have if it didn't give him a headache every time he tried to use it.

'It's a state-of-the-art virtual-reality device fitted with a fancy red screen! Really cutting-edge stuff. And red is all the rage, you know? Just wait until I finish the marketing materials on this. It'll fly off the shelves!'

Luigi just barely managed to stifle his laughter. Polterpup glanced at him to say 'just let him have this one', though letting the professor find out the inevitable disappointment doesn't seem much better.

Wondering how the VB could've been such a downgrade from both the Game Boy Horror and Dual Scream, he took it and stuffed it into his own oversized pockets.

'You can use the VB to communicate with me at any time. Hey, maybe we can test out the communications system later... Oh, and I have one more thing to give you.'

From presumably the same pocket, he pulled out a... red cylinder looking thing. You tell me how to describe his devices.

Luigi took it, and inspected it all over. 'Okay? What is it? What do I do with this?'

'The very first thing you need to do is install this elevator tracker inside the elevator for me, OK? As for what it is... I'll tell you later! Go on and get it installed! Head for the elevator! I'm counting on you, Luigi!'

* * *

'I am **not** telling her. _You_ can go tell her.'

'And face her wrath? Heck no! You tell her.'

'Look, how about we play on it. Okay?'

'Alright... scissors, paper, roc... DANG IT!'

'Congratulations honey! You get to tell Ms Gravely that we done goofed.'

'Uh... best of three?'

'Sam, get going.'

Sam sighed, in frustration and despair. She and her partner Charles stood just outside Hellen Gravely's office. The arguments had gone on long enough, and now Sam had been elected to tell her.

'I don't wanna...' She whined.

'Okay, how about this?' Charles said. 'You have to talk to her _now_. I have to talk to her _next_. Deal?'

She grinned. 'You mean when she's probably gonna be even more furious? Heck yeah!'

With an air of confidence, she flew into Hellen's office. The hotel owner was looking away, focused on her screens. She must've been paying a lot of attention to them, because she didn't make any sounds.

And instantly all of Sam's confidence vanished.

She cleared her throat and waved. 'So, Ms Gravely, we-'

The chair spun around, greeting her with a peeved-off Hellen. 'YOU IMBECILES!'

Hellen took out her make-up and powdered her whole face, multiple times. With that done, she slammed her hands into her desk.

'How could you let him get a hold of that blasted vacuum cleaner?!' She yelled. 'That was the ONE thing we couldn't let happen! And what did you do?'

Sam chuckled nervously, just loud enough so she couldn't hear her partner violently bashing his forehead into his arms.

'Er... we let-'

'YOU LET IT HAPPEN!'

Sam unleashed a very high-pitched sound as she flinched, covering her face with her arms while muttering 'please don't hit me' over and over again to herself.

'How do you work for me for this long and still remain as INCOMPETENT AS **HELL?!**'

Sam had been reduced to a shivering pile of blue. She swallowed her fear, and tried her hardest to look her boss in the eye.

'T-To be fair to us, all you told Charles and I to do was mark off those pictures and keep an eye on him. And we did exactly that. AND, Owen and whats-her-name did hide that Dark-Light thingy like you told them to.'

'So why does Luigi have the 'Dark-Light thingy' on him then, hm?' Hellen questioned, much more calmly.

'Wait, he got the light thingy?! Oh my Jaydes, we're doomed!'

Charles groaned, and drifted into the scene. Upon seeing her partner in the room, Sam smiled and relaxed.

'Let's not panic right now.' He said. 'He still hasn't saved anyone, has he?'

'Other than that professor, no.' Hellen responded, tapping her fingers on the desk. 'Which I'll take the blame for. I should've known putting him in the mezzanine was a bad idea. But I wouldn't worry too much about that.'

She glanced at the Mario portrait leaning up against the wall. The terrified look in his eyes made her happy.

'Luigi, being the 'hero' he is, will refuse to leave without Mario. So by the time he gets up here, I'm sure you'll have taken care of him. And if you don't...' She slammed her hands down again. 'YOU'LL KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME MS _GRAVE_LY!'

Charles went stiff, and nodded like a broken bobble head.

'Y-Yes ma'am. I assure you that Sam and I will keep watch of him. Isn't that right, Sam? Sam?'

Sam did not respond, as she was no longer by his side. Instead, she had made her way into the corner, where a fluffy cat bed rested. She crawled along on her hands, getting her smiling face very close to a pink ghost cat that slept in the bed.

'Hi there, Polterkitty.' She said.

The cat, Polterkitty, slowly lifted her head and opened her blue eyes. Her three tails lashed, and she looked at Sam with her eyes half-closed.

'You're such a cutie, ya know that?' Sam said, holding her hand out.

Polterkitty rubbed her cheeks against the open palm, purring contently. Her ruby collar jangled as she pushed her head into the welcoming hand.

'Mrow!'

'N'awww, you're so cute!'

'Polterkitty, darling.' Hellen said.

Sam retracted her arm as soon as she heard her boss's voice. Polterkitty looked up at her owner with wide eyes, not blinking once. Hellen gave her a smile that was a little too sweet.

'I'm sure you know that our workers aren't worthy enough to pat you. We all know only I can do that.'

Polterkitty kept up her wide-eyed stare, but nodded.

'Good. Glad to see you still remember that. Now, as for you two...'

Charles and Sam waited, hating how every second of silence built up the dread for her inevitable orders.

'MAKE SURE MY STAFF HAVE THEIR CRAP TOGETHER!'

The couple soared out of the office, screaming their heads off. Hellen groaned, her eyes falling upon a framed photo on her desk.

Oh, how she loved that photo. It was of King Boo, and all of his handsome glory. She placed her head in her hands, and sighed blissfully.

'Don't worry. I'll make sure you get what you want. Then I'll get what I want.'

She lifted her feather boa up to her face and gave it a sniff. It made her exhale with glee; thanks to a special detergent, it smelled exactly like King Boo.

* * *

Luigi - after nearly dropping the thing several times in the process - managed to install the elevator tracker right where E. Gadd wanted him to. It opened up into two screens that hung from the wall, one that showed the layout of the floor he was on, and the other much smaller one above it that was blank, until E. Gadd popped up on the feed.

'_Hello Luigi!_' He said. '_It seems the installation was a success! That device takes the data of the floor layout and displays it on the monitor. Isn't that great? Hey, why don't you take those elevator buttons you've collected, and insert them into the panel?_'

Of course, Luigi still had those buttons on his person. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the one labelled '1'.

'A-ha!' He said, holding it up like a trophy.

But as he went to install it into place, it began jiggling around in his hand like a wild animal trying to break free. He glanced at it for a moment, before it flew right out of his hand.

'Whoa!'

It seemed to do so for no reason other than 'haunted hotel'. Polterpup had to fight his urge to place fetch with it, as drool pooled down the sides of his mouth. It came in for a landing, and twisted itself into place.

'Uh, that works too.'

He took out the '5' button, and just like the last one it flew into its correct spot.

'Oh yeah!'

'_Oh, did I mention that the data is automatically sent to the Virtual Boo?_' E. Gadd continued. '_So you'll be able to check the map at any time! Those buttons will let you reach new floors, ripe for exploration! Oh, and you might find your friends there. No guarantee though!_'

Whether that ending comment was more of E. Gadd's wonderful priorities that made Luigi very concerned, or him reminding Luigi to keep his expectations down, is up to you.

'_Before you head off, we'll need to test the VB's communication capabilities. You should be getting a call, right about_...'

Luigi jumped a little as the ringtone played rather suddenly. It was a familiar one, similar to the song he hummed to in that first mansion. He answered the call by putting the clunky VB up to his eyes.

The red-on-black graphics hit him in the face, but fortunately for him they were far more subdued this time around, making any headaches unlikely.

E. Gadd popped up right in the middle of the screen. '_Testing, testing, one two three. This is E. Gadd, resident genius! Am I coming through loud and clear?_'

It sounded like the voice was coming from directly inside his head.

'Uh, yep.' Luigi responded.

'_Fantastic! It appears to be working perfectly! Which means you can contact me at any time if need be_.'

Luigi smiled. Between this and his Polterpup, he knew he'd be a lot less lonely this time around.

'_OK! Testing my inventions is fun, but we should get back to work. Speaking of which... I have a job for you!_'

His smile faded.

'_I was actually staying in a room on floor five. There's a briefcase in there. Could you fetch it for me?_'

'S-Sure, I guess.'

'_Wonderful! My room number is... oh blast, what was it? I believe it was all the way at the back. Eh, you'll know when you see it. Good luck, Luigi! Try to come back alive!_'

E. Gadd's laughter was the last thing Luigi heard before the call ended. The plumber put it away, groaning. He looked down to his dog, who was wagging his tail.

'Heh. At least one of us is excited.'

* * *

The elevator ride up there was both too long, and too short somehow. The doors opened up, and the only brevity Luigi had here was that he knew this floor would be at least a little familiar.

Polterpup waltzed out like he wasn't in some sort of horrific situation. Then again, it wasn't like he could die. Luigi followed after him, his knees shaking the most they had yet that night.

'How do you do it?' He asked his partner.

'Woof!'

'Heh. So that's your secret.'

He barely got five steps out the door, until E. Gadd called him again. After getting over his flashbacks of getting called every two seconds in Evershade Valley, he answered.

'_Sorry for the call sonny, but I just realised I forgot to tell you about another of the Poltergust G-00's new capabilities. I call it... the Suction Shot!_'

Though you couldn't see it through the VB, Luigi had a very concerned look on his face.

'_It fires out a plunger at whatever you're aiming at, and if you use your Poltergust on it you can hoist anything over your shoulders! Okay, maybe not everything. Some things may require double the power, but we'll get to that later. Try it out!_'

With the call over, Luigi now had the time to wonder what the heck the professor was on about. He inspected the nozzle of his weapon, and noticed another button at the back.

'How did I not notice that?'

He held the button, and right out of nowhere his flashlight got replaced by the end of a plunger.

'Ah! O-Okay. So I...'

He let go of the button, and the Poltergust fired the plunger - which had a rope attached to the end of it - exactly where he was 'aiming' at. It stuck to the wall, before popping off and vanishing.

'Ah, I get it! Luigi understand now.'

But what was this about hoisting objects over his shoulder?

'Okay, so now I know I can do that. Maybe we should be looking for that suitcase, huh? You think you can find E. Gadd's room for me?'

Polterpup nodded, and put his nose to the ground. He picked up a lot of scents on the floor, each one unique for every guest. The aroma of pizza was definitely Mario. The perfume that made him sneeze belonged to Peach. And the smell of coffee and ectoplasm...

His head shot up. 'Arf arf!'

Luigi smiled. 'You got something?'

Polterpup nodded with his tongue hanging out.

'Take me there!'

The ghostly puppy dashed off to the left hallway, where the Toads' rooms were. He leapt over some suitcases that blocked the way. Luigi, on the other hand, was totally weighed down by the vacuum on his back.

'How am I supposed to...?' He smirked at Polterpup. 'Watch this!' He said, while not being sure that it would work.

He aimed a plunger at one of the suitcases, and fired. It latched onto the side of it, and unlike the last shot this one stayed in place, no doubt a very consumer-friendly feature. Intuitively, the end of the rope fit into his Poltergust perfectly without getting sucked up.

With the rope in his grasp, he backed away until the rope couldn't be stretched any further. Just like how he would when slamming ghosts, he lifted the nozzle up.

'Eee... YAH!'

Like a charm, the suitcase went flying over his head, and crashed into the floor behind him. It fell to pieces, and practically nothing remained except shards of broken leather and shattered bits of luggage.

Polterpup yelped in surprise, and cheered on his awesome owner. He even performed the most adorable dance you will ever seen a little dog perform.

'That's right, Polterpup! I am strong! Nothing is too heavy for Luigi to lift!' He claimed while flexing, which only showed his lack of muscles.

'Arf!' Polterpup barked in a manner a little more annoyed than usual.

'O-Oh, right.'

Luigi joined his dog on the other side of the suitcases now that he could walk on through. He saw a little lounging area in front of him, and to his left the rest of the hallway. The moon provided him with plenty of white natural light.

He looked down to Polterpup. 'You think the professor's room is down there?'

'Arf arf!'

'Well, then let's get the briefcase and then out of here.'

The duo walked down the hallway, enjoying the beautiful moonlight while they still had it. Luigi had the Strobulb in his hand, just in case something leapt out of him.

'Be careful, boy.' He said. 'Ghosts could jump out at any-'

He saw something move in the corner of his eyes.

'AH! Get away from me!'

The beam from a fully-charged Strobulb filled the hallway. Once the light vanished from both the room and his eyes, he saw that there was nothing in the hallway but a cart of cleaning supplies in front of him.

'Oh! ... Oh.'

But then the cart, without anything in sight to it possible, rolled across the floor on its own until it crashed into the floor. It fell over and sat there like a dead zebra. Luigi didn't scream, but he did stare into nothingness.

'Get me to the professor's room. Right now.'

Polterpup lead him around the corner and down the next corridor. For each room they passed, Luigi grew more and more uneasy. Maybe it was how the candles lit themselves as they walked past them.

After several minutes of paranoia later, they arrived at the last room in the hallway, No. 508, exactly where the coffee-ectoplasm trail lead to. Polterpup sniffed at the door, and felt something on the other side. Whatever it was, it emitted an awful aura that he could feel through the wall. His owner didn't sense it, but he wouldn't be able to anyway. Only ghosts could feel the aura of another ghost.

'So, this is the professor's room?' Luigi asked.

'Yip!'

Luigi breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, just like his parents taught him. Following the logic that hesitating would just delay getting out of there, he pushed the door open and entered.

It seemed that Polterpup was right. Vials filled with unknown fluids were scattered across the floor. Blueprints and diagrams of various inventions dotted the walls. Wrenches and screwdrivers covered the bed and desk. It had E. Gadd proverbially written all over it. Luigi couldn't focus on these details, as his attention was set on the ghost in the room.

She was the same ghost Luigi saw from before, the maid ghost who was dusting the railing back when the hotel was golden. Chambrea.

Polterpup growled at her, just quietly enough that she couldn't hear him. It took Luigi a lot of might not to scream immediately. Chambrea hadn't noticed them yet. She was too busy dusting the desk. She had a look of very visible disgust on her face. She picked up some of those papers, and arranged them into a pile.

'Ugh, the professor is even worse than the red boy!' She cried. 'This isn't even organised chaos. It's just insanity! Couldn't even be bothered to put these papers in numerical order...'

Her eyes fell upon a briefcase resting against the desk. It had E. Gadd's face on it, and the shininess of it attracted her attention.

'Ooh, this looks neat.' She said, lifting it off the floor. 'Most of this professor's junk is just nonsense words, but this could be interesting... wonder what's in it?'

Some maid she was. She peered closely at it, looking for any sort of clues for what its contents could be.

Actually, Luigi wasn't paying attention to her, nor the fact that the briefcase she was looking at was definitely the one they were supposed to be looking for. No, he was focused on what lay in her belly.

It was a portrait. But not any ordinary portrait. The terrified woman inside was very familiar to Luigi.

'Daisy!'

He slapped his hand over his mouth, but knew it was already too late. Chambrea turned to him immediately and gasped.

'You're... you're that green boy!'

She held the briefcase close to her chest, enwrapping it in her arms like it was her child.

'You want to take my briefcase , don't you?'

Luigi blinked at her, trying to piece a coherent sentence together.

'Uh, it's not your-'

'How DARE you?! I found this briefcase first, so now it's MINE!'

Can you believe that this maid is about fifty-four years old? At least, that was her age before she died. Luigi attempted to approach her, but she just hugged it tighter, reminding him of his preschool days.

'Can you just-?'

'Do you know how little compensation I get for the hours I slave away, doing this work?! I spend so much effort into keeping everything clean, then you mortals and those ghosts show up and mess it all up again! I think I deserve something, don't you think?'

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, but had to admit that she had a point. Granted, not a point that redeemed theft.

'Uh, h-here's a deal.' He said. 'J-Just give me the briefcase, and I'll-'

'You just won't give it up, will you? Fine then. I'll just make sure you can't get it.'

Luigi and Polterpup did not expect her next move. She lifted the briefcase up, opened her mouth wide, and shoved it down her throat. Somehow, she didn't just choke on it, and it slid through her throat like it was greased.

'Huh?' Luigi said. 'No!'

The briefcase - the entire reason they were here to begin with - landed in her gut and joined the portrait of Daisy.

'Wait, I-I needed that!'

Chambrea ignored his pleas, and flew into the wall. She got half-way through until her belly got stuck. Turns out that swallowing the giant trunk may not have been a good idea.

'Ugh... dang it! Come... on...' She muttered, struggling in place. 'Just... get... through!'

She managed to squeeze her way through after much struggling. Luigi stared at the spot where she disappeared into. He couldn't think of anything else but one thing.

'Daisy...'

The VB began calling him, but he didn't notice it. The thoughts of Daisy overtook anything else. Her look of terror buried its way into his mind.

Polterpup nudged his leg.

'Huh?'

Then he noticed the VB calling.

'Oh!'

E. Gadd had a steaming cup of coffee on his desk, and was just now getting comfortable. He picked up his coffee and looked at the camera.

'_Sorry sonny. I was just brewing up a Lunoman Greenie blend, so I hadn't the time to check on you. Have you gotten my __briefcase __back, by any chance?_'

Luigi lifted up the VB to stare at the spot again for a moment, and returned to the call.

'Uh... I found it. But, uh, the maid ate it.' Only by saying it out loud did he realise how strange it was.

'_She ate i-?! Ghost maids eating people's luggage? That's a new one. You'll have to go after her to get my __briefcase __back!_'

'What's in it anyway?'

'_It's a surprise, Luigi! But we'll both need it.'_ There was a small dinging in the background. _'Ooh, sounds like my whipping cream is ready. I'll have to call you back. Hope you get that important __briefcase __back!_'

'Oh, and I found-'

E. Gadd hung up on him abruptly before he could mention the more exciting discovery. Though, did E. Gadd know about Daisy? Luigi's never mentioned her to him, nor have they shared any games.

Luigi put the VB away, and armed himself with the Strobulb. He headed for the door with his chest puffed out. Though his knees shook, the determination emanating off the rest of his body was enough to hide it.

'Okay boy. Let's go after that maid.' He spoke just like an actor in an action movie.

'Arf?'

Even Polterpup couldn't believe his owner's change in attitude. Heck, _Luigi_ could barely believe it.

The next time his mouth opened, the confidence had disappeared. His voice sounded weaker, and close to tears.

'I just want Daisy back.'

* * *

It didn't take Luigi long to find Chambrea again. After her glorious attempt at phasing through the wall, she snuck off into the adjacent room. He didn't even need Polterpup's help in tracking her down.

Judging by the deflated balloons and streamers on the floor - and the yellow luggage - this had to be Parr T's room. The sunny fungus always felt the need to carry around a portable party with him wherever he went.

Chambrea floated in the middle of the room, leering at all the garbage on the floor. 'Ugh... the floor is still a lost cause.'

She hadn't quite noticed Luigi in the doorway yet. He stared at the shiny trunk in her stomach, the same trunk that hid the Daisy portrait away from him.

_That stupid briefcase can wait... I gotta save Daisy first._

'I wonder why the green boy even wants my suitcase in the first place...' She muttered, sweeping away at the streamers. 'It clearly isn't his! His belongings have that green L on them, not some weird face. And he gets mad at _me_ for stealing! I've seen that guy's mansion. He's well-off!'

With her distracted by rainbow-coloured pieces of string, Luigi approached her slowly but surely. He had the Strobulb a-charging for the right moment.

'And it's such a shame too.' Chambrea said. 'I thought a boy who holds cleanliness in such high regards would know better than to steal things that don't belong to-'

She noticed some green at the corner of her eye. She turned her head, and saw the green boy walking towards her. He flinched, but by some miracle hadn't let go of the Strobulb button.

'Haven't you learned?!' She shouted through gritted teeth. 'I found this suitcase first, and so it's mine to-'

'I need it!' Luigi yelled as he activated the flash.

'Hey!'

And, got 'er! Chambrea froze in place and stood defenceless, which considering that her weapon of choice was a feather duster wasn't much of a downgrade. Luigi could see Daisy looking at him through the ghost's gut, and it gave him all the courage he needed to get the maid's tail into his weapon.

'No, no!' She cried. 'Get off me!'

Sucking in her tail took practically no effort and she didn't even fly around the room, thus keeping Luigi in place.

Uh, just one problem: she wasn't moving _at all_. She remained with her tail stuck in the nozzle thanks to the briefcase, no matter (_how do I word this_) how long he held down the 'suck' button. What followed was a stalemate, where Luigi couldn't get her into his Poltergust but she couldn't move due to being stuck in it.

'I... believe this isn't how this is supposed to happen, is it?' Chambrea asked.

'Uh... no.' Luigi answered simply.

He held down the button anyway, in hopes that she could end up going down thus pushing both the briefcase and portrait out of her. It was clear it wasn't going to work, but he didn't want to give up.

'T-This might take a while...' He said.

In an attempt to get her to go down, he jiggled the nozzle around a bit, to no avail.

Chambrea, meanwhile, smiled. She was certainly not getting rid of that briefcase now. Not to mention that she had the green boy in a prime position. She reached out her feather duster, and began tickling his face.

'Kootchie kootchie coo!'

Luigi struggled to keep his grip on the Poltergust. The feathers irritated his face, and that wasn't even getting into all the dust that was making him choke.

He felt a tickle in his nose.

_Gah! D-Don't sneeze now!_

'It's okay, Green Boy.' Chambrea said, her grin growing. 'I can do this for as long as I need to.'

He held onto his Poltergust tight.

'_Ah_..._ ahhh_...'

His eyes began to water. The tickling only got worse. The urge was growing, and the worst part was that he couldn't do a thing about it.

'_AHHH-CHOOO!_'

Relief washed over him as he allowed his body to do as it commanded, ending the horrid tickling sensation. The relief soon disappeared when he realised that he - just as he guessed - had let go of the Poltergust.

Sniffling and wiping his watery eyes, he gasped upon seeing that Chambrea had gotten free. She was waving at him with a big smirk on her face.

'Thanks for letting me free, Green Boy.' She said. 'I'd hate to say it, but it's about time I left. I can't have you getting a hold of my precious briefcase!'

She zipped out the door, managing to slip through the wall with ease this time. Taking Daisy's portrait with her.

Luigi gazed at the door, and growled to himself. Just his luck that the one time a ghost was wielding a harmless weapon, it was a feather duster loaded with, well, dust! He clenched his fists; just thinking about it angered him more! He was so close to saving Daisy before his stupid allergies did him in.

'Gah! I can't even fight a maid without screwing up!'

'Yip?'

The sound of Polterpup whimpering melted most of his anger away almost instantly. Luigi's heart melted upon looking at his boy. The puppy's eyes couldn't have been any more heart-wrenching to look at, at least to him.

'You okay, boy?'

'Arf...'

Curse the language barrier. He made a mental note to ask E. Gadd for a Polterpup Translator at some point. In the mean time, he had to make some guesses.

'You saying that I shouldn't be so hard on myself?'

Polterpup nodded. 'Yip!'

It was a message that Luigi had received from a lot of people. Mostly Mario. Mario said it all the time.

_'You're amazing, Weegee!' _He would say. _'Don't be so hard on yourself.'_

Mario had to say it all the time, because that was how often Luigi had this problem. If only being told essentially 'stop being insecure' actually solved the problem.

The fear on Daisy's face had engraved its way into him. Instead of ignoring it, he focused on it. He closed his eyes and imagined that face in front of his.

He smiled. 'Y-Yeah... I gotta save Daisy!'

He adopted a more serious, determined expression, the same Mario often had when going to face Bowser. His shaky hands kinda ruined the look.

'Let's go, boy.'

'Woof!'

**Author Notes - E. Gadd's dialogue in the game goes on FOREVER, so I tried my best to cut it down as much as possible while retaining all the basic points. Com'on professor, I already love ma words. You're making it worse!**

**Did I make Hellen Gravely creepy enough? I wanna make her obsession with King Boo really, really creepy. Granted, it's creepy enough in the game, but I want to up it to Disney's Frollo levels.**

**By the way, with Polterkitty I'm trying to get her mannerisms to be akin to an actual cat. Mostly my own, the weirdo Tommy and the affectionate late Stanley. I love my boys, even if Stanley is long gone now. So if you know cat body language you might get my interpretation of her.**

* * *

_Princess Daisy's excitement could easily be seen due to it manifesting into her running so fast, you'd blink and miss her._

_What got her so excited was that she had been invited to the Mario Star Tennis tournament in the Mushroom Kingdom. Not only did she like sports, but it would be her first time in the kingdom. Finally, she could meet up back with her saviour Mario, and her best friend Princess Peach._

_As she dashed through the town populated by sentient fungi, most of them stared at her in shock. How could a princess move so... unladylike? Daisy didn't mind her 'not like other princesses' reputation. In fact, she loved it. There was nothing wrong with being a typical princess, but it just wasn't for her._

_She saw that grand white castle approaching her as she took to the nice dirt path, and was so focused on her destination that she barely paid attention to the road._

_'Ah! Look o-!'_

_Which was why she plowed right into a man who had been walking on the path himself, and who Daisy just barely saw before smacking into him._

_The two of them fell to the ground, a cloud of dust enveloping them._

_'Ow...' The man muttered._

_Daisy gasped, lifting her torso off the ground. 'Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I-'_

_Her words trailed off as she finally got a good look at the man. For a moment, she thought he was her saviour from the evil Tatanga, and she was about to freak out. Upon further inspection, however, she noticed that it wasn't quite the same guy. __This man was noticeably taller and skinnier, and though the outfit was very similar he wore green instead of red. Instead of an 'M', his cap read 'L'._

_'Are you... Mario's brother?' She asked._

_She heard nothing about Mario having a brother, but that was the only possibility with how similar he looked. He must not have been nearly as famous._

_He said nothing, and instead looked at her with half-closed eyes while breathing rather jerkily. It took her a little while to notice that he was just holding back a sneeze._

_And failing._

_'AH-CHOO!'_

_She didn't care at all that he just got spittle over her new tennis outfit. Upon hearing that delightfully weird sound, she began to giggle._

_'Oh my gosh! That had to be the funniest yet cutest sneeze I've ever heard!'_

_As if he weren't adorable enough, her remark made his cheeks redden more than the clothes of his apparent brother. Without even getting off the ground, he sheltered his eyes under his cap._

_'There you are, bro!'_

_With excellent timing, Mario arrived. So Daisy was right; they _were _brothers!_

_'Oh, hi Daisy!' He greeted. 'Should've known you'd arrive early.'_

_With no delay, the blushing man in green jumped to his feet and hid behind Mario. He lifted his cap up slightly to peek at her._

_'Go on, bro.' Mario said with a smile. 'Introduce yourself!'_

_Mario stepped to the side, as if knowing the man in green wouldn't move. Upon laying his eyes on Daisy, his blushing intensified. He gave a weak little wave, to which she returned._

_'Hi I'm Daisy!' She said, stepping a little closer. 'What's your name?'_

_He gulped, and muttered a few times too quietly for anyone to hear. After a while, he finally managed to speak._

_'L-Luigi...'_

_AND he had a skittish, nasally voice to boot? Now this guy was just perfection._

_'Luigi's a little shy.' Mario explained, giving the ultimate understatement._

_'And he's quite the cutie too!' She blurted out with no regrets._

_His entire face turned red. Then he fainted._


	5. Give Me Your Answer Goo

**Author Notes - For those awaiting for Daisy to return, you shall have your wish! Will she get her own Poltergust to use? Actually... no she won't. I'm doing something a little special for her.**

**You may have noticed I'm cutting down on a lot of the random ghost encounters. That's because writing the ghostbusting scenes get really tedious to write sometimes.**

**Alternative title for this chapter: Maid For Goo and Me. That was the original title, but the multilevel pun-itude in THIS title was too good to pass up.**

**Random note - tried a Luigi's Mansion 3 any% speedrun. In-game time was about 3 h 50 min. For my first attempt at doing this, I'm quite proud. Then I immediately tried it again. I shaved off 26 min. Wait, wait, I know how to do this... weird flex, but okay. Th-That's how it's done, right?**

**Thanks to** **rebelhunter7151 for the favourite and the follow! (Usually I only count the follows of those who haven't favourited).**

_**UPDATE 14/05/20 - Moved beginning flashback scene to end.**_

**CHAPTER FIVE - GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER GOO**

Thanks to the Dark-Light device revealing her imprint on the door, Luigi found the room Chambrea had disappeared into with ease. She skipped 505 and went straight for 504, the leftmost room in that hallway.

With the red luggage and golfing equipment - which included a golf club embedded through the chair - it had to be Soff T's room.

Chambrea floated above the bed, and this time she was ready. She glared right at Luigi, and held a golf club in her free hand. She swung it upwards as a form of intimidation, not afraid to use Luigi's head as a golf ball.

'Don't come near my briefcase!' She yelled. 'Or your head will be soaring with the eagles!'

And like in most situations like this, Luigi totally forgot about all that 'confidence' stuff and was reduced to his usual shivering mess.

'O-Okay, h-here's my deal again.' He said, approaching her slowly - each step he took made her wind up her club more. 'I'll let you go, if you give me that-'

'NEVER!'

He groaned. Polterpup growled, and leapt at her with his teeth bared. If he had to remove that briefcase by force, he would!

'Get away from my briefcase, you mangy mutt!'

_*WHACK*_

'_YIP!_'

Chambrea delivered a strike directly into Polterpup's chest.

'POLTERPUP!' Luigi cried, every part of his body going tense.

Polterpup slammed into the ground, and slid against the carpet. He lay still for a moment, before he leapt back onto his paws. Past the snarl, one could easily see his pained breaths. Luigi sighed in relief upon seeing his pet (relatively) okay. He glared back at Chambrea, giving her the same death glare he gave to opponents on the go-kart track.

She flinched. She, honest to goodness, flinched.

'Uh, uh...' She stammered, then cleared her throat. 'You can't defeat me! Not even the Poltergust can suck me up.'

He hated to admit it, but she was right. Though absolutely furious with her, he had to look past the anger clouding his judgement and focus on a possible way to defeat her. The shiny E. Gadd symbol on the briefcase inside her reflected the ceiling light, catching his attention. The proverbial pieces came together in his head.

_If I could plunger the suitcases, then maybe..._

He aimed the nozzle at the E. Gadd symbol, and fired. It passed right through her translucent skin, and nailed its target. She flinched again.

'Huh, what's this thing?' Chambrea questioned. 'Get it off my briefcase! It's the only thing I have!'

Wasting not a single second, Luigi ran over and got the plunger's rope into his Poltergust. Chambrea still didn't move at all, but she didn't need to.

She chuckled. 'We've been through this before, Green Boy. It won't work!'

He paid her no mind, and the moment the rope got tight he flung her into the air, over his shoulders and into the floor. If she had any air to knock out of her, she would've lost it all on impact.

'Owww!' She cried. 'That's not f-...!'

Luigi gave her no time to finish her sentence, and just slammed her against the carpet again, and again.

'If you just listened to me, you'd be free to go!'

He poured all of his strength into a great final whack.

'Nooooo!'

In slow motion it seemed, the briefcase came flying out of her body. She reached out for it as it soared, but it was no use. Luigi grabbed it in midair, and shoved it into his deep pocket. She was about to question how he did that, but realised she didn't care.

He released her from the plunger's hold. It took her several seconds to get back off the floor and look at him. Her angry look was gone, and sadness took its place.

'Why...?' She pleaded. 'Why did you take that from me? Ms Gravely gives me nothing. It was all I had!'

Luigi's own glare softened. The trembles in her voice sounded genuine. Between this and the bellhop, it made him wonder what Hellen Gravely was putting her workers through.

'Please, just give me my princess back.' He said, his voice just as weak. 'I _need_ her back.'

'What makes you think you deserve that more painting more than me?' She retorted, leering at him. 'You have a mansion, with that big L on it. I have to clean this entire hotel, top to bottom, and for what? Let me have SOMETHING!'

She turned around and phased through the wall to Room 505. Luigi's death stare returned.

'Hey! Get back here!'

It was the most angry he had sounded in years. Not a single shred of his usual cowardly demeanour could be heard. He was in such a rush to get back to that room, that he didn't notice Polterpup chasing _directly_ after that maid.

Room 505, which via process of elimination had to be Gus T's, clearly hadn't been finished yet. The wallpapers were tearing, there wasn't any carpet, and most of the furniture had tarps placed over them. Just Gus's luck to get the unfinished room.

Luigi barged on in, his body running on nothing but rage.

'Let Daisy go, you-!'

He did not expect to see Polterpup grabbing onto the portrait through Chambrea's body, and trying to pull it out directly. He gripped his paws into the floor, and seemed to be making slow but clear progress.

'Yeah, do it boy!' Luigi cheered, hiding the fact that he found the display quite horrific.

Chambrea tried - and utterly failed - to get him with the feather duster. How she wished she stayed in the other room...

'You stupid mutt! How could you obey someone like that Green Boy?!'

'Grrr...!'

'Hey, you leave my father out of this!'

After a few good yanks later, Polterpup ripped the portrait out of her stomach, bringing her face-first to the floor. He held it in his mouth like it was a bone. Chambrea barely reacted at all, aside from having a tantrum over losing her prize.

Luigi stood over her, looking down at her pleading face with his signature death stare. Despite how much bigger she was than him, he towered over her.

She pounded her fists on the floor like a spoiled child. 'I thought I'd like you Green Boy, but all you did was take away what little I got over decades of work!'

Luigi rolled his eyes. 'If you just gave me my stuff back, I wouldn't have done this.'

He was shocked by the words coming out of his own mouth. It seemed that coming to a loved one's defence can really change someone.

'You think I'm going to give up? I'm never going to give up. You hear me?!'

He decided to make it quick, and flashed her right in the eyes. Getting her tail into the Poltergust was just too easy now, and unlike before she was actually going down.

'Hey, this isn't fair! Get... get over here...!'

She tried her hardest to tickle his face with her duster, hoping it'd set her free again. Unfortunately for her, her arms were on full panic mode and flailed around aimlessly, getting nowhere near her target.

'I hate you, Green Boy! If I ever get out of your dusty vacuum, I swear, I'll-!'

She vanished without a trace.

'And good riddance!' Luigi yelled.

His anger went away along with the maid. And his fear, that he had ignored the whole time while it was building up, returned with a vengeance.

'AHHHH!' He screamed, for seemingly no reason.

He had to breathe slowly to calm himself down. It almost felt like someone had taken over his mind when he got angry.

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup caught his attention. The spectral hound pointed at the portrait leaning up against the bed upright. It snapped Luigi back into reality.

'D-Daisy!'

For a moment, he forgot about the Dark-Light. He fumbled his flashlight around, the sheer anxiety that overwhelmed him making any sort of calm movement impossible. Eventually, he shone the rainbow light upon the portrait containing his princess.

Even though it took the same amount of time as E. Gadd's reemergence, hers seemed to take forever. After what felt like an eternity, she was separated from the tapestry. She wobbled a bit before face-planting onto the ground.

He gasped. 'Daisy!'

Of course, he knew that she could survive a mere fall onto the ground. His heart was simply about to give out as it was.

She lifted her head up with the biggest smile on her face. 'Luigi!'

With no second thoughts she leapt to her feet, and pounced into a big tight hug. She held him like she could lose him again at any moment, which considering the situation she absolutely could. He could barely breathe, but the embrace was so warm he didn't care.

'Oh, Luigi! I knew the moment I saw you walk into the room that you would save me!'

Wait, so they _are_ conscious while in those portraits? That's... that's horrific! Uh, I mean... her excited statement seemed to confirm to Luigi that those in portraits were completely aware of what happened outside. And he chose to ignore that revelation.

'Y-You did?' Luigi stammered, losing oxygen fast.

'Of course! If anyone could save me from that maid, it was you.'

He felt his cheeks flaring up, contrasting with the rest of his air-starved face.

'Well, with everyone else captured, it wasn't like anyone else could do it.'

She intended this as nothing more but a little joke, knowing well that even Mario would've struggled with that neat freak worker.

'Oh...' Luigi said with many layers of disappointment.

Daisy's eyes widened. She broke up the hug - allowing Luigi to get oxygen at last - and guilt washed over her when she saw the defeat on his face.

'N-No, I-I mean...' Typical for her words to fail at the most important moment. 'You were great! You _are_ great! Maybe I should stop talking now.'

He chuckled. 'No. I like your voice.'

She laughed along with him. Polterpup entered the conversation by hopping up and down on his hindlegs. Daisy knelt down and stroke his head. He responded instantly by wagging his tail around wildly.

'Don't think I forgot about you, boy! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?'

To Luigi, the sight of his princess showing affection towards his puppy dog was the best that night. It allowed him to forget about the horror that surrounded him, and ignore the torment everyone was in.

Daisy, while still patting Polterpup, turned her head to Luigi. 'I couldn't believe it. You were _furious_ at that maid! I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before. And I've seen your death stares!'

'I-I was so worried about you.' He admitted. 'When I-I saw you in her stomach, and when she refused to let you free, I... I lost it.'

She smiled, more than incredibly grateful that her plumber (or 'boyfriend' as some liked to call him) cared for her that much.

She gasped and jumped back onto her feet, a movement quick enough to make Luigi flinch. 'The briefcase! That professor... um, what was his name again? Egon?'

'E. Gadd.'

'E. Gadd, right. He'll want that briefcase back, right? We gotta return it to him, right now!'

He was taken aback by just how suddenly she leapt into action again. Before he could object in any way, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the door.

'R-Right now?' He managed to say. 'B-But we just-'

She stopped pulling on him to give him a soft smile. It differed completely from her usual determined smirks.

'I know. We can spend time together when we bust these ghosts together.'

'W-Wait, what?'

'But that briefcase contains a key to saving our friends, I just know it! The longer we just chill here, the longer we spend in this Grambi-forsaken hotel. You understand, right?'

He gulped. 'Y-Yeah?'

'So let's get outta here!'

While Luigi appreciated her willingness to keep going - he definitely needed it - he was too caught up over her words to notice that she kept on dragging him along.

_'When we bust these ghosts together...'_

She didn't mean it, did she? Was she actually going to be throwing herself into this risk, by her own free will?

'Wait, I-I don't think that's a-'

'Why should you be alone when I'm here? When I get my hands on those ghosties, I'm telling ya, they'll wish they never messed with this princess!'

Right on cue, three Goobs emerged through the door just as Daisy was reaching for it, and fanned out. Luigi jumped back with a yelp, but Daisy didn't even flinch. All three wore little maid hats and held a duster.

The middle ghost laughed. 'Well well well, look at this, girls.' She said, putting her hands on her 'hips'. 'The green guy thinks he's all confident just cos he caught our boss.'

The other two ghosts giggled, as if laughing at the very thought of the green guy being 'confident'.

'And look!' The middle continued, pointing at Daisy. 'He somehow landed himself a girlfriend! I never thought he could even _talk_ to girls.'

To her surprise, her friends didn't laugh alongside with her. They instead stared at Daisy, one in shock and the other in fear.

'What?' The middle Goob said, glancing at her friends. 'Why aren't you two laughing?'

'Uh, Gina...' The shocked one said, scratching the back of her head. 'Not to make us all panic or anything, but that princess there-'

'Aren't we meant to make sure she's still in the portrait?!' The third one yelled.

The middle ghost, Gina, blinked at Daisy a few times. After a few seconds, she slammed her hands into her face many, many times.

'Stupid stupid stupid! Chambrea ATE the dang portrait. How did she lose it?!' She growled and glared at the princess. 'I'll go for the green guy. Grace, go for the princess. Glenda, go for the briefcase.'

The scared one, Grace, gulped and did as her 'leader' commanded. She flew over to the princess, who stood her ground with her fists ready.

'Ha!' Daisy declared. 'As if I'd be afraid of a harmless little-'

She blinked, and found that the Goob had a grip on her shoulders. A fairly strong grip at that, even though Grace looked completely horrified. Daisy wiggled about, but the blue hands were clamped on her.

'Hey! Let go of me, you heap of ectoplasm!'

'Y-Yeah?' Grace stuttered. 'W-What are ya g-gonna do to me?'

Daisy smirked. 'Better question is, what are _you_ gonna do to _me_?'

'Uh... s-something.'

Gina would've told Grace to get her act together, but she was too focused on Luigi. While in an invisible form she floated around him, waiting for the time to strike. If it wasn't for that ghost dog tracking her every movement, she would've latched onto him by now.

'I-I'll be over there, Daisy.' Luigi said.

'Don't fret about me. I'm not going anywhere!'

Luigi suddenly found himself quite a bit lighter. He saw the third Goob, Glenda, holding onto the briefcase. How she grabbed it from his pocket was beyond mortal comprehension.

'H-Hey!' He said. 'Give that back!'

Glenda pretended he wasn't there, and focused on her prize. 'Wait, why was Chambrea keeping hold of this again?'

With a groan, Luigi fired a plunger at the E. Gadd symbol once again. Before Glenda could even guess what was going on, he got a grip on the rope and plunged the briefcase right out of her hands.

'Hey!'

Gina growled to herself. 'Just let me hurt you, you stupid green ar- OW!'

She creaked her head around, and saw Polterpup biting her tail. Those teeth could rip apart even the strongest of steaks.

'And THIS is why Ms Gravely prefers cats!' She yelled, pointing at him.

The briefcase went flying, just barely missing Daisy as it soared past her face. It slammed into the floor in front of her feet, and the force of impact opened it up. A couple objects bounced out of it.

Daisy's eyes widened. The objects were metallic gloves that called her name. Though they were grey, they had a green sheen. Better yet, they were a perfect fit. She had to don them.

She didn't even know why. Was it because they looked cool? Or because she figured they may help her bust ghosts? She just needed them.

Though they were right at her feet, she couldn't reach down with Grace on her shoulders. So, she simply slipped one onto her foot, and kicked it into her hand. She put it on, and despite its metallic exterior it felt comfortable on her skin.

'Yeah!'

She kicked the other one into her grasp, and now donned both the mechanical gloves. They were definitely a lot better than her regular princess-y gloves. The lights on each finger turned on, glowing different colours. A strange energy pulsed through her arms like electricity through a copper wire.

'Whoa...'

Luigi just got done busting Glenda while Polterpup was taking care of Gina. He aimed his flashlight to suck up Gina, but the green glistening of the gloves distracted him.

'Daisy!' He pleaded. 'What are you doing going through the professor's stuff?'

She rolled her eyes. 'These just landed at my feet, okay?'

'But it's still the professor's! You can't-'

Gina got sick of these mortals and their inane banter, flicked Polterpup away, and socked Luigi in the back while he was occupied. He dropped to the floor, his flashlight falling out of his hand. He groaned as his chest slammed into the ground.

'Luigi!' Daisy cried.

She struggled against Grace's grip, but even the anger she felt couldn't break her free from the grasp of a spirit.

'P-Please stop that.' Grace whimpered.

Daisy gritted her teeth. 'Get your spindly arms OFF ME!'

She delivered a punch directly to the Goob's face. Had she been thinking, she'd know that punching a ghost would be completely ineffective. Something ethereal like a ghost simply couldn't be punched.

In most situations.

Her fist made contact with Grace. Both could feel the impact, though for the ghost it was far more painful. Grace floated far back, rubbing her cheek.

'T-That wasn't very nice...'

Daisy gave Grace her own death stare, and while it wasn't as good as Luigi's it certainly terrified the timid ghost. With one squeak of a scream, she flew into the ceiling faster than one can blink.

Luigi stared with his mouth agape. 'Did... did you just...?'

Gina scooped her hands under his underarms, and lifted him up off the ground. His legs dangled and flailed around. The nozzle of the Poltergust rested on the floor, far beyond his reach.

'Listen to me, green guy.' Gina whispered in his ear. 'Cos of my useless friends, Ms Gravely will be furious with me. So you better let me hand you in, alright?'

Luigi's teeth chattered too much for him to speak. With all the buttons to the Poltergust out of his reach, he couldn't do a thing to her.

And Daisy wasn't going to stand for it. She jumped behind Gina, and grabbed the tip of her tail. Instead of her hands passing through harmlessly, getting nothing but ectoplasm all over her, it was no less solid than squeezing a bunch of rolled up socks.

Gina let go of Luigi, and he plummeted to the floor. He landed on his knees, and looked up to the blue ghost above him. Gina cartwheeled her arms like a olympic freestyle swimmer, her body only stretching as she tried and failed to get away.

'How...?' She said. 'How can you do that?!'

Daisy yanked her in. 'I dunno, but I ain't complaining about it!'

With the ghost in her hands, she imitated exactly what she saw Luigi do; she heaved Gina into the air, and bashed her against the wooden floorboards.

'H-How...?' Luigi couldn't come up with anything more.

Daisy did exactly as she saw Luigi do, and continued to slam the Goob until she... vanished. Not into the Poltergust, or turning invisible. Gina's very molecules broke apart and dissipated into nothingness.

'Warn your little ghosty pals that what just happened to you will happen to them if they come near my Luigi!' Daisy yelled at the vanishing particles.

Said Luigi was still on the floor, his mouth wide open. Not at the princess's awesome display, of course; he was used to her performing acts of awesomeness. It was the simple fact that she punched the unpunchable.

His eyes glittered as they fell upon the devices she wore on her hands. 'Those gloves... they let you touch ghosts...'

He couldn't believe E. Gadd's inventing talent sometimes. What was that guy doing in solitude when he could be helping (and making) millions with his inventions? Yes, they could pat Polterpup, but that was only because he allowed them to touch him. Any other ghost was out of question.

Daisy marvelled the gloves and their odd green sheen. 'Niiice! And here I thought I might be dead weight.'

Luigi finally got off the ground, and was about to tell her that she could never be dead weight when the shine of the briefcase caught his attention. It was still open, and something green inside it reflected the light. With a yelp, he ran over to it and slammed the lid shut.

Daisy pouted. 'Oh come on. I gotta know what that was!'

He shoved it into his pocket. 'It's the professor's stuff. It could be dangerous if handled wrong.'

She wanted to argue with him, but saving her friends came first. Plus, arguing with her Luigi did not sound appealing.

'Well, then let's get it back to E. Gadd as soon as possible, eh?'

* * *

'Wait, where are all the buttons?' Daisy asked, seeing all the holes in the wall.

'Taken.' Luigi said, nice and to the point.

She couldn't quite believe it. Only three buttons remained: 1, 5, and B1.

'That doesn't give us a whole lot of options, does it now?' She remarked. 'It's either the place we're at already, a lobby that gives us nothing, or the basement that's connected to the lobby anyway.'

'The bellboy had a couple buttons.' Luigi said. 'But I don't think the maid...'

The Poltergust nozzle, which had been hooked back into the Poltergust itself, began rattling. It started off small, but grew progressively intense.

Daisy stepped back. 'Is it supposed to do that?'

'N-No.' Luigi muttered.

Watching it in the mirror, he braced for anything to pop back out again, half-expecting Chambrea to re-emerge and suffocate him with dust some more. Daisy got her armed fists ready.

An elevator popped out of the rattling nozzle, and hovered in the air. The rattling stopped almost instantly. Luigi sighed in relief. Daisy slumped her shoulders in disappointment, until she realised what the hovering object was.

'Hey, that maid did have a button. You gotta-'

It flew over Luigi's head, spun itself around in the air, and locked into place as the key to floor number three.

'Oh yeah!' He said.

Daisy grinned. 'Nice!'

According to the floor tracker, it was the hotel shops. Judging by the map, it seemed to be rather simple. Thank goodness.

'Aight, let's get going!' Daisy said.

Luigi shook his head. 'We have to return the professor's briefcase first.'

She wanted to complain and argue with him again, but honestly, she just wanted to know what was in that briefcase and why E. Gadd wanted it so badly.

'Well? Let's get going!'

* * *

Luigi felt awkward in the elevator. The basement couldn't arrive soon enough. He could feel Daisy watching him, awaiting any sort of response, even as he stared at Polterpup, who was rolling around on the floor.

'Luigi...' Daisy said, in a way that cannot be described in any way but seductively. 'You may pretend but I'll always be here.'

He gulped, and turned to look her in the eye. The moment his eyes met hers, he froze. If only looking people in the eye didn't make him lock up.

'S-Sorry.' He stuttered.

She giggled. 'For what?'

He played with his hands for a bit, glancing around. It hadn't yet sunk in that he saved his beloved princess, and with how long he had spent with her captured it was something he had trouble comprehending.

'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.

As much as he didn't want to, he stared at her. He looked her up and down, letting the fact that she was standing in front of him properly sink in. Daisy would've objected, but allowed him to do whatever he was doing.

Tears came to his eyes. It finally sunk in.

'Daisy!'

She flinched, blinking a couple times. Giving her no time to react, he ran over and jumped into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms around her like his life depended on it, tears flowing down his cheeks.

She went stiff. 'Whoa! Where did this come from?'

Whenever he did something she found weird, she remembered what Mario told her about him when she and Luigi first met. It certainly explained a few things.

'I-I can't believe it...' Luigi uttered. 'Y-You're here with me.'

And adorably simple sentences filled with heart like that were why Daisy loved him so much. Unable to resist, she returned the hug. The both of them could feel Polterpup rubbing up against their legs.

'That's right, sweetie.' Daisy said, patting his back. 'And I'll beat the ectoplasm outta any ghost that tries to seperate us again!'

The elevator came to a stop, and the doors opened. They didn't notice. The embrace was too good to break up.

'Arf arf!'

'Dah!' Luigi cried, flinching out of the hug.

Polterpup sat in the open doors, panting in anticipation for his owner to follow him. He proceeded to waltz off, assuming his owner would go after him immediately.

Luigi cleared his throat, his cheeks turning red. 'Uh, let's-a get going now.'

'I'll follow you anywhere!'

* * *

'Welcome back, Luigi!' E. Gadd greeted the moment the plumber entered the lab. 'And who's that missy behind you? One of your friends, I assume?'

Daisy walked in after her plumber, and waved at the professor. 'Oh, so you're the professor that Luigi's told me so much about. Nice to meet ya! ... I think.'

E. Gadd adjusted his glasses upon getting a good look of her, and chuckled. 'Ah, you must be Luigi's girlfriend! He talks about you a lot.'

Luigi's cheeks proverbially exploded into red, and Daisy's resulting giggling just made the colour more intense.

'Professor!' He whined like a kid embarrassed by his parents, making Daisy laugh more. 'I... I haven't even told you about her! How do you know that?'

'The cameras I have in your bedroom, of course! I must say sonny, you write beautiful love poems.'

He turned redder than his brother's hat. He couldn't even care about the revelation that E. Gadd had cameras in his room. Unable to bare it anymore, he lifted his cap over his eyes while slightly praying a sink hole would swallow him up.

'Is that true, Luigi?' Daisy asked between giggles. 'You write poetry about me?'

He nodded weakly. 'You weren't supposed to find out...'

By the by, his poems are beautiful, if sometimes filled with questionable rhymes. There's only so many times one can rhyme 'Daisy' with 'crazy'.

E. Gadd stopped laughing as he remembered the matter at hand. 'Oh, forget about the poetry. My briefcase, chop-chop!'

Most of Luigi's blushing went away as he pulled out the briefcase from his pocket with a smile - smiling because he was just _relieved_ to be moving on from the poems.

'Heh heh heh!' E. Gadd said, rubbing his hands together like a villain. 'This is what I wanted!'

Daisy crossed her arms and huffed. 'What? Not even a thank you? Luigi had to fight against some crazy maid ghost to-!'

She stopped when Luigi held his arm out in front of her. 'Don't.' He said. 'It's not important.'

Though she wanted to dig into E. Gadd further, the sweet smile that came her way convinced her to be quiet.

E. Gadd opened up the lid, basking in the glorious green light. 'The time has come to use it in battle!'

Both Luigi and Daisy leaned forward in curiosity.

'The latest invention from the brilliant mind of Professor E. Gadd! I give you...'

Finally, he pulled out the object that he had so desperately wanted back. The now-empty briefcase fell to the floor as he held up his invention for all to see. And it was...!

A glass case bigger than his body containing some weird green goop. Okay then.

'Gooigi!' He declared like he invented the lightbulb.

Luigi and Daisy, to the say the least, had no idea how to react to this. Luigi stared at it totally dumbfounded, trying to process the fact that - after all that build-up - he had been presented with slime.

'Welp, E. Gadd's finally lost it.' Daisy said, turning around. 'Come on Luigi. Let's get out of here!'

E. Gadd laughed. 'Don't underestimate the power of Gooigi! The development process was a real challenge, to say the least. Fortunately, I had a little help from someone to test the prototype!'

He looked at the confused Luigi as he emphasised 'someone', which just made him even more confused.

He never helped E. Gadd with a 'Gooigi prototype'. Or did he? Vague memories of a gooey green counterpart came back to him, mostly consisting of the two of them capturing the portrait ghosts. But he also had memories of capturing those same portrait ghosts without that gooey counterpart.

Which ones were real?

'Don't fret about it too much, sonny.' E. Gadd said. 'That's just the result of time-travelling shenanigans.'

'Wait, time-travelling what n-?' He tried to question.

'That's great and all.' Daisy said, rejoining the scene. 'But how in the great depths of the Underwhere is that, um, goo going to help us out at all?'

She had a closer look at the stuff, and still didn't get it. At all. At best it would make a fine lubricant.

'Now, now. Take it easy.' E. Gadd continued. 'Here, Luigi! I'm going to attach this to the Poltergust G-00. Turn around for me, would you?'

Luigi, having no idea what else to do, followed his orders, turning around so his Poltergust was directly in front of the professor. E. Gadd attached the end of the glass case to the empty container on the back of the Poltergust.

'Quick warning, you might feel a weird tingling.' E. Gadd explained. 'It's perfectly normal, so don't worry about it.'

'A tingli-? Ooo...'

E. Gadd injected all of the slime into the glass container, filling it up completely. The 'tingling' coursed through Luigi's every vein, feeling like a spa worker got him in just the right spot.

'Good.' E. Gadd said. 'That tingling feeling means it's working. That's the goo connecting to your consciousness.'

Luigi turned his head to him. 'Um, connecting to my what now?'

E. Gadd gave his creation a good pat. 'And it's all set. Let's practice a bit. Follow me outside!'

* * *

Hellen Gravely growled in disgust, the very thought of that maid alone leaving a sour taste in her mouth. Only by stroking Polterkitty, who per her orders now slept in her lap, did she managed to stop herself from getting angry enough to cause _it_ to happen.

'That useless, _useless_ maid!' She yelled. 'And she wonders why I never paid her! Why did I trust her with that portrait? Why am I trusting _anyone_ with the portraits?! My entire staff is absolutely useless!'

In her rage, her nails dug into Polterkitty's skin far deeper than she intended, scratching the feline's back like a tiger.

'MROW!' Polterkitty cried out in pain.

Polterkitty forget about the order, and ran off to her bed in the corner. She curled her body up, purring to help ease the pain.

Hellen gasped. 'Oh, my sweet little Polterkitty! Why do you run away after a little accident? You know I would never do that to you on purpose.'

The spectral cat looked up at her with wide eyes. For a reason she couldn't explain, she had trouble believing that last claim.

* * *

**_CHAMBREA, THE KLEPTOMANIAC MAID_**

_AGE - 54_

_GENDER - Female_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Mesothelioma_

_Chambrea works as a maid just to keep her neat freak nature in check. Her constant exposure to dust did wonders for her lungs, as you can tell. Due to Ms Gravely never paying her, she's developed quite the kleptomaniac nature in an attempt to compensate herself for her hard work._

* * *

**Author Notes - Oh, Gooigi! What fun it is to come up with your own unique interpretation as to how you work! This chapter originally included the 'tutorial' (of which I changed up quite a bit), but things were getting too long. As usual. This chapter and the next had to be further divided into three because writing concise is impossible for me.**

**I like what I did with Chambrea, but not quite as much as Steward. Regardless, the idea behind the 'kleptomaniac' nature came out of nowhere, as usual. Anything I can do to apply darker interpretations of these loveable goofs.**

**I also really like Grace, for someone whose personality (say it with me now) came out of nowhere. We will almost definitely be seeing her again.**

**Slightly-unrelated, I very recently realised that I'm a fan of Star Wars. Not a BIG fan, but a fan nonetheless. So now, the dynamic between Luigi and Polterpup will be intentionally based on that of C-3PO and R2-D2. Granted, I think I was doing that already, but will now do so intentionally.**

* * *

_E. Gadd loved the taste of his Lunoman Greenie blend, made from the Lunoman beans found only in Evershade Valley and even better than the drinks from the Starbeans Café. It helped him for when the work nights continued far later than he intended. Science stopped for nothing! Certainly not for sleep!_

_He had spent all night working on his newest experiment - this strange liquid that he collected from the friendly ghosts. He knew this liquid was the key to many great inventions, but the darn stuff wouldn't do anything!_

_He exposed it to both heat and cold, he poked it with iron, he poured it on rubber, and he even dipped his donut in it! Nothing seemed to do anything._

_After hours of no progress, he downed half of his coffee in an attempt to get his brilliant brain going. He tapped his fingers on the desk while peering at the liquid he had stored in a vial._

_'I must be missing something!' He said. 'I know this odd liquid can do something. I just know it! I just gotta find the right-'_

_'BOO!'_

_'Whoa!'_

_A Hider had snuck up behind him, and spooked him just for the laughs, laughs she was having at that very moment. After E. Gadd recovered from his near-heart attack, he spun his chair around and looked at the giggling ghost with a grin._

_'Hanna, I thought I made it clear that I do not like ghosts spooking me while I'm concentrating.'_

_'I know, I know. But it's just so fun! Scaring people is just what ghosts d... uh, is it supposed to do that?'_

_E. Gadd looked back to his vial of liquid, to see that the stuff was now glowing. The previously clear energy turned a bright green almost instantly as his spilled coffee mixed into it._

_'Egad!' He cried._

_Hanna slinked away. 'Did... did I ruin it?'_

_'Ruin it? Not at all! I can't believe I never thought to simply pour my coffee into it. I gotta write this all down...!'_

_He grabbed his clipboard and got to jotting down notes. Before his eyes, the green ghost energy stabilised and turned to a semi-solid form. __Without delay, he poured a few drops of the new creation into his hand. It seeped through his fingers and onto his desk, before it reformed into a singular puddle._

_'I can't believe it... it stabilised into a new element! I shall name this new element...'_

_Looking at the gooey substance once again, the name was a no-brainer._

_'Goo!'_

_To commemorate his accidental breakthrough, he ran over to his periodic table of elements, and slapped on a new green sticker. Symbol - G._

_And through all his experiments with Goo (and a couple near-death experiences) he had the perfect name for his coffee-flavoured creation._

_'Gooigi!'_


	6. Shop Till You Drop Dead

**Author Notes - ****I think I get how I wanna do the boss fights now. I'll attempt to retain the basics of the fight while adding my own stuff to it. ****Since a lot of the bosses have 'phases' (the portrait-guarding ghosts and the Twisted Sisters especially), I'll likely cut it down to just one phase and do something else. **

**Amadeus Wolfgeist, for example, may be my favourite boss fight in the game but his final stage involves repeating the same thing three times. Fun as hell in-game, not so much in a story. ****Speaking of repetition, certain parts of the game that are a little bit repetitive (like the multiple stores in the Hotel Shops) might be culled or skimmed over.**

**Oh, and those flashback scenes at the beginning of each chapter? I'm moving them to right at the very end, after my ending notes. That way, those who don't care for details that don't fully connect to narrative can get straight to the story, while those who like reading about the backstories can still read them.**

**And remember when I said something about Luigi and Polterpup and the ****_Star Wars_**** droids? Okay, let me correct that: Luigi in ****_general_**** will be drawing inspiration from C-3PO. By the way, can you tell who my favourite ****_Star Wars_**** character is? INB4 the story turns into a _Star Wars_ parody.**

**On another note, I really like my chapter titles for some reason.**

**Thanks to Almond-Walnut and Coolkidwriter97 for the favourites!**

**CHAPTER SIX - SHOP TILL YOU DROP DEAD**

'Uh, professor, when did you-?'

'No time for questions sonny! Just step into that marked area, both of you.'

Somehow, in the span it took them to get through the door, E. Gadd had managed to set up a... thing involving a pulley system. A cage hung from the ceiling over the aforementioned marked rectangular, and the cables that ran from it and across the ceiling connected it to a spinning wheel. The cage made Luigi gulp while Daisy questioned its existence, but they followed E. Gadd's instructions and stood in the yellow square, while Polterpup watched from the sidelines.

'Now what?' Luigi asked.

E. Gadd held a remote that he pulled out from nowhere, pressed the big red button on it...

***CRASH***

And the cage slammed into the ground, trapping our duo within it. The crashing sound echoed throughout the entire carpark.

'Whoa!' Daisy cried. 'What the-?!'

Luigi yelped. One second, he was free. The next, steel bars surrounded him on every side. He ran to one of the sides and squeezed as much of his face as he could through the bars, giving a pleading look to E. Gadd on the other side. The professor just laughed at him.

'W-W-Why? B-But I-I-I-I...'

'Heh heh heh!' E. Gadd said, rubbing his hands together like a thief. 'I've caught you both in my trap!'

Luigi held onto the bars with his shaking hands, seconds away from breaking down. Daisy ran her fingers through his hair that stuck out from under his cap - a technique that would never fail - and glared at the laughing professor.

'Ya know, I'd be laughing with you,' She said. 'If you didn't drag Luigi through this too.'

Polterpup stood behind E. Gadd, growling at him with all of his teeth bared. Any moment now and he'd make an exception to that 'never bite friends' rule.

E. Gadd just laughed again, but this time more playfully than maliciously. 'Oh, don't worry, Luigi! I'm just kidding!'

Luigi sighed in relief, and _mostly_ forgave him. Polterpup stopped growling and, waiting to make sure the professor wasn't going to do anything else, backed away, but the dirty look remained.

'But I am going to need you to stay locked up.'

'_What?!_ Why?' Luigi and Daisy exclaimed at once.

E. Gadd laughed once again. 'Because I want you to use Gooigi to try to escape from your cell!'

Daisy peered very closely at the goop, so close that her nose touched the glass. Up that close, she saw the swirly and pulsating patterns inside. As stupid as this 'Gooigi' was, it looked pretty cool.

'Um, so...' She said. 'Do we lather ourselves with the stuff and squeeze through, or...?'

'Of course not!' E. Gadd said, before he looked dead at Luigi. 'Okay, what I'm about to say will sound weird, but I want you to pay full attention.'

Luigi, along for the ride at this point, nodded.

'Alright. I want you to imagine that you are that goo in your Poltergust.'

Both the entrapped heroes blinked at him in total confusion. Daisy leaned forward and whispered in Luigi's ear.

'I'll distract him while you run.'

'Run? Run where? We're in a cage.'

'Luigi, I am serious.' E. Gadd said in an appropriately serious tone. 'Imagine that you are Gooigi.'

With a sigh, Luigi closed his eyes and 'imagined that he was Gooigi', wondering what he was on about. He focused on that vat on his back, and tried his hardest to imagine he was the goo.

Every nerve in his body winced, just a bit. Somehow, he felt as though he was trapped further, crushed inwards by glass walls that surrounded him. Yet, at the same time, he felt no more trapped than he was before. A bizarre sensation to be sure.

'Feeling cramped, sonny?' E. Gadd asked.

Luigi nodded, his eyes shut tight.

'There you go! We're making progress faster than I ever would've expected. Okay, now relax your mind and try to push yourself out of your glass container. Believe me, this process will be much smoother after the first time.'

Daisy grunted, and shook the bars that contained her, the lights on the gloves glowing an extra bit brighter. 'GAH! This is ridiculous! How are we supposed to stop Ms Gravely and King Boo if you won't-?!'

E. Gadd held his hands up. 'Now now. I can assure you, there is a method to my madness. Just wait.'

The princess groaned, and decided to give the professor one more chance before she busted through the bars herself.

Luigi imagined himself squeezing his body out of the tiny hole at the bottom of the glass box he felt himself trapped it.

Then, by some miracle, it worked. He could feel himself falling out through the hole, and popping out onto the floor.

'AHHHH!' Daisy screamed. 'Oh! Oh. You're just asleep. O-Okay.'

His eyes were wide open - though he was sure he had them closed - and saw his princess standing in front of him. Except, just one little thing was off - why was absolutely everything green all of a sudden? His entire body felt jiggly, like jelly. And where did... literally all of his body's systems go?

Daisy's eyes widened. 'AAAHHHHH! Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH! What the Minus World is that?!'

Her panicked breathing got far more heavy than it ever had before. Luigi couldn't move his arm in any way than he wanted to, aside from grabbing his flashlight. He had so many things he wanted to say. Tell her not to be scared. Ask her what she was so terrified of. Say that she has no reason to be freaking out.

'_Daisy?_' His voice came out higher-pitched and like it came through a water-logged speaker.

_Huh? That's it? I... why was that all that came out?_

He reached out to comfort her...

Wait, was that _his_ arm, that translucent green appendage in front of him?

He looked closer at his jelly hand. 'Huh?'

Daisy, pinning herself against the wall of the cage, pointed behind him. 'T-Turn around.'

His body obeyed this particular order, and upon turning around he saw _himself_. Like he was looking directly into a green-filtered mirror. Except his body hung his head and arms like he was asleep while standing up.

_Oh my gosh? What? Huh?! How am I...? But I... why is...?_

Thoughts raced through his mind like nothing. And all that came out of it was a simple:

'_Oh_.'

Daisy stepped around the gummy-bear Luigi that stood in front of her, and looked to E. Gadd again. He seemed a little too proud of this.

'I-I see I underestimated your creation.' She said. 'Now, do you care to explain WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!'

'I'll gladly explain, princess!' E. Gadd said, pacing around. 'Luigi transferred most of his consciousness over to his personal assistant, Gooigi!'

'Excuse me?!'

Luigi, in the body of Gooigi, tapped the arm of his unconscious body. It felt as if he were a ghost, looking at his deceased body.

'It's part of the brilliant Poltergust G-00. Now, I built it around _my_ body, which as you can see is much smaller than Luigi's, so he has just barely retained a little of his own consciousness, but I predict nothing more than simple thumbs-ups.'

'Uh... okay? Can he return to his normal body?'

'What do you take me for? Since anyone inside Gooigi is incapable of expressing anything beyond blank stares and statements no matter how extreme the outside stimuli is, being stuck in his body would be a detriment! But we'll get to that later.'

Luigi couldn't quite believe it. Gooigi's body felt like his own, only gooier. It moved to his mind naturally, like he wasn't in an entirely different vessel while looking in horror at his own mostly-unconscious body.

'Gooigi can slip through tight spaces, like grates or vents. His body is incredibly soft and malleable. It's really quite amazing! Go out! See for yourself!'

The plumber held his arm out and pushed it through one of the metal bars. Though it took a bit of might, it managed to pass through. The bar tore a hole through the gooey material, but the arm reformed quicker than his eyes could see.

'_Huh_.'

Finally getting it, he pressed his entire body against the bars. After a few seconds of forcing himself through, his gooey body got past without a problem.

'_Cool_.'

E. Gadd clapped. 'Oh Luigi, you are such a fast learner! Now, just use your Poltergust on this wheel, and you and Daisy shall be freed.'

Luigi grabbed his gelatin vacuum, and to his relief it functioned exactly like the real one; he didn't want to even begin to question how. Air flowed from the nozzle, and spun the wheel. As it rotated, it pulled on the rope and slowly lifted up the cage.

Daisy ran out from under the rising cage with a smile. 'You did it Luigi! Whatever it was you did!' She turned to E. Gadd. 'So how does he get back in his body?'

'I was just about to explain that. Now Luigi, while still using the Poltergust, imagine going back to your own body.'

Luigi did as he was instructed, and unlike his experiences with getting into Gooigi this transfer happened without a sweat. His head rose back up again, and he could see Gooigi still using his Poltergust on the wheel.

'As you can see,' E. Gadd continued to explain. 'If you're using the Poltergust when you switch between yourselves, you will continue to use it without being controlled!'

Luigi walked up to his gooey counterpart, and tapped its shoulder. It was just like poking a gummy bear. He leaned in and sniffed the green skin.

'Coffee?'

The rope above him continued to move, until the wheel couldn't be turned any further. It dislodged some dust in the ceiling, which promptly fell onto Luigi and scattered into a cloud. The particles made his nose sting.

'Gah! ... _Ah_...'

E. Gadd pressed another, smaller button on his remote. This caused the cage to compact into a much tinier and completely solid box to collect later.

'Wow.' Daisy said. 'That was... not at all what I was expecting.'

The sting got worse. '_Ahhh_...'

'I consider it one of my greatest inventions!' E. Gadd declared. 'And considering my track record, that's really saying something.'

Luigi really struggled to fight this one. '_AHHH_...!'

'Of course, Gooigi is not without his weaknesses.' The professor said with some regret. 'Weaknesses that I nearly died trying to solve. And I mean that. One of his most prominent weaknesses is-'

'_AHHH-**CHOOO!**_'

Luigi's sneeze finally tore its way through his throat. Spittle flew out of his mouth at high speeds and splashed onto Gooigi. The moment the spray of saliva made contact with his green skin, Gooigi dissolved and sunk into a green puddle on the ground.

'AH!' Luigi yelped, so scared at what just happened that he didn't notice the goo returning to his Poltergust.

'Oh my gosh!' Daisy cried.

E. Gadd, upon witnessing this accidental murder, just laughed. Because he's a freaking sociopath, I swear.

'So Luigi, do you know what just happened?'

The green-clad plumber stared at where Gooigi had stood. 'Um... I-I sneezed and killed him?'

'Not quite. You see it, Daisy?'

Daisy noticed what he meant almost immediately. The Poltergust was filled with goo once again.

'As I was trying to explain, Gooigi's greatest weakness is that contact with water - or saliva in this case - makes his molecules... um, it's complicated, but the goo scatters and loses its form. Afterwards, it returns right to the Poltergust G-00 to be used again. I tried to fix it, but... after goo hardens over your face you have to learn that some things are just impossible.'

Indeed. Even though he had witnessed Gooigi's 'death', he could still feel him in the back of the Poltergust. Part of his consciousness was still connected to him.

'And that's your training done!' E. Gadd said, looking at an imaginary watch. 'I must say, you learned far quicker than I expected. Regardless, we've wasted too much time. So... get going!'

He pushed Luigi out the door, quite literally. After all, we've spent enough time here and we gotta move on. Now. Daisy ran after him, and after E. Gadd got the _professional_ ghostbuster through the door, he turned to her with a grin.

'And don't think I didn't notice my Phantasma-Gloves.'

'Oh, so that's what these are called! You mean the gloves that let me touch ghosts and disintegrate them into nothing?'

She marvelled at their bizarre green shine once again. The very sight of those bad boys on her hands made her feel like an action hero.

'The exact ones! Just one thing you got wrong there. It's impossible to completely destroy a ghost, hence why my usual method captures them instead. After you slam them into the ground enough times, their molecules break apart and reform somewhere else. The good thing is, once a ghost reforms it's unlikely they'll want to mess with you again.'

'Niiice!'

'Indeed.'

...

'Well? What are you doing? Go after your boyfriend, posthaste!'

* * *

Daisy leaned up against the elevator wall and groaned. 'If we're going to the shops, let's make this quick. I **hate** shopping...'

Luigi gave her a look. She didn't _love_ shopping, but she certainly didn't _hate_ it either. Going to the mall with Peach was one of her favourite pastimes. He didn't bother asking what that was about; he doubt he'd understand anyway.

He tapped his fingers together, struggling to deal with the fears in his head.

'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.

The question made him jump. He breathed in and out slowly, and put his full attention on her, debating the best possible way to go about this.

'Um, Daisy... are you sure you wanna join me? It could be dangerous.'

He mentally facepalmed. It sounded so condescending! He made it seem like he didn't have any faith in her, like he thought she was nothing more than a damsel in distress.

'Sorry.' He said, before she could say anything.

To his surprise, she giggled. 'For what? Being worried about my safety? I get it. I've been free for, what? Ten minutes? I'd be worried too! But I won't be jumping into any portraits again. Promise.'

She placed her hand over her heart. The buttons blinked in order, like the Phantasma-Gloves detected her pure heart telling the truth.

'And if I'm lying,' She continued. 'May Lady Rosalina strike me down with a falling star!'

Luigi chuckled, relieved that for once his poor choice of words didn't destroy a relationship.

* * *

'_Okay Officer Kruller_,' Charles's voice came over the walkie talkie on the officer's belt. '_If you see that green guy, lock him up immediately. Got it?_'

The titular Officer Kruller, an overweight purple ghost wearing police uniform, ignored the order coming through to him as he paced around the top floor of the hotel shops. He had a flashlight in his hand, and he strutted (without legs, impressively enough) with confidence.

'_Officer Kruller?_' Charles's voice came again.

Kruller hummed a little tune to himself, blissfully unaware of the guy trying to talk to him.

'_Oh for goodness... PAUL!_'

'AHH!'

He yelped and flinched. His flashlight bounced around in his hands until he managed to get his grip on it again.

'Uh, um, I...' He cleared his throat, and spoke much more boldly. 'Officer Kruller, hearin' you loud an' clear, over!'

Charles sighed. '_Just look out for the stupid green guy. Got it?_' Just quietly enough so the cop couldn't hear, he muttered, '_Ya bloody moron..._'

Kruller shone his flashlight across the entire top floor. Leaning over the guard rails, he took a quick glance across the bottom floor too.

'Everythin's clear on my side. Over!'

* * *

These elevator rides were something else. No matter what, they always stretched the boundary between too long and too short. And Luigi really didn't like it.

Simultaneously too early and too late, the doors opened up to the new floor. Luigi stood up against the wall, and peeked his head past it while darting his flashlight back and forth. His breathing relaxed; no ghosts to be seen. Yet.

'O-Okay.' He said. 'We're safe.'

He exited the shaft very, very slowly. Daisy rolled her eyes, and passed him by the time he took his first step. Polterpup, on the other hand, stood by his side no matter how long it took him to move.

Daisy sighed in exasperation. 'Oh come on, Luigi. What're you so scared of?'

'O-Oh, nothing at all.' He gulped. 'Just a bunch of angry ghosts who want to hand me over to their boss. Nothing at all!'

She scoffed. 'No need to be scared when I'm around!'

For some reason, that didn't make him feel any better. Fortunately, his flashlight wasn't necessary due to the ceiling light illuminating the entire elevator hall. To their left were a couple of bathrooms which weren't needed quite yet, and to the right was an revolving door that led to the actual shops.

'Well?' Daisy said, flexing her gloves. 'Let's get going! We oughta find something here. Maybe another elevator button!'

Without waiting for him, she headed for the revolving door. He picked himself up and went after her.

'I don't like revolving doors...' He muttered. 'They make me dizzy.'

Daisy smirked as she reached for the door. 'Really now? They're not that-'

She promptly got caught up in the spinning vortex of terror - I mean, doors - and was pinned in-between the glass walls as they brought her into the mechanical cyclone.

'WHOA-HO-HO!'

After a few seconds, the entire world seemed to blend together with itself. It got fast enough to launch her from the spinning, and throw her face first into the floor. Stars floated around her head.

'You know smoke!' She blurted out. 'When you see smoke, her pennies pinch back!'

She shook her head, and got over her dizziness. Now that the world had stopped spinning, she got a good look at the shopping centre. Aside from the usual feeling of dread associated with sneaking into the mall after it closed, it seemed a little nicer compared to the rest of the hotel. There were two shops on the first floor, and another two on the second. Each had a card symbol associated with it, and all were locked behind steel bars.

'Oh thank goodness, the shops are closed.'

A pair of escalators led from the bottom floor to the top and back again. Gardens decorated the edges of both floors; the only part that really piqued her interest.

'Hey Luigi!' She called. 'You co-?'

The revolving door behind her went spinning like crazy again.

'WAHH!' Luigi cried as he was launched out of the tornado.

'OOF!' Daisy exclaimed as he landed on top of her.

'Owie...'

And suddenly the both of them had the feeling that everyone was _doomed_. Polterpup waltzed on through the solid door like it was nothing.

Daisy got back onto her feet, making Luigi slide off her to the floor in the process. 'And people say we have nothing in common.' She said with a grin.

A slightly dizzy Luigi lifted himself off the ground, and laughed to himself. His laughter ended quickly, as something caught his attention. He noticed Officer Kruller marching across the top floor. His eyes fell upon a glowing light on his belt.

'Do do do, searchin' for dat green bud...' Kruller sang to himself, his jiggling keys providing the background music. 'Bah ba bah, gonna show 'em I ain't no dud...'

Luigi gasped, and grabbed Daisy's wrist. 'Hide!'

He pinned himself and her against the wall. Polterpup yelped and joined them.

'What did you-?' Daisy asked, whispering.

'A gh-ghost.' Luigi said, as quietly as possible. 'And he's got a button.'

'Aw, sweet. Who's it this time?'

'Cop.'

'Ah. Could be difficult...'

Kruller continued to sing his surprisingly-well-rhymed improvised song, totally ignorant of our hiding heroes.

'Badda bum ba, hope I'm not down on my luck. Badda do dah, cos den I'd be totally-'

A small bump came from down the hall that led to his office.

'AHH!'

He nearly dropped his flashlight from the shock. If he had a heart, it'd be beating like nothing at that moment.

'H-Hello? W-Who's there? Come out wit' your h-hands up!'

With his flashlight in hand like it was a gun, he leaned up against the wall, shining his light down the hall.

'I-I warn youse... I have a gun! ... S-Somewhere.'

He readjusted his sunglasses and sucked his (very shaky) breath in.

'A-Alright. We have a possible 4-5-9 in the Hotel Shops. Over.'

He gulped, and floated down the hall with both arms shaking. Nothing could be seen except for the vending machine at the end; the perfect place for a criminal to hide.

'Uh... I-I might need back-up. 10-75, 10-75! Over!'

Shaking more than jelly in an earthquake, he arrived at the vending machine. The bump came again, making his entire body flinch.

'A-Anything youse say or do will be used against youse! Maybe?'

A mouse stuck its head out of the vending machine. In spite of the anti-climax, it seemed to be rather pleased with itself.

'Huh?'

He stared at the smug mouse for a little while, until it grew bored and rushed into a mouse hole in the wall. The scene went still as Kruller let what happened sink in.

'Oh thank goodness...' He muttered, wiping the sweat off his brow (wait, can ghosts sweat?).

Certain that the 'threat' was gone, he put on his courageous façade once again. With the determined frown and clenched fists, it was dang good act.

'False alarm. Da intruder was nothin' more than a simple rodent. Fortunately I was dere to handle da situation. Now, uh... I will return to office.' He paused. 'Call anyone else to handle anymore problems. Over.'

He sprung into the red door to his office head-first, pushing to get himself and his, er, girth through. A key dropped out of his pocket and clinked on the floor. The clinking sound echoed throughout the otherwise silent shops. Our heroes heard it, and it made Daisy smile.

'Awesome! Sounds like he dropped something.' She said. 'If we're lucky, that was the elevator button and we can get out of here already.'

Luigi frowned. 'Knowing my luck, I doubt it.'

'Don't be so pessimistic. It's possible!'

He still doubted it.

The coast clear, the duo and their doggy assistant left their hiding spot and ran up the unmoving escalators. As soon as Luigi reached the top, he stopped and looked back to them. It wasn't the fact that they weren't moving that unsettled him; it was their very presence themselves. The simple idea of them being there at all sent shivers through his spine.

Daisy ran past a little black table and a stack of chairs by the time she realised that he wasn't following. 'Uh, Luigi, what's the hold-up?'

He was silent for a few seconds. 'There are escalators here.'

She blinked a couple times. 'Um... your point being? You scared of escalators now?'

'No, I-' He shot her a look. 'No. I mean... they're ghosts. They can float. Why do they need escalators?'

Daisy was about ready to point out the silliness in his words, but found herself unable to. The implications of his point sunk in, and suddenly she shared his apprehensive look.

'I-I think this hotel used to belong to someone alive.' He said. 'And if not... why did they build things they don't need?'

'Uh... maybe it was for us? Or... wait, did you notice that there were way more suitcases than ours in that basement?'

He gulped. Thinking back on it, it just unnerved him further.

'Y-Yeah?'

'Maybe those suitcases were owned by ghosts but... you don't think that we _weren't_ the first one to fall for this trap, do you?'

Luigi was about to mention that he had already thought about that, until Polterpup helpfully interrupted the conversation with a happy yip. He was already down the hallway, sniffing at the shiny object on the floor.

'Nice one, Polterpup!' Daisy said before running after him.

'W-Wait for me!' Luigi cried as he followed her.

To his disappointment (not that his expectations were high to begin with), the object was not the elevator button, but instead a key. A weirdly shaped key to boot. He didn't know many keys that had a crimson diamond at the end of it. Regardless, Daisy yanked the key and looked at it with twinkling eyes.

'Ha! That cop's just left the key to his office right here for us to take!' She said, twirling it around her finger. 'And I doubt he'll be _that_ hard to take on.'

The door to Kruller's office had a lock on it, and as Daisy went to put the key in Luigi couldn't help staring at it. Like the diamond-shaped key, this lock was an oddity on its own: it was yellow and shaped like a star. Just from the looks, he had a feeling the key wouldn't work. A red diamond to a yellow star seemed like a poor match-up.

Sure enough, when Daisy tried to turn the key, it did nothing. She twisted it around haphazardly, growling to herself.

'Oh come on!' She yelled. 'Why won't this stupid key work?!'

She let go of it just so she could pull on her hair, as a way to vent frustration before she broke either the key or Luigi's face. He grabbed the key, and held it up so the diamond was right next to the star lock.

'See the shapes? They're not the same.' He said. 'We'll need a star-shaped key for this.'

Daisy put her chin in her hand. 'Ah. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. How did I not notice that? You got great attention to detail, ya know that?'

He glanced at her. Something about the wording confused him. Her second sentence implied that she couldn't believe she didn't notice an obvious detail, yet her third complimented him for noticing it. Was it a feat or not? Or had she assumed that he couldn't notice even a simple detail like that?

That last thought was unlikely coming from her, but still a possibility.

'Maybe one of those shops needs this key.' She said, like he wasn't having a minor mental battle. 'It's a lead. Let's go!'

He ignored his mental battle, believing it to be nothing, and followed after her and his dog back into the main room, holding the diamond key.

'Okay,' Daisy said, rubbing her gloved-hands together. 'There's four shops. The key has to fit one of them.'

Luigi's attention fell on the shop - a gift shop judging by the sign of a present - they stood in front of. His eyes drifted to the symbols at its entrance. He recognised them as spades from a deck of cards.

He held the key up, aligning the symbols next to each other. Unsurprisingly, the diamond didn't match up with the spades.

'Hey Luigi!' Daisy called. 'I think I found something!'

She looked up at the symbols of the other shop on the second floor, on the other side of the escalators. The big diamond on the sign identified it as the jewellery store. Fittingly, the symbols on the entrance were diamond-shaped.

Luigi ran over to her, and held the key up to check; it was a perfect match.

'Found it!' He said, smiling.

Daisy fist-bumped the air. 'Progress! Sweet, sweet progress! Now where's the lock?'

The cheer of progress faded away quickly when they realised that the bars blocking the entrance had absolutely no lock attached. Daisy ran her hands across the bars as she and Luigi searched for a lock that wasn't there. Even Dark-Lighting the gate accomplished nothing.

'Maybe the key isn't for the gate?' Luigi suggested, doubting the possibility at the same time he raised it.

'Then what would it be for?' Daisy asked. 'It's a key. This is a gate. Hello!'

A moving white object caught his eye. Polterpup bounced around, next to the cash register. Somehow, among all the pretty jewellery on display, it was the register that interested him the most. It had a lock on it, shaped like a red diamond.

'Polterpup thinks it's for the register.' He said. 'What do you think?'

'Oh, with that diamond shape for a lock, absolutely. But how are you gonna get in?'

Luigi shook the bars, finding that they were as solid as a rock. The gaps between them taunted him, being just wide enough that neither him or Daisy could fit through no matter how well lubricated they were.

Wait a minute...

'Oh!' He yelled a little out of nowhere. 'Gooigi!'

Daisy snapped her fingers. 'Dang it. I was just about to say that.'

Luigi threw the big key on the floor, and imagined himself as the goo in his Poltergust. Upon feeling that cramped sensation, he pushed himself out of the container, and reformed as his gooey counterpart.

Daisy flinched. 'I am never getting used to that...'

Luigi, now in the body of Gooigi, picked the key up again and stored it in his torso. The red glow could be easily seen through the translucent green skin. He squeezed through the bars like they were nothing more but spiderwebs, and luckily the key followed him through.

He turned back around to Daisy and his unconscious body. She made the ultimate 'please do not shoot me' smile. Between her plumber's limp body and the gummy-Weegee staring back at her with those dead eyes, she hated it on every level.

She laughed nervously. 'Please go unlock the register _now_. Please.'

He nodded, and made his way over to the register in the back corner. Now walking in the Gooigi body for real, he noticed how squishy his steps were. They left behind a tiny puddle of goo that dissolved into the air before returning to his body. Polterpup took this moment to lick his owner's jelly legs. The taste of coffee made him wince.

Pulling the key out of his stomach - an action that would've made him scream if Gooigi were capable of it - he put it in the keyhole. It turned with ease, and the tray launched open.

Instead of the money he had been expecting, another key flew out and fell on the floor. This key had its own symbol, a pink heart. Still not the right one, but he knew one of the stores had hearts on it.

'Wha...?' Daisy questioned from the sidelines. 'The cop put a key in the-?! Never mind.'

'Gooigi' stared at the key for a couple seconds, giving plenty of time for a Goob to emerge from behind the register with a smirk on his blue face. Polterpup yelped and jumped into a bow, growling.

'Uh, Luigi? Gooigi? There's a ghost right there!'

She spoke as if Gooigi didn't notice the ghost right next to him. He stood perfectly still, not even bothering to turn his head. The fear swelling up his mind failed to incarnate through the gooey exterior.

'Boo!' The Goob yelled, his arms in the air.

Still, Gooigi did nothing.

_How am I_ this_ terrified yet Gooigi doesn't move?!_

The Goob frowned, and put his hands on his hips. 'What? Was my scare not good enough for you?'

Once again, the gummy human didn't respond in anyway, as if refusing to dignify him with a response.

'Um, hello? Anyone in there?'

He peered closely at the face. There was definitely no emotion behind those green soulless eyes. He poked Gooigi's nose a couple times, convinced he was talking to a malleable statue.

_Hey!_

The Goob pouted. 'They told me you were really jumpy. Where's the fun if you don't scream?'

His empty eyes fell upon the shiny key on the floor. With a shrug, he picked it up. He ran his fingers across its golden body.

'I suppose this is good enough. Not that ghosts really need keys. Maybe I can sell it for money.'

Gooigi wanted to yell at him to give it back, but nothing came out. Polterpup snarled, leapt off the floor and, just like how he did it in Evershade Valley, snatched the key away and held it in his mouth.

'Hey!' The Goob yelled. 'I stole that key first!'

Before he could swing a fist at the ghostly dog, Gooigi flashed him in the eyes. How the Strobulb still worked was a question Gooigi did not care about. Without a sweat, if he even could sweat, the man made of goo got a grip on the Goob.

'You're not jumpy at all! THEY LIED TO ME!'

Though the ghost tried to shake him off, Gooigi did not let go no matter how much he was dragged around. His gelatin feet scrapped against the carpet, slowly being sanded-down. They'd vanish into nothing if the goo didn't return to him a second later.

'THEY'RE ALL LIARS!'

Gooigi did not feel like dealing with this guy for any longer, and so slammed him all around indiscriminately.

***SMASH***

Destroying one of the glass cases in the process. Glass shards scattered everywhere. If he was in his regular body, he'd be covered in cuts, but they passed through Gooigi harmlessly.

With the ghost gone, Gooigi could stare at his deconstruction without interruption. Some of the jewellery, that now lay on the floor, survived, but the rest of it had been broken into at least two separate pieces.

'_Oops_.' He said. '_Sorry_.'

'Forget about that!' Daisy said. 'You got the key. So get outta there!'

Gooigi gave her a thumbs up, his only real mean of communication. He concentrated not on getting back into his fleshy body, but instead transporting himself back into the container. Like before, he imagined his very essence returning to where it was once.

His body broke apart into green droplets. Normally he'd scream his head off, but it just felt natural. He lifted his head up, and the green filter over everything vanished. The container on his Poltergust refilled.

The weirdest part about jumping between the two bodies was how it wasn't weird at all.

'Oh thank Grambi, you're back.' Daisy said, sighing in relief. 'So where's the key?'

'It's right...'

It took him a second to realise that he didn't have the key on him. His gloves were totally empty.

'Uh oh.'

He glanced through the bars again. Polterpup walked towards him, key in mouth, with a proud smile on his snout. Phasing through the wall, he dropped the key in front of his owner while wagging his tail.

Luigi knelt down to stroke his head and pick up the key. 'Thanks boy!'

If the shape was any indication, it was still not the key to Kruller's office.

He groaned. 'You wanna bet we'll have to check all the shops before we find the key?'

'There's a chance we'll find the right key before then. But don't tell me the odds.'

Following the shape led them to the store in the southeast corner of the shops, on the bottom floor. The purple dress on the sign indicated it was a clothes shop. Upon seeing this, Daisy sighed.

'Alright, let's get this one out of the way.' She said, rubbing her temples.

There it was again. Luigi still didn't understand this sudden hatred for shopping.

'Why are you acting like that?' He asked.

Daisy glanced at him. 'Acting like what?'

'You-you, um...'

His cheeks flared up. Asking questions already took some might. Having to re-explain himself took even more energy.

'I, uh, don't remember you hating shopping. Why do you hate it now?'

She opened her mouth like a professor about to explain a 'simple' mathematics formula, before she struggled to answer.

'Um... I got a reputation to uphold. You know how it is.'

Luigi gave her an incredulous look. 'N-No. I don't. Y-You know there's nothing wrong with being a girl who likes-'

'O-KAY, we've talked enough! Get in there, Gooigi!' She yelled, pushing him towards the gate.

Accepting that he'd never understand her change in attitude, he 'activated' Gooigi and slipped through the bars, Polterpup following him in. The shop had several outfits, mostly dresses, on display. He liked the look of a lot of them, certainly more than Daisy would. She'd look good in them; she looked good in everything. An orange dress with deep blue accents especially stood out to him.

The cash register, this one marked with a pink heart, rested at the back left corner. Gooigi put in the key in, and with a quick turn the tray opened up. The key inside it, this one with a blue spades symbol at the end, didn't launch out this time.

'Now grab that key so we can move on already!' Daisy yelled, as if he wouldn't do it anyway.

Gooigi reached for the key, but then it rose up into the air, slowly and still. He went to grab it, but it swung out of his reach. A visible blue aura emanated off the key, a similar aura to those of the Goobs.

_Wait, can I see ghost auras like this?_

If he knew more about Gooigi's creation originating from ghost energy, he'd be less surprised. He got his Strobulb ready for the ghost to materialise.

What he wasn't expecting was the Goob in question to be smaller than his head. She held the key up over her body, like it was the sword in the stone itself.

'Ooh, pwetty key! I want da pwetty key!'

Her voice would've made his hair stand on end if he had any at that moment. Her voice was far too childlike. She sounded no older than five. It gave him horrifying thoughts that he'd rather not have.

'Get the key off her, Luigi!' Daisy ordered.

Gooigi wanted to gentle and carefully coax her into giving him the key, but with how limited his speaking capabilities were he had no chance of being anything but direct.

'_Give me the key_.'

The Mini-Goob hugged the key like it was a teddy bear. 'No! Da pwetty key is mine! If you want da pwetty key, you gotta take it from me and my fwiends!'

Daisy scoffed. 'You and what friends?'

Polterpup shuddered, picking up the vibe of many, many more ghosts. Right on cue, more Mini-Goobs emerged from the floor. There had to be about ten of them, surrounding Luigi on all sides.

'Uh... forget I said anything!' Daisy said.

_Thanks for the help..._ Though, he couldn't blame her too much. It wasn't like she could do anything at that moment.

'Look at the liddle puppy!'

'Da key is for us!'

The swarm of Mini-Goobs was getting closer, each of them expressing their own unique form of gleeful aggression. Gooigi winced.

_I... I don't wanna capture them. They're just little bambine..._

The first Mini-Goob waved the key in front of him, smirking. 'I know you want da pwetty key. But you can't haff it!'

He sighed. If only Gooigi could close his eyes, so he didn't have to look at them. He unleashed the charged-up flash, the light consuming at least a third of them. The Poltergust only had to be used for a moment for them to disappear into it.

The cries they let out only made him feel worse. Any fearful sound of a young one in danger - whether they be human, Goomba, ghost, or anything living thing - awoke the worst kinds of fears within him.

_Don't think about it, Weegee. Just worry about the key..._

The first Mini-Goob shrieked. 'Your vacuum cweaner is so scawy! Dat's unfair! You're a gween meanie!'

One of the tiny ghosts behind him swung around like a ballerina and hit the back of his neck.

'_Ow!_'

The pain faded away quickly, like the goo absorbed it. Gooigi spun around and dealt with more of them, getting rid of a large chuck of them for every round. He flashed a fifth time, only to find that they had all disappeared into his Poltergust. The clubs key rested on the floor, the ghost aura gone.

He held his flashlight close to his chest. _I hope those little bambine are okay..._

'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.

Gooigi handed the key to Polterpup. '_They were kids_.'

Even if he could say more, he didn't want to. Daisy's heart sank.

'Well, we got the key. That's all that matters.'

Sighing in agreement, Gooigi gave his unconscious body a thumbs-up and returned to his glass home. Polterpup carried the key out and gave it to the re-awakened Luigi. He stared at the key with regret. He could only hope he wouldn't have to capture any more child ghosts.

'Still no star.' He said, putting that behind him. 'We're never getting that button back.'

Daisy pat his back with perhaps a little too much force. 'And you're never saving Mario with that defeatist attitude!'

He sighed, and gave her the strongest smile he could. 'Yeah. I wanna save big bro.'

* * *

_**GOOIGI, THE GOOEY ASSISTANT**_

_Gooigi is one of E. Gadd's most brilliant inventions. It highly resembles an all-green Luigi, and is armed with its own Poltergust to boot. Though able to pass through walls, its highly weak to water (and spittle). Luigi will have to learn how to change between himself and it to save his friends._

* * *

**Author Notes - Kruller was always a favourite of mine. He was on-screen for two seconds and I fell in proverbial love. But I worried over writing his dialogue, as you got his entire personality without it. I like what I ended up doing. And yes, his first name being 'Paul' is a reference to exactly what you think it is, though in this context it's meant to be a fandom nod more than anything.**

**So what's with the Phantasma-Gloves? I just liked the idea of something that let you grab ghosts, and it was perfect for Daisy. They give her a unique niche over Luigi and Gooigi, and most importantly she's not dead weight. As you'll find, they do more than just let her touch ghosts.**

**The 'lost his keys for a month' scene (which, yes, is a MKT joke) was originally meant to be played purely for a joke. But trust me to make it dramatic. See the Mini-Goobs for more evidence of that.**

**And, uh, quick warning. The next chapter is gonna be pretty darn long. The longest so far, in fact.**

* * *

_'Come on, Weegee! Why can't you see how amazing you are?'_

_Luigi sat on his bed, staring at his hands, while his brother paced in front of him. __It had been a couple days since he saved Mario from that mansion he supposedly won. Mario was still recovering from the shock of it, but he couldn't understand how Luigi was taking the situation._

_'You saved me from King Boo!' Mario yelled, slowly losing his mind. 'I couldn't do a thing to stop him... How don't you get this?'_

_Luigi sighed. 'It was just the Poltergust. If you had it, you'd be fine.'_

_Mario groaned. It always came back to the Poltergust._

_'You know me, bro. I probably would've turned it down anyway. The Poltergust doesn't matter. You do.'_

_To Mario, it was frustrating trying to get through his brother's veil and tell him that he was truly great. To Luigi, he couldn't understand why his brother was even trying._

_'I'm no hero...' He muttered._

_'For goodness sake, yes you are!' Mario cried._

_Luigi lifted his legs onto his bed and turned away from him. The wall covered in souvenirs of their adventures seemed more comforting._

_'What kind of hero gets scared?' He asked. 'I was terrified of everything. The ghosts, the dark, the lightning, the mice... you never get scared. Unlike me.'_

_Mario sighed again, this time more solemnly. 'Who said I never got scared?'_

_That got Luigi to look back at him with teary eyes. Mario's serious expression told him that he meant it._

_'B-But... y-you n-never-'_

_'When I was trapped in that portrait, I was terrified. Before I saw you trying to save me, I thought I was a goner. I never felt so helpless in my life. The thought of being unable to escape still haunts me now. And it always will.'_

_Luigi stammered, trying to piece any meaningful sentence together. Try as he might, he couldn't deny his brother's words._

_'W-Well, you weren't the hero then.'_

_Mario growled, his fists clenching. Just barely keeping his anger under control, he sat down on his own bed._

_'Please, listen to me. Whenever I go out on an adventure by myself, I always have to deal with a crippling fear that could easily stop me if I let it.'_

_'Which is?' Luigi asked, not entirely convinced._

_'That one day, I'll return home and find you... dead.'_

_Luigi gasped. He didn't know how to comprehend it. Tears trickled down his cheeks._

_'W-Why?'_

_'Why? Do you need to ask why? You're my whole world, Weegee! If I lost you, I wouldn't be able to carry on. I know you can take care of yourself, but sometimes...'_

_Mario choked. It made Luigi feel even worse; now he made his brother cry._

_'I don't know how you do it, Weegee. I have to forget my fears, or they'll cripple me. But you... you faced your fears head-on, no matter how terrified you were. I may not be scared of what's in my way, but you push on no matter what. That, Luigi, is true courage.'_

_It was the sad truth that no amount of reassurance could suddenly fix Luigi's fears and insecurities. That was just the reality of the matter. But when those reassuring words came from Mario, they seemed so much more meaningful._

_Yet, at the same time, his own fears seemed minuscule and pathetic compared to Mario's._


	7. A Complete Cop-Out

**Author Notes - Yay for trying to get a floor done in one chapter only to realise you're too many words in before you even get to the boss. *****glances at word count* Okay, so, um... I suppose we can have some of the divided chapters be as long as the first...**

**Thanks to silu785 and The-Black-Forest-Cake-Is-A-Lie for the favourites!**

**CHAPTER SEVEN - A COMPLETE COP-OUT**

With the purple clubs key grabbed from the Gift Shop, in a manner with no problems beyond a couple more Goobs that went down with ease, Luigi and Daisy made their way down to the final shop on the bottom floor via the escalators.

As soon as Daisy put her foot down on the escalator, it moved from beneath her, jolting her forward.

'Whoa!'

She fell onto her face as the now-moving escalator carried her away.

'Daisy!' Luigi cried.

He got on and, while stumbling a few times, ran after her. The moving platform threw off his balance.

'Are you okay?'

Daisy got up like nothing had happened. 'You expect a little fall to hurt me? I just wanna know what made these escalators move all of a sudden.'

Luigi shivered as an eerie vibe settled over him. It was a similar vibe to that he felt from the hotel staff, but somehow stronger. Polterpup, unaffected by the movement underneath him, sniffed around. He picked up something that worried him.

Daisy shrugged. 'Eh. It's convenient.'

The escalator brought them down to their final destination. The moment they arrived at the store, they noticed a major problem.

'Oh.' Daisy stated simply. Luigi added in a groan.

The entrance of the store was blocked off, not by bars like the others but by horizontal panels of solid, albeit rather flimsy, plastic that left no room to squeeze through. Luigi peered closely at the 'gaps' between the panels. The gaps were there, but even a worm would struggle to fit its body through them.

Looking through the window, he could see not only floating scissors cutting the hair of non-existent people but the register at the back as well. The lock matched the purple club key he had on him.

'Well, that's just great.' Daisy sighed, rolling her eyes. 'I'll bet that place has the key we need. You're good at puzzle solving. What do you think?'

Luigi stepped back to get a view of the entire store, and scanned his eyes across for any sort of notable details. The clubs next to the big pair of scissors on the sign had a joint in the middle of both of them. It seemed like, if given enough force, they could spun.

He aimed his Poltergust up at one of the clubs, and sure enough, once air flowed out from his weapon it proceeded to spin. It picked up in speed every second, just fast enough that it almost flew off its joint. When he stopped using his Poltergust, the spinning slowed down and quickly ceased.

'Those clubs spin.' He said. 'Maybe if they both spin at once, it'll open the door... maybe.'

Daisy crossed her arms and groaned, not because of Luigi but simply because she was losing her patience. This far into this place, she just wanted to bust those stupid panels down!

As she thought about this frustration, the lights on the Phantasma-Gloves glowed bright, the brightest they had yet. She gritted her teeth, and without thinking about it swung her fist at the panels.

'But they stop spinning when I'm not Poltergusting them.' Luigi continued, chin in hand. 'I think I need to get Gooigi to-'

***SMASH***

The ear-piercing sound shattered his thoughts. He screamed, stumbled over his own feet and fell to the floor. Even Polterpup had flee the scene, believing he heard thunder.

'Oh my gosh!' Daisy cried. 'I... I didn't think that would actually work!'

* * *

That smashing sound, unsurprisingly with how loud it was, reached Kruller's office. The police officer had been leaning back in the chair at his desk, until the boom greeted him.

'AHHH!'

He jumped and fell out of his chair, hitting the ground with a very audible sound. His sunglasses fell off his face and landed on his chest. Once his hyperventilating came to a stop, he leapt to his, erm, tail, and darted his head around.

'W-Who's dere?! I-I am armed, and I ain't afraid to shoot!'

A few seconds of silence passed. He sighed in relief, and picked up his walkie talkie. It wasn't on.

'I t'ink we have a break-in here in da Hotel Shops. Dis is definitely a 4-9-5. Everyone must be on patrol at once!'

He floated over to the security camera feed behind him. Wait, no, he got back on the floor and rolled over to his computers like a cop from the 70's. After getting a little dazed upon slamming into his computers, he stood up and peered closely at his security cams.

'Alright you hooligans, you're about to find out dat crime don't pay.'

He found the 'hooligans' almost immediately, thanks to the lack of activity on any other screen. Camera 05, the one for outside the salon, showed two people. One of them, the woman, had just managed to demolish his security measures in a single punch.

'O-Oh no...' Kruller gulped. 'Uh, it s-seems we got ourselves a 5-0-7 here, wit' a possible 2-4-2. And a...'

He gasped. The man who stared at the woman in shock looked eerily similar to the wanted posters. In fact, downright identical. Shivers overcame his body.

'D-Dat's him! D-Dat's da green bud! H-He's da one who's been capturin' my friends...'

After fumbling around in an attempt to find them, he picked up his sunglasses and slipped them back on.

'W-Well, I suppose I'll have to wait for him to come to me. Over!'

* * *

Luigi stared at what remained of the blockage with blank shock. Daisy shared the look. Polterpup returned to his owner's side, only once he was certain it was not thunder.

Somehow, with one swift punch, Daisy had totally demolished the admittedly weak panels that had blocked her way.

'Wh... what?' Luigi stammered out, finally getting off the floor.

Daisy glanced down at her fist, which still stood stretched-out. The lights on the glove flashed rapidly and faded away. She grinned as the realisation sunk in.

'Aw, sweet! These gloves let me smash walls if I really want to! Noice.'

Luigi tip-toed over to her, unable to take his eyes off the shards scattered all over the salon floor.

'Uh, c-can you not do that?' He suggested.

She raised an eyebrow at him. 'You serious? This could save us _all_ of the puzzles.'

'I-I know that, but... it creates a lot of noise. If we keep doing this, we might attract unwanted attention. Or, uh, demolish the entire hotel with us inside it.'

'Oh.' She said, letting her arm relax. 'Good thing you're here, or I would've destroyed the place by now.'

Regardless, Luigi couldn't complain too much. The deafening destruction of the gate certainly made things easier. They made their way over to the register, the only distraction being Luigi flinching a little from the scissors dropping to the floor.

'Please have the office key...' He murmured as he went to put the key in.

Just as the key was about to be put inside the lock, five big balls of fire resembling blue will-o'-the-wisps emerged from the wall.

'Uh, Luigi, what are those?' Daisy asked.

'Spirit balls...'

'Spirit _what_?'

The spirit balls floated hypnotically around the register, and without warning flew into it and made it seemingly vanish into thin air.

Daisy jumped back. 'Oh! They're the things that make objects seemingly disappear, right?'

She glanced down at her Phantasma-Gloves, her attention caught by the lights that grew brighter every second.

'Yeah.' Luigi said. 'So I'll need to use the-'

'Hang on. I wanna try something.'

She reached her hand out to when the register used to be, and the lights on her gloves glowed more intensely. To both her and his surprise, her hands collided with what appeared to be air. Feeling around, she felt the distinctive shape of what was there before.

'Okay, it's official.' She said. 'These gloves are the best thing E. Gadd's ever invented. Can I take that?'

Without waiting for his response, she took the key away from him. He frowned, but said nothing. She felt blind, having to feel around for something that she couldn't see. That rectangular object at the bottom had to be the tray, so if she went a little to the right...

'Aha! That's gotta be the lock! So if I...'

She inserted the key into the slot, after about eight failed attempts that only resulted in the key going in random directions. That's what made Luigi stare with his mouth agape - the key only moved where it could've if the register had been materialised.

'Now watch this!' Daisy declared like a magician on stage.

She gave the key a quick turn, and - in case the sound of the tray opening didn't prove it enough - another key flew out of thin freaking air and directly into her hand.

'How d'ya like that?' She said, twirling the key on her pinky.

Every minute it seemed Luigi found something new to gape at. What he had just witnessed went against all (okay, maybe not _all_) he knew about the spirit balls. At the same time, if the Phantasma-Gloves could touch ghosts, they already had some physics-breaking capabilities.

Then he noticed the shape of the key. 'A yellow star? This has to be the key to the cop's office!'

'Finally! Let's just get him and the button so we can get out of here.'

Luigi reached out to grab the key, but Daisy just threw it into her other hand. Polterpup bent his knees, ready to leap up and take it from her.

'I think it's best if _I_ carry it.' She said. 'Just in case.'

'What?! Why?' Luigi asked, glaring at her before his expression softened. 'I-I mean, you can carry it if you want, but why? Don't you trust me with the key?'

She strutted out the shattered remains of the salon's security door, swaying her hips just a little bit too much. Luigi followed after her when he realised he was being left behind.

'Just saying, not many people have managed to lose the keys to their kart for a _month_.'

He blushed, and stammered out nonsense several times before saying something coherent. 'I, uh, I only lost them for a _couple_ weeks. It was getting lost on my way to the course that set me back so much.'

She used all her willpower to resist giggling. 'And I should trust you with this very important key when you manage to lose _yourself_, because...?'

Her smug little grin faded away when she got no response, instead of some sort of comeback like she expected. She glanced at his face, and though his expression hadn't changed she could see his true feelings through his eyes.

With eyes like that, she could practically read his mind. _She's right_. She imagined him thinking. _I shouldn't carry that key. I can't even keep myself from getting lost_. She couldn't prove it, but the defeat in his eyes assured her that she was right.

'Uh, but if you want to carry the key, I'm fine with that too.' She said, handing it to him though he didn't take it. 'I mean, it's a pretty big key. I'm sure you won't lose it.'

'N-No. You should have it.' He replied, his voice weaker than usual. 'I-I'll just lose it anyway.'

Daisy's heart sank as guilt ate away at her soul. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, the hurt in his voice never failed to sadden his friends around him. She growled in her throat; he either didn't notice, or didn't want to ask her about it.

Time and time again, she'd tell a somewhat mean joke that Luigi would misinterpret and then assume the worse. The fact that she never seemed to learn frustrated her. Yes, part of it was Luigi's fault - he needed to learn how to take jokes better, as hard as it was - but she had to remember that Luigi was 'different' and struggled to take jokes at his expense.

And she never did. At least it wasn't as bad as the 'joke' she cracked on their first date.

'_I mean, I'm only dating you cos you're the closest I'll get to Mario, so_...'

'Uh, D-Daisy?'

The meek, nasally voice brought her back into reality, where upon she realised that she had zoned out and was staring into space. Good lord, the look in his eyes... she had to look away so she could focus on their mission.

'Well, what are we waiting for? Let's bust this cop already!' She giggled. 'Get it? _Bust_ the cop? Because he's-'

'Yeah, I get it.' Luigi said, giving her a look.

She crossed her arms and pouted. 'Like you don't like puns.'

With the key now in their possession, the trio made their way onto the right, moving-upwards escalator. Waiting for it to carry them up would take too long, so they walked with it to get to the top as soon as possible.

Until they reached the halfway point. The escalator on both sides came to an abrupt stop, sparks popping out of the sides. The Poltergust on his back, weighing him down, prevented Luigi from losing his balance too much when the floor stopped moving underneath him. Daisy on the other hand...

'OOF!'

She fell rather unceremoniously onto her face. Fortunately, the gloves absorbed most of the impact from her hands, which had hit the ground first.

She tapped her fingers against the unmoving floor. 'You know what? I think you're right. Haunted buildings are out to get you, and _you_ only.'

Not waiting for her to get up, the escalator begun to move once again.

Downwards.

Her eyes widening, she shot to her feet and tried to walk against it. It matched her speed, keeping her in place no matter how many steps she could. Luigi, on the other hand, didn't fight back against it at all. Sensing in the back of his mind that this wasn't safe, he allowed it to carry him to the bottom.

'Hang on Luigi!' Daisy yelled, speeding up. 'I nearly got it.'

But no matter how fast she ran, she remained in place. The moving platform beneath her feet managed to keep up with her speed perfectly, regardless of how quickly she tried to fight. Polterpup, totally unaffected, sniffed the walls of the escalator again.

That odour was anything but good.

She grunted. 'Okay! There's obviously some undead joker who thinks this is funny. Come at me!'

Two big red arms emerged from the floor and gripped onto the sides of the escalator, as a deep growling could be heard. Unlike the meagre arms of any other ghost seen before, these were noticeably big and muscular. Big enough that those hands alone could snap her spine.

'I repeat...' Daisy said between exhausted breathes. 'COME AT ME!'

From the still-speeding floor, popped out a ghost. A _big_ red ghost with a size comparable to a Thwomp, with the rectangular shape to match. And his glowing white scowl stood directly in front of Daisy's face.

'Whoa!'

She jumped back in surprise, losing her footing and falling backwards. The moving floor made her bounce down to the first floor like they were stairs. She only came to a stop once her rear hit the stationary floor on the bottom.

'Daisy!' Luigi cried. 'You o-?'

She stood up and dusted herself off. 'No need to keep asking.' She clenched her fists, the lights on the gloves glowing.

The big red ghost, known as a 'Hammer', pounded his chests with open palms like a gorilla on the attack. Each pound unleashed a small shockwave. It successfully showed dominance over Luigi, but not so much Daisy.

'HAROLD MAD!' The Hammer yelled. 'HAROLD CATCH GREEN GUY AND RECEIVE MONEY! HAROLD WANT MONEY!'

Purple spectral walls emerged from thin air and slammed into the ground, blocking off the way to the stores on the bottom floor and the entirety of the top floor.

Daisy smirked, and gave the Hammer a gesture that screamed 'bring it on'. You could almost see the action movie title pop up underneath her face. Luigi shaking like jelly in the background served as the comic relief.

'S-Should you be doing that?' He asked.

'Absolutely!'

The Hammer, known as Harold apparently, clenched his huge fists, and charged down the escalator with his hand out in front. A trail of small flames accompanied his fist.

'HAROLD HURT ANNOYING PRINCESS!'

Daisy's grin grew; she loved being called 'annoying'.

'Head's up, sweetie!' She announced.

'Huh?!' Luigi stammered.

Harold swung his flaming fist her way, aiming directly for the face, but she ducked under it - just barely missing the flames - and rolled to the side. She flawlessly transitioned from the roll to a stand, right next to the confused and panicked Luigi, and beckoned for another attack.

'Show me what ya got!'

'D-Daisy!'

The Hammer growled and, without warning, slammed his fists into the ground, unleashing a grand crimson shockwave with a nice loud THUD.

Luigi went into instinct mode, and immediately pressed both the suck and blow button at the same time. Air burst from the back of his Poltergust, launching him into the air for a second. The shockwave passed underneath him harmlessly.

Luckily, Daisy jumped with him at the same time. Both landed with only a slight stumble.

'That's all ya got?'

'P-Please stop antagonising him...'

Harold, upon seeing that his targets had dodged both his attacks, turned even redder. He pounded his open palms against his chest again, more violently than before.

'HAROLD MAD!'

Daisy nudged Luigi's shoulder with her elbow, and murmured something along the lines of 'alright, _your_ cue'. After a few seconds of thinking it over, he nodded and began charging up his Strobulb.

'MORTALS MUST PAY SO HAROLD GETS PAID! BOSS ONLY PAY IF GREEN GUY DELIVERED! SO MORTALS MUST-'

Luigi cut him off mid-sentence with a flash to the eyes. Despite the Hammer's bulk, the bright light stunned him the same way as all the ghosts before him.

The green-clad ghostbuster jumped at his chance, and began sucking the big ghost into the Poltergust. Oh wait, no, he _tried_ to stuck up the big ghost. Though the stunned Hammer couldn't move, he wouldn't get into the Poltergust no matter how long Luigi held the button down for.

And unlike Chambrea, who at least got her tail stuck, Harold didn't even do that.

'I... I can't get him in!' Luigi cried. 'The Poltergust can't get a grip!'

Harold shook off the daze from the light, and glared at the plumber. It didn't do him any good, as Luigi just stunned him again.

'Hold him there!' Daisy said as she handed the key to Luigi.

He shoved the key away into his pocket. 'Uh, okay?'

Luigi kept the Poltergusting going, even though all it accomplished was removing tiny little specks of energy away from the Hammer's unmovable body.

Daisy left his side and ran around to other end of the big angry ghost. He was just as bulky from behind as he was at front, except for the two small tails sticking out from what appeared to be his rear end. If ghosts even _had_ rear ends.

'Okay, what's your idea?' Luigi asked, flashing one more time.

'I'm getting to it. I'm getting to it!'

No doubt if Luigi ran around and grabbed onto one of the tails, the ghost would go down into the Poltergust exactly like any other ghost.

She smirked; who said _Luigi_ had to grab onto him? Or anything about just _one_ tail?

'C-Can you hurry up?' Luigi asked. 'I like _not_ being turned into a pancake!'

Well, no need to keep him waiting. With the lights on the gloves glowing bright, she slapped her hands over the tails, one in each hand, and held on tight. She had to admit - the big tails took more strength to grip onto than the Goobs did.

'HUH?' Harold said, feeling something on his tails. 'GET OFF HAROLD SO HAROLD CAN KILL PRINCESS!'

Harold flew around the small area the spectral fences had gated them into. Luigi watched, with a growing grin, his princess hang on tight as the ghost dragged her across the floor.

She let go of one tail to wave her hand in the air like she was twirling a lasso. 'YEEEEEE-HAW! Ged along li'l ghostie!'

Daisy knew that riding the ghost like this did nothing to actually beat it, but the rush of her shoes scrapping the ground and the air blowing through her hair was just too good.

'HAROLD HATE PRINCESSES! AND PRINCES TOO! HAROLD SEE NO DIFFERENCE!'

She rolled her eyes. As fun as wrangling the guy was, she already had enough of his butchering of language itself. Not to mention that grabbing onto such a big target was actually beginning to tucker her out.

'Alrighty, that's enough.' She said, like an exasperated parent.

'Get 'em, Daisy!' Luigi cheered into a makeshift megaphone made from his hands.

'ARF ARF!' Polterpup yelped while dancing on his hindlegs.

Daisy flashed the green-clad plumber a wink, making him blush. She held onto both the tails tight, and with a great heave slammed his face into the floor. The shockwaves created knocked the bins over, covering the floor with trash.

'PRINCESS ANNOYING! PRINCESS IN WAY OF HAROLD'S PAY!'

'Pronouns; use them!'

She bashed his face on the floor many, many more times. Each time, she could feel the struggle against her grasp slipping away. No matter how much she struck him, she refused to stop until he broke apart into scattered red particles.

A quiet voice whispered as the particles flew past her ear. '_Harold understand... Harold leave princess and green guy alone_.'

Daisy dusted her hands off, marvelling at her work as the ethereal fences lifted and vanished.

'Yeah, yeah!' Luigi continued to cheer, now joining his pet in the hoppy dance. 'Daisy, Daisy, she's the best! She, um, something something... than the rest!'

Realising how his cheer fell apart just about immediately, he blushed and laughed nervously. It took so much willpower for Daisy to not just break down in girly squealing at the sight. He couldn't be more precious!

He rubbed the back of his neck. 'Hehe... I'll, uh, work on that.'

Daisy chuckled. 'No. It's perfect as is.'

Now free from the control of the Hammer, the escalators moved on their own once again. And this time, they did not speed up randomly.

As they ran past the gift shop, Luigi stopped for a moment. At the corner of his eye, he could see a table with four chairs stacked onto it. The chairs weren't stacked regularly though; more like a balancing puzzle that hardly obeyed the laws of gravity at all. He turned around to get a better look, only for all four chairs to be resting on the floor like regular seats should.

Now more than ever, he began to doubt his sanity, especially considering that Daisy didn't react to this at all. With a lot of might, he managed to ignore it and move on. To the best of his abilities, at least.

They arrived at the office with the star lock finally with the star key in tow. Luigi took the key out to unlock the door...

***THUD***

'Ah!'

Only to be interrupted by Daisy slamming her fist into the door. The door itself barely jolted, while Daisy held her eyes shut tight as pain shot through her arm.

Luigi dropped the key in shock. 'W-What are you doing?!'

She took her hand away and shook the pain off. 'I thought I'd punch right through this door like I did before! Are the gloves malfunctioning or something?'

He peered at their lights. They glowed dimly, as if reacting to the ghost on the other side, but certainly not as brightly as they could be.

* * *

***THUD***

'WoooAAAH!'

Officer Kruller fell out of his chair for the second time that hour. While this sound wasn't nearly as loud as the last, it came directly from behind his office door.

He peered his bare eyes over the edge of his desk, his hands shaking. 'Oh no... they've reached my office. How? I thought I hid dose keys perfectly.'

His attention fell to the lost-and-found room to his left. He was yet to close its gate, so it was still open to the general public, assuming they got into his office.

'Alright den. If dat's what youse want.' He said, slipping his sunglasses back on.

He picked up his walkie talkie. It still wasn't on.

'Breaker breaker, I got some intruders about ready to storm into my office. Don't bother wit' sendin' back-up. I got dis. Over!'

While the intruders on the other side of the door conversed with themselves, Kruller got down the floor and made an epic sideways roll into the lost-and-found.

Wait, no. He stopped halfway through and flailed his arms about as he tried in vain to keep the roll going.

'Uh, correction. I might need back-up. Over.'

After a few seconds of struggling, he managed to heave his body towards his destination. Bumping into a box, he got up and reached his hand inside it.

'I'm sure dis is where I left it...'

He felt his hand grab something. Pulling it out, he was greeted with a tiny box. A puppet sprung out of it, and smiled right in his face.

'Gah!' He exclaimed, throwing it away. 'I t'ought I got rid of dat t'ing!'

Not one to be deterred, he reached in again. This time, he grabbed a more spherical object, one that seemed to jab into his translucent skin a bit.

Turned out to be a puffed-up pufferfish.

'OH MY JAYDES!' He screamed in a voice higher-pitched than normal.

He shook his hand as wildly as he could to shake that confounded fish off.

'Who is even losin' dese fish?! Is it Fishook's? Or Soulfflé's? Or... whatever, get it away from me!'

Giving that box one last chance, he peered into it and searched for the object he desired.

He smiled. 'Bingo! I am now armed and ready. Over!'

* * *

'Maybe it has a cool-down?' Luigi suggested as he turned the key. 'Or maybe it's an anger thing?'

Daisy huffed. 'Well, I suppose that gives me another reason not to just break every door down. It won't work half the time!'

Luigi pushed the door open, not at all expecting what greeted him on the other side.

'FREEZE wit' your hands up!'

Office Kruller stood on the other side, towering over all three of our heroes. He had a gun, pointed directly at Luigi's head.

'Wah!'

Luigi, without thinking, jumped out of the way and cowered behind Daisy, shaking like an overplayed maraca. The moment he realised what he did, shame overwhelmed him.

He was supposed to be the hero, glorious and brave, and there he was, hiding behind his maiden when he was too frightened. And here he thought he was above such cowardly acts.

Like all situations like this, he had to make up for it before anyone got mad. Or upset. Or broke ties with him.

'I'm s-so sorry Daisy!' He cried. 'I-I wasn't thinking, and I-'

Only then did he realise that Daisy was not listening. She instead gave Kruller the most 'are you for real?' look you have ever seen, which contrasted quite well with his super-serious one.

This in-spite of the fact that he had a gun pointed to her forehead.

'Officer...' She glanced at his nametag. 'Kruller, that's a water gun.'

And she was absolutely right. With its bright red colouring and the big tank on top, no one could mistake it for the real thing. Except a panicked Luigi, apparently. For Kruller, it was the most he had. No way in the Underwhere he was letting real guns anywhere near his office.

'Youse have da right to remain silent!' He declared. 'Anythin' youse say can and will be used against youse when, um, Ms Gravely eventually comes to pick youse up.'

'Once again. Water gun.'

Just to make it worse, Kruller's hand was shaking so he couldn't even hold the harmless weapon still.

'I said hands up!'

She gave him the look for a few more moments, and raised her hands up in the most unenthusiastic manner she possibly could.

'N-Now, state your name and business.'

With a sigh, she answered. 'Princess Daisy of Sarasaland. This guy is my partner Luigi, and his pet Polterpup. We just want that elevator button.'

Her eyes darted to the button on his belt. It was most certainly in reach. What was stopping her from grabbing it and running? Aside from Luigi trying to stop her. He'd probably say that Kruller would go alert the others, and summon back-up, and attack them, and... actually, Luigi had a point.

Kruller's hardened expression softened, and he lowered the gun just a bit. 'Dat's... Dat's it? Just da button? Not... all of da merchandise, or my money, or anythin'? Just da button.'

'Yep. Just give us the button and we'll be out of here.'

The panicked cop pondered the deal over. As far as he was aware, it seemed totally fair. They got what they wanted, and he didn't have to deal with them much longer. In anything, _they_ deserved a little more for being so nice. Still, he could absolutely give up the borderline-useless thing.

He was about to drop his weapon and hand over the button with no questions asked, until something stopped him. Nothing physical, but instead a force that encased his mind.

_Don't give them that button, you fool!_ His boss's voice rang through his head. _They'll betray you and your friends. You don't want that, do you? Those mortals are scum. They capture our kind indiscriminately. If you give them that button, you'll be no better._

He slipped his gun into his belt and folded his arms. 'Okay then. You'll hafta come wit' me.'

Daisy dropped the 'you serious?' look. 'What? Why? Can't you just give it to us now?'

'We hafta talk it over foist. Make sure it's a fair deal, ya know.'

Refusing to take his eyes off them, Kruller floated backwards into the lost-and-found, beckoning for them to follow.

Daisy sighed. 'Okay. Fine. Just make it quick. Com'on Luigi.'

She followed Kruller with about as much excitement as a rock. Luigi shook in place for a few seconds before going after her with a stumble. The hairs on his neck stood up; something felt wrong here. Horribly, horribly wrong. And considering what happened last time he didn't follow his instinct...

'Is this really a good idea?' He asked as he stepped into the next room.

'We need the button.' Daisy responded. 'Enough said.'

Luigi glanced around. The lost-and-found clearly didn't have a lot of people (or ghosts) coming into it. The musty air greeted him once again, albeit much more breathable this time. The boxes had been stacked precariously, with their various contents spilling out. Everything between golf clubs, pineapples, shoes, sports balls - wait, shoes?

Daisy kicked at a pair of sunglasses. 'Okay. We're in. What now?'

***CLANK***

The gate slammed shut behind them.

'Wah!'

'Hey!'

Daisy rushed to the bars and shook them violently. The lights on the glove glowed, but not nearly bright enough. Kruller just got done locking up the lost-and-found, and glared at her through the bars.

'Youse've been convicted of vandalism and t'reatenin' to hurt a cop!'

Luigi brought his flashlight to his chest and hugged it tight. It gave him safety from the sudden sensation of being trapped. He used all of his willpower to relax his haphazard breathing.

Had his mind been working right, he'd simply withdraw Gooigi. As is, there was just too much to focus on.

'What?! We never threatened you!' Daisy yelled. 'The vandalism, fine. I take full responsibility. But we just want the button! You even seemed willing to give it to us at first! What happened?'

Kruller's leer hid his serious contemplation. He recalled wanting to give them what they desired, but he couldn't remember what made him change his mind. But he had changed his mind and he wasn't doing it again.

'Robbin' a police officer is a felony.' He said, dropping the matter almost entirely. 'And I'll see to it dat Ms Gravely gives youse da proper punishment.'

Daisy squeezed the bars of her prison as the lights illuminated brighter. The metal morphed to her fingers, but it just wasn't enough to break through.

Kruller picked up his walkie talkie from the desk. Still not on, man.

'Officer Kruller comin' t'ru. I have apprehended da criminals. Dey tried to steal my elevator button away from me. Very soon, I will deliver dem to Ms Gravely who shall do as she pleases. Over!'

He sat down in his desk chair, putting his head on his arms as he leaned back. Licking his lips, he reached for a box of donuts that had been resting on his desk.

'Ya done good, Kruller. Ya done good.'

Daisy turned around to Luigi. He remained in the middle of the dusty room, holding onto his flashlight for dear life.

'Luigi!'

'Huh?'

Her voice brought him back into reality, the cold reality of being trapped. The sound of the princess calling his name calmed his nerves, even if just a bit.

'Use Gooigi!' Daisy said. 'He can get through these bars.'

Luigi knocked his fist against his skull. _Gah, I'm so stupid! Why didn't I think of that before?_

He deployed Gooigi onto the floor, and took a few moments to get his bearings. The wobbly green filter still disoriented him, but the musty air seemed so much fresher when in the body of someone without lungs.

As he ran towards the gate, he noticed that he walked with much more balance now, without his jelly legs making him wobble all over the place. If Gooigi had a mouth, he'd smile; he was getting the hang of this new body faster that he thought he would.

'Show 'im, Luigi!'

Though the bars were close together, Gooigi slipped his viscous body through them with ease. Any rips in the goop reformed almost immediately. The fear he felt did not appear on his blank face.

Kruller glanced to his left as a green figure entered his point-of-view.

'OH GOODNESS!'

He didn't fall out of his chair this time - an improvement to be sure - but dropped his half-eaten cruller on the floor.

'How... how did youse get out? Mortals can't go t'ru walls! ... C-Can dey?'

It didn't take him long to realise that mortals typically weren't monochrome or made of gummy bears. He noticed the other man in green - the original - still in the middle of his cell like he fell asleep standing up.

'Dere's t'ree of youse?! Ms Gravely told me dere was only two of youse! Where did dis squishy guy come from?'

Gooigi stood still for a moment. This time, it wasn't due to any fear failing to show up like it did before, but instead because he didn't really _want_ to fight the guy.

_A wannabe hero who's scared of everything... who does that remind me of?_

He saw himself in that cop, trying his hardest to do his duty despite how terrified he really was. Alas, he had no way to have a nice conversation with him in this state.

'I-I already told youse!' Kruller yelled. 'You can't have dis button!'

'Not to rush you or anything...' Daisy said, still behind the bars obviously. 'But could BUST HIM already?!'

Gooigi nodded, the only real way he could confirm that he got her order. He approached the cop, emotion gone from his gooey face. In contrast, Kruller looked more and more horrified for each step he took.

'B-Back away! I-I have a weapon!'

The fear in his voice cut Gooigi to his core. For a moment, a very short moment, he stopped in place and debated his choice. Maybe there was something he could do to not bust Kruller. But he knew he needed that button, and despite his cowardice the cop seemed very determined to hang onto it.

_Let's just make it quick..._

He charged the Strobulb for half the time he normally did, and flashed Kruller without really paying attention as to where he was aiming it. The light consumed the ghost entirely.

Once the flash disappeared however, it revealed Kruller still sitting in his seat, as horrified as ever.

_Huh?_

'What?' Daisy questioned for Luigi. 'Why didn't that work?'

Gooigi didn't need to wonder for long. Experience from his time in Evershade Valley told him the answer. Just like what Greenies often employed, the dark sunglasses Kruller wore over his eyes negated anything the Strobulb would've done.

'_Dang it_.' He muttered, still not used to his distorted voice.

If he had any hope of getting that button back, he'd have to get those sunglasses off. And that's what the Poltergust was for.

Gooigi aimed his weapon at Kruller's face...

'F-FREEZE!' The cop yelled.

In one flawless movement, Kruller hoisted his aquatic weapon out of his holster and aimed it dead between Gooigi's eyes. His already-gelatine legs shook even more. And he couldn't understand why.

He had known from the beginning that the weapon was nothing more than a squirt gun. So why did he panic so much at the sight of it? What was it about a gun filled with a liquid that made him freak out, even in his normal body?

Suddenly he realised that he was in grave danger.

'Watch out for the-!' Daisy tried to warn.

Kruller fired his gun, and a stream of water hit Gooigi between the eyes. The moment the liquid made contact and trickled down his face, he could feel himself fading away.

He could feel every individual drop of goo disconnecting from every other drop. His legs dissolved and joined together into a single green puddle on the ground. The floor got closer and closer, like he was passing out.

Almost like quicksand, the growing puddle seemed to be consuming him. His hands dropped off and plummeted to the floor.

All the while, the process was totally painless. Granted, it was to be expected in a body that could barely feel pain to begin with, but it was still jarring to be literally sinking away and feeling none of it.

Gooigi expressed nothing more than the most mild of annoyance, but Luigi's mind raced through a hundred different incoherent thoughts. His vision turned into nothing more than a green swirl.

'Wah?'

He lifted his head back up and found himself back in the lost-and-found, locked behind bars.

'Huh? Where am...?'

Upon noticing that he was no longer surrounded by a slimy filter, he realised what just happened. He blinked a few times; the process went by so fast, he couldn't even tell how he got here. One second his entire body had dissolved, the next he was back to his regular self.

Kruller gaped at his water gun. 'Um... I did not expect dat to work.'

Luigi groaned. Just his luck that he needed to fight a water-gun-wielding cop in a body that melted upon contact with water. Between this and the duster-wielding maid, his track record did not look so hot.

'Dang it.' He muttered again.

His nerves tingled, like a harmless electric shock, drowning out whatever concerned sentence that Daisy was muttering. Glancing behind him, he saw that Gooigi had returned home.

'Oh... sei serio?'

'What are you complaining about?' Daisy said, not entirely sure what he said. 'Get back out there!'

Following her advice, he summoned Gooigi once again. As soon as he saw everything in green, he spun around and slipped through the gate again.

'What?!' Kruller yelled. 'B-But I shot youse! How did youse...?'

The cop readjusted his sunglasses and scowled. He pushed his chair away, though it was completely unnecessary, and floated around his desk while keeping his eye and gun pointed directly at the gooey being in front of him.

'Don't move a muscle.' He said. 'Or I'll shoot.'

Gooigi stood as still as a lucky cat statue; as if he'd do anything else in that body. How could he get rid of those sunglasses without getting closer and facing the splash zone?

'GRRR...!'

He turned his head - he had no pupils to move - to the sound, and saw Polterpup by his side snarling at the officer.

Kruller looked down to the mutt for just a moment. 'I've worked wit' dogs. I know how to handle youse. I-I t'ink.'

Polterpup looked up to his owner with anticipating eyes. He stood there like a loyal solider awaiting an order. Gooigi pointed at the sunglasses, and he understood the instruction completely.

'I'll need da two... three... uh, four? Yeah, da _four_ of youse to remain behind dose bars. Breakin' out of jail is a horrible crime and Ms Gravely will punish youse appropriately.'

Daisy groaned for a good three seconds. For each word that guard said about them being arrested or whatever, the bars in her hands got more and more crushed. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be enough.

Polterpup, just as fed up as she was, leapt past the cop's face. Before Kruller could even flinch, the spectral puppy snatched up the sunglasses right off his face.

'Huh? Hey!'

Giving Kruller a smug look, Polterpup chomped the glasses into nothing more than black shards on the floor.

Kruller gasped. 'D-Dat counts as destruction of property. At dis rate, your sentence will extend into da afterlife!'

In response, Polterpup turned around, shoved his rear into the air and waved it about. It was the closest he could get to flipping him off.

'Hey! Annoyin' a cop is definitely a crime! ... Maybe. I-I haven't read da rules in a while.'

Polterpup blinked at him.

'Oh! Uh, I mean... dat automatically adds an additional five years to your sentence! Over!'

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. Gooigi wasted no time, and beamed him in his exposed eyes.

Kruller shuddered from the sudden flash, and his vision turned to nothing but white. The sensation rendered him feeling helpless, even worse than the stories had him believe. And when the blinding light vanished, he found himself on the wrong end of a green vacuum cleaner.

He unleashed a scream nearly high-pitched enough to break glass. 'U-UNHAND ME! AT ONCE! ... P-Please?'

All he got from his assailant was a blank, apathetic stare.

'GETOFFMEGETOFFMEGETOFFME!'

Kruller, just like the other ghosts before, raced around the room and dragged Gooigi along with him, making clear circles around his desk. Through the translucent green skin, one could notice the purple ghostly specks that were flying off the ghoul's body travelling through the pipe and into storage.

The cop fired his weapon about randomly, not getting even close to his intended target. He _did_, however, succeed in splashing Daisy in the face.

She spat out some water. 'Yeah! Go Luigi!' She cheered, keeping one hand on the bars. 'Bust that cop! Show 'im what... for.'

Watching her man in green take out the guard with (relative) ease, her grip on the bars loosened. A nasty thought infested her mind.

_Wow_. She thought. _He doesn't really need me, does he?_

She looked at her gloves. What good was touching ghosts if you couldn't even reach them? She glanced back at Luigi, who was still hunched over in a mostly-unconscious state.

It was just the Poltergust though, right? All she'd have to do was take it, wear it on _her_ back, and then _she'd_ be controlling Gooigi herself.

She took one step, and stopped herself.

_No, I can't._ She thought. _I wouldn't know to use the dang thing._

'_Ow!_' Gooigi yelled.

Daisy snapped back to the fight scene, seeing Gooigi lying face down on the floor and Kruller panting heavily in front of him.

'Dat's what you... get for... attackin' a... police officer...' Kruller said in between puffs.

The lights on the gloves began to glow intensely. How dare he shake off her Luigi like that! The bars, even if just barely, bent in her hands.

Kruller reached into his pocket and pulled out another pair of sunglasses, except this pair more resembled Groucho glasses. Why on Earth he had those on his person was yet to be seen, and irrelevant as he placed them over his eyes.

'FREEZE!'

Gooigi lifted his face off the floor, and found himself staring down the barrel of a gun. A water gun held by a very shaky hand, but a gun nonetheless.

'M-Ms Gravely has given me an order, and under n-no circumstances can I disobey her! So I-I suggest you drop your weapon and cease fire immediately.'

The conscious being inside Gooigi struggled to look at the ghost before him. Every stutter only served to remind him of himself. At that moment, he cursed his apathetic body. If only he didn't need Gooigi for this fight, he could say so much.

_I'm so sorry, Officer. I don't want to hurt you. I know what it's like to want to be a hero, only for your fears to let you down. Please, don't fight me. You don't have to. I'll deal with Ms Gravely myself. Just give us the button and we'll leave._

Only one thing came out.

'_I understand_.'

Those two simple words, containing only four syllables, made Kruller stop shaking.

'Y-Youse understand?'

Gooigi nodded. Though he was far from the best at reading subtle facial cues without keeping up a few dozen unintended ones (and the hazy green filter did not help), he guessed from the relaxing arms and small frown that his message got across.

Maybe Kruller thought he meant 'I understand why you have to do this', or 'I know what it's like having crippling fears'. It didn't matter. Kruller understood him.

Only Luigi could take a conversation with a cop ghost wearing Groucho-glasses seriously.

'RUFF RUFF!'

Polterpup, seeing an opportunity, left the remains of the old sunglasses and leapt at the new pair.

Without even flinching, Kruller grabbed on his collar and held him in place. He did so without a hint of fear on his face, when in reality it was his terror that let him commit such a feat in the first place.

_That's right._ Ms Gravely's voice spoke to him. _Make me proud. Show the others that you're more than just a coward. Keep that green man locked away and become everyone's hero._

Kruller nodded. 'I will make youse proud, boss.' He said seemingly to himself in a monotone voice. 'I will help youse catch dis man.'

Gooigi got to his knees and went to grab his Poltergust. The closer his hand got to the nozzle, the closer Kruller was to pulling the trigger.

'I can and _will_ fire. I am willin' to hurt you. Don't even try.'

All of the fear in his voice had vanished, replaced with nothing, like another force had taken over his mind. Gooigi couldn't believe it.

_What... happened to you?_

Daisy, however, didn't care about his sudden change in attitude, as jarring as it was. Rage boiled up inside her, and the lights on her gloves couldn't be any brighter.

And in this situation, she cared not to keep her anger under control.

'HEY!' She shouted.

Unbeknownst to her, she bent not just the bars in her hands but several at once. It created a hole in the gate that, while a bit of a squeeze, she and Luigi could slip through without a doubt. She breathed heavily; she may not have noticed, but it took a great deal of her energy.

Kruller turned his head to her in an instant, and just as quickly his usual terrified expression came back to him.

'W-What?! H... how?' He stammered. 'I-I-I wasn't told dat mortals could do dat!'

His eyes darted to Gooigi, just quickly enough that the cop didn't notice while the gelatine man was about to do. With Kruller distracted, Gooigi hopped to his feet, and pressed both the 'blow' and 'suck' buttons at once.

Air burst from the back of his Poltergust - or should that be 'Poltergoo'? - launching it upwards. Unlike Luigi's, which brought him into the air by its shoulder straps, a solid mass of goo connected the Poltergust to Gooigi's back, dragging him up with it.

Just as he wanted, Kruller rolled backwards onto the floor, let go of Polterpup, and - most importantly - lost his sunglasses for a second time. He had just a moment to realise that his best defence was gone.

'Uh oh...' He muttered, milliseconds before Gooigi enveloped him in a bright green light.

The gooey ghostbuster, desiring to get it over with, got him into the Poltergust immediately. Kruller dragged him about, but Gooigi couldn't help but notice that keeping his tether was far easier this time around.

'I ADMIT IT, HELLEN!' Kruller shouted as loudly as he could. 'I never wanted to do dis! I'M SCARED, HELLEN! I knew da green bud was too strong... I knew he would capture me! BUT YOUSE MADE ME DO IT ANYWAY!'

Hearing such desperate cries for... not help, but something else entirely... almost made Gooigi give up and let him go. Almost.

'I'm not brave like da others. I KNOW DAT, HELLEN! Just fire me already... I DON'T WANNA DO DIS ANYMORE!'

If Gooigi could, he'd smile. It'd be a bittersweet smile to be sure, but he had at least one happy thought right now.

_At least he won't have to work for Ms Gravely anymore..._

He could feel his grip of Kruller get extra tight, and with a simple flick of the Poltergust sent him flying through the air and crashing into the ground. Gooigi grunted; the big ghost had been the hardest thing to slam yet.

The next few slams came in quick succession, not relenting once as all Gooigi wanted was to help this guard out. With each slam, Kruller's pull weakened. Whether he was losing strength or the will to fight, Gooigi didn't want to know.

After what seemed like an eternity of bashes for the both of them, Kruller finally gave up. He smiled for a moment, before wincing.

'I'M SO SORRY, HELLEN!'

And that was the last thing he said before he disappeared into the Poltergust, leaving nothing behind except for dissipating purple specks of energy. The nozzle rattled as a yellow light emerged from inside it. Gooigi got hit with nasty recoil as the elevator button burst from its prison and landed gracefully on the desk.

Gooigi let the whole situation sink in for a moment.

'Yeah! Luigi did it!' He cried with his fists in the air. 'Huh?'

No more green filter. He saw Gooigi slumping in the middle of the room, and it took him a few good seconds to realise that Daisy was dragging him by the underarms. No longer was he in the lost-and-found. In fact, Daisy just got done carrying his foot through the hole she made.

'Oh, you're awake.' She said nonchalantly, settling him down on the floor.

Luigi looked around, noticing that the only thing he could hear was a 'shining' sound emitted by the button.

He tapped his fingers on his flashlight. 'Um, do you think we could free him?'

'WHAT?!'

He flinched, even thought he got exactly what he expected. Daisy, noticing his shock, cleared her throat and rather pointlessly brushed hair out of her face.

'Y-You really wanna do that?' She asked. 'He arrested us!'

'I know, but... he didn't want to do it. And I... I know what it's like. You know, to be scared.'

Daisy sighed. 'Look, if it makes you feel any better, who knows what would've happened to him if you didn't catch him. I doubt Ms Gravely would've forgiven him for failing.'

This thought brought a smile to his face, albeit a small one. The sparkling light of the elevator button helped him forget about the poor ghost he just had to bust. As he picked it up, something else piqued his curiosity. Underneath the button lay two documents, a couple newspaper articles to be exact. He spun them around to face him, and his eyes widened.

'What number is it?' Daisy asked.

Luigi peered at the date of the older paper. 'September 14, 1947.'

She blinked. 'Uh, I meant the button.'

He glanced at the button, caring more for the newspaper. 'Two.'

Daisy leaned over his shoulders, and mouthed an understanding 'oh'. The headline jumped out to them.

**OFFICER KRULLER, A MALL HERO**

It had a picture of a pudgy but still defined human security guard who highly resembled Kruller. It didn't take a genius to put the pieces together.

Luigi knew that he had to continue his mission, but he refused to let these newspapers go without being read.

_New Donk City is once again saved from an armed robbery by town hero Officer Paul Kruller. The Rambi Mall was under attack by an assailant armed to the teeth. To keep the cops off him, he had kidnapped a young boy, Johnny Deepend (6), who he threatened to murder if the police got too close._

_Paul Kruller, however, swooped in and caught the crook by surprise. He freed the young boy and reunited him with his family, but not before he had the criminal in handcuffs._

'_He's my hero!' Johnny has been reported to say._

Luigi chuckled. It read less like a formal newspaper and more like the writing of an excited fan. His eyes drifted over to the next paper, dated for November 18 1947, and the headline made him gasp.

**TRAGEDY BEFALLS NEW DONK CITY, OFFICER KRULLER SHOT ON THE JOB**

_New Donk City has suffered a great tragedy. Beloved security guard Paul Kruller, known for his heroic yet friendly attitude, has lost his life at the tragically young age of 35._

_The Rambi Mall was under attack by a shooter, who had taken three lives before finally being stopped. Kruller had stepped in to save young Johnny Deepend (6), and took the bullet for him._

'_I can't believe we lost him.' Kruller's team mate 'Long John' said. 'I didn't think we'd ever lose such a dear friend. If his soul is still with us, he must feel awful. Not just because he lost his life, but because he'll forever feel guilty for failing to save those poor three people.'_

'Oh my gosh, Luigi! Are you okay?!'

Only once Daisy called out to him did he realise that he was crying. The words became a blurry mess, for more reasons than one. He wiped his wet eyes, which did nothing to stop the tears from flowing.

'Luigi? Luigi! Sweetie, speak to me!'

Daisy knew what made him act like this. She had read both the articles herself. But what merely bummed her out affected him on a whole other level.

_He was a hero... but then he... and I..._

Luigi couldn't handle it anymore. Giving up on any sense of dignity or social boundaries, he wrapped his arms around Daisy and cried into her chest.

The sudden embrace shocked her, as it would do to any normal person, but she did nothing to shake him off. She placed one arm around his back, and gently stroked his hair with the other.

She said nothing; no words could possibly help him. No matter how much the tears and mucus stained her outfit, she had him locked in her soft hug. Polterpup couldn't stand to see his owner upset, and hugged him as tight as the ghostly dog could. No hug he could manage was tight enough.

Luigi's emotional display could seem rather extreme; he was either blank as a piece of wood, or crying his eyes out until he had no more tears left. Even he didn't understand what brought on his intense emotions sometimes.

'He... he was a hero, Daisy. He-he just wanted to be a hero again. A-And I-'

'Shhh... I know. There's nothing we can do, so let's not fret over it.'

Through the tears, he began to smile. He loved the feeling of someone, anyone, running their fingers through his hair. It relaxed any panicked nerve that he had.

She flinched; the Virtual Boo starting ringing. Luigi didn't shift in the slightest, apparently too deep into the embrace to notice anything else around him. The VB continued to ring uninterrupted. Eventually, E. Gadd got the hint and stopped.

Luigi slowly opened his eyes, and settled them on the elevator button.

_It's okay, Officer. I'll take down Ms Gravely. For you. And Steward. And, um... Chambrea, I think her name was? Yes, for them._

He broke away from the warm embrace, now filled with shaky determination, and grabbed the button. Floor 2... wasn't that the Mezzanine? A bit disappointing, considering that he could already go there, but anything got him closer to his goal of liberating not just his brother but the staff as well.

'Let's-a go!' He said, with more optimism than either person expected. 'Come on, boy!'

With Polterpup by his side and the button in his hand, he ran out the door.

'Wait, Luigi!' Daisy said. 'What about Goo-?'

As Luigi made his way through the door, Gooigi gave him a thumbs-up before dissolving into droplets and returning to the Poltergust G-00.

'Oh. Alright then.'

And she followed after her partner, to wherever the new button took him.

* * *

_**OFFICER KRULLER, THE COWARDLY COP**_

_AGE - 35_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Shot on the job_

_Paul Kruller had always worked as a security guard, taking great pride in both justice and donuts. In fact, he doesn't care at all that he lost his life during a shooting. But it seems to have scarred him, leading to him being far more cowardly than he used to be._

* * *

**Author Notes - Behind every comedic character is the potential to make them far less comedic in hindsight. In other words, Kruller is definitely my favourite Boss Ghost so far. A lot like in the game, actually. In fact, I'm actually a little worried. I'm not sure if any Boss Ghost from here on out will be nearly as good as him. I love just about everything I did with him. I will bloody try, though.**

**Before we say ANYTHING ELSE, the circumstances around Kruller's death are NOT supposed to be any sort of political commentary. Note the era he died in, i.e. not ours.**

**The kid Kruller saved when he was alive was originally 'Lindsey Kahdabrah', who IS the Lindsey you're thinking off. Then I changed how the Twisted Sisters died, in a totally different era. So now it's Johnny Deepend.**

**Daisy believing that she might be useless came from how I noticed that I wasn't really giving her much to do. So, instead of simply fixing that issue, I worked it into the story. Whether or not that's the lazy way out is up to you.**

**Why do we as Australians spell 'meager' as 'meagre'? Why do we do this?**

**This ending flashback is inspired by something that happened to me when I was in primary school. The biggest difference being that the principal of Luigi's school was actually on his side.**

* * *

'_Mrs Lucinda, your youngest son has kicked another student.' The principal said from the other side of the phone._

_Martin and Lucinda refused to believe it. Luigi was the sweetest little kid they knew, and the thought of him hurting someone was laughable. Even more shocking when it turned out the victim was Waluigi, one of the few kids he got along well with. Well, not anymore._

'_My son would never kick anyone!' Lucinda complained to the Koopa Troopa principal, slamming her hands down on his desk. 'You must be lying to make him look bad! It wouldn't be beneath this school.'_

'_What makes you think you can get away with accusing our son?' Martin demanded._

'_Um... M-Momma?'_

_Eight-year-old Luigi sat in the corner of the office, guilt strong in his face. Close to breaking down into tears, he managed to tell the truth._

'_I... I __**did**_ _kick him. And... I-I think it hurt.'_

_Both Martin and Lucinda stared at him in total shock._ _They couldn't even get angry. Lucinda knelt down and wrapped her arm around him._

'_But... but why?' She asked._

'_I...' He gulped. 'I don't know. I-I told him it was time to go to class, he ignored me, and I-' He could say no more._

_Now his parents were even more shocked. Surely if he _were _to kick someone, it'd be for a bigger reason than that. _

_Unless the stress had been piling up, and being ignored one more time was the straw that broke the Yoshi's back. Stress that he wasn't expressing._

_She pulled him into an embrace while Martin glared right at the principal._

'_So you're not going to question why my normally passive son just kicked someone?!' He yelled. 'Some school this is!'_

'_On the contrary, Martin.' The principal said, remaining calm. 'I am very concerned about Luigi and his wellbeing. A seemingly unprovoked attack like this could be a sign of something more that he is failing to express. I suggest you see a psychiatrist as soon as possible.'_

_Martin and Lucinda took his advice, though they were sure there wasn't anything wrong with their little green angel._

_They were so glad they did._

'_W-whatever I did wrong... I-I'm sorry.'_

_They sat Luigi down in his room, so they could finally explain it to the best of their ability._

'_You've done nothing wrong, Luigi.' Martin said, patting his back._

'_We just have to... talk.' Lucinda added, hesitantly._

_The parents looked at each other, debating how to start._

'_Is it about the doctors we've been visiting?' Luigi asked. 'Did... did they find something wrong with me?'_

_Lucinda took a deep breath, and decided to bite the bullet._

'_Luigi, you have autism.'_


	8. Putting Him to Rest-Aurant

**Author Notes - I swear, if the revelation at the very end of the last chapter gets me accusations of 'not portraying it correctly', I will break something.**

**As for why I decided to do it... why not? After all, it's an issue I deeply care about for obvious reasons. This was just meant to be a different interpretation of Luigi's character. It's not necessarily a headcanon, but after reading other Mario fanfics where they (likely unintentionally) imply this, I thought it'd be a neat idea for this story.**

**It will be referenced throughout the entire story, but not in a way that overtakes Luigi's character or the narrative. I'm trying to spread the message that it's just a **_**part**_ **of who he is, after all. Also, I've already done it and it's too late for me to back out now.**

**ANYWAY, the Mezzanine! Interesting in that you fight the boss at around the half-way point instead of the end. And poor Chef Soulfflé doesn't get a whole lotta screen time because of it.**

**Thanks to BabyWeegee07 and TrimusicaDrag00n90 for the favourites, and TheGameNguyener (oh, hello there) for the follow!**

**Also TGN's chapter title 'Hellens Kitchen' is so much better than mine.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT - PUTTING HIM TO REST-AURANT**

'Whoop!'

The elevator button to the second floor flew out of Luigi's hand and into place. He got up close and personal with the button now in its correct spot, and peered at it.

'Why do they do that?' He asked.

Daisy shrugged. 'You really gonna question how a haunted hotel works?'

'Maybe the buttons are returning home?'

She chuckled to herself. His innocence and oddball comments never failed to make her soul glow. Even the lights on her gloves beamed alongside her.

'Maybe we should make like those buttons,' She said. 'And find our friends so _we_ can return home.'

He nodded. 'Y-Yeah. Good idea.'

* * *

Quite frankly, Luigi saw the button for floor two to be a little redundant. One could easily walk up and down the stairs in the grand lobby, after all. At least the basement was a bit of a pain to get to if you took the stairs.

As he stepped out the doors and glanced around, he hoped deep in his heart that he'd see the lobby in its sparkly gold glory. He prayed that the welcoming light of day had returned and the nightmare had ended.

Yet, as he saw the lobby no different than before, he was not too disappointed at all. Honestly, he doubted that life would be that fair to him.

Daisy leaned on the guard rails, looking over the room like she was on the edge of a cruise ship. She had a small smile on her face, as if wanting to jump into the pretend water.

'I still think this place looks pretty cool.' She said. 'Well, not so much after they tried to kill us.'

'ARF!'

Both mortals turned to the excitable ghost dog, who had his nose in the air and was sniffing about. His tail wagged as he picked up a great variety of scents, just about all of them delicious. He scampered towards the yummy aromas, running around the corner, and jumped through a door at the end of the path.

'Wait boy!' Luigi said, running after him. 'Where are you going?'

He just barely saw Polterpup phase through the door. It seemed a little familiar to him, and he quickly realised why - it was the same door he had passed by after he had rescued E. Gadd. It even still had all those cleaning supplies in front of it, all stacked on a rickety cart.

'I, uh, haven't actually explored past this door.' He explained to Daisy. 'So we might find another button on the other side.'

'That just gives us more incentive to check it out!' She said, aiming the Poltergust at the supplies for him. 'Plunger it already!'

Luigi wasn't quite sure what made her jump straight to 'plunger', but he did notice the flat surface of the side of the cart. He fired without needing to aim - Daisy did it already - and the plunger stuck onto that flat surface without a problem, a surefire sign that it would work.

He got the rope into his Poltergust, and turned to his fair maiden. 'You should step back.'

Daisy nodded, and stepped to the side. Luigi hoisted that cart over his head, and the moment it slammed into the ground it shattered completely.

He cringed as the debris settled. 'It doesn't feel right, destroying all their stuff like this.'

Daisy scoffed. 'What? After they kidnapped your brother? They should be thankful you haven't bombed this entire freaking hotel yet!'

He pushed the door open, gulping. Having no idea what lay beyond filled him with dread. For all he knew, he'd open up to a lamb being sacrificed, or the walls suddenly closing in until it squished them both into putty.

Which is why he couldn't be more relieved to see nothing more than a regular, surprisingly well-lit hallway. The red rug that stretched all the way from one end to the other had beautiful golden accents, and was clearly washed often. The walls were well-painted with hardly any chipping, and the lights functioned perfectly. It looked like something straight out of a real, non-haunted hotel. And thank Grambi for that.

Aside from the wanted posters on the wall. They served to remind Luigi that he was still a victim of a trap.

Daisy stepped through the door and marvelled at the sight. 'Ooh. Wow! Is this even the same hotel?' She then noticed the posters. 'Oh, right. Of course.'

Grumbling to herself something about the ghosts 'treating Luigi like a bounty', she ripped one off from the wall, crumbled it into a ball and tossed it onto the floor. Luigi stared at it for a few moments, and sucked it up into his vacuum; no way his neat freak nature could deal with that.

Polterpup had already made it down most of the hallway, roughly where it branched off to the bathrooms. He stood by what appeared to be a knocked-over food cart, investigating all the spilled food. More specifically, he sniffed at a big chunk of cheese that Luigi could smell all the way from the entrance. He personally disliked the aroma, but to each his own; he preferred provolone himself.

'Yip yip!'

Polterpup snatched the piece of cheese up into his jaw, and ran off with it like _anyone_ was going to take it from him. Dietary rules do not apply to ghosts.

Luigi, who had found himself staring at a loose thread in the carpet, noticed his pet going off without him. 'Hey! Why do you keep running off?'

It seemed that, after all this time hanging out with the brothers, Polterpup had picked up Mario's appetite. He carried the cheese with him through the golden doors at the end of the hallway, the doors that led to the restaurant.

'Welp, I guess that's where we're going.' Daisy said, scrunching up another poster. 'Let's-a go, sweetie.'

He stared at the paper ball on the floor, before he ran after Daisy who was already half-way there.

The doors to the restaurant shone under the artificial lights, in a similar manner to the hotel's masquerade. The wood underneath the gold paint appeared to have been hand-carved, decorated with a meal fit for a Greek pantheon. Luigi rubbed his hands over the carved grapes, letting every bump in the wood sink in. His eyes sparkled at the impressive craftsmanship. He could feel the heart poured into every inch.

'Should I leave you and the door alone for a moment?' Daisy said.

He yelped, and his cheeks flared up when he noticed Daisy looking at him with a cheeky grin. The joke made him laugh, but in his state it came out like he was suffocating on laughing gas.

'I, uh, really like the carving.' He said.

'That's fine. It's a really nice carving! But now isn't the time to marvel it, unfortunately. We've got a doggy to find.'

Luigi took one last look at the gorgeous woodwork, and opened up the beautiful doors. Before he even got a good look at the place, several aromas greeted him. Though they all combined into a bit of a mess that was hard to decipher, he could identify several kinds of pastry, more cheese, and even some wine.

Daisy inhaled the lovely smells in the air. 'Oh, I gotta meet the chef. If this stuff tastes half as good as it smells...!'

Once he got over the aroma equivalent of a cacophony, he looked around. The door delivered them to the reception, of which no one was serving. It had a comfy-looking couch that he really wanted to lay down on.

Among the clean furniture and the fresh fruits being shown off on a high shelf, what caught his attention was actually the menu that had been printed on a sign. It had a large list of all the food that consumers could order, and it had quite the variety - everything between basic fish-n-chips to a complex lasagne, the latter in particular making him salivate.

Luigi couldn't make out much else, as most of it had been scribbled over with a red marker. Not in a calm, regular manner either. Whoever had crossed out the items did so with clear rage and bitterness.

It had a note on the bottom, written in the same manner as the rest - 'By the orders of Ms Hellen Gravely'.

'Found him!' Daisy announced.

Polterpup had gone past the reception and into the dining room, and hopped onto the display shelf that extended all the way down to the other end of the long room. Various pastries and cheeses showed off their delectable appearances and smells.

The baguettes in particular attracted the dog with the smell of its crispy crust. He picked up an entire loaf with his mouth, and vanished into the wall to eat his spoils in peace.

'I think we're doing this mission as a duo, sweetie.' Daisy said.

Luigi gulped, without realising it. Watching his pet disappear the way he did filled his mind with unpleasant thoughts. It sent him back to the previous two ghost-capturing adventures, when he had no one around but himself.

He knew he had Daisy still, but with Polterpup gone - if only for a few minutes - his anxieties drifted him to awful places.

_D-Daisy's not gonna leave me too, is she? Per favore no... I can't do this alone. Not again. I can't handle another-_

'Hey, Luigi? You see that?'

Only when she spoke up did Luigi realise that he had both his hands grasping the flashlight, strumming his fingers against it in a rhythmic manner.

_Please don't leave me, il mio fiore_... He wanted to tell her.

He put those fears aside; he knew she wouldn't really leave him, on purpose anyway.

She pointed over to the other side of the restaurant, where the doors to the kitchen lay. Heavy black smoke seeped out through the tiny gap between the top of the doors and the wall, before it dissipated into the air.

If the restaurant had nearly as many patrons as it usually did, the mortals wouldn't be able to hear the voice on the other side of the doors.

'Hoh _hoh_! Now zis... yes, zis! Zis shall be my comeback. With Ms Gravely distracted, I can finally create a chef-d'oeuvre!'

Daisy grinned as she stepped down the stairs from the reception and into the dining room. Luigi gawked at how shiny and reflective the patterned tiles were; he could see an upside-down Daisy almost perfectly in that shine.

'My gut tells me the next elevator button lies behind those doors.' She said. 'Come on.'

Luigi followed her onto that beautiful tiled floor, and gasped.

'What?' Daisy asked.

'Shh! Over there.' He whispered.

He motioned to a table far off in the corner. Unlike the others, that were totally empty, this one had five Goobs sitting at it. Each had a cream-filled pastry laid out in front of them, and a couple of them had glasses of wine to go with them.

One of them gulped down her wine and slammed the glass back onto the table. 'And then she says to me, _go tell Serpci to take down those horrid banners!_' She said, mockingly imitating her boss's voice.

All the other ghosts gasped and groaned.

One nearly choked on his meal. 'Wait, you serious? Serpci loves those banners. They're of her hero! Doesn't Ms Gravely know she'll get hell for even trying that?'

A third sipped at his wine and scoffed. 'You think that's bad? I heard she ordered Dr Potter to carve that king's mug into every plant he had. Have fun convincing Old Man Ramos to defile his friends like that.'

A fourth laughed so hard, crumbs came flying out of her mouth. 'Pffft, really? And I thought forcing Amadeus to play King Boo's favourite tune for a whole night was awful!'

The last one didn't say anything. He was too busy burying his face in his arms and groaning in pain to properly contribute. If he could, he'd bring up Ms Gravely's order for Gloria to 'stop that infernal racket'. When Amadeus was in earshot no less.

Luigi gulped. 'L-Let's-a try to avoid them for now.'

Daisy sighed in disappointment while Luigi put his back up against the display shelf.

'Well, I guess we can't waste time capturing ghosts when we don't need to.' She said, joining him against the wall.

The two shuffled along as the five Goobs continued to rant among themselves about their awful boss and her stupid and rather tyrannical decisions. To Luigi, it felt like he was balancing on a ledge, and any wrong move would send him hurtling to his doom. To Daisy, it felt a little tedious.

Luigi didn't even breathe as he got closer and closer to the door and the ghosts. With how quiet he was, and how enwrapped in their own conversation the Goobs were, the belief that they'd make it slowly grew stronger.

'Almost there, Luigi...' Daisy whispered.

He stopped dead. His head bumped into _something_, and it sent signals directly to his brain to stop moving instantly. Daring to move his eyes just a little, he saw a big bottle of wine standing on the edge just barely in his way.

And it was wobbling.

_Oh no..._

'Luigi? What's the hold-up?'

Exactly how he dreaded, the bottle moved in every which way and settled on falling towards the floor.

'No no no...!'

***SMASH***

He cringed. The bottle crashed into the floor and shattered, scattering wine and glass shards everywhere and filling the room with that awful cracking noise.

Daisy jumped. 'Oh my goodness!'

Any hope that Luigi had that the ghosts might not have heard that were immediately dashed when they all - with the exception of the silent one who had fallen to the floor - turned around to look at him, wondering what the heck that crash was about.

'George?' The first ghost guessed as she turned around. 'You being a complete idiot aga-?'

All five faces lit up at the sight of Luigi standing there like a practise target. Past his scared face, he mentally hit himself.

_Gah... I'm such a klutz!_

'Woo-hoo! We've done it!' The Goob who choked on his food yelled, throwing his fist into the air. 'We'll make it big now!'

The laughing one played an air guitar. 'Oh yeah! That prize money is ours!'

The silent Goob tapped on the shoulder of his friend (the one sipping his wine) and pointed at the princess standing next to their target. The friend peered at her, and gasped.

'Guys, guys!' He cried. 'That's the princess!'

'The who?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Ya know? The one who bashed Harold into particles with her _bare hands_?'

All five looked at her closer. She waved to them, and with that the gaggle of Goobs proceeded to panic and fly around the room.

'Run away! Run away!'

'Princess on the loose!'

'Everyone panic!'

'There's no need to-'

'I SAID PANIC!'

While Luigi stared in shock, Daisy giggled. She took a bit too _much_ delight out of watching the ghosts freaking out.

'Yeah, that's right!' She declared. 'Better be careful or I'll kick your ass!'

Luigi gasped. Such... language! Even if Daisy didn't mind dropping the occasion cuss when necessary, it still shocked him every time. It probably had to do with how he, Mario, and Peach practically never swore.

It only made the ghosts panic more. If anyone listened carefully, they could almost hear Ms Gravely's expectations for her staff plummeting onto the floor.

Daisy grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. 'They're distracted. Let's book it!'

She dragged him like he was just an empty toy wagon. And he resisted about as much as one, too busy thinking about what just happened. That this entire thing could've been avoided if he had his crud together.

_Geez... between this and the Mammoshka, I really need to improve my track record._

'Come on!' Daisy said. 'Let's get in here!'

She pushed the door open, and brought both herself and Luigi inside. He resisted the urge to sneeze as the smell of heavy smoke hit him like a truck.

'Ooh, that ain't good...' Daisy said, wrinkling her nose.

The otherwise clean and fancy kitchen, loaded to the brim with various and aromatic ingredients stacked neatly on the shelves, had its beauty ruined by a big black cloud of smoke that covered up the entire other half of it. The choky smell overwhelmed that of the ingredients.

'I would like to see Ms Gravely see through _zis_ smog! Prend ça, patron!' A voice announced from the heavy cloud.

Luigi shuddered; he could just barely sense a ghost hiding in the dark smog. He heard the ghost humming, and something being flipped in a frying pan.

'Hey buddy!' Daisy called to the ghost, waving smoke out of her face. 'Could ya clear this up please?'

The flipping sounds continued, though the humming stopped.

'I understand zat zee smoke is somewhat overwhelming. Let it be know zat I am doing so on purpose.'

Daisy groaned. 'Really? Why?'

'Why? You silly mortals ask _why_? You should be grateful zat I am not whacking you with my frying pan as we speak.'

Amongst all that smog, Luigi saw the dim shine of an elevator button.

He stared at the smoke, judging whether or not he could get through. Quickly he realised that he was a fool for even considering that for a moment. Trying not to sneeze from the very smell of it alone was hard enough.

Then he remembered the weapon on his back. He picked up his Poltergust nozzle, and began sucking in large amounts of the noxious smoke. Just like clouds of dust, it disappeared into the vacuum without a problem.

'Ooh, clever!' Daisy said. 'Buuut... I don't think you have enough power.'

It was one of those rare times that she hated being right. While Luigi's Poltergust had made a noticeable dent in the fog, they didn't seem any closer to exposing the ghost within it. If anything, any smoke sucked up got replaced by even more smoke.

Daisy snapped her fingers. 'Hey, I got an idea! I bet if you and Gooigi used both your Poltergusts at once, you'd have enough power to suck it all up! E. Gadd mentioned being able to do something like that, right?'

'Yeah, he did! It's worth a try.'

He deployed Gooigi, and now the process of switching over to the green-filtered view with the wobbly legs felt as natural as walking for him. It really did feel like Gooigi was just another limb to work with.

Daisy, on the other hand, still laughed like a solider trying to keep himself sane. 'Why?' She muttered. 'Why is that so creepy?'

Gooigi got right into sucking up the smoke, and through his translucent skin Daisy could see the smoke travelling through the pipe before it seemingly vanished into nothing.

The food flipping stopped again.

'Hm? I cannot say for certain what it is you mortals are doing. But I can say zat it does not concern me.'

'We'll see about that!' Daisy said.

Sure that Gooigi was in a prime position, Luigi switched back to his own body and activated the Poltergust alongside his unconscious gooey counterpart. Just like Daisy had predicted, the smoke began to actually disappear.

The horrid smell went away with it, and now Luigi could properly appreciate the amazing aroma of those ingredients. The dissipating smoke gave away to reveal a clean gas stove, a couple of empty sinks, and - most importantly - a ghost.

You can tell he was important as, unlike the slightly monstrous Goobs and Hammers, he looked much more humanoid. He donned a less-than-clean chef's outfit with an oversized mushroom hat, a very appropriate outfit considering his job.

He had a fish, a _whole_ fish at that, sizzling in his frying pan. The fish got flipped many times for that perfect subtle but crispy cook. Only this chef could have any idea how to make this work. The guy was so into his cooking that he didn't notice his smoky veil gone.

'It will be a simple creation to be sure.' He said, before deeply inhaling the nautical aroma. 'But zee simple meals can be just as good as zee...'

His voice trailed off when he noticed his lack of a cover. His attention fell over to the two green guys and the princess staring at him. Who noticed him staring at _them_.

'AHHHH!' Luigi yelped.

Daisy just waved, while Gooigi did absolutely nothing.

The chef's grasp on his frying pan tightened, and his hands shook. 'You... you destroyed my secretive veil...'

Luigi gulped; he could feel the slowly rising rage. His eyes darted over to the fish in the pan, which slid down the sizzling surface thanks to the oil.

***plop***

The fish dropped unceremoniously to the floor.

'Uh oh...'

The chef glanced down to his ruined creation staring back at him. He looked back at the Italian man, his eye twitching very, very noticeably.

'Uh, we can clean that up for you.' Daisy offered.

Okay, forget trying to control his temper! He slammed his pan onto his burner, for the specific purpose of creating an incredibly loud CLANK to get their attention. Luigi cringed as the sound attacked his ear drums.

'Hey, calm down!' Daisy yelled, adopting a more serious look. 'It's just one fish.'

'DO YOU MORTALS REALISE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!'

She crossed her arms. 'We made you drop a _single fish_, and that was mostly on you by the way. You'll be fine.'

'Stop your insolence AT ONCE, you fauteur de troubles!'

Before she could even think, he chucked his frying pan right at her head. The big metal implement slammed into her face, lifting her off her feet for a moment as the vibrations shook her entire body.

'Ah! Daisy!' Luigi cried.

She remained upright, somehow, but couldn't even stand for two seconds without wobbling all over the place. A derpy expression popped up on her face.

'Daisy, are you okay?'

She looked at him and giggled. 'Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, g'eh Luigi?'

His mind just stopped, requiring a lot of power to process that utter non-sequitur.

'Uh... what?'

'I hope she made lotsa SPAGHETTI!'

***THUD***

That glorious statement was her last words as unconsciousness overtook her. She fell to the floor flat on her face.

'Ahh! Daisy!'

And that dread of being alone came back to him. The dread only magnified when he realised he had a very peeved off chef ghost looking right at him. The anger coming off every part of the ghost's body made Gus T look like a ray of sunshine.

'Do you mortals realise what you have done?!' The chef yelled, staring dead into Luigi's soul.

Luigi tried to ignore Daisy on the floor, a feat that required much effort, and focus on the chef wishing death upon him.

'Uh... n-n-no?'

The chef sighed for five seconds in complete and utter frustration. He pulled on his red hair hard enough for it to stretch like rubber.

'You and your confounded friend destroyed my hazy vein, crétin!'

Luigi held his hands up and backed away slowly.

'I-I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you mean.'

'Zee _smoke_, niais! ZEE SMOKE! What, did you assume zat I would set fire to my creations by _accident_? What kind of chef do you zink I am?!'

The fact that he wasn't frying up the mortal's head at this very moment showed restraint. The idiot's stupid comment scraped against what little sanity he had left.

'I-I admit, I'm not quite sure who you are.'

'YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!' The ghost yelled. 'I am Chef Gordon Soulfflé, zee BEST and ONLY chef for MILES AROUND!'

Luigi jumped, and covered his head with his arms that he held up defensively. He didn't want to look, and embraced himself for a frying pan to the face.

No attack ever came. He dared to look again, and saw Chef Soulfflé no longer giving him the death glare, but now burying his face into his hands and growling through gritted teeth.

'Of course you would've never heard of me.' He said, far calmer in comparison but still obviously furious. 'But my boss is so ennuyeux and exigeante! How can I make myself known when she's around?'

Luigi couldn't understand the language he occasionally lapsed into, but he doubted that was even remotely positive. Lucky for Soulfflé, his boss couldn't understand a lick of French. As far as she was aware, he just called her exquisite and extravagant.

'So, uh, what was with all that smoke?' Luigi asked, reaching for the Strobulb.

'Is it not obvious?! My boss has cameras absolutely everywhere! I believe zere's four of zem in my cooler alone. If I have any hope of creating my masterpieces, I must hide myself with any means I have!'

Daisy slowly, _very_ slowly, began coming to. After all, if one is unconscious for any longer than a minute or two then there's a serious problem. The world was still a badly-animated haze of fifty toasters and opening doors, and the two voices she could hear blended together into nonsense.

'B-But why would you need to do that?'

'Did you not SEE zee menu at zee entrance? Did you not notice how RUINED it was?!'

The scribbled-over menu came to Luigi's mind.

'Actually, I-I did. Why was it like that?'

'It was Ms Gravely's orders!' Soulfflé cried, slamming his fist directly into the fire that couldn't hurt his ethereal skin. 'She guised it under zee impression of saving resources, but I know it's just because she only wants whatever she believe her precious King Boo wants!'

Luigi hooked the flashlight up to the Poltergust, and approached Soulfflé as carefully as possible. Despite how badly his previous attempts at diplomacy failed, he hoped that this attempt worked.

_I can't believe anyone would treat their workers this poorly._

Soulfflé's breathing picked up, and he audibly seethed with every breath.

'Zat woman has forced me to cook zee same three meals for years. I haine that woman... so, so much...'

He shifted his glare back onto Luigi. It made the plumber turn as stiff as a block of lead.

'And yet... I am compelled to follow her orders, for reasons zat I can't begin to explain.'

Luigi gulped. 'And those orders are to...?'

Without an answer, Chef Soulfflé vanished into thin air. Luigi gasped, and grabbed his flashlight after multiple failed attempts at reaching for it. By the time he got a grip on it, the cook rematerialised floating by where his frying pan lay.

Brushing aside a couple of melons that rested on the floor, he grabbed his pan and held it like a sword pointing right at the green plumber.

'Dah!' Luigi cried. 'U-Uh, Mr Soulfflé... can't we talk this out?'

'I cannot! Ms Gravely demands zat I capture a green gentleman and deliver him to her. And you match zat description perfectly. Maybe zen she will let me create what I want!'

To demonstrate the power behind it, he floated over to the unconsciousness Gooigi and delivered a power whack into his torso. The gooey man burst into scattered droplets that failed to resemble the shape that they once were.

Chef Soulfflé winced with every muscle in his face at the sight of the green slime that covered his precious pan. Wiping it clean on his apron, he redirected his look of death to Luigi.

'I suggest you and your girlfriend leave zis room at once, before I turn your brains into minced meat!'

The temptation to grab Daisy and go was high, and if he had a choice he would high-tail immediately. Judging by the glowing yellow button in Soulfflé's pocket however, he had no choice but to remain.

'I-I didn't mean to ruin your meal. Honest! I just want the button so we can-'

'You want zee button? You cannot have it! Ms Gravely told me clearly zat under no circumstances should you be allowed to have it. If you want it, I'm afraid you'll have to tear it from me by force!'

Soulfflé wound his pan up like it was a baseball bat, and launched into a tornado spin attack like he was the Tasmanian Devil himself. He spun so fast that he looked more like an orange-and-grey spinning top.

'Wah!'

Luigi spent only a split-second searching for an opening to flash him in the eyes, but that attempt at logical thinking got overridden quickly by his survival instinct.

It gave him a simple order - RUN AWAY YOU MORON!

And he did just that. Screaming like a little girl as he did so. I just want you to let the mental image of a shrieking man running away from a spinning chef armed with a frying pan sink in. Sunk in yet? Good.

Chef Soulfflé spun after Luigi with unrelenting persistence. The man in green dared not look back, if only because doing so would take away focus from his fleeing.

'C-Can't we just talk this over?' Luigi said between exhausted breaths. 'I-I prefer diplomacy over violence.'

'SILENCE!' Soulfflé yelled as the world began to get blurry. 'You have long past zee point of deserving diplomacy!'

Of course, one can't spin around wildly forever. Soulfflé sensed himself hitting his twirling limit, and so stopped the chase and the vortex of terror to get his dizzy mind back to normal. Despite his vision being whacked up, his glare caught up with Luigi no problem.

Speaking of which, the man in green ran for a couple of seconds before he realised that he could stop. He leaned on the kitchen counter, his attention falling upon a mouse hiding in the sink for a moment.

Soulfflé lifted up his frying pan, despite being out of melee range. On instinct, Luigi's hands jolted to cover his ears. Right on time for the frying pan to be slammed into the stove again, creating an even more horrid clanking sound than the last.

'Why do you struggle?' Soulfflé demanded. 'Make like an animal and let me capture you!'

Daisy lifted her head up from the floor. All the doors that clouded her vision opened up and revealed the real world behind them. Right; she was in a kitchen, she remembered that now. And she could also remember an angry cooking ghost...

She gasped. 'Luigi!'

It seemed that Soulfflé had forgotten she existed after knocking her unconscious; he paid her absolutely no mind, focusing more on trying to strike the man who didn't really do anything.

'Why do you have to fight me?' Luigi pleaded.

'Only when Ms Gravely rewards me will I be allowed to make what I want to make!'

Luigi charged up a beam and went for it now that the ghost was not spinning around wildly, but Soulfflé merely blocked the rays with his pan.

'Did you not expect zat I would see zat coming? It is zee only way you can 'kill' zee otherwise unkillable.'

Luigi took a sharp breath. The last thing he ever wanted was an unexpected change of plans. Keeping the stress of change in check, he thought about how to disarm the chef (that's a sentence).

_Wait, that frying pan has a flat surface! Maybe I could plunger it..._

He engaged this thought process immediately, and got his plunger ready to fire. Alas, it seemed Soulfflé expected this, and began his spinning attack once again.

'Oh no!'

Luigi fired his shot anyway, but it merely went flying off and landed on the stove, which burnt it away into ashes. In a fit of panic, he jumped to another strategy as the spinning chef got close to him.

He deployed Gooigi directly into Soulfflé's path, and switched back to his normal body the moment he could. As he anticipated, Soulfflé's pan struck the gooey man and blasted his body into nothing more than a green splash, stopping the chef's spiralling attack.

'Gah! You are just frustrating as zee others led me to believe.' Soulfflé said, flinging the goop off his pan. 'I do not understand why you are not just surrendering and accepting defeat. Do you zink I fought against zee fire zat killed me? No! I accepted my loss and got it over with! Why can't you do zee same?'

Daisy growled through her teeth as she stared up at him from the floor. 'I could say the same thing about you, buddy...'

Soulfflé seemed about ready to charge at the plumber once again. Daisy slammed her fist into the ground; the guy thought he was so brave, hiding behind that frying pan of his!

_I bet he'd be totally defenceless without it._ She thought. _I'll rip it out of his cold, undead hands if I... hang on._

Her attention fell on the melons and pumpkins scattered on the floor by her. 'A-ha!'

She jumped to her feet, just a little dizzy as the blood rushed back to her head, and yanked a melon clean off the floor. Holding it as if it were a shot put ball, she took aim at the cooking-utensil-turned-weapon.

'Hey, Chef Boyardee!' She called.

With a sign, Soulfflé interrupted his attack before he began, and turned to her. 'I zought I dealt with you. What is it zat you want?'

'Take this!'

She chuckled the melon square at the frying pan, and though it broke apart on impact the pan went flying out of his hand. In two pieces, no less; the handle had broken clean off. The two seperate bits of pan collided against the wall and fell to the floor.

Soulfflé gasped. 'Zat was my favourite pan! Quelle tragédie...'

Daisy scoffed. 'It was just a frying pan. Don't be so _melon_-cholic!'

As much as he thought that she was taking things a little too far, Luigi couldn't help laughing at her little pun. He liked wordplay.

Soulfflé wasn't quite so partial however, which was clear by how now both his eyes twitched incessantly. He cried out in pure rage, to the point where she half-expected him to morph into some hulking beast.

'YOU WILL PAY FOR ZAT, you princesse gênante!' He shouted. 'I WILL MAKE SURE ZAT MS GRAVELY LOCKS YOU UP FOR DEFILING MY-'

Luigi cut off his furious rant by flashing him in his now-exposed eyes. Into the Poltergust nozzle he went.

'GET OFF ME, YOU RAVAGEUR!' Soulfflé shouted, doing as all ghosts did and dragging him around. 'If Ms Gravely doesn't kill you _both_ for such flagrant behaviour, **I WILL!**'

Daisy chuckled. 'It'll hard to do that once you're in a vacuum cleaner. Ged 'em, sweetie!'

Though she knew that she couldn't do anything to help directly, that didn't stop her from cheering her plumber on.

Luigi needed that little bit of encouragement, as no ghost prior had fought the Poltergust nearly as hard as Soulfflé was, not even Chambrea. No matter hard he pulled his suction in the opposite direction, Soulfflé kept dragging him around the kitchen.

'As if I would let myself get captured by a cretin like you! If I am to be defeated, it'll be to something as powerful as a fire. Not a little green wimp!'

But the powerful vibrations he felt in his hands told him he was doing his job right. Just a little further and he could...

Slam!

He flung Soulfflé into the ground with all his might, perhaps a little harder than necessary considering how hard he had been holding on before. He had to stop for just a moment, to 'recharge his strength' as it were, breathing heavily as his nerves relaxed.

Soulfflé, now not even trying to fight back, looked up to his captor. Though stunned by the impact, he gave a weak smile.

'I... I see zat I was wrong. You are indeed as powerful as a raging fire.'

Neither Luigi nor Daisy had any idea what that was about, but Luigi did notice that the second slam took him significantly less power than the first. Each subsequent slam got even easier.

Despite his oncoming fate inside the Poltergust, Soulfflé gave Luigi a defeated smile.

'Zee bravest artistes admit failure when it comes... and zis is a failure for me.'

And though his gigantic hat jammed the nozzle for a moment, soon he was sucked in without a trace. Well, except for the three still very much alive fish that came flying out, landing on the floor and flopping about.

'Ew...' Luigi muttered as a flailing fish got a little too close to his feet. 'Sacre bleu...'

A frustrated voice echoed from the Poltergust. 'Never heard _zat_ one before!'

The nozzle rattled, and a button shot out of it and landed in the sink.

'Oh yeah!' Daisy said as Luigi walked over to the landing spot. 'I'm starting to see a pattern here. Special-looking ghost, elevator button. Pretty basic.'

Luigi chuckled and reached for the button.

'EEK!'

And fell backwards into a puddle on the floor upon seeing a mouse right next to it.

'Whoa! That's a mouse scream.' Daisy said. 'Where is it?'

The mouse crawled out of the sink with the button in its mouth, before it gulped it down in one bite.

'Oh no...' Luigi murmured.

Giving him a smug little look as a nice 'screw you', it hopped off the bench and ran for the door.

'No... no no no!'

Daisy watched the little rodent scurry by her feet, and clenched her fists. 'Hey! You get back here!'

She chased it all the way to the door, where upon it simply ducked into a hole in the wall and disappeared through to the other side.

Her shoulders slumped. 'Dang it.'

Luigi put his hand to his forehead and sighed. 'Aw, come on...'

Daisy, not one to give up for even a moment, kicked the door wide open. Seems a bit excessive, but I suppose that works.

'Get back here, ya vermin!' She cried, before running out the door.

Luigi stood up and wiped the water off himself. 'Wait for me!'

By the time he got out of the kitchen, she was already at the reception - she was considered a 'Speed type' in the Olympic Games for a reason. Luigi couldn't quite see from his position, but judging by Daisy's cry of utter exasperation the mouse went straight through the wall once again.

'I swear to Grambi, I'm gonna kill that rat!'

And out the door she went. Luigi sighed; though fast enough on his own, no way he'd catch up to her with the heavyweight weaponry on his back.

'Daaaisyyy...' He whined, before running after her.

Daisy burst the door open with her hands this time, not noticing the small dents she left in the wood as she did so. All the way down the hall, she saw a little grey dot fleeing into the wall. How many holes _were_ there on this floor? Someone needs to call the exterminator.

She cracked her knuckles and charged off again. 'Give me that button or I'll take it back the hard way!'

The run to the door at the end finished in less than a second, from her point-of-view at least, and she opened the door up with so much energy the handle came out of it now completely bonked up.

It opened up to an entertainment room. A billiards table stood in front of her, its balls all in place ready for a game. A dartboard hung on the distant front wall, and so the other side of that was a, uh, pig butt mounted up. A sword had been stuck into the dartboard's bullseye.

The brown-wood walls and the faded green carpet gave off the vibes of an old pub. What Daisy would kill for a beer right then...

Her eyes scanned the room like a lioness searching for prey. She spotted her target by the pig rear, chilling under a table that had an empty mug resting on it.

'Hey Remy!' She shouted to it.

It responded to her spontaneous shouting by ducking through _yet another_ mouse-sized hole in the wall.

Daisy opened her mouth to shout her frustration, but she scratched the back of her head instead. 'Okay, that one was on me.'

Seeing nothing left to do in that room, she shrugged and turned around. She reached for the door handle, but a paranormal gate manifested and locked in place in front of that door.

She jumped back. 'Gah! I don't need this. I _need_ to get back to Luigi!'

She grabbed onto the purple swirling bars, not surprised at all that the gloves allowed her to hold them. It didn't do her any good, as even her gloves wouldn't let her shake the bars, let alone remove the gate.

'Hey princess.'

With a groan she turned around, and her eyes widened at the sight: a new kind of ghost she hadn't seen before, bouncing the black billiard ball in his hand. He had a smirk on his skinny yellow face.

'Name's Owen. Wanna have a game with me?' He asked.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Who goes first? You or me? I'll let you go first if you want.'

The Oozer just chuckled, and turned to the cupboard behind him. 'So sis, are you gonna run away again or actually help me this time?'

Another Oozer stuck her head out of the cupboard and gave him a look. 'That wasn't running away! It was a tactical exit. Oh, and thanks for giving my position away!'

Owen rolled his eyes, and glanced back at Daisy. 'Just ignore Olivia over there.'

Olivia growled, but returned to her hiding spot. Owen sighed without even looking at her, and stopped throwing the black ball.

'I'm excited for this.' He said. 'With that precious Poltergust locked away, you're up for the taking. I go first. Take this!'

He tossed that ball with all of his might, hard enough for it to leave a little yellow trail as it soared through the air, aiming right for her face. With the cockiest smirk you will ever see, Daisy caught it in midair like a tennis ball.

Owen gasped.

'So, your turn again.' She said, crushing it into dust - a feat that managed to surprise _her_.

Owen looked around like a bird on high alert, searching for any sort of weapon to use. Hesitantly, he picked up the orange ball and took aim.

'Nice move.' Daisy said. 'My turn!'

Giving him no time to react, she grabbed his tail and yanked it so hard that he fell to the table. He looked up at her with fear in those empty eyes.

'Your move.' She said, grinning to show all her teeth, including those impressive canines.

The Oozer gaped at the hands that held him down. A mortal capable of touching ghosts? Impossible, surely.

Owen gulped. 'Hey, uh, s-sis. You know what you said about tactical exits?'

'Uh, y-yeah?' Olivia's trembling voice came muffled from behind the doors.

'I think it's about time we take _our_ tactical exit!'

Daisy loosened his grip on him just enough so he could barely free himself. He flew straight up in a panic, vanishing through the ceiling. Olivia never showed herself, but judging by the paranormal gates dissipating away she had followed her brother.

The princess laughed. 'The ghosts can only hope that they warn everyone else that this princess is not to be messed with. Now where was I?' She groaned. 'Right. The stupid mouse.' She turned around and opened the door. 'Maybe Luigi has- AH!'

'AHHHH!'

Neither expected to find the other on the opposite side of the door. It was quite the miracle that Daisy didn't get a Strobulb to the face.

'Oh. I-It's just you.' Luigi stammered, doing a poor job at hiding his reddening cheeks. 'I-I was trying to get to you before, but the gate stopped me. Sorry.'

'That's fine.' She said. 'The ghosts weren't any trouble. You have any idea where that stupid mouse could've gone?'

'Uh, actually, yeah.'

She did not expect him to bring her to the location where he did.

'The... bathrooms?' She said, looking at the mouse hole.

'Uh, yeah.'

She looked the door up and down, and failed to see anything wrong with it.

'And you didn't go in and get the button yourself... why?' She asked, before stammering. 'Uh, I-I'm just curious.'

He pointed at the sign on the door, the one of a person in a dress. 'It's the ladies' bathroom.'

Daisy stifled a chuckle. 'Luigi, no one's gonna care.'

He opened his mouth.

'And before you ask, I would _absolutely_ go into the men's bathroom if I had to. But, I get it, I get it. I can go in there for you if you want.'

'N-no. No. You're right. I should've just gone in there and grabbed the button while you were distracted.'

His blushing intensified. _I'm such an idiot..._

'Yeah, that's probably for the better.' Daisy said as he opened the door. 'I was just scaring the little guy away on account of my-'

'AHHHH!'

That was not a mouse scream. That was a 'getting jumpscared by something on the other sound of the door' scream. His oncoming-heart-attack came to a halt when he realised that the ghost at his feet was a certain loyal pet, bread and cheese crumbs all over his muzzle.

'Oh thank goodness...' Luigi gasped. 'It's just you, boy.'

Polterpup barked in joy and nodded. He turned around, and wagged his tail like a signal.

'Oh, coming!'

He stepped inside the bathroom, his feet making tiny splashes in the puddles on the floor. Against his expectations, the room smelled like a buffet, thanks to the scraps of fruit and pastry desserts scattered around.

Some soggy, mouldy bread clogged one of the sinks. Cringing, Luigi remembered why he wasn't a full-time plumber anymore.

Polterpup pointed his nose at the middle stall. The echoing sounds of mice squeaking and chatting among themselves came from behind the door. Luigi struggled to make out any specific sounds in the high-pitched cacophony, and the squeaks did wonders for his ears.

Gulping, he approached the door and pushed it open.

'Dah!'

'Luigi? What's wro... _oh_.'

It wasn't just a single mouse sitting on that toilet seat. At least ten or twenty mice piled on top of each other, creating a big lump of grey dirty fur. At least thirty eyes looked at him. However, despite all the targets, Luigi could see a glowing yellow light in one of them.

Then the mice scattered. They crawled onto the floor and surrounded him.

He balanced on one foot in a failed attempt to get away from them. 'G-Get away!'

Normally, he thought rats and mice were really cute, but not so much when they just came out of a bathroom and were most likely swarming with germs. He tapped the floor with his foot, which was supposed to be a stomp - something impossible in his state of mind. It didn't faze the mice in the slightest.

'D-Don't bite me!' He yelled with a squeak higher in pitch than the mice.

Polterpup glared down at the rodents surrounding his master, and snarled at them. They all looked to him, frozen like an introvert in the spotlight.

'**RUFF!**'

The mice all squeaked in fear, and ran off to the hole in the back wall like Pikmin running in panic. One mouse, the one with the glow inside it, failed to escape and found itself in the jaws of the ghostly beasts. Polterpup didn't grind in into paste, and merely kept it trapped.

He growled at it, which most likely translated to a firm 'DROP IT'.

The mouse, ears hanging in defeat, puked up the elevator button onto the floor. With the conditions fulfilled, Polterpup dropped it nice and gently. The mouse dashed away faster than Sonic the Hedgehog.

Luigi wiped his brow. 'Phew...'

'Yeah!' Daisy yelled. 'Now pick it up before a second mouse comes along and snatches it up.'

With a smile, Luigi grabbed the button and held it tight in his hand. His triumphant pride vanished the moment he realised that the button was covered in mouse saliva. The spit began to run off the button and onto his gloves.

'Bleh...' He muttered, sticking his tongue out.

Good Grambi, he hated spit. Granted, most people thought it was gross, but to him, it'd be less gross if the button was covered in urine. He peeled his index finger away, only to see a string of saliva connecting it to the button.

He couldn't take it anymore. He gagged and dropped the button. His eyes focused on the wall; no way he could look at that slimy thing again.

Daisy didn't question his sudden reaction. She didn't need to. She simply stepped in, grabbed the button for him, and wiped it clean with the inside of her shirt.

'Floor number four... hm. Don't remember what was on that floor. Do you?'

He gave her the best smile he could as he wiped his glove on the back of his pants (so he wouldn't have to see it).

'Uh, I didn't study the map too well, but I think it was called _the Great Stage_. I, uh, remember something about a pianist.'

'A pianist, huh? I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that's the guy holding the next button.' She put the button away into her pocket, in case another mouse showed up. 'Let's get out of this stupid bathroom and get this button back in.'

* * *

'WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WITH THESE INCOMPETENT MORONS?!'

Hellen Gravely couldn't believe it. She had witnessed not one, not two, not even three, but four of her hopeless staff members fall to the green idiot and his Poltergust.

'How do we follow through the same trap for _decades_ and fail at the most important moment?! The MOUSE did a better job holding onto that button!'

She pulled at her hair, in any attempt she could to control her rage before _it_ happened. No matter how hard she tried, the rage continued to build. Growling, she pulled out her make-up and applied it thoroughly. Only then did she calm down.

'Okay Hellen, don't freak out yet just because you lost your weakest workers. As if the four of them ever did anything. All Soulfflé ever did was try cooking them a meal. I trust Amadeus will be able to finish him off.'

She looked at the security feed of the Great Stage, to see her pianist doing what he typically did in his spare time: playing his grand piano.

'Assuming he decides to actually help me out this time. I hope my servants do a good enough job convincing him.'

She smirked as her eyes fell upon one of the cameras for floor fourteen. A DJ with a giant afro stood behind her neon turntable, a big smile on her face as she ignored her orders and played her infernal disco music.

'And if they don't, I know exactly how to push his buttons.'

A shiver, a joyful one, went down her back. It made her giggle. She was certain it was King Boo, smiling down upon her in approval.

'Yes darling! I will make you proud!'

Polterkitty, resting in her bed and trying to get those sixteen hours of daily sleep, groaned. Just hearing her owner declare her love for that guy gave her the same feeling she had when she licked that three-year-old salmon.

Hellen heard the quiet groan and, remembering that her pet existed, spun her chair around to face her. She adopted gigantic faux smile.

'Polterkitty, my sweet little darling!'

The kitty in question stretched her legs out and stood up. She recognised that as the 'I want you to do something' tone, and she would always follow her orders.

'I'm sure we can both agree that my staff are just a bunch of idiots, right?'

Polterkitty had to disagree. She found the staff rather nice and welcoming. They treated her really well, when they were allowed to. Regardless, she nodded.

'Of course we can! We just can't trust our staff, can we?'

She shook her head.

'Exactly! So I'm entrusting you with a very important mission. Since my staff cannot be trusted to hold onto the buttons themselves, perhaps you could swipe one for yourself. Just one button, and he won't be able to do anything about it.'

Her eyes widened. Swipe a button away when the boy thought he won? That seemed a little too diabolical.

But if Master want, then Master shall get.

Polterkitty left her warm fluffy bed, and dove into the floor. It took a bit of pushing to get herself all the way through.

'That's a good girl! Do your job right, and I'll give you extra cat nip tomorrow!'

The spectral cat found offers like this useless. The rest of the staff may have needed an extra reward, but she certainly didn't.

All that mattered to her was pleasing Master.

* * *

_**CHEF SOULFFLÉ, THE COOK WITH SOUL**_

_AGE - 43_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Kitchen Fire_

_Chef Gordon Soulfflé, a visitor from the City of Romance, lived and died cooking. Even after his death, he continues to create delicious works in the afterlife. He cooks purely for passion and denies any pay. His temper is short though, and he's not afraid to weaponise his pan._

* * *

**Author Notes - Kay, so now Daisy's taking her cues from Han Solo. This is what happens when one's an Aspie with constantly shifting interests. It's for the best, guys; it'll help me have the enthusiasm to keep writing.**

**The Mezzanine is probably the simplest floor in the whole game, except for the Grand Lobby. I like what I did with Chef Soulfflé, considering that he has very limited screen time compared to the others. And like 'Paul Kruller', his first name being 'Gordon' is referencing what you think it is.**

**I suppose I can talk about how much I love what I've done with Hellen Gravely. I like a villain who uses manipulation instead of any kind of force.**

**I can't speak French beyond some basic stuff, so I relied on Google Translate. I apologise to those who actually can.**

* * *

_Polterkitty remembered a time when Hellen Gravely was much nicer. When she wasn't barking orders at workers, or luring mortals into her hotel trap. Polterkitty struggled to remember that time, as it seemed to be so far away._

_She remembered when she was all alone, after her life had been taken away from her too early. If she ever found those humans again, she'd drown _them _in a river._ _Everything was raining, and she tried to shelter underneath the leaf of a fern._

_Where was she? How long ago was it? Why was she there? She couldn't recall that unneeded information anymore. But she could easily recall the one who approached her._

_The person who knelt down was a young ghostly girl, no older than eight in mortal years. With that long blue hair and radiant purple skin, she couldn't be mistaken for anyone else._

_The girl reached her hand out, and Polterkitty swiped at her. Despite the attack, the girl reached again._

'_Hello?' She said. 'Are you lost?'_

_Polterkitty bared her teeth and hissed. Still, the girl wouldn't give up._

'_I'm Hellen! I know you're lost. Do you wanna come home with me?'_

_At the time, the ghostly kitty didn't think she could really trust her. The vibe emanating off her felt wrong. Yet, Polterkitty had practically no one else to turn to - no one else would want a ghost cat with two tails, with a third one on the way._

_Polterkitty didn't regret it. Hellen treated her like a pharaoh. Even though they lived in the remains of an abandoned hotel, she loved every moment of it._

_Even when Hellen grew up, devised a hotel trap, and mistreated her workers, she still adored her spectral kitty and gave her all the love in the world._

_But, as Polterkitty soon found out, Ms Gravely only had room for one being in her heart._

_The moment King Boo came around, Polterkitty was dropped like a hot piece of metal. Suddenly, every wall was covered in a picture of that kingly boo. Some of them even had Hellen herself in them, doing some... unspeakable things to him._

_The ethereal kitty awaited the day that Hellen would drop that monarch. But no matter how much 'affection' she got, she knew it was nothing compared to her love for King Boo._

_It made Polterkitty hate King Boo. Loathe him with every fibre in her being. If she had any chance, she'd kill him for a second time. She'd tear him limb from limb, and chow down on the remains until there was nothing yet._

_But it wasn't his fault. He just existed, and Hellen became obsessed. But Polterkitty just couldn't aim her hate at her owner._

_She thought back on these memories fondly. She knew that, if she just waited, her owner would eventually return to being the nice, sweet person she knew her to be._


	9. Für Release

**Author Notes - Ah, Amadeus Wolfgeist... this guy has a special place in my heart. Why? Cos his fight was the point where the game went from 'really good' to 'freaking FANTASTIC'. I can only hope I do the guy justice.**

**Note though, the final phase is normally three cycles in the game itself. And since I need to cram detail into everything, repeating the same process three times is tedious. So I'll be cutting it down to just the one.**

**Random note time: I often watch Luigi's Mansion 3 speedruns when I'm writing this. I think at this point this game is literally etched in my DNA now.**

**Alternative chapter name: Für Glory-a. It's a Beethoven song but close enough.**

**Thanks to cartoon seer for the favourite, and Dario Flaman for the follow!**

**CHAPTER NINE - FÜR RELEASE**

An old purple ghost, dressed in his best suit, sighed and played a little tune on his piano. Unlike his usual compositions, he barely poured effort into this one. All he wanted to do was overpower the annoying voices of the two Goobs talking to him.

'That green kid is _way_ stronger than we predicted.' Sam explained. 'He and that princess just captured, like, four staff members!'

'And you needed to tell me this... why?' The old ghost asked with a light Austrian accent. 'I've heard.'

Charles put his face in his hands and sighed. 'Because he's coming here next, Mr Wolfgeist.'

Amadeus rolled his eyes, and continued playing his aimless ditty. All he desired was for these peasants to leave him be.

'Aren't you worried he's gonna capture you?' Sam asked.

He shook his head. 'Please. I doubt he'll be a problem. I'll just give him the button - and his friend too, of course - and he'll leave me alone.'

He glanced over to the portrait he had on the wall behind him, making a great decoration for his glorious stage. It contained a Toad, and he couldn't care less as to which one.

Sam smiled. 'Aw, that's nice!'

'Not nice. Just pragmatic.' Amadeus said. 'If I give the mortals what they want, then I am spared from a fight. Do you wish to argue?'

Sam opened her mouth to do so, but she left it hanging with no arguments to be heard.

Charles groaned. 'Do you _want_ Ms Gravely to get angry with you? Because this is how you get Ms Gravely angry with you.'

'Never mind my boss. I can deal with her. She's nothing I can't-'

He winced, slamming multiple keys at once and creating a horrid loud sound. His hands shot to his head, and he emitted a long, low groan.

'Mr Wolfgeist!' Sam cried.

Charles grabbed her wrist and held her back before she could get anywhere near close to him.

'Curse you, Hellen...' Amadeus muttered as a voice spoke to him.

_What are you doing, Mr Wolfgeist? _She spoke directly into his mind. _Don't give that disgusting mortal the button! How dare you stoop down to his level!_

Amadeus groaned. 'I'm wiser than you think, Ms Gravely. I never let myself get involved in your abhorrent schemes, and I'm certainly not starting now.'

Sam grabbed onto Charles, and he returned the embrace. Neither of them liked seeing their fellow ghosts deal with Hellen Gravely trying to infest their minds.

_But you don't understand! You absolutely must capture that man for me!_

He scoffed. 'And why is that?'

_Didn't you hear? He hurt your sweet Gloria!_

'WHAT?!' He yelled, slamming his fists into his precious piano.

Though neither Goob could hear what was going on inside his head, they knew exactly what sparked such a reaction.

'THAT GREEN MAN THINKS HE CAN HURT MY GLORIA?!'

Sam stammered, before words finally came back to her. 'But Mr Wolfgeist, Gloria is alright! The green kid doesn't even know she exists yet. He never-!'

'THAT MAN WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID!'

Charles pulled her in closer and shook his head. No matter how empty her eyes were, one could see how much they were pleading.

'There's no point.' He said. 'Once Ms Gravely implants a thought, there's no changing it. If she tells Mr Wolfgeist that Gloria has been hurt, there's nothing we can do.'

'But... but... it isn't fair! Why does he have to think that the green kid's captured Gloria? You know how much that terrifies him!'

He sighed, far more solemnly than before. 'I know. It's awful. But when he's angry, there's no use trying to convince him. We... we need to get out of here.'

Amadeus directed his furious glare at the shuddering couple. They froze on the spot.

'What are you two still doing here?! GET OUT! I don't want ANYONE in my way when I teach that green man a lesson for laying his hands on my sweet little Gloria!'

* * *

According to the hotel tracker map, the fourth floor - known as the Great Stage - was rather smaller than last few, much to Luigi's relief and Daisy's disappointment.

The doors opened up, and Luigi had to stay still for a moment to marvel at the elevator hall. Like the mezzanine before, the place didn't even look like the rest of the horrible hotel. The walls retained their golden colour, albeit far less shiny, and the red carpet appeared to have been cleaned recently. A couple of grand instruments - a double bass and a tuba - stood on display, looking as if someone polished them on a daily basis. All in all, it was just like walking into an opera house.

He held his hand up to his ear and listened to the beautiful piano music in the air. Though the sound was muffled, he managed to pick out a couple of notes. You didn't need to know what the notes were to appreciate their flawless flow.

'Sounds nice!' Daisy said, piercing through his little bubble.

'Ah!' Luigi yelped as he flinched.

'Oh, sorry!'

'It's... it's okay.'

Daisy strutted out of the elevator cart, admiring the obvious care that the owner of the floor put into the place. She inhaled the sweet aroma of orchestras and popcorn.

'Come on, sweetie.' She said. 'You don't need to keep waiting for me to go first.'

Luigi, allured by the lovely music, walked to her side. Polterpup, allured by the smell of popcorn, followed his owner as loyally as ever. Daisy didn't find the music _quite_ as nice as Luigi did; she was more into rock, country, and _Bubble Gusties_ music herself.

'So, uh, where should we look first?' The man in green asked.

'Hm...' Daisy pondered, tapping her chin. 'Well, judging by our last few encounters, I'm guessing our next button is held by that pianist ghost on the great stage itself. Five bucks I'm right.'

He stared at her for a very brief moment. Why were they betting? Even as a joke, it made little sense; he had no reason to disagree.

'Here.' She said. 'I'll lead the way.'

And she did just that, continuing her confident strutting down the hall that led to the Great Stage itself. Luigi followed close behind, not at all showing his issues with the situation.

_Why is she leading? Shouldn't I be leading? I'm the one with the experience. Would she be offended if I say anything? She shouldn't though, right? I mean, I should be the one-_

'WAH!'

An unknown object rolled towards him. He grabbed his flashlight and got ready to Strobulb. A small ember of courage began to swell up within him...

Only for that tiny spark to extinguish itself immediately when it turned out that what was rolling towards him was nothing but a cymbal on its side. It slowed down and came to a stop with the smallest crash sound imaginable.

Luigi's shoulders slumped. _Oh. That's why I'm not leading._

He heard Daisy chuckling, the kind of chuckle that one tries to stifle to avoid hurting someone's feelings but does so unsuccessfully. It was a sound he had heard enough times to easily identify it.

She smirked. 'I'm gonna find the ghost that threw that and give 'em a piece of my mind.' She said before charging down the hallway.

'W-Wait! Daisy!' Luigi called before charging after her.

His pace slowed down as he noticed the art on display on the faded golden walls. Several paintings had been hung up, showing various musical instruments in a more abstract design. One in particular that stood out to him was a violin that looked like it was painted by Cruella's hairstylist.

He shuddered as _something_ laid a hand on his chest. Turned out to just be Daisy, holding him back to stop him from stepping onto the long red rug that lead to the other side of the hall.

'Hold up.' She said, glaring at the other end of the rug.

A Goob wearing a little red hat held on to that end of the carpet. Every few seconds he lifted it up and flung it back down immediately, creating a hill nearly as tall as Luigi himself. The 'hills' travelled down, retaining their shape until they reached the end.

'Man these ghosts are crafty.' Daisy said. 'I mean, a carpet isn't exactly threatening, but it's something.'

The Goob on the other end looked up to her, confused. 'Crafty? Crafty about what?! I'm just doing my dang job here!' He yelled in a Spanish accent, still playing with the rug. 'Ms Gravely just told me I was '_too useless for the plan_' and that I should '_just clean the carpet_s', so I am.'

He spoke nonchalantly, like he didn't understand that the words were not exactly complimentary.

'Surely there's a more efficient way to do that.' Daisy remarked. 'Mr... what's your name?'

'Gustavo, and I ain't being paid for efficiency here.'

'Are... you being paid _at all_?'

'Exactly. I ain't getting paid, and that's final.'

He flicked the carpet up again, as basically a 'screw you' to our heroes. If anything, he just did it faster. Luigi had to step back from all the dust it scattered. Polterpup, on the other hand, sat in the middle of the rug and yipped in joy every time it lifted him into the air.

Daisy growled. 'We _really_ don't have time for this.' She said to Luigi. 'I'm about to go and punch Mr Gusty in the face.'

'I think I can just burst over those hills and-'

'HEY MR GUSTY!'

Luigi sighed. Between the two of them, he was certainly the only diplomatic one. He muttered her name a few times, more exasperated each time.

Gustavo stopped playing with the carpet to glare at her. 'What?!'

'We gotta get to the guy on the stage, so if you could just-'

The Goob smiled. 'You're here to see Mr Wolfgeist? Why didn't ya just say so! Here I thought you were just a bunch of hooligans.'

He dropped the carpet in a flash, and floated over to the popcorn machine behind him. As he and his princess approached the Goob, Luigi couldn't help but notice that the popcorn smelled a little stale.

Gustavo filled up a bag with the slightly-expired confectionary. 'So, buttered or plain?'

Both the mortals stared at him blankly. Polterpup jumped up, knocked the bag out of his hand, and licked up every last bit of popcorn, caring not for its use-by-date.

Gustavo just smiled. 'Oh, my first sale in years! Five dollars please.' He said, holding his hand out.

Polterpup glared at him, as if to say 'what a ripoff', but regardless he puked up a five dollar note. Luigi had so many questions, he didn't know where to begin. Gustavo simply picked up the note and put it away without even cleaning it off first.

'Cinco whole dollars! I bet I could buy a really good coffee with this!'

Daisy stared at him for a moment, before snapping herself out of it. 'Sorry Gusty, but we're not here to watch Mr Wolfgeist's performance, as beautiful as it sounds. We hear he's got an elevator button.'

Gustavo's smile disappeared. He rubbed his elbow and averted his gaze.

'Oh.' He said. 'So you _are_ the ones Ms Gravely talked about. Oh querido...' He sighed. 'I'm not gonna stop you. Not after your puppy's charity! But I warn you, Amadeus may seem calm and collected, but right now he is furious.'

'Why?' Luigi asked.

'Apparently you hurt Gloria. Do you even _know_ DJ Phantasmagloria?'

Despite his struggles with names, that one seemed vaguely familiar. He recognised it from the pamphlet, as the DJ in the Dance Hall. Beyond that, he didn't even know what she looked like.

'Phantasma-who?' Daisy replied.

'Yeah, that's what I thought.' Gustavo said. 'He's right through those great big doors. And... he'll give you one infierno of a battle.'

The trio looked to the grand double doors that led to the great stage. Akin to the restaurant doors down below, the golden covering of the beautiful hand-carvings shimmered in the dim ceiling lights.

Daisy turned to Luigi. 'You ready?'

He gulped. 'Y-Yeah. Just, uh, one thing first.'

Leaving it at that, he dashed to the men's bathroom.

Daisy shrugged. 'Seems like a good idea.' She said, before making her way into the bathroom after him.

Why the same bathroom? She had to make sure he was safe.

* * *

With their quick - and fortunately uneventful aside from Luigi screaming like a girl upon noticing that Daisy followed him in - bathroom break, they passed through the grand doors and marvelled at the sight on the other side.

It felt like they both walked into the Mushroom Opera House itself.

It looked just like a big grand theatre, albeit on a smaller scale. Rows of wooden seats with crimson cosy felt faced the stage. The red curtains had been drawn back, and the spotlights focused on a gorgeous grand piano.

A piano playing itself with no one in sight.

'Don't worry, Luigi!' Daisy said. 'I'm sure it's just a player piano.'

'It doesn't look like a player pia-'

'Like I said, player piano!'

Another spotlight turned on, not aimed at the player-less piano but instead a painting hung up behind it.

'Oh my gosh!' Daisy cried. 'That's one of the Toads!'

Whichever Toad he was - the desaturated brown of the portrait made it hard to tell them apart - he looked no less terrified than he did before.

'We have to save him!' Luigi said.

Daisy rushed off for the portrait like a superhero running into action. 'Hang on Toad! I'm coming for ya!'

Luigi did not have the energy to even try talking her out of it. Giving a frustrated sigh, he ran after her. A small set of stairs led onto the stage, and the mortals - and their ghostly pup - barely made it halfway to the portrait before Mr Wolfgeist showed himself.

Amadeus emerged from thin air, revealing himself to be the one playing the divine instrument. He glanced at the mortals, as though they were nothing more than a couple of young miscreants. No matter how weak the 'stare' was, it stopped our heroes dead in their tracks.

Luigi hid behind Daisy while she waved nervously. 'Hiya Mr Wolfgeist! We were just about to grab this dusty old painting. That okay with you?'

Something about seeing that man in green felt weird to Amadeus. He could've sworn he had more friendly feelings towards him before. Still, Amadeus was not one to tear into his foes immediately. He was no Chef Soulfflé, after all.

'I suggest you get off my stage.' He said. 'Now. That way it will be more fun for all of us.'

Luigi casually backed away off the stage, nothing more than a tumbleweed rolling away in the background.

Daisy crossed her arms and grinned. 'What? You too scared to fight me one-on-one?'

Amadeus simply rolled up his sleeves, and played a far more aggressive song. The princess laughed at his failed attempt to intimidate her.

'Sorry, but you'll be darned if you can make a piano scary.' She said.

Luigi made a little whining sound in his throat. He and Mario had first hand experience on just how scary a piano could be. Curse Big Boo Haunt and curse that piano...

As if responding to her snide comments, all four chairs in one of the back rows shot up from the floor. They hovered in place, bopping up and down a little as some mysterious yellow force held them up.

The energy surrounding them disappeared, and like someone threw them the four chairs hurtled towards Daisy all in a row. Amadeus's music took on a crescendo and an accelerando, getting louder and faster for every second they approached her.

'Whoa!'

She leapt off the stage. The first chair just barely rubbed against her heel, before they all crumbled into debris right where she was standing. She landed on her chest, but took only a moment to grunt before climbing back onto her feet. Luigi ran to her side before anything else could happen.

The piano music now played more softly and slowly, shifting into a calm adagio.

Daisy dusted herself off. 'You made _chairs_ scary. I'll give ya that one!'

Amadeus chuckled. 'So you really believe I'm done, do you? No one who messes with my Gloria is let off that easily.'

'Can you be done _now_?' Luigi asked like a weak little puppy dog.

Amadeus ignored his request, and returned to playing his instrument. It started off nice and calm, before abruptly shifting to several heavy singular notes. With each big note played, one chair rose into the air. The notes only stopped once every chair hovered above the ground, ready to be chucked.

'Any last words?' The pianist asked.

Luigi gulped. 'Uh...'

'RUN!' Daisy shouted.

Amadeus shifted the music to something dramatic and going full presto. The chairs flew towards them as they broke into a dash.

***CRASH* *CRASH* *CRASH***

Daisy outran the seating projectiles like nothing, charging with stride despite actually being terrified of them on the inside. She kept her vision up, watching the chairs to make sure they didn't suddenly change direction.

Luigi trailed behind her, the never-ending crashing sounds tearing at his senses. Though he didn't dare to look behind him for even a moment, he felt the vibrations under his feet of the chairs just barely missing him. The dust that scattered with each broken chair made him cough and choke.

'I'd recommend you sit still.' Amadeus said, unfazed by the chaos he created. 'That will make it easier for all of us.'

Through her increasingly-heavy breathing, Daisy muttered a word she wished she could shout. 'Never...'

Polterpup sat still, his ethereal body unaffected by the flying furniture. He watched his owner running around in panic and barely avoiding getting crushed. And he watched in helplessness. There his owner was, almost getting hurt every second, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

He turned to the old pianist and snarled at him. Amadeus barely even looked at him.

'Don't fear, my canine friend. Your mortal ally shall join you soon.'

The mortals continued to run around in a loop on the carpet that surrounded the middle set of chairs, even if there were no chairs on the floor anymore. Daisy mentally counted the ones left, allowing Luigi to focus purely on survival.

Only one row to go.

She grinned, sure that they would escape the chair assault no worse for wear.

Until the last few chairs, instead of flying upwards briefly like being thrown, zoomed at them directly like arrows shot from a bow.

'Look out!' Daisy yelled.

She dove to the side in a heartbeat, not even flinching as her knees scrapped against the carpet. Luigi, however, saw his impending doom but hadn't nearly enough time to react to it. With the Poltergust weighing him down, he accepted his fate and stood still.

'Arf arf!'

A second later, he did not expect the result that he got. No chair had slammed directly into his face, or any part of his body. He lay, relatively unharmed, on the floor. Polterpup licked his owner's cheek gently but thoroughly.

Luigi, piecing it together, patted the head of his loyal pet. 'Thanks boy.'

'Hey Mr Wolfgeist!' Daisy shouted with an incredibly smug look on her face. 'Looks like your little _chair_-ity did nothing!'

Amadeus flinched, like a guitar's string that just broke and whacked you in the face. Anger seized up through him for a moment, before he turned to his usual elegance.

'I... understand.' He said. 'It appears I underestimated you mortals and your traitorous canine.'

'Good.' Daisy said. 'Can you just hand over that button already?'

He didn't even acknowledge her. I'm not sure what she was expecting. Instead, he changed his tune to one more befitting a ballet, a la Swan Lake or the Nutcracker. It was a more graceful piece full of gentle high notes. Luigi could easily imagine a couple of ghosts in tutus dancing in a way that only ballerinas could.

The man in green didn't need to imagine for long, as two Goobs in shockingly-clean tutus emerged from behind the curtains on both sides.

Thanks to their lack of legs, they twirled around with ease, almost like they were part of the breeze itself. While Luigi watched them in awe, Daisy just rolled her eyes.

'Really?' She said. 'You're gonna try to-?'

Luigi elbowed her. 'Don't ask how he'll make ballerinas scary. He'll find a way.'

'Uh, point taken.'

Stopping her from jinxing them did nothing to help, as the ballerinas spun faster and faster while retaining their grace. They changed direction from waltzing around aimlessly on stage to homing their spinning attacks onto our heroes.

'And that's how!' Luigi yelled.

One ballerina spun towards Luigi, while the other decided to go for Daisy instead.

'A one-on-one match-up, eh?' Daisy said, clenching her fists and smirking. 'Good to see you're being fair for once!'

Luigi did not share her confidence. At all.

Daisy backed away from her attacker, waiting for him to stop spinning. Just one problem: he didn't. His twirl of death only got faster. And faster. And faster.

'Hey, uh, buddy? Could ya slow it down a little?'

Expectedly, he did not comply to her request. She held her arms out in front of her, the gloves lighting up. The temptation to reach her hands in and risk it for the biscuit almost overtook her, but the more logical part of her - as small as it was compared to Luigi's - told her no.

The ballerino would've made some snarky comments at her expense, but he couldn't open his mouth lest he puke out ectoplasm all over the floor.

Daisy noticed the instruments on display on the sides of the grand hall. The bass guitar in particular caught her interest. She always wanted to do a guitar smash.

Luigi, on the other hand, had a slightly better time against his ballerina. He flashed the Strobulb at her several times, hoping that eventually he'd get her eyes. After a few attempts, he realised that nothing was working.

Though difficult to tell due to how fast the dancer spun, Luigi noticed a little bit of black in the blue tornado where the eyes should've been.

He put it together. _The mask is blocking my light! I bet that if I do what I did for Kruller_... He gulped down the feelings associated with that name.

Not wanting to think about that mall cop for a second longer, he activated the burst and knocked the ballerina off her tail. Her spinning proceeded at a much slower rate, and continued to slow until it stopped completely.

She felt around her face for her missing mask. 'I needed that. I needed that!'

Luigi paid her no mind and simply stunned her with his Strobulb. Defeating her was just a matter of slamming her into the floor until she disappeared into the Poltergust, tutu and all.

The man in green looked over to his female counterpart, only to see her snapping off a bass guitar from its stand, raising it over her shoulders, and slamming into down onto the face of the ballerino.

'Oh!' He said, flinching. 'I... guess that works too.'

Rather unsurprisingly, the guitar broke apart upon impact, but it did stop the incessant spinning. The dancer lay on the floor, watching the stars float in his vision with gleeful bliss.

'Aren't the fireworks purty tonight?' He said.

And that glorious statement was his last, as Daisy grabbed his tail and smashed him into oblivion. She dusted her hands off, and gave her smug look to Amadeus.

'Got anything else?' She asked.

Amadeus pressed several keys at once. His hands balled into fists, fists that he had to restrain from breaking his beloved instrument. He got out of his seat and glared directly at the mortals. Luigi froze on the spot.

'You...!' Amadeus yelled.

Daisy chuckled. 'What? You finally given up?'

Luigi flashed her a look, one that said 'for the love of Grambi, stop antagonising him!'.

The pianist had tried his hardest to contain his rage at such despicable mortals, but now he gave up on trying. His hands shot to his head as his neatly combed hair went everywhere like Medusa's snakes. His lavender aura shifted to a menacing red, and grew thicker like an ominous fog.

'I tried to be easy on you mortal scum, but you have given me no choice!' He yelled. 'No one who hurts my Gloria deserves to see me at my best!'

'W-We never hurt Gloria!' Luigi replied without thinking. 'I-I haven't even met her. Please Mr Wolfgeist... believe me.'

Amadeus aimed his glare dead straight at him. Luigi had to look away. Already, he hated eye contact, and there was no way he could look at that much fury.

'I will not believe the lies of loathsome mortals!' The pianist yelled back. 'I don't know why I _ever_ was nice to you to begin with. I suppose I didn't want to waste my energy of such garbage!'

'Hey!' Daisy cried. 'Luigi is telling the truth! And if you don't believe us, we'll simply have to take our friend back by force!'

Amadeus slammed his fists into several keys at once, breaking a few of them in the process. Those mortals needed to thank their lucky stars that he hadn't mounted their heads on the wall by now.

'So after you hurt my Gloria, you can't stop yourself? You have to capture me to? Then _fine_! If that's how you want to do it, then I'll _make you suffer_ _**the same way Gloria did!**_'

Without another word, he disappeared into his piano, slamming the lid down on himself.

The room that was once filled with his furious shouting and beautiful music suddenly went totally silent. The piano stood still, and nothing else moved.

'Um, is that it?' Daisy asked. 'With how angry he sounded, I expected him to snap my neck! Not return to his piano for a nap.'

She lifted herself onto the stage and began to approach the dormant instrument. Watching it threw Luigi into some horrid flashbacks, ones about a certain mad piano in Big Boo's Haunt. He remembered the seemingly harmless instrument suddenly springing to life the moment he approached it, not too long before King Boo captured him.

'Wait, Daisy!' He yelled. 'Don't go near that!'

She chuckled as she neared it. 'Luigi, it's a piano. And there's no way in the Underwhere that anyone is gonna make a piano-'

The piano lid shot up, revealing an endless mouth and two rows of extremely sharp teeth staring right at her. It chomped before her like an aggressive crocodile, just barely missing her hand.

'AHHHHHH!' Daisy screamed.

She fell back onto her rear, and backed away as quickly as she could. The piano did not stay in place and slowly but surely chased after her. Each chomp came with the loud sound of someone mashing keys at random.

'Oh my Grambi!' She shouted, scrambling to her feet. 'OH MY GRAMBI! What is the everlasting _HELL_ is **THAT?!**'

She tumbled off the stage and fell flat on her face. Her desperate need to get as far away from that, that... _thing_ as possible gave her the fuel to get up immediately and duck behind Luigi.

The plumber stared at her in shock. He had _never_ seen her that genuinely terrified before. Her hands shook against his shoulders.

'I don't care what you do to beat that thing, sweetie.' She said. 'Just make sure it doesn't get near ME!'

'Did you think the stories about the mad piano were exaggerated?'

'Obviously! I didn't think a piano could be _that_ horrific! But at least it's stuck on that-'

Luigi clamped his hand over her mouth. 'I don't like saying this, but... please stop talking.'

Once again, his attempt at stopping a jinx did not succeed. The possessed-piano buckled about like a mechanical bull, staring at them with glowing red eyes resting above the keys, and leapt into the air nearly high enough to hit the pole the curtains hung by.

'_What in the Lost Levels?!_' Daisy shouted. Luigi couldn't say a word.

The piano angled its descent downwards jaw first. It dove down with its mouth open in such a way that it would clamp upon the two heroes the moment it made contact with the ground.

Luigi froze on the spot. The bottomless void that was the piano's mouth got closer to consuming him with every millisecond. Thoughts of being chomped to pieces flooded his mind and stopped his instincts from doing anything.

'Whoa now, sweetie!' Daisy yelled as she tackled him to the ground.

Getting slammed onto the floor and crushed beneath the princess got Luigi's brain working again. He was about to ask her the meaning behind her random act of physical contact, when the piano landed on the floor jaw first where the plumber had been standing.

Daisy got to her feet and dragged him off the floor by his shoulder. 'What was _that_?! You can't just freeze while a giant scary piano is about to chomp your head off! Or in any battle, for that matter.'

Luigi wanted to tell her that nerves were beyond his control, but the piano caught his attention. It rattled about again, just like it did the first time it jumped.

A spotlight turned on and beamed down on the mortals. Luigi's eyes were safe underneath his cap, but Daisy had to shelter hers. The possessed instrument played its own keys in an aimless but still dramatic fashion.

'Um, what is it doing...?!' Daisy asked, backing away slightly.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'He's about to jump again.'

'About to _what_?! You gotta be kidding me!'

Just as Luigi predicted, the buckling came to a stop and the piano leapt into the air once again, now chomping its jaw as it flew.

'And now we run!' Daisy cried. Like they'd do anything else.

The mortals picked themselves up and ran out of the blinding spotlight. Polterpup followed, though the instrument had no way of affecting him.

'Okay Luigi,' Daisy said as they escaped the light. 'You said you've dealt with possessors before. What did you do?'

***CRASH***

The piano landed in the middle of the spotlight, and cried out in high-pitched and pained frustration.

Luigi took the moment of brevity to think. 'Uh, the, uh, possessors from Evershade Valley were hard to deal with but, um...'

'Start with the first one.' Daisy said. 'The spider one, right?'

'Erm, right. The Grouchy Possessor possessed a spider queen, and I had to set fire to the web to force him out.'

Daisy snapped her fingers and smiled. 'Force him out! That's what we gotta do! ... How?'

Polterpup yipped to catch their attention, and pointed his tail at the still very much possessed piano. It no longer buckled about, but half of its keys glowed.

'Oh Grambi.' Daisy huffed. 'What's he doing now?'

The glowing keys floated from their home and into the air. They moved in a smooth wave-like pattern, in an almost hypnotic fashion. The piano lifted up its 'head' and fired its ebony projectiles like guided missiles at our heroes.

'Wah!'

'Did that Mad Piano do **that**?'

The keys left behind yellow comet trails as they zipped towards Luigi and Daisy, homing in on them every moment.

'We ain't outrunning those!' Daisy cried.

Luigi switched into instinct mode, and activated a burst without thinking about this decision first. Daisy stumbled around as air erupted from the Poltergust, lifting the plumber off the ground.

The burst of air interrupted the flying keys, stopping them in place and throwing them off their course. They fell to the floor like regular old keys, and after a few seconds passed flew back into place on the keyboard.

'Good thinking, sweetie!'

Luigi blushed, thankful for the encouragement. The piano's 'eyes' glowed a deeper red and it roared, creating a sound that, although like one made by the instrument, sounded more like a dying animal in distress.

'Oh no.' Daisy said. 'I think we've really peeved him off now.'

In the middle of that ear-piercing roar, one could barely make out two words: 'For Gloria'.

Luigi managed to hear it, and for a moment he put down his weapon. With each grand ghost he fought, he felt more and more like he simply couldn't fight them.

A father protecting his child... that's all this was. Surely if Luigi did this to protect _his_ child if he had one, such extreme aggression would be applauded. And yet, this was a battle to overcome. A battle to be beaten.

Why did a protective father deserve to be beaten, Luigi wondered. Why was he being treated as a bad guy for merely being angry that his loved one was supposedly hurt?

'You can cry later, Luigi!' Daisy yelled. 'Now is not the time.'

He was crying? He rubbed his eyes, but saw no tears on his gloves. Why did she...? No time for questions, as the piano buckled again like it was getting ready to pounce once more.

There was something different about this buckling though, that Luigi noticed. Instead slow and gentle rattling, it rocked about like a bull on the loose. The spotlight turned to the mortals, much bigger and brighter than before.

'Who's operating those lights?' Luigi asked.

'Cogsworth and Lumière.' Daisy said, totally deadpanned. 'Does that really matter right now?!'

Indeed, it did not. Amadeus sent his vessel flying into the air, going so high this time it scraped against the ceiling. One of the spotlights got knocked off and fell to the floor, shattering into dust upon impact.

'We don't wanna be under that!' Daisy yelled, grabbing Luigi by the hand.

Giving him no time to ready himself, she yanked him out of the light and into the relative safety of the darkness. The piano hovered in the air for a moment, leaving our heroes in suspense.

Then the spotlight shifted, moving back onto our heroes. The piano shifted its direction to follow it.

Luigi looked up into the blinding light, only to see the bottom of the piano getting closer. The shadow that covered them got bigger and bigger.

'OH BOY!'

Grabbing Luigi's arm again, she dragged him and herself out of harm's way. Not even a second after they fled the spotlight, the piano slammed into the floor like a great big steam press.

The impact created a big shockwave that knocked Luigi and Daisy off their feet. Daisy's gloves helped cushion her fall, but Luigi fell cheek first into a steel bar that a row of chairs used to rest on.

He made no sound at all, but his face and hands seized as the pain shot through his nerves. Polterpup approached him and frowned.

'Arf arf?'

He licked his owner's face, lacking the power granted to him by Golden Bones to properly heal him. All the same, Luigi smiled for his pet and slowly got to his feet.

'Luigi, look!'

After the heavy slam into the floor, the piano had stopped moving entirely. The lid opened up, and revealed not a bottomless mouth but the old pianist ghost holding his dizzy head.

'Ow...' He muttered. 'Das war eine schlechte idee...'

Luigi charged up his Strobulb and flashed Amadeus as quickly as he could. The hope he had to finish this harrowing fight there and then was dashed when the stunned ghost simply fell back into his piano like a pharaoh returning to his coffin, and slammed the lid back down.

The 'eyes' began to glow again.

Daisy charged at him. 'You're not getting away from _me_!'

She reached out for the possessed instrument, hoping to get the lid open, when the lid opened itself for her. It gave her a face full of teeth as it roared out that horrific dying animal sound. She jumped back and barely managed to stop a heart attack.

'GAH! Just STOP it, please!'

The piano leapt into the air once again, but instead of trying to flatter our heroes it flew back onto the stage, and landed with two of its legs right on the very edge.

Daisy growled in sheer frustration, before slumping her shoulders and sighing. 'I swear to Grambi... I'm about to **smash that piano to **_**smithereens!**_'

Luigi shuddered, suddenly feeling more scared of her than he did of Amadeus. That changed, however, when the piano's 'mouth' opened wide showing off all those razor sharp teeth. It held its jaw wide open, almost resembling a dumpster.

'Come at me, Amadeus!' Daisy shouted. 'So I can kill you for a second time!'

The piano made a sound best described as a T. Rex getting ready to puke out its meal. After making that bizarre emission, it spat out _lit bombs_.

Bombs heading for our heroes.

'DAHHH!'

'He's throwing b- you have got to be f-!'

The bombs spread themselves out, each flashing red at their own times, and were set on their targets. Luigi and Daisy ran back well out of their way. The moment they hit the ground they detonated, leaving our heroes just barely out of the blast zone.

The smoke that was left behind scattered. The musty smell of napalm made Luigi sneeze.

'Okay Luigi, got any ideas?' Daisy asked. 'At all? Anything. I'll take jumping out the _window_ if you think it's best!'

Luigi tried to think for even a second, but as soon as he began brainstorming any way to win this fight, Amadeus sent another round of lit bombs their way, along with a few big musical notes made entirely of a fiery energy.

'I... I don't know!' He cried as he avoided the second round. 'I-I don't even think we can run away with the portrait! He'd have the button we need...'

Though he'd never let anyone know, he seriously felt like he was moments away from a mental breakdown. His heart raced so fast that he could hear it thumping, to the point where it overpowered any other sound. His brain couldn't focus on a single thought.

The risk of death by getting blown to pieces, plus the pressure of Daisy asking for help, combined with the cacophony the piano created...

It wrecked havoc on his mind. He didn't even notice Daisy pulling him away from a third wave of bombs.

She gasped. 'Luigi, look at Polterpup!'

He almost couldn't do it, assuming that all he'd see was his loyal pet succumbing to the never-ending swarm of explosives. When he dared to look, it was nothing like what he was expecting.

Polterpup held one of the lit bombs in his mouth, and gulped it down in one bite. It exploded inside his body, which did little to him beyond making his abdomen expand for a second. He coughed out some smoke, and looked to his owner with a smile.

'You think he's trying to tell us something?' Daisy asked.

Luigi smiled as the lightbulb went off. 'Daisy, if a video game boss is throwing bombs at you, what do you do?'

'Easy. You-' She grinned. 'I got this.'

Amadeus unleashed a fourth wave of bombs, determined to blow up either our heroes or the hotel - whatever came first. Daisy leapt into the air and, like an olympic basketball playing, grabbed one of the explosive spheres from midair.

Everything seemed to slow down. Memories of losing her gold medal in Volleyball to Blaze annoyed her, and now was the time to prove those judges that she deserved that gold.

'I'm gonna teach that fire cat what for.' She muttered.

Luigi wondered where the heck this came from.

Daisy held the bomb up like a basketball. She narrowed her eyes. In a split second, a sports announcer that totally wasn't her own inner voice narrated for her.

'_Can Daisy make this one-in-a-thousand shot? Or will she walk away defeated and dejected?_'

Just throw the bomb already.

'_And she... goes for it!_'

She threw the bomb over her shoulders and tossed it at the piano's open jaw. Unfortunately she was so focused on the throw that she hit the ground face-first.

Luigi was about to yell her name out, but stopped himself upon remembering that she didn't like him doing that.

Daisy didn't stay on the ground for long, as she had to see her little plan succeed. The bomb fell directly down into the instrument's bottomless throat. The piano's jaws came to a stop and stayed wide open, as if to say 'ah... crud'.

***BOOM***

Smoke bellowed from the jaws, seeping into the air and dissipating. The explosion knocked the piano over onto its side, showing off the bottom of it for all to see.

'Yay!' Luigi cheered, doing a little hopping dance. 'You did it!'

Daisy smirked, but only for a moment. 'We're not out of the haunted woods yet, sweetie! We still gotta seperate this guy from his host.'

Pressure fell onto Luigi again, but this time he thought of a plan much quicker. The bottom of the currently-stunned piano had a little white sun pattern in the middle, which looked awfully like a target.

He aimed his Suction Shot directly at that little sun, and fired. The plunger stuck like nails to a magnet.

'Good thinkin', Luigi!'

Luigi grabbed onto the rope dangling from the plunger with his Poltergust, and backed away until the rope got tight. He lifted the nozzle up to slam the instrument, but it wouldn't budge. He pulled against it, again and again, growing more and more stressed with each failed attempt.

'It's too heavy!' He cried.

Not one to leave her plumber in distress, Daisy rubbed her gloved hands together and grabbed onto the Poltergust nozzle alongside him.

'No way we're letting you do this on your own!' Daisy yelled. 'Hey Polterpuppy!'

The spectral hound nodded, and grabbed onto the rope with his mouth. He pulled on it slightly, growling like he were in a game of tug-o-war.

Luigi stared at his partners in shock. He almost couldn't believe his luck, being able to go on this adventure with such loyal and loving team-mates. From his last two horror quests by himself, the very thought of having great friends by his side made his heart soar.

'Okay boys,' Daisy said. 'We all pull on the same time on the count of three.'

Luigi nodded, sharing her determined grin.

'Alright! Three...'

'Two...'

'ARF!'

Everyone lifted the nozzle up at once. The piano flew over their heads, and they didn't let go until the piano slammed into the ground.

***SMASH***

The instrument immediately shattered into pieces beyond repair.

'Yeah!' Daisy yelled as she fist-pumped.

'Gah!' Luigi exclaimed. 'S-Sorry!'

From the wreck of the formal grand instrument, emerged a very furious Amadeus Wolfgeist. His hands grasped his matted hair as he stared at what remained of his beautiful piano.

'You...' He spat. 'You mortal SCUM! First you bring harm to my sweet little Gloria, then you destroy the one thing I had left. Hellen was right about you. You are **reprehensible**!'

Luigi stammered out about fifty more apologies.

'Don't get mad at us!' Daisy said. 'If you just handed the button over, we wouldn't have to fight you like this.'

'As if I'd ever let you go after you brought harm to my Gloria!'

Daisy groaned in pure, unadulterated frustration and agony. 'Good lord, can you stop going on about her?! We ne-'

'We never hurt her!' Luigi blurted out.

All eyes in the room fell onto him, including those of the furious pianist. He gulped.

'I-I swear! W-We haven't even gone near her! S-She's all the way on floor fourteen, and the h-highest we've gone is floor five. H-How could we have hurt her?'

Amadeus felt about ready to scream in the green man's face and denounce his blatant lies, but something about the man's voice stopped him.

'I-I don't wanna hurt anyone! I-I didn't even want to hurt you! But you were ruthless... and I understand why.'

Every quiver, every stammer, every voice-crack sounded genuine to Amadeus. The man sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Daisy, meanwhile, watched Luigi in shock.

'You thought your daughter was in danger. Anyone would act the way you did. And... and... I'm sorry.'

The man stopped to take sharp and heavy breaths. Amadeus thought over his words carefully. Now that anger no longer clouded his judgement, he could put the pieces together more logically.

He was there when Hellen handed them all buttons to keep hold of, up to and including when she gave Steward two to 'make up for all his hard work', much to Chambrea's anger. That maid would've grabbed all the buttons for herself if she could.

Gloria had been gifted the grand final button, for reasons Hellen did not explain. If Amadeus remembered correctly, there really was no way the mortals could be anywhere near the Dance Hall.

His long-fingered hands relaxed their grip on his head. 'Y-Yes. Of course. If you captured our excitable DJ, I would have been told by every Goob and Oozer in this country.'

He slumped his arms, and sighed. His hands clenched into fists and he gritted his teeth.

'You didn't hurt my precious Gloria at all.' He said in a frighteningly serene voice. 'I've tried to kill you for nothing.'

Luigi stood on high alert, waiting for any sort of movement. Amadeus reached out for him with his unnaturally long arms. He jolted and tried to charge his Strobulb, but found his flashlight in the hands of the pianist.

'Get away from my-!' Daisy yelled, until Amadeus silenced her with a simple look.

The old pianist sighed. 'Green man, what is your name?'

Luigi blinked at him.

'Um... Luigi?'

'Luigi, I request that you capture me right now.'

'What?!' Luigi and Daisy yelled at once.

Amadeus's expression did not change at all, retaining an unsettling serenity. He aimed the flashlight at his own face.

'I do not wish to work for Hellen Gravely a second longer. Though I've never taken part in her schemes before, my performance tonight has convinced me that I must stop at once. I don't even want to imagine what horror she'll force me to commit next.'

Luigi glanced at Daisy, who could only shrug. With nothing else to turn to, he charged up his ray-based weapon.

'Just promise me one more thing, Luigi.'

'What's that?'

'Make sure that Hellen does not hurt Gloria. And punish her greatly if she does.'

Luigi nodded, and repeated that promise in his head over and over to make sure he had it committed to memory. It took a lot of willpower to let go of the Strobulb button, and he immediately used his Poltergust, getting Amadeus's tail stuck.

'And I must give you something in return.'

An elevator button appeared in his hand, seemingly from thin air. He handed it over to Daisy, who took it without a word.

The last thing Amadeus did before he disappeared was bow.

The great stage fell into silence, aside from a couple more stage lights falling and breaking apart. Most of the lights dimmed or turned off completely, with the exception of the one that pointed at Toad.

The silence broke when Daisy sighed in relief. 'Geez, I'll be honest, I thought we were goners for sure. And, uh, I definitely have Post Piano Stress Disorder now. You stay here. I'll go get the Toad.'

Daisy ran up the stage and unhooked the painting from the wall, leaving Luigi to get over what just happened.

He wiped his brow, and he stared in shock at just how much sweat was on his glove. Geez, he must've been sweating like a squeezed sponge. He winced, imaging how awful he must've smelled. Fortunately, Daisy was just as - if not more - sweaty as he was, so she wouldn't notice at all.

Luigi began to chuckle. Why? Even he didn't know. After all the stress from the past few floors and especially that fight, a feeling of lightheadedness took its place. It was like all that panic had reached its peak before suddenly disappearing.

***THUD***

He fell onto the floor as his consciousness vanished.

Daisy tossed the painting aside and rushed to him. 'Oh my gosh, Luigi!'

She knelt down before him, and breathed a sigh of relief; he had just fallen asleep. Goodness, could his ability to get to sleep quickly cause scares sometimes. She didn't know what caused this sudden slip into dreamland, but she wasn't going to ruin it for him.

Polterpup whimpered, and tugged on his owner's moustache. It snapped back like elastic, getting no response beyond a slight wince. He licked his owner's nose thoroughly, hoping it would bring him out of unconsciousness. Luigi sneezed, but somehow remained asleep.

Daisy chuckled, imaging the hurricane going on his dreams. 'Don't worry Polterpup. He's just asleep.'

The ghost doggy smiled and wagged his tail, cuddling up to his sleeping owner.

Daisy glanced at the Toad portrait laying on the floor. She propped it up with one hand, and grabbed the Dark-Light Device with the other. The device enveloped the fun guy, and pushed him out of his painted prison.

She didn't need to check the colour to know which one he was.

'YEAH, I'M FREE!' Parr T yelled as he fell flat on his face. 'Hallelujah!'

He bounced back onto his feet, and did a little dance. You wouldn't think he had been imprisoned mere moments ago. In fact, he was so happy to be free that he didn't even notice how rank Daisy was.

'You okay Pa-?'

'Okay? Of course I'm okay! You and Luigi just freed me! I think that piano guy wanted to save me too, but Luigi freed me! Hey, is he okay?'

'You mean Luigi? He's just sleeping.'

The VB went off, filling the quiet room with its catchy ringtone. Despite its volume, all Luigi did was stir in his sleep a little. Daisy rolled her eyes, and searched for the device in his pockets.

'That guy deserves a rest.' Parr said. 'Did you see that epic stuff he did? He did the thing, and then grabbed the thing with that other thing...'

Daisy zoned out the yellow-capped Toad's rambling, and answered the VB by putting it up to her eyes. The red-and-black graphics took her aback. E. Gadd had what appeared to be popcorn scattered all over his desk. She envied his ability to just sit around in safety.

'_Woah sonny! Now that was a... Daisy? Where's Luigi?_'

'Asleep on the floor. I'm not sure why, but he just sort of collapsed after that fight.'

E. Gadd sighed. 'Now isn't the time for a nap! You have a boo to return to me!'

She gave him a look, not that she could _completely_ blame him; they certainly had to save everyone fast.

'_Well, I suppose we can't have Luigi exhausted the whole time, can we? He's got five minutes, then you must get going. Posthaste!_'

'Noted. We managed to rescue Parr T, one of the trapped Toads. What do we-?'

'Y_ou saved one of the Toads? Wonderful! So that just leaves... two more Toads and a princess!_'

She rolled her eyes again. 'And _Mario_.'

'_And Mario, yes! The Toad will be safe in my ghost-proof bunker. Give Luigi his five-minute rest, and go explore the next floor!_' And the call ended like that.

Daisy put the VB away into her pocket with a huff. Was this really what Luigi had to deal with in the last ghostly adventures?

'Ooh, what did the scientist guy say?' Parr asked, a big smile on his face.

'He wants you to return to his bunker.'

'Oh, okay! ... Where is it?'

'Floor B1. Go down the hallway and into the carpark. You can't miss it. Just be careful about the g-'

'YAY!' Parr yelled as he ran out the doors. 'Another adventure!'

Daisy giggled. That mushroom's enthusiasm never failed to make her beam. She turned to her sleeping partner, giving a soft smile.

She brushed her hand across his cheek and, in-spite of the metallic gloves she donned, he smiled contently, emitting a cute 'hmmm...'. Polterpup laying beside him just made it all the more adorable. How were already cute things even cuter when asleep?

'How am I meant to wake you up?' She asked no one in particular. 'You look too peaceful.'

Daisy remained there for a few minutes, able to listen to his peaceful breathing for hours on end. Only one ghost approached them, and Daisy slammed her into nonexistence. No more ghosts came to bother the sleeping plumber after that.

How much time had passed? She didn't really know. She could've been there for a few minutes or a few hours. But she did know that E. Gadd's time limit was coming to an end.

'Mmhhh...'

The murmur in his sleep brought her back to Earth. Compared to all the happy sounds he'd made before, this one was noticeably worried.

'Luigi?'

He stirred in his sleep, his soft smile turning into a frown. 'M-Mario?'

Daisy gasped. 'Luigi? Luigi, sweetie!'

'Mario!'

'LUIGI!'

'ARF!'

Luigi's eyes shot wide open. He sat himself up and failed to control his erratic breathing. The sight of his princess and dog watching him with worry slowed his heart rate a bit.

'D-Daisy! I-I'm so sorry! I-I...'

'Breathe Luigi, breathe.'

He followed her advice, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. It took a few cycles until he recovered from his shock.

'Feeling better?'

'Y-Yeah.'

'Nightmare?'

'... Yeah.'

'Wanna tell me about it?'

In a few moments of thought, he tried to recall what he saw. Perhaps fortunately, most of it was a blur.

'I saw, um, a lotta things. Giant pineapples, a golden robot, some dancers, some redneck twins...'

'Uh, what?'

'Yeah, I don't either. But then I saw... Mario trapped in that portrait. And I ran for him, b-but I couldn't get any closer. It was like that endless staircase!' A pause. 'Do you think it's King Boo's doing?'

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Uh... maybe. Whether it's to discourage you or lure into a trap, I have no idea.'

Luigi straightened up the straps on his Poltergust, and got to his feet.

'If it was to discourage me, he failed.'

* * *

Parr T had made it to E. Gadd's bunker without a scratch, and button number six had warped itself into place.

'So,' Daisy said. 'Do you remember what floor six was?'

'Uh, I'm not sure. It mentioned something about a jousting tournament, but according to the elevator tracker it's a... castle?'

The elevator tracker showed them the map of the very big floor, naming it 'Castle MacFrights'.

'You trying to tell me they put a _castle_ is this hotel?' Daisy said. 'Just as long as there aren't any pianos, I'm sure we'll be fine.'

She reached out to press the button...

'MROW!'

And jumped back when a ghostly pink cat stuck her head out of the tiny hole, holding the button in her mouth.

'Whoa, hello!'

Polterpup perked up at the sight of a fellow ghost pet, while Luigi stared. Why a ghost cat surprised him so much was beyond him. Ghost _dogs_ were a thing after all, even since the beginning.

The jewel on her necklace had dark blue writing on it that spelled out her name downwards - 'Polterkitty'.

She squeezed the rest of her body out and perched herself on the floor, revealing herself to have not one, not two, but three tails. Luigi couldn't help but think she looked like a Ghost-type regional form of Espeon. Though he was more partial to Leafeon himself, he thought she looked rather cute.

Daisy thought otherwise. 'Bad kitty! Drop that button right now. Drop it. Drop it!'

Like most cats, Polterkitty was not one to obey commands, at least from anyone who wasn't her master. Instead, she threw the button into the air, caught it in her mouth again...

And swallowed it in one gulp.

* * *

_**AMADEUS WOLFGEIST, THE PROTECTIVE PIANIST**_

_AGE - 60_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Unknown_

_Amadeus Wolfgeist's death left many of his works unfinished. So, he spends his afterlife performing all his arrangements, both completed and not. He cares deeply for DJ Phantasmagloria, and sees her as his daughter. Due to losing most of his 'real' children back when he was still alive, he will protect her until the end, and mangle those who hurt her._

_**PARR T, THE CHEERY FUN GUY**_

_Parr T. is the yellow Toad invited along for the vacation, before getting held capture by Amadeus. As his name implies, he's very cheerful. If you were to set him on fire, for instance, he'd happily declare that he was warm and cosy, as opposed to being fried. Don't ask me how I know this._

* * *

**Author Notes - The Super Mario 64 reference was just too easy to make.**

**I love Amadeus Wolfgeist so, so much. Notice me, senpai. ... I am so, so sorry. I'll, uh, see myself out now.**

**Amadeus's familiar love for Gloria was inspired by how they're both music-based, albeit in two different genres. And it all went from there. No, the two are not actually father-and-daughter biologically, considering one died in the 1980's and the other three centuries ago. Adoptively, however...**

**His protectiveness over her was certainly not supposed to be as big of a thing as it was, but I like it better like that.**

* * *

_Amadeus Wolfgeist travelled the world, everywhere from the Steam Gardens, to Sarasaland, to the Forgotten Isle, to the Beanbean Kingdom, to Cramalot, to the Waffle Kingdom, to Isle Defino, to... everywhere. No longer held down by mortal limits, he went everywhere to hear all the beautiful and unique music he could._

_But his musical adventure had come to a halt one day, when he stumbled into a place known as 'Glitterville'. He came across what appeared to be an abandoned disco hall._

_Though he wasn't particularly fond of this new 'disco' music, it still saddened him to see a place where people could appreciate the music they loved now lost to the sands of time. 'Disco was dead', as he heard._

_He would've just up and left the place immediately, had he not noticed someone still inside. It was a young woman, no older than eighteen, with very short hair, trying to use the turntable even though the thing was falling apart._

'_What's everyone's damage?' She called to the empty hall. 'I'm, like, back in the hood dawg! I'm pumped for a gnarly party!'_

_Ignoring her incomprehensible slang, Amadeus noticed her translucent skin and lack of legs._

_The poor thing was a ghost._

_He drifted into the hall, and went to confront the confused girl._

'_Pardon my intrusion, but I couldn't help but notice you-'_

_Her eyes widened. 'GH-GHOOOOST!'_

_She fell backwards onto the floor and shuffled away. At first, he rolled his eyes from her stupid joke. But after looking into her terrified eyes, he realised she wasn't kidding._

_Oh, this poor young woman. It was a common 'side-effect' of becoming a ghost; it often took a while for one to realise they were a ghost. He got through it easily, but this woman seemed to have a much harder time._

'_I'm sorry to say this,' He said, reaching his arm out for her. 'But it seems you are a ghost yourself.'_

'_What?! B-But I, like, can't be! I... I was all green in the hospital, but then they let me out, so I...'_

_He placed her hand in his, and when they collided like solid objects she gasped._

'_N-No... I can't be a ghost. I-I gotta, like, take a chill pill! That totally didn't happen. I... I...'_

_Against his better judgement, he brought her into a hug. For reasons he didn't know, it felt like he was comforting his own daughter. She returned the gesture without any question._

'_I understand.' He said. 'Learning you're a ghost is a scary time. But you won't have to do it alone. How about you stay with me?'_

_The young woman broke up the hug to look him in the eyes. Tears flowed down her cheeks, yet she smiled._

'_Y-Yeah... that would be tubular.' She chuckled. 'I'm, uh, DJ Phantasmagloria, d-disco star! B-But you can, like, call me Gloria.'_

_He smiled too. 'Amadeus Wolfgeist. And I'll keep you safe. No matter what.'_

_And even when the two of them were hired to work at the Last Resort, he never broke that promise. Unlike all the children he lost when he was still alive, he'd keep this one happy and safe until the day he faded away._


	10. Not Polterkit-ing Around

**Author Notes - I'm beginning to think that my compulsive need to write is a 'side-effect' of my hyperlexia.**

**So, uh, Polterkitty. I'm sure at this point it's fairly obvious what I plan to do with her, but I won't bring it up yet because... I dunno, immersion or something? Originally this was going to end after the PK encounter, but since this chapter was so short and the next one was getting too long, I decided to transplant a bit of the next into this one.**

**I'm thinking about sketching (read - electronic art without any colour, shading, or possibly backgrounds) various scenes from this story and putting them up on my DeviantArt account. Look for that.**

**Thanks to Megan Romero and animegamefanatic for the favourites, and Xanderq and Phoenix Champion for the follows! (Seriously, everyone reading this is by default awesome).**

**CHAPTER TEN - NOT POLTERKIT-ING AROUND**

Parr T watched the ghost container unit with utter awe. The big green light glowed intensely for a couple seconds, before it faded away.

'Ooh... ahh!' He turned to the professor. 'What's the glowing light mean?'

E. Gadd, who had been hacking into Hellen Gravely's cameras to follow where our heroes were headed, spun his chair around to face his Toad friend.

'That means that another ghost has been sent to that containment unit.'

'Woah. You mean, without it even connecting? That's awesome! How?'

Parr peered into the peep hole. Sure enough, another ghost had been dropped in. The old pianist was dropped off in with the other unique ghosts, while the Goobs and the Hammer had their own seperate section.

The five ghosts inside floated around rather aimlessly.

'By using similar technology to my Pixelator - or Pixelshifter for those in Europe - I can have the ghosts transferred directly to my container unit without needing to attach the Poltergust to it! That way, Luigi's shouldn't get overfilled. Because if that happens... hoo boy.'

'Oh, that's so cool! I bet Lou's happy about that convenience!'

E. Gadd sat in silence. Disturbed by the awkwardness, he continued his attempts to hack more cameras.

'You didn't Lou about that, did you?' Parr asked.

'I'll admit, that never crossed my mind. But I'm sure it's not important!'

* * *

Amadeus did not know what to expect when he disappeared into the Poltergust. Alas, no one who got trapped inside it 'lived' to tell the tale, at least anyone he knew.

He certainly did not expect to be transported to a giant room, surrounded entirely of grey walls made by a material impossible for ghosts to pass through.

'F-FREEZE!'

Amadeus didn't even need to look to know whose shaky voice that was. He glanced at the mall cop, who had his water gun aimed at his face.

'Greetings, Paul.' Amadeus said.

'D-Dat's Officer Kruller to youse...! Oh. It's just you, Mr Wolfgeist.' He lowered his aquatic weapon. 'Sorry.'

'That's quite alright, my good man. Are the rest of our captured friends here?'

His answer came in the form of aggressive yelling and grunting. Chambrea threw her entire body at the wall, attempting to break it down through any means necessary.

'I'll break outta here and get you, Green Boy!' She yelled, bashing her feather duster against her prison walls. 'You hear me?! I'll get that briefcase back if it's the last thing I do!'

Steward floated beside her, wanting to intervene but terrified to get any closer to her. He noticed his pianist friend dropping by.

'Oh, hey Amadeus.' He said. 'Sorry about Chambrea. She hasn't stopped yelling about a briefcase since she got in here. Before you ask, I have no idea what she's on about.'

Amadeus rolled his eyes. 'No doubt something she stole again. I know we all have our nasty habits, but...'

The maid stopped her attacks just to glare at him. 'I deserved that stupid briefcase after everything Ms Gravely puts me through without a scrap of pay!'

The pianist didn't even flinch from her anger. She had always been one of the more defiant ones, getting the closest to saying 'I resign' to their boss out of all of them.

Chef Soulfflé was lying on the floor, lamenting the frying pan that he lost, when Amadeus caught his attention.

'What are you doing in here?' He asked, approaching him. 'Zat green gentleman seems to prefer being nice over attacking without question. Surely he would've left you alone.'

Amadeus, unable to look at his fellow ghosts, turned around and faced the giant metal panels that blocked the only way out. He rubbed his hand down the wall, only to give himself something to focus on.

'You... you attacked him?!' Soulfflé accused. 'Why on earth did you do zat?'

Kruller stepped in between the murderous chef and the regretful pianist, though horrified at the possibility of the former knocking him unconscious.

'N-Now Soulfflé,' He said. 'I-I'm sure dat Wolfgeist has a reason for attackin' da green bud.'

'Indeed, I did.'

The already rather quiet room plunged into complete silence as everyone turned their attention over to Amadeus.

'I wanted nothing to do with Hellen's plan, until she lied to me and told me that...' He paused. 'That Luigi hurt Gloria.'

Everyone else shared a universal gasp, except for Soulfflé who just glared.

'And you believed such a blatant lie?!' He yelled. 'Gloria is all zee way on zee fourteenth floor! Do you know how many of us zee green gentleman would need to defeat before zen? Do you see Ug? Or Serpci? Or even our delusion king?!'

Kruller aimed his water gun at him, though it failed to tame the chef in any way. Soulfflé just knocked it out of his hand.

'Don't blame him!' Steward cried. 'We all know that Ms Gravely is capable of some horrible mind games, and with that boo guy amplifying her power we stood no chance!'

Chambrea crossed her arms. 'Hmph! Frankly, that green boy deserved to be attacked. With how he captures our kind without a care and steals what we rightfully deserves, he needs someone to teach him a lesson!'

The other ghosts all looked at her with contempt. With the container unit sparing them from Ms Gravely's mind games, she didn't even have that excuse.

'What do you mean, he captured you without a care?' Soulfflé asked. 'Zere is no need to place all your anger for our boss on him!'

'If he just let me have that briefcase, I would've left him alone!' She yelled back. 'It wasn't even his! His stuff has that green L on it, which that briefcase did not. But MAYBE, if our boss actually paid me-'

'Oh, so you think you have it hard?' Steward brought himself into the conversation. 'At least you kinda like cleaning things. At least you get some help. I have none of that!'

Soulfflé approached them. 'I ask for no pay and Ms Gravely rewards me by eighty-sixing zee vast majority of my menu! Do you know what it is like to have a yearning to create zat you cannot satisfy?'

The three of them launched into a three-sided argument over who was the most screwed over. The points made couldn't be heard as they yelled over each other.

Kruller frowned. 'P-Please stop fightin' among yourselves. O-Or I'll hafta arrest youse for a public disturbance.'

It was times like this when Amadeus cursed his role as the only sane one. He stretched out his arms like he was ready for a performance.

'BE QUIET, ALL OF YOU!'

It succeeded at getting everyone to shut up and look to him. He straightened out his hair and cleared his throat.

'Though I lack the leadership skills of Serpci or William MacFrights, the teamwork of the triplets, or even the clever strategies of Ug or Fishook, I'm certainly the best we have right now. And I suggest that fighting among ourselves is going to accomplish nothing.'

Chambrea cocked an eyebrow. 'What, and if we band together and sing a song about how friendship is magic or whatever, we'll magically break out?'

Kruller smiled. 'Ooh, we're doin' dat? I'll start!' He cleared his throat. '_I used to wonder what friendship could be_.'

'SHUT IT!' Soulfflé yelled.

The security guard did as he was told, and the three bitter ghosts continued their pointless argument. The only things anyone could make out were Soulfflé swearing in French, Chambrea insulting just about everyone, and Steward worrying about his 'sweet Johnny'.

Amadeus sighed, and stared off into his new metallic prison. What had happened to them? They used to get along so well, like the best of friends, but now they fought more than the Capulets and Montagues.

He blamed their boss. Whether she intended to or not, she drove a wedge between her workers. The thought of her would've made his blood boil if he had any, but unfortunately there was nothing they could do to escape her.

Chambrea and Ug's failed escape plan from years ago still ran strong in everyone's mind. It was surprising how painful electro-shock collars could be for a ghost.

* * *

'Hey!' Daisy yelled at the spectral kitty. 'Give that back!'

Polterkitty responded exactly how any cat would to a scolding order - complete and utter indifference. It was as if Daisy wasn't even there at all. She simply strutted away with her nose in the air as the mortals watched.

'Mrow.' She 'said', not even giving them the dignity of looking at them.

Polterpup bowed down before her, barking in joy to signify the start of the friendly game. She glanced at him for a moment, her eyes going wide, before she responded by making him talk to the tail. His head and tail drooped.

'Okay, that's it!' Daisy said. 'Come back here!'

She ran out of the elevator and charged after the cat.

'Uh, Daisy, I don't think that's gonna-' Luigi tried to explain, following after her.

She went to grab all three of that cat's long curvy tails.

'And, GOTCH... hey!'

Polterkitty, like any cat, was not going to let herself get captured as easily as that. Avoiding the crazy woman's grasp took little more than a slight change in direction. She scampered off down the hall, with Polterpup in no mood to chase after her.

Daisy threw up her arms and groaned. 'We don't have time for this! Now we have to deal with a stupid cat taking the button.'

She was about to chase the cat down again, but Luigi grabbed onto her wrist. It stopped her on the spot, and the face of anger he expected was instead one of confusion.

'Uh, I think that, um...' Why was explaining himself so difficult? 'I should go after her. Cats, uh, don't do well with people running at them screaming.'

He dreaded her response, but the dread went away when she smiled.

'Okay! I'm right behind you.'

Luigi looked down to his loyal dog, whose call to action from his owner served as a pick-me-up. Already this reminded him of those times in Evershade Valley before Polterpup became his pet, and instead stole keys or clock hands away from him.

Polterkitty seemed to be quite a bit more malicious, though.

Tracking the kitty down was not a difficult task. She sat on the podium, licking the back of her paw and rubbing it against her forehead, faced away from Luigi and Daisy.

Luigi smiled. That little kitty looked so cute, all relaxed on her little throne. Suddenly, the fact that she had stolen something from them vanished. All he saw was a cute little feline.

'Luigi!' Daisy whisper-yelled to him, bringing him back to reality. 'Don't just sit there and gawk. Go after her!'

'Uh, d-do we have to?' He asked, as confident as he sounded. 'She's just a kitty. She probably doesn't know what she's really done.'

Daisy groaned. 'Cats don't just pop their heads out of walls and randomly take the one thing you need the most. She totally knows what she's done.'

Even Polterpup nodded in agreement. Luigi rubbed the back of his neck.

'But... she's just a kitty.' He said.

Daisy sighed. 'Alright, I'm taking over now.'

'Please, no...'

She ignored him, a rare event, and approached the ghostly cat as silently as possible. Polterkitty either hadn't noticed her, or didn't care to. Considering her species it was most likely the latter.

While Luigi had to give credit for her trying to be sneaky for once, he wasn't sure if he agreed with her logic.

I guess if Daisy said it, then it's right. That kitty probably is doing this on purpose. But why?

Daisy smirked. With how close she was to the kitty now, it was all but guaranteed that she had her.

'Gotcha!'

She grasped Polterkitty's middle tail, and pulled on it just a little. The cat's eyes shot when open; clearly, she didn't expect the mortal to actually be able to grab her without her wanting to.

'You're not getting away from me n...' Her confidence trailed off.

Daisy did not expect what happened next. At all.

'MIAOW!'

A blinding pink light emerged from Polterkitty and covered her entire body. From behind her bright veil, she grew in size tremendously. Her body and tails became thicker and more defined, and her claws expanded enough to make Wolverine jealous.

'RAWRR!'

The light vanished, and Daisy was now face-to-face with a purple, ghostly panther, bigger than her. This new form of Polterkitty stood on her hindlegs, her front paws and their long claws in the air.

'OH MY GRAMBI!' Daisy cried, falling onto her rear and backing away.

'WAAAHHHH!' Luigi screamed, nearly dropping his flashlight.

'YIIIP!'

Polterkitty lashed out, aiming her sickles at Daisy's face. The princess leaned back just enough to avoid it.

'Uh, sweetie, wanna help me out here?'

Luigi fumbled with his flashlight, and ran for the spectral panther with the Strobulb charging. Polterkitty flashed him a look, and upon seeing the light coming for her she turned around and jumped.

'Get back here, you coward!' Daisy shouted.

Polterkitty perched herself on a little balcony barely big enough for her near the ceiling, snarling at the mortals down below. Spittle fell fell down from her sharp teeth and onto our heroes. Daisy took it like nothing, but Luigi cringed.

The flash from the Strobulb couldn't make it all the way up there. Even if it could, Polterkitty put a paw in front of her terrified face.

Luigi's heart sank. 'Aw, she's scared.'

Daisy sighed. 'You're too innocent for your own good sometimes, you know that?'

'But look at her!'

At this point, our heroes now faced each other and not their catty enemy. As they bickered, Polterkitty leapt off her perch and began to stalk towards them.

'Of course she's scared of us. They all are! As they should be.'

'But... she's just a kitty.'

'Not now she isn't! Now she's a giant hulking pan-'

Both heroes turned their heads to the panther, who was just a few feet away from them. The moment their eyes lay upon her, she high-tailed back to her little platform, roaring on them once again.

'You... you saw that right?' Daisy said.

'Um, you mean seeing that we were a second away from being torn apart?' Luigi replied.

'Yeah, that.' She gasped. 'Turn around!'

Against his wishes, she grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to face the other wall. She faced the same direction and side-stepped a few feet away from him.

'C-Can I ask what you're doing?' He asked.

'You'll see.' She said. 'Just, whatever you do, don't turn around. I repeat, do not turn around.'

With a gulp, he nodded. Against his better judgement, he trusted her. Polterkitty seized this opportunity, and resumed her attack.

Luigi shuddered. He could hear that cat's footsteps getting closer and closer, every second bringing him closer to being teared to ribbons.

'N-N-Now what?' He asked.

Daisy stepped backwards a bit, once she was certain she was out of Polterkitty's view. 'Just trust me. I got this.'

He wanted to go against her. He wanted to turn around and Strobulb the panther, or at least scare her off. He fought this urge, and placed all his trust in his princess.

Daisy tip-toed behind Polterkitty, staying out of her vision as she approached the tails.

'That's right, girl. Have your little green snack.'

She grunted; referring to Luigi as nothing more than bait left a bad taste in her mouth.

Luigi was about ready to have a complete nervous breakdown. He could feel the cat's warm breath on his neck, and hear the growling coming from her throat. Still, he did as he was told.

Polterkitty rose up onto her hindlegs and roared, spreading her forelegs out to trap him in a horrible embrace.

'DAAAAIIISSYYYY!' Luigi screamed, losing about fifty manly points in the process.

'I have you now!' Daisy declared, grabbing hold of Polterkitty's left tail.

The panther cried out in pain. Luigi dared to turn around, and saw Daisy keeping her grip on Polterkitty no matter how much the feline struggled.

'No one tries to hurt my Luigi and get away with it!'

Luigi smiled, wide, at the sight of his princess's plan going perfect. His smile faded, however, when a feeling of guilt overtook him.

_I doubted her... how could I? I should've known she had it under control..._

Though Daisy pulled hard, Polterkitty stood her ground. Suddenly, Daisy fell backwards to the floor, the tail still in her hands.

'What the...?!'

The tail was no longer attached to Polterkitty, and had been ripped clean off. It flailed around like a Blooper's tentacle that had just been cut off, before it disintegrated into dissipating ghostly particles.

Luigi winced. Despite how painful it looked, Polterkitty barely reacted at all. It took her a few moments to even realise that one of tails had been ripped off, and when she did she looked at her remaining tails in horror before directing a glare at Daisy.

'RAAAWWR!'

Polterkitty did not expect this much might from the princess. In fact, she didn't expect the princess _at all_. With how much her owner went on and on about King Boo and the green guy, she hardly ever mentioned the orange one.

A pink light consumed her, and disappeared in moments. By the time it vanished, Polterkitty had returned to her much smaller form, as seamlessly as before, standing among the rubble of the podium. Except now she looked even more like an Espeon, with only two tails.

Daisy groaned. 'What are you, a lizard?'

Polterkitty hissed at her, and high-tailed it for the doors that led to the grand stage. She got her head through, but the rest of her got stuck. Whining and kicking her legs about, she managed to press herself out all the way.

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup wagged his tail and chased after her, getting himself through the door far easier than she did.

Daisy pinched the bridge of her nose. 'So, this is how it felt when Polterpup ran off with those keys, huh?'

'Pretty much, yeah.' Luigi replied, sharing her frustration. 'Except he was just being playful. I'm not sure about, um, Polterkitty I think her name is?'

'I say she's doing this just to spite us. Come on!'

The mortals opened the door up to the stage no less empty than it was when they left, aside from Gustavo trying to swipe up the remains of the piano to no avail.

Daisy grunted. 'You're kidding. They could've gone literally anywhere! How are we supposed to find them?'

Luigi turned the Dark-Light Device on and aimed it at the floor. The rainbow light revealed two sets of paw prints, one set pink and the other white.

'What are you doing?' Daisy asked.

Luigi thought the question was a little weird; wasn't it obvious what he was doing? He walked forward, following the prints, and leaving her behind in confusion. Regardless of how obvious he believed the answer to be, he gave it to her.

'Following the paw prints.' He said. 'The Dark-Light reveals where Polterpup and Polterkitty were.'

'Oh! Right, it can do that.'

Luigi followed the trail of paws with Daisy behind him. They carried him all the way onto the stage and behind the curtains to the left. Turned out that a door stood there. When the Dark-Light shone on the door, the imprints of both Polterpup and Polterkitty could be seen.

'I really hope they're in that room.' Daisy said. 'Okay, I want you to stay out here, and flash the kitty if and when she comes out. I'll go after her myself.'

'Uh, okay.'

Daisy stepped through the door while Luigi charged up the Strobulb. What welcomed her was a simple dressing room, with the only notable thing being the big picture of Amadeus himself hanging on the wall.

Oh, and the small piano in the corner. Daisy shivered; it was far too early to be in the midst of another one. Luckily, it was not a grand piano, and thus was unlikely to be hiding a set of teeth.

Polterpup stood before it, bowing and yipping.

'You say she's hiding in that... piano?'

'Yip yip!'

She gulped. 'Of course she is.'

Of all the things to scare her, it had to be the musical instrument. She hoped no one ever asked about her PPSD. Still, she approached the piano as briskly as she could.

'So how do I-?'

The piano began playing itself.

'Eep!'

The tune was near identical to the one that Luigi heard a ghost playing in a certain library in the Gloomy Manor.

'So glad Luigi isn't here to see me acting like an idiot...' She said, unaware that he could hear her every word.

The lid of the piano opened up.

'Oh boy!'

Meanwhile, Luigi remained in place with the Strobulb fully charged. The pulsating sound it made got on his nerves fast. He was about ready to walk into the room himself, when Polterkitty finally got her head out.

Once again, it took her some struggling before she got fully through. It made him wonder, why was it so difficult for her when the others slipped through no problem?

He obeyed the orders given to him and flashed Polterkitty the moment she got her whole body out the door. She froze for a second and mutated into a giant panther of death once again, hissing into Luigi's face.

The cat spittle flying onto his face made him wince, and he had to back away.

'N-Nice kitty! Nice kitty!'

The panthergeist leapt over him, and grabbed onto one of the few spotlights still on its hook. It supported her weight well enough - ghosts usually didn't weight much - but without any real ground to stand on she had to hug it for dear afterlife.

Daisy burst through the dressing room with Polterpup running past her. 'Good! Ya got her. Now let's repeat the strat!'

'You mean the one where I have to play bait?'

'Yes.'

Luigi sighed, and turned away from the panther who was beginning to slip. Daisy walked away from him, and watched Polterkitty in the corner of her eye.

The spectral feline dug her claws into the support beams, darting her head back and forth between the two mortals. Which one should she go for? The green guy was the one that Master wanted, but the orange lady had too much of a punch.

She lost her grip and fell to the floor, landing on all fours. Choosing quickly, she settled on the green one, the one that Master asked her to get.

She glanced at the orange lady, not trusting her for a moment, and ran for the green bait much faster than before. Daisy jumped around with a yelp.

'Whoa now! You weren't supposed to do that!'

Polterkitty pounced at the shaking man, her 'arms' and claws out. She gave out a big roar as her paws reached out, ignoring the dog barking aggressively at her. Luigi turned his head just slightly, to see the panther's claws getting far too close to his face.

He unleashed a scream that no doubt every ghost in the building heard.

'GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!'

And no doubt every ghost heard the pure rage dripping from Daisy's voice. Operating on furious instinct and nothing else, she grasped Polterkitty's right tail and slammed her into the ground.

'ROWWW!' The panther yelped in pain.

Daisy gave her no time to think and bashed her into the floor a second time, making sure this strike was even stronger than the last. Polterkitty looked up to her assailant with wide, terrified eyes.

'You lay a claw on my Luigi,' Daisy yelled. 'And you won't have any claws left!'

Polterkitty couldn't believe it. Why hadn't Master warned her that the orange lady would be this powerful? This was what she was up against? What was Master expecting of her? All the other guests she had been sent after before were far less difficult to deal with.

As for the one she was supposed to go after... was she really meant to go for him? Compared to the violent orange one, the green one seemed far nicer and far more frightened.

Was he really the one who the kingly phantom wanted mounted on a wall? The one who Master wanted so desperately to get?

'Now you better spit out that button before I yank it out of you myself!'

Polterkitty hissed at her. No matter what she thought of any order given to her, she would obey Master until the end.

Luigi watched the whole thing, divided between two different emotions: admiration and pride for his princess coming to his defence and kicking butt, or sadness and horror for the poor kitty getting beaten up.

She deserves it, he tried to tell himself. She took the button.

'Alright then.' Daisy said. 'So I'll just force it out of you!'

She yanked the panther's tail and threw her into a never-ending cycle of being slammed against the floor. Compared to Luigi's slams, which had a second delay in between in one, Daisy's had no delay whatsoever, like she was pressing 'A' at just the right time to maximise how many she could do.

Luigi stepped forward, about to tell her to quit it before stopping himself. Despite believing Daisy's claims that the feline knew exactly what she had done, Polterkitty's cries hurt to listen to.

Polterpup barked happily. Only five minutes ago had he wanted to be the kitty's friend, but now he seemed to celebrate her getting beaten. The fact that she tried to kill his owner probably had something to do with it.

After the seventh slam, the tail detached just like the last one. Polterkitty rolled across the stage, until she hit the wall.

Daisy threw the disconnected tail aside. 'Dang it! I hope you realise that if I can remove two tails, I can certainly remove the third one!'

Polterkitty backed up into the corner, the shadow of the approaching orange princess falling upon her. With her struggles to get through walls, she was essentially stuck there.

'Remember Panthergeist, the hard way is only hard for you.'

Daisy stopped approaching when the ghostly feline began hacking, like a regular old cat about to have a hairball.

'That's it. Hack it up.'

After three heavy heaves, Polterkitty opened her mouth and the elevator button spilled onto the floor, no worse for wear minus the cat slobber and bits of half-digested fish. Luigi nearly puked himself looking at it.

Daisy merely picked it up and wiped it off against her sock. As if their clothes weren't rank enough already. Polterkitty, not even changing back into her smaller form, jumped into the ceiling and disappeared in a flash, aside from the usual struggles she had with phasing through objects.

Despite her success, Daisy did not smile. 'We are absolutely going to see her again. And I know she'll try the exact same stunt again.'

Luigi approached her slowly, his fumbling hands indicating he had something to say that he wasn't totally confident about.

'Did she really, um, deserve to be treated that badly?' He asked.

She sighed. 'She stole the button. I just did what I needed to get it back.'

'But... she's just a cat.'

'She tried to kill you! Or at least deliver you to Ms Gravely. For some reason, I doubt that she's just a cat.'

She would've continued to argue her point, had she not noticed his sad eyes looking at her. As much as she genuinely believed the kitty was malicious, she realised she had no need to completely dismiss his belief.

She sighed, more forlorn this time. 'Look, whether the kitty is mean or misunderstood is not important right now. What's important is that we have the button.'

'Y-Yeah. That's true.'

'So let's just go to the next floor, and try to pretend this never happened. Okay?'

A few seconds of hesitation. 'Okay.'

Though she wanted them to forget the whole thing, Luigi couldn't help but think about that kitty. Being the animal lover he was, he thought about her cries with equal pain.

Granted, he knew that animals could do some pretty awful things. No way would he claim that they had the best grasp on morality. But, just like Polterpup, Polterkitty was certainly a step above the regular cat.

So then why did she steal the button? Perhaps Daisy was right...

But what if she wasn't?

* * *

The entire climb up, Polterkitty feared returning to Master. She knew better than anyone that if you failed Master, then Master got mad. Very mad. And with how high the stakes were to succeed in this particular mission, no way Master would let anyone off lightly.

Polterkitty ignored these silly fears. Master loved her too much to get mad. If only Master let her take off the pretty necklace that made travelling through objects hard.

By the time she arrived back into the room covered with screens and filled with the scent of King Boo, she completely forgot that she was still in her panther form.

Hellen Gravely smiled upon her arrival. 'Ah, Polterkitty! You've finally returned! Help over that button please.'

The panthergeist couldn't bare to look at Master. She immediately regretted her decision to return. Hellen's smile faded, and she tapped her fingers on her desk.

'Well, I... suppose that this minor setback is fine. Of course, it would've been much better if you, ya know, succeeded at your task, but this is fine. Just fine. This had potentially screwed us over, but fine.'

Polterkitty hated that tone that Master used sometimes. It was that 'you failed me but I will pretend you did not anger me' tone. She had heard it too much.

'But there is one thing we must absolutely fix!'

The cat's eyes widened. Upon seeing Master pull out one of her many make-up cases, she knew where this was going.

'Come here, darling. We cannot have you looking like a horrid beast!'

Polterkitty thought the panther form was better than being a prissy little cat, but Master got what Master wanted.

Hellen grabbed her pet by the neck and reeled her in, keeping her in place by wrapping her arm around her neck. Polterkitty tried to get herself free, but only barely.

Master applied that special make-up all over her face, dabbing so thoroughly that her whole body got consumed by the pink cloud. The irritating particles gave the cat a horrible sneezing fit.

By the way the pink clouds vanished, a small kitten stood in place of the hulking panther. Polterkitty's sneezing persisted a few seconds after the powder dissipated.

'There you go!' Hellen said with a great big smile. 'You're looking cute and beautiful again!'

Polterkitty couldn't look at Master any longer, and returned to her bed. What was she so doing wrong to receive such copious amounts of that horrid Gheistpaint?

She failed Master. Such a simple answer gave her so many anger, fury she directed at herself. How could she fail Master the way she did? She felt so ashamed.

Next time Master gave her an order, she was going to make sure she did it right.

* * *

Luigi was no stranger to dark, ominous castles. Bowser had at least twenty of them, including a couple in the sky. But a dark, ominous castle with _ghosts_ within it? That was a combination that he never wanted.

The elevator doors opened up, and immediately Luigi felt like he had been transported to Medieval Europe. Between the dusty old brickwork, the tattered flags and rugs, and the crackling fireplace, it gave off the authentic experience.

Well, authentic enough for a hotel, at least.

The musty smell had returned, but this was unlike that of the basement. It reminded Luigi of an old ashy fireplace.

The only thing that broke the illusion was the light hanging from the ceiling, which was near identical to those in the other floors aside from being a little bit dirty. If it wasn't for that light, he'd actually think that he had been transported to a completely different building.

'I don't remember this being on the map...' He muttered.

He could recall the pamphlet mentioning a 'medieval experience', but he had not expected the full experience.

Daisy peered past him. 'Um... are we sure this is the same hotel? Or _any_ hotel for that matter? I mean, I like it, but _why_?'

Luigi took one step out the elevator. Two suits of armour stood on the sides of the opened doors, guarding them with an axe and sword.

'I guess a haunted hotel doesn't have to be normal all the way-'

An axe fell past his face, the sharp blade missing his nose by less than an inch.

***CLANK***

'EEEK!'

He went stiff as his every nerve locked up. His eyes darted down to the axe now resting harmlessly on the floor. Polterpup growled at it, as if it were anything more than a regular old axe. Which it wasn't.

Daisy blinked a couple times, then burst into delirious giggling, much to Luigi's reddening cheeks.

'Why are you laughing?' He asked. 'That wasn't funny...'

'It wasn't!' She agreed, wiping her eyes.

I beg to differ. That was hilarious. He looked at her in utter confusion; the pieces didn't make any sense. Perhaps it was one of those 'laughing so you do not cry' moments?

Daisy tapped the axe with her foot, checking to see that it wouldn't lash out. 'That's a bad omen if I've ever seen one. Chances of survival?'

He gulped. 'L-Low.'

She grinned. 'I like those odds!'

'I don't.'

The trio entered the elevator hall, which aside from the fallen axe remained as still as an undisturbed room should. The cackling fire helped fill what would otherwise be a creepy silence. The only way out was through a small hallway to the left.

Except that it wasn't a hallway. It instead opened up to a rather large room in similar size to the fourth floor's theatre. The stony floor that took up only half of the room turned into a grand bridge over a moat, one that led to a castle wall.

The castle itself had grey bricks that, despite the moss that grew in their cracks, stood out as far more grand compared to the brown floor bricks.

But it wasn't an actual castle, or a real moat. Nothing of the sort.

'Did we just stumble into a play?' Daisy questioned.

Though it looked realistic, at the end of the day, it was merely the set of a castle wall. The moat was actual water, yes, but it could hardly be considered a moat considering how shallow and small it was. The popcorn stand in the corner especially shattered what would've been an awesome set.

Vaguely adventurous music began to play from a low-quality speaker. Now more than ever, it felt like they walked into a theme park attraction, and not an actual castle.

'This place looks... really cool.' Luigi said.

'I guess that's one way to describe it.' Daisy added.

She knocked on one of the stones in the wall. It felt and sounded like she was punching styrofoam. Probably because she was.

'I gotta see this.' She said, stepping forward.

The moment her foot hit the ground, a second, barely higher in quality, speaker turned on. Luigi shuddered at the voice.

'_**Welcome guests, to Castle MacFrights!**_' A recording of Hellen Gravely's voice announced. '_**Get ready for the full medieval experience! See genuine castles, traverse dangerous traps, and watch the king himself engage in a joust. This and more at Castle MacFrights.**_'

In a much lower, quicker voice, she added: '**_The Last Resort and its owner Ms Hellen Gravely are not responsible for any damage, injury, mugging, assault, or anything that could potentially result in death. Castle MacFrights is trademarked by the Last Resort Inc._**'

The pre-recorded message came to end, allowing the cruddy music to continue uninterrupted. It only played for a few more seconds before the music distorted and ceased playing entirely. The speaker let off several sparks, and fell to the floor into a pile of rubble.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'I see they spared no expense.'

She approached the foot of the draw bridge, with Luigi and Polterpup close behind. Compared to the rest of the realistic set, the 'wooden' bridge looked noticably plastic, straight out of a children's play-set.

She stamped her foot into it twice. 'Alright, it's stable. Let's go.'

Luigi gave the plastic bridge a quick tap himself, just to be sure. Though the water was shallow and he was a very good swimmer, he dreaded to think about how much the Poltergust would drag him down.

Polterpup cared little for the potential danger, and blissfully licked up water from that moat. He immediately spat it out; chlorine did not taste good.

Daisy opened the door - nice red wood panelling did little to prevent the regular old door from breaking the illusion - to a short hallway. In contrast to the well-lit room behind her, the hallway was dimly lit only by the light coming from the... windows?

How could there be windows? Weren't they far away from the walls of the hotel?

Four helmet-less suits of armour stood in front of each 'window', rattling just slightly as mice scampered past them and across the red carpet. To be completely fair, compared to the previous set this one was quite a bit better.

Luigi shuddered upon seeing the suits of armour, and not just because of what happened five minutes ago. At least there was a rug he could use to flip them over.

'I just want to remind ourselves that we're in a hotel right now.' Daisy said as she walked along the carpet. 'A hotel. Which was perfectly normal before we went to bed.'

'Yeah. I understand.' Luigi said, following her and unable to take his attention away from the armour.

He thought about that comment a little longer than he really needed to, considering that Daisy immediately forgot about it.

The silence of the hallway only made the paranoia of the armour springing to life so much worse. Luigi found himself involuntarily getting closer to her, as if she were Mario. And thinking about Mario just made him feel that much more lonely, despite the princess and ghost dog by his side.

Fortunately, nothing attacked him in that hallway aside from a chilling breeze against the back of his neck.

Daisy put her hand on the door handle. 'So, what are we expecting here?'

'Misery.' Luigi answered, in an appropriate tone. 'Mayhem. Madness.'

'Marvellous. Let's go.'

She opened the door and... well, it wasn't quite what they were expecting, to say the least. The first thing that caught their eye was, um, the sky? It seemed like the door had opened up to an open sunny sky, but once they got over their initial shock it was clear it was just a blue sky painted onto the walls and ceiling.

Aside from that, the way that this set was built made them feel like they were standing on and looking over a castle wall. To the left was a door blocked by bars, and to the right was a fruit stand asking to be destroyed. Near that was a small wooden gate.

Luigi couldn't focus on one particular detail, whether it was the painted sky, the fruit, or the stones that made up the 'castle wall'. Despite the fakeness of it all being obvious if you looked at it closer for two seconds, the amount of detail astounded him.

'Wow...' He muttered.

Polterpup knew exactly where he wanted to be, and rushed over to the fruit stand to gulp down a watermelon whole.

Daisy grinned, and marvelled at the set. 'Okay, this is pretty cool. Why do they need to do all the kidnapping stuff? They'd make so much money with just a little bit of advertisement.'

The one thing that managed to hold Luigi's attention was a lowered circular platform in the bricks, right in the middle of the wall. He walked over to the edge and peered over.

The set just got better. He was so occupied with letting the whole thing sink in that he didn't notice Daisy standing next to him.

The wall allowed him to overlook a mini-stadium with seats made of the finest wood he had seen in quite some time. Against the back wall, parallel to where he was standing, stood a glorious throne that had its own grand platform to stand on.

_That throne is fit for a king._

As if reading his mind, two Goobs emerged floating on either side of the throne, each holding up and playing a big old-fashioned horn. The tune they played was just the one that you would play to introduce a member of royalty.

After playing the royal song, they lowered their instruments and motioned to the seemingly empty chair.

'Hear ye, hear ye. Presenting,' They announced, as deadpanned as ghostly possible. 'The ruler of this grand and dangerous castle... King MacFrights!'

A ghost materialised, floating in front of his royal seating, one that quickly caught Daisy's attention as well. Compared to the featureless Goobs, he was a small skinny guy with an impressive red beard.

'I ameth ye ruler of this magnificent land!' King MacFrights declared with a heavy Scottish accent. 'And I am readyeth to introduceth thee to me wonderful but deadly castle!'

* * *

**_POLTERKITTY, THE FEROCIOUS FELINE_**

_AGE - Ancient, but still seemingly a juvenile_

_GENDER - Female_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Drowned by owners_

_Polterkitty is Hellen Gravely's pet. She obeys Ms Gravely's every command, no matter how dangerous or vile. She does so not to receive treats, but out of loyalty to a woman she believes will return to her nicer persona._

* * *

**Author Notes - So from this first encounter alone it should be clear that the Polterkitty in my story is very different from the panthergeist in the game.**

**It's no secret that Polterkitty is in a rather poor relationship here. My goal was to make Ms Gravely 'subtly abusive', if that makes any sense. No yelling, no hitting, just sweet manipulation.**

**It is canon, after all, that Luigi cares a lot about animals and hates to see them suffer. To quote him in LM1 - 'How could anyone treat an animal that way? I won't stand for it!' As if I didn't love him enough already...**

**I've noticed that Polterkitty, in contrast to the other ghosts who slip on through effortlessly, struggles a little each time. So, me being me, I was like 'Imma gonna take this little thing and expand it into something bigger'.**

**A random question - how would you feel about the Super Suction upgrade being obtained earlier on? It's a shame it's available so late when you can't really do anything with it.**

* * *

_The Mario Star tennis tournament had to be put on hold for a little bit, as not one but two of its star athletes got injured on the field. Luigi sat on the sidelines, holding an icepack to his blackened eye. __Mario had apologised a lot for hitting him with the ball, but Luigi blamed himself for not paying attention. He was too busy thinking about the girl he met earlier that day._

_'Hey Mario!'_

_Princess Peach arrived on the scene, and she was not alone._

_'Oh, ciao Peach!' Mario greeted. 'And how's...? Oh.'_

_Luigi gasped. The person next to Peach was Daisy, the girl he fainted in front of earlier that day. Except she looked... horrible. She had a bloody nose, bruises all over face, and bandage covering a cut on her forehead._

_The weirdest part? She smiled like she was totally okay. She hardly seemed to notice her own injuries at all._

_He couldn't help but stare at her state. 'D-Daisy, are you okay? What happened?'_

_She chuckled and grinned. 'Strap yourself in, cos it's a wild ride.'_

_He leaned forward like a child being read to by his parent. Peach just rolled her eyes._

_'See, I was on my way to totally destroy Yoshi in my next match. But then, Boom Boom showed up to attack me!'_

_Luigi gasped._

_'And, man oh man, was it a tough fight. I barely made it out alive! But he was no match for-'_

_Peach cleared her throat, stopping her story. 'Mind telling Luigi the **real** story?'_

_Daisy sighed and slumped her shoulders. Luigi could've sworn he saw her blushing slightly._

_'Okay, okay. That's not what happened. At all.'_

_Peach smirked. 'Go on.'_

_Daisy glared at her. 'I was training with Peach here, when __I tried to do this epic trick shot by jumping over the net, and... Icaughtmyfootonthenetandfellflatonmyface. Turns that it really hurts.'_

_Mario and Peach chuckled, to which Daisy responded by playfully shoving them both aside. Luigi himself found it hard to contain his childlike giggles. __The 'offical' couple laughed it up, much to the embarrassment of the injured players. Daisy sat next to Luigi, smiling._

_'It's kinda funny, actually.' She said. 'Usually I can make a jump like that like it's nothing.'_

_'What happened?' Luigi asked._

_'It's between the two of us, but... I was a little too busy thinking of you.'_

_Both sides blushed._

_She giggled. 'You too?'_


	11. Hassle in the Castle

**Author Notes - Castle MacFrights is a great level, cos it's when the game stops fooling around and throws you into the bizarre theming and deadly traps. ****Seriously, that room with the spiky walls can go screw itself.**

**Regardless, a room or two may be cut, or even combined with another. I wanna get this floor done in two chapters, if at all possible. Don't worry, I'll make sure we still get to see all the stuff this floor has to offer. ****Why do I do this? Because I'm worried about this story getting too long, and I want most floors to be done in two chapters max. The exceptions for now are the Boilerworks and the Tomb Suites, which I will allow to go into three chapters if necessary. And the Master Suite/Rooftop will take as many as it needs.**

**I'm going to try to make the chapters a little shorter from now on, even if only by 500-to-a-thousand words or so.**

**BTW, if anyone's wondering how I'm fairing with a certain pandemic going on right now, I was one of those lucky few to be that 'my reclusive life barely changes at all' type. Not to mention that I live on that tiny island under Australia, so it's somewhat remote. For now, everything is fine.**

**Thanks to yorukakusaku, Cyan Quartz, Zen9, WhyareUsernamesTakenAlready, hesalreadyhere, RisingSonic17, and LovelyTeng2002 for the favourites! Sweet Grambi did I get a lot since last chapter!**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN - HASSLE IN THE CASTLE**

'Hellen Gravely, I would like a quick word with you.'

The hotel owner yelped; she hadn't quite expected her darling to drop in like this. She spun her chair around and put on a bashful smile.

'Oh, darling! Why are you here? Shouldn't you be... wherever you were, watching over my brilliant plan?'

'Funny. That's precisely what I wanted us to talk about.'

Hellen kept up her smile, but on the inside she felt like doing what the previously-living ghosts called 'dying for a second time'.

'W-What is there to talk about, darling? My plan is working perfectly!' She then muttered, 'If my useless staff were to stop acting like morons...'

'Yeah, I'm not so sure about that, 'darling'. Haven't you noticed that Luigi and his tomboy friend have already saved a Toad?'

'Why, yes! I have noticed that. Now, if my Polterkitty only managed to successfully steal that button...'

The cat in question, who had been trying to sleep but simply couldn't, glared up at her.

King Boo sighed. 'I think there's a problem when your master plan relies on a _cat_.'

'Look, it's just a minor setback. I promise. My hotel trap has worked since the beginning. I'm sure Charles and Sam alone are proof enough of that. I can assure you that we will have Luigi captured.'

'You better.'

He turned around and looked at the portrait of Mario. At least he could always marvel at the terror in that heroic plumber's eyes. It helped him forget the desperation.

'That Luigi...' He muttered. 'I would possess his body and throw him off a _cliff _if I could.'

'Then, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you?'

He groaned. 'Boos aren't very good at possessing people. The victim has to be pretty dang scared for it to work.'

She chuckled. 'Then surely possessing that dirty coward would be an easy task.'

During their exchange, Polterkitty growled to herself. Why couldn't Master give _her_ attention? Why did Master have to care so much about a doomed romance?

'You'd think so.' King Boo continued. 'But surprisingly Luigi's never been _that_ terrified of me.' He smirked. 'But I know someone who is.'

* * *

The Goobs continued their deadpanned speech that they probably had repeated hundreds of times before. 'On your tour you will experience thrills and spills as you traverse the castle of King MacFrights. Be warned, as there are several traps along the way, and...

The Goob on the left threw up his arms in exasperation and stopped his speech dead. 'Oh, I can't do this anymore.'

He looked straight up at the mortals, caring none about the looks his king and fellow Goob were giving him.

'Sorry for the confusion, humans.' He said. 'But he's not a king. Nor was he ever. Sorry, I can't do this stupid speech anymore.'

MacFrights gave no delay and smacked him upside the head. The Goob took it rather well, and just looked at him with mild annoyance.

'THOU WILL NOT GIVETH THY KING SUCH INSOLENCE!' The 'king' shouted. 'Ow dare thou questioneth me royal status! If thou weren't already deadeth, I'd 'ast thou be'eaded for thy disdainful acts against me!'

The Goob just rolled his pupil-less eyes. 'Sir, you don't-'

'I AM THY 'IGHNESS! Refereth to me as such!'

'Your highness, you don't have the power to do that. Ms Gravely is the one who-'

'Do not speaketh yon name around me! Ye 'ussy 'ast tried to ASSASSINATETH ME far too many times!'

The two Goobs, Polterpup, and the mortals stared at the 'king', all sharing the same incredulous expression. Needless to say, no one, not even Luigi, was taking this guy's threats seriously.

'Uh-huh. Right. Your highness!' Daisy called, leaning over the edge of the castle wall slightly. 'You wouldn't happen to have a small glowing thing, would you?'

MacFrights grinned. 'As a matter of fact, thee dear peasant, I doth.'

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact object the mortals wanted - an elevator button. Luigi could barely make out a '7'. The 'king' held the button up and shook it around, like a dog owner taunting their pet with a doggy treat.

'If thee peasants wanteth it, there be a way ta geteth it.' He said. 'If thou manage to reacheth me glorious stadium, thou may entereth a jousting tournament with me. Ye winner getseth thy sparkling gold thing! But I warn thee, I am nigh undefeatable. So, what do thou sayeth?'

Daisy put her foot onto the stone wall she leaned over, and gave her opponent a cocky smirk. 'I accepteth thy challenge, your highness!' She groaned at the realisation that she was doing it too now.

Luigi yelped. 'Uh, D-Daisy? Shouldn't we think this over f-?'

'So it's settled!' MacFrights declared. 'Maketh it to ye arena and thou two shall challengeth me for ye grande prize! I predicteth that thy battle will not disappointeth.'

Ignoring Luigi's pleads to at least take things slow and carefully, Daisy rushed to the small wooden gate that lead to the arena. Sure, it was closed, but there was literally nothing preventing her from just vaulting over it.

'Whoa!'

Uh, on second thought, there _was _something stopping her from merely vaulting over. Paranormal gates emerged and locked into the ground, baring off not just the gate but the entire wall as well.

The latter was especially frustrating, as throwing herself off the wall was her next option.

'Ah ah ah!' MacFrights said. 'We wouldn't wanteth thou cheatin' and going througheth me gates to geteth to me early, would thou now? If thou want to challengeth me, then thou must go througheth ye full gauntlet of Castle MacFrights! Guards, open ye olde door!'

One could assume 'guards' referred to the two suits of armour standing by the blocked off door to the left, but considering that they weren't sentient at all it seemed unlikely. On his cue, the bars that blocked the door rose up, allowing mortals to pass through.

'If thou mere mortals succeedeth in navigating me domaine, I will considereth ye worthy of a fight! But I warneth thou, ye olde castle be filledeth to ye brim with traps. I 'opeth thou art quick in ye brain and on ye feet, or ye traps will giveth thou a one-way-trip to me graveyard.'

Daisy could barely pay attention to his words thanks to his utter butchering of old-styled English, but she got the message.

'Um, what is he saying?' Luigi asked, unable to understand him through his thick accent and abuse of Ye Olde English.

'We just accepted a challenge to go through a bunch of death traps. You okay with that?'

He blinked at her. 'You know the answer to that.'

'Look, it's a set where the walls are made of foam. We'll be fine.'

The second she finishing saying that, Luigi already knew that he wouldn't be fine.

The trio entered the first door, Luigi stepping through last. The next room was not unlike the hallway, just a little wider and lacking windows. The absence of windows made everything so much darker to the point of barely being visible, with Luigi's flashlight providing much needed illumination.

The only real difference was that the armour had been moved into the corners, and various weapons like axes and swords hung from the walls and racks.

Daisy noticed the flashlight beam jittering about. 'You okay, sweetie?'

'O-Oh yeah.' He said. 'I'm just great. C-Couldn't be happier!'

She chuckled. 'Like I said, walls made of foam. This is basically a Disneyland tour.'

While the mortals conversed, Polterpup picked up a scent far less inviting than that of the fruit stands. He put his nose to the floor and followed it up to one of the suits of armour. The metal emitted a ghostly aura.

'Yip!'

He yipped over and over while pointing at the armour. Neither Luigi nor Daisy noticed him.

'Oh, and I'm sure this fifteen storey deathtrap is just a hotel, right?' The man in green said.

'Well that's just... a really good point, actually. But I'm still waiting for a tour guide. I'll convinced if,' She put her chin in her hand. 'I dunno, one of those suits of armour came to life.'

She immediately regretted those words.

Polterpup yelped and jumped back as the armour's foot jolted forward. It caught the humans' attention, just in time for them to see it lifting its entire leg forward. Its helmet snapped to them, and it lifted its battle axe into the air.

'Luigi, I know what you're about to say.' Daisy said. 'And to that I say, shut up.'

He was in no mood to say anything along the lines of 'told ya so'. That would require him to not be in a state where his knees moved more like his gooey counterpart.

Though it moved slowly, the suit waddled forward like a soulless robot set only to kill. As it lumbered towards them, it repeatedly muttered a single phrase in a low, lifeless voice.

'**Treguna, mekoides, trecorum satis dee... treguna, mekoides, trecorum satis dee... treguna, mekoides, trecorum satis dee...**'

Luigi's eyes fell onto the rug they walked across. He hoped he could pull it out from under the sentient armour, just like how he did back in the Treacherous Mansion. One problem - the rug extended all the way under both doors, leaving said method that much harder to pull off.

'It's okay sweetie!' Daisy announced. 'I can handle this!'

She leapt forward and slammed her fist into the chest of the metal being, like a movie star striking the bad guy.

***bonk***

'... ow.'

To say the least, her punch did nothing. It was solid metal; what was she expecting? Had she not been wearing the metallic gloves, she would've broken her hand.

The armour, making no sounds over than its repetitive muttering and the usual metal clanking, held its axe into the air and swung it down. It aimed for her neck.

'Oh no you don't!'

Without thinking, she held her hands out and blocked the axe by its very sharp blade. What would usually be a suicidal move, followed up by bleeding hands at best, became a strong defensive manoeuvre.

Polterpup snarled at it, and ripped one of the leg plates clean off its body. Despite it only having one leg now, it stood perfectly. In fact, it continued to use the detached foot no problem.

Luigi looked behind him; the door to the next room stood undisturbed, with not a single paranormal gate or blockage of any kind to be seen.

'Let's-a get outta here!' He yelled to his princess.

Daisy pushed the axe away and backed off. 'Right behind ya!'

They rushed for the door. Daisy reached her hand out for the doorknob.

***CLANK***

'Yah!'

An axe swung down, barely missing her fingers. Unlike the last axe, that had fallen randomly, this one was wielded by a 'living' metal solider with malicious intent.

'**Treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee...**' It muttered, no different than the last.

It stepped in front of the door, slapping its axe into its other hand like a ruler.

'Okay Luigi, any ideas?' Daisy asked.

'Why is it always me?'

'My idea was to _punch_ the thing. You're the smart one out of the three of us.'

He gulped. _If I'm the smartest, then we're all dead._

Before he could berate himself further, he noticed something on the chest of the stationary guard. It had a small round plate in the middle, with an emblem of the hotel's icon on it. Compared to the rest of the suit, the emblem was as flat as could be.

He smiled. 'I got it!'

Daisy sighed in relief, just quietly enough so no one could hear it. 'Don't explain it to me. Just do it!'

Giving her a nod, he fired a Suction Shot at the emblem. It stuck on without a problem. The armour did not response at all, still muttering those incoherent words like its only function was to kill. Luigi pulled on the rope with his Poltergust until it couldn't be pulled further.

Daisy turned around and yelped. She threw her arm up to block an oncoming axe blade.

'No pressure, but we're running out of time here!'

'Thank you for that added pressure.' He muttered.

For a quick moment, he studied the distance between the two living statues. Unfortunately, maths was not his strong suit.

'Get out of the way!' He ordered.

Daisy nodded, and threw the axe up so she could do as he said. Once she was clear from the impact site, he plungered the suit of armour over his head, smashing it not into the floor but instead the other metal being.

Both suits collapsed into a pile of iron, showing no ghostly being having possessed them. But still, the two voices repeated their mysterious incantation, slightly out of sync and creating an echoing effect.

'**Treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee...**'

Polterpup tugged at his pant leg, whimpering in desperation. He stared at the mangled pile with wide eyes and tiny pupils.

'What's that, boy?' Luigi asked. 'You still sense something?'

'Yip yip...'

Now that the man in green thought about it, he definitely still felt something emanating from what remained of the suits. A glove, lying on the floor, twitched and slowly floated over to the end of an arm piece.

'I'm not the idea guy here or anything,' Daisy said, returning to his side. 'But I think we should skedaddle.'

The glove's fingers opened up, and pointed right at them.

Daisy grabbed her male counterpart's wrist. 'Oh yeah, we're leaving!'

And they were out the other door before the armour could return to its 'proper' forms. Daisy slammed the door shut behind him and prayed the beings behind it were not smart enough to open doors.

'What, in the heck, was **that** about?!' She yelled. 'I know you've mentioned something about possessed knights or something, but those things didn't even have ghosts inside them!'

Luigi placed his hand on his heart, and only spoke once it slowed down. 'I don't know. I don't think even the professor would know.'

Our heroes took a moment to breathe, as this room was far more quiet. Windows - however they were there - on the right allowed soft moonlight to fall onto the wooden platform they stood on. The platform became a small set of stairs, which came to another platform before continuing down the other way.

Polterpup sniffed at what he thought was a bloodstain, but turned out to be merely dried tomato sauce.

Another pre-recorded message by Hellen proceeded to greet our heroes.

'_**Well done, intrepid explorers! You have passed the sentient husks of heroic knights, known for attacking without emotion and uttering a seemingly nonsensical message.**_'

Daisy groaned. 'Would've been nice to know that was coming _beforehand_, but alright.'

'_**You are one step closer to completing our deadly tour. Keep on your toes, because you never know what could happen next!**_'

The message ended there. The princess looked at the speaker with her mouth agape.

'That's it?! Not even going to tell us what horrific trap you have laid out for us next? Good lord, I'd rather deal with that stupid cat another ten times first!'

'I think this tour is supposed to _kill_ us.' Luigi added.

'Ya _think_?'

Alas, they had no choice but to move on, lest they return to _that_ room. Luckily, the walk down to the next door had no dangers, beyond the crows that flew away anyway.

'I hate this.' Daisy said as she reached for the door. 'I really hate this. I love a good ghost tour, but I like ghost tours where my life isn't literally in danger.'

'Well, I, um...'

Luigi always felt the need to be more optimistic than her, despite being the pessimistic one.

'Yeah, I hate this too.' He admitted.

'Oh, I love it when we can agree.'

She opened the door up to the next room, and thus the next 'challenge.' It looked similar to the last 'challenge room', albeit without any suits of armour so already our heroes liked this one more.

Three barrels big enough for all three heroes to fit into at once lay on their side against the wall, their green lids each adorned with a picture MacFrights' face pointing at them. The stone floor got divided in two by a strip of metal going straight from the left side of the room all the way to the right. Above them was a platform, holding smaller barrels in big stacks. More barrels stood in the corners of the room, filled with tomatoes that were only slightly rotten.

On the other side of the metal strip was the next door.

'Prediction time!' Daisy said. 'I predict that metal plate thing is going to grow spikes when we approach it.'

'In that case, I say it'll cause the walls to close in when we step on it.'

'Arf arf arf.' Which roughly translated to 'the room will fill with poison gas'.

The trio approached the metal plate slowly, watching for any sort of discrepancy. Luigi's eyes darted to something that turned out to just be dust particles sparkling in his torchlight.

They stopped dead, Luigi jumping back with a yelp. Rows of skinny spikes taller than Polterpup sprung from the metal plate with a _ssshing!_ sound. Polterpup sniffed the red stuff on the tips; half of it was tomato sauce, the other half blood.

'Called it!' Daisy said, carefully tapping the tip of one of the spikes.

'Dang it...' Luigi muttered. 'What now?'

Daisy took a closer look at the spikes. They were certainly sharp enough to impale her if she just fell on them. At the same time, they had little gaps in between them, albeit very tiny ones. She figured her legs could just barely fit through them.

No way her partner was going to make it past though.

She turned to Luigi with a sigh. 'Go back to the elevator. I'll do the rest of 'ye gauntlet' myself.'

'What? No!' He cried. 'I can't let you do that! We're supposed to be a team. And... and what if you get hurt? I won't be around to help you. A-And anyway, I'm not sure you'll be able to walk through those spikes without getting hurt. They're really sharp.'

He looked at her with such effective puppy dog eyes that not even Polterpup would be able to beat them. It was moments like this that _almost_ made Daisy hate how much she loved him. Anyone else giving her that attitude would immediately be slapped, but his genuine concern drilled into her core.

She sighed. 'Alright. You have any better ideas?'

Her eyes fell upon a black ball hanging by a rope in the back corner of the room. The rope travelled across the ceiling, attaching the ball to the spike trap.

'Ooh, I got something!' She said. 'If we pulled on that, it might just lower the spikes. But how are we supposed to - DAH!'

She jumped as she turned back to Luigi. A monochrome green guy stood right next to her, staring with his soulless eyes. Her heart relaxed once she realised it was just Gooigi.

'Oh sweet Grambi... can ya warn me when you do that next time?'

'_Sorry_.' Despite the distortion in his voice, Daisy could still hear the remorse.

Just as Luigi had expected, Gooigi passed through the spikes without a problem, aside from walking a little slower. He reached the other side like the spikes weren't even there.

'And _that's_ why you're the idea guy.' Daisy said. 'Not me.'

She did a stellar job hiding her bitterness and frustration upon saying those last two words. Gooigi, seemingly paying no attention to her compliment but actually enjoying it, walked over to the hanging ball and got it into the Poltergust.

He walked backwards, dragging the ball along with him. Once it was dragged as far as it could go, the spikes slid down back into floor.

Daisy gave him a thumbs-up. 'Good job!'

Luigi transferred his consciousness back to his regular body, a sensation that felt so natural now, and Gooigi still held onto the ball.

'_**Congratulations, explorers!**_' Hellen's pre-recorded voice returned. '**_You have bypassed the dreaded spike trap!_**'

It ended there, being oddly short. Our heroes walked over the now-harmless spike trap and towards the door. When Daisy tried to open it though, they found one tiny, insignificant problem.

The door was locked.

Hellen's voice continued. '_**Oh, did I fail to mention that the door is locked? Sorry. You'll have to find a key first. Oh, and there will be ghosts throwing tomatoes at you too. Have fun!**_'

Right on cue, Oozer ghosts popped their skinny little heads out of the smaller barrels, armed with an endless supply of the red produce.

Luigi knelt down to his ghostly dog. 'You're good at finding keys, boy. Go find it!'

Polterpup gave him a salute, and ran off to do as he was ordered. Given the lack of any visible shiny objects, he figured his best bet was the giant barrels in the corner.

'Good boy!' Luigi said. 'Good - ah!'

He got interrupted by a tomato striking him square in the face. It didn't hurt too much, but bits of it fell into his mouth and made him gag from the taste.

'Hey!' Daisy yelled.

She charged back over to the other side of the room, where the tomato had come from. Following the path to a barrel, she gave the wooden vessel a kick.

'I know it was you buddy!' She said, glaring down into it. 'Come fight me like a real ghost!'

No response.

'So that's how it's going to be, huh? I can work with this!'

She lifted the barrel into the air with the lights on her gloves glowing strong, and slammed it into the floor. It broke apart into a mess of splinters and tomato sauce, leaving a very dizzy Oozer in the middle of it.

Not willing to leave it at that, she picked him up by the tail and cracked his body like a whip. If he had a spine, it would've snapped.

Polterpup ducked into the barrel on the left undetected. Unfortunately, all that was in that one was a small colony of mice, mice now squeaking in fear from the big scary dog.

Luigi got done wiping the tomato splatter off his face, only to receive another one thrown directly at the back of his neck. Unable to make any sound other than a low growl, he turned around to the Oozer sticking her head out of the barrel behind him.

He picked up his Strobulb and got ready to charge.

'Hang on, sweetie!' Daisy said. 'I got this!'

She spun the Oozer in her hand around like he was a lasso, taking a bit too much delight in doing so, and - like she was competing for the Hammer Throw gold medal - she chucked her Oozer directly at the other.

Their faces crashed into each other and they fell flat to the ground, barely conscious.

Luigi let the Strobulb go off without him noticing. _She's so much better at busting ghosts than me. And I thought I was the experienced one. If a newbie is that good, then I must be garbage..._

'Uh, Luigi, your Poltergust!'

'Oh! R-Right.'

While his owner got to slamming the Oozers into nothing, Polterpup ducked into the next barrel. His tail wagged when he saw the key lying up for grabs. He grabbed it with his mouth and jumped out to meet up with his owner once again.

Luigi had just got done eliminating the ghosts when Polterpup dropped the key at his feet. The sight of the shiny object brought a smile to the plumber's face.

'Good job, boy!'

Daisy returned to her boys while Luigi used the key. In that whole mess, Gooigi had not let go of the ball once, leaving the spikes covered. As Luigi opened the door, the speakers spoke to them once again.

'_**See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, the question is, what horrors await you around the corner? You'll have to wait and see! But I'm sure that it'll be something ghastly!**_'

Though Luigi knew it wasn't what she meant, he couldn't help but think of a Gastly. He didn't use Ghost-types very often, with the delightful exception of Mimikyu.

He stuck his head through the door, and wrinkled his nose as the musty smell from the basement came back to him. Actually, the basement's air was fresher than this. At least that air didn't carry the heavy scent of suffering and decay.

'_Blegh_...' He muttered, getting his whole body out the door.

Our heroes stepped onto some wooden floorboards, the reason for which becoming clear the moment they looked around.

They were on a small bridge, one that led to a solid wall covered up by a MacFrights banner. Upon realising this, Luigi found that the floorboards beneath his feet seemed to creak way louder all of a sudden. Candles halfway through burning gave the room an orange glow that did little to mask the feeling of despair. A couple of round metal cages hung from the ceiling.

Polterpup focused on a wooden elevator shaft that led to the ground level. Chains travelled down, and connected it to a wooden fan attached to the wall.

Daisy leaned over the edge. The drop down led to an entirely different storey, one filled with chains.

The speakers spoke again. '_**You have arrived into the brigs. Here, we keep prisoners chained to the walls until they cannot fight anymore. Will you be among those chained-up, or will you succeed past this harrowing room? Goeth forth, thou travellers!**_'

The princess had no words for the constant patronising. She attempted to judge the distance between her and the floor. Deciding that she had no time to do that, she lifted her leg over the railing.

Luigi, who had been looking at the wooden fan, turned around to see her borderline suicidal act.

'Ah! D-Daisy!'

He grabbed her by the arm and reeled her in. Only afterwards did he think about how that act may have offended her.

'S-Sorry!' He yelled out his go-to word. 'I-I just...'

'Why do you apologise for everything?' Daisy asked.

She meant it as a genuine question, but she failed to realise that an annoyed tone seeped into her words. A tone that Luigi did not fail to hear. _She doesn't like me apologising? Then, what am I supposed to do?_

'Seriously, every time you do something even remotely wrong, the first thing you do is apologise. Even if you've done nothing wrong at all! Why is that?'

His eyes averted her, glancing at literally anything else: the fans, the candles, the cages, anything. Should he explain why? He hardly knew the reasons himself.

'Um, you okay?'

Now he felt the pressure to answer. How could he? All he wanted was for something, even a ghost encounter, to interrupt this conversation.

'Arf arf!'

That would do. The humans turned to Polterpup, who was now floating next to the wooden fan looking pretty proud of himself.

Luigi internally sighed in relief. 'What did ya find, boy?'

Polterpup grabbed one of the fan's blade, and spun it around. It pulled on the chain in the shaft, bringing the elevator cage up until it reached the top. The bar in the way rose up, allowing entrance.

Daisy reached over and gave him a rub behind his non-existent ears. 'Who's a clever boy? You are! Yes you are!'

Luigi chuckled; though her 'fragile' moments were rare, they were no less precious.

The princess stepped into the cage at once, but the plumber hesitated. The floor did not seem especially stable. Regardless, it held up even once Polterpup spun the fan the other way to lower them to the floor.

When Luigi stepped out onto the dirt floor, he found that the smell of decay only got worse at the bottom. How Daisy could handle it was a mystery to him. Many chains hung from the walls, yet there was a surprising absence of any bodies or skeletons. He figured they must've been cleaned up afterwards.

'Uh, so what now?' Daisy asked.

Luigi looked around, and gasped. Seemingly nowhere was there a door to enter.

'Oh no...'

His heart rate increased, like it typically did whenever he felt trapped.

'I have a solution.' Daisy said. 'Insult my favourite band until I get angry enough to break down the walls.'

He shook his head. 'Th-There's gotta be a better way than that.'

'_What_, exactly?'

He wished he had an answer, but at the moment it seemed like they were trapped, forced to eventually starve and join the undead. His breathing rate sped up to match his heartbeat. The world began to lose its focus around him.

'Arf arf!'

His heart relaxed. Once again, Polterpup arrived to get him out of a stressful situation. He floated down from the bridge above, and settled on the floor next to the wall, pointing to a seemingly inconspicuous spot.

No one noticed the elevator going back up.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Hate to break this to you Polterpup, but we're not ghosts. We can't just go through walls like you can.'

Polterpup whined at her.

Luigi glanced the spot up and down. 'I don't think that's what he's trying to tell us.'

'Then what?'

He pulled out his flashlight, and set it to Dark-Light mode. The rainbow light covered the wall, revealing the translucent shape of a solid door.

'Oh!' Daisy said. 'Of course!'

As Luigi kept the Dark-Light on the reforming door, waiting for the Spirit Balls to emerge, Daisy's attention was caught by the sound of the elevator moving. The fan attached to it broke off its axis like someone ripped it off.

'Uh, Luigi?'

He stopped using the light and turned to her. 'What?'

The elevator cage crashed into the ground, shattering its own floor. Well, there was no going back now. Luigi flinched, and his terror only got worse when he saw the occupants who sent it crashing down.

'Pound mean man!'

'Hattie smash green man!'

'Harry make scary princess pay!'

Hammers. Mini-Hammers no bigger than the Mini-Goobs from the shops at that. All fifteen or so of them spilled out the elevator like water, each riling up their fists for a battle and yelling their own little battlecry.

One floated much higher than the others, not getting his hands ready for battle but instead keeping watch.

Daisy merely scoffed. 'We don't really need a little distraction right now.'

Luigi stared at the Mini-Hammers, but not out of fear. They reminded him of the tiny Goobs he had to capture in the clothing shop, and they sounded no older. One particularly small one sounded like she was _two_.

Were they the ghosts of previously-living children? He didn't want to think about that for a moment longer. It didn't matter. Children were children.

The apparent two-year-old floated over to Polterpup, and reached out to pat him. He responded by barking furiously in her face. She squealed in fear as she retreated.

'D-Daisy?' Luigi squeaked out.

'Yeah?'

'C-Can _you_ take them out? P-Please?'

Any question she wanted to ask got answered by the misery in his eyes. She nodded, and got to demolishing. She swiped her hand through three of them, and all three vanished into red particles as easily as that.

She chuckled. 'Yeah, I don't think this will be hard.'

The yelps the Mini-Hammers made as they disappeared convinced Luigi that he couldn't watch. He turned away, listening to the child ghosts get defeated one by one, indicated by their screams. He quickly lost count.

Even though he couldn't bare to look, he knew Daisy was plowing through them. How could she attack them without any hesitation?

The sounds of them getting defeated ceased. He still didn't want to look, just in case it wasn't actually over yet.

'Hey, you! Up there!' Daisy yelled, presumably to the one just watching. 'Get down here and... hey don't fly away!' She groaned. 'That works too. Alright sweetie, they're gone now.'

He finally dared to look, and found the room totally empty. Trying his hardest to put that behind him, he got to Dark-Lighting the invisible door again.

'How can you do that?' He asked. 'They're... they're children. What if they're kids who died?'

Daisy watched the silhouette of the door fully form, and five Spirit Balls floated out of it. They scattered around, and in his deep thoughts he ignored them.

'Can you just suck up those balls already?' She asked.

'E-Excuse me?'

'You know what I mean.'

Complying to her request, he succeeded in sucking up the fiery balls. Once they all disappeared into his vacuum, the door reformed for real.

Daisy reached for the door handle. 'Good. Now we can-'

'How?' Luigi asked.

It took Daisy a couple seconds to understand what he was asking. When she did, she sighed.

'Simple. I just don't think about it.'

As she opened the door, he sat there to think about her answer. How could she simply _not_ think about it? He could never not think about something. Once a thought implanted itself, it was there to stay.

Daisy stepped through the door, unaware of the bucket balancing above her.

'GAH!'

She looked back at Luigi, with the most 'done with this' face imaginable. Water dripped from her hair and down her clothes. He tried his best to hide his laughter, but ultimately failed. Polterpup didn't even try to hide it.

'What happened?' Luigi asked between giggles.

She wiped some of the water off her face. 'Cos that's what I want! Stupid bucket pranks in the middle of a life-threatening tour. That's exactly what I want!'

'I'd rather the bucket than the spikes.'

'True, true. Never mind the bucket. Get out here!'

Luigi did just that and arrived in a room quite a bit different than the last, though the decaying smell was no different. This room was one of the biggest so far, and was divided in half by metal bars spanning the entire floor from one end to the other. Judging by the prison beds and chains, that room's purpose was clear.

The floor returned to being made of stone, much like the rooms above. Other than the bars and the beds, hardly anything stood in this area, making for a frighteningly bare room. Luigi could already see the ghosts ambushing them.

'Oh hey.' Daisy said. 'The door's right there! How much do you wanna bet it's locked?'

She ran over before he could even answer. Unsurprisingly, the door was locked.

'Great.' She muttered. 'Where's the key? On the moon?'

Luigi only had to glance around for a second to see the key behind the bars, hanging by one of the chains above a pool of water.

'There it is.' He stated simply.

Daisy walked up to the bars. Yeah, no way in heck she was getting through those. There was another ball-on-rope near the exit door though. Maybe if Gooigi pulled on that they could-

'Go get the key, boy!'

'Yip yip!'

She huffed. That worked too. Once again, an idea of hers quickly got usurped by her male counterpart.

Polterpup grabbed onto the key, and pulled on it. It didn't unhook. He whimpered, and pulled again. Still nothing.

'Arf...' This bark clearly meant 'help'.

Luigi stuck his head through the bars as far as it would go, which wasn't very far. He squinted, unable to see what prevented the key from unhooking.

Daisy approached him. 'How about you use Gooigi?'

He shook his head. 'The key's above water. That won't work.'

'I mean for _that_.'

She pointed at the ball hanging from the wall.

'Why does Gooigi have to do it?'

'No way I'm leaving your side in a place as dangerous as this.'

His heart warmed. How he managed to befriend such a loyal person was beyond him. He deployed Gooigi, and with his 'Poltergoo' grabbed onto the ball and pulled it back. He had to pull it a fair distance, but after about a metre or two a gate in the bars lowered into the floor.

Switching back to his real body, Luigi smiled at his princess. 'Good idea, Daisy!'

Daisy let that sink in. It had to be the first time in years someone said that to her. It made a little flame inside her grow.

She smirked. 'Finally, someone gets it. Now let's help Polterpup get that key.'

The humans walked through the gate and into the water. It dawned on Luigi just how murky it was, and it smelled like rotting bodies. It made him back away, lest he threw up. Daisy cared not for the dirty water, and knelt in it to get a closer look at the key.

She yanked it from the chain, and nearly tumbled backwards as it flew off like it wasn't stuck at all. She glanced at it, and blinked at the chain.

'Um, Polterpup, are you sure this was stuck?' She asked.

The ghost dog nodded, just as perplexed as she was.

'Maybe the ghosts wanted to lure us in here.' Luigi suggested. 'M-Maybe. But I don't know why-'

'Ha HA!'

Everyone's attention fell onto a Goob, who had appeared from thin air with a bucket in his hands. He floated over to the stationary Gooigi, snickering to himself. He gave a cheeky smirk to our heroes, as that extra little salt in the wound while he poured the bucket of water over the gooey man.

'AHHH!'

'HEY!'

Gooigi dissolved into a green puddle in moments, flying back into the Poltergust. The rope retracted into the wall, and with it the gate rose back up.

Trapping the mortals inside.

'Have fun getting out now!' The Goob yelled, followed by some good evil laughter.

Daisy ran to the wall, grasping the bars. She glared at the ghost, the lights on her gloves glowing intensely.

'You think you're so brave!' She yelled. 'Hiding away from us like that!'

'Daisy, it's okay.' Luigi said, surprisingly optimistic for him. 'I can just use Gooigi again. That's fine.'

No sooner than he finish that sentence did the walls at the ends of the room grow spikes.

'Oh yeah!' Daisy said. 'That looks fine to me! And if anyone here says that '_at least the walls aren't closing in_', I will have to hurt you.'

Luigi gulped. 'Uh, I-I think you've done that for us already.'

Right on the cue, the walls jolted forward at least a metre with a horrid loud THUD, sparks flying off the metal arms pushing them forward. Before Luigi could even think 'please stay there', they jolted forward another metre.

Daisy grabbed the bars tighter than before, and tried her absolute hardest to rip them off from the wall. She succeeded in bending them, but not much else.

***THUD***

The walls got even closer.

Luigi's head darted between the two walls, his heart getting closer to giving up with each look. His claustrophobia came down on him, hard, and only got worse with every second.

For the first time in a while, Ms Gravely's pre-recorded voice spoke to them.

'_**Sorry my intrepid explorers, but few people make it this far. This is the dungeon where all the worst convicts were kept. No need to worry about convicts once they're squished, is there? You must act fast if you are escape this trap!**_'

That was what did it. Luigi's brain hit its limit and snapped. He had only thing that he was capable of doing now.

'AAAHHHHHHHH!'

**Author Notes - ****I could've done it the speedrunner way and jumped straight to the boss, but that's no fun to read! Or write!**

**King 'William' MacFrights derives his first name from William Shakespeare. MacFrights in general takes inspiration from **_**MacBeth**_**. And yes, I am intentionally butchering 'Ye Olde English' when he speaks. I'm trying to make him seem like the biggest fraud in the world.**

**The suits of armour repeating '**_**treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee**_' **when 'alive' is indeed a reference to Disney's **_**Bedknobs and Broomsticks**_**. It seemed appropriate.**

**As for these ending flashbacks, I won't say I _regret_ putting them in, but I feel like I could've done something better with them. And since I've dedicated myself, there's no going back. But from now on, they will be quite a bit shorter and will mostly focus on the _ghosts_ instead of Luigi.**

* * *

'_Can you believe it, Charles? We're the first ones to be invited to this place! Isn't that cool?'_

'_Yes, it is. Now please stop bringing it up. I get it.'_

_Charles and Sam, two humans hailing from the Mushroom Kingdom, were on their way to a recently-opened hotel called 'The Last Resort', so-called because you'd never want to go to any other hotel again._

_It seemed like a pretty good second honeymoon idea._

_Sam was the one driving, doing so poorly out of her excitement. 'I hope it's a nice place. What about you? We've only been driving there for hours.'_

'_I'd hope so too. The kid's getting restless.'_

_He looked in the back seat of his car to see their eight-year-old son Lou punching the windows. Granted, it was in a rather playful manner, but still._

'_Are we there yet?' Lou asked._

'_Wait, _are _we there yet?' Sam echoed._

'_You're the one driving.' Charles stated._

'_Oh yeah.' A pause. 'I think the answer's no.'_

_When they finally did arrive, they had a fantastic time! Hellen Gravely was such a welcoming host, and the attractions were amazing._

_Sam went straight to checking out the pyramid replica, kept in check by the beautiful Serpci. Charles opted to stop by the seafood restaurant. Meanwhile, Lou wondered off by himself to try out the 'Medieval Gauntlet'._

_They never returned. Everyone forgot about them the day they disappeared._

_Not too long afterwards, twins Owen and Olivia hailing from Pi'illo Island received invitations to the luxury hotel. Deciding they had nothing better to do, they immediately left to check it out, along with their 'pwetty key' obsessed niece._


	12. Thy Battle In Ye Coliseum

**Author Notes - I was stuck on the fight with MacFrights WAAAY longer than I care to admit. Prepare to hear me say that a lot. It did take me 12 hours to beat the game the first time round. I don't know if that's good or not.**

**BUT, I _did_ manage to solve not just the castle's death trap but those in the Tomb Suites** **without dying once. That's gotta account for something, right? ****But I _did_ die to Chef Soulfflé, so I guess it evens out... question mark?**

**Forget to mention this last chapter, but I am beginning to post bits of concept art of the Boss Ghosts on my DeviantArt account. I'm currently up to Kruller, by the way, but if my drawings outspeed my writing I won't post the art until the Boss Ghost is defeated.**

**Thanks to ChrisGamer3095, The Worst Writer21 (surely you're not _that_ bad), DARKPHANTOM13 and Kelstar159 for the favourites/follows (combining them saves words!)**

**CHAPTER TWELVE - THY BATTLE IN YE COLISEUM**

***SLAP***

Luigi stopped screaming immediately.

'GET IT TOGETHER, LUIGI! If you give up now, we're both going to **die!**'

Everything else came to a standstill. He rubbed his cheek, barely even flinching when the pain intensified. No emotion could come through as the realisation sunk in.

She just slapped him. Hard. He couldn't even ask her why.

'Don't look at me like that!' She yelled. 'I can't do jack squat. Use Gooigi to get the gate open before we're turned into paste!'

The slap did one good thing though: whether it was the pain or merely the action itself, Luigi forgot how broken he was two seconds ago.

***THUD***

The walls jerked forward once more. Some of their spikes sparkled under the flashlight. The rest were covered in too much dry blood to be able to do so.

Polterpup yanked the rope with his mouth, and dragged his paws across the dirt as he tried to pull the ball any further. The rusted mechanics inside the walls needed more force than he was capable of applying.

Luigi stepped up to the gate, and deployed Gooigi. Squeezing his gelatine body through the bars, he already felt relief wash over him.

'Open the gate! NOW!'

He couldn't blame her for yelling.

***THUD***

'HURRY!'

With half his time already gone, Gooigi ran over to the rope and got it into his Poltergust. He stepped back, taking great care not to break his fragile gooey body.

Daisy pulled on a couple of the bars, her rage allowing her to bend them quite a bit. But they stopped bending before she could quite fit her body through them.

'Come on...' She said through gritted teeth. 'COME ON!'

The Goob from before materialised behind Gooigi, holding another bucket of water. He seemed to take far too much delight in what he was about to do.

'GET AWAY FROM HIM!' Daisy shouted.

He just stuck his tongue out at her. 'And what are you gonna do about it? Oh, that's right. Nothing!'

Daisy shouted incoherent angrish as she shook the bars. 'Gah, I can't do ANYTHING! WHY AM I SO _USELESS_?!'

***THUD***

Had Gooigi been in his proper body, he would've stopped pulling on the rope the moment Daisy called herself useless. The stoic body he occupied prevented him from doing anything but dragging the ball back, though his mind thought of nothing but what she said.

She thought she was useless? Why? If anything, _he_ was the useless one. She could've controlled Gooigi herself if given the opportunity.

He hadn't noticed the Goob floating above him, ready to dissolve him into a green puddle once again.

'ARF ARF!'

Polterpup leapt from the floor and headbutted the bucket out of his hands. It spilled onto the floor, harmlessly flowing away from its intended target.

'Bad dog!' The Goob yelled, pointing right in his face. 'Bad dog! I got orders by our so-called king to help him, and you're getting in the way of-!'

_*CHOMP*_

'OW!'

Polterpup, done with the Goob's nonsense, clamped his jaws down hard on the blue ghost's hand. The Goob held his hand close, clearly trying not to cry. The fear in his empty eyes only increased when he got a good look at Polterpup's death stare, taken straight from his owner himself.

'Okay, okay!' The Goob cried. 'I get it!'

Not wanting to deal with this rabid beast any longer, he retreated through the floor. The ghost pup puffed out through his nose, as if saying 'serves you right'.

Daisy looked up, and saw the gate move down by an inch or two. She smiled the widest she had since they went inside this deadly castle.

'You're doing it Luigi! Keep going!'

***THUD***

She jumped. The walls were that close already? The previously-wide and open room was now an eighth of that size, and those spikes got shockingly close to Luigi's unconscious body.

Her breathing turned heavy and fast, in an attempt to stop herself from crying. She could hear the clanking sound that preceded the walls moving forward. The gate had only moved down a few inches, and still had plenty to go.

In desperation, she held her arms straight out to the side, her eyes shut tight. The walls slammed into her hands...

And stopped.

She opened her eyes, and saw the walls being kept perfectly in place. She felt an extra push, no doubt the mechanics trying to push it forward some more, but otherwise held them dead in their tracks. Sweat poured down her face, and she struggled to put on a grin.

'E. Gadd... when we meet again... remind me... to thank you.'

Gooigi pulled the rope as far as it would go, until it went straight. The gate had sunk back into the floor completely.

'Ya did it... Luigi! Now let's... get outta here...!'

He had not looked at her since grabbing the rope, and so had no idea why her voice sounded so retrained. He simply transferred back into his regular body, and thankfully Gooigi kept hold of the rope.

Luigi did not delay, and rushed out the open gate. After a few seconds of letting it sink it, he shot his fists into the air triumphantly.

'Yeah! We did it! Daisy, we-' He gasped. 'Daisy!'

All that happiness disappeared into proverbial flames when he saw his princess strained between the determined walls.

'Don't... panic... sweetie!' Daisy insisted. 'I... got this!'

She took one step forward, making sure to keep her hands against the walls. Thank Grambi the spikes were fairly far apart. Her hands left a slight yet noticeable dent in the stone.

Luigi stepped forward and reached out to her, but hesitated. Did she need help? Did she _want_ help? What could he even do?

Daisy, maintaining her look of confidence despite the sweat falling from her face, stepped all the way to the end of the walls. Luigi didn't want to watch, but he couldn't look away.

Just one look at him was enough to give her confidence. Giving her quick prayers to Grambi, she leapt out.

'Waaaah!'

***THUD***

And landed on her hands and knees as the walls smashed together behind her. Luigi nearly fainted from how much relief smacked into him. She looked at the death trap behind her, and grinned.

'Thought you could take me out that easily?' She said. 'That's the funniest joke I've heard all night!'

She stood up, and without thinking or giving _her_ time to think Luigi jumped into an embrace. He hugged her so tight that it began to hurt her, but she said nothing.

'We made it, Daisy!' He cried. 'Y-You made it!'

She gave him a soft pat on the back. 'What? You expected anything less?'

'I thought I was going to lose you!'

'Don't worry. I wouldn't make you go through something like that.'

Luigi continued to cuddle up to her like she was a teddy bear, until a horrible smell hit his nose. He hadn't realised until now, but her sweat combined with the murky water that soaked her pants did not make a good combination. He didn't want to, but he had to back away slowly.

Polterpup jumped in instead, standing on his hindlegs and refusing to leave until he got his own cuddles.

'Okay Polterpup, you get yours too.'

She stroked his head, and he yipped delightfully. Considering the trauma the lot of them went through, they _really_ needed a cute moment like this.

'I'm tellin' ya now, Luigi. If we could survive that, we can survive anything this hotel throws at-'

She cringed. Only now she noticed the red hand mark on Luigi's cheek. Did she really hit him _that_ hard? And there was the feeling of guilt. She hated that feeling.

'Ooh...' She murmured. 'Ow...'

'What?' He asked.

'Oh, I am so sorry for slapping you. I just... I just...'

She stopped herself there. What could she possibly say to excuse that bright red mark she left on his face?

Despite the pain it had caused him, Luigi smiled. 'It's okay. Yeah, it hurt, but-'

'Gonna have to stop you right there, sweetie. There is no 'but' after 'yeah it hurt'.'

'N-No. Really! I understand. It, uh, it was kinda scary, us nearly dying. I needed that.'

She sighed in relief. 'Okay, good. But I don't wanna hear you defending me if this happens again. Understood?'

He nodded. 'Yeah. I get it.'

* * *

'OW DARE THOU FAILETH THY KING?!' MacFrights shouted at the Goob from the dungeon.

The Goob returned to his king to admit that his trap didn't go as planned. Unlike those confronting Hellen, who were scared out of their wits, those 'confronting' MacFrights just wanted the boring conversation over with.

'Ya know, if you really want him dead, you could just do it now yourself.' He said.

MacFrights laughed, mostly _at_ him. 'And ruineth ye fun of ye challenge? Ye mortals must passeth ye olde tests before thou geteth to battleth me. I would 'ast thou throwneth into me dungeon for suggestingeth such a silly idea!'

The Goob blinked at him. 'You mean the dungeon I was literally just in?'

Apparently, that slightly snarky comment was MacFright's breaking point. He picked up a scrunched up ball of paper from the floor of his throne, and chuckled it at his 'servant'. The Goob gave him a 'you moron' look as the ball bounced harmlessly off his face.

'Guards!' MacFrights yelled. 'Taketh yon traitor awayeth to ye dungeon! Thou must suffer for thy insolence!'

No guards came to his order. After all, they would have to actually exist in order to do that. MacFrights, as always, didn't notice this.

The Goob sighed, and hung up his shoulders like the non-existent guards actually did grab him. He turned himself around and drifted away.

'Oh no, don't touch me.' He said like he couldn't give less of a poison mushroom. 'I can't go back there. It's too scary. Ahhh.'

Despite how intentionally-unconvincing his performance was, the 'king' fell for it hook line and sinker.

'If I witnesseth more anarchic be'aviour from thou servant again, I will 'ast thou EXECUTEDETH!'

Yeah, that threat might actually mean something if he wasn't, ya know, talking to a _ghost_.

* * *

'_**I doubt that anyone's gotten past that room, but what the heck? I really like recording these. Ahem... you have successfully gotten past the horrid dungeon and its sandwiching walls! Very few people continue to this point of the tour. You are so close!**_'

If Daisy had to hear that condescending pre-recorded voice one more time, she would throw a brick at the speaker.

The door led to a rather abrupt change in scenery. Compared to the tight yet empty feel of the dungeon, this room was wide and open. Our heroes stood on a stone platform that connected to another by a wooden bridge.

Luigi couldn't take his eyes off the giant bronze sculpture of MacFrights's face in the wall. Its 'eyes' stared directly at him, refusing to focus on anything else no matter how much he moved.

Why a bridge? Simple. The entire lower half of the room was a large pit, filled with spikes and spears. A treasure chest lay among the sharp weapons, but neither mortal cared to loot it.

Daisy stayed a couple feet away from the platform's edge - there were no walls or guard rails of any kind - and looked over the entire pit. She really had to wonder what was with MacFrights and his obsession with spikes.

Luigi gulped. 'H-How many bodies?'

'None.' She answered. 'Absolutely none.'

'... What? How?'

He didn't dare look over the edge himself, but from what he could see of the pit she was correct. Despite all the spears and spikes, not a single body or even drop of blood could be seen. Not even Polterpup, who was waltzing through the spike field without a scratch, could pick up any decaying scents.

'If I had to guess,' Daisy said. 'We've either reached the easiest room of this tour, or...' She paused. 'No one else has ever made it this far. We should be proud.'

Pride was not the emotion Luigi felt. Agonising fear seemed more appropriate. Daisy backed away from the edge, and looked at the bridge instead. It looked far more realistic than the plastic one for the 'moat', but didn't seem the most stable in the world.

'Well, nowhere to go but forward.' She said.

She took a single step forward onto the wooden bridge, testing to see how much it bent underneath her foot. Fortunately, the answer was 'not much', though it did creak quite a bit.

'Polterpup?'

The spectral mutt exploring the spikes looked up at the mention of his name.

'Cover for me.' The princess said. 'This might be risky.'

'B-Be careful!' Luigi said, standing right behind her.

'I don't plan on doing anything else at the moment.'

The lack of guard rails on this creaky bridge only served to make all three parties infinitely more nervous. Daisy took a few more steps, and her heart stopped when the boards below her moved down.

They only moved down an inch, but turned out to be a pressure plate.

'Huh? ... WHOA!'

'AHHH!'

A pressure plate that activated three giant swinging axes no less. The implements of death swung in front of them, in such a way that they missed the bridge by only an inch. They passed over the creaky wood one at a time, one second after the other.

'How badly do they want to kill people?!' Luigi cried.

Daisy watched the swinging weapons intently, nothing but her eyes moving. Noting how the axes swayed, she saw how much time they had before getting sliced.

She chuckled. 'Wow. They _really_ didn't expect anyone to make it this far.'

Waiting just a couple more seconds to be sure, she dashed across the bridge without a sweat, much to the strain of Luigi's heart. She reached the other stone platform without the axes even getting close.

It was quite the miracle that Luigi didn't faint.

'Why...?' He stammered. 'Why did you...?!'

'I wasn't even running at full speed. Just sprint and go!'

Polterpup popped out of the floor behind her, barking and panting. He bowed down, inviting his owner for play. Luigi, with a gulp, stepped forward. His foot sank slightly in the rotting wood, assaulting his ears with an intimidating creak.

'Um, can you give me a motivation?' He requested.

'A motiv-?' She sighed. 'Is Mario enough of a motivation?'

'Yeah! Keep talking about him.'

She pondered for a moment. 'Oh Luigi, your dear brother has been kidnapped by the horrid King Boo!' She said in her most dramatic voice. 'Oh, the poor thing is entrapped inside a painted limbo!'

Polterpup couldn't help chuckling at just how much she was milking it. Regardless, Luigi let every word get to him.

'OH, if only someone could save the Mushroom Kingdom hero. If only there was a courageous man in green armed with a vacuum cleaner who could save him. But instead Mario must wait in agony for someone to-'

'MAAARIIIOOO!'

To say the least, that did it. Luigi charged forward with hardly a care, rushing past the swinging axes like nothing. As expected, they didn't even scrap the Poltergust.

'That's it Luigi! You're doing-'

He didn't stop at crossing the bridge. Instead, he ran past Daisy, up a small flight of stone stairs, and-

***CRASH***

'Ow...'

-ran directly into the wooden door at the top, smacking his face into the wood. He fell backwards onto his Poltergust, swinging his limbs about like a defenceless Koopa on its back.

'Um... help.' He said, whimpering.

Polterpup immediately ran off to help his owner out, while Daisy chuckled at the reminder of why she loved him so much.

'Ya made it.' She stated, going after him. 'Good job.'

'Because you're any better.' Luigi said as Polterpup helped him off the ground. 'Getting hit in the face with a frying pan was a really good idea.'

'Ooh! Touché, my sweetie. Touché.'

Daisy opened the door, and into the next (and hopefully final) room. It returned to the more usual design of a big stony box, with at least five banners of the 'king' himself hanging on the walls. A rail connected the left wall to the right wall, and a minecart filled with tomatoes rested on it by the right wall.

The door opened to a small set of stairs to the right that led up to the rest of the room. With no one else to go, the trio made their way up.

'_**Uh, how more rooms do I have to record for? ... The minecart one. Right. If you have managed to make it to this room, then you are spectacular! Very soon you will-**_'

'Oh, just shut up!'

***SMASH***

And the speaker was completely demolished. What little remained of it on the wall emitted sparks. A hole in the stonework stood at Daisy's feet.

She sighed. 'Sorry. I really had to do that.'

Luigi stepped back a bit. 'I... I thought you were joking.'

Polterpup, not even thinking about the Phantasma-Gloves, stepped back too.

Daisy spotted the next door on the opposite wall, all the way on the left and completely unguarded. Now _that_ was the epitome of 'too easy'. Her eyes glanced around the room, searching for an obvious trap. They landed on three 'figures' - in reality, just armour stands wearing purple cloaks - armed with crossbows.

Normally she'd write them off as harmless stands, but after those sentient suits of armour she wasn't going to take any chances. She took one step forward.

The figures fired out shots, all at once, covering a large chunk of the room with a flurry of wooden arrows. Every second or so they reloaded and fired again.

'Whoa!' Daisy yelled, jumping back.

Luigi gulped. On the bright side, the figures seemed incapable of turning. On the not-so-bright side, the chances of getting through that barrage without taking an arrow to the knee (or worse, the face) seemed very very low.

'Should I risk it?' Daisy asked.

'No. You really shouldn't.'

'That's what I thought. Alright Idea Man, whattaya got?'

The first thing to catch Luigi's attention was the tomato cart resting peacefully. Though its wooden walls had worn and were beginning to grow moss, it looked sturdy. Sturdy enough to withstand wooden arrows, at least.

'Maybe if we pushed that cart along, it would-' He began.

'Way ahead of ya!'

Daisy got behind the produce transportation, and put all her strength into pushing it forward. The difficulty came more from its rusted joints, not so much its weight. The wheels hardly moved, but the raw strength of the orange-clad princess overpowered the rust.

Well, the gloves _sorta_ helped.

'Am I there yet?' She asked.

'Uh, a little more. You got one of them. Okay, that's the second one. And... that's it!'

She stopped pushing the cart on his word. The three figures continued to fire their weapons without question, but the arrows broke apart on the wooden panelling the very moment their stone tips struck it.

The sight made Daisy laugh. 'They must've stopped caring after the dungeon.'

'Well, was anyone meant to get _past_ the dungeon?' Luigi asked.

'NNNope.'

As Luigi passed them, he could've sworn the figures repeated the same nonsense words the sentient suits of armour from the first room did. Did those words mean anything, or were they just gibberish? What gave them life? These questions distracted him so much that he didn't notice-

'HALT! Who goes there?'

'Wah!'

That. He didn't notice that, a Goob standing by the door that now had a paranormal gate barring it off. The ghost held up a wooden shield, with MacFrights's face on it, and glared at our heroes with a look of indignation on her face.

An expression that Daisy shared. She crossed her arms and sighed.

'Really?' She said. '_Reeeally_?'

'I, Miss Elizabeth the Eager,' The Goob announced in her best Elizabethan voice. 'Will only be paid if I keep guard of this door!'

'Do you need to do the voice to do that?'

'No I do not! But it makes this tedious job much more enjoyable. I must stick to the title our quote-unquote king has given me!'

Both Daisy and Polterpup gave her the 'you cannot be serious' look. Luigi, meanwhile, cleared his throat and stepped forward.

'We, uh, r-really need to get past you.' He said. 'Could you maybe-?'

'No sir!' Miss Elizabeth yelled. 'I repeat, King MacFrights will only pay me if I do my job!'

'Um, maybe I could pay you?'

'Sorry sir, but you do not look like you possess many assets.'

He blinked. 'I own a mansion.'

'It doesn't matter! I do not allow simple peasants to make their way to our king.'

Luigi, already done with her nonsense, lifted up his Strobulb and didn't even bother with charging it up. It unleashed a weak beam that was regardless strong enough to stun a ghost. Elizabeth must've seen it coming though, and lifted her shield up to block the rays.

'I see what you're doing.' She said. 'You are engaging an attack!'

'If you would let us through, I wouldn't-'

'Now I must summon my fellow knights! Boys, get out here. I need ya help!'

Two more Goobs emerged from the floor, both holding their own shield identical to Miss Elizabeth's, behind our heroes. Luigi jumped, while Daisy cracked her knuckles.

'I am Sir Nicholas the Noble!' The one on the left declared with such vigour.

'And I am Sir Richard the Reserved.' The right Goob said with hardly any energy at all.

Daisy turned back to Miss Elizabeth with a cocked eyebrow. If she had any words to sum up her feelings about this ridiculous situation, she would say them. Alas, no words fitting enough came to her mind.

'And we are the Knights of King MacFrights! Get it? It rhymes. And we will defend our 'king' until the day we-!'

Without a sweat or even a blink, Daisy grabbed her shield away from her, and smashed it on the ground. It broke in half, right down the middle.

'Uh... so what was that about paying me?'

Daisy grabbed Miss Elizabeth by her tail, and bashed her against her own shield until her particles scattered away.

Sir Richard, seeing the destruction of his partner, put his shield down and backed away while holding his arms up.

'I know when to fold them.' He said.

'I do not!' Sir Nicholas declared. 'I fight stubbornly until my second demise. It is what MacFrights pays me to do!'

The more crazy of the two ghosts charged at Luigi, his shield held out in front of him. His courageous charge came to an end when the man in green fired a plunger into his shield.

Sir Nicholas cried out. 'Dah! This was my favourite shield!'

Caring not for his sentiments, Luigi grabbed onto the plunger and yanked the shield out of the Goob's hands. Its wooden shards joined the other broken shield. Polterpup used one of the shards to teeth on.

'I didn't need that shield anyway. I will defend my 'king' with my bare hands!'

Flash. Suck. Slam. Capture. A process that only got more repetitive each time, but always yielded satisfying results. With the last defiant ghost gone, the paranormal gate vanished.

Daisy scoffed. 'You blue guys don't put up much of a fight, do you?'

Sir Richard shrugged. 'I don't think we're supposed to. But Ms Gravely has so many of us, she just figures that she might as well throw us at the wall to see what sticks.'

The tomboyish princess opened up the door, and saw a hallway that turned to the right further down. It looked like a regular old stony hallway, with the exception of the seemingly _hundreds_ of MacFrights banners that covered up every inch of the wall.

'Okay, what is this guy's deal?' She asked. '_Bowser_ has less images of his face in his castles. Combined. Is this all for his bit or is he just _that_ egotistical?'

Sir Richard chuckled. 'Oh, you poor mortals. You honestly think that he's doing a bit.'

Luigi's eyes widened. 'Wait... so h-he actually _is_ a king?'

The Goob laughed again, this time much louder and more heartily. He wiped his eyes and regained his composure.

'I'll give you a hint.' He said. 'It begins with a D, and rhymes with illusional.'

'He's... delusional?' Daisy guessed.

Richard snapped his fingers. 'Bingo! Let me give you this impromptu poem to explain it. Ahem... _He was never a king. That was never a thing. He was an actor in a play. And then he died one day._ Like it?'

Luigi's eyes only grew wider.

'Actually, he died _during_ the play apparently. How? No one really knows. But he was acting as a king, and the guy's been under the belief that he's a genuine king, or at least _was_ one, since his death a few centuries ago. I hear that happens sometimes with actors.'

The mortals and their puppy stared at the storyteller, trying to come up with any way to continue the conversation.

'Wait, you said he wasn't doing a bit!' Daisy said. 'How do you explain that?'

Richard smirked. 'Easy. He needs to know it's a lie for it to be considered a bit.'

'And... and you guys never tried to tell him the truth?' Luigi asked.

The Goob's smile faded. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

'Oh man, have we tried. We used to tell him every day. He never listened. So, we just gave up after a while.'

Daisy huffed. 'Well, if that's the case, then I'll just have to convince him myself.'

And with that, she stormed through the door and down the hallway, muttering something about teaching that 'king' a lesson.

'Daisy, wait!' Luigi cried. 'I...' He turned back to Richard. 'Is... is that all really true?'

'I wouldn't waste effort making up a lie as grand as that.'

'Aw... poor MacFrights. ... Wait for me, Daisy!'

The plumber and his ghostly pet finally caught up to the princess by the time she made it around the corner. The right turn led to a long, straight corridor that, aside from the abundant MacFrights banners had nothing else inside.

The pre-recorded voice spoke for hopefully the last time. And unfortunately, Daisy couldn't see where it was.

'_**I had more of these to make than I thought. No way anyone's made it to the corridor. Eh, I have nothing else to do right now, and it's quite fun recording these! To those who have reached this corridor, you are practically finished! All there is left for you to do is enter the arena and battle King MacFrights himself. Congratulations!**_'

Luigi had expected something, _anything_, to attack them in that empty hallway. And yet, nothing happened. Daisy got to the door at the end with not a single issue. Clearly, no one expected mere mortals to get anywhere near this spot.

'So, as long as that patronising voice wasn't lying to us,' Daisy said. 'We're finally at the end. Just gotta deal with a delusional idiot and we'll be done for real. Just let that victory sink in, sweetie.'

He adjusted the straps on his Poltergust, just to give himself a distraction. 'We're not really done. Are we?'

'What do you mean?'

'Arf?'

More strap adjusting, even though it was as redundant as could be.

'I mean, we haven't even explored half the floors yet. We... we were nearly squished and we still have so far to go.'

'We survived that stupid dungeon trap. That's enough of a victory for me.'

She opened the door and prayed that it truly did lead to the arena. Luigi shielded his eyes from the blinding light that seeped through the door, but he could hear Polterpup's excited barking.

'We made it!' Daisy yelled.

The princess pushed both the doors as far as they would go and ran into the middle of the arena. She laughed to herself, for no other reason but the pride she felt. Somehow, the coliseum looked even more grand from the inside. Luigi and Polterpup followed her swiftly.

Luigi's attention immediately fell to a helmet-less suit of armour, resting in the corner. It appeared to be 'mounted' on a 'horse' made entirely of remains of broken suits. A spear rested in its hand, and its chest had been adorned with a target.

King MacFrights paced around his throne, apparently unaware to the mortals' arrival.

'Hey!' Daisy yelled, cupping her hands over mouth like a megaphone. 'Ye mortals doth arriveth in thy coliseum!'

MacFrights glanced at the heroes for a moment, seemingly ignored them, and then looked at them for real with his mouth agape.

'Thou... I... 'uh?' He stammered. 'Ow art thou mere mortals standingeth in me coliseum? No mortal doth ever passeth me traps! Thou must've cheatedeth!'

Daisy snickered. 'Nope! We got through them all! Including that stupid dungeon trap, by the way.'

Luigi's grip on his flashlight tightened. _Do you always have to antagonise the ghosts?_

The 'king' scowled. 'No! Impossible! There doth be something wrongeth with me traps. I cannot believeth me guards and knights... useless ye lot of them! Useless! I will 'aveth thy 'eads on a platter fer thy insolence!'

Daisy groaned; the guy was no less annoying now than he was at the beginning of this mess.

'I hope you remember our deal.' She said. 'We make it through your castle, and we can challenge you for that shiny gold thing.'

MacFrights bashed his fist on the railing of his platform. 'If that if what thou mortals wanteth, then I will 'oldeth up me end of ye deal. Ye jousting challenge begineth!'

Daisy cracked her knuckles. 'A joust with a runt like you? Yeah, I'm sure I can take it.'

Luigi yelped. 'D-Daisy, you really need to stop-'

The 'king' bellowed. 'So thou thinketh she will be fightingeth just me alone? Even I art awareth of me puny stature. Tis why I 'aveth me backup weapon!'

He flew away from his designated platform, and into the lifeless suit of armour. His small body disappeared within its metallic glory, and the shiny iron's gleam turned orange.

Luigi gulped. 'I-I have a bad feeling about this...'

A whole audience worth of ghosts emerged from the coliseum seats, a grand mix of Goobs, Hammers, and Oozers. Some even had bags of popcorn, and they cheered for their 'king'. Except they weren't real. They were merely cardboard cutouts, moving around on stands while pre-recorded cheering played.

The free arm of the armour twitched, followed by the horse's head rising slowly. The metal equine got to its nonexistent hooves, floating a couple feet off the floor. The armour stood up with it, and raised its star-pointed spear into the air.

Fully mounted, it easily dwarfed both the mortals.

MacFrights stuck his head out of the suit. 'What doth thee mortals thinketh of me armour? Doth thou not trembleth at thy knees of ye sight!'

Luigi certainly did, his knees trembling so much they were close to breaking. Daisy's own knees shook, but only for a moment.

'You're gonna have to try harder than that to scare me!' She yelled.

The plumber buried his face in his hands. 'Why do you have to keep doing this?'

Polterpup gave her an incredulous look; even he had had enough of her constant antagonising.

MacFrights grinned. 'Doth thou thinketh I 'aveth nothing more? Yon match is just gettingeth started. Onward, Guinevere! Fastly!'

The horse buckled around, like he wasn't in total control of it. It galloped off, away from our heroes and instead towards the edge of the arena. It seemed MacFrights wanted to simply run circles around them, as that's what he did.

While Daisy laughed, Luigi shuddered. No way the warrior's plan consisted of just prancing around.

And of course, he was right.

'YAAARRRRH!' MacFrights bellowed out his questionable battle cry.

The 'king' held his spear high into the air, the star at the end glowing bright. He continued to charge around as five small gates, that were seemingly just part of the arena's wall a moment ago, opened up. A small star tip poked out of each wall.

'Keep watch, sweetie!' Daisy said, spreading her legs out.

He glanced at her. What else would he do? The stars revealed themselves to be the tips of arrows as they fired from their gates, one-by-one left to right. All aimed directly at our heroes.

'Oh boy!'

'Ah!'

Daisy jumped to the side, an arrow whizzing past her head. A second came her way, and on instinct she flew her arms up in front of her face. The tip of the arrow struck her metallic gloves and fell to the ground. She glanced down at it and chuckled.

Luigi, seeing two arrows coming his way, pressed both the suck and the blow buttons and launched his Poltergust upwards with a burst of air. The airy shockwave sent the arrows spiralling out of their course, breaking in two when they flopped pathetically onto the ground.

He glanced up, and saw the fifth and final arrow coming straight up him.

'Dah!'

In a panic, he covered his face with his arms and prayed the starry tip wouldn't hurt.

'Yip yip!'

Polterpup, partially due to his natural doggy urges but mostly because of his love for his owner, leapt up and yanked the arrow right out of sky like it was merely a fetch stick. He shook it about, and chomped it to pieces.

Luigi dared to look, and smiled at his pet. 'Good puppy!'

The ghostly dog grinned widely, as all compliments made him do.

Daisy kicked at the remains of the wooden ammo. 'Is this really the best he had?'

King MacFrights laughed from behind them. 'Thou doth thinketh that waseth me best attack? HA HA! Thou hath falleneth for me distraction. GIDDY-UP, GUINEVERE!'

The trio turned around, and before they could even wonder what 'distraction' he was talking about, MacFrights gave his 'horse' a kick to the flank and charged forward. He lowered his lance down, lifting his head out just to make sure he had it angled perfectly.

And he only gave them a second.

'Ah!' Daisy yelped.

The princess, not weighed down by anything, leapt out the spear's way before it even get close. Alas, the heavy Poltergust slowed Luigi down.

He simply couldn't get away in time.

The star tip hooked under the back of his shirt, just above the Poltergust. His legs ran in place before he noticed that he wasn't going anywhere. He tugged himself away from the lance, but it held him in place.

Each unsuccessful pull only made him more and more terrified. Tears came to his eyes as he screamed out.

'MARIOOO! HELP ME!'

Daisy stood in place, watching in shock. Not a single part of her body even twitched.

'RUFF! RRRUFF!' Polterpup barked at the 'king' angrily.

MacFrights returned to hiding in his iron host, and lifted the end of his lance up a bit, just enough so Luigi's feet left the floor. The plumber flailed his limbs in a fruitless attempt to get free.

'Let him go, you fake king!' Daisy demanded, shaking her fist at him and highly doubting he would listen.

The 'king' merely laughed. 'Ye fair maiden tryeth ta stopeth me? Thee really believeth that I would listeneth? Art thy brain small? Watcheth this!'

With no effort at all, MacFrights raised his lance and pointed it at the sky with Luigi still attached. He held it up as high as the metal suit arm would allow.

Luigi saw the floor moving away from him, and next thing he knew he was above even the highest point of the arena. He could see the door they used to enter this room in the first place.

When he committed the mistake of looking down at the great drop below - and at a terrified princess next to an even more petrified dog - the drop felt as tall as Mount Wario.

'MAAARIOOO!' He cried in desperation, caring none for how futile it was.

Maybe, just maybe, if he screamed out his name loud enough, his big brother would swoop in to save him like he always did.

'LUIGI!' Daisy shouted.

'Thou art a 'ardy one. Even I will admiteth that. But I knoweth thou will be ineth fer ye world of pain!'

He flung his lance back, just a bit. But that little bit was enough to unhook Luigi.

The plumber closed his eyes, not daring to see the floor getting closer to him. He fell for agonisingly long hours. At least, it felt like hours.

'LUIIIGIII!'

***THUD* **He hit the floor chest first.

The only sounds that could be heard after that sickening thud were Daisy's heavy breathing, and the excited pre-recorded cheering from the cardboard crowd.

Luigi winced as the pain erupted through him. The fact that he could wonder how he was still conscious did nothing to mask the aching surging through every vein. He struggled to keep his eyes open, and everything around him became barely legible blurs.

Something orange, no doubt Daisy, ran up to him and got on her knees. A smaller white something, clearly Polterpup, sat by her side and licked his cheek gently.

'Luigi, sweetie? Luigi! Talk to me, please!'

'I'm... alright...' He gasped out.

A bold-faced lie if there ever was one, but the affectionate licks from his pet made it just a little more true.

Daisy was torn between sighing in relief and screaming out more. 'You sure? Do... do you think you'll be okay?'

Amongst the pain, he managed to note her tone. He couldn't remember the last time she sounded _that_ close to tears.

He put on the best smile he could, and looked her in the eye. 'Yeah... I'll be fine... but it might - _owie_ \- take a while...'

Daisy smiled, weakly but genuinely. With how much her plumber went through on his various adventures, whether it was getting trapped in Battlerock Galaxy or getting inhaled into Bowser's gut, she knew he could survive more than this.

'HA HA HA!' MacFrights laughed behind her.

The sound of his mockery reminded her of the battle at hand. She leapt to her feet, making sure she fenced off the path between her plumber and the 'king'. In a moment of defensiveness, she felt as if she could stop the lance like a brick wall.

The lights on the Phantasma-Gloves got bright. _Really_ bright.

'Polterpup,' She muttered to the dog who looked up her immediately. 'Stay by Luigi. I'll handle this. By _myself_.'

Though Polterpup did not want to leave her on her own, his owner took priority. He gave her a nod, and perched himself by Luigi's side.

MacFrights's triumphant laughter echoed from within his metallic shell. 'And I thoughteth ye green peasant would be 'arder ta defeateth than yon! But it appeareth that thee waseth a mere weakling. I 'ath battledeth rodents with more might than him!'

Daisy gritted her teeth. The gloves' lights grew even brighter, alongside the rage that boiled within her. As if hurting her sweetie wasn't enough, mocking him went the extra mile.

'HEY!'

The 'king's' laughter stopped.

'Come at me!' The princess shouted.

MacFrights stuck his head out. 'Doth thou challengeth me? That is what I liketh ta see! Tis more fun if ye challenger doth not runneth away!'

Daisy circled around him slowly, keeping her eyes directly on the tip of the lance.

'You gonna go already?! Ye princess awaiteth!'

'I shall answereth thy call! Fastly Guinevere!'

The 'horse' buckled, and charged forward. MacFrights lowered his lance, and held it back as if planning to skewer right through her. All the way, she stood still.

Luigi felt like an ocean's worth of pressure had been dropped on him as he tried to lift himself up. His arms shook and ached underneath his own weight, but still he tried.

'Daisy...!' He yelled in a hoarse voice. 'L... Look out...!'

Unable to read her own thoughts through the anger that clouded her mind, Daisy held her arms out.

'Tis ye endeth of ye road for thee, fair maiden!'

He stopped, not by his own control, abruptly enough to give him whiplash.

'... What?!'

Peeping out from behind his safe zone, he couldn't believe it. And neither could Luigi.

'D-Daisy...?'

The princess stood her ground, her shoes scrapping against the floor as MacFrights continued his failed attempts to turn her into a human kebab. She held onto the star-tipped end of the spear, so tight she almost broke it.

MacFrights shuddered when he saw the unbridled anger in her eyes. She didn't even seem to struggle, though her knees trembled.

'Now listen here, you delusional actor.' She yelled through gritted teeth. 'Give me that shiny gold thing, before I take it back myself!'

The 'king', despite being completely unable to get his lance back, just grinned. 'Doth thou thinketh I will giveth up ye gold yon easily? I ameth a king, and a good king fightseth until he goesth down with his kingdom!'

Luigi found the strength within him to lift his heavy, aching body off the floor with grave difficulty. Polterpup grabbed him by the overall strap and carried him up. He refused to let go until he was absolutely certain his owner could stand up on his own.

'Margherita!' The plumber yelled. 'H-He'll-' He coughed due to his weakening throat. 'He'll skewer you alive!'

Daisy, in her emotional state, could pay him no attention. Her focus fell purely on making the 'king' pay. And being refused her rightful prize only made it worse.

'YOU ASKED FOR IT!'

She pulled the lance in closer, and just like she had used Suction Shot she flung it over her shoulders with hardly any effort.

_***CLA-ANK* *CRASH***_

It hit the ground with the most ear-drum-shattering metallic sound imaginable. Bits of metal went flying around the arena, scattering all over the floor. The entire free arm fell off, and half of the 'horse's' framework could be seen.

Luigi, who had his hands over his ears, stared in shock and awe. 'D-Daisy...?'

Polterpup dropped the overall strap when his own jaw fell open.

MacFrights popped his head out, his eyes travelling in every direction.

'I seeth that thou fair maiden is... is tougher than I previously thoughteth. But you willeth 'ath to, uh, to try 'arder than that.'

By this point, her face was bright red. 'So that wasn't enough, huh? You wanna more, huh? Alright. I'LL GIVE YOU MORE!'

She lifted it over her head once again and slammed it into the floor a second time. Even more pieces flew off, one coming uncomfortably close to smacking Luigi in the face. The only thing left of the 'horse' was its wooden frame, and MacFrights had been dismounted from it entirely.

He held onto his lance, but had to resort to dragged the giant metal body around by his regular spindly ghost arm. It was like he was the sole survivor of an attack, and was now dragging his dying body back to the real king to report their loss.

'GET OVER HERE!'

Daisy ignored the lance and went straight for what was left of the main body. She held it up above her head, not even breaking a sweat, and chucked it across the entire coliseum.

It struck the drawbridge-shaped door that led to the exit stairs, and broke apart into hundreds of pieces that went flying in a glorious shiny metal explosion.

Luigi could finally say something. 'Go Daisy!'

When the hundreds of metal bits settled, it left a dazed MacFrights in the middle of the clanking debris. He held a sword and a shield, both seemingly held together with duct tape, that he apparently had stored in that suit of armour.

The lights on the gloves faded, retaining only about half their brightness.

'Looks art deceivingeth...!' The dazed 'king' mumbled. 'When Ms Gravely is involvedeth!'

Daisy groaned. 'Did thou forgeteth about thy battle?'

MacFrights slammed his shield into his own face - on purpose, mind you - and got his head back into the game.

He smirked. 'I must admiteth, thee fair maiden art a powerful fighter. Thou would maketh a fine warrior! It 'ath beeneth centuries since I last 'adeth a fight like yon. I appreciateth ye glorious battle!'

'Thanks. Now how about you handeth- ugh, _hand_ that gold thing over?'

He shook his head. 'Nah, lassie. A king must fighteth until ye end! But thou should not worryeth. Thy prowess in battle will no doubt equaleth victory!'

Daisy didn't know if she should've been annoyed or happy, but either way she stood ready to finish the match.

'Luigi!'

The mention of his name snapped the plumber in question back into the fight.

'Get the strobulb ready! I have a feeling that this match is just about over.'

Luigi fumbled his flashlight around, and approached the 'king' cautiously as he charged up his weapon. He stood just a step behind Daisy.

MacFrights held up his sword and bellowed out his battle cry once again. He swung his sword around like a tornado, spinning towards them like the ballerina ghosts from the Great Stage. Unlike his prowess with his lance, his ability to use a sword seemed to be lacking.

Daisy held her arm out causally, like she was just opening a door, and grabbed onto the blade when it clanked against her hand. His shield fell to the ground and dragged him down with it. The way he hung there was like a puppet being controlled by two different people.

Despite the embarrassing position, the 'king' smiled. 'Now yon is ye might I expectedeth from thou, lassie! But ye real question is - willeth thy green friend proveth his worth in a battle?'

Luigi wasn't so sure. Compared to Daisy? Absolutely not.

'Arf arf!' According to Polterpup, yes and them some.

The plumber unleashed the Strobulb, stunning the 'king' without giving him a chance to block the rays. MacFrights fought the pull of the Poltergust almost as well as Soulfflé, dragging his shield against the ground.

'And now!' He announced. 'Tis time fer ye finishin' move! Goeth, thou green man, and emergeth victorious!'

Luigi smiled, albeit softly. Never had an opponent given him such encouraging words before their defeat.

'And I shalleth emergeth victorious! Now... eth.' He declared, the most confident that night.

He delivered the 'finishing move' onto MacFrights, slamming his body into the ground four times until he let go of the shield.

'And ye winner is...' He said. 'Ye fair maiden and her li'l green friend!'

And just like that, he joined his friends in the ghost container unit.

'BOOOOO!' The fake crowd jeered.

'To you too!' Daisy yelled.

Perhaps in response to her, the cardboard cut-outs sunk back into the stage.

And, like most of the grand ghosts, the Poltergust nozzle rattled around and glowed yellow before the next elevator button shot out of it. The 'shiny gold thing' landed in the middle of the arena.

'Ya know,' Daisy said. 'That delusional actor may have had a bigger ego than Bowser, but you gotta love a guy who congrats those who beat him.'

Luigi nodded, and picked up the button. Just as he saw it before, it had a '7' on it. He thought back on the map and pamphlet he looked at; what floor was that again?

'The number?' Daisy asked.

'Seven.'

'Seven?'

It piqued her interest, greatly, but she couldn't quite recall why.

'Um, I think it's that indoor garden we were supposed to go to together.'

'Wait, the GARDEN?!'

She rushed over to him and yanked the button right out of his hand. Her eyes sparkled at the thought.

'Oh my gosh, it is! I was so excited to go there, before, ya know, King Boo happened. But now we can go for real! Ohmygosh, we have to go. Right now!'

'R-Right now?'

'Yeah! It's an indoor garden, sweetie! Can you imagine all the pretty plants? I gotta see it, now!'

She grabbed his wrist, and dragged him away as she charged for that elevator. She was going to have that indoor garden date with Luigi, and no ghost was going to stop her.

* * *

_**KING MACFRIGHTS, THE FAUX RULER**_

_AGE - 42_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Specifics unknown, but died performing in a play_

_William MacFrights used to be an actor, and his final role was as a king. He's now convinced he was always a king, and tries to get others to know this 'fact'. No one buys it, so he has to make fake crowds to celebrate his jousting tournaments._

_Speculation claims that, due to William's character dying to poison, another actor purposely swapped the harmless water with real poison._

* * *

**Author Notes - Also known as 'the chapter where I justify the existence of both Daisy and the Phantasma-Gloves in this story'.**

**For some reason, I feel like Daisy's slap might be the most controversial part of the story. Which is why I tried my damnedest to make sure it was ONLY because of stress, and not something that Daisy would even _think_ about doing otherwise.**

**King MacFrights' faux nature came about when TV Tropes drew my attention to the fact that he needs cardboard cutouts to cheer for him. And seeing how he's named after **_**MacBeth**_ **\- a play - the 'actor' thing happened. His 'horse' Guinevere is named after King Arthur's wife cos why not.**

* * *

_'AHHH! Get away! GET AWAY!'_

_Another night of nightmares. Distressed screams from the Mario brothers' residence at night happened so often that those who lived nearby no longer had any real response to it._

_'Get away from me, King Boo! SOMEONE, HELP ME!'_

_Until recently. Because it wasn't Luigi who was screaming in his dreams anymore. The man in red shot awake, but did not relax._

_'LUIGI! WHERE ARE YOU?!'_

_Indeed, it was Mario. Ever since getting captured by King Boo - after the second time especially - that royal phantom infested his dreams and sent him through a hellish nightmare every night. Thank Grambi Luigi was there for him._

_'Mario! Big Bro!'_

_The moment Luigi got out of bed, Mario ran over and hugged him tight. Luigi still wasn't used to being the security blanket now, especially not to his big brave brother._

_'HE'S AFTER ME LUIGI!'_

_Luigi, every night, would hug him back and tell him that King Boo would never get him again. But it never seemed to work for long, as the nightmares came back the next night. What was he doing wrong? No matter what, Mario appreciated whatever his brother tried to do._


	13. Ain't No Kinder-Garden

**Author Notes - I both love and hate the Garden Suites. It looks absolutely gorgeous and the mystic atmosphere is amazing. But have you ever tried to speedrun it? You will hate it afterwards if you do.**

**And Dr Potter? The guy's a jerkface and his battle is annoying, even when you know the tricks.**

**Also I can never do those pineapple segments without getting hit once. Unlike my mom when we were co-oping, who did it on her first try. BOTH times we played through the game together. And I know she's reading this so HI THERE!**

**Some might be wondering how I manage to update with such long chapters as quickly as I do. Well, it's not because I'm some awesome multi-talented genius. It'd because I have literally nothing better to do. Not having a life comes with perks.**

**Thanks to... actually, let me mix this up. Gratitude to KZJester, Nintengamer55, Mr. Enlightment, Minima42, and Hunter Lloyd for the favourites/follows! This is the most attention I've gotten in quite some time. It makes me happy.**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN - AIN'T NO KINDER-GARDEN**

The entire elevator ride up, Daisy couldn't contain her excitement. She couldn't sit still, preferring to run about the elevator cart like a four-year-old high on sugar, while Luigi and Polterpup watched her from the middle of the room.

'Can you believe it?!' She said, prancing around the room. 'We're going up to the garden! The GARDEN! Are you excited? Because I'm excited. Like, really, REALLY excited!'

Luigi smiled, the same kind of smile one makes at a litter of kittens sleeping together in a pile. Daisy's moments of childlike excitement were rare, but that just made them all the more special.

'I'm excited if you're excited.' He said. And it couldn't be more truthful.

The elevator dinged, and came to a stop. Daisy emitted high-pitched sounds of joy as she waited for the doors to open, and the moment they did she went charging out through them. In sharp contrast to her never-ending squealing, once she ran out into the elevator hall she quieted down almost completely. She looked around the room, gasping in joyous awe.

'Wow... oh, you have to see this.'

Luigi stepped out of the elevator cage quietly, not wanting to disturb her peace. As opposed to the horrid odour of decay the castle had, the aroma of various plants was much nicer. He felt like he had walked into Daisy's own garden.

The hall was noticeably dimmer than those before it, but in a way that relaxed Luigi instead of giving him fear. Two trees grew by the entrance and another in the opposite corner, their shiny leaves falling every few seconds and littering the floor. A stone path could barely been seen underneath the foot-deep grass. Flower pots hung from the ceiling, and little gardens filled with many kinds of flowers rested by the walls.

Polterpup sniffed at one of the little gardens, particularly in the fire-hydrant-red bunch. Once certain it was fine enough territory, he lifted his hindleg up and did his business.

Luigi gasped. 'Polterpup, don't do that!'

Daisy gasped as well, but much more happily. 'Oh, never mind him. Look at _this_.'

He joined her kneeling down in front of a different garden. She smiled intently at one flower in particular, the one with smooth white petals vaguely resembling a ghost. She reached out, watching to touch it, before stopping herself.

'That, Luigi,' She said. 'Is a _Dendrophylax lindenii_, known commonly as a Ghost Orchid. The appropriate name is not lost on me. Notice how it doesn't have any leaves? It has to photosynthesise with its roots instead. They usually require _very_ specific requirements to grow this well. The gardener must be amazing if they get this baby to bloom!'

Luigi marvelled at the Ghost Orchid, listening to every word she said. 'You know a lot about flowers.'

Daisy chuckled. 'My parents named me _Daisy_. I was kinda roped into it.' She stood up. 'But that's enough of that. We really should be - OH MY GOSH there's more!'

Like the floor before, the elevator hall had a hallway leading to the left. And Daisy disappeared down it faster than you can say 'hi I'm Daisy!'.

'Ah, Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'We have to stick together.' He glanced at the dog guarding his territory. 'That includes you, boy.'

The boys ran after the princess, expecting to find her long gone. Instead, she was barely halfway down to the next turn, merely waltzing down quietly and glancing around at the flowers and vines taking over the walls.

Paintings had been hung on the wall, but Luigi couldn't tell of what past the sheer amount of greenery growing over them. The only 'path' was simply the grass being a couple inches shorter.

Luigi gulped. He wasn't going to get lost amongst all this green, was he?

Daisy moved her hand through the many leaves, noting the genuine sheen they reflected from Luigi's flashlight. It was the first time since putting them on that she disliked the Phantasma-Gloves; she wanted to _feel_ the real leaves, but didn't want to take the gloves off in case of an unexpected attack.

'They're real...' She muttered, just loud enough for Luigi to hear. 'I can't believe it. How do you grow this many real plants inside a dim hotel?'

'Um... ghost magic?' Luigi guessed.

'Can't argue with that. I gotta find this gardener. If they hate working for Ms Gravely as much as the other guys do, I'll gladly hire them myself. Come on!'

The words 'come on' rarely filled Luigi with joy, and this time was no exception. The excited princess ran around the corner, leaving her plumber lost in a sea of green. Unlike Polterpup, whose bright white fur stood out gloriously, Luigi's green and dark blue clothes made him blend into the background.

'Daisy! I can't keep up with you with the Poltergust on my back!'

The corner led to another long hallway, which led to another corner, which led to yet another hallway, each no less covered in flora than the last. If anything, it only got more intense.

Luigi and his ghost dog arrived at a set of golden doors, which stood out due to the lack of any plant-life covering it. Even then, the carvings on it resembled invading vines. Daisy waited for him right in front of the doors, dancing on the spot and emitting adorable squealing sounds.

'You ready, sweetie? I'm just waiting for you.'

'Y-Yeah, I think I'm ready.'

'And AWAY we go!'

Once again, contrasting with her rough excitement she opened the grand doors slowly and carefully. Both mortals squinted from the light that hit their eyes. Once their eyes adjusted, they gaped at the sight.

'Oh... my...'

'Dang...'

'Yip?'

The cramped hallway opened up to what appeared to be the inside of a tower, seemingly tall enough to rival even Tall Tall Mountain or Grumble Volcano. Stairs wrapped around the walls, leading to three great storeys and presumably the guest rooms.

Moonlight seeped in through the giant mossy window that took up almost the entire back wall. Stone paths and a couple benches took up most of the bottom floor, but some flowers still managed to break through.

Luigi stared, his eyes constantly moving and scanning for new details.

'H... How?' Daisy gasped. 'This is... there are... how is this here?! It's like the one of the Haunted Towers was just... just... put here!'

Only then did he become aware of how nonsensical this whole floor was. How was a tower this massive in the hotel at all? And why did it only count as the one 'floor'?

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup brought their attention to a small ceramic stand in the middle of the room. A certain shiny gold object rested upon it.

Luigi's eyes lit up. 'There it is! There's the button!'

He looked left and right, seeing nothing more than greenery. There the button was, up for the taking.

'Careful, Luigi.' Daisy said, putting her hand on his shoulder. 'I smell a trap. All it's missing is a great big neon sign.'

His eyes widened. Though he saw no threats to speak of, he could sense some ghostly aura. Without thinking, he ran over to the button.

'Luigi? What are you doing?' Daisy asked, running after him.

He yanked the button from the stone platform and held it close, bracing for any sort of attack. Nothing seemed to happen.

'I had to grab the button quick,' He said. 'Before anything ha...'

His voice trailed off when something moved in the corner of his eye. A watering can, seemingly on its own, floated over the ground and watered a spot in the grass. A blue stem sprouted up from that spot, a flytrap-like head at the top opening up.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Uh... oookay?'

Luigi stared at it, waiting for it to do, well, anything.

'GED OFFA MA LAWN, YEH WHIPPERSNAPPERS!'

'Yah!'

An elderly voice yelled from nowhere and made Luigi flinch. And drop the button.

The button bounced off the stand, and straight into the plant's mouth. Its jaws clamped over it tight.

'Luigi!' Daisy yelled, far harsher than she intended to.

The plumber had no time to think about what he just did, as a green ghost materialised and revealed himself to be the one holding the watering can. His human-like appearance made his status as one of the 'grand ghosts' clear.

And he did not look happy.

Compared to the grand ghosts before, who were mostly young, he was much older than even Chambrea, or Nana from the original mansion. He had to be at least in his eighties, and his long scrawny beard added to his visible age. A small daisy grew out of his woven hat.

The real Daisy smiled. 'Wait, are you the gardener of this place?'

'Yer darn tootin' I am!' The ghost replied. 'Only Dr Ramos Potter coulda grown a garden this impressive. And I don't appreciate tha damage yer causin'!'

'Damage? What damage?'

The ghost, known as Dr Potter, pointed at her feet. She lifted her foot up, to see she had crushed a petunia underneath her.

'Oops. Sorry. I didn't-'

'I suggest yeh ged outta ma garden right this minute!' Dr Potter continued to yell. 'If yeh get yer rear ends out right now, I might be nice ta yeh. Such disregard fer ma flora friends is why I don't let strangers in!'

The gardener ghost glanced to his right, and saw Polterpup marking his territory once again, this time on a lily.

'And that! I don't need no mutt doin' his business on ma flowers!'

Luigi gulped. 'Uh, y-yeah, we can do that. If we could just have that button back...'

Dr Potter looked him over. Was this really the man that King Boo was so scared of?

He chuckled. 'Yeh want the button? Alright...'

He sprinkled more water onto the button-snatching plant, and like all good gardeners let it grow on its own. And by that I mean it IMMEDIATELY grew upwards like a beanstalk, its 'trunk' growing thicker than most trees.

'WHOA!'

Daisy tackled Luigi to the ground, throwing the both of them away from the sprouting stalk and the rubble it left tumbling down in its path. Little stones plinked against her face as the stalk tore through parts of the staircase.

It only stopped growing once it practically reached the ceiling, leaving the giant blue beanstalk looking like it was supporting the whole place. Luigi couldn't even see the top of it.

Daisy looked back down at him. He could see the fear in her eyes. Guilt began to sink in.

_If only I didn't drop that button..._

Dr Potter laughed. 'Have fun geddin' that button now! Ma friends ain't happy wit' yeh messin' wit' their family!'

Daisy growled. 'You kidding me?! Dude, if you just gave us the button we would've just left! That... that doesn't even make sense!'

The old ghost, along with his watering can, vanished into air, leaving our heroes with the skyscraper of a plant to climb.

Daisy stood up and helped Luigi get onto his feet. 'Well, we could've gotten out of here in two seconds, but I suppose another adventure works too.'

She intended for that remark to be aimed at no one in particular, or at the very most Dr Potter. Luigi whimpered.

'Luigi, you okay?' She asked.

He opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it and turned away from her. He strummed his fingers against his flashlight, a stim that Daisy recognised from before. She made a mental note to watch for that.

She smiled gently. 'Hey, it'll be fine. So what that old fart thought it'd be funny to make things hard for us? We've proven we can get through anything.'

He tried to smile too. 'Yeah. Yeah! We can do it! ... Right?'

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup, who had marked his territory with impunity while the plant had been growing, rejoined the group and sat by Luigi's feet.

'You too, boy.'

'And, if you can, please don't scent-mark anything else.'

Daisy looked up to the very top of the stalk, nearly falling backwards. She put her hands on her hips, her eyes scanning the trunk, before she sighed.

'Yeah, no way we're climbing this flora beast.' She said. 'We gotta find another way.'

Luigi focused on the stairs, following them all the way around as they spiralled upwards.

'We have to climb the stairs.' He said. 'That'll get us up there.'

Daisy huffed. 'Oh great.'

* * *

'I don't trust them whippersnappers. Did yeh see what that missy did ta ma Penny? She crushed her beneath her foot wit'out a care!'

Dr Potter went into hiding in a bedroom filled with thorny vines, a room chosen due to it being unreachable to mere mortals past the overgrown door. He floated around the room, just pacing about as he rambled.

'That missy is heartless. She don't care about our family. We're all innit together, and she mercilessly murders one o' us!'

Most of the audience did not respond to him, due to being regular old flowers. He stared at a lonely zinnia.

'Why, yes Zeke! Yeh're correct! That green kid is certainly not much bedder. He didn't react to tha cruel killin' at all.'

He turned to a tulip, as if it actually spoke to him.

'What's that, Tully? Yeh doubt he'll make it out o' our garden alive? Oh ho, don't I know it! We're too close ofa family ta let some mortals destroy us all. Isn't that right, my friends?'

He imagined them cheering all as once, celebrating their inevitable victory over the murderous mortals.

In reality, only one sound other than Dr Potter's own rambling could be heard: low, vaguely dog-like sounds coming from the corner. In that corner, among all the non-sentient plant life, stood a venus flytrap in a pot. One with scraggy orange skin and glowing yellow eyes. She cheered on her ghostly friend the best way she could.

'O' course ma little Audrey would cheer tha loudest oudda all o' yeh. That's right, sweetie. We will join together and show those mortals what they ged fer messin' wit' tha family!'

* * *

'WAH!'

They had only reached the first storey, when a branch from the behemoth plant broke through the floor between the door and a hole in the wall further down. Nothing remained of that section of the walkway except for dust and rubble as the plant extended through it, branching off like it was trying to overgrow the entire wall.

Luigi got off the floor, and whined. He couldn't articulate the words to describe his feelings. Daisy, after the years of hanging out with him, could recognise the subtle signs of an upcoming meltdown. Polterpup, meanwhile, couldn't understand why his owner wouldn't look at him no matter how much he cuddled up against him.

'Don't worry about that, Luigi.' Daisy said, opening the door next to them. 'We'll just go around.'

'If we can...'

The door brought them into one of the several suites on the floor, something not very obvious aside from the bed. Leafy vines and overgrown grass covered most of the bedroom. The ceiling lantern barely emitted any light, and a thick layer of leaves prevented much moonlight at all from shining through the window.

Daisy paid no attention to how dim everything was. Her mind went blank at the sight of the sizeable buds on tall stems growing on various spots in the room. The mostly-hidden pink petals glowed in the dark, and they emitted little white specks of illuminating pollen.

She approached one of the buds with wide eyes. 'Oh... my... gosh! I never thought I'd see one of these for _real_!'

Luigi walked up to her, feeling his eyes sting a little. 'You know what that is?'

'This, sweetie, is the _incredibly_ rare _Candentis Rosea_, commonly known as the Glowing Hibiscus. I've see these in pictures and TV shows, and I can't believe there's one in front of me right now!'

Polterpup floated up, and sniffed the bud. He found a rather odd yet lovely aroma. Luigi rubbed his watery eyes - why were they watering _now_?

'See, the Glowing Hibiscus displays bioluminescence.' Daisy explained. 'And it is _gorgeous_. But they only bloom when exposed to a strong light.'

'A strong light?' Luigi repeated. 'Oh, I bet the Strobulb could do that!'

He held the flashlight up, and charged its beam. The unleashed flash consumed the entire plant, and the Glowing Hibiscus soaked it all up. Its petals opened up into a pink star, and its pollen burst into the air.

'EEEEE!' Daisy squealed. 'It looks even prettier in person!' She leaned over and inhaled its aroma. 'Oh... and it has an aroma that I just can't describe! It smells like... a misty forest under the moonlight.'

Luigi really wanted to experience its aroma too, but he was too busy rubbing his itchy eyes, which had only gotten worse when the flower bloomed.

'You okay there?' Daisy asked, noticing his red eyes.

'Yeah, I'm...' He paused to sniff. 'I'm okay.'

She frowned. 'Aww, you must be allergic to its pollen! You poor thing. Let's get you out of here. The door to the next room is right there.'

As they approached the next door, Luigi couldn't help feeling a little guilty.

'S-Sorry...' He muttered. 'For ruining this for you.'

Daisy scoffed. 'You didn't ruin anything! We have to keep going anyway.'

He remembered being told when he was young that sometimes, he had to lie to make people feel better. It made him wonder, how many of those sweet words were lies? His thoughts got cut off by a paranormal gate forming and blocking off the door. While Luigi yelped, Daisy rolled her eyes.

'Seriously?' She said. 'This again?'

A Goob popped in through the floor - just how many of these blue ghosts were there? She held up one of those glowing flowers by the stalk, and sniffed it.

'Ah, you gotta love these glowing things.' She looked at our heroes. 'What are you guys doing here?'

'To bust you!' Daisy yelled. 'Get 'er, sweetie!'

Luigi nodded, and unleashed a strong flash into her face. With killer reflexes, the Goob held the flower in front of her, and it took the brunt of the beam. The flower bloomed on cue, spewing its pollen directly into Luigi's face.

'_Ah... __**AHH-CHOOO!**_'

Daisy gasped. Luigi sneezed a few more times and dropped his flashlight.

'Hey!' The princess yelled at the ghost. 'Stop hiding behind that flower and fight him for real!'

The Goob chuckled. 'If he gets defeated by a _flower_, I doubt it'd be a fun fight.'

She threw mocking laughter at them, and wouldn't stop laughing at their expense until Polterpup grabbed her flower and tore it to absolute shreds. She held her hands up and backed away from the rapid dog.

'Okay, okay, I surrender.' The Goob said, causally. 'Let's not go crazy here.'

Daisy sighed. 'Great. Now if you could just-

'PSYCHE!'

The Goob delivered a sucker punch into Daisy's chest. The princess grunted as she fell backwards onto the floor.

'Daisy!' Luigi cried.

Through his watery eyes he couldn't quite see anything, but just by listening he knew what happened. He looked around, failing to discern a thing through his blurry vision. With a blind leap of faith, he flashed at random.

'AH!'

He grinned. Activating the Poltergust, he felt himself being dragged around through the overgrown grass.

'Hey hey hey, I'm sorry!'

He doubted her apology, and for that he slammed her into the floor four times, enough times to get her into that Poltergust. With the ghost gone, the paranormal gate vanished. Luigi rubbed his eyes and blinked rapidly. Nothing seemed to stop the irritation.

Daisy stood up with a growl. 'How did I let myself fall for that?'

Polterpup snickered.

'Oh, you _know_ the pun wasn't intended. I can't believe I did something so _stupid_.'

Luigi frowned. 'No, it's my fault. If it wasn't for me and my stupid allergies...'

He jolted as he felt her touch his shoulder. Daisy gave him a reassuring smile.

'Don't beat yourself up over something ya can't help.'

He smiled. _Yeah_. _Why do that when there's so many things I _can _help?_

His eyes continued to sting. Despite knowing it wouldn't help, he rubbed them like he was trying to sand them down.

'Speaking of which,' Daisy said. 'Let's get out of here.'

Luigi still didn't feel right with forcing his princess to leave the glowing flowers behind, but regardless followed her through the door. Away from the sparkly pollen, his eyes began to sooth. Wherever he was now, it was much brighter and pink was everywhere.

Daisy squealed once again. 'Oh, this place just keeps on getting prettier and prettier!'

He gave his eyes one last rub, and... oh Grambi, Daisy was right. Thanks to the tree branches holding up the ceiling, cherry blossom petals fell like snow flakes, blanketing the floor with soft pink piles.

Polterpup yipped in joy and belly-flopped into one of the piles. The petals scattered everywhere. With all the blossoms around, you'd be forgiven for not realising the room was a regular bathroom underneath.

Luigi looked up at the falling petals, and sighed blissfully. With all the terror his ghostbusting adventures always brought, it made him appreciate the quieter moments more.

Daisy grabbed a handful of petals and rubbed them against her face. 'I just don't understand it... why bother with the kidnapping? I would absolutely pay to come here.'

She noticed light seeping into the room through a hole in the wall. It clearly wasn't a hole for a door, as it looked more like someone crashed their way through it. She kicked a large pile of cherry blossoms away and looked out.

'Hey Luigi...'

Luigi didn't turn to look at her, but still he listened to her words. He simply couldn't look away from the calming branches.

'If we go through here, we'll be able to keep going!'

That managed to move his attention. Daisy, brushing off a few of the petals, ducked through the great hole in the wall. Luigi, followed by a very pink and flowery Polterpup, ran through and smiled at the sight of the rest of the Garden Suites.

'That... that was lucky.' He said.

'If that hole wasn't there,' Daisy cracked her knuckles. 'I would've made one. Let's make a mental note to come back here, and keep going.'

In the back of Luigi's mind, he hoped for a easy time for the rest of the floor. The remainder of him knew never to get that optimistic.

And how right he was.

They almost reached the top of that flight of stairs when the floating watering can reappeared, accompanied by Dr Potter's mocking laughter. The very sight of it made Daisy groan.

'Really?' She said. 'Again? Listen Hairy, I've already had enough of you.'

Dr Potter, remaining invisible, laughed again. 'I could say tha same thing to yeh too, yeh whippersnapper. Tha way yer doggy tore right through one o' ma Glowing Hibiscuses was heartless! Yeh're murderers, tha lot of yeh. But if yeh want plant life ta mess wit'...

He sprinkled water on a little fern, that did not remain little for long. Leaf by leaf it grew ten times its size. Then, it grew a pineapple. Not a regular-sized one, mind you, but one big enough to provide a makeshift shelter for all three heroes. The hulking fruit towered over them.

Daisy chuckled very nervously. 'Uh, hehe... a p-pineapple?' She squeaked, her confident persona crumbling at its seams. 'W-What do you expect to do with that? Make a fruit salad or-'

Luigi, for once, took her wrist. 'We gotta run!'

And that's precisely what they did, back down the stairs. The fern 'spat' the giant pineapple into the air, and it slammed back into the ground. Juice splattered everywhere, but the fruit bounced back up. Like a slinky, it made its way downwards.

The loud squishy THUD each impact made only got louder each time. It made Luigi scream incessantly as he charged down the stairs. Daisy glanced back. Never did she think a _pineapple_ would scare her this much. She took a moment to judge whether or not jumping off was a good idea.

Nope. _Absolutely_ not.

They were approaching the end of the flight. She eyed the path to the right.

'Hang on, sweetie!'

She grabbed Luigi by the Poltergust and threw both him and herself down, out the way of the tumbling pineapple as it crashed into the wall and shattered into pieces.

Luigi breathed heavily, coughing from all the various particles in the air. Daisy winced from the pain in her knees.

'Ooh...' She muttered. 'That could've been a smoother landing...'

Despite the pineapple breaking apart and leaving fruit chunks everywhere, another came tumbling after it. And another. And another. And ano- how many pineapples _were_ there?!

Daisy stood up. 'How many pineapples _are_ there?!'

That's what I just said! Apparently, whatever Dr Potter's magical watering can did made the tiny fern into an infinite giant pineapple dispenser. The chunks began to pile up, before the ones on the bottom dissolved into mulch and disappeared back into the floor.

The princess sighed. 'How did we end up in this mess?'

Luigi glanced away from her. _I'm sorry..._

'Luigi!'

He flinched, nearly dropping his flashlight. 'Uh, y-yeah?'

'Got any ideas?'

He gulped. _Well, I am the idea guy. For some reason..._

Approaching the railing, he peered at the pineapple-generating fern. In spite of its now-magical properties, it looked to be no stronger than a regular fern. If anything, it seemed weaker due to having to expend so much energy into creating gigantic fruits.

'We have to destroy that fern.' He said. 'It's the only way it'll stop.'

'Yeah, I kinda got that.' Daisy said. 'But how do we actually - oh!'

She noticed Polterpup sitting right in the middle of a major impact sight, taking every single hit like nothing. Mostly thanks to the pineapples passing right through his ghostly skin. He nibbled at the fruit chunks in front of him.

'Hey Polterpup!'

The spectral hound perked his head at her call.

'You think you could break that fern for us?'

With a cheerful yelp, he got to his paws and pranced up the stairs. The pineapples hit him every time without fail, but none managed to strike him for real.

'I gotta ask.' Daisy said, turning to Luigi. 'You seriously got through two - wait, no, _six_ \- mansions by yourself? How did ya do _that_?'

The plumber shrugged. 'I just did, I guess.'

Polterpup reached the haunted fern, and for a moment pondered its ability to at least aid with world hunger. He quickly shrugged it off - they could just ask that Hairy Potter guy to make some more later.

An organic rope-looking-thing rested on the ground, and was wrapped around the base of the fern. Polterpup yanked this odd rope, and unravelled the entire thing. The leafs opened up and fell to the floor in pieces.

No more pineapples came tumbling down.

Daisy threw her fist into the air. 'Yeah! Teamwork!'

'You did it, boy!' Luigi cheered, making his way up the stairs. 'Good boy!'

Polterpup, always ecstatic to received even the weakest of compliments from his owner, wagged his tail and leapt into Luigi's arms. The man in green hugged him tight like he was a beloved teddy bear, and wouldn't stop babbling about how much of a 'good boy' Polterpup was.

'Please don't tell anyone I did this.' Daisy said. 'But... EEEEE! You and Polterpup are the cutest thing ever!'

As Luigi cuddled his loving pet, a random question managed to sneak its way into his thoughts.

_I wonder if Polterkitty gets this much love...?_

Whether he realised it or not, that spectral cat hung in the back of his mind all the time. Little debates over her innocence went on in his brain without him even knowing.

'Uh, Luigi, we have a slight problem.'

Luigi set Polterpup down and joined Daisy on the next flat platform, almost immediately seeing what the 'slight problem' was. A large vine covered in great red thorns had grown over the path and the railing. It, alongside about five other branches, seeped out from a giant hole in the wall.

Daisy knelt down, and inspected the obtrusive vine. 'Yep, just as I thought. I've dealt with one of these before. This is the _Thorny Menace_. But us gardeners prefer to call it the _Plant Equivalent of Stepping on a Lego Brick_. If this thing sprouts up, your flowers are doomed. And it's a pain in the butt to get rid of.'

'So, uh, how _do_ you get rid of it?' Luigi asked. 'You know how to, right?'

Daisy stood up, and followed the vine through the hole, stepping slowly to make sure the thorns didn't scratch her. She entered a bathroom, hardly visible due to the vines covering the sink and bath. Not to mention the broken floor tiles. Piles of autumn leaves from the branches above covered more of the floor than the cherry blossoms in the last room did.

Its respective bedroom? Unreachable past the aggressive vines covering the door.

Luigi poked his head through the wall, looked around for danger, and walked in as carefully as he could. His pant leg got caught on one of the thorns. He tugged on his leg, his blood pressure rising.

'... help...' He muttered in a weak voice.

Daisy was too busy following the vine to hear. Polterpup jumped through without a care, and unhooked him.

'There's only one way to get rid of the _Thorny Menace_, and that's to kill it at the source. The problem is that the source is nearly impossible to find in all that dirt. In fact, sometimes the source will be buried deep, deep underground. In fact, I needed to call some excavators to get even close to the-'

She found the source, a green ball of wrapped-up vines, resting perfectly in reach in the toilet bowl.

'Eh.' She said with a shrug. 'That works too.'

She reached for the vine's source.

'What are you doing?' Luigi asked, wincing.

'Er, going for the source. Why do you ask?'

He wrinkled his nose. 'In the _toilet_?'

'Yeah. That's where it is. Surprisingly this is the _third_ time I've reached into the toilet to clear put some weeds.'

Luigi had many questions, and locked them away into the vault because he wanted to never think of this again. Daisy pulled out the source - which fortunately was dry - and crushed it into a salad in her hands.

'There we go.'

Without its source, that branch of _Thorny Menace_ twitched and jerked until it disintegrated into green dust, disappearing inch by inch.

'The one good thing about the_ Thorny Menace_ is that when you finally do find the freaking source, it becomes pathetically easy to get rid off.' She said. 'That should've cleared the way. Come on!'

Luigi nodded, and headed for the way out.

'Wah!'

He jumped back as a set of paranormal gates implanted themselves in front of the hole.

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'This _again_, huh?'

Luigi shivered, feeling a chill breathing down his neck. His nerves tingled, similar to how they did when he first connected with Gooigi.

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Um, I'm not the paranormal expert here, but... leaves aren't supposed to do that.'

The orange and red leaves moved around like they were in a swirling breeze, despite there being no wind in the room. Polterpup intently watched seemingly nothing.

Luigi gasped. 'It's like the Sneakers... where is it?'

He turned around...

'BOOYA!'

'AHHH!'

A pink ghost with shoulders above his face popped out behind him, reaching his arms up like a theme park zombie.

'Luigi!' Daisy cried.

The pink ghost - a Slinker - floated away, leaving behind afterimages as he dissipated into thin air.

'What's a Sneaker?' Daisy asked. 'And most importantly, how is it important to know?'

'Ghosts from Evershade Valley. They were great at hiding themselves. But they sometimes gave themselves away, by water, or dust, or... leaves.'

The leaves swayed like someone moving their invisible hand through them. Polterpup followed the movements perfectly, growling at the unseen foe. Luigi watched the dog hunting for the Slinker, seeing the swirl of the leaves approaching-

'Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'Look out?'

'For what? The ghost's invisible!'

Something grabbed her arms, and pulled them down to her side. Something shook her around. Something stopped her from punching it.

'Hey! Get off me, ya ectoplasmic twit!'

'Oh no.' The Slinker whispered in her ear. 'I wouldn't want to do that. I won't get paid otherwise.'

Seeing his beloved princess struggling and hearing her grunting in pain made something in Luigi break, the same way it broke against Chambrea.

His clenched his fists, and did the only thing he knew to do when angry: yell.

'GET AWAY FROM HER!'

Without giving either the ghost or Daisy any warning, he fully-charged the Strobulb and unleashed the blinding light.

'Gah, Luigi!' Daisy cried, covering her eyes with her hand. 'Warn me before you do that!'

Wait, with her _hand_? She turned around, and jumped back with a small yelp. The Slinker stood behind her, totally visible, stunned by the Strobulb.

'Gah, I hate light!' The ghost said. 'I hate it when mortals can see!'

Daisy flashed Luigi a quick wink. 'Thanks sweetie. As for our ghostly pest...'

'Hey!'

Before the Strobulb's effects could wear off, Daisy grabbed his two tails - one in each hand - and flung him into the floor. He broke free of her grasp, and shuffled away with his hands until he once again turned invisible.

Daisy sighed. 'Now you're just stalling out the fight! Shame you forget that my sweetie has the Dark-Light Device.'

'Excuse me, the _what_ now?' The ghost replied. 'If you mortals think that you can beat ghosts with your silly technology...'

Luigi switched the Strobulb over to the Dark-Light Device, and used it to scan the area. Thank goodness it no longer overloaded after overuse. He followed where Polterpup was looking, circling around.

Clearly, the Slinker was looking for a weak spot. So, Luigi turned the other way.

The Slinker's transparent skin fell under the light, turning translucent and the same colour of oil on the water's surface.

He gasped. 'What kind of supernatural power is this?'

Had E. Gadd been there or at least successfully hacked the camera, he would've been quite angry hearing a ghost call his scientific breakthroughs 'supernatural power'.

Luigi just flashed the ghost for a second time. The Poltergust got a grip on one of its tails, and wouldn't let go no matter how much the Slinker panicked.

'No one told me you had such power! No one ever tells me these things...'

The Slinker swung his arms around like a drowning Olympic swimmer, before Luigi got a good enough grip on him to slam him into the floor. Orange leaves scattered everywhere with each bash.

Luigi could feel the Slinker pulling away from him, but his slams did not relent.

'You're not very nice!'

And that somewhat childish comeback was the last thing that ghost said before he disappeared into the Poltergust, rejoining his many friends in the container unit. The leaves settled back on the floor, and the paranormal gate vanished.

The man in green wiped his brow. 'How much more to go?'

Daisy stuck her head through the hole and looked up. 'I'd say we're about half-way up.'

Luigi whimpered. They'd be on the next floor by now if he didn't-

'Well? What are you doing just standing there? We won't make any progress at all if we just sit here.'

The plumber stepped after her, but alas the other branches of _Thorny Menace_ remained around the big hole, and Luigi got his pants caught again. In a spike of frustration, he yanked his leg forward with a growl.

_*ri-ip*_

His eyes shot wide open. A small patch of his overalls remained caught on the thorn, leaving his red-and-white sock partially exposed.

He whimpered. 'These were my favourite pair...'

'Really? Why?' Daisy asked.

'They were the same pair I met you in.'

She smiled, both from her heart warming due to his genuine love, and from the cheesiness of his response.

'It's just a little patch.' She said. 'It'll be fine. Nice socks by the way.'

Luigi blushed profusely, and hooked one leg over the other to hide his socks. His failed attempt and subsequent wobbling made her chuckle.

'And I'm wearing underwear with smiley faces on it.' Daisy said, continuing past where the thorns were. 'So what?'

Luigi and Polterpup looked at each with the same incredulous expression. A part of the plumber wanted to ask for confirmation, but the rest of him told him not to.

* * *

Little did our heroes know, Dr Potter watched over them from the very top of the towering plant. He slammed his fist into one of the giant leaves in frustration.

'Can yeh believe them whippersnappers, Venus?' He spoke to the plant. 'They just keep killin' our family! How can they tear through ma plants tha way they do?'

He watched the mortals making their way up to the next room. Though part of the behemoth stalk ahead would block their progression, forcing another detour, he did not appreciate how quickly they were making progress.

'Them darn whippersnappers...'

Many, many seconds of silence passed. He turned around to the giant flytrap behind him.

'What's that, Venus? Yeh say yeh have a brilliant plan ta stop them, and all yeh need is for me ta sprinkle yeh wit' some water? Oh Venus, I never should o' doubted yeh!'

* * *

Our heroes were only halfway up the next flight, when...

'Oh no...' Daisy muttered, slumping her shoulders.

'W-What?'

'The can's back.'

The floating watering can sprinkled a little of the mystical water onto a random spot of the hulking blue stalk.

Daisy bent her knees, ready to jump out of the way.

A branch sprouted from the watered spot, and grew out about fifty times faster than even cress grew. The mortals jumped backwards as the branch pierced through the solid wooden staircase, leaving a massive hole between the heroes and the next door. Another branch shot out, breaking even more of the staircase a little higher up.

The watering can vanished, with the sound of Dr Potter's laughter echoing throughout all layers of the overgrown tower.

Luigi choked from the dust that had been thrown into the air. Luckily, the flying floorboards didn't quite hit the mortals. Daisy stepped up to the edge of the broken stairway, trying her hardest not to look down. In spite of her Olympic talents, she had doubts she could jump that gap.

'Oooh, yeah...' She said. 'We're not making that. If we had another way around - oh!'

Upon looking at the extended branches, she hatched a brilliant idea. One branch had connected itself to one side of the hole, while the second grew over to the other side. Each grew sizeable leaves, and between the pair was a vine growing down from a higher branch.

She walked across the one attached to her side, barely wobbling thanks to its fair width.

Luigi didn't approve so much. 'D-Daisy! What are you doing?'

Daisy stepped onto one of the big leaves, which managed to support her weight with hardly any drooping. Taking a breath, she leapt for the vine.

'Daisy!'

She didn't understand his concern, but greatly appreciated it. The force from her speed propelled the vine forward like a swing. And, well, you know how a swing works. It swung back, and forth. Back, and forth. Swinging further each time.

Once she was satisfied with her distance, she let go of the vine and let gravity do the work. Her feet landed firm on the next branch, with only a little bit of toppling. The sight of the floor far below stiffened her nerves, but no way she was letting Luigi see that. She gave him a determined grin to counter his look of utter horror.

'What are ya looking at me like that for?' Daisy said. 'Come on!'

His eyes darted down, for a millisecond, and still the sheer height made him shiver. Part of him wanted to ask her 'Can you go on without me?'. The rest of him felt shame for even considering such an option.

'Um... b-boy? Could you, uh, make sure I'm safe?'

Polterpup barked in affirmation.

'You'll be fine!' Daisy said. 'Didn't you fall off the top of Tall Tall Mountain and only, like, half die or something? And then you swam into water and got fully healed or... something?'

'That doesn't make me feel any better.'

Luigi began making his way across the surprisingly sturdy - sturdier than the stairs themselves - branch of the massive plant. He stood by the base of the leaf, needing a few seconds to actually step onto it.

'Take your time, sweetie. But I assure you, it'll hold your weight.'

With a gulp, he stepped onto the leaf. It wobbled under his weight, but otherwise held him well. He sucked the vine up into his Poltergust and, taking a deep breath, jumped. He held onto his 'harness' for dear life, trying to swing his dangling legs back and forth.

Daisy reached out for him. 'I'll catch you! I promise.'

It wasn't just her usual love for him that fuelled her decision. The red hand mark on his cheek would haunt her until the end of her days. Polterpup floated behind Luigi and pushed him forward, like a parent at the swing-set. The man in green began to get vertigo, and the dizziness only made him feel worse.

'You promise you'll catch me?' He slurred.

'With my life, babe!'

He mentally counted down to letting go. _Three... two... one-and-a-half... one-and-a-quarter... oh just let go!_

And that's what he did, closing his eyes and praying for the best.

Daisy gasped. 'Oh boy!'

She grabbed him by the straps of the Poltergust and tried to rope him in. Him opening his eyes and flailing around only made her task harder. To say the least, she had not expected him to be _that_ heavy.

'Oh boy...' She grunted. 'Oh, that Poltergust adds a lot...'

Luigi could feel his feet slipping on the glossy leaf. He closed his eyes again and waited. Polterpup, not taking this lying down, lowered his head and pushed him forward by the Poltergust.

Luigi's feet finally met solid ground again. He embraced Daisy like a safety pole, hugging her so tight she could barely breathe.

'Am... am I alive?' He asked.

Daisy, carefully and slowly, unhooked his strong cuddle from her body. 'Yes. You are alive.'

Before he could get his bearings, Polterpup came in and gave him _all_ of the doggy kisses. Luigi giggled, and gently pushed him away.

'Okay okay, boy. I'm good.'

Him and Daisy walked across the second branch, and couldn't be more relieved to be on solid ground again. Luigi knelt down and moved his hands through the moss and grass, as if to assure himself that it was real.

Daisy looked back at the branches, and groaned. 'When I get my hands on that Potter, I swear to Grambi...'

Luigi frowned. _Don't blame Dr Potter. It wasn't his fault..._

'And we have to go through the suites again. Let's hope those Glowing Hibiscuses aren't in the rooms, eh?'

'Uh, y-yeah.'

The next room highly resembled the suite with the glowing flowers - a very similar layout, and the same dim lighting. Except, instead of those pollen-spamming plants, heavy cyan vines grew on the walls and all the furniture. A little workbench with a circular saw resting on it sat in the middle of the room.

The beds and couches looked unusable past the invading pest. And the vines covered up the hardly visible door to the bathroom.

Luigi's arms hung lifelessly. 'Oh no... what do we do now?'

'Now hang on.' Daisy said. 'I think I know what this is.'

She approached the vines covering the door, and looked at them as closely as she could before her vision got blurry. She took note of the subtle purple lines swirling down like spilling paint in a river.

'I've read about this.' She said. 'The_ Hardy Creeper._ Far less annoying than the _Thorny Menace_. No need to found a source or anything obnoxious like that. You just gotta saw right through it.'

'A saw?'

He walked up to the circular saw resting on the table. It had a Strobulb-sensitive light on it, so of course he gave it a flash. It turned on in an instant, not requiring anything to pull or press. It began to cut right through the wooden boards it lay on. Sawdust filled the air, flying everywhere. Luigi clambered away and covered his mouth and nose with his cap, fighting the urge to sneeze.

'Ooh, a mechanical saw is even better!' Daisy said. 'Seems like even Hairy Potter thinks these have grown out of control.'

She picked up the chugging saw, grinning like a horror movie villain. The furniture piqued her interest.

'I'm not the only one tempted to saw right through _everything_, right?'

Luigi put his cap back on and coughed into his hand. 'Not really.'

She pouted. 'Fine then. Ruin my fun.' She paused. 'That was a joke, by the way.'

Wielding that saw like a true weapon, she returned to the blocked-off door and lowered the spinning blade into the vines. She aimed the saw down the left of the door, where the vines were growing from. Though the _Hardy Creeper_ had a tough exterior, the saw cut through them no problem.

It passed through the vines like a hot knife through gravy. She loved the sensation she felt in her arms. No doubt it was the most satisfying part of clearing away weeds.

'Oh yeah!'

Large roots of the vine fell to the floor as she cut them at the base. It took her no time at all to saw through the flora blocking her path. She tossed the saw aside perhaps too causally, and dusted off her hands.

'Alrighty! That was easy.'

Luigi shuddered, but he didn't know why. A shiver shook through all his nerves. His gut told him something horrible was about to happen. And after what got them involved in this hotel mess to begin with, he was not ready to ignore it ever again.

Daisy reached for the door.

'Daisy! Look out!'

She looked at him with an incredulous expression. 'What?'

A wrinkly blue vine burst through the corner, scattering debris everywhere. It lifted its 'head' up like a panicked horse. And it 'looked' straight at Daisy.

The princess jumped. 'Oh my good lord!'

She didn't even have time to turn around. The seemingly sentient vine wrapped itself around her torso like a constrictor, and grasped her tighter than a desperate soul. It kept her arms locked in place.

'DAISY!'

The vine lifted her up and grabbed her even tighter, leaving her legs hanging and her lungs almost entirely empty. She tried to yell out for help, but all that came out was a raspy sigh.

**Author Notes - Can I be honest with you? The Garden Suites may be my least favourite floor in the game. Mind you, I actually like the **_**Boilerworks**_**. If only the Garden Suites had music played almost entirely with a banjo...**

**Before anyone asks, the Ghost Orchid is a real thing. Then again, you've probably Googled it already anyway.**

**Dr Ramos Potter, in addition to being that 'get off my lawn' type of old man, takes inspiration from (and is named after) Pokémon X/Y's Ramos. Notice how he speaks in a very similar manner.**

**I named him 'Ramos Potter' as naming him 'Harry Potter' would be too obvious. ... Said the person who used the names 'Paul Kruller' and 'Gordon Soulfflé'.**

**I find it funnier than I should that when I was looking up the Garden Suites on the Super Mario Wiki, my phone suggested Googling something Harry Potter related. Took me a second to realise why it would suggest that.**

* * *

_Dr Ron Weedly hadn't seen his best friend Dr Ramos Potter in what felt like years, ever since the both of them were twenty-five. Ramos had certainly been getting closer to his plants than his human companions, but this long disappearance was a whole other thing._

_Finally giving up on waiting, Ron decided that he was going to meet up with Ramos in person himself. None of his other colleagues wanted to go, so Ron was by himself. He tracked down his old friend's house... and arrived in complete shock._

_There was barely even a house left anymore. The entire building had been overtaken by plants growing out of every little crack in the wall. He could hear Ramos's crazy laughter and one-sided conversations from the outside._

_'R-Ramos?'_

_Ron couldn't even find the door to the place, let alone get in. He looked around for any sort of entrance for hours until he just gave up._

_No one even bothered looking for Ramos since._


	14. Gone to Potter

**Author Notes - I hate this boss I hate this boss I hate this boss I ha-**

**On the plus side, after this painful level we get to progress to everyone's favourite part of the game - the Paranormal Productions! Which may or may not have a guest star.**

**I give my appreciations to NoxObscurum and TrimusicaDrag00n90 for the favourites/follows!**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN - GONE TO POTTER**

Daisy continued to breathlessly call out the name of the one person who could save her.

'I... I... I don't know what to do!' Luigi cried.

'Arf arf!'

Polterpup nudged at the still-activated saw, pushing it towards him slowly. Luigi's snapped mind got it together.

'Gah, of course! The saw!'

Daisy found herself running out of air, feeling her bones hitting their limit before they would crumble and become mush. She was no longer scared; just angry. Not at Luigi, but at herself.

Luigi grabbed the saw by its handle, noting the symbol of Hellen Gravely's face imprinted on it before running over to the aggressive plant. His sweaty palms helped remind him of why he wore gloves all the time. He sliced through the flora menace, the blade going as fast as his heart. Everything but the saw got blurry, like he couldn't focus on anything else. His mind still blank, he ran only on instinct.

After what felt like an agonisingly long time, the saw finally cut through all the way. The vine lost all life and went limp, unravelling itself from around Daisy. The princess landed on her face, and took as many deep breathes as her dried-up lungs could handle. She coughed violently, both from the scattered dust and her strained lungs. Her cheeks were bright red.

'Oh Grambi...' She muttered between coughs. 'Oh sweet, sweet Grambi...'

Polterpup sat by her side, and gave her little licks to the face. She chuckled, and strained her arm to give him a stroke.

'You're a good boy...'

Luigi tossed the saw away, and let the situation sink in. He watched his princess seizing in pain, unable to stop coughing. His breathing turned sharp and harsh as tears came to his eyes.

_He_ did this.

_It's my fault! It's all my fault!_

And then... he gave up. He sunk to the ground, buried his face in his knees, and proceeded to cry his eyes out. It was all he could do.

Daisy saw this display and gasped. 'Sweetie! What's wrong?'

No answer. She didn't understand it. What did he have to be so sad about? She crawled over to him, making her steps quietly to not stir him up further. Once close enough, she heard him muttering something.

'It's all my fault...'

It took her aback. For _what_? Saving her? She was about ready to laugh at the idea of something so silly.

'What?' She said instead. 'What are you on about?'

'I'm so sorry...'

And there was the apologising again. The guy seemed so frightened to offend. Daisy opened her mouth to press him further, but stopped herself. She sat down, waiting for her plumber to calm down a bit.

Whatever got him acting like this, a good cry was sure to help. After a minute or two, he got the will to look her in the eye. She cringed from looking at his red, watery eyes.

'Sweetie, what's wrong?' She asked in an unusually gentle voice.

He wiped his eyes and sniffed. 'I-I'm so sorry... this is all my fault. If I didn't drop that button...'

She, by accident, chuckled. 'That's what this is all about? Luigi, that's nothing to be-'

'IT WAS MY FAULT!'

She jumped back.

'If I didn't drop that button, we'd be out of here by now! And you... you wouldn't have been caught by that plant...'

He stared at her with those big, sad eyes. Polterpup crawled into his lap, and Luigi cuddled him tight.

Daisy, learning from her mistakes, took her time to think of the right words. It was the one hurdle in their relationship - having to learn how to properly talk to each other.

'Don't beat yourself up over it. It was a mistake. And I doubt I would've held onto it any longer. Remember when I faceplanted during that practise match? And, uh, I think Hairy Potter would've taken it from us anyway.'

Luigi fiddled with the name tag of Polterpup's collar. The random movement and quiet jiggling helped calm him down.

'I know, but...' He said, and sighed. 'But I can't help but think... it's my fault. Because it... is.'

Daisy sighed. 'Nothing I say will convince you otherwise, will it?'

He shook his head. 'I just can't... shake the feeling. I'm so... so... I'm sorry.'

She glanced down at her shoes, when a proverbial lightbulb went off. Giving him a gentle smile, she slowly ran her fingers through his hair. It seemed that, even with those bulky gloves on, this little action never failed to cheer him up.

He smiled. He had no idea why it made him so happy, but why would he complain about that wondering tingling feeling?

'Don't apologise.' Daisy said. 'I understand. But... if you think you've made such a big mistake, how about we go fix it _together_?'

His look of weakness turned to one of determination. 'Yeah. Yeah! We'll get that button back. Together!'

He got to his feet, wiping his eyes one last time. He puffed his chest out and held his fist up high, imitating his beloved brother.

'I'll make my big bro proud!' _If I ever save him..._

Daisy leapt to her feet, a decision she regretted due to her sudden vertigo. 'For Mario!'

'Yip yip!'

* * *

Dr Potter waited until the mortals slipped through the next door to materialise inside that room. The first thing he saw was the activated chainsaw. The very sight of it boiled his ghostly blood.

'GAH! Who allowed that there saw ta enter ma domaine?! I'm sure it was that disrespectful Gravely. And she wanted me ta morph ma family to look like her obsession - BLEGH!'

He picked up the saw and chuckled it into the wall. It smashed into pieces, which was the fate the horrid tool deserved.

'And that's what I think of yeh, Gravely! Tryin' ta hurt ma family tha way yeh do...'

He gasped, seeing the cut up remains of his beloved vines resting on the floor. They curled up and browned as the last bits of their life drained away.

'Oh no...'

The corpses of his brothers and sisters called out to him. He lifted up one of the pieces, and held it close.

'Those mortals... those _heartless_ mortals... slaughterin' ma family like yeh don't matter...' He gritted his teeth. 'I'll kill 'em! I'll make 'em pay fer what they've done!'

* * *

No two rooms in this floor seemed to be alike. They shared a layout, but otherwise seemed to be from different hotels. The bathroom of the ivy suite had, um, several watermelons growing from the walls. Three smaller ones grew in the bath, and a giant one nearly as tall as Daisy blocked a hole in the wall.

They smelled rather succulent, and judging by their polish and size were rather well cared for. Daisy breathed on the grand melon, and polished it with her elbow. She 'ooo'ed at how well it reflected her face; individual hair strands were visible.

'How could such a jerk be such a great gardener?' She wondered out loud. 'I envy his work. It's beautiful...'

Polterpup took a big bite out of one of the melons in the bathtub, finding them to be just as delicious as they looked.

Luigi gently pulled him away by his collar. 'Don't do that, boy. We don't want Dr Potter madder at us than he already is.'

Daisy peered past the giant melon, and saw slivers of the hole behind it. She found herself unable to even stick her hand through it.

'A melon.' She muttered. 'A _melon_ is going to be our downfall.' She turned to Luigi. 'Unless your plunger lift this beast.'

The plumber placed his dog down. 'Um, it might. I might need a little help though.'

'Say no more!'

Luigi fired out a plunger onto the giant melon's polished surface. Despite the slight curve, the plunger stuck on just like it would for any flat surface. To his lack of shock, no matter how hard he pulled on the rope the melon didn't move an inch.

'Hang on.' Daisy said, grabbing onto the rope and giving him a smile. 'Just like with the...' She shuddered. 'The piano, huh?'

'Uh, yeah.'

'Alright. Three, two, HEY!'

Luigi did not remember that number. Either way, both yanked on the rope at the same time, causing the juicy fruit to go flying over their shoulders and smash into the melons in the bathtub. It broke apart into several, much more manageable pieces. Polterpup yipped in absolute joy, and devoured all the pieces in one gulp each.

Daisy chuckled. 'So much for not angering Hairy more.'

Luigi gulped. 'He is gonna kill us.'

The princess walked through the hole, glancing up at just how close they were getting. 'Not unless we kill him first.'

The plumber followed her out. 'Uh, but he's a gh-'

'I know that!'

Luigi got to feel a little of relief. After all, they only had another storey to go. The relief vanished when he saw that the stairs to the other side of the tower had already been destroyed by that plant.

'Maybe Dr Potter has a point.' He said. 'These plants are out for us.'

Daisy shook her head. 'That's just how he grew them. ... I hope.'

Though the higher up floor on the other side was perfectly intact - the insane amounts of blue moss aside - they had seemingly no way of actually getting to it.

'Welp.' Daisy said. 'Roll the end credits!'

'Roll the what?'

'You got any ideas?'

'I'm running out.'

While the two mortals discussed possible ways to continue, mostly consisting of Daisy being thrown somehow, Polterpup noticed something about the floorboards they stood on.

'And then you shoot me from the Poltergust!'

'It's... not strong enough for that. It can only launch small objects.'

'Are you implying something?'

'Um... what? You're taller than me.'

They didn't look especially stable. In fact, he bet that a strong enough push could easily turn them into extreme seesaws.

Actually...

Quite a shame even his owner couldn't fully understand his adorable barking. Oh well. He positioned himself in front of Daisy, neither mortal noticing him.

'Maybe you could charge up a bunch of bursts, and then unleash them by side-stepping off the ledge!'

'The Poltergust isn't F.L.U.D.D. with a rocket nozzle. Even if they were both made by the professor.'

'Exactly! So maybe they have a similar mechanic!'

'I don't think the super-rocket-thing was an intended feature.'

Polterpup jumped up and slammed his belly into one end of the floorboard. The other side flung up -

'WAAAHHH!'

And launched Daisy across the room. Her limbs flailed in a comedic fashion as she soared through the air.

It took until halfway through her trajectory for Luigi to comprehend what was going on. 'AH!'

***THUD***

Daisy crashed into the floor on the other side face-first, stuck in a rather unflattering position with her rear in the air. Luigi stared with his mouth agape, before beginning to laugh. Not necessarily _at_ her, I'll add.

'Are you okay?'

Daisy got up, and shook dirt off her face. 'Too many toasters...' She glanced at her arms. 'Think the gloves took most of the shock.'

Luigi sighed in relief. Polterpup took that as his cue to jump onto the floorboard his owner stood on, putting a bit more force into it to account for the weight of the Poltergust.

Just like before, Luigi went soaring just like Team Rocket.

'OH M-M-M-MAMMA!'

And Daisy had to deal with him flying at her now.

'Hang on sweetie! I'll catch you!'

She severely underestimated his velocity. She also severely _over_estimated her ability to stand her ground. After all, her strength was in her hands, not her feet. Luigi crashed into her arms, and while she did manage to _not_ slam into the back wall, the force of him flying into her knocked the both of them to the floor.

'Ooh...'

'Owie...'

Give her credit, she had managed to catch him, just like she said she would. Polterpup waltzed across the air, with the most smug way of walking you can imagine. He hung his head up with so much pride.

'Oh, so you think you're a clever one, huh?' Daisy said. 'You think it's funny to send us flying?'

Luigi blushed, realising his position. 'Well, uh, it did get us across.'

'I suppose. But I want him to warn us next time. Understand, Poltiepup?'

'Arf arf!'

* * *

Dr Potter watched the mortals and their masterful stunt from up above, hidden among the greenery. To say the least, his intruders had not gotten any better in his eyes.

'Blast it!' He yelled, slamming his fist into the brick work. 'Them whippersnappers ain't leavin' ma family alone, are they?'

He had a guest next to him, watching the intruders too. It was none other than Audrey, his actually sentient venus flytrap friend. She snarled at the mortals like a dog, and slobber fell from her mouth and dripped onto the princess's head. The princess didn't seem to think much of it.

'Woof woof woof!' Audrey barked angrily.

'Darn tootin' yer right! They just want ta destroy ev'ryone o' us. I don't doubt they'll go after yeh next!'

Audrey whimpered. Dr Potter patted her head, making her purr like a cat.

'Don't worry. I won't let them get near yeh. I'll die a second time before I let them hurt yeh!'

The mortals and their mangy mutt made their way up the next set of stairs, causing the little spiders hiding in the tall grass to scatter away from them.

'Woof woof! Woof woof woof!'

'Ah, good idea Audrey!'

* * *

'If I may, can I say that Hairy managed to make a _garden_ my least favourite part of this hotel so far?'

'Wait, you liked the castle more? Compared to being _squished_, the worst part of this garden was those flowers I was allergic to.'

'Actually, now that you mention it... yeah, we're never gonna get worse than that stupid dungeon. But still? Hairy made me hate a garden.'

'Is it just because our date went bad?'

'That, and about a hundred other things!'

Luigi and Daisy conversed with each other as they walked up the stairs while Polterpup followed behind, feeling just a little left out due to his inability to properly join in on a conversation.

The little talk boosted both their spirits. It made Luigi seriously wonder how on Earth he managed to get through the first couple ghostbusting adventures without her, or anyone else for that matter.

'Like what?' He asked, already knowing but just wanting to hear her rant some more.

'Well, let's see... kidnapping all of my friends, kidnapping _me_, nearly kidnapping _you_, trying to kill us on multiple occasions, freeing King Boo, further traumatising _all_ of us...'

He glanced away from her mid-conversation, something most people would consider rude but she saw as no reason to stop talking. Though he still listened to her every word, his visual attention was more on the path to go.

'... making Wolfgeist think his daughter was in danger, pinning that annoying freaking cat on us, not simply opening this place to the public and removing all the traps to reap the benefits...'

With another flight of stairs cleared, they only had one more to go. The stalk's giant petals practically touched the top of that set of stairs. He sighed in relief... nearly done.

Well, considering how far into this chapter we are... yeah.

'We're nearly there.' He said.

'Oh thank Grambi.' Her smile faded, and she groaned. 'Cue Hairy popping in with his stupid can in three, two...'

Right on cue! The floating watering can appeared with Dr Potter's laugh, and proceeded to fly underneath the platform they currently stood on.

'Oh lord, what is he doing _now_?' Daisy whined.

Luigi heard the sound of water trickling out of the can, and the moment that sound stopped he felt vibrations from down below.

'Oh no...'

'What?'

'I think we should run!'

His instinct told him to run back down the stairs, as dangerous as that seemed. Daisy, not in the position to question things, ran down the stairs right behind him.

Another branch - more like another whole _tree_ \- sprouted up right where they were standing a mere second ago, tearing through the floor like it wasn't even there.

The vibrations didn't stop. A second one shot up behind them, barely missing Luigi but throwing off his balance.

'Oh come on!' Daisy yelled, as she ran past Luigi without really thinking about it.

She reached the end and jumped to the right while he was only halfway down.

'Faster Luigi!' She yelled, to little help.

'YIP YIP!'

A third tree grew, but this time he wasn't so lucky. As it pierced the wood and grew up, it knocked against his Poltergust. Combined with the last one throwing his balance off, he tripped and fell down the stairs.

'LUIGI!'

He slammed into the floor stomach-first but kept going, bouncing back up into the air. He crashed into the wall Poltergust first, and fell onto his rear.

'Owie...'

Thankfully, the Poltergust took most of the impact this time. Daisy and Polterpup sighed in relief.

'You're alright!' Daisy said, going in for a gentle but loving hug.

He blushed from the sudden intimate contact, but he appreciated it none the less.

It seemed the wall that he had just crashed into wasn't exactly strong, as the stone work broke apart into pieces and fell to the floor. It revealed the wooden boards, which were covered in moss and looked about ready to break.

Daisy tapped the wood planks lightly, and they fell apart immediately. It left a hole more than big enough for them to walk through.

'Welp.' She said. 'We can manage one more detour.'

Luigi took the moments of him sitting on the floor to mentally disagree with her. He could feel the stress mounting. Every little detour piled on top of each other, and he wasn't quite sure how much more he could take.

When he stepped through the hole after Daisy, he forgot all about his stress, if only temporarily.

'Wow...'

It was the biggest room in the entire floor, excluding the atrium, thanks to being two storeys with a big hole connecting them. Moss covered the walls and floor, revealing little of the stone beneath. Blue vines grew around the dilapidated bed.

The room was dim, with little light provided by many big glowing mushrooms growing out the walls and floor. They came in various colours, mostly pink, light green, and deep blue. They emitted a dim light of their respective colour.

Combined with the misty aroma, it felt like Luigi had walked right into a relaxing night-time forest. It reminded him of that one area from _Pokémon Sword_ \- as disappointing as he found the game to be, he loved that area.

His eyes began to sting again. Oh great, those Glowing Hibiscuses were back, but fortunately in much smaller numbers. Only a couple of them grew, peeking out of the closet covered by more vines.

'Hey Luigi?'

'Hm?'

'Want a fun fact about mushrooms?'

'Ooh, yeah!'

Daisy knelt at a pair of non-glowing mushrooms growing out of a pile of moss. They were the one thing - other than ghostbusting - they were both experts in.

'Did you know that mushrooms aren't actually plants?'

His eyes widened. 'Really?'

'Yep! Fungi have their own kingdom, seperate from the plants. Pretty cool, huh?'

'Yeah...'

'Yip yip yip!'

Polterpup floated up to the ceiling of the bottom room - which, frankly, was big enough to be two rooms itself - and through the sizeable hole. He barked, signalling for his friends to follow him.

'And once again,' Daisy said. 'Polterpup forgets we can't fly.'

'We're just stuck in this situation again.' Luigi added.

Daisy looked around the room, for any sort of way to get up there. She noticed one of the glowing mushrooms, a pink one, had not been growing in the floor but instead a wagon. She approached the mushroom, and rubbed her hands across the surface. It moved up and down like a trampoline.

'Aha! I was right!' She announced, to Luigi's surprise. 'An old friend of mine grew a few of these. _Trampoline Caps_, she called them. Inedible, but very pretty. And very well named. Observe.'

Grabbing the wagon by its handle, she pulled it away from the wall and placed it right underneath the hole. As a quick precaution, she put little bits of rubble around its wheels so it couldn't roll away.

She, in one step, got from the floor to on top of the mushroom cap. Just like her old friend had told her, it held her weight just fine.

'Then all you have to do is jump, and the mushroom does the rest!'

And that's what she did. She jumped in place, and the elasticity of the cap sprung her into the air. _Way_ into the air. High enough that Luigi couldn't even see her anymore.

'D-Daisy?!'

She fell back down to the bottom floor, and the cap launched her into the air again. And again.

'ComeonLuigi!' _*BOING*_ 'It'sreallyfun-' _*BOING*_ 'Anditgetsyou-' _*BOING*_ 'Tothenextfloor!'

Then she disappeared for good, landing on the top floor. Luigi looked straight up through the hole, falling onto his rear in the process. Daisy waved at him from above.

'Just get on the cap and burst!' She said. 'Polterpup and I will be here to catch you.'

He gulped. After what MacFrights did to him, he did not feel like falling again. Seeing no other option however, he climbed onto the wagon and then the mushroom. With _great_ difficulty.

'So, if I do the burst thing, it'll bounce me up there?'

'Yep! Trust me, it's fun.'

Yeah, for a thrill seeker maybe. Luigi grabbed the Poltergust and put his hand over the two buttons. Actually pressing them was the hard part. Three, two, one... press!

'Whoa-ho!'

He fell back onto the mushroom, and... it worked! He was soaring up into the air, and found himself eye-to-eye with his princess on the upper floor.

'See?' She said.

Then he became a victim to gravity and plummeted down again. And then bounced into the air again. And then, well, you can guess. And all that up-and-down movement was beginning to make him feel horribly dizzy.

Where was up anymore?

'Alright Polter... grab the Polt... Luigi himse...' Was all he could hear.

Something grabbed his shirt, and his Poltergust. At least, he was sure something like that happened. He certainly didn't feel himself coming to a stop.

'Alright, let's reel him in.'

Daisy and Polterpup pulled him along until his feet touched solid ground. They let go of him, and he immediately fell onto his knees and hands.

'Oh!' Daisy exclaimed. 'Are you alright?'

If he had anything in his stomach, he'd be puking it out. Heck, he was very close to puking out the stomach itself.

'Are you _alright_?'

'Uh... yeah. Y-Yeah. Just give me a moment...'

Once the world stopped being jelly, he could see that he had indeed made it to the upper floor. No vines this time, but there was a bed covered in ivy. Despite sitting right on the edge of the hole, it seemed perfectly stable. Next to that was a hammock, swaying slightly for no clear reason. In the corner, a bunch of tools rested on a cork board along with many pots stacked on shelves. Next to the shelves was the way out.

'It kinda looks like this is Dr Potter's room.' He said.

'In that case,' Daisy said, helping him off the ground. 'Let's destroy it.'

'Let's not.'

'Right. He's peeved off enough as is. Let's just get the button and get out of this hellhole.'

Before they could get to the door, Polterpup got between it and them. He growled and snarled at something that stood at the door, something invisible to the mortal eye.

'Don't worry, Polterpup.' Daisy said. 'I got this.'

Bravery to some, stupidity to others. She reached her arm out to grab whatever the mutt was yapping out, only to find herself unable to move her arm any further. At all.

Something had wrapped itself around her wrist, like a small but thick vine. It definitely wasn't a vine, as it felt wet. What she guessed was saliva soaked her skin. She tried to yank her hand back, but whatever had grabbed her held her tight.

'Uh... little help here?'

Luigi grabbed his flashlight, with the intent of Dark-Lighting the mysterious being, but found _himself_ unable to step again. Or move his legs for that matter. It felt like a wet rope had been wrapped around his legs, keeping them together to make a kidnapping easier.

There was nothing worse than a threat preventing him from moving.

The sticky rope around his legs pulled his feet forward out from under him, sending him crashing to the floor.

The being who had them roped up revealed itself, its transparent skin appearing with a reddish-orange light. Unsurprisingly, it was ghost, but a new kind. And, unlike the Slinker, was not one Luigi was somewhat familiar with.

She resembled a pile of orange goo, a pile mostly consisting of a mouth. The most notable part were her _two_ long blue tongues, one wrapped around Daisy's wrist and the other Luigi's legs.

Immediately Luigi gagged. As if the tear wasn't bad enough, now he faced a ghost drooling all over his overalls.

'I can assure you.' Daisy said, still trying to pull away. 'Humans taste absolutely awful.'

Luigi did a double-take. _How_ did she know that?!

'I disagree.' The Trapper said, rather incoherently. 'Humans are delicious! Clothing and all. Even ones that smell as awful as you two.'

Luigi shuddered; getting eaten by a ghost was not exactly high on his bucket list. He wiped his brow with the back of his hand. Wait a minute... He looked at his hand with mild shock.

He grinned. It had seemed that, despite being clever enough to ambush them at a door and prevent Daisy from using the gloves, the Trapper forgot to secure his hands. So, he grabbed his flashlight and beamed the Trapper right in her face. The Strobulb left her dazzled, and she released her grasp on her victims.

Daisy grabbed onto the tongue that had her wrist, and yanked on it. The Trapper, even in her stunned state, remained firm in her spot. Luigi got up, and used his Poltergust to grab the other tongue. Because quite frankly, even if he could touch ghosts like Daisy could, he would never touch a ghost's tongue.

'Hey!' The Trapper yelled. 'I need those to taste your delicious flesh! All I'm tasting is metal and dust.'

Unsurprisingly, they didn't listen to a ghost who ten seconds ago tried to eat them. With one simultaneous pull, they slammed her into the floor and made her particles scatter and dissipate.

'And that's what ya get!' Daisy yelled, before turning to Luigi. 'Have you ever seen ghosts like _that_ before?'

He scratched his head. 'Uh, no. The closest I think were the Creepers, but even then they were completely different.'

Daisy put her hand on her chin, and made that grin one usually makes before a stupid joke.

'Sooo, that means there are five ghost types in this hotel, right? Excluding the big guys, obviously.'

'Uh, so far. Why do you ask?'

That cheeky grin just grew.

'Since I don't think they have names yet, allow _me_ to name them. The blue guys who come in the dozens are Goobs. The hiding ones are Hiders-'

'Hiders is already taken.'

'Ah, crud. Um... the big red guys are Hammers. The hiding ones are, er, Oozers. The sneaky ones are Slinkers. And that jerk was a Trapper.'

Well, those are the names I've been using this whole time. Turns out that I wasn't the one who came up with them.

Luigi pondered those names, knowing she named them that for a reason. 'Goobs... Hammers... Ooz-' He paused, and chuckled. 'It spells ghost!'

She winked his way. 'Nothing gets by you.'

With the Trapper taken care of, the trio walked through the door and... there it was. The plant they had spent all this time trying to reach stood right in front of them. Though the walkway they stood on was nothing but a balcony, the plant's giant leaves extended all the way to their tiny platform.

Daisy sighed the biggest sigh of relief you will ever hear. 'Oh thank lady Rosalina! We're nearly done!'

She ran over to the big flytrap and Polterpup made loops around it, while Luigi stood there and let it sink in. The plant that had given them so much trouble now lay in front of him. If only he didn't drop the... no. No time to be thinking like that.

Daisy got her hands in between the hulking jaws of the beast, but no matter how much she struggled they would not open.

'We're gonna need a little more power here!' She said.

Luigi nodded, and stepped onto the leaf that served as a bridge. His nerves almost stopped him, but he wasn't going to let nerves ruin it for him now.

'You think a plunger would open it up?' He asked.

'Any extra power would help.'

He fired a plunger onto one of the jaws, and pulled back. The plant looked like it was trying to open up, but some sort of lock prevented it from doing so. So, he yanked the plunger a few more times, which did good for his already peaking stress levels.

'If I had a plunger-firing thing,' Daisy said. 'I'd go for the second jaw myself. But I-'

'Gooigi!'

She blinked. 'That works too.'

For the first time in a while, he deployed Gooigi. He moved his gooey counterpart over to the other side and fired another plunger, this one the same translucent green as the rest of him. He grabbed it and pulled backwards.

'So, how are you supposed to plunger it at once?' Daisy asked.

Gooigi spent no time thinking about it. Somehow, he already knew both Weegees would act at once. He didn't know how he knew this, and nor did he care.

'I'm putting my might into it.' Daisy said. 'You ready?'

'_Yep_.'

'Now... pull!'

Both Luigi and Gooigi pulled on their plungers at once. Like a crowbar on a chest, it pulled the jaws wide open until they collapsed. The button flew out of its trap, and into the air...

And bonked off an unconscious Luigi's head. It rolled on the curved leaves, getting frighteningly close to the edge.

'Oh no!' Luigi yelled, finding himself back in his original body. 'Oh no no no...!'

'AH! Get the button!' Daisy cried. 'Get the freaking button!'

All three members of the trio ran for the button with their arms and paws out, in a manner that resembled a ridiculous comedy movie. But, regardless of how many desperate people ran to grab it, the button still rolled off the edge.

Luigi reached for it as it plummeted, as if he had force powers. 'Noooo-ho-ho!'

Polterpup would've dove after it, but what was the point? It was nearly on the ground, and they'd have to get back down anyway.

The button plinked against the floor, the only thing visible from that distance being its dim glow. Luigi pouted, but Daisy stood by his side with far too much serenity. Her face was blank, but her twitching eyes burned with rage.

'Um... Daisy? Y-You okay?'

She clenched her fists, and bared her teeth like an aggressive dog.

_**'**__**OH COME ON!**__**'**_

* * *

Suddenly, all the way down in the boilerworks beneath the basement, a sleeping redneck mechanical arose from his nap.

'Eh?' He lifted his cap and looked around. 'Wha' in tarnation was that?'

Well, he couldn't see anything. So, no problem. He rested his head back on his duck floaty, hoping to get in some more nap-time before his twin sister arrived and ruined everything.

* * *

Welp, Luigi was not recovering from that for a long, long time. Polterpup was probably in Honeylune at this point.

Daisy sighed in relief for a few good seconds. 'So...' She said, overly serene once again. 'How do we get back down?'

Luigi looked at her with his traumatised eyes. Somehow, her serenity managed to scare him just as much as her scream.

'I... I don't know.' He replied without really thinking about it.

Daisy huffed. 'Brilliant. So now we're up _here_, while the button's down _there_.' She groaned. 'Oh for f-'

She got interrupted by the last sound you'd ever want to hear when on the top of a giant plant: a creaking branch, or in this case, a creaking leaf. And the giant leaf they were on was definitely beginning to droop.

Their nerves went stiff as a horrible realisation sunk into them.

'We're gonna fall, aren't we?' Daisy said.

'Y-Y-Yep.'

The leaf gave out completely, sending the couple plunging. Screams filled the air...

And stopped after a few seconds. The heroes' plunge came to an abrupt finish. They had only fallen a few feet, when a vine that wrapped around the stem all the way down caught them.

Daisy sat on it, as if she were using it as a balcony of sorts. Luigi had his hands and feet planted firmly on it. They both smiled, and then ceased doing so upon seeing that the vine wasn't flat. It ramped downwards, and continued to travel down as it wrapped the stem into its grasp.

And it was a pretty slippery vine to boot.

Luigi felt his body getting dragged down, and tried to dig his fingers in like a cat about to fall into a lake. He reached out for Daisy, his other limbs instinctively clamping onto his slippery platform. It didn't help at all, seeing as she was beginning to slide down too.

The both of them picked up speed fast. What would look like a funny scene to any outsider was certainly not comedic to them, hurtling down a circling slide, screaming your lungs out as the outside world turns to blurs.

Luigi didn't want to look, and closed his eyes. The air rushing past his cheeks and Daisy's distressed screaming did enough. He couldn't even tell if he was still on the vine anymore.

'Luigi! Look out!'

He opened his eyes, just as the vine dropped him off.

***THUD***

And he hit the floor in the same manner of a beanbag being chucked at cement, and he felt like his guts spilled out like a torn beanbag to boot.

Daisy dug her gloved hands into the trunk of the plant, slowing her own descent down just a bit. Her landing was less rough than Luigi's, though not by much.

'Oof...' She muttered. 'You okay, sweetie?'

Luigi lifted himself off the ground, his limbs just a little achy. Compared to what MacFrights did to him, this was nothing.

'Relatively speaking, yeah.'

Polterpup descended from wherever he had been, now sure it wasn't thunder he heard, and gave his owner an affectionate lick to the face.

'Thanks, boy.'

The doggy's kisses always seemed to rejuvenate him, with or without the magic of a golden bone.

'Oh my Grambi, there's the button!' Daisy announced, springing to her feet and ignoring the immediate lightheadedness.

The button lay in the middle of the room, and Daisy was gonna get that button into the elevator even if it killed her. She ran over to it, and yanked it up before anything else could happen to it.

She stared at the button longingly, like it was a childhood toy she hadn't seen in years. Its glow and the big '8' on it beckoned her.

'Daisy! Look out!'

She glanced up from her precious button, only to get a face full of scraggly plant skin and two rows of sharp yellow teeth. The flytrap's glowing eyes stared directly into hers, roaring and splattering plant slobber all over her.

'Eep!'

Where it came from was beyond her, and the sudden sight of it made her jump back while flailing like a beached Magikarp. The button went flying out of her hand, and the flytrap snatched it up clean out of the sky.

'Gah!'

The flytrap withdrew itself back to its friend, who happened to be a very angry looking Dr Potter. He took the button out of its jaw, and tucked it away in his pocket.

'Yer a good girl, Audrey!' He said, stroking her neck, or whatever it was. 'Teachin' them whippersnappers what fer!'

Daisy threw up her arms in exasperation, groaning both because of him and herself. 'Are you serious?!'

'Yeh can only blame yerself for that one, young lady. Sweet little Audrey only took advantage of yeh. And we're nod very happy about yeh murderin' our family!'

'If you just gave us that stupid button, we'd be out of here by now!'

Both gardeners looked at each other with such hatred. Luigi couldn't stand it. He'd hoped two people with such similar interests would get along better than this.

'Ged her, Audrey!'

'Woof woof woof!'

The flytrap opened her jaws as widely as they would go, and lunged teeth first at Daisy like a glove on a spring.

'Whoa nelly!' Daisy said.

The princess jumped out of the way, her feet skidding on the mossy rocks. Audrey missed her only by a few inches, but kept going until her vine body couldn't be stretched anymore. Her jaws got stuck on a pile of rubble that rested at the foot of the stalk. She pulled away bit by bit, making sure she didn't break her own teeth.

'Com'on Audrey!' Dr Potter said, pulling on her pot home. 'Yer better than that!'

He yanked her back in, with enough force to dislodge the rubble and make it scatter. Underneath where it stood was another saw, already activated and ready for use.

'Woof woof!'

'That's right, Audrey. Yeh haven't had a fresh meal since those two Bubblainians! And these humans look like they'll be a lot more fillin'.'

Luigi shivered, his knees about as stable as a late-game Jenga tower. As if the flytraps in the Haunted Towers weren't scary enough...

Dr Potter noticed the shaky little boy. 'This ain't between us, yeh green lad! Yeh can stay outta this. Yeh at least seem a li'l remorseful fer yer plant killin'. It's just between me and that murderin' missy!'

Daisy's hands went to her hips. 'Oh, so _I'm_ the murderer here? Sure, let's just ignore the crazy amount of times you and your plants almost killed _us_!'

'I beg yer pardon? Ma plants were just tryin' ta defend themselves from yeh!'

Luigi didn't know who to root for. Obviously, he wanted Daisy to win, but he didn't want Dr Potter to lose. Even if the guy was utter bonkers, he was just defending his family.

'D-Daisy...' He stammered. 'M-Maybe we could just talk it-'

'Talk it out with this guy?' Daisy said, keeping her eyes on the plant. 'Have fun with that. Meanwhile, I'll be fighting for my life.'

Audrey raised her head up high and cranked her jaws open. She had pushed her stem to its limits, towering over Daisy. The princess looked straight up, seeing a bottomless mouth and razor teeth above her.

She narrowed her eyes, and jumped to the side. Audrey lunged downwards, her jaws open at 180 degrees as she chomped at the floor. Somehow, her head stayed together in spite of the harsh angle.

Lifting her head off the ground, she spat out bits of rock and grass. She sniffed around, and spotted the princess approaching Dr Potter with flexed knuckles.

Dr Potter floated backwards slowly, unable to hold his hands up due to carrying the flytrap's pot. Compared to the angry old man who constantly made things miserable for the heroes, he looked even wimpier now.

'What are yeh doin', missy? I've seen what yeh do ta ma plants. Don't tell me yer thinkin' o' doin' the same thing ta me!'

Daisy snarled. 'After what you've done to _me_? Yeah, pretty much.'

Audrey gasped. How dare this mortal threaten her best friend! She lowered her head, and charged forward like a bull. By the time Daisy saw the flytrap in her point of view, it bashed into her with its forehead.

'Oof!'

'Margherita!'

The impact sent her flying into a bench. It knocked the air right out of her and gave her nasty whiplash. She lost her placement in the world.

'Fraid it won't be that easy, missy!' Dr Potter declared, patting his friend. 'Audrey don't like it when someone tries ta hurt me. Yeh wanna know how many dresses o' Gravely have flytrap bite marks in 'em?'

Daisy rubbed the back of her head, slowly getting her bearings. Even with the pain taking over her body, she still had the energy to glare at the elderly ghost.

'No, but do you wanna know how many ghosts I've punched in the face?'

This snarky remark made Audrey scream out an angry roar that echoed through the entire atrium.

Dr Potter glared at her. 'Now look at what yeh've done. Yeh've angered Audrey! Yeh don't deserve ta wear those pretty jewel flowers on yer outfit.'

'Oh, for... my name is Princess _Daisy_! Get that through your thick hairy skull!'

She got to her feet, and took on a fighting stance that Little Mac would be proud of, beckoning the flytrap to attack her.

Audrey answered her call, and snapped at her like a dog unexpectedly biting a stranger. Daisy jumped back with a look of shock on her face, avoiding the jaws with nothing but a fight-or-flight response.

Luigi took a step forward. 'Daisy! What should I-?'

'You should stay out of this!' Daisy yelled back, more angrily than intended. 'Hairy himself even said - whoa! - that it's just between me and him.'

The man in green watched his princess dodge the mouth of the flora beast, getting closer and closer to the jaws of death each time. He stood still, barely noticed, in his spot, grasping his flashlight tight.

_I can't do nothing! But what can I do?_

'Arf! Arf arf!'

Polterpup, like before, pointed to the saw resting at the base of the behemoth stalk, its blade not sharp enough to pierce the thick stem. Luigi quickly understood what his pet was thinking of.

'What? I can't do that! That plant is Dr Potter's friend...'

It took him all of two seconds to wonder if he should've been even considering that line of thinking. An enemy of his friend was _his_ enemy, surely.

Daisy jumped to the side again, forced into a game of perpetual dodging. The way Audrey so fiercely guarded the old ghost gave her no room to actually attack. Thank Grambi she had a great air capacity, but she knew that even _her_ lungs had a limit.

'I suggest yeh just give up now.' Dr Potter said. 'Audrey won't give up on a meal til she's chomped it ta pieces. Especially if that meal has slaughtered her kind.'

Daisy groaned. 'Look, I love plants too, but I wouldn't say I've murdered them.'

'Then yeh simply don't like plants as much as yeh claim!'

She gritted her teeth and her face turned red. She couldn't believe him! Her blood boiled. With everything he had done to her, his insistence that her passion didn't exist was the baby that broke the Yoshi's back.

'Alright! THAT'S IT!' She shouted. 'You're going DOWN!'

She charged for Dr Potter with her arms out, fully intending to give him a new face. And with how bright the lights on the gloves were, it seemed like a likely possibility.

Her reign ended before it began, mere centimetres away from his face. Audrey grabbed her whole body and clamped her jaws over her. In that moment, Daisy's heart stopped. Luigi's did too.

'Nah, missy.' Dr Potter said. 'It will be yeh that'll be goin' down... down Audrey's throat!'

The flytrap lifted her into the air, holding her like a hotdog in a toothy bun. Only her head and limbs stuck out.

'Oh, did I mention that it takes a while fer Audrey ta digest her meals? It takes a few days till her prey loses consciousness.'

'Thanks for the factoid!'

Polterpup barked like crazy, dancing around the saw. Now Luigi had to act! No matter how much he may have cared about that plant, his true friends took priority. He rushed over to that saw, and picked it right up.

He did not feel right wielding the deadly tool.

Daisy reached her barely-free arms out, and with great struggle grabbed the flytrap's stem and stretched it between her arms. Not keen to wait for her rescue again, she sunk her teeth deep into the stem.

Audrey cried out in pain, and dropped her in an instant. Daisy landed on her hands and knees, and took no time getting back up. The flytrap whimpered like a lost little puppy dog, unable to nurse her own wound due to the sheer size of her head.

'GAH, look at yerself!' Dr Potter cried. 'Carelessly bitin' the plants yeh claim ta care about!'

Audrey glared at the orange-clad mortal, her blank eyes now filled with more rage than ever. She barked into the air, as if belting out an epic battle cry, and launched at Daisy with her jaws open like a crocodile.

Just as Daisy had planned.

The flytrap's attempted jab at a meal came to a dead stop. Daisy stood her ground, holding the jaws wide with her powered-up gloves like a car-jack. She could feel Audrey trying to escape her grip, to no avail.

Dr Potter pulled on the pot as hard as he could, but a ghost at his age only had so much strength to work with.

'That saw would be really nice right about now, Luigi!'

'Oh! R-Right.'

With the saw in hand, he approached the middle of the outstretched vine. He only got the axe an inch above the stem before he hesitated. Did he really have to do it?

'Um... Dr Potter?' He said, speaking just loudly enough so he could be heard over the saw. 'Maybe we can just talk this out?'

Daisy rolled her eyes. Since when had diplomacy worked out for him during this entire 'vacation'? Chambrea? Never listened. Kruller? So close, yet so far. Soulfflé? Not even close. MacFrights? Luigi barely even tried. Only Amadeus was even a little close, and even then only _after_ the fight.

Dr Potter responded as she expected. 'Heh! I don't associate with murderers!'

With a sigh, Luigi knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes, and lowered the saw through the stem. The distinct sound of a saw cutting through greenery filled his ears. Another sound accompanied it.

'No... no!' Dr Potter pleaded. 'How dare yeh even consider sawin' ma best friend!'

'Ignore him, Luigi!' Daisy countered, her voice slightly strained. 'Just cut the stupid plant!'

He knew that the moment the saw went straight through that the deed had been done. Daring to open his eyes, he tossed the weapon aside.

'NOOOOO!' Dr Potter cried.

Daisy let go of the flytrap and tossed her to the floor. Audrey's disembodied head unleashed one last dying cry, before the light in her eyes vanished. She went limp like a cat at its last vet appointment.

'Audrey!'

Luigi stumbled backwards with wide eyes, and tumbled backwards onto the floor. He broke into a cold sweat as he watched the life drain away from the plant in front of him.

_I did that. I killed her. How... how could I do that?_

Dr Potter threw his pot away, and knelt by the remains of his best friend. He rubbed her face, trying to assure himself there was still life in her closed eyes.

'Ged up, Audrey. Yeh'll be fine. Just look at me. Please, wake up...'

The roughness and impatience in his voice seemed like a distance memory now. That was all gone. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

Luigi turned away, his emotional state no better. Daisy cringed as the old ghost's weeping filled the silent air. She began to wonder if she really was right. Polterpup sniffed the flytrap head, noting its lifeless scent. Dr Potter didn't care about him at all anymore.

'I never thought I'd lose yeh...'

With a forlorn sigh, he looked up. He looked so different now, despite his appearance hardly changing.

'Young green man...'

Luigi jumped around, and wiped his eyes. 'Y-Yeah?'

'Capture me, please. In that newfangled vacuum of yers. I'd prefer to rejoin ma ghost friends... for once.'

Daisy wanted to scream out the word 'WHAT' at the top of her lungs, but nothing in her body did what she wanted it to.

'U-Uh...?' Luigi stuttered. 'O-Okay. You... you mean it? I-If you want...'

'Don't even bother with yer flashlight.'

Luigi stared at him, his blank expression not showing his several conflicting emotions. But who was he to deny a sad ghost's wishes?

_He'll be happier with his ghost friends_, Luigi told himself.

One press of the suck button, and Dr Potter was dragged in. Luigi could feel absolutely no struggle. With how much they fought to get here, it almost felt like an anticlimax.

The eighth button came tumbling out of the nozzle, as weakly as its possessor went in. Luigi didn't celebrate. He didn't feel like it. Neither did Polterpup, who kept nudging Audrey's head in case she sprang to life.

'S-So...' Luigi said. 'W-What do we do now?'

Daisy picked up the button and held it tight, so tight that if it weren't for the gloves her hands would turn white.

'We make sure Audrey's death wasn't for nothing, that's for sure.'

She took one last look at the atrium, finding herself appreciating the place a bit more now. No doubt she'd come back here after all this insanity was over.

'D-Daisy?'

'She died so we could get this button, right? Then let's use the button and save our friends.'

She bashed the double doors wide open, and charged off with the button in hand. Luigi simply wanted to forget this entire floor, and so went after her.

Polterpup was about to go along with them, but his keen eyes picked up something shiny laying in the corner of the room. Hey, that was Dr Potter's watering can. He wasn't sure if it would work, but still he picked up that can and sprinkled it over the bare pot that Audrey used to call her home. A little sprout grew out of it.

It didn't smell quite like Audrey though. Hm...

Audrey ll!

* * *

_**DR POTTER, THE LONELY BOTANIST**_

_AGE - 85_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Old age_

_Dr Ramos Potter was so obsessed with plants in his life, he had practically no humans around him. No one wanted to hang out with him. So, he died alone, surrounded by plants he thought were sentient. Though he has friends as a ghost, he still prefers the company of his flora._

* * *

**Author Notes - ****It's come to my attention that the Mario fanfiction page does not have a character filter for Polterkitty. That's disappointing. I had plans.**

**Since both Daisy and Dr Potter like plants, I knew I had to do something with this. I had some ideas, like them actually being friends. But then I found the idea of them hating each other despite sharing interests to be more interesting.**

**The idea of Dr Potter being insane and convinced his plants are sapient was always a thing, but slowly I ended up making him genuinely see his plants as his family. I managed to make even Dr Potter somewhat sympathetic.**

* * *

_'Keep them out... keep them out... keep them out! We... we don't need no people intrudin' in on our family! They can't be trusted... they can't be trusted! They'll tear right through all o' us if we let 'em!'_

_Dr Potter had secluded himself for... how long was it? No one could remember anymore. The eighty-five year old had driven himself insane, locking himself in with those plants that simply didn't fill in that social gap. Not that he realised that._

_He may have been healthy physically thanks to his isolation, but it wreaked absolute havoc on his mental health._

_That's how he died. No one knew he was dead for a decade, and when they did find out, no one seemed to care._


	15. Get a Movie On!

**Author Notes - OOH the Paranormal Productions! One of my favourite levels in the whole game! For obvious reasons.**

**First things first - NO, Luigi and Daisy will NOT betray Morty. Who do you think I am? A jerk? *carefully sweeps that achievement under her rug* But seriously, I have a **_**special**_ **plan for him.**

**And we'll have a guest star in this level! What the heck do I mean by that? Look, it's the movie-based level. And I am the goddess of this universe. And if you wanted a story that deviated from the game... well then.**

**Gracias to derrickdcrawford and EXRB for the favourites/follows!**

**OH, and also, from now on I'll be occasionally going back and editing previous chapters. This will be either to make them consistent with the newer chapters (early instalment weirdness and all that), fix up some major typos (looking at you, 'an elevator shot out of the Poltergust'), or possibly to change some things that ended up being retconned later on due to my habit of making things up as I go. Note that said changes will be very minor, so no need to re-read chapters already read.**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN - GET A MOVIE ON!**

After the trap-loaded 'castle' and the mountainous garden, the heroes expected things to only get worse from there. So when the doors opened to floor number eight, you can imagine their surprise when they saw, well, absolutely nothing like that at all.

The purple carpet on the floor had a film reel pattern on it. A well-painted set of a gorgeous mountain scape took up the entire right wall. A film camera mounted on the other wall pointed right at it. A shiny red helicopter prop hung from the ceiling.

Daisy chuckled. 'Luigi, I have a feeling we're not in danger anymore.'

Luigi sheltered his eyes from the blinding spotlight that moved around aimlessly. He paid attention to the sounds - nothing much aside from the quiet camera swirling.

'Hi there!'

'Wah!'

Luigi did not expect a ghost to squeeze her body out of the camera lens and float up to him with a smile. From her pink skin alone he recognised her as a 'Slinker', looking up at her from the floor. Daisy heard her plumber's cry for help, spun around, and took on a defensive pose with her fists clenched and ready for battle.

'Get away from him you b-!'

The Slinker held up her arms. 'Whoa, calm down! I'm not going to hurt anyone.'

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'How can I be so sure?'

The Slinker shrugged, a strange sight considering her shoulders were above her face. 'Ya can't. But you're just gonna have to trust me. I'm Scarlett, and you're in a safe haven.'

Luigi clipped the Poltergust nozzle back onto the storage tank, and approached the Slinker known as Scarlett slowly and carefully.

'What are you doing, Luigi?' Daisy asked.

'I... I trust her.'

'Luigi!'

Despite Daisy's apprehension, Scarlett's face lit up. She brought Luigi into a sweet little hug, making sure not to squeeze him too tight. He uttered a distressed hum; he disliked forced physical contact. Daisy would've attacked the ghost, had she not been too busy staring at the embrace in shock.

Scarlett backed away, and motioned to the camera. 'In that case, say hello to my little friend!'

A little yellow head stuck out of the camera lens, and the ghost it belonged to pushed himself out, revealing himself to be a Oozer half the size of a regular one. A 'Mini-Oozer', if you will. Compared to all the younger Minis from before, he had to be at least fourteen.

'Hey there!' He said, waving. 'The name is Brad, and welcome to the Paranormal Productions! Allow us to show you around.'

The duo of ghosts drifted over to a hallway that started on the left of the room. Said hallway turned to the left immediately, turning back on itself.

'Well? Come on!' Scarlett said, beckoning for them to come. 'No need to just lounge around here.'

Luigi smiled, and took a step forward. Only a single step as Daisy grabbed his shoulder before he could go any further.

'What makes you think you can trust them?' She asked. 'I don't doubt your judgement, but most of the ghosts haven't exactly shown themselves to be nice.'

'Some of them have.' He replied. 'What about Mr Wolfgeist? He only attacked us because he thought we hurt his daughter. Not all ghosts are mean.'

Daisy glanced down at Polterpup, who was giving her his trademark puppy dog eyes. After much consideration, she sighed.

'Alright.' She said. 'I don't trust the ghosts but I do trust you. But I will remained armed and ready.' She looked at the ghosts. 'Alright, we'll follow you!'

Scarlett and Brad grinned, the latter clapping his hands like an excited young child.

'Fantastic!' Scarlett said. 'Follow us to our safe haven.'

Our three heroes followed them into the hallway, which wasn't particularly long but still packed with detail. The pattern on the floor resembled a film reel, practically directing them to the main lobby. Dim lights shone on all the movie posters hung up on the walls. Luigi walked through the hallway a little slower than the others, wanting to read every single poster he passed.

_Citizen Kamek_, _The Wizard of Odyssey_, _Snow White and the Seven Toads_, _Raiders of the Belome Temple_, _Gone With the Lakitu_, _Sleeping Birdo_, _Peoplebusters_ (and its questionable-looking all-female remake)...

The Peoplebusters one especially intrigued him. A movie about a trio (or was it a quadtet?) of ghosts busting people the same way he busted ghosts? That had to be interesting.

'You can look at these posters as long as you like.' Brad said. 'No one's gonna attack you here.'

Daisy left the poster hallway, and entered the studio entrance. A red carpet, appropriately, extended to the grand doors, above which was a giant clapperboard prop. A shelf on the right had many golden Goob-shaped awards stacked upon it. Speakers hung from the corners. It made her feel like she was about ready to buy overly-priced popcorn.

She scoffed. 'And what makes you so sure?'

'Hello there!'

'Dah!'

She jumped back a whole foot as a ghost suddenly popped up behind the front desk. He was a Trapper, wearing a little blue hat and bowtie that did little to weaken the fright. At least he kept his two tongues to himself.

'Welcome to the Paranormal Productions!' The Trapper said, holding his arms out wide. 'I am Leonardo, your helpful introduction-er! ... Is there a word for that? Do you have any questions?'

While Daisy stood there with her mind a little broken, Luigi approached the front desk instead. 'Y-Yes, actually. Is this place really as safe as, um, Scarlett and Brad say it is?'

The Trapper tipped his hat. 'Why, absolutely sir! Compared to the horror of the other floors, the Paranormal Productions is a safe haven. Here we are safe from Hellen Gravely's mind tricks. We are the peaceful ghosts, the ones that our boss ignores due to our calm natures. No one will attack you while you relax here!'

Luigi smiled. After the gruelling castle and garden, the very idea of an actually relaxing time seemed almost too good to be true.

Daisy agreed. 'Oh, I see. This is all just some crazy trap. Well I'm not falling for it! You ghosts can all...'

She caught sight of Brad giving Polterpup a belly rub. The ghost doggy soaked it all up, not questioning their intent at all.

'A trap, you say?' Scarlett said, floating in front of her. 'What makes you think we would set up a trap?'

Daisy stammered. 'Well, you- I- a lot of ghosts have tried to hurt us.'

'And you assume that we are just like the other ghosts?'

Daisy's mouth fell open. Sounded pretty 'ghostist' when spoken like that, huh?

'Well, um, to be fair,' Luigi said. 'We're not quite sure what separates you from the others.'

'Simple.' Scarlett said. 'Hellen Gravely prefers to pretend we don't exist.'

All this convincing meant nothing to Luigi; no need to convince someone already buying your every word. Daisy, on the other hand, cocked an eyebrow.

'Uh-huh. Right. I'll draw my own conclusions when I meet the grand boss who owns the place. Where are they?'

Brad looked up to her. 'Oh, you mean Morty? He's the main director!'

Leonardo tapped his fingers against the front desk. He looked as though he had some less than pleasant news to spill.

Scarlett approached him. 'What, they still haven't returned his megaphone yet?'

The Trapper shook his head. 'I'm afraid not. Those cobwebs are mighty strong.'

The Slinker sighed. 'Of course.'

Daisy - unlike Luigi, who hated interrupting - willingly waltzed between the conversing ghosts like she had been invited.

'I'd hate to break up your discussion,' She said. 'But can you take us to Morty? I'm sure he'll give us a good impression of this place.'

Scarlett nodded. 'Right away, Princess! I warn you though. He might be a bit... inconsolable.'

She and her Mini-Oozer friend grabbed onto their own halves of the door, and opened them up like they were unveiling a new movie. If only there was a super bright light on the other side...

Through the grand doors, was a small director's studio off to the right. But far more interestingly was the massive backstage studio right in front of them. Rafters hung from the ceiling, and spotlights hung from those. The wall all the way at the end had a massive '5' on it. Four mysterious TVs stood in the middle of the room, in a slightly-curved line. A table with delectable food sat by the wall on the left, where Polterpup immediately jumped to.

All-in-all, it looked just like a professional backstage set.

Daisy blinked a couple times, making sure she was seeing this right. 'Okay, when that map said there was a movie room, I didn't expect it to be a _studio_.'

Luigi focused on just one spot, a miracle with how much random details usually caught his attention, which was the same spot four of the hanging spotlights focused on. It was the director's chair, dead in the middle of the room. A blue ghost looking more human than the others sat in the chair, his face in his hands.

Daisy smiled. 'That's gotta be him!'

Luigi was not so happy to see him. With how quiet the rest of the stage was, he could easily hear Morty _crying_. The grand ghost weeped into his arms, muttering something about a megaphone.

The green-clad man's heart sank. Contrary to popular belief of those on the spectrum, his empathy was no worse than others'. If anything, it was stronger. _Much_ stronger.

'M-Morty...?' He muttered.

Leaving his weapon hooked up onto the Poltergust, he ran towards the crying director without a second thought.

'Luigi, where are you going?' Daisy asked, going after him. 'You have to be careful!'

He ignored her warnings, seeing them pointless when up against such a sad-looking ghost. When he got close, Morty sheltered his eyes and looked away from him, purely by coincidence as he hadn't noticed the mortal approaching him.

'The tragedy!' Morty wailed. 'Oooooh ho ho ho! Is this my end? Is this what I, Morty, director of the finest films, am destined for?'

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Don't mind him, Luigi. He's clearly a drama queen.'

Luigi didn't give her the dignity of giving her a look, focusing only on the dramatic director. Morty only wailed harder, before his crying became a little more subdued.

'I am a puny, worthless movie director... that's all...'

Luigi cringed. Those words hit him a little too close to home. How many times had he thought _those_ words? Well, perhaps a bit less dramatically.

He fiddled with his hands. 'Um, Mr Morty, can I h-?'

Morty threw his arms up, unleashing one particularly loud cry of agony. In his fit of sadness, he pulled out a shiny golden object from his pocket and held it in the air.

'Even the sparkle from this beautiful button is now nothing but a dull hue!'

Both Luigi and Daisy's eyes sparkled. An elevator button! Numbered '9'. The plumber reached out slowly, not making any sound at all, darting his eyes back to Morty for a moment.

'Oh my Grambi, he has a button!' Daisy declared.

She ran across the room, inadvertently pushing Luigi aside as she dashed to the drama king's side.

'Hey Morty, if you don't mind me asking, may we have that button?' She asked.

Morty turned his head slowly, and gave her the kind of 'please adopt me' look a beaten-up puppy would give you. He glanced at the button, and cried out again.

'AHHH! It is the one thing I have left, and still someone wants to take it from me! But for my utter failure...' His lips quivered. 'It is all that I deserve.'

He tossed it her way, like a piece of rolled up paper. She grabbed it with both hands, and cradled it like it was a handful of water.

'Wow, uh, thanks!' She said. 'I didn't think it'd be that easy.'

He waved her away dismissively. 'I do not deserve to have such a beautiful object! Give it to someone of more worth than me! Or keep it to yourself. That button is worthier than this failure of a director!'

She held the button close to her chest, in case that forsaken kitty decided to hop through the wall and swallow it again.

'Come on Luigi!' She said. 'Let's go!'

She began making her way back to the elevator, but stopped after only a few steps. Luigi hadn't moved an inch from his spot.

'Uh, Luigi, it's time to go. Come on. We have the button.'

'We have to make this right.' He said.

'Ugh, Luigi! We can't-'

Oh no, he was doing those puppy-dog eyes again. He _had_ to be doing that on purpose.

'It's what Mario would do. Big bro never left someone in need.'

She sighed; she'd get him and his toothache-inducing cuteness one day. 'Alright. We'll help Morty out. But we gotta do it quickly.'

Luigi sidestepped quietly in front of Morty, and fiddled with his hands some more as he debated how to go about this.

'Um, Mr Morty...?'

The crying ghost looked up at him. 'Someone approaching me? It can't be. Who would ever bother to even glance at a puny director such as I?! I am not worthy to be spoken to by even a rock!'

'C-Can I ask, what's wrong?'

Scarlett and Brad watched him with surprise. They never thought they'd see a mortal say _that_ to a ghost.

Morty leaned back in his chair so much, he'd snap his spine if he had one. 'What is wrong, he asks. WHAT IS WRONG? What it right is a better question! Nothing is right anymore, ever since I lost my bright red megaphone!'

And with that, he made a loud, almost indescribable wailing sound. Daisy rolled her eyes, and Luigi jumped back.

'AHHHHH! My bright red megaphone! Where art thou?! I would give anything to be able to hold my dear, sweet megaphone again...'

He quieted down a bit, and by that I mean he still cried just as hard but just into his hands now. While still leaning backwards.

'My sweet megaphone... at least we'll always have Lake Lamode...' He muttered one last time.

The backstage returned to an almost complete silence, aside from Morty's quiet sobs.

'Kay, so correct me if I'm wrong.' Daisy said. 'We're looking for a bright red _saxophone_, right?'

Scarlett flashed her a look.

'What? It was a joke! We'll help him find his precious megaphone.'

'Oh, don't worry about finding it.' The Slinker said. 'We already know where it is.'

Now it was time for Daisy to flash her a look.

'You serious? Then why don't you go and get it?!'

'That's the problem. Follow us.'

Scarlett and Brad floated over to the red TV on the far left. Its screen showed what appeared to be a cardboard box surrounded by nails and a plastic bottle. The two friendly ghosts proceeded to enter and disappear into the screen, with nothing more than a bright blue glow.

'What?!' Daisy exclaimed, peering at the TV. 'How are we supposed to do _that_?'

Luigi knelt down in front of the screen, and suddenly found himself allured by it. Why? Who knows. But he leaned forward, caught in the pull of the mysterious TV.

'Oooh…'

'They're here...' Some mysterious voice whispered to him.

'Uh, Luigi? What are you doing?'

He leaned in closer, so close his nose nearly touched the screen. Cyan sparks emitted by the TV clung onto his skin.

'Luigi!'

'Yah!'

The man in green jumped to his feet and backed away, batting at his nose to make those annoying sparks disappear.

'Why did you do _that_?' Daisy asked.

'I... don't know. It just, um, attracted me for some reason.'

Polterpup, now done with the roast turkey, scampered across the room and jumped into the screen, phasing through Luigi to do so.

'Ah! Boy, where are you going?'

Without really thinking, Luigi ducked through the TV screen after him. Wait, _through_? A mortal like him going through the solid glass? Well, yes. He slipped through the screen just like a ghost, and vanished into it.

Daisy's eyes shot wide open. 'AHH! Luigi, what the heck did you just do?!'

Luigi emerged as if he had stepped through a portal, and found himself in a totally different room. It highly resembled what was on the screen he just passed through. In fact, it was borderline identical.

Except, it turned out to be nothing more than a film set. The cardboard box and table-like floor were up against a blue screen, with a film camera pointed at it. Most noticeably, the box was actually _huge_. It had to be at least the size of a garage, and the nails were as tall as Luigi himself. The empty plastic bottle to the left of the box seemed big enough to be a simple spaceship. The whole thing made him feel like some sort of incredible shrinking man.

'Ooh...'

Scarlett and Brad waited for him, floating at the base of the gigantic box.

'Luigi?!'

'Ah!'

Daisy's terrified head stuck out of the TV behind him, looking around at her surroundings with increasing shock.

'Um, excuse me?! You go through the TV and end up in another set? How are you _this_ okay with this?!'

Luigi shrugged. 'It kinda reminded me of the E-Gates from Evershade Valley.'

'Oh, I really need to go on your adventures more often.'

She pushed the rest of her body through, stumbling about as whatever the portal equivalent of jetlag is greeted her with a punch to the gut.

'Are doors too good for ya?!' She yelled in a slightly drunk manner.

'We're _ghosts_.' Brad said like it was obvious. 'We didn't bother building doors on this floor. So we use TVs to move our props around.'

'Yeah. Sure. Why not?'

Luigi gasped, happily for the first time in a while. The box, which appeared to be on its side, had the top flap of the lid open, leaning on a tall pencil. It revealed -

'Morty's megaphone!'

Yes, that. Narrating is my job, Luigi. Morty's sweet megaphone could be seen in the corner of the box. Just one problem. The shiny red object of desire was caught up in cobwebs, ones much thicker than those the plumber was used to.

The mortals stood next to the ghosts, all four parties looking up at the trapped device.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'So... why don't you just yank it out?'

Scarlett crossed her arms. 'You think we haven't tried that? We gave up after the twentieth time.'

'Those cobwebs are impossible!' Brad added.

Polterpup, passing through the webs, grabbed onto the megaphone by the handle. He tugged on it, but it didn't budge at all.

Luigi remembered the last time he had to deal with cobwebs with a shudder. Oh, the Gloomy Manor. Those icky webs were absolutely everywhere, to the point where E. Gadd told him to clear them out using...

He snapped his fingers. 'Fire! You need to burn the cobwebs away!'

The two ghosts proceeded to look at each other with that 'why didn't we think of that' expression.

'Wait, you never thought to burn the webs away?' Daisy asked. 'Seriously?'

Scarlett put her chin in her hand. 'Well, to be fair, it's only been caught for five minutes.'

'Five mi-?! It's been lost for only _five_ minutes? Why is Morty freaking out so much?!'

'If you knew Morty as well as we do, you'd be answering your own question.'

Luigi looked around the set for any source of fire, only to come up short. If only the Poltergust G-00 was capable of shooting fire like the 3000 model... Brad smiled as an idea dawned on him. He floated over to Scarlett, rubbing his hands like a villainess about to steal some puppies.

'Hey Scarly, you thinking what I'm thinking?'

Scarlett grinned. 'Sci-Fi set?'

'Sci-Fi set!'

'Alright! Let's go!'

The duo floated over to the TV and floated back through it. Brad stuck his head out and waved to the mortals.

'Second TV to the left. See ya in the Sci-Fi set!'

* * *

'My art! Oh how my art suffers! Do not slander the title 'director' by applying it to me! Without my megaphone, I am unworthy of carrying such a name!'

'Five minutes, dude. Five minutes. Hey - ow...'

'Please be nice.'

* * *

Following the ghosts' instructions, they had to go through the dark blue TV next to the red one. Luigi got a good look at the set before stepping through it. As opposed to the relatively mundane cardboard box, this set had a spaceship, it seemed. Well, it _was_ the Sci-Fi set.

'You like Sci-Fi?' Daisy asked. 'Cos I do!'

Luigi shrugged. 'Eh. It's fine.'

'Arf arf arf!'

'Oh, but I think Polterpup really likes it. Uh, I _think_.'

Now the language barrier was really starting to annoy him, even if he had a better time communicating with Polterpup than with actual people who shared his language.

All three slipped through the TV, walking into it like an open door. It spat them out one at a time. First Luigi, then Daisy, and finally Polterpup. Of course, Polterpup could've simply gone through the walls, but that was no fun. Like the red TV, the dark blue one dropped them off right where it told them it would. This set was not too much different than the last, mostly thanks to sharing a blue screen that boxed the set in.

The big difference being, of course, the lack of any sort of giant box or nails and instead a fair-sized spaceship. It was not your conventional spaceship, however. Instead resembling anything like a rocket, it looked like, well, a big white disc. It had a cockpit to the side, and - how do you describe them? - giant triangles jutting out of the front. It seemed like they were meant to be one whole triangle, but were missing the middle piece.

Daisy put her hand on her hip. 'What a hunk of junk! It looks more like a delivery ship or something.'

Luigi shrugged. 'I think it looks cool.'

'Yip yip yip!'

'And I... think Polterpup agrees with me.'

One thing was missing though - the two ghosts they had followed to get here in the first place. They could hear what they guessed to be a quiet discussion, but from where was impossible to tell.

'You don't think they'd mind if we looked around the set, do you?' Daisy asked.

'Um, if we don't break anything, maybe?'

'Awesome.'

Considering that a good enough grant of permission, Daisy approached the ship prop. By that I mean, she got right underneath it. She looked at every little detail put into the bottom of it. The thing seemed to be made out of foam.

'I gotta admit,' She said. 'This baby's got some detail. But she won't be reaching light-speed any time soon.'

Luigi looked up at the cockpit. What did half of those buttons even do? On the plus side, it did have four comfortable looking seats.

'It looks pretty fast to me.'

'Heh. The fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.'

Polterpup sniffed what appeared to be a currently-closed entrance ramp. Now _that_ was a bizarre scent. It smelled a bit - no better word for it - metallic.

'So... where are those ghosts?' Daisy asked.

'On the ship, maybe?'

'Alright. How do we get on?'

'I think the ramp's right here.'

In contrast to the rest of the bumpy underside, a rectangular area stood out as much flatter. They stood just behind where the ramp would supposedly go when it opened up.

Daisy crossed her arms. 'So where the keys for it?'

'Polterpup might be able to-'

The ramp opened, just an inch at first. Heavy steam seeped out of that tiny gap. Luigi jumped back, and Polterpup scampered away.

'Oh, so you're finally coming out?' Daisy said. 'Did you find something we can use to... uh...?'

The ramp slowly opened all the way and clanked against the floor, right at their feet. No ghosts could be seen past the pitch-black shadows, but loud metallic footsteps could be heard, coming at them slowly.

The sound was just like those of the suits of armour from the castle.

Daisy gulped. 'Uh... L-Luigi... y-you don't think that's a...?'

Luigi couldn't answer. The very thought of encountering those horrifying knights again made him too frightened to speak. The only sound that came from his mouth was clattering teeth.

A leg emerged from the shadows, making its way down the ramp. Unlike the rusted metal of the fallen knights, this leg was coated in shiny gold. Daisy stood behind Luigi, and involuntarily squeezed his shoulders. Polterpup hid behind one of the legs holding the ship up.

The metallic being took more steps down the ramp, the heavy sounds of its feet echoing in the empty, quiet set. Its golden exterior reflected the stagelights. The mortals took a couple steps back, unable to look anywhere else.

As the being made its way down the steps and out of the shadow, the rest of its body was revealed. It was surprisingly humanoid, much more so than the suits of armour, but its face was just human enough to not be too uncanny.

Not that it eased our heroes' worry. They stepped back a little more.

The being reached the bottom of the ramp, and stared at our heroes with its glowing yet lifeless eyes. It lifted its arm in a threatening manner - or, wait, is it just waving? No, definitely threatening.

Luigi and Daisy watched it in utter fear, waiting for whatever horrifying thing it would say.

'Hello!' It greeted with a friendly, British voice. 'I am See-Threepio, human cyborg rela-'

'AAHHHHH!' The mortals yelled together.

'AHHH!' The golden robot screamed as well, flailing his arms like they didn't move very well. 'What are we screaming about, sir?!'

'Do something, Luigi!'

Luigi grabbed his Poltergust from behind him - which took about five attempts - and shot a plunger that landed on the weird target-looking thing on the robot's stomach(?).

'Oh my!' The robot yelled. 'Get this confounded thing off m-!'

Daisy pushed Luigi aside and grabbed onto the rope herself. She flung the golden robot over her shoulders, and slammed him into the floor as hard as she could.

He broke apart into each of his individual pieces, which included everything breaking into both a front and a back piece. Luigi had to cover his ears to lessen the tremendous crashing sound that echoed in the empty room.

The parts rested in a large pile, the lights of the eyes burned out. The mortals breathed heavily as their hearts started beating again.

Daisy wiped her brow, an uncomfortable move considering the metal gloves. 'Oh thank Grambi... who knows what he would've done if we let him...'

Polterpup sniffed the shiny parts, picking up no mysterious smells at all. Nothing supernatural in the slightest.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'Wait... was he just waving at us?'

'Uh... yeah, I think he was.'

'Was... was he gonna do _anything_ to us?'

Daisy was quiet for several seconds. 'Ah, crap.'

They stood there, letting the fact that they just murdered a potentially harmless robot sink in.

'What did you two do?!' Scarlett yelled from behind them.

They spun around and saw the friendly Slinker staring at them with her mouth agape and her jaw wide open. Brad was next to her, looking no less shocked. Luigi walked backwards away from this scene, only stopping when he nearly tripped over the golden robot's right arm.

Daisy tapped her fingers together. 'Uh, well, ya see... we thought he was going to attack us, so...'

'You mean Robby?' Brad said. 'He'd do more damage to _himself_ in an actual battle!'

Daisy laughed like she was about to die, backing up until she too almost tripped over a metallic limb.

'Heh heh... I'm sure this is all just a little misunderstanding...'

Another ghost emerged from the spaceship, this one a Hammer. A Hammer who looked more than a little shocked at the destruction to boot. She looked at the mortals with anger in her empty eyes.

'MORTALS HURT METALHEAD! ANGELINA NEEDED METALHEAD FOR NEXT SCENE! METALHEAD WAS FRIEND!'

Scarlett grabbed her arm and pulled her away, nice and gently. I know that Angelina's death glare was an empty threat - the ghosts in the Paranormal Production preferred peace after all - but the mortals didn't.

'We're sorry!' Luigi cried. 'We didn't know that he was-'

Brad rubbed his temples. 'No. It's alright. Believe me, it'll be fine.'

Daisy picked up the disembodied head of the golden robot, the one set of pieces that stayed together, mostly to look at its handiwork. Whoever built this robot clearly knew what they were doing.

'Poor guy.' She said, rubbing her thumb over the forehead. 'I bet he just wanted to greet us before we-'

The lights in the eyes turned back on. 'AHH! Look what you've done to me!'

'YIKES!'

She inadvertently threw it out of her hands and into the air. Luigi yelped, and reached his arms out to grab it. The first attempt only made the now-functioning head bounce to the right. The second attempt made it go to the left.

'What are you doing?' The golden robot fussed. 'Stop that now!'

The third attempt went a lot better - Luigi grabbed the head with both hands this time. Said hands were very shaky.

'You're... you're okay?' Luigi asked, rather unsure if this was really happening.

'Of course I'm okay! I'm talking to you, am I not? Just look at what you humans did to me!'

'How were we supposed to know you were friendly?' Daisy yelled.

'I was about to tell you before you smashed me to pieces!'

To say the least, the golden robot already seemed like quite the whiner. Scarlett swooped into the scene, and carefully took the shiny head out of Luigi's hands.

'Now now HAL,' She said, floating away to put him on a box. 'There's no need to get mad.'

'There's plenty need to get mad!' He complained back. 'My body is in pieces! And my name is not Hal. I am See Th-'

'Take it easy, HAL.'

Brad had his face buried in his hand, sighing in exasperation. Whether it was due to the entire incident or just the robot's complaining was unclear.

'This visit was a little more annoying than I thought it'd be.' He said. 'But on the bright side, Angelina let us borrow this.'

From behind his back, he pulled out a, uh... white sword handle that very vaguely resembled an old film camera lens. He tossed it to Daisy, who caught it with grace.

She held it up. 'What the heck is this?'

'Our solution to our cobweb problem!' Brad announced.

Luigi and Daisy looked at the sword handle thing, sharing the same thoughts about how the heck that would help at all.

Scarlett returned to the group, minus the robot head. 'Back to the Micro set!'

'Uh, what about the-?' Luigi tried to ask.

'Never mind HAL. Angelina will put him back together. Let's go!'

And they all left the set with the sword handle thing in hand, leaving behind Angelina and the golden robot.

The golden robot's head rested on a box, being forced to watch the Hammer try and fail to put his body back together. Considering that she was trying to connect a hand to a knee, you can guess how well that was going.

Okay, if I have to keep calling him 'the golden robot', I'm going to lose it. He mentioned his name earlier. What was it? Hey, robot head, what's your name?

'My name is See-'

Shinypants! What a brilliant name!

If Shinypants had the lungs to sigh, he absolutely would have at that moment.

* * *

'Okay, now I need you to stand right there...' Scarlett said from behind the camera. 'Right there...'

Luigi, Daisy, and Polterpup did as they were told, and stood in the middle of the Micro set. Luigi stood still as a post, his wide eyes staring through the camera lens.

'So what are we supposed to do?' Daisy asked. 'Both in regards to standing still and using this, uh, thing.'

'Be patient.' Brad said from behind Scarlett. 'Once this camera is on, you'll see a whole new definition of movie magic.'

After a little bit of fiddling, Scarlett turned the camera on. And everything changed.

The giant box and the like remained, but the blue screen that surrounded them transformed. No longer were they on a set. The walls turned to a wide, open - and astronomically huge - workshop, with a desk and shelves covered with various tools. The floorboards they stood on turned out to be a small table, suspending them miles above the floor. Where was the camera? They couldn't see it anymore.

'Whoa!' Daisy exclaimed. 'Hang on. What?!'

'AHHH!'

The weirdest part of this already weird situation? They could not recall seeing the place transform. It wasn't even 'normal one second, crazy the next'. As far as they could remember, the set had always been this expansive.

'Don't worry!' Scarlett's voice came from... somewhere. 'This is exactly what is supposed to happen.'

Polterpup flew away to one of the shelves, and noted the sheer size of a wrench in comparison to himself. The tool was solid, but surely he'd be far away enough to have left the hotel entirely.

Daisy pinched the bridge of her nose. 'They can never spare a second to warn us, can they? And we had to be thrown into whatever this is... why?'

'The box can only open up when the camera's rolling.' Scarlett answered. 'So it won't break before its time.'

'Uh-huh. Right. And how do we do that?'

Luigi noticed a red 'fragile' sticker stuck onto the stapled-up flap, and thought it looked a lot like a target. He fired out a plunger onto it, and nailed a bullseye.

'Wow. Do you even need me here?' Daisy joked.

'Yes.' He replied, leaving it at that.

'Oh. Um... thanks. It was a joke, by the way.'

He dragged the rope back as far as it would go, neither mortal noticing the box shuffling around slightly.

'Oh, and I should warn you.' Brad said from a disembodied realm. 'There's a-'

Luigi yanked on the rope and tore the box open before Brad could finish his warning, which turned out to be an awful idea as OH MY GRAMBI!

Ahem... as from the opened box emerged a **giant spider** that unleashed a horrid shrieking sound the moment it was set free. It rushed at our heroes in an unrelenting struggle. Daisy stepped back, just a little - okay, _very_ \- surprised at the arachnid coming at her. Luigi on the other hand...

'AHHH! SPIIIDER!'

He shielded his face from the menacing bug, backing away as much as he could before Daisy stopped him from falling off the ledge. Terrible memories of the Gloomy Manor came back to him.

_Not the Spider Queen... not the Spider Queen!_

'Luigi. Luigi? Luigi!'

'Y-Yeah?' His voice came out as a squeak.

'It's a prop.'

His cheeks turned a bright red. Yep, the giant spider thing in front of him was made of plastic, no matter how realistic-looking it was.

'Spiders...' He muttered. 'Why did it have to be spiders?'

'So Daisy,' Brad said. 'Do you still have that sword thing?'

Daisy didn't see the need for the question, since she was already holding it.

'You wanna tell me what it does now?'

'Press that big red button, and for the love of Jaydes hold it away from you. I learnt that the hard way.'

With a shrug, she did just that. She didn't expect much at all, so you can imagine her surprise when a green laser blade shot out of one end of the handle.

'Whoa!' She cried. 'Oh, that's so cool!'

The laser sword made a mechanical hum, and emitted a powerful green glow. She swung it around like a drunk pirate.

Luigi yelped and ducked as the blade swung a little too close to his face. 'Watch where you swing that thing!'

'It's just a prop. There's no way it'll-'

For some reason Daisy had still not learnt her lesson about not tempting fate. She swung the blade through the spider prop's body, straight down the middle. It left a scorching scar all the way through, before the two halves fell pathetically inwards into a pile.

Luigi and Daisy stared at the accidental destruction for a few silent seconds.

'Don't worry about that!' Scarlett said. 'Everything resets itself when the camera's off anyway.'

'And as for the blade,' Brad added. 'It only works when the camera's _on_.'

Daisy swung the sword again, slicing one of the legs off. 'Well that's disappointing. Whatever. Let's get that megaphone and get out of here!'

She pushed the two halves aside and walked right on in between them, leaving Luigi to wonder how she could do that without being squicked out. He opted to go around it.

Daisy looked up at the web for a moment. As tempting as it was to simply laser-sword through it, it probably wasn't a good idea to slice the megaphone into pieces. She held the green blade up to the cobwebs, and they caught on fire. The embers travelled up each branch of the sticky string, consuming every inch of it. The webbing vanished with a literal puff of smoke, and the megaphone fell right into her free hand.

'Huh. That was easy.' She remarked with a shrug. Not that she was complaining.

And for once, it wasn't 'too easy'. They had it. Simple as that. Who knew!

'Awesome!' Scarlett said. 'Now just step out of the box, or it'll trap you in.'

Deciding that questioning anything about this was pointless, Daisy did as instructed. The gigantic workshop vanished, and returned to a mundane blue screen. The box flap went back to being stabled on, and the set came back into view. Just like before, no one saw it happening, but now they could at least remember everything looking weird, even if it felt like a memory from years ago.

As for Scarlett and Brad, the scenery didn't change at all. There was no workshop, or giant spider, or even laser sword. Everything that happened could only be truly seen through the camera lens. Polterpup, now at his owner's feet, looked around in utter shock. Since when was he here? Wasn't he miles away a second ago? It didn't feel like a second ago.

Brad gave them a thumbs-up. 'And cut! Good job guys. Let's get that megaphone back to its rightful owner!'

The friendly ghosts popped through the red TV again, leaving our heroes behind.

Luigi stared at the megaphone with a rather incredulous expression. 'Am I the only one who thinks this is really weird?'

'What? What could you possibly find weird about a friendly golden robot or a set that completely transforms into a giant workshop?'

'No, I mean... is this really it? We needed to find the megaphone. Now we have it. I feel like we were supposed to do more. We don't even know where the other two TVs lead.'

'After that garden mess, I appreciate the easier time.'

As the trio went for the TV, they didn't seem to realise that this was indeed not the end of the Paranormal Productions.

* * *

'What's an artist without a brush, huh? A chef without a knife? A dog without a bag of trash?! Nothing! Without my megaphone, I'm nothing too! No... I'm less than nothing!'

Usually, Luigi would hate the mere thought of talking to someone he didn't know well. But the joyous anticipation he felt was more than enough to overpower his nerves.

'Mr Morty!' He cried out in joy. 'We found your megaphone!'

In spite of the good news, Morty continued to weep into his hands. 'No! Do not promise me such things! My sweet, sweet megaphone will never be returned to my side... OOOH, how will I possibly move on without thee, megaphone!'

Daisy rolled her eyes with a sigh, and stood in front of that overdramatic ghost. She grabbed his forehead and forced him to look at her.

'Here it is!' She declared, shoving it into his arms. 'Happy now?'

He stared at the megaphone in his hands, like he just uncovered the world's biggest diamond and couldn't believe it. His gaped mouth slowly morphed into a massive smile.

'MY SWEET MEGAPHONE!'

In an impressive display, he flew into the air and twirled around like an enchanted ice-skater, embracing the chromatic device like it was his long lost teddy bear.

'Oh, we are finally reunited! After so long, I thought I'd never see you again... but here you are! I can FEEL the inspiration flowing through my veins as I touch your beautiful plastic!'

Luigi watched him with a little wholesome smile, while Daisy genuinely chuckled. Morty floated back down, refusing to let go of his precious object. That was until he glanced at the one who delivered it to him in the first place. The moment his eyes fell upon Daisy, the megaphone slipped out of his hands and onto the floor.

'Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE!'

He grabbed the princess by the shoulders and pulled her in.

'Hey!' She yelled. 'Let go of me!'

Luigi, in a knee-jerk reaction, grabbed his flashlight and aimed it. He was about to charge it up, when Scarlett put her hand on his shoulder.

'Just give it a moment.' She said. 'It'll be okay!'

Morty's eyes darted up and down, and he smiled even wider than before. He soared up like a loop-de-looping airplane, and spread his arms and tail like an exploding firework.

'Yes! YES! I've done it! I've found her... the perfect actress to be in my movie!'

'Wait, what?!'

'Look at that fiery passion in her eyes! Marvel at the strength of her spirit. Be HYPNOTISED by her daring voice!'

Still floating in the middle of the air, he pulled out a full-on script from his pocket and tossed it her way. She managed to catch it, though it did slam into her chest.

'Read that treatment, my fletching actress! That is the treatment that will make you a star! No... no no... a SUPERSTAR! It's an offer you cannot refuse!'

Daisy's mind was racing a hundred a minute at that moment, completely discombobulated by whatever the heck was going on. Luigi just watched the whole thing unable to piece anything together. Scarlett and Brad weren't surprised at all.

The confused princess looked down at the treatment, and read the front page.

_The Heroine and Her Robot Partner (Working Title), Treatment by Morty Spookus._

Out of morbid curiosity, she looked at the first page.

_The movie begins with the titular heroine and her robot partner flying a ship in outer space._

She stifled a laugh. 'What?'

Morty floated back down to the ground, and clapped his hands twice. 'Where's my assistant? In the director's room, correct? Scarlett, Brad, deliver her to my room at once! She must get ready for her new future!'

At this point, Daisy stopped caring. Any objections, such as 'we have to leave' or 'I did not consent to this'? Too much energy. Forget it, Daisy - it's the Last Resort. She allowed Scarlett and Brad to drag her to the director's room near the entrance.

Luigi slapped his cheeks, and couldn't comprehend the fact that this was actually happening.

Morty's head snapped to him. 'Young man!'

He jumped back. 'GAH! Y-You talking to me?' He looked around. 'Well, I'm the only one here...'

_Please don't ask me to be a star too..._ No way he could handle the pressure of being in front of a camera like Daisy could.

'Though you yourself have the PERFECT qualities to be a star, I am so sad to mention that - alas - this movie is already booked out. I am so sorry! But do not be distraught. You can help as well, and I will make sure that your name is twice as big as mine in the credits!'

Luigi sighed in relief. Upon thinking about it again, he did _kinda_ want to be in a movie, at least one with Daisy. Oh well. If this movie that they were apparently making now was successful, there'd be another chance.

'Such as right this very glorious moment!' Morty continued. 'You sir shall help me get my robot friend ready for shooting! Come with me to the Sci-Fi set.'

And any relief Luigi felt didn't exist anymore.

'Ah! Um...' He said. 'About that. I kind of-'

Morty had already gone through the TV. Luigi gulped, and went in too.

* * *

Daisy hadn't quite expected Morty's assistant to be a female Oozer - named Meryl according to her name tag - who was done-up in heavy make-up. Oh, and spoke in an accent that was some weird Russian-French-German combination.

The princess couldn't even pay attention to anything in Morty's somewhat messy director's room, thanks to Meryl giving her a doubting look with her chin in her hand.

'Yes, you are - how Morty say - perfect.' Meryl said. 'But Morty's crazy movies demand more zan perfection. And you... you are not eet.'

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'How you gonna make me more than perfect, exactly?'

Meryl turned to a small desk in the back corner of the room. Tons of make-up supplies - all entirely her own - dotted the surface. She picked up a little powder puff.

Daisy groaned. 'Sorry. I'm not much of a make-up lady. What I'm wearing right now is all I'll ever do.'

The Oozer glared at her. 'Why do you say zat? Eet is zee only way to improve on your perfection. Now, hold still sweetie.'

The princess stood still for about half a second, until Meryl began powdering her cheeks. It just served to remind her how little she cared about applying that much make-up to begin with, and she couldn't help but fidget around a bit.

'Eet might take a while for you to reach Morty's view of further perfection. And eet will take longer if you do not sit still.'

Daisy would've complied with her request, if only to get out of this sooner, but that scattering powder tickled her nose like crazy. Any moment she might-

'_**AAAHH-CHOOOO!**_'

Yeah, that. Another reason she wasn't the most keen on heavy make-up. Meryl leaned back with her eyes as wide as they could go, with her face covered in the powder.

Daisy blushed, just a little. 'Uh, sorry.'

The ghost wiped her face clean. 'So eet seems you are not so keen on powder. I'm... sure I'll find a way to make eet work.'

Daisy grumbled to herself. 'Of all the hotels in all the kingdoms in all the world... I walk into this one.'

* * *

'WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR GLORIOUS ROBOT FRIEND?!'

Luigi arrived to see Morty staring at the crime scene in exaggerated shock. More specifically, the scene of Angelina trying to connect the foot directly to the neck while Shinypants's head continued to complain at her.

'What are you doing?!' Shinypants whined. 'That part doesn't go there! Where do you think it goes?'

On one hand, kind of a jerk for complaining about help. On the other, right about Angelina having no clue what she was doing.

The Hammer in question slumped her shoulders. 'Angelina sorry about Metalhead. Metalhead all broken. Angelina can't put Metalhead back together.'

Shinypants scoffed. 'And with craftsmanship like that it's no wonder my body is still a scrap heap on the ground! All thanks to that human standing beside you!'

Morty, caring none for whoever was to blame, collapsed to the floor and proceeded to weep some more.

'Oh, how cruel fate is! I finally get my sweet megaphone back, only for my co-star to be in literal pieces! How will my greatest film yet ever get made now?!'

Luigi couldn't feel any more bad for this director, and felt guilt on his shoulders, even if it was just an accident.

'Um... can't you do the movie with, er, someone else?' He asked.

Morty shook his head. 'It cannot be! The co-star **must** be of robotic nature! His metallic make-up contrasts with the heroine's organic origin, and he is programmed to be caring and diplomatic. And it's a metaphor! A metaphor for being human-like, yet feeling as though one simply does not fit in with organic people no matter how hard one tries!'

Though Luigi knew nothing about the character himself, he already liked him.

Brad arrived through the TV, not surprised by the sight at all. 'Well, the movie's definitely dead now. Hey Robby! How long do you think it'll take to get your body back together?'

'Hmph! At the rate Mistress Angelina is working, it'll take approximately seventy-four years, eight months, five days, sixteen-'

The Mini-Oozer groaned. 'Best case scenario, please?'

'I calculate that, in the best case scenario, it would take one hour, twenty-four minutes, seven seconds, and three-hundred-and-ninety-six milliseconds for my body to be returned to its former glory.'

Luigi stepped up to the remains of - how many names did he have? What was his name for real? He had to come up with one for him. Anyway, he approached the shiny gold trash pile. He picked up one of the arm pieces, marvelling its lovely shine.

'There is one way to get it done faster, Master Brad.' Shinypants continued. 'If you were to have a skeleton of sorts to put my parts on, you'd be able to build me much faster. It'd only take approximately five minutes, assuming everything clicks together.'

The moment Shinypants mentioned 'a skeleton', Brad glanced at Luigi. The man in green still held the half of an arm, which now that Brad looked at it closer...

'Wait a minute!' He yelled. 'Everyone, hold the presses! I think we have the solution to our problem standing right in front of us.'

Everyone, even the distressed Morty, looked to him in anticipation. He yanked the arm piece out of Luigi's hand, and picked up the other half from the floor.

'Hold still, Plumber Boy.'

'Um... what are you...?'

Brad lifted his left arm and forced it to stay straight out. He took the two pieces, and placed them over Luigi's forearm like a puzzle piece. A couple clicks later, the two pieces stuck over the plumber's arm. A perfect fit.

Morty's eyes sparkled, and his big smile returned. 'Of course! How could I not see it before? Young man! What is your name?'

Luigi gawked at the golden forearm he now had. 'Uh... L-Luigi?'

'Luigi? What a perfect name! It inspires all with hope and trust! Luigi, did you know that you've just singlehandedly saved my entire movie? Not only do you have the perfect build for our amazing costume, but you have that gorgeous compassion and kindness in your eyes and voice that this role demands! You simply MUST be part of my movie!' He paused. 'Unless, of course, you do not desire to. I would absolutely be okay if you denied!'

Brad, before any more answers, put the rest of the left arm together. Luigi felt like a cyborg, with that robotic limb. He squinted from the light reflecting into his eyes, and he could barely move his fingers at all.

But he didn't have the heart to say 'no'. Not with Daisy's acting career on the line.

'I... I'll do it.'

Morty clapped like a child in a chocolate factory. 'Wonderful, my aspiring actor! I can guarantee you that you shall not disappoint! We will have to make some slight adjustments though. Our robot's head will certainly not fit yours, so we'll have to make your character a cyborg instead...'

He rambled on a list of changes that would be befitting the new - and brilliant - upcoming actor, as Brad continued to put the suit together around Luigi.

The plumber felt the cold metal being clicked over his clothes. It felt like donning a mascot suit, albeit a lot less sweaty. Though it conformed to his build almost perfectly, he already knew his movement was gonna be very, very stiff.

'Oh, you're not putting my parts over _him_, are you?' Shinypants complained. 'Of all the people to replace me, you chose a **plumber**? He'll get me all dirty and grungy!'

'_Oh shut up, HAL!_' Scarlett yelled, despite not being in the room.

'Don't worry, um, Mr Daniels.' Luigi said. 'I'll keep you clean.'

Shinypants would normally complain about yet another stupid nickname, but he had to admit that 'Mr Daniels' was significantly better than 'Robby' or 'Metalhead'.

'I would love to watch this costume be fully realised!' Morty said. 'But, alas, I must check up on our brilliant actress. I fear that my assistant Meryl may try to improve on her perfection when improving on her perfection is impossible!'

As Morty left the room and Brad continued to put the costume together, Luigi had to wonder...

What had he just gotten himself into?

_From today,_ he thought to himself, _I'm officially considering myself the unluckiest man on the face of this planet._

**Author Notes - Morty is a delight. I love writing drama queens.**

**Sprinkled throughout both this chapter and the next are a bunch of references to various movies, whether it be in the form of famous quotes or familiar-sounding similes.**

**It's incredibly tempting to have Shinypants accompany our heroes on the rest of the journey, but I think it's best if he remains at the Paranormal Productions.**

_**(Okay, but seriously, See-Threepio is not my creation and is owned by Disney... I think. I'm sure everyone knows that, but I just wanna be clear. His nicknames are taken from various famous robotic characters in various movies.)**_

* * *

_Angelina did not initially approve of being the one to investigate that loud crash outside, until she saw the crash site. It seemed to be a spaceship. Even more shocking, some sort of metal space creature, completely made of gold, emerged from it!_

_And he was quite the complainer too. Angelina listened to his whole story. Apparently, he had been around for thousands of years before he crashed his ship onto this planet, quite the miracle considering how bad of a pilot he was._

_Most importantly, he had been through a lot. A LOT. Including the loss of a dear friend of his, someone he called 'Artoo'. Well, Angelina had no idea what he was going on about, but she knew one thing - he definitely needed a home now._

_Morty welcomed him into their safe haven with open arms. And considering how much this space creature hated space travel, he graciously accepted another planet to call home._


	16. The Superstars' Saga

**Author Notes - Presenting: Serlida and B-GO, starring Princess Daisy as Serlida and Luigi as B-GO/Beegio! ****Well, more so the production behind the movie. Even with paranormal powers, Morty still needs the bare basics of a scene to work with.**

**Not only is this floor a 'Breather Level' in the game itself, it kinda is in the story too. Though the darker moments are not totally gone, the tone is much lighter (if the guest appearance by **_**C-3PO**_ **didn't make that obvious).**

**And, needless to say, when we get to the Museum and the Boilerworks (and beyond), things won't stay light for long. So note that the tone in this chapter is intentionally completely different to the darker tone the story will have from here on out.**

**The astute of you may have noticed that I've been making minor changes to my cover page occasionally. Well, you also may have noticed that there's a less... minor change this time.**

**As always, appreciation to those who favourite/follow, including the newest stargirldnc2001!**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN - THE SUPERSTARS' SAGA**

Brad wiped his brow. 'Phew! That was a little harder than I thought it'd be. But it's done!'

Luigi, done almost entirely up in that shiny robotic suit, felt incredibly sheepish. Not to mention restricted. The costume felt only slightly lighter and less cumbersome than a full suit of armour, and the light it reflected hurt his eyes.

'Green man pull suit off well!' Angelina said, clapping her hands. 'Green man look better in suit than Metalhead!'

'I'm right here, you know! Though, I must admit, he does pull off the look rather well.'

Something dawned on Luigi in that moment - he hadn't moved an inch since the arm pieces were clicked on. He lifted one of his arms up, finding himself fighting against a heavy weight in desperate need of oiling. His arm moved and could wave, but not nearly as smoothly as it usually could. The metal clinked against itself, creating a plinking sound he kinda liked. As the joints moved, they made a mechanical whirling sound. Oh, and his fingers couldn't move _at all_.

Polterpup barked at Shinypants, not aggressively but in a causal manner one would use for a conversation, with a smug look on his muzzle.

'He does _not_ look better in my body than I do!' Shinypants yelled.

'Arf arf arf? Yip yip!'

'I beg your pardon? I'll have you know I've travelled hundreds of parsecs through space before I crash-landed on this planet! I will not put up with your insulting speak, you mangy glob of slobber!'

Luigi was about ready to scold Shinypants for talking to his pet like that, until he realised that Shinypants was _communicating_ with his pet. He struggled against the janky suit, but managed to turn around to get a better look at the robotic head.

'You... you can understand him?' He asked. 'Like, have a two-sided conversation, understand him?'

'Why, of course I can!' Shinypants replied. 'I am fluent in over seven million forms of communication.'

'Seven... _million_?'

'It is what I am programmed for, Master Luigi. And I must say, your troublemaking pet could certainly use some etiquette lessons.'

Luigi was simply stunned. He barely knew _one_ form of communication, and here was this guy knowing over _seven million_!

Brad snapped his fingers. 'Oh! Thanks for reminding me, Robby. Luigi, you need one more thing.'

The Mini-Oozer rummaged through a trunk on the set, and fished out a small object resembled a clip-on earphone.

'I found this just a few hours ago, in some old car in the garage. Turned out to be a universal translator thing. You'll need it for your role.'

Luigi got a quick glance at the 'universal translator thing', seeing what appeared to be an E. Gadd symbol, before Brad clipped it over his ear.

'**Seven million forms of communication... yet you don't know a single form of self-defence.**'

Luigi looked around the room. Who the heck was that voice? Had someone else invaded their safe haven?

'If I weren't just a head, I'd show you what I'm capable of!'

'**Oh really? What do you do?**'

'I, er... I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction.'

'**Oh, I get it! You keep blabbering on so much, most opponents hurtle themselves off cliffs just so they can stop hearing you talk.**'

It took Luigi getting through a lot of disbelief until he realised that overly sarcastic voice was coming from _Polterpup_. He put two and two together in seconds, and it made him smile.

'Hey Polterpup!'

The dog stopped laughing at the robot head. **'Yes, Master?**'

'Thanks to this universal translator thingy Brad just gave me, I can understand you!'

Polterpup's jaw fell wide open, while Shinypants insisted a mere earphone could never replace him.

'**Wait, you mean it? Repeat after me - pickled fish lips.**'

'Um, pickled fish lips?'

'**YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME!**'

The excited puppy bolted to his owner, high on pure happiness. Luigi laughed alongside his doggy's joy, until he realised that his dog was coming at him very, very fast.

He tried to put his arms up, looking more like a badly-controlled puppet. 'Wait! Stop!'

Too late. Polterpup bashed into the metallic chest and sent Luigi plummeting backwards with a heavy clank. Polterpup proceeded to lick his cheeks to death.

'**You can understand me! YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME!**'

Normally, Luigi would get back up. Unfortunately, it turned out that falling over in that suit was almost literally a death sentence. He didn't know how to even begin getting up from that position.

'Um... help?'

* * *

Scarlett could've helped Brad get the suit together, but she just had to see Morty's reaction to Meryl's insistence on improving past perfection. Daisy stood in the corner, her face totally bare of any make-up not already there, and pouted. Meryl had her own make-up messed up, and she stoically faced down a distraught Morty.

'I am so sorry, Morty, but eet seems zat our newest actress refuses to let me improve her perfection further.'

Morty stammered for a bit. 'What... what are you saying, Meryl? When I said help her, I meant get her into character. Help her prepare her spirit for the greatest moment in her lifetime! Not slather her perfect face with your cursed powders and eyeliners!'

Scarlett chuckled. This argument only got funnier every time.

'But I do not understand.' Meryl said. 'I do agree zat Miss Daisy ees as perfect as zey get, but why do you always insist zat any given actor ees perfect?'

'BECAUSE, my lovely assistant, they ARE always perfect! Short, tall, fat, skinny, light, dark, alive, dead, missing three limbs... all are perfect! No... MORE than perfect! And sweet, fiery Daisy... she is MORE than MORE than perfect! Unless the scene demands it, we never mess with our actors' perfection!'

Daisy blushed a little. Not even Luigi ever got to this level of flattery. She couldn't believe her initial distrust. Even though he was as dramatic as you could get, she had to admit that he was pretty dang nice.

'DAISY!' Morty cried. 'It is time for us to start filming the first scene! Your co-star is done up in the most amazing of costumes, and is ready to go.'

'Wait, huh? But I haven't read the scr-'

'I can guarantee it to you Daisy, that this will be a movie of not just your lifetime, but your afterlifetime too! Ever heard of 'carpe diem'? SEIZE THE DAY, ACTORS! Make your lives EXTRAORDINARY!'

* * *

**SERLIDA AND B-GO**

CAST LISTING -

PRINCESS DAISY as SERLIDA - The heroine of the story. Has a fiery passion and great strive for justice, but is hard-headed and impulsive. Loves saving and helping others, but can get carried away. Talented pilot and shooter.

LUIGI as B-GO/BEEGIO - Serlida's cyborg friend. Timid and scared of everything, but has a strong heart. Hates getting into adventures, but will do what he has to. Mostly comedic relief, but contains great potential.

POLTERPUP as BUDDY - Beegio's loyal ghost dog. Will defend his owner fiercely. Was not originally in the treatment, but Luigi insisted he join the movie.

* * *

**SCENE ONE, OUTER SPACE**

Daisy giggled. 'Nice costume. Can you move in it at all?'

Luigi, with great difficulty, waved at her. 'Uh, not well.'

There they were, on the Sci-Fi set. The ramp to the oddly-shaped ship was still out, except this time the awe-inspiring lights on the inside had been turned on. Morty stood behind the camera, looking at the beginnings of his masterpiece through the lens. Scarlett, Brad, Angelina, Leonardo, and Meryl chilled behind him, and Shinypants's head rested in Scarlett's arms.

'Now, my wonderful actor and actress,' Morty announced. 'Get onto that glorious ship and take your place in the cockpit!'

Daisy raised her hand like a student. 'Question! Where the heck of the script?'

'Script? My movies do not have a script! Why force my actors to conform to someone else's written word when they can unleash their genuine real selves? My actors simply get on stage and GO! That is how the best movies are made!'

And if the two weren't already worried about what was to come, they definitely were now.

'Is it too late to-?' Daisy began.

'We must start this beautiful scene at once! This scene will engage our anticipating audience immediately, drawing them into our epic adventure! Here, they will get their first impressions of the fiery and determined Serlida, and the timid but kind Beegio. It's a perfect introduction! ONWARDS!'

Seeing as they were now stuck in this situation, lest they say 'no' to such a friendly and enthusiastic ghost, they proceeded up the ramp. Daisy got on without an issue, but thanks to the cumbersome costume Luigi needed Polterpup pushing on him to get him up.

The ship set looked far more impressive on the inside. The ramp led directly into a futuristic but grungy tunnel. Daisy rushed down it, to where the signs said the cockpit was. Luigi instead took his sweet time, checking out all the impressive details. It wasn't like that confounded outfit he had to wear let him walk fast in any way.

Approaching the cockpit, Luigi took note of everything, like all the buttons and pipes that spanned almost the entire walk. When he finally found the four-seated-cockpit, he also saw Daisy already in the front left seat with her hands on the wheel. With even more difficulty than the costume already put him through, he slowly sat down in the right front seat. Polterpup took his own seat behind Daisy.

The cockpit was loaded with buttons, most of which without any sort of legible labels. Daisy turned the wheel about aimlessly, still not entirely sure what to expect.

'Alright Mr Morty,' She said. 'I'm ready for my close-up.'

'Scene one!' Morty declared. 'ACTION!'

Just like the Micro set, this one transformed as well. The blue screen vanished, replaced by the vast emptiness of space itself. And it wasn't just static either. You could tell by the moving stars that they were flying through it too.

And just like the set transforms, so does the prose.

LUIGI and DAISY look on with shock at the sudden change of scenery. Luigi watches it in utter awe.

LUIGI  
(mesmerised)  
Wow... it's beautiful...

DAISY  
(looking all around in shock)  
Wait, this is a script format now? How the heck did that happen?

LUIGI  
(looking at her in confusion)  
Um... what are you talking about?

Daisy is about to answer his question, but decides it's best not to. She glances down at her steering wheel.

DAISY  
(wondering out loud)  
Wait, so will the wheel actually work?

For the heck of it, Daisy tilts the wheel forward. This results in the ship diving straight down in a nosedive. Which is impressive, seeing as there is no down in space.

Luigi screams in complete panic.

DAISY  
(no less panicked)  
Oh sweet Grambi!

Daisy pulls back on the wheel, getting the ship to fly straight again. She waits for Morty to yell 'CUT', but he doesn't. So Daisy continues the scene.

MORTY  
(off-screen, in his usual dramatic fashion)  
Allow me to catch you up on the scene! Our heroic Serlida has had to flee her home planet when a horrific beast attacked her city! She and her best friend Beegio have been forced to escape into space for a chance of survival! But little do they know that the beast has sent her space soldiers after them!

DAISY  
(looking completely shocked)  
Wait, what?! Excuse me? What the heck kinda plot is that?

MORTY  
(seemingly oblivious to her comment)  
The best kind, my actress! The kind that knows not to conform to any restrictions. The kind that just has fun with itself! A fun movie is a great movie!

LUIGI  
(smiling)  
I like it!  
(smile disappears as a horrible realisation dawns on him)  
Wait, after _us_?!

MORTY  
You and no-one else! Now, don't think too hard about it. Just throw yourself into the story and have fun! And most importantly, don't take it too seriously. Acting is a glorious experience that should be fun for everyone! GO!

Luigi and Daisy sit in silence for a few moments, wondering what to do next. Daisy decides to not give a poison mushroom and just wing in. She leans forward in her chair, and puts on an overly-serious face.

DAISY  
(dead serious to the point of comedy)  
We barely escaped with our lives, Beegio. That horrific beast decimated all we knew and loved. Worse yet, she gave us cookies that were TOO CHEWY!

LUIGI  
What.

DAISY  
If we have even a chance to survive, we have to go-  
(pause)  
wherever the heck we're going. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night...

Luigi laughs at her over-acting, before realising he should say something too. Unfortunately, the knowledge of the camera locks him up a bit.

LUIGI  
(stuttering like crazy)  
Uh-uh, um, y-yeah, the evil beast and her space- wait no, they haven't appeared yet. Um, I am here to, uh... something something.  
(puts his face in his hands, with difficulty)  
I've already screwed up, haven't I?

MORTY  
Do not worry, my amazing Luigi! We'll simply fix this all in post!

SHINYPANTS  
(off-screen)  
Preferably by dubbing my voice over his!

SCARLETT  
(off-screen)  
The more you complain, the less likely that'll be.

The scene continues peacefully for about two seconds, when a flurry of green lasers fly past the windshield. Both heroes yell in surprise, while POLTERPUP seems to be having the time of his life. A swarm of several ENEMY SPACESHIPS - which resemble your typical 'dinner plate UFOs' - fly into view, firing green lasers at our heroes. Fortunately, their aim is poor.

DAISY  
(facepalming, speaking like she was in some cheesy 80's cartoon)  
Great galloping galaxies! The beast has sent out her space soldiers to blast us into space dust! Oh, I should've known someone as evil and despicable as her would hunt us down like this while we're fleeing. That fiend! Destroying our homes was one thing, but this is a whole other layer!

Luigi tries to hold his arms up, but the restrictive moment won't allow it.

LUIGI  
(terrified)  
Luke! Uh, I mean... look! D-Do something Dai- I mean, Serlida! They'll kill us if we let them!

Daisy narrows her eyes.

DAISY  
Not if I can help it! FIRE AWAY!

Daisy presses a random button, and... confetti falls on her. Groaning, she presses another. This results in disco music playing with accompanying lights, until she pushes the button again. Frustrated, she hits a third. This one actually fires some lasers at one of the enemy ships, destroying it in a glorious explosion. Because explosions can happen in the vacuum of space now.

DAISY  
YEE-HAW! I love the smell of gunfights in the morning!

Luigi is breathless. Literally, he can't breathe at all, despite this being a time he'd breathe like nuts. Considering his character is a cyborg, it's most likely the camera magic is preventing him from breathing.

LUIGI  
(trying his hardest to point)  
L-Look out, Serlida!

One of the enemy ships fires a shot, which is heading right for their windshield.

DAISY  
Not if I have anything to say about it! This baby may be a hunk of junk, but she's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy!

Daisy grabs the wheel and DOES A BARREL ROLL! to the left. She has her seatbelt on, but Luigi does not.

LUIGI  
Wahhh!

He tumbles out of his seat and lands in a heap. If he had a stomach - which he apparently didn't have now either - he would be throwing up profusely.

LUIGI  
(moaning)  
Owie...

DAISY  
(leaning forward in her chair, turning the ship around and firing at more ships)  
Sorry Beegio. I'd love to help ya out, but if I don't demolish these space rats soon, we'll all be sent tumbling.  
(waits a moment)  
See? There aren't any left.

Cue the PEW PEW that makes her fling the ship around haphazardly.

LUIGI  
(still on the floor)  
There are too!

DAISY  
(grumbles)  
Look Beegio, I can already bust ghosts by hand. Don't make me do everything solo! I don't need your attitude!

Luigi looks at her incredulously, as if thinking 'you are already WAY too into this'. Due to the sheer impossibility of moving in that suit, he is stuck on that floor until the end of the scene.

LUIGI  
(alerted to the above paragraph)  
Wait, what?! The ENTIRE scene?! Do... do I get to do _anything_ in this scene?

Daisy fires at the last of the enemy ships, and flies the ship straight through the scattering rubble. She twirls her arm around like she was using a lasso.

DAISY  
Oh yeah! WOO! Taste that, you... you... nerfherders!

LUIGI  
What's a nerfherder?

DAISY  
(still happy)  
I have no idea! But now, with those blasted enemy ships eliminated, we shall now continue going wherever we were going!

Daisy flies the ship a bit more, swaying it side-to-side for no other reason than it being fun as all heck.

DAISY  
Ya know, with how awful this whole experience has been so far, this floor has been quite the ray of sunshine.

MORTY  
AAAAND cut!

DAISY  
(smile fading)  
Wait, cut? No! No no no!

Her pleas meant nothing, as the vast emptiness of space returned to a mere blue screen. The ship went from flying through the air to mounted to the floor. In other words, everything returned to normal.

Daisy slumped forward, making some sort of whimpering-moaning sound. 'I was having fun too...'

Luigi tried to use his arms to push himself up, which ended as well as you think it did. 'I wasn't.'

'Oh! Sorry, sweetie!'

She leapt out of her chair and helped Polterpup get the costumed plumber to his feet. The suit had to weigh almost as much as Luigi himself. They exited the ship to Morty giving them a very enthusiastic round of applause.

'Bravo! BRAVO! That was the greatest acting I have ever seen in my afterlife! Of course, ALL acting is the best, but yours is the best of the best of the BEST! I could sense the passion in your voices!'

'Hmph!' Shinypants said. 'I would've done the role much better than this plumber.'

Scarlett glanced down at him. 'I can and will chuck you across the room if you don't shut up.'

'Shutting up, ma'am.'

Daisy gave her 'supporting fans' a cocky smirk, perfectly in-character for Serlida. Luigi put on a nervous smile, unable to do much else. Though he already adored Daisy's role, he couldn't say he adored his own.

Was playing useless comic relief all he would do? If he was going to be in a movie, it would be to _escape_ reality, not to be faced with it some more.

'Keep up the good work,' Morty continued. 'Because we are moving onto THE NEXT SCENE! This time, the Forest set!'

* * *

**SCENE TWO, FAIRY FOREST**

The 'Forest set' was through the green TV, the third from the left, and appropriately named too. It looked like a calm little forest with a small dirt cleaning, with a quaint cottage fit for seven little children off to the side. The whole set was full of calm greens and soft browns, and a well in the middle to boot. Compared to the last one, this one was far more relaxing.

'Okay, here's the scene.' Morty said, moving his arms about as he described the story. 'This is the planet that you daring adventurers have landed on. Here, is the Fairy Forest, a sweet little place populated by adorable deer, rabbits, skunks, the occasional flying elephant, maybe a vulture or two. Just get into the scene and go!'

While Daisy immediately went into place, Luigi approached Morty as shyly as he normally approached people.

'Um... M-Mr Morty?'

'Does my brilliant actor have a question? Is the robot suit becoming too much for you? Would you rather work behind the scenes? Perhaps you request a meal, cooked only by the finest chef around, my friend Gordon Soulfflé?'

Luigi was unable to fumble his hands or even strum his fingers against the flashlight with that horrid suit on, so he had no way to battle his nerves. Taking a deep breath, he went for it.

'I-In the last scene, all my character got to do was, um, be silly comedic relief. I don't need to be the main star or anything, but do I get to do... anything else?'

Morty pat him on the metallic back. 'Do not fret my young man! Though Beegio may only seem like the comedic relief at first, I can GUA-RAN-TEE that your character will get an epic moment!'

Luigi had no idea what that meant, but he supposed he'd know when it came. So he got on scene, and waited for his cue.

'Scene two!'

With the camera on, the simple set transformed into a vast yet magical forest, straight out of a Disney movie. Because that's precisely what it was.

Little butterflies and dragonflies - that seemed to be carrying a whole circus train for some reason - flutter by, and a bunch of rabbits followed by a friendly fox and his doggy friend scamper away.

(Director's Note - I can assure you that fox is quite friendly. He's friends with the rabbits, actually. They solve crimes together.)

LUIGI smiles at the cheerful sight. POLTERPUP enjoys himself by running around, secretly hoping this wasn't the kind of movie where the dog dies.

LUIGI  
This place is a lot nicer than the last, isn't it Dai- er, Serlida?

Luigi focuses on a DOE in the distance, accompanied by her FAWN son. The two make an adorable sight. The fawn looks especially happy.

(Director's Note - All animals in these scenes are fake. Just a heads up.)

DAISY  
(smiling at the sight too)  
Okay, that is freaking adora-

DAISY is cut off by the sound of a gun shot. The doe falls over dead. The fawn begins to bleat, which to the audience and Daisy is unintelligible. Luigi, however, hears the fawn saying 'Momma?', in a scene so suddenly dark it's almost funny.

SHINYPANTS  
(just as shocked as them)  
Oh my!

Luigi and Daisy stare at the display in stunned horror, not helped by how the overall tone of the forest hasn't changed at all.

MORTY  
(talking like he didn't just witness a baby deer getting orphaned)  
Now, here's what's going on. You heroes are navigating this seemingly peaceful forest in search of civilisation after you crash-landed on this planet.

DAISY  
(indignant)  
What?! Crash-landing? My flying was much better than that!

You can hear Scarlett, Brad, Meryl, AND Leonardo snickering over the fact that she sounds more like Shinypants than Luigi does.

MORTY  
(continuing like she said nothing)  
When a dreadful dragon suddenly appears and tries to attack you!

Luigi rattles like an unstable Jenga tower.

DAISY  
(casually)  
Oh, I guess that's-  
(realising what he just said)  
Excuse me, WHAT?! You wanna repeat that?

There is no time for Morty to repeat, as from a group of innocuous trees emerges a GIANT TERRIFYING DRAGON, covered in sharp black scales and armed with claws that put Pantherkitty's to shame.

Luigi emits a high-pitched scream, unable to run away thanks to the suit.

DRAGON (PLAYED BY MORGAN, A MINI-TRAPPER POSSESSING THE SUIT)  
(in a gravely, cackling feminine voice)  
After that wizard gave me quite a struggle, it'll be nice having some easy prey! HA HA HA!

The seriousness of it is ruined by the fact that it's obviously an animatronic, thanks to its joints and wires showing. An impressive one, but an animatronic nonetheless.

LUIGI  
(either not quite realising this, or being terrified anyway)  
AAAHHHHH! Serlida, do something!

DAISY  
(narrows her eyes, giving the dragon a dirty/threatening look)  
RUUUUUN!

Daisy follows her own advice, turning around and running for her life while making a rather un-tough sound. Luigi tries to follow her but, as you can guess, the clanky costume prevents him from running much at all. His 'running' more looks like he had a horrible bladder accident.

LUIGI  
(at the top of the lungs he didn't have)  
SEEERLIIIDAAAA!

Daisy skids to a stop, and realises her moment of stupidity at expecting him to follow her like that. This comes too late, as the Dragon grabs him by the waist and lifts him off the ground.

DAISY  
(in utter shock)  
BEEEGIIIOOO!  
(overdramatically)  
CURSES! The Beast has sent out her righthand-man, er, dragon! I cannot believe that beastly horror!

This is not part of the script.

SHINYPANTS  
What?! The Dragon being sent by the Beast was not part of the original-

MERYL  
You know, zee beast has a taste for metal. Eet would be a shame if-

SHINYPANTS  
Yes, yes! I understand!

Polterpup floats up to the Dragon's face, and growls at her. She responses nonchalantly by puffing smoke into his face, making him cough and splutter a little.

LUIGI  
HEEEELLLLPPP!

DAISY  
(cracking her knuckles)  
Here I come, Beegio!

Dashing through the woods to save her screaming friend, she notices that the Dragon has no bottom half but plenty of gears and wiring exposed. Nice.

DAISY  
(sarcastically)  
Wow. Good job, prop department.

Daisy makes her way climbing up the beast of a dragon prop, while Luigi screams all the while. The cyborg is brought all up and personal with the Dragon and her razor-sharp teeth. Not to mention her awful breath.

LUIGI  
L-L-Let me go! I'm programmed for translation and diplomacy, not for fighting dragons!

DRAGON  
Well well well! A metallic meal. I haven't chomped metal for years! I'll take my sweet time with this one, because it's not like a heroine could bravely save you or anything. Hint hint!

The Dragon goes for her first bite, biting Luigi's left arm and RIPPING it clean off. Luigi screams in horror at the sight of his arm, his actual arm, being ripped painlessly from his shoulder. The Dragon chomps and swallows.

DRAGON  
Mmmm! Delicious!

DAISY  
(showing up out of nowhere)  
LET MY FRIEND GO, YOU REPULSIVE REPTILE!

With her eyes on fire - thanks to the special effects - she punches the Dragon straight in the eye. The Dragon cries out in pain, falling to the ground. She drops Luigi, who plummets into the forest below. Luigi slams against the well they saw before back-first. Though the suit does a good job absorbing the shock, it still hurts. He can't even wheeze in pain. He then sees his missing left arm.

LUIGI  
AAAAHHHHH!

The only plus side is that the cursed Dragon is gone. He, with great struggle, stands up back. On the walls of the well, he can see a mouse holding a magnifing glass, and a duck wearing a sailor outfit. In a fit of frustration, he slams his remaining hand into the water of the well.

LUIGI  
(getting angry)  
I'm just here for comic relief, aren't I?!

Suddenly, a blue humanoid monster girl with squid hair and sunglasses pops out of the water, like it was a horror movie. This is SADAMURA YAMAKO, and she has scared the heck out of Luigi.

LUIGI  
Waahhh!  
(very frustrated)  
COME ON!

Daisy and Polterpup emerge from the bushes and rush to the well too. Polterpup is notably unnerved.

DAISY  
(proud)  
Oh yeah! I came, I saw, I kicked its a-!  
(scared and concerned)  
UM?! Who's that?

SADAMURA  
(pointing into the woods, speaking with a raspy voice)  
Flylolvdwlrq lv wkdw zdb...

Daisy and Polterpup share the same 'huh?' expressions, while Luigi narrows his eyes in concentration.

DAISY  
Uh... the fairest of them all is locked in a tower thanks to her ice powers?

LUIGI  
She says... 'civilisation is that way'.

DAISY  
(confused)  
Wait, you can understand her? For real?

LUIGI  
(nods)  
I am a translator. It's what I was programmed to do.  
(much more quietly)  
Am... am I doing this right?

Daisy looks in the direction Sadamura is pointing. She sees no civilisation, but instead that cottage. Clouds of fairy magic shoot out of the chimney, alternating pink and blue.

DAISY  
(unsure)  
Uh, you sure civilisation is that way?

SADAMURA  
(frustrated)  
Flylolvdwlrq lv wkdw zdb, brx vwxeeruq lglrw!

Luigi snickers to himself, as much as he doesn't want to. It helps mask the horror of his missing arm.

DAISY  
Wait, what did she say?

LUIGI  
Uh... you're better off not knowing. S-Shall we get going, Serlida? Buddy would like to head off.

Daisy's eyes dart to the missing limb. She can't quite get over it, so matter how much she tells herself it's just movie magic.

DAISY  
Well, I may not trust a random lady in a well, but I certainly trust your programming, Beegio.

As our trio of heroes began their trek to civilisation, Luigi has stopped caring about his phantom limb. Now his focus is more on the word 'programming'.

'AND CUT!'

Fortunately, Luigi's arm came back the moment the camera turned off.

* * *

**SCENE THREE, SUNSET CLIFF**

It seemed that both Luigi and his robotic friend had their own inner conflicts, albeit different ones. While Luigi hated his role as nothing more than cowardly comic relief, Beegio hated his mostly robotic nature instead.

Something that would become much more obvious in the next scene.

'AND ACTION!'

Compared to the other sets, this one is far more plain. It consists almost entirely of a seaside cliff with a bench, overlooking a beautiful sea that the sun is setting behind. Despite its plainness, it is gorgeous.

LUIGI, DAISY, and POLTERPUP arrive on the scene, sitting on the bench and staring off into the sunset. Daisy has to shelter her organic eyes, but Luigi's optical receptors are unaffected. Polterpup perches himself by his feet and takes a nap.

DAISY  
(sighs blissfully)  
Isn't it beautiful? With all the crap we've been through together, it's nice to just relax.

LUIGI  
(forlorn)  
Yeah, it's... it's nice.

Daisy notices her robotic friend's sadness.

DAISY  
Hey, don't worry about the arm. The moment we find a new home, away from that Beast and her dragons, I'll get ya a new one. And THIS one will not be red.

LUIGI  
(still sad)  
It's not the arm. It's... something else, that's been on my mind for a while now.

DAISY  
What's wrong?

Luigi debates if he should have this conversation, but upon seeing her awaiting eyes feels he must begin.

LUIGI  
(in a surprisingly heartfelt performance)  
Do I... really belong?

Daisy's eyes widen in shock.

DAISY  
Woah! Where did this come from?! Did our 'script' foreshadow this at all?

LUIGI  
I-I don't know, but... look around. Everything is living. I'm... I'm not really living, am I? I just don't feel like I fit in.

Daisy has no idea where this came from, but she has a feeling it's fuelled by his real life experiences.

DAISY  
Wh... what do you mean?

LUIGI  
Look at me, Serlida. I just emulate feelings. I just simulate thoughts. I may have been organic before but... frankly I don't remember anymore. When you, um, found me, I was already like this. So... maybe I was never truly alive. I'm... I'm just a machine.

Daisy smiles, and puts her hand on his shoulder.

DAISY  
(genuinely)  
Beegio... you're alive to me.

Luigi's cheeks, unfortunately, can still blush. And they do so intensely.

LUIGI  
(stammering in embarrassment)  
Um, I, uh... I-I'm sure it's, uh, unorthodox to fall in love with a cyborg.

DAISY  
(trying not to laugh)  
Listen honey, 'unorthodox' is my life.

Polterpup jolts awake, hearing something emerging from the water. He begins to bark wildly, as the camera refuses to show what he's barking at.

LUIGI  
What is it, Buddy?  
(looking up, suddenly terrified)  
OH MY MAKER!

DAISY  
(falling to the ground in shock)  
What in the-?!

The camera finally turns around, showing a GIANT LIZARD BEAST, somewhat resembling a Godzilla rip-off. Look at it too hard - for about a second - and you'll see that it's only half a costume with a Goob tail sticking out of the bottom half, but the lacklustre effects don't make it any less scary for our three actors. The Beast roars, splattering them with slobber.

BEAST  
HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S Beastie!

Luigi tries to flee, but falls flat on his face. Polterpup barks angrily. Daisy helps Luigi up, and glares at the giant beast.

DAISY  
(absolutely furious)  
Why can't you just leave us alone?! If you insist on chasing us, then I'll teach you the real meaning of pain!

The Beast cackles, leaving poor Luigi even more terrified.

BEAST  
(dialogue translated for audience)  
Oh please. What makes you think you can take me on? Look at me! I am a beast of DEATH who ruined your entire planet! MUA HA HA HA!

Daisy cocks an eyebrow.

DAISY  
Come at me!

POLTERPUP  
Yip yip!

Spoilers - Daisy cannot take her on. At all. Neither can Polterpup. Both are entrapped in the Beast's grasp, thus leaving the one-armed and petrified Luigi by himself. Daisy tries to break out, but fails.

DAISY  
Let me go, you lousy lizard!

BEAST  
Ha ha ha ha! As if I would give you up that easily!

The Beast glances down at Luigi, who is shaking at the knees. The mere sight of him makes her cackle.

BEAST  
Listen buddy, this ain't between you and me. Robots are nice. Unlike those humans!

DAISY  
(even more angry)  
I don't know what you're saying, but I know it isn't nice!

Luigi's eyes widens as he realises that Daisy cannot understand the Beast like he can. The Beast acts like Luigi isn't there at all and floats out the water, making her unfinished costume more obvious. She begins to float away into the distance, towards a city against the skyline.

LUIGI  
(heartbroken and terrified)  
Serlida! Serlida! DAAAIIISSSYYY!

* * *

**SCENE FOUR, CITY SET**

'Okay, so this is the scene.'

'Um, I think I'm a bit too big for the set.'

'Exactly! A scientist's lab was blown up, and one of their inventions shot you in the chest. And it turned out that it was an embiggening ray, that increases your size twenty fold!'

...

'What.'

'So now you and that abhorrent beast are the same size! Will you defeat that horror and save your friend, proving you truly are a hero, or will you fall and become another victim to her reign? Or, maybe - just maybe - diplomacy is the answer. ACTION!'

LUIGI wanders into the city set, noting that he is twice as tall as most of the buildings, and he currently stands on an city island of sorts that's connected to others via a bridge. A car prop runs into him and crashes into the water somehow.

LUIGI  
Oh, sorry!

He continues his way down the miniature street, hoping he doesn't accidentally crush innocence civilians.

DAISY  
(off-screen, distressed)  
Beegio! The Beast is keeping me tied up on the tower to your left!

POLTERPUP  
(also off-screen)  
Arf arf! Yip!  
_(Translation popping up on screen via subtitles)  
__Yeah, good dialogue there Princess._

Luigi turns to his left, and sees the tower that 'DAISY' and 'POLTERPUP' are tied to. In reality, they're just tiny cardboard cut-outs that resemble them, attached via string.

LUIGI  
(slightly confused)  
Um... are those really the best effects we have? I-I mean, you're capable of removing one of my arms but not-

BEAST  
(off-screen)  
RRAAARRRRARRR!

LUIGI  
EE-YOW!

Luigi jumps around - impressive considering how hard jumping in that outfit is - and spots the BEAST right behind him. The buildings behind her have been reduced to ashes and soot. Off-screen, I suppose. Just as Morty said, Luigi is now as big as her. Well, more correctly she was as small as him, but it's the illusion of it all.

DAISY  
Beegio! Get outta here while you still can!

Luigi backs up, his knees shaking like crazy. The Beast seems more confused by his presence than anything.

BEAST  
Wait, you again? Buddy, I told you that you don't need to be a part of this.  
(pauses)  
Is it just me, or did you grow a couple feet taller since we last met?

DAISY  
(angrily)  
Let me go so I can put your head on a pike!

BEAST  
(glances at her - er, the prop of her)  
Yeah, have fun with that.  
(turns to Luigi)  
This battle doesn't concern you, Metal Butt.

Luigi backs away, holding up his one arm in self-defence.

LUIGI  
(still scared despite being her height now)  
L-Listen, it doesn't have to be like this. We... we can be friends. Surely.

BEAST  
(scoffs)  
As if a cyborg would know anything about friendship.

LUIGI  
(a little offended)  
Hey! I'm programmed to be friendly. Well, actually for communication, but what difference does it make?

MORGAN (the Mini-Trapper a couple scenes back)  
Oh my Jaydes... what is dialogue?

The Beast gives Luigi a death stare that rivals his own, much to the detriment of his nerves. He is shaking on the spot.

LUIGI  
Um... uh... I think what we've got here is a failure to communicate.

BEAST  
Okay, listen, a gunslinger once tried to take me on. I ate his liver with some propeller-shrooms and a nice Hoolumbian.

The Beast's eyes glow orange, and with no other warning she shoots a fireball out of her mouth.

LUIGI  
(insert girly scream here)

Luigi jumps out of the way, the fire singeing his exposed wires as it passes by. It goes on to hit a skyscraper and destroy it instantly in a wonderful fiery explosion.

BEAST  
You... you were supposed to stand still there.

LUIGI  
Like I would do that!

MORGAN  
Hmmm... consistent characterisation too...

BRAD  
Do you mind?

The Beast growls, and fires another fireball. And about five more. Luigi avoids every one, though they get closer every time. Several buildings are destroyed in the process, one of them due to Luigi accidentally bumping into it.

LUIGI  
Ah, sorry! Oh, I really hope this city's been evacuated.

The Beast cackles, enjoying the destruction she is causing just a little too much.

BEAST  
Well, yeah, it is. But your concerns for the citizens are... wait. You feel concern for them?

LUIGI  
Of course I do! What, you assume that just because I'm programmed a little differently than others that I can't care?

Even as he says this, Luigi thinks that it's a little on-the-nose. But that's what this whole production has been, so why stop now?

BEAST  
(speechless for a moment)  
Woah. Where did that come from?

LUIGI  
In fact...

At this point, Luigi has decided he might as well go all out.

LUIGI  
I bet the only reason you're tearing up civilisations is because that's what people thought of you! You're just a victim of prejudice, constantly battered by the universe like some sort of chew toy!

The off-screen crew have no idea what any of this is about.

MORTY  
Yes! YES! This is the raw emotion that my audience will be craving!

DAISY  
Uh... don't you think it's a little spontaneous?

MORTY  
Exactly! The audience will be thrown for a loop! I can hear it now... 'I have no idea where this came from, but it is POWERFUL'. It's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get!

The Beast stops for a moment, as if considering his stance.

BEAST  
(growling)  
You don't know anything about me! You're... you're just a robot!

The Beast's eyes glow blue, and she fires out a big blue ball of fiery energy from her mouth. Luigi, out of fear, holds his one good arm out and tries to stop the ball with his hand. To everyone's surprise, it manages to stop it. Albeit, only for a few moments. It expels all its energy at once, sending him flying backwards into the bridge. Despite sustaining no real injuries, it still hurts. He wheezes in pain.

DAISY  
LUUUIIIGIII!  
(a pause)  
Oh crap, wrong name. Is that a-?

MORTY  
We cannot not redo such a perfect take! If we can not fix it in post, than it will simply have to stay!

DAISY  
Uh, alright then.

Luigi, with as much difficulty as you'd expect, manages to get up. He can feel the suit cutting away at his skin for real. The Beast approaches him, green flames seeping out of her snarling mouth.

BEAST  
I don't care if you're my size or not. You gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, Metal Butt?

LUIGI  
Um... not really.

The Beast fires out another ball of energy from her mouth, but this one bigger and green instead. It moves towards Luigi at a slightly faster pace than the last one too. Luigi narrows his eyes, and holds up his one arm again. Like before, he stops the ball in its path. Unlike before, he manages to hold it in place. The Beast looks very, very shocked.

BEAST  
(amazed)  
Wh... what? HOW?!

Luigi gives her his trademark death stare.

LUIGI  
I'm fighting back using the powers of JUSTICE!

Please ignore all the off-screen cast-members giggling like high-schoolers at a sex-ed class.

LUIGI  
Justice for the damage you've caused, and the damage you can make up for!

With the 'power of justice' - what the actual f*** am I writing? - Luigi manages to not only stop the energy ball but _deflect_ it too. It starts flying back at the Beast.

BEAST  
No... NOOO!

Apparently unable to defend herself against her own fire balls, she is hit square in the face. In a slow, dramatic fashion, she is thrown to the ground and destroys many buildings as she bounces into the water.

DAISY  
Yeah! Ya did it, Lui- I mean, Beegio!

POLTERPUP  
Yip yip!  
(I don't know what you did, but you did it!)

But the battle is not over yet! The Beast re-emerges from the water, and... oh dear. Our entire cast is left in silence for a few moments.

BEAST(?)  
Um, what's everyone looking at?

Luigi is blushing profusely, while everyone is asking the important question... who's gonna tell her?

BEAST(?)  
What? What?!

LUIGI  
(clearing his throat)  
Um, you're a little... naked.

Turns out that getting hit by that energy ball reduced the Beast costume to ash, leaving nothing more than SIGOURNEY THE GOOB standing there without her costume. She looks down at her 'naked' body, shrieks, and covers up her chest.

SIGOURNEY  
This wasn't meant to happen!

Silence falls on the set as everyone wonders what to do now.

DAISY  
Can't we just-?

MORTY  
No! We cannot do a retake! Only the first take will have that genuine energy!

Just as Scarlett and Brad are about to suggest calling the whole thing off, Luigi settles for simply winging it.

LUIGI  
(gasps)  
Beast? You were a ghost possessing a beastly costume this whole time?

SIGOURNEY  
(barely keeping up)  
Um, uh... yes! I definitely was this whole time! Not at all intended to be a beast from the gecko - uh, get-go.

LUIGI  
But... why did you do it?

Sigourney gives him a glare for forcing her to make something up.

DAISY  
(face-palming, though you can't see it)  
Good lord, _The Thief and the Cobbler_ probably had a less crazy production than this.

MORTY  
That's what makes it so FUN!

A few seconds of awkward silence pass before the scene continues.

SIGOURNEY  
Because, uh... because I was always left out by the other ghosts because I was, um... too big. I mean, look at me! I-I don't even know how this happened. But it, uh, it did. It definitely happened. Those mean other ghosts, they, um... destroyed Rosebud! Rosebud being my, um... sled?

You can hear Daisy's sanity draining, but the ghosts and SHINYPANTS seem to think this is totally fine.

LEONARDO  
Sigourney was never one for improv.

DAISY  
(face buried in hands)  
I got that!

You still can't see it, but Morty is leaning over his camera in excitement.

LUIGI  
I see. So we're both outsiders of a world that doesn't like us for our differences. You're a giant, while I'm a cyborg.

SIGOURNEY  
Uh, y-yeah. That.  
(aside)  
You better fix this dialogue in post. I freaking hate improv.

Luigi approaches her with his only good arm, holding it out and inviting her in.

LUIGI  
I know you've destroyed a lot of things...

DAISY  
Uh, Beegio, what are you doing?

LUIGI  
And forced tons of people to flee... and nearly got us killed multiple times...

SIGOURNEY  
You wanna get to the point so this awkward as heck scene can just end already?

Luigi blushes.

LUIGI  
Uh, r-right. The point is... no matter what you've been through, no matter what you've done - to, uh, a limit of course - you can still redeem yourself. You can still prove that you can do good.

Sigourney, finally in the scene for real, smiles and takes his hand. Despite following the scene, she's still highly confused.

SIGOURNEY  
You... you really think I can change?

LUIGI  
(attempts to shrug but it's impossible, for several reasons)  
Beast, I, uh, _think_ this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

The two outsiders shake hands, in a scene that's really cheesy yet also kinda nice.

DAISY  
Great! Now are you gonna-?

MORTY  
Aaaaaand CUT!

* * *

Daisy slumped her shoulders. 'Okay, that ended a little abruptly.' She smiled. 'Oh thank Grambi, that script format is gone for good now! ... Right?'

Absolutely. Never. AGAIN. Once the illusion of the camera set disappeared, Luigi's arm returned to him and the city revealed itself as nothing more than a set behind that big '5' wall. All the friendly ghosts applauded their newest stars, including the ones who weren't on set this scene.

**CLANK!**

And that was Shinypants's head falling to the floor after Scarlett forgot she was holding him.

'GAH!'

'Oh, sorry!'

Sigourney wiped her brow. 'Ah geez... you have no idea how much I hate improv.'

Luigi's attention was squarely on Morty, wondering when was the last time he saw someone that happy. The director tossed his clapperboard and megaphone aside, and yanked out the two reels of film from his camera. He held them even tighter than he did his megaphone.

'This is it!' He declared. 'With the basics of these scenes I shall create the greatest movie anyone in this room has ever seen! No... anyone in this WORLD- no, anyone in this UNIVERSE has ever seen!'

Morty tucked the reels under his arm, and without warning dashed to Luigi's side.

'Ah!'

The plumber tried to jump back in shock, but only accomplished falling over backwards. Luckily, Morty grabbed him by the shoulder and put him back on his feet.

'OHHHH Luigi! I can't possibly thank you and sweet Princess Daisy enough!'

Luigi blushed some more. 'I-It was nothing. The camera was a little scary, but-'

'What? Oh no, Luigi! I'm not talking about the movie, or the camera, or any nonsense like that.'

'You're... not?'

Morty shook his head, and glanced at his megaphone on the floor.

'It's your HEART I'm talking about, Luigi! Your compassion! Your KINDNESS! When I lost my precious megaphone, you stepped forward to help me in my time of desperate need. I thought no one would dare approach me while I was trapped in an endless void of sadness! But you... you DID! You cared none for any sort of prize or reward. You did it because you WANTED to.'

While Luigi stood there not knowing how to take this cheesy yet sweet speech, Daisy pulled the elevator button out of her pocket and looked at it. It helped remind her just how correct Morty was.

Daisy thought about it. She knew that if it was just her, she would've taken that button and gone. Not because she didn't care, but because she had better things to worry about. At most, she would've done all that only for the button. Seeing her flustered plumber dealing with the sudden praise made her smile. Whatever an abrasive woman like her did to deserve such a sweet man was a mystery to her.

'That's, uh, q-quite fine.' Luigi said. 'I just wanted to-'

'But you cannot go unrewarded. It simply will not do! Alas, I have nothing that is worth your kindness. If I could lift up this very hotel from the GROUND and give it and all the treasure within it to you, that would be but an ASTEROID in the UNIVERSE of your kindness!'

Daisy rolled her eyes, but with a smile.

'BUT. There is one thing I can give you.' Morty continued. 'I promise you that this movie will make you a star. Everyone in the galaxies shall know your name! The entire universe will bask in the glory of LUIGI, the Shy Hero! And, of course... DAISY, the Fiery Warrior!'

Morty hugged his film reels again, and turned to the rest of his crew on the sidelines.

'And as for all of you... you were all amazing! Polterpup, Scarlett, Brad, Angelina, Meryl, Morgan, Sigourney, T-1000...'

'Oh for goodness... my name is-!'

'You were all fantastic! Without you guys - whether you helped build the sets, possessed the props, or were even moral support - I never would have succeeded in even starting such a fantastic work! I'll have to put everyone's name at the beginning instead of the end... but now!'

He ceased his 'little' speech for a moment, making sure that every ghost, mortal and robot head was paying full attention.

'I must retreat to my office. That is the place where I shall be editing my movie into glorious fruition! I want no one else but my assistant Meryl in there with me. Do not disturb me while I am in there! Editing requires my absolute attention!'

Meryl nodded. 'As you wish, boss. I expect zis movie to be fun to put together.'

'You got that right!'

The grand ghost and his Oozer assistant flew around each other like a double helix, floating like they were heads-over-tails in the clouds. They disappeared into the director's office, leaving the rest of the crew to relax.

'I was doubting that dialogue at first.' Morgan said, stretching out his two tongues. 'But holy ECTOPLASM that brilliantly cheesy ending just nailed it!'

'No kidding.' Scarlett said, holding onto Shinypants's head again. 'The end product oughta be fantastic, but sweet Luvbi has _any_ Morty production gone this weird before?'

Luigi mostly ignored the friendly ghosts chatting among themselves while Shinypants complained some more. It was at this moment that Morty's speech about kindness and stardom fully sunk in.

'I'm a star!' He declared in the cutest voice you've ever heard. 'Made it, bro! Top of the world!'

He threw up his arms in celebration, not quite realising the effects that the force of such a movement would have on him. The bad feeling sunk in when he realised that he was slowly falling backwards.

'Uh oh... WAH!'

And he hit the floor and lay here like a poor, defenceless Koopa.

'Help!'

'Oh my Jaydes, I forgot!' Brad said. 'Time to get that costume off you!'

* * *

'And... there!'

By the time Brad and Sigourney had got the clanky suit off him, Morty had called Shinypants - and, by extension, Scarlett - into his office to do a bit of redubbing. Turns out that 'timid Italian dork' was not quite Morty's original vision for Beegio. Luigi didn't really care at all that his voice would be replaced. The first thing he did once free was move his fingers. He almost forgot how to do it. At least he got to keep the 'universal translator thing'.

'Well sweetie,' Daisy said. 'You happy now that you've helped Morty out?'

'Oh yeah!'

As much as it saddened Luigi to leave his new ghostly friends behind, he knew they simply had to leave. Preferably, as soon as possible. He waved to them goodbye, as they did just the same thing.

'Bye! Goodbye! Bye-bye!'

'Aight, let's go capture Morty.'

'Goodb-' His attention snapped to her. 'Daisy! We can't do that. He's our friend!'

'Hey hey hey, it was just a little joke. As if I'd want to capture someone who gave us the button no questions asked.'

While they headed for the elevator to go to the next floor, Daisy looked at the button in her hand with dreamy eyes. If it wasn't super important, she'd keep it for the rest of her life. She'd keep it as a reminder. Not just for her new ghost friend, but also to remember how Luigi's kindness lead to her movie career.

And to remind her that jumping the gun could result in losing a friendship before it began.

* * *

**Author Notes - Well that was just about the dumbest thing I've ever written. I have a feeling these two chapters will either be loved or hated. Oh, did I mention that, because I figured these two chapters might have mixed reception, you've already gotten the next chapter by the time you've read this sentence?**

**I told you they wouldn't betray Morty. If they did, they wouldn't be able to watch the full movie, would they?**

**Unsurprisingly, a lot of things were referenced. That Forest set, for instance, was LOADED with random references to Disney movies. And once again, some movie quotes.**

**Luigi's fun times in the robot costume are inspired by a fifty minute video on YT where Anthony Daniels talks about **_**his**_ **fun times with his 'Shinypants' costume. If you're a **_**Star Wars**_ **fan (or god forbid a C-3PO fan), you **_**have**_ **to check it out. Also I bought Daniels's book and I freaking love it.**

* * *

_A young Morty - only five years old - was so excited to see the premiere of Snow White and the Seven Toads!_

_He thought the backgrounds were freaking gorgeous, and Snow White was such a beauty to behold. He laughed when the poor Koopa couldn't keep up, and when Sneezy sneezed so hard Dopey went flying. Bashful was utterly adorable, and Grumpy was lovable despite his jerkish attitude. __And that dance scene... so beautifully done!_

_The Evil Queen terrified him, especially her haggish disguise. Imagine that - someone so pretty becoming so ugly! And when Snow White died... he cried. And so did the rest of the theatre... __But then the Prince arrived, and when he kissed her awake everyone cheered!_

_Morty couldn't believe it! That movie, well, moved him! It was the greatest thing he ever saw! And he saw how much the audience loved it. He wanted that. He wanted to spread this joy to others himself._

_He would make his own amazing movies! __And when his dad bought him a shiny red megaphone, he knew he'd keep it forever!_


	17. Throw the Cat a Bone

**Author Notes - This is a chapter I have been waiting for. Let's go!**

**Some necessary disclaimers I think I should have by now - I did not rip anyone off, and unless you have sufficient evidence I don't want you accusing anyone else of ripping me off. Whether it be TheGameNguyener, Crystal Rose of Pollux, or anyone else writing a Luigi's Mansion 3 story. Inspiration may be taken (I wholeheartedly admit to taking inspiration from the aforementioned writers myself), and I require multiple cases of suspicious similarities before I start accusing people. Mostly because I was tempted to accuse TGN over something that I don't care about anymore (read: don't go after him, please)****.**

**I am saying this as I am worried about unintentional idea overlap. TGN started before me but since I have no life and thus far more free time I am updating much quicker (not to say I'm better than him; it's just a fact... god, that sounds so gloaty), and I have already found that we - by accident - ended up having similar ideas. King MacFrights speaking in 'Ye Olde English' is a stellar example of this. Let it be known that, as far as I am aware at least, moments like this are purely coincidental.**

**Now, if I feel like I _am_ getting ripped-off, I'll be the one to decide that. ****Of course, it might be the case that no one gives a crap and this entire rant meant nothing. Either way!**

**No new favourites/follows to mention since this chapter was posted immediately after the last one.**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - THROW THE CAT A BONE**

Charles had stalled out this meeting long enough.

'Hellen Gravely,' He said with total seriousness. 'As someone who has been here since the very beginning, I suggest you call off the plan.'

'You. Suggest. WHAT?!'

Hellen Gravely slammed her hands into her desk hard enough to leave a noticeable impact. Polterkitty jolted awake from her nap with a shriek. It scared the ever loving sunshine out of Charles, but you wouldn't have been able to tell by his stoic expression.

'Your plan is falling apart at the seams. Luigi has made it to the ninth floor, and he's captured practically every ghost he's seen. Not to mention the might that princess has. Admit defeat, Hellen, and he might just spare you.'

Hellen gritted her teeth, her entire body beginning to glow an eerie red. Charles backed away, well aware of what this could potentially lead to.

'We can't give up!' She boomed. 'Not when everything fell perfectly into place. Every plan before now has been an absolute success!'

'And yet, the one that's actually important - the one that'll win your 'boyfriend' over - is crumbling away.'

Already, Charles regretted responding in such a snarky way. The regret was not unfounded, as Hellen screamed the loudest she had that night. She grabbed him by the neck and dragged him so close, their faces nearly touched. His stoic façade disappeared as he was up close and personal with Hellen and her soul-breaking death glare.

'Charlie!' Sam cried from just outside the office.

Hellen grasped Charles's neck tighter, tight enough that it would kill any mortal.

'Listen to me, Charles! Who's fault is it that my plans are failing? NOT. MINE! If you workers had it together, I would have Luigi by now. King Boo would finally be mine forever, and you and the others would be swimming in riches!'

Charles held back a scoff. The very idea of her paying them anything worthwhile would be funny if it weren't so painful.

'I had everything planned out perfectly for you imbeciles to follow! Even a brain-dead Goomba could've done it. It's all your fault! HOW WILL KING BOO EVER LOVE ME NOW?!'

She breathed heavily, and shoved him away. To keep her anger in check before _it_ happened, she lathered on her make-up even more heavily than usual.

'Hellen,' Charles said. 'I am telling you this for your own good.' He left out the part where her capture would only be beneficial to _him_ and _his_ family. 'Luigi is stronger than you think. He stood up to an angry Amadeus. No other mortal could even hope to live through that.'

'Then clearly, Amadeus was holding back. Like he always does! Failures, the LOT OF THEM!' She sighed. 'If only my plan didn't rely on them...' Her glare snapped to Charles. 'What are you still doing here? GET OUT!'

Charles did just that, backing out while keeping his eye on her in case she chucked something his way.

'Leaving. Leaving. And... left.'

He drifted through the entrance and slipped through the wall to his right. There, he saw his wife waiting for him. And she seemed more than a little worried.

'She's _still_ dedicated to this?' She said. 'I just... what?' She paused. 'Where's our boy? Tell me he's safe.'

'I haven't seen Lou in a while. Last time I saw him, that little Hammer was watching Luigi in the delusion idiot's castle.'

'When the Green Kid was in the-? That was hours ago! Our little boy could be in danger!'

'The only thing Lou needs to fear is our 'wonderful' boss finding him.'

Meanwhile, Hellen Gravely felt so mad she had to bring it out on something. Anything. She grabbed the first thing she saw - her mirror, one of many - and with another shriek tossed it at the wall.

'MIAOW!'

It narrowly missed Polterkitty as it slammed into the wall, its broken glass scattering. The cat jumped to her paws, her fur standing on end and her eyes wide open.

'Look at what you made me do!' Hellen yelled.

Polterkitty hung her head in shame. No doubt Master's fit of anger was caused by her failing Master the first time.

'I'm sorry, darling.' Hellen said, with feigned remorse. 'But if you want to make up for that, you'll need to bring Luigi to me. _Directly_.'

'... Meow?'

And she found grabbing the button to be cruel enough. With how nice and timid Green Man was, it made her question if he was really the one Master wanted.

'But be careful, my sweet Polterkitty. That man has captured many of our friends. Even Amadeus, when he was just trying to defend his daughter!'

Polterkitty looked at her doubtfully. Their 'friends', huh? Right after insulting them no less. Still, she felt grief in her heart for all the friends they'd lost.

'Don't trust that man! Bring him back no matter the cost and present him to me! It will make up for all your mistakes in the past.'

That was all the motivation that Polterkitty needed. What an opportunity. If she brought back Green Man, then Master would finally forget King Boo and pay attention to her again!

* * *

When the elevator arrived for floor number nine and opened up, our heroes noticed something right off the bat: the floor was completely silent. The last few floors weren't exactly loud themselves, but they were a full classroom compared to the utter void of this museum.

Polterpup stepped out the elevator cart first, sniffing around intently. To his surprise, he picked up practically nothing paranormal. But he did love that smell of bones, which was absolutely everywhere. Luigi looked up in awe. In the little alcove the elevator opened to, a pterodactyl skeleton hung above them. Though it lacked everything but the bone, it still looked ready to kill. With how quiet everything was, there was a good chance it'd come to life and attack him.

'Oh, a dinosaur exhibit huh?' Daisy said, stepping out and admiring the place. 'Gonna compare the skeletons to Pokémon again?'

'Uh, maybe?'

'Good. It's really cute when you do that.'

Aside from the unsettling silence as opposed to bustling people, the place seemed to be no different from a regular old museum. Still out of place for a hotel, but whatever. Directly in front of them was a little reception desk, with a little toy dinosaur resting on it and no one at all sitting on the chair. Like the hotel tracker suggested, it split up into two pathways that connected on the other side of the elevator, making the hallways a square.

Daisy walked down the hallway to her right. Not wanting to be alone, Luigi went right too. Three gigantic bones were hung up again the wall next to the alcove, and in the corner stood a glass case. It contained a pearl and a purple dinosaur-foot-shaped gem. To Luigi's disappointment, neither item had any information to read. Still, he stared intensely at that shiny purple gem. It reminded him of those gems he collected in the Gloomy Manor, thanks to its hue. The pearl was a lot like those the portrait ghosts from the first mansion dropped, and it looked like a big one.

Daisy waltzed through the hallway, marvelling at the prehistoric plants that decorated the walls even thought they looked incredibly fake. At least the complete velociraptor fossil, encased in a slab of solid rock, seemed legit. Unlike the glass case, this one had information.

'Velociraptor.' She read out loud, in case Luigi wanted to know. 'A small but fast - up to 64 kilometres or 40 miles per hour - dinosaur that attacked in herds.'

Polterpup would marvel at the fossil with her, but he was too busy drooling over the huge bone that took up the entire left wall of the hallway. Apparently, according to its information, it was once part of some sort of epic Blaarg.

'**Oh, I don't care if it's made of rock. It looks yummy as heck!**'

Luigi wanted to listen to Daisy reading out random dinosaur facts, but he simply couldn't focus on her. Something other than her voice filled the silent void - rustling leaves, coming from the other path.

He left the gem behind, and walked to the other side of the elevator hall. He went past the three fossilised eggs in a big rock - one of them seemed to be missing - and past another glass case that contained what it claimed to be an ancient Yoshi egg. The hallway on this side of the room had been taken over by those plastic plants, to the point where it resembled a fake jungle. Only the floor was free of the decorative flora. The leaves were almost completely still, except for some very slight rustling.

With how lifeless, even more so than usual, the entire floor was, he couldn't imagine anything - life or afterlife - lurking around.

'Hey Luigi, look at-! Luigi? Where are ya?'

A horrible chill went through every vein. An eerie vibe emanated from the plants above, one he could recognise. He stepped through the overgrown hallway slowly, keeping his flashlight pointed at the ceiling. As he began to approach the giant (and slightly horrifying) triceratops skull at the end, he began to once again doubt his instinct. There was nothing awaiting him in those plants. Surely, if there was, it'd already come out by now. Right?

_Something_ fell to the ground behind him.

'AHH!'

He jumped around, every nerve locking up. Now he knew why the vibe felt so familiar.

'RRAAARRRRR!'

'Luigi!'

As the beast before him bared her long, knife-like teeth, he muttered the name of this familiar creature.

'_Polterkitty_...'

She had not come in her sweet little kitty form though. Oh no. She had gone straight for her hulked up panther form instead. All three tails were back, and she was no less bulky than last time. Nor any less angry. And unlike her last encounter, she was going straight for the kill.

Luigi had been thinking about that spectral kitty ever since he first encountered her. And here she was, yet again. Right in front of him. He knew he wanted to do something, but what? What could he do to accomplish his goal?

'Polterkitty?'

Daisy arrived on scene, skidding on the floor just behind him. The moment her eyes lay upon the ghostly cat, they filled with rage and narrowed.

'You!' She yelled, pointing an accusatory finger. 'I had hoped we were done with you. But I guess making things worse for us and forcing my Luigi to play bait just wasn't good enough for ya, huh?'

Polterkitty, remaining stationary, looked at her and growled.

'**Coming from the lady who ripped my tails off!**'

Luigi's eyes widened. That voice came from the kitty. Of course, the universal translator! If it could translate Polterpup barking, why not Panthergeist growling?

Wait, he could understand her. _He could understand her. _He took a single step closer. Polterkitty bowed her head and hissed.

'**Get away from me!**'

He went as still as a statue. Now he could truly see the real emotion in her eyes. Not anger. Not disgust. Not malice. Just fear.

'Daisy!' He cried. 'She's just scared!'

She looked at him like he was insane. 'Um, excuse me? You call trying to rip you to shreds being scared? You sure about that?'

'I'm certain Daisy!'

Polterpup growled at the Panthergeist, staying by his owner's side. The moment Polterkitty leapt out, he would immolate her. She hissed at him, but didn't take a single step forward.

Daisy groaned. 'I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Sometimes, you're too innocent for your own good. She's Hellen Gravely's pet, remember?'

'But why does that make her evil? Why can't you trust her?'

'She's given me no reason to trust her! She tried to kill me!'

'Because you attacked her first!'

Daisy stopped bothering with trying to win and just rubbed her temples. It seemed Mario's stubbornness had rubbed off on him.

'You know what? Fine.' She said. 'Try to redeem her or something.'

Luigi didn't like her tone, but still took the grant of permission. Holding onto his flashlight for the worst case scenario, he approached the hissing panther with care.

'Hi there, Polterkitty.' He said in a calm voice.

The fur on Polterkitty's back stood up. She lifted her paw and extended her claws further.

'**Make this easy, Green Man!**' She said, not expecting him to understand her. '**I have to deliver you to Master!**'

'But why?'

Polterkitty stared at him in shock. '**Wait... you can understand me?**'

'Not on my own, but I have this electronic... thing. That's not the point. Why do you-?'

'**It's what Master wants. And Master gets what Master wants!**'

Luigi frowned. If it wasn't clear enough to him already that she wasn't doing this on her own will, then it certainly was now. _That Hellen Gravely... what else does she force this kitty to do? _He stepped closer, not noticing her muscles getting more tense. Daisy was two seconds away from pounding her into ectoplasm, only fighting the urge for Luigi's sake.

'It's okay, Polterkitty. You don't need to do this. If Ms Gravely makes you do things you don't wanna do, then I can-'

'**LIES! Only Master would love someone like me!**'

The words made Luigi heart sink. What was that hotel owner telling her?

'**And if I don't bring you to Master...**' She winced. '**Master might punish me!**'

'What?!'

Luigi had yelled that much louder than he usually would, but it was the only way to release all that concentrated anger.

Daisy could only follow one half of the conversation, leaving the other half mostly a mystery. Judging by Polterpup's sad eyes and drooping tail though, it wasn't any happier on the kitty's side either. If as that justified anything.

'If Ms Gravely is willing to do that to her own pet,' Luigi said. 'Why are you still with her?

'**It's my fault if I mess up. Master just gives me what I deserve!**'

Luigi clenched his bare fist. How badly he wanted to tell her how demonstrably untrue and destructive that line of thinking was, but he knew changing a point-of-view like that took much more time than he had.

'**Don't worry.**' Polterkitty continued with a shaky voice. '**Master never hits me.**'

'That doesn't make it okay!' Luigi cried.

'**How would you know? Orange Lady slapped you! I can see the mark on your cheek. Master would never hit me like that!**'

Luigi narrowed his eyes. Conflating a one-time instinctive act with constant power and control? How could she...? No. It was not Polterkitty's fault. None of this was her fault. With a sigh, he came to the conclusion that words simply weren't going to cut it.

'I gave you the chance for a conversation.' Daisy said. 'Now it's time I grab that cat and-!'

'No! I can't give up now!'

She sighed. 'It isn't worth it. Diplomacy never worked before, so why would it work now?'

Luigi didn't have an answer. Ignoring her - as much as it pained him to do it - he walked towards Polterkitty one step at a time.

'Luigi? Luigi! What are you doing?!'

'I have to try.'

He reached his arm out, intending to get close to her head, no matter how dangerous it sounded. As he approached her, the glare and energy she gave off got more and more angry.

'**Stop trying, Green Man! I am loyal to Master, and nothing you can do will change that!**'

Luigi almost gave up. Was he wrong? He made his intentions clear, didn't he? Why would Polterkitty still want to hurt him? Then he noticed where she was looking: not at him, but the flashlight in his hand. Of course! She was scared of the Poltergust, not Luigi himself!

'Wait, Polterkitty! I'm not going to-'

He was so caught up in this new revelation that he didn't notice the Panthergeist lifting up her paw to strike him down.

'LUIGI, LOOK OUT!'

Daisy shoved him out of the way, not caring one bit for her own safety. She couldn't comprehend what she was seeing, but she felt two long scythes drag through her chest and not let go until they cut all the way through.

'AAHHH!'

The impact sent Daisy tumbling backwards to the floor. She struggled to breathe through the intense pain in her chest. She sat up, trying her damnedest not to cry despite the agony.

'D... DAISY!'

Luigi couldn't believe it. He felt sick to his stomach.

The strike left two long gashes in Daisy's chest, tearing straight through her shirt. Though the gashes didn't look too deep, they began to bleed. And Daisy could feel her energy draining away with her blood. She gritted her teeth and muttered expletives; anything that would keep the pain at bay. Even through the burn she glared at the one who did it.

'An innocent little kitty, huh?' She wheezed. 'Get over here... so I can rip out all your tails this time...'

Luigi felt like he was in the middle of two major conflicts. His heart screamed at him to rush to his princess's side, but his brain told him not to turn his back to Polterkitty.

'Polterpup,' He said. 'Stay by Daisy and don't leave her for a moment.'

'Luigi!' Daisy yelled. 'Why are you still doing this... after _that_?!'

His heart sank from the guilt. Never had he ever doubted his own actions before. Polterpup's angry barking spiralled out of control. Still, he refused to give up.

'Polterkitty...'

The cat seemed more surprised than anything that he chose to keep trying, in spite of the human blood on her claws.

'**You see that?**' She said. '**If you don't surrender, I'll do the same to you!**'

The threat meant nothing to him. If anything, he deserved the lacerations far more than Daisy. He wished they were his instead.

'Polterkitty, you don't need to be scared of me.'

'**Scared? Of you? You... you're a coward!**'

'Please, listen to me. You have to listen.'

Polterkitty, against her better judgement, lowered her bloody paw and allowed Luigi to continue. Just to humour him, really.

'I do not want to hurt you. I really don't. I just want us to be friends.'

'**Friends? W-With the likes of you?!**'

'I mean it.'

'**Only M-Master would ever be nice to me!**'

Luigi sighed. He could hear what she refused to show: the fear in her voice upon mentioning her 'master'. No way in the Underwhere was he going to let her continue living in fear.

'You have to trust me.'

'**M-Master told me I can't trust anyone, and Master is always right! You'll just c-capture me, like you did with all those other ghosts!**'

With the trembles in her voice, Luigi knew she only half-believed those words. A realisation dawned on him; with that Poltergust on his back, she'd never trust him. He knew what he had to do.

'Polterkitty, I'll prove I'm not here to capture you.'

'**And how are you going to do that?**'

Without another word, he slipped off the Poltergust straps, and held the ghost-busting device in his hands. Keeping eye contact with the panther beast, he tossed his weapon aside like a used rag. Its clanking echoed in the quiet hallway.

'Luigi!' Daisy yelled. 'Have you just lost the will to live or something?!'

Polterkitty gawked at the Poltergust resting against the wall, unable to comprehend the fact he threw his only weapon away.

'**You... I... you can't be serious! Now there is nothing stopping me from taking you to Master!**'

'I am serious. And I'll prove it.'

He reached his arm out again, approaching the kitty in the least threatening manner possible. Polterkitty didn't even have it in her to attack him again. She was just too shocked at his courage. He was a coward, scared of all. Where did this bravery come from?

'Luigi, she's going to rip you to shreds!'

As if she'd do that. She couldn't return to Master with Luigi in ribbons, now could she? Luigi got close enough that his hand was a mere inch away from Polterkitty's teeth. Though he showed bravery on the outside, in reality he was petrified that he'd lose a hand.

_This is a bad idea_. His brain told him. _She's going to rip your hand off. _But he didn't care about some lousy hand.

Polterkitty looked up at him, what little malice there was in her eyes totally gone. Just like him, she went through her own inner conflicts. Should she trust him, despite Master's words? Was it worth the risk of punishment? She closed her eyes, and bowed her head. Luigi did what he would do to any cat - stroked it on the head. His hand didn't go through. It made him smile - he did it.

'That's right Polterkitty... I won't hurt you.'

Polterkitty couldn't believe the feeling of his glove running through her fur. It felt so... nice, and relaxing. So much better than bony fingers or long nails scrapping against her skin. In fact, it was so nice that she did something she hadn't done in years: purr. It just made Luigi smile more. Daisy could only watch the whole thing with her mouth wide open. She didn't just see that, right? It wasn't really the same beast who had just scratched her, right?

In a flash of bright purple light, the hulking panther disappeared and was replaced by an ordinary house-cat ghost.

'Miaow?'

She needed more of those pats. They were almost as good as catnip! Luigi knelt down, and scratched the underside of her neck. Enjoying this even more than before, she stretched out her neck and lowered it so much that Luigi's hand touched the ground. His heart soared once again, not just for his plan succeeding but also for just how freaking cute she was.

'Mrow!'

'That's right, Kitty. You're with us now.'

Now she really reminded Luigi of Polterpup, another paranormal animal causing trouble when all they wanted was love.

'AHEM?!'

Daisy caught his attention. He winced, seeing her staggering off the floor as she tried to fight against her own weight dragging her down.

'Daisy!' He cried, running to her side. 'Can... can you stand?'

The princess dragged her body upwards, groaning with what little air remained in her lungs whenever pain soared through her nerves. She knew the answer was 'no', but she was fighting to make it 'yes'.

'Yes, I'm...' She wheezed through teeth clenched tight. 'I'm alright...'

She leaned up against a pillar, her breaths coming out short and restrained. Luigi cringed, feeling her physical pain in his own chest. The gashes didn't look like they'd be lethal, but that didn't help the pain Daisy suffered.

Luigi choked. 'We... we have to go back to the professor. He might have something to help it. Or, at least, stop it from getting infected.'

Daisy stepped away from the pillar, fighting against the dizziness attacking her. Her glare did not leave Polterkitty alone.

'No.' She said. 'We've already wasted enough time making that movie. I can keep going.'

'But you're in pain!'

Polterkitty watched with wide eyes. She decided to join him not even a minute ago, and he already dropped her? He couldn't have. Not so quickly. But there he was, focusing on another. She couldn't lose him too!

'MIAOW!'

He didn't even glance her way. She rubbed her head against his legs, mewing and purring non-stop to return him to her.

'Not now, Polterkitty.' He said.

The feline cringed. 'Not now Polterkitty' was the only thing Master ever said during the first few years of her King Boo obsession.

'MIAOOOOW!'

'KITTY!' Daisy yelled. 'SHUT IT! The world doesn't revolve around you!'

Polterkitty shuffled away, her eyes wide with fear. Even Polterpup looked distressed from the volume of Daisy's voice. Luigi wasn't going to get mad at Daisy, or at least he'd try not to. He looked at the panicked kitty, and then back at Daisy.

'Don't yell at her.'

'And why **not**?'

'She... she's been Ms Gravely's pet for who knows how long. I don't think she knows, um, how to behave anymore.'

Luigi knelt down to Polterkitty and gave her another scratch under her neck. Her purring flared up again.

'I'm sorry, Polterkitty.' He said. 'I'd love to cuddle you some more, but I have to give Daisy attention.'

'**You're not going to forget about me, are you?**'

The man in green had to let that sink in. If that was her response... he didn't want to think about how Ms Gravely treated her.

'You just... came at a bad time.'

'SHE DID THIS TO ME!'

Luigi groaned as he stood up, looking at her with slightly more anger than he ever normally would.

'She was scared, Daisy. Of _me_. She meant to scratch _me_.'

'That just makes it worse! If she aimed for _me_, that'd be one thing, but _you_ never tried to attack her once!'

As much as Luigi wanted to defend Polterkitty at every step, he couldn't disagree with Daisy on that. He couldn't bring his eyes away from the bleeding cuts across her chest.

He sighed. 'But she's gonna make up for it.'

She cocked an eyebrow, her vision getting a little blurry. 'Uh huh. You sure? She 'switched sides' way too quickly. How can you be so sure that she _isn't_ planning on double-crossing us?'

Luigi fumbled with his hands. 'I... can't.'

'Arf arf?'

Polterpup approached the spectral kitty, bowing down and yipping in curiosity. Polterkitty jumped back, the fur on her back standing up, and lifted a paw as a warning sign. Polterpup didn't seem to care about her threat.

'**G-Get away! Master told me that dogs are mean, and dirty!**'

'**Who cares about what your old master said! You're not working for her anymore, are ya?**'

'**Well, I-**'

'**So relax and have fun!**'

Polterpup pounced forward, just enough to barely miss her. She scampered back in a rather clumsy manner, eyeing him as if he were an actual threat. Luigi smiled - of all the dogs in the world, of course Polterpup was the one who _didn't_ hate cats. Or at least gave them a chance.

Daisy breathed in harshly, her body shaking. 'Well, great. Polterpup has another friend now. Let's just get the button and hope it's the one that will lead directly to Hellen. So I can punch her in the face.'

Dragging her pained body around, she lumbered towards two red curtains in the middle of that back wall, past the giant triceratops head. The pair of curtains extended all the way from the ceiling to the floor, and had a dinosaur foot symbol in the middle. Her usual waltz of confidence was gone, and now she slogged about like a drunk man. She held her bleeding chest, doing little more than getting blood over her arm. Her breathing grew progressively harsher, while lightheadedness attacked her and tried to bring her down.

Luigi delivered a quick stroking to Polterkitty's back - making sure she wouldn't think he would abandon her - and ran over to his injured princess. The sight of her blood dripping over her arms made him feel sick to his stomach.

'Daisy, you can't go on like this.'

She looked up at him with her face incredibly strained, both from the pain and her desperate attempt not to cry.

'I'll... be... fine...'

A tear fell down her cheek. She fought back the lightheadedness with all her might.

***THUD***

Unconsciousness finally won the battle. Daisy fell to the floor with a weak groan.

'DAISY!'

Luigi knelt down, making no attempt to stop the tears flowing down his face.

'DAISY!' He cried again, his voice choking up.

* * *

'PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR! E-E. GADD!'

Luigi never thought he'd have to carry Daisy around anywhere. He had only made it back to the elevator until he found himself unable to carry her anymore. Thankfully, Polterkitty shifted to her panther form and allowed Daisy to lay on her back without question. Now, Luigi knocked on the door to E. Gadd's bunker, his face wet with tears and mucus. Daisy had not regained consciousness, but was still breathing.

Polterkitty felt weird having someone laying on her back, and not for the obvious reasons. It lit a small ember inside of her, a tiny spark of joy, and she had no idea why. Was that the warm flame of doing something right?

The door slid down into the floor, releasing puffs of steam as the steel slab opened the way up into the lab.

'PROFESSOR!' Luigi yelled.

E. Gadd sat in his chair, as if he never left, and was in the middle of attempting research on Hellen Gravely. He spun his chair around to the panicking plumber.

'Woah, sonny! No need to make such a hullabaloo. Now, what has you so-? EGAD!'

Parr T had stopped looking at all the pretty inventions the moment the door opened. For once, he had no words.

Luigi gasped for air. 'Never mind the cat! We need to-'

'What... what the _criminy_ happened to **Daisy**?!'

The plumber had no time to let E. Gadd setting his ghost obsession aside sink in. He rushed inside the lab, falling to his knees.

'Daisy! She... she... unconscious... hurt...!'

'It's okay, sonny! I'll see what I can do. Polterpup, I have a small bed over there. Let her lay on it.'

Polterpup nodded, and grabbed Daisy by the back of her shirt. Dragging her heels across the floor much more than Luigi was okay with, he lay her on a bed by the wall as carefully as possible for any ghost. She had not woken up. He sniffed at her, cringing from the heavy scent of blood.

Luigi wiped his face with his sleeve and looked at E. Gadd with begging eyes. 'You have to help her! If I ever lost her, I... I... I...!'

E. Gadd waved his hands around. 'Whoa-ho, sonny! I understand this is a lot to deal with, but panicking all willy-nilly won't help our princess.'

'B-But... what can I do? I have to do something to help her! Anything!'

The professor adjusted his glasses, and sighed. He proceeded to speak in a tone uncharacteristically solemn.

'Listen, Luigi. At this point, there is nothing more you can do. Getting her back here quickly was a great idea, but now it's time for me to take over. Do you understand, sonny?'

Snivelling non-stop, Luigi nodded.

'Good. Now, I want you to sit down and do whatever you can to calm yourself down.'

E. Gadd hopped off his chair and approached the unconscious Daisy. Since the bed was built by him, there was no need for any sort of step-stool. He climbed onto the bed, and looked closely as the gashes. Polterpup sat by Daisy, silently watching the professor do as he needed.

Luigi perched himself by the wall, sitting in the fetal position. Parr sat next to him, twiddling his thumbs as he debated what to say.

'You... you okay, Lou?' He asked.

The man in green didn't even look at him, and just stared into space. Past his blank stare, his mind flooded with random things. Anything that would help him relax, everything from his favourite Pokémon to wholesome moments with his big brother.

Polterkitty returned to her housecat form, unable to comprehend the situation. Even putting aside the fact that _she_ did this... why hadn't Luigi ratted her out yet? Why did he accept this so quickly, no matter how much it hurt him?

'Don't worry, sonny.' E. Gadd said. 'This is certainly not lethal now.'

'Y-You sure?' Luigi squeaked.

'Absolutely. She didn't faint from blood loss or anything like that. It was just over-exertion. But it's a good thing you got her here as fast as you did. If she kept bleeding, she might've lost too much. As is, she'll be fine.'

He reached for the bedside table and opened up the drawer. Inside, among other things, were cotton balls and a bottle of disinfectant. He poured some disinfectant onto some cotton, and dabbed it over her injuries. She winced.

'Ah, it seems our princess is coming to!' E. Gadd said.

Daisy awoke to a stinging sensation. She opened her eyes slowly, and saw E. Gadd hovering over her. Had she more energy, she probably would've screamed.

'What...? Where am...?'

'Back in the lab, missy! Luigi and some ghost cat got you back here before anything catastrophic could happen.'

'Lui...?'

Daisy glanced around, everything coming together into nothing but blurs. Amongst the greys and reds, she spotted some leafy green.

'Luigi? Is that...?'

'DAISY!'

Luigi jumped off the floor and charged over to his awakening princess, quicker than a cheetah leaping to her cub's defence. He cried tears of joy at the sight of Daisy awake. If it weren't for those painful-looking lacerations, he'd pull her into an immediate embrace.

'Daisy! You're okay!'

She chuckled, though it sounded more like coughing. 'What? You thought some little... scratches could keep me down?'

Luigi grabbed her hand and squeezed it like a sponge, holding it close to his chest. It hurt quite a bit, but Daisy was not going to ruin this for him.

'If you don't mind me asking,' E. Gadd said. 'How did you end up like this to begin with? Not even that pompous 'king' did something like _this_!'

Daisy looked to Luigi, as if expecting him to answer. His eyes darted around - how was he supposed to handle this?

'Um, well, you see-'

'Spit it out, sonny! This isn't some top secret or anything.'

Now Polterkitty was even more confused. Did Green Man just forget this was all _her_ fault? Judging by his stammering, he clearly knew. Whatever compelled him to hide the truth was beyond the panthergeist.

'MIAOW!'

Luigi yelped. 'Polterkitty, you don't-'

'So it was _you_ who hurt Daisy,' E. Gadd said. 'Wasn't it?'

Polterkitty nodded. She saw no need to hide the truth. With a little grumble, she lowered her head and waited for her punishment. It was different every time. Maybe today it'd be the brutal berating, or perhaps disabling her claws for a day again.

E. Gadd tapped his chin. 'Hmm, a ghost cat capable of transforming into a panther... I'll have to look into this! Luigi, stay by Daisy. Companionship is no substitute for modern medicine, but it certainly helps!'

The professor returned to his desk, and entered 'ghost cat panther' into a generic search engine on his computer. Polterkitty was beyond confused. Beyond puzzled. Beyond bewildered. It was utter discombobulation! First Green Man seemingly forgot it was her fault, and then Weird Guy didn't care at all. What was happening?

'Mrow? Miaow miaow?'

'Punish you?' Luigi repeated. 'Why would we do that?'

'Miaow.'

'Never mind Master! She's not important anymore.'

He turned back to his princess. Somehow, that fiery passion had already returned to her eyes, even though the rest of her showed nothing but pain.

'You weren't worried about me, were you?' She said with a smirk. 'If I can deal with a mind-controlling alien, I can deal with some little scars.'

Luigi's eyes fell onto those awful gashes. Now that she was laying down they had stopped bleeding, thank Grambi, but it didn't make them look any less painful. The blood had stained her shirt, making the whole thing look like it was straight out of a horror movie. He whimpered, feeling more physical pain in his own chest the longer he looked at it.

'Daisy, I am so sorry... You shouldn't have taken it for me. I was the one trying to befriend Polterkitty. I was the one taking the risk. Y-Yeah, it ended up working, but if it didn't... it would have been for nothing. And what if she... she...?'

Luigi stopped himself before he could go any further. If he kept going, he would've burst into tears right in front of her. How he hated his uncontrollable emotions sometimes. Daisy, fighting against his tightening grasp, pat him gently on the chest. Just feeling his warmth made her feel stronger.

'Luigi, sweetie, don't feel guilty. Don't bother with those 'what if' questions. 'If' didn't happen. You felt that diplomacy would work for once. And guess what? It did. Now we have another member of the team.'

His eyes widened. 'Wait, another member? You're letting her join us? I-I thought you didn't trust her.'

She shrugged. 'I don't. But you do. And as much as I wanna rip all three of those tails out, I trust _you_.'

He held her hand even tighter, much to her annoyance. No matter what happened, he still couldn't believe someone like him had someone like her for a partner.

'And anyway,' Daisy continued. 'I'm happy that I was the one to get struck instead.'

'Really? Why?'

'Well, first of all, I always wanted some real scars.' This answer got a chuckle out of Luigi. 'But, in all seriousness, it means that Polterkitty didn't hit _you_.'

Luigi adored that feeling of utter warmth and bliss that few people could spark within him. Only Mario, Daisy, and Polterpup could invoke that feeling.

'Mrow?'

The plumber looked at that kitty, sitting down and staring at him with begging eyes. He noticed the intense glare Daisy gave her.

'Polterkitty,' He said. 'If you're going to be a part of this team, you have to learn proper behaviour.'

'**What do you mean? I'm already very well behaved.**'

'Your first lesson is apologising to Daisy. It won't magically fix her wound, but it shows you feel bad.'

Daisy scoffed. 'Assuming she _does_.'

Polterkitty's eyes widened. Apologise? How long had it been since she did that to anyone other than Master? Still, Green Man said she should do it, so she would.

She hopped onto the bed, and came face-to-face with the consequences of her actions. Suddenly, she felt something she hated feeling - guilt. The yearning to apologise went from being because of obligation to an actual genuine urge. What an inexplicable feeling. The glare that Orange Lady gave her just made that feeling stronger.

'Miaow...'

Daisy looked to Luigi. 'Did she apologise, or say my face is stupid?'

Luigi stroked the kitty's head. 'A genuine apology. Good job, Polterkitty.'

He rewarded her with more scratches under the neck, which made her purr harder than before.

'Do you forgive her?'

Daisy said nothing, and simply glared at the spectral cat. Her eyes were heavy with distrust and bitterness.

Luigi sighed. 'That's fine. I don't expect you to forgive her right away after what she tried to do to me.'

'Heh. Too right.'

E. Gadd found precisely what he was looking for. He read a webpage for a ghost called a 'Panthergeist', a feline ghost who normally resembled a typical house cat that morphed into a panther beast when scared or angry. Judging by the few images all being either inaccurate sketches or blurry photos, they were hardly ever seen by anyone. What confused him was that every picture, as few and as unclear as they were, showed that Panthergeists typically only had one tail. One seemed to have two, but that looked to be more bad camerawork than anything.

'Hey E. Gadd,' Daisy said. 'You got any food around here?'

'Yes!' E. Gadd replied. 'In fact, I have my Marinator currently making an old family recipe - pickled dandelions with barnacles in a diesel marinade!'

Luigi wrinkled his nose and winced. It sounded no more appealing than it did before. On the contrast, Daisy licked her lips.

'Ooh, yeah. I'll take a bowlful of that.'

Luigi looked at her with a mix of shock and disgust. 'You serious?'

'I'm a sucker for diesel marinade. And besides, I really need a midnight snack.'

Upon hearing the word 'midnight', E. Gadd looked at her concerned. He glanced at his digital clock - that did not say 'midnight'. Not even close.

'Princess, it's four o'clock.'

She furrowed her brow. 'Huh. It's later than I thought it was.'

'In the afternoon.'

'WHAT?!' Luigi and Daisy yelled at once.

Daisy nearly sat up in shock, but the pain that suddenly coursed through her stopped her in her tracks.

'How?!' Luigi cried. 'It's pitch-black outside!'

'Only around the hotel.' E. Gadd explained. 'According to the cameras I have in your house, it's currently a very sunny day elsewhere. It seems King Boo thought it'd be funny to keep the hotel in constant darkness.'

Luigi groaned.

'Wait a minute.' Daisy said. 'If it's four in the freaking afternoon, then how long have we been doing this for? I could've sworn it was only a couple hours or something.'

'According to the few security cameras I've managed to hack, Hellen Gravely put her plan into action at about two in the morning. When Luigi awoke from his nasty fall, it was about half-past-two. When he saved you, it was almost five o'clock.'

'We've been at this for ELEVEN HOURS?!'

Luigi tried to let that sink in, but it really wouldn't.

'Well, you know what they say!' E. Gadd said a little too enthusiastically. 'Time sure flies when your life is in constant danger!'

Come to think of it, Luigi did feel a little bit sleepy. Eleven straight hours though... how did they do it? Pure adrenaline, most likely. Daisy just stared at the ceiling, totally shellshocked.

'Here's what I propose.' E. Gadd said. 'I give you all a bowlful of my delicious family recipe, and you get some rest.'

'Get some rest?!' Daisy said. 'We can't do that! What if - owww... if the ghosts attack us while we sleep?'

'In my air-conditioned lab? There's no way any ghost will penetrate it! And if anything does come to attack anyway, I'll wake you up before anything happens. Not to mention those claw marks of yours... you need it.'

Daisy groaned, half from pain and half from exasperation. She was in no mood to argue with him, and nor did she think she would win anyway. All she wanted at that moment was food and sleep. So, they accepted the deal.

E. Gadd gave them all a bowlful of his pickled dandelions with barnacles in a diesel marinade. The mortal couple sat on the bed next to each other, while the pets enjoyed their meals on the floor. Parr chose to have his by the container unit - looking at ghosts never got old.

Daisy gulped it down directly from the bowl, not caring at all about getting any on her already-ruined dress. Polterpup and Polterkitty both got their own servings, and while the dog devoured his in a single bite the cat took her time. Luigi felt ill from the smell of it alone, but with his empty stomach he had little choice. Groaning, he scooped by a spoonful and sipped at it. The taste was... alright. Much better than the smell, at least. No way he was eating those barnacles, though.

Daisy licked up what remained in her bowl. 'Mmm... I never thought to pickle dandelions. I always just fried them.'

The plumber was not going to question her taste. He sat his mostly empty bowl and spoon on the floor, and sighed.

'I'll sleep on the floor.' He said.

Daisy nearly choked on her food. 'Excuse me? After all you've been through? Heck no! You're taking the bed.'

He shook his head. 'No. You're injured. I insist. I can sleep anywhere, remember. Those pi'illos were solid rock when I slept on them, after all.'

She shrugged. 'Alright, I guess. But the moment you feel uncomfortable, we are swapping.'

With a yawn, Luigi slipped the Poltergust off his back and put it aside. He lay flat on the ground, and drifted off in seconds. Only he could fall asleep on cold hard metal.

E. Gadd blinked at him. 'My word! That boy falls to sleep faster than any ghost I've seen. I should study him sometime. I could finally invent a cure for insomnia!'

'Yeaaah, not today.' Daisy said. 'Right now, I just wanna sleep.'

She put her bowl on the bedside table, and settled herself down on the bed. It amazed her that Luigi could look so comfortable on such an awful surface. Polterpup cuddled up to his legs and fell asleep curled up right next to him. Polterkitty opted to sleep in an empty corner. She already missed her warm, soft bed, even if it smelled like King Boo and was filled with that sneeze-inducing powder.

'E. Gadd? Can you promise me that no matter what, you'll wake us up if something goes wrong?'

'Of course! I've been gulping down my delicious Lunoman Green blend all night!' A pause. 'Speaking of which, the bathroom is over there.'

'Noted. Make sure a cup of that is waiting for me when I wake up.'

With all the horrors going on in her head, she doubted she'd ever get to sleep. But with how much she had exerted herself, she conked out in a matter of minutes.

* * *

Polterkitty couldn't sleep. At least an hour had passed, and she hadn't slept a wink. Imagine that, a cat who couldn't sleep. She underestimated how important Master and her bed were for her. For one reason or another, her attention focused on Green Man, the guy who slept like a rock. He could've slept on spikes and still feel comfortable, something she thought came to a cat naturally.

She looked at Polterpup. The delighted vibes coming off that blasted hound were off the chart. He was so happy that his tail wagged even in the deepest of sleeps. When was the last time Master made her feel like that? What a silly question. Master would never treat her like that if she kept screwing up.

A horrible realisation dawned on her. How would Master approve of this little alliance? Simple - she wouldn't. At all. Polterkitty shuddered. If she hadn't screwed up before, she certainly had now.

She groaned. All she wanted to do was sleep! She was a cat, that's what they do. But she couldn't do it on such a hard surface. Doubts plagued her mind, but regardless she got to her paws. Scampering across the floor in a silent manner typical for a feline, she approached the sleeping man without attracting the attention of Weird Guy or Yellow Fun Guy.

His rising chest looked so comfortable. She stepped up onto the soft, warm fabric and perched herself like the Sphynx, with her paws tucked in. And just like that, she drifted off to sleep.

Luigi didn't open his eyes, but he lifted his arm up and stroked the top of her head with a content smile.

'Welcome, Gattina, to the family.'

* * *

_**POLTERKITTY, THE CUDDLY PANTHER**_

_AGE - An adorable kitty_

_GENDER - Female_

_Polterkitty was Hellen Gravely's pet. She worked for Hellen in a desperate attempt to win her love. When Luigi faced his fear and befriended her, she found out what true affection was and jumped ship. But perhaps her loyalties still lie with Hellen Gravely..._

* * *

**Author Notes - And thus begins the second half of Polterkitty's redemption arc! Did I mention that she'll be joining our heroes for the rest of the story? I am definitely a cat person, after all.**

**Polterkitty's situation is intentionally based on domestic abuse. Gravely's psychological abuse and Polterkitty's reasoning for not leaving, among other things, are inspired by reality. Not _my_ reality, if anyone's worried.**

**What's that? You weren't expecting a **_**Luigi's Mansion**_ **story to tackle the issue of domestic abuse? Just wait till you see my upcoming **_**Star Wars**_ **story about the civil war and extreme activism.**

**Credit to TheGameNguyener for the idea to have King Boo overcast the hotel in constant darkness. More specifically, the Chap 8 line - **_**"Unless King Boo put a curse on the entire area to make it perpetually dark," Luigi groaned. **_**Giving credit where it's due.**

* * *

'_Not now, Polterkitty. Can't you see I'm admiring my honey?'_

'_Not now, Polterkitty. I'm busy putting up my new King Boo paintings.'_

'_Not now, Polterkitty. We can cuddle later. I have arrangements to make.'_

'_Not now, Polterkitty. I can't have you ruining my King Boo perfume, can I?'_

'_I don't care how much you hate this powder! You must look cute for my sweetheart. Stop sneezing all over me and sit still!'_

'_You can't sleep on this bed! It's for me and my sweetheart only.'_

'_Come back to me when you do your damn job right!'_

'_Oh, my lovely King Boo... soon we will meet and live happily ever after.'_


	18. Walk (Away From) the Dinosaur

**Author Notes - Remember how I said Polterkitty is now part of the team? She'll be accompanying Luigi, Daisy, and Polterpup through the rest of the adventure. Don't be surprised if this becomes her story at some point.**

**I don't want Polterkitty to suddenly be good. I want us to see her journey of turning over to the light again (why yes, I **_**have**_ **been watching too much **_**Star Wars**_**).**

**The full, incredibly long, title of this chapter: Open the (Elevator) Door, Get on the (Ninth) Floor, Everybody Walk (Away From) the Dinosaur.**

**I initiate Stormknight186 into the elusive favourite/follow club! (Yes, these ARE already getting ridiculous.)**

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - WALK (AWAY FROM) THE DINOSAUR**

Luigi jolted awake. The sound of a coffee machine interrupted his deep sleep, and made him wince. In the small lab, the already loud machine got amplified further. It was part of the reason he hated coffee shops so much.

'I told you to get it ready for when I woke up. Not after.'

'You woke up thirty minutes before I was ready. Not that I'm complaining, of course!'

He opened his eyes, not feeling the energy yet to cover his ears to block the horrid sound. Daisy was already up and walking around, waiting by that incredibly loud machine. How could she stand so close to it?

'What time is it now, anyway?'

'About ten o'clock.'

Ten o'clock? Goodness, that was early for him. Then he remembered it was probably ten in the afternoon.

'Six hours? Can't tell if that's too long or not long enough.'

Polterpup was also awake, and along with Parr T was looking at all the ghosts in the container unit. E. Gadd, who of course hadn't fallen asleep once, was still at his computers. As Luigi looked around in his haze, he noticed something weird. Since when was he on the bed? Didn't he go to sleep on the floor? He stretched out his tired limbs, and sat up. How Daisy could get up so easily was a mystery.

The princess looked at him with a smirk. 'So our sleeping beauty is finally awake. Want a coffee?'

Normally he'd say no, but a coffee sounded really good right about now.

'Yeah...'

'Good. Cos I made two.'

Finally, the coffee machine was turned off. All this did was introduce him to all the other sounds - E. Gadd typing on his keyboard, Polterpup's barks, Parr's cheers, the low humming of all the machinery... way more than what he wanted to deal with in the 'morning'.

'Here, sweetie.' Daisy said, handing him a cup of green coffee. 'I made sure it wasn't too hot for you.'

'Thanks...' He murmured.

He took the cup, and had a sip. It was nice having it not burn his mouth for once. The taste was... surprisingly alright, all things considered.

Daisy licked her lips. 'Mmm... Elvin was right. That is some good coffee.' She chuckled. 'And I see you've got a little friend.'

Polterkitty lay curled up in a ball, right by where his neck and shoulders would've been. Luigi did not want to wake her, at least not yet. She looked too comfortable, like she hadn't slept like that in ages.

'So,' Luigi said. 'Is she coming with us, or staying here? I mean, she'll do what she wants, but what do _you_ think she should do?'

'She's coming with us.'

His eyes widened from how quickly she answered. 'Wait, really? Why?'

'No way in the Underwhere am I leaving her with the ghost container unit. Who knows what she'd do to it.'

'Oh. Right.'

He drank more of the Lunoman Greenie blend, feeling his tired body slowly rejuvenating. With the haze mostly gone from his mind, he noticed the bandages wrapped around her chest. Little specks of blood had seeped out and stained them, but fortunately not too much. Luigi stopped drinking his coffee. The sight of blood made him feel too sick to continue.

'You okay?' Daisy asked. 'Oh, it's the blood, isn't it? Sorry. I leave you to finish your drink.'

She walked away, and joined Parr in looking into the container unit. It left him mostly by himself, to finish the awakening drink.

'Meow?'

He flinched. Polterkitty had woken up, and now rubbed her cheeks against his arm as she purred all the while. He scratched under her neck, and she soaked it up. Luigi forgot how much he loved the sound of cat purring.

'You're coming with us, Polterkitty. Daisy said so. Though... it's only so she can keep an eye on you.'

The cat found the small scratches too basic, hopped onto his lap and perched herself there. She glanced at Polterpup, who didn't even look her way, with a look of 'he is mine'.

'Uh, Polterkitty, you can't... okay, you can sit there until I have to get up.'

'Breakfast is ready!' E. Gadd announced, showing off the multiple bowls of that old family recipe.

* * *

No matter if that rest was relaxing, no matter if Daisy was injured, no matter if there was a new member of the team... they had to keep going. And that meant returning to that museum.

When Luigi stepped out onto the floor, he immediately noticed that it was no longer dead silent. Thanks to the thunder.

'YAAAH!'

'ARF!'

'MROW!'

Luigi jumped and shuddered, holding onto his flashlight for dear life. Polterpup seemingly vanished off the face on the planet but had just jumped into the ceiling, and Polterkitty hid behind Luigi's legs in a shaky mess.

The only one unaffected was Daisy, who didn't even flinch. 'Well that's great. As if things weren't bad enough we have a storm to deal with now.'

Luigi gulped. 'W-What if it makes the tower collapse?'

'I don't think so. And if it did, that would be great.'

The mostly-frightened group - Polterpets included - returned to the grand curtains. Luigi could sense something very terrible on the other side. Polterkitty nudged at the missing patch in his pants.

'W-What is it, Polterkitty?'

Daisy groaned. 'You should step into her white, windowless van?'

Luigi paid her no mind, and so did Polterkitty. The kitty said something to him, in a language of meows that the translator-less Daisy couldn't understand. But she knew it was bad when his eyes widened with shock.

'Oh Grambi, what did she tell you?'

'Um, she said that, uh, that part of the museum is guarded by a fearsome ghost named Ug.'

'Ug? Ug. Uh huh. Well, let's get Ug and then get out of here.'

The quartet passed through the curtains, and the sight at the end of the hallway made Luigi scream.

'WAH! ... Oh.'

He blushed upon realising that the giant T Rex that awaited them at the very end was merely a fossil on display. The curtains hid a short hallway, lined with a dirty red carpet, that opened up to the main exhibit in a massive room. The T Rex fossil that had frightened Luigi stood on a pole at the very back. From that tiny hallway, you couldn't see much else.

'That fossil is sooo gonna come to life.' Daisy muttered. 'I just know it.'

While Luigi shivered and Polterpup salivated at the sight, Polterkitty shuddered. When the quartet arrived in the main exhibit, they bore witness to its true glory.

Windows that took up almost the entire back wall lit up the whole room with moonlight alone. The clean floor had more, albeit less impressive, fossils on display. To the left was a Stegosaurus that appeared to be climbing rocks. The right had a couple of Compsognathus fleeing from a Ankylosaurus, which was a little strange considering the latter's herbivorous diet. Two Pterodactyls hung from the ceiling, by the T Rex, holding what appeared to be big rock eggs.

The walls to the sides had many fossils and the like on display, each with its own label. Banners of various prehistorical animals - some commonly known, such as the Apatosaur, and others less known, like the Meganeuropsis - hung from the walls. If it wasn't for the void of silence, it'd be neat.

Luigi noticed Polterkitty backing away as she stared at the T Rex fossil. 'What's wrong, girl?'

'Miaooow.'

'Uh, Ug prefers his privacy, and when he's not greeting guests he sleeps in his...'

His voice trailed off. The lightning flashed and the thunder boomed simultaneously - a sign the storm was right on top of them - but that wasn't why. The hotel seemed to shake beneath his feet, and...

That T Rex definitely moved. Luigi could've sworn it was looking to the right before, and now the left.

'Uh, w-what was that, girl?'

'Mrow!'

'He... he sleeps _in the T Rex_?' He muttered in the quietest voice possible.

Daisy and Polterpup were already halfway across the room, apparently not having noticed the old fossil moving.

'Luigi, look!'

In his fear Luigi hadn't noticed until now, but a portrait lay by the dinosaur's feet. Inside of it was another terrified Toad.

'It's Toad!' Daisy declared. 'I dunno which one, but it's Toad!'

She and Polterpup ran over to the seemingly abandoned painting, the footsteps echoing in the silent room. While Daisy kept running, Polterpup skidded to a stop as he got too close to the T Rex. He could smell a powerful ghost within it.

The lightning flashed again.

'Yah!'

Now Luigi was certain that the T Rex just moved. It definitely wasn't looking down on them with an evil glare before.

'D-Daisy, maybe you should-'

Daisy lifted the painting into her arms. 'What are ya waiting for?' She yelled from across the room. 'Get over here and free this guy!'

Polterkitty shook her head, meowing and growling in distress and panic. Polterpup licked the shin of the prehistoric beast.

'Daisy,' Luigi said a little louder. 'Polterkitty says you should stay qu-'

'This Toad won't be freed by himself!'

Luigi gawked at the T Rex like a deer mounted on a wall. The fingers twitched - they definitely twitched. A calm, feminine voice could be heard faintly in the air.

_Go after them, Ug... They won't leave you alone unless you do..._

'MROW!'

'Polterkitty, can you shut up for a moment!' Daisy yelled, glaring at her. 'And get away from Luigi before I-'

'DAISY, LOOK OUT!'

Daisy looked over her shoulder, and-

'OH SWEET GRAMBI ABOVE!'

-was horrified to find herself face-to-face with the end of a Tyrannosaurus Rex snout. Despite it lacking eyes, she could feel it staring into her soul. Its breath on her face was warm and slightly moist. She held the portrait close to her chest.

'DAISY!'

Luigi rushed over, forgetting his fears for a moment. Polterkitty cried out and, not wanting to be left alone, followed.

Daisy gave the T Rex a quick wave. 'Hi, uh, Dino Friend? Are, uh, you Ug, or...?'

A low growl came from the T Rex's mouth. Words could be heard within it.

'Leave Ug alone. Ug want be left alone. Give Ug favourite picture back.'

Daisy gave the dinosaur a soft pat on the nose. 'Sorry, um, Ug, but we need this-'

'UG WANT BE LEFT ALONE!'

The T Rex - or, more accurately, Ug possessing the T Rex - unleashed a horrible roar in her face. Luigi, though not the victim, had to cover his ears to block out the deafening sound.

'UG WARN INTRUDERS! UG ANGRY! SCARY BOSS RIGHT ABOUT INTRUDERS! GIVE UG FAVOURITE PICTURE BACK!'

'Sorry Ug, but we need the-'

'GIVE UG PICTURE!'

Ug grabbed the portrait with the dinosaur's sharp teeth, and shook it around until Daisy fell to the floor. Before she could even begin to scream, he threw it into the air and swallowed it in one gulp. Daisy waited for it to slip out through his ribcage and fall to the floor, but instead it drifted down his non-existent throat. A glowing ball of ectoplasmic energy - possibly Ug himself - lay where the heart would've been, and it 'consumed' the portrait by absorbing it into itself.

'Oh boy!'

Ug stamped his foot on the floor. 'Intruders leave now. Ug spare intruders. But if intruders no leave... Ug get angry!'

'We just need the-'

'UG ANGRY!'

With another roar, Ug jumped up and down on the spot, pulling against the pole that kept him locked in place. Polterpup grabbed onto a calf for dear life, but Ug kicked him off. The ghostly puppy yelped when he hit the ground. Luigi whimpered, covering his ears to block out that cacophony the best way he possibly could have.

'INTRUDERS LEAVE! UG NICE IF INTRUDERS LEAVE, BUT UG MEAN IF INTRUDERS STAY!'

Daisy backed away, keeping her eyes on the glowing ball in the dinosaur's ribcage. Ug struggled against the pole, the feet dragging against the floor as he tried to lunge forward and chomp her head off.

'Ha!' Daisy mocked. 'Of course you'd be stupid enough to possess something that can't move!'

Ug roared in utter fury. 'UG NOT STUPID! UG SMART!'

Daisy scoffed. 'Uh-huh. Right.'

'UG VERY SMART! UG KNOWS THAT ARGUMENT NOT WORTH HAVING! UG WANT ONLY MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS!'

'Hey!'

Polterkitty pulled on the pant legs of her new friend, meowing and wailing as she pointed to the way out. Luigi struggled to focus on that sound among all the others.

'W-What is it, girl?'

'**Ug just wants to be left alone.**' Polterkitty explained. '**If we just get out of here, we'll be fine.**'

Daisy leapt back as Ug turned around and smashed the tail to the floor right where she was standing. Sweat poured down her face - not that she'd admit that to anyone.

'But we can't do that!' Luigi said. 'Our friend is in trouble and we have to save him. Or at least try to.'

Polterkitty gave him a confused look. '**But... he doesn't matter. We should run away while we still can.**'

Luigi's eyes narrowed. 'Is that what Ms Gravely told you?'

The spectral cat didn't answer.

'Hey Luigi!'

Luigi winced. Daisy's yell pierced the already-fragile bubble that he formed to converse with Polterkitty. Now he had another conversation to deal with, on top of Ug's rampaging and Polterpup's barking. He tried to give her his full attention, something near impossible with the angry dinosaur in the 'background'.

'Y-Yeah?'

'Do you have any idea how to defeat a giant T Rex? At all? Because - I hate to say this - if we can't beat him, we might have to leave whichever Toad that was behind.'

Luigi strummed his fingers on his flashlight, more intensely than ever. No way in the Underwhere would he leave a friend behind. If only everything could be quiet for a moment so he could think!

'**Green Man!**' Polterkitty cried. '**That glowing ball is Ug himself. If you hit him hard enough, you might get him out!**'

'Uh, o-okay. How do we do that?'

'**I don't know! You come up with something!**'

Luigi looked around, searching for any way he could hurt the glowing ball that, according to his new kitty friend, was Ug himself. Concentrating on anything with the cacophony was near impossible.

His eyes lit up. Most likely from a previous rampage, a pile of bones rested not too far away from him. From it, he picked up a ribcage just a little bigger than his own with his Poltergust.

'Any time would be nice, Luigi!'

The plumber took aim - a difficult task thanks to his shaky, sweating hands - and fired. The ribcage flew through the air, towards the glowing ball in a straight line directly to its target. The dinosaur's head snapped around like a bird's head, spotting that bony projectile without a problem.

'Ug see what intruder trying!'

Without delay, Ug snapped at the projectile and crunched it into hundreds of little fossilised shards that fell to the ground. Polterpup ran up and swiped most of those pieces away, and dashed off before Ug could try to crush him again.

'Ug not let intruders win easily!'

Daisy, keeping her eyes on the dinosaur in case it turned out to be able to spit fire or anything like that, returned to her more timid counterpart.

'Mind explaining to me what you just did there?' She asked.

Ug stood relatively still, staring at them intently, as if waiting for them to make a move. It gave Luigi a bit more silence, which would be total quiet if it wasn't for the thunder and Polterpup barking.

'Polterkitty says that-'

Daisy groaned. 'Hate to stop ya there, but if Polterkitty told you something I doubt it's going to work.'

The spectral cat in question glared up at her.

'I assume she told you to hit the glowy thing. That'll probably just make Ug even angrier. She might as well tell you to jump directly into the dinosaur's mouth at this point.'

'I believe she's trying to help.'

'Good for you. You're trying to nice. _I'm_ trying to keep us _alive_.'

Polterkitty whined and growled at the orange-clad princess. All Daisy had to do was clench her fist, and the cat backed off.

'Okay.' Luigi said with a frown. 'What ideas do you have?'

Daisy glared at him, for just a moment. 'Alright. Gimme a moment.'

She dashed over to that pile of bones, picked up a humerus, and chucked it at the dinosaur with the might of a god. Had it finished its trajectory, it would have stabbed straight through the core.

Ug batted it away with the dinosaur's head as it was just a mosquito. It bonked against a window, not even breaking it. Daisy then picked up another bone just to break it in half.

'Well,' She said. 'It's gotta do something if Ug really doesn't want us to hit him there. Which means... how do we hit him there?!'

'UG NOT LET INTRUDERS HURT HIM!'

The prehistoric ghost roared at the ceiling in pure rage, his vocals so powerful that they shattered one of the pterodactyls hanging from the ceiling. The egg it was holding fell to the floor, hitting the surface hard yet remaining in one piece.

Daisy rubbed her hands together. 'Oh, that'll get 'im! We just gotta find a way to distract him or something.' She glanced at Polterkitty. 'I say we use the cat as bait.'

'Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'We _can't_ do that!'

'Geez, calm down. You're acting like I just suggested sacrificing _Polterpup_ instead.'

Polterpup lay on the floor, awaiting an opportunity to take a bite at those bones. Polterkitty circled around Luigi, and looked up at the Poltergust on his back. She recognised that green goo from the security cameras, having seen it turn into a gummy bear version of her new owner. She stood up onto her hindlegs, and scratched at the weaponised vacuum cleaner, mewing to get Luigi's attention.

'HEY!' Daisy yelled.

The princess grabbed Polterkitty by the neck and pulled her away. The spectral cat cried out as she was yanked back. Daisy dropped her onto the floor and got between her and Luigi.

'You lay a single claw on that weapon, and I'll rip out _all_ your tails!'

Luigi, without delay, knelt down to the kitty's level and gave her another scratch under her neck.

'Sorry Luigi, but I wasn't going to let her destroy your only weapon.'

'That's not what she was doing!' Luigi said. 'She was trying to tell me what to do.'

'Okay then. What was she suggesting? That _you_ play the bait?'

Polterpup looked over his shoulder, seeing his owner and friends about to discuss a plan. He barked as wildly as he could, keeping Ug's attention squarely on him.

'DOG ANNOYING! DOG DON'T THINK UG KNOW WHAT DOG IS TRYING! UG KNOWS DOG IS TRYING TO DISTRACT UG! UG ANNOYED THAT IT IS WORKING!'

Polterkitty gave Daisy another glare, to match the one she herself was receiving. With that done, she ignored the princess and spoke to Luigi instead.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'I... I can't do that!'

Daisy's blood boiled. 'I swear, if she's saying that you throw **me** into those jaws, I'll-!'

'What? Oh, no.' Luigi said. 'She's suggesting that I use Gooigi as bait.'

Now it was time for Daisy's eyes to widen. 'You have a problem with that plan? That's actually a great idea!'

Polterkitty waited for the moment she said something along the lines of 'that cat is helpful after all'. That moment didn't come.

Luigi stood up. 'I just don't like the idea of using anyone as bait...'

'But Gooigi is just an object you use as a host. He'll be fine!'

Luigi looked at the jaws of the fossilised beast, thinking about his gooey friend being mashed into paste. But, if Daisy agreed with Polterkitty that it was a good idea - without ever saying the word 'agree' - it had to be good.

'O-Okay. I'll do it.'

Thoughts of the inevitable result, combined with the auditory insanity going on around him, distracted him from the thoughts he needed to transfer himself into his gooey body.

'Uh, Luigi, no pressure but can you hurry up a bit?' Daisy requested. 'I mean, I'm definitely not worried that Ug will break free and attack us, but it would be nice if you went just a little faster.'

Luigi groaned like a cat being rudely awakened. If anything else happened, on top of the pressure and the cacophony, he'd have a meltdown. Against the odds, he managed to concentrate enough to take over Gooigi's body and force him to plop onto the floor. The stoic green body did a great job at hiding the fear and stress coursing through his mind.

'MEYOW!'

Polterkitty scampered away, tripping over her own paws. It certainly wasn't that scary on the security cameras.

'Good! Now go forward and play bait.'

Gooigi did not feel comfortable approaching a T Rex of any kind, regardless of the body he possessed. Of course, lucky Mario got to possess the T Rex itself, didn't he? And he would never be forgiven for that 'surprise'. Still, he walked towards that dinosaur without any of his fear translating into Gooigi's face. The terror levels spiked when Ug got close and personal, sniffing at the gelatin body.

'UG SMELL... COFFEE? GOOEY MAN MADE OF COFFEE AND GHOST ENERGY, UG THINK. UG NOT TRUST GOOEY MAN. UG PREDICT GOOEY MAN MAKE UG'S JAW STICKY.'

Daisy was about ready to explode, half from Ug's broken English and his unwillingness to cooperate.

'YET, UG NOT SURE. GOOEY MAN'S CONSISTENCY LOOK WEIRD. UG MUST TEST HYPOTHESIS TO GET DEFINITIVE RESULTS.'

Before Daisy could even begin to question how he knew the word 'hypothesis', let alone the proper meaning, Ug chomped down into Gooigi's 'flesh' and chewed him up. The gooey substance lost its shape and turned to nothing more than a big glob of gum.

Luigi's consciousness transferred back to his real body, and for just a moment he could feel the jaws closing in on him.

'Ha! It worked!' Daisy yelled. 'Of course someone dumb enough to possess an object that's tied to the ground would fall for that!'

Ug would've loved to point out that he didn't actually 'fall for it' as she claimed, or that he wasn't actually stupid, but the remains of Gooigi in his teeth kept his jaw shut tight.

'And look at that.' Daisy continued. 'His weak spot is as vulnerable as can be!'

'Um, not to interrupt your gloating,' Luigi said. 'But you should probably hit him now.'

'Oh. Right. That!'

With the cockiest smirk she could manage, she hoisted that big stone egg into her hands, and held it over her shoulder. Her arms struggled underneath its weight more than she cared for.

'Looks like it's egg on _your_ face!'

'Uh, but you're hitting him in the-'

'I _know_ that!'

Daisy had all of three seconds to take aim before her arms broke completely on her. Having already wasted that time dropping a one-liner, she chucked the egg with all her might without waiting to aim. By some miracle - or just really good practise - it went high enough to hit Ug's concentrated form like a heavy arrow to a bullseye.

'RAAAAAHH!' Ug roared from the pain that coursed through him, dissolving the goo with his misty 'breath'.

The dinosaur fell back as far as the pole would allow it, while Ug kicked the legs around to keep his balance.

'Oh yeah!' Daisy yelled. 'Take that!'

Polterpup barked in celebration alongside her. Luigi had to cover his ears from that awful roar, but still he smiled. Suddenly, it seemed like their chances of winning had soared.

The good feeling was gone when he looked down at Polterkitty. She didn't seem any happier than she was before. In fact, she seemed infinitely more _terrified_.

'**This was a mistake...**' She muttered. '**The only thing that calms down Ug is being left alone. But now that we've hurt him...**'

Ug roared out once more, this time the strength of his roar being more than enough to cause the pterodactyl fossils to shatter into dust. He spun around and sent his tail crashing through the nearby pillars, reducing them to mere rubble.

'UG JUST WANT BE LEFT ALONE! WHY INTRUDERS HURT UG?'

'Cos you wouldn't give us that painting!'

'UG LIKE PICTURE. UG NEED TO KEEP PICTURE OR SCARY BOSS GET MAD. SHOCK COLLARS DELIVER APPROXIMATELY TEN THOUSAND VOLTS!'

Luigi whimpered, his breathing turning tense. Daisy's yelling, Ug's roaring, the rubble crashing into the floor, the thunder booming... he couldn't take much more.

'You gonna give us that picture already, Fred?' Daisy taunted. 'Or are we going to do this the hard way?'

Ug pulled against the pole that held him in place. 'UG NOT HELP THOSE WHO HURT UG! INTRUDERS PAY FOR HURTING UG!'

The princess chuckled. 'How are ya gonna do that? You possessed something that's practically nailed down. Seems like a pretty dumb move to me.'

Polterpup added onto that with some particularly snarky-sounding barks.

Ug growled. He couldn't recall the last time someone called him 'dumb', or any of the few dozen synonyms he had learnt over the years. Now that someone was saying that to him once again, he remembered how angry that accusation made him.

'UG...'

He pulled against the pole, bending it slightly out of shape.

'NOT...'

He pulled again, this time bending it much further than it ever should have. Daisy's eyes widened. In that moment, she realised her mistake.

'Uh oh...'

'STUPID!'

With one final push, the pole snapped like a twig. Ug lurked forward, now totally free from the bar that held him down. He swung the tail around, making it collide with a window which shattered to pieces.

Daisy held her hands up and backed away. 'L-Look Ug, I'm sorry for calling you a-'

'IDIOT? LUMMOX? IGNORAMUS? DOLT, IMBECILE, CLODPOLE... UG BET UG KNOW MORE SYNONYMS FOR MORON THAN INTRUDER!'

Luigi wanted to scream out to Daisy, but all he could manage was a weak, cat-like groan.

'STULTUS. BÁICHĪ. DUMMKOPF. NUNOAO. IS THAT WHAT FLOWER LADY THINK OF UG?'

Daisy opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Mostly thanks to her fear overriding any ability to speak.

'Ug not possess Tyrannosaurus Rex because dinosaur eat Ug.' The caveman spoke surprisingly calm. 'Dinosaur and caveman not around at same time. Dinosaur from Cretaceous period. Ug possess dinosaur because TYRANNOSAURUS REX ONE OF GREATEST HUNTERS EVER!'

Ug stepped towards the princess, his stomps echoing in the wide, empty room. Daisy backed away, in no state to jump up and punch him in the chest like she wanted to. Luigi, about to hit his limit, couldn't believe the sight. Daisy, his brave and hotheaded princess, now shaking at the knees and looking like she was ready to scream.

Ug roared in Daisy's face, for no reason than to unnerve her. Against all her standards, it worked.

'AHHHHH!'

She ran in the opposite direction, climbing on top of one of the exhibits and hiding behind the big, strong Ankylosaurus fossil. Her heart beat out of her chest, and her breathing was as heavy as a boulder.

'LUIGI!' She shouted. 'HEEELLLPP!'

Luigi's own breathing turned harsh, but not quite for the same reason. His hands remained clamped over his ears, as doing anything else would break him.

Daisy's shouting, Ug's footsteps, Polterpup's barking, Polterkitty's whining, the storm's booming thunder...

'INTRUDER THINK ANKYLOSAURUS IS GOOD HIDING PLACE? UG NOT FALL FOR IT!'

Ug took in a deep breath, the glowing ball illuminating more intensely. He unleashed his breath as a deafening roar so powerful, Luigi could see the air that came shooting out of his mouth almost solidifying.

'Woah!'

Daisy made the right move, and leapt out of the way. Her knees hit the tiled floor, but as long as her chest didn't she didn't care.

She glanced behind her, in time to see Ug's powerful roar demolishing the Ankylosaurus fossil. The bones broke apart and scattered like a bomb had been dropped on them. The sounds of them shattering and falling to the floor filled the already-loud room.

Lightning flashed again, followed by thunder. The hotel shook slightly beneath them.

Luigi found clamping his hands over his ears to be horribly insufficient in blocking anything out. He held his hands against his head so hard they began to hurt. It only made it worse. The only sound he himself could make was a low, distressed murmur.

'UG GIVE INTRUDER CHANCE. BUT NOW, UG MUST KILL!'

He forgot the T Rex was even there.

_***BOOM***_

'LUIGI!'

_***CRA-ASH***_

_***THUD***_

'MIAAOO-OOO-OW!'

'ARF ARF! RUUFFFF!'

The sounds came from everywhere, closing in on him like a shrinking room. Tears fell down his cheeks as his stress and panic levels skyrocketed.

_Please make it stop... please make it stop!_

He couldn't think about anything else right now.

Daisy looked up, and saw a big boney foot about ready to stomp her into paste. Shrieking, she rolled out of the way just as Ug stomped the ground.

'ARF ARF ARF!'

'UG NOT LIKE DOGS! CANIS FAMILIARIS UG'S LEAST FAVOURITE ANIMAL!'

Daisy wanted to scream so, so badly. Shriek as loudly as she could, to vent the panic she bottled up. But she refused to do so with anyone else in the room.

She got to her feet, in such a manner that made Luigi look like a ballerina.

'LUIIIGIII!'

She coughed - if she had to yell out much longer, she'd lose her voice.

'Huh?'

In such a situation, she'd expect Luigi to do one of two things: either step up courageously and fight, or run for his life. _Standing still_ in the middle of the room was the last thing she'd expect. She didn't even care that a very panicked Polterkitty whined to him.

'UG DELIVER MORE THAN TWO-THOUSAND-AND-THREE-HUNDRED NEWTONS OF FORCE TO INTRUDER SKULL! INTRUDER SKULL TURN TO PUTTY!'

Trying to ignore Ug and her own fears for just a moment, she ran over to her immobile plumber. She gasped upon seeing the tears on his face.

'Me-OOOOWW...!'

'Kitty, shut up!' Daisy yelled. 'We don't need that right now!'

Daisy's shouting hit Luigi's ears, as overloaded as they already were. His distressed murmuring got much louder, but no less incoherent.

'Luigi? Luigi, sweetie! What the heck are you doing?!'

'GET BACK HERE, INTRUDER!'

The very thought of Ug approaching nearly made Daisy scream, yet again. Polterpup danced around in Ug's vision, moving around and barking as much as possible to distract him.

'UG HATE DOGS!'

Ug stomped his foot into the floor, barely missing Polterpup who was taunting him at this point.

'DOGS MAKE UG ANGRY!'

The dinosaur tail swung again, but this time Ug spun it right round. He missed Polterpup, but tore straight through the rest of that exhibit. As the bones went flying, Luigi cried harder.

'Luigi, you have to get in the battle!' Daisy yelled. 'We might die if we don't try our hardest to win!'

To her surprise, he didn't respond - aside from slinking away and pushing himself inwards, as if trying to get into the fetal position while standing up.

'Luigi? Luigi, LISTEN TO ME!'

'Mrrrroooow...!'

'YOU SHUT UP!'

She grabbed his shoulder. He winced all through his body.

All he wanted was peace. All he needed was quiet! In that state, what Daisy intended to be a soft touch became a forceful tug, trying to yank him away from his safe haven. He whined again, praying she got the message.

Daisy couldn't believe the sounds he was making. What fully-grown adult whined and moaned like an animal? Since when did he mutter such childish sounds?

'Good Grambi, Luigi... if there's something wrong, just tell me!'

Luigi needed her to let go. He needed her to leave him alone. His overwhelmed mind forgot all about the possessed T Rex, and the Toad, and the danger at hand. Only one thought flew around in his head.

_Get away! GET AWAY!_

He muttered something incoherent.

'What? Luigi, I can't understand you.'

He muttered again, louder and even more distressed.

'LUIGI!'

'GET AWAY!'

Without thinking - like he could do that in this state - and simply with the desire to get away from this all, he lashed out. Emitting an indescribable sound of agony, he flailed his arms out to hit anything in range without even looking.

'LUI-! Gah!'

By accident, he slammed his hand into Daisy's chest, hard enough to send her falling backwards. She'd yell his name out once more, but the pain circulating through her body from her wound being struck prevented her from saying anything.

Luigi could run away now, from all that tormented him, but he had one more thing weighing him down. He threw his Poltergust onto the floor, and dashed off faster than Daisy had ever seen.

'Lui... Luigi?'

Exit? Where was the exit? Luigi couldn't find his escape out of this hell! In no position to think, he ran into the furthermost corner from the torture he could find, and got down into a fetal position. That way, he could keep his head hidden away. He squeezed his ears to block out as much as possible, and tapped his feet on the floor to vent the stress.

Daisy winced, hissing through her gritted teeth. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out Luigi's bizarre behaviour. There must've been some explanation for it, but she had no idea what it could've been. She got to her feet, fighting against the pain dragging her down. Her stomach was about ready to empty itself out all over the floor.

Well, if Luigi was going to do whatever he just did, Daisy would easily fight this battle solo. Her eyes fell upon the Poltergust, laying by itself next to that troublesome kitty.

'I have... to use it...'

She didn't know the first thing about using that weaponised vacuum cleaner, but she saw no other options.

'YIP YIP YIP!'

'MROOOWWW!'

Wheezing all the way, she turned around and looked up. Ug and the fossil he possessed towered over her. Through the pain in her face, she managed to deliver a deadly glare.

'This better be Ms Gravely's doing... cos then I might spare you.'

Ug said nothing, and just opened the jaws as wide as they would go. He swung his head down upon her like the claw in a crane game. She closed her eyes and braced for the inevitable.

But not if Polterpup had anything to say about it! With a triumphant yip, he delivered a headbutt into her shoulder and pushed her to the ground, taking great care so ensure that she didn't land on her chest.

Ug growled. 'UG HATE DOG! UG ANGRY!'

Polterkitty watched the orange-clad princess scratch the dog underneath his neck, no doubt for his heroic deed. So _that_ was how she got pats! Now she just had to wait for a deed to do heroically.

'UG KNOW VACUUM SOURCE OF INTRUDER POWER! UG REMOVE GREATEST PROBLEM!'

Ug lifted the foot up, ready to smash the Poltergust G-00 into a million pieces.

Polterkitty lit up. This was her chance to do something heroic! With a roar, she morphed into her hulking panther beast form, and pounced into action. She grabbed the Poltergust by its straps, and leapt out of the way of the angry dinosaur's stamp.

Her great paws skidded to a halt as she stopped to admire the heroic deed she just committed. She had the most proud little smile on her face that a cat could manage. She turned to the flower princess, awaiting the praise that would inevitably shower upon her.

'HEY!' Daisy yelled. 'Drop that at once!'

Daisy yanked the Poltergust out from the mouth of the highly confused and somewhat distressed Polterkitty.

'_We_ need this Poltergust to have even a chance of winning, and I won't be letting you use it as a chew toy!'

The ghostly panther glanced at Polterpup, who shared her apprehension. Paying no attention to the spectral animals, Daisy debated with herself over her next course of action.

'INTRUDER SMARTER THAN UG INITIALLY PRESUMED. UG STILL REDUCE MORTAL TO GELATINOUS PILE!'

That mental image was more than enough to convince Daisy.

'Alright... here goes nothing.'

For the first time in her life, she slipped the straps over her shoulders and adjusted the Poltergust on her back. A strange tingling feeling shot through her nerves as she grabbed the nozzle.

'Geez, Luigi was right.' She muttered. 'This thing is _really_ heavy. Now how the heck do I use it?'

She investigated the buttons on the nozzle, one labelled 'suck' and the other 'blow'.

'Get your head out of the gutter, Daisy. Now isn't the time!'

'UG FINISH MATCH!'

The caveman ghost, more than a little fed up, spun around, dragging his long bony tail across the floor in a circle. It tore up the floor as it went, scattering rubble everywhere.

'Oh sweet baby Luvbi!'

Daisy nearly lost all ability to think. Just one word was on her mind - burst, burst, burst! How did Luigi do it? By pressing both buttons, yes! Barely even thinking, she mashed both buttons at once. The Poltergust expelled air, rocketing itself upwards. It dragged her up by its straps.

'HOOOOO BOOOYYY!'

With perfect timing, the tail passed underneath her harmlessly. She plopped back to the floor, and wobbled around as she landed sooner than she expected. Her hair was left slightly frazzled.

'Oh... I hate it.'

The tail kept going, of course, until it demolished the other exhibit in the middle of the room. All that remained of the Stegosaurus was a pile of bones.

Ug roared. 'WHY INTRUDER STILL ALIVE? INTRUDER MAKE LIKE MORTAL AND DIE!'

This would normally be the time Daisy would response with some sort of cocky comeback. All she could do now was gulp.

'L-Listen, Ug.' She said in a tone far shakier than she was proud of. 'I-I'm gonna keep going until I, uh...'

'UG FED UP! UG FINISH BATTLE NOW!'

'Oh... I-I hope these gloves are saltwater-proof.'

She backed away, knocking the various remains of the fossils aside as she did so. Ug approached her, so slowly it seemed like he was intentionally torturing her.

'UG ADMIT INTRUDER SURPRISINGLY CLEVER, BUT UG MOST INTELLIGENT BEING IN HOTEL!'

Ug pulled the head back and inhaled deeply, charging up for yet another powerful roar. Daisy's eyes fell onto the glowing ball in an instant.

'Oh!' She smirked. 'A-ha!'

Bits of fossil surrounded her on every side. Focusing on the Ankylosaurs skull in particular, she aimed the Poltergust at it and pressed the 'suck button'. The skull got somewhat stuck in the nozzle. In that moment - and only in that moment - she forgot how much that T Rex scared her.

'Hey Fred! Ya made one _grave_ mistake!'

Not wanting to waste any more time after her little one-liner, she aimed and fired that skull straight at her intended target.

'Ya gave me tons of ammo!'

The skull struck Ug directly in his weak spot. His charged-up roar became nothing more than a pathetic cry as the impact sent him flying back a few feet - dinosaur feet, I might add.

Daisy fist-pumped the air. 'YEEE-HAAWW!'

Parts of the dinosaur's ribcage fell to the floor, scattering away from the attraction they were once a part of.

'INTRUDER WISE WITH SPARE AMMO. BUT UG NOT LET INTRUDER FIRE ANY MORE SHOTS! UG BE MORE CAREFUL NOW.'

Daisy narrowed her eyes, and focused them on Polterkitty. The spectral panther lay low to the floor, backing away from the T Rex, while Polterpup nibbled on the many leftover bones.

'M-Meow?'

'UG NOT TRUST POLTERKITTY. POLTERKITTY PET OF SCARY BOSS.'

Well, at least Daisy and Ug could agree on one thing. The princess sighed - she did not see any other alternative to her idea, and she still didn't like it.

'Hey, Polterkitty!'

The panther in question's eyes widened in shock. Now she had a _second_ person to back away from.

'If you wanna make yourself useful,' Daisy continued. 'You'll go for the leg!'

Polterkitty gulped, and looked up at the possessed fossil in front of her. She lay down so low, the fur on her stomach touched the floor.

'Mrooo-ooow.'

'You want me to start trusting you? Then do as I say!'

Polterkitty brought her legs and tails in, trying to make her panther form seem as small as possible, in an attempt to make Ug write her off as a non-threat. It didn't work.

'UG SCATTER POLTERKITTY SPECTRAL PARTICLES SO SCARY BOSS KNOW UG MEAN BUSINESS!'

Ug stamped the floor right in front of her, making her yowl and flail her legs around. Polterkitty began to wonder, maybe she was better off with Master. She stared up at the ceiling - it was more than tempting to leap through and leave Mean Lady behind. Yet, she couldn't.

'_You want me to start trusting you?'_

And Green Man, all the way in the corner... looking at him made her feel something she had never felt before. That little ember that had ignited when helping Mean Lady grew much stronger. She pinned herself to the floor, putting her legs in the optimal pouncing position.

'RAAAOOW!'

The panther pounced, her claws fully extended. She aimed her trajectory just a little to the left, and as she passed it she swung her paw at the femur. With the sheer strength of her panther form, she dislodged the femur and it fell to the ground.

'You... you actually did it!' Daisy said.

Ug had all of a few seconds to realise what was to come.

'UG HAVE BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS...'

The T Rex leaned over like a crumbling tower, towards Polterkitty. The spectral cat scampered out of the way of the plummeting bones as the mighty fossil was reduced to nothing more but a pile of bones.

The empty room amplified the crumbling and crushing sounds of the ancient artefact falling apart, and it just made Luigi wail more. Polterpup heard him past the crashes, and decided that he simply couldn't stay by Daisy's side anymore. So, he ran off to join his owner.

'Uh, Polterpup? Polterpup!'

The bones settled on the floor, undisturbed by anything. Once Polterkitty calmed down from nearly getting crushed, she smiled. She puffed her chest out and soaked up the glory. Praise would surely rain down on her now.

A burly, yellow arm reached out of the pile of bones. Polterkitty yowled and jumped away, the fur on her back standing up.

'UG. NOT. DONE. YET.'

The caveman ghost, wearing nothing more than a sabretooth skin over his body, emerged from the pile. He stared the kitty down with enough anger to get her running back to Daisy's side. The princess shuddered. She suddenly felt helpless, up against a powerful ghost with nothing more than a weapon she had no idea how to use.

'H-Hi, Ug!'

Despite his goofy underbite, his glare sent a chill up her spine. 'If intruder think Ug done, intruder got another thing coming!'

He rummaged through the pile, and picked up a bone club the size of himself with hardly any strain at all. Smacking it against his first, he held it over his shoulder like a sack.

'Bone crush intruder beneath! Intruder pay for disturbing Ug peace!'

Daisy's knees shook so hard, she nearly buckled under her own weight. The pain in her chest only made it a hundred times worse. She stepped back, shockingly close to backing out and running away. She wiped her brow; no one was allowed to see her like that.

'L-Listen, Ug.' She said, barely able to piece words together. 'I'm gonna... I'm gonna, uh...'

'UG FINISH MATCH!'

Against the reputation she tried her hardest to keep, she did the last thing she'd ever want to do.

'AAHHHHH!'

Seeing no other option, she turned the other way and ran. It didn't even occur to her that she'd just run into a wall with the direction she was going.

'Intruder may hide, but intruder not run!'

Ug bashed his club into the floor, leaving small dents in it, just to show off the power behind him. He chased after her, not weighed down at all by his weapon.

Daisy's heart raced. She spent so much willpower on trying not to cry that she had hardly any left for anything else.

Ug raised the bone club into the air, lifting it with such grand speed it seemed more like a hollow plastic prop. It glowed bright red, and the way it wobbled slightly in his hands reminded Daisy that was indeed a solid piece of heavy rock.

'UG DONE WITH THIS!'

The club slammed into the ground just behind her, knocking her off her feet. Her chest slammed against the ground. Forget trying to hold back tears - it didn't matter anymore. The pain made her forget.

'I can't do this...' She muttered. 'I can't...'

Something grabbed the back of her shirt. She had no energy left to punch it. Polterkitty dragged her off the floor and to her feet, giving her a worried look.

'Don't try it, kitty. I just can't-'

The apprehension disappeared - or, more accurately, got shoved aside - when her eyes fell upon Ug. He struggled to pull against his heavy bone club, which had gotten stuck in the floor.

'Ug... not... really... think... this through...'

Daisy nearly cried again, but this time from joy. With how close she felt to dying, she took hold of that hope and held it close.

'Hey Ug!'

The caveman looked up at her, his face full of that 'oh crap' realisation.

'There may be more nightmares after this, but I'll sure as hell end this one!'

She ran over to the incapacitated ghost, nearly tripping under the Poltergust's weight multiple times, and... where was the Strobulb? Her heart rate skyrocketed again.

'Oh Grambi, oh Grambi... a-ha!'

The Poltergust had a third button. Upon it being pressed, the Strobulb began to charge up. Daisy couldn't wait for it to finishing charging, and unleashed it into Ug's eyes. He let go of the bone club, stunned by the rays.

'Yeah!'

Daisy felt much more confident now. All she had to do at this point was get close, activate the Poltergust, and then...

'OH GOOD F- LUVBI!'

Ug, the very moment he got caught in the Poltergust, flew around the room and dragged her around. Unlike Luigi, who could keep his grip on the floor, Daisy couldn't keep her feet in place for a moment. She struggled to run after Ug and hold onto the Poltergust at the same time.

She felt like she was trying to grab onto a rampaging tiger. Her feet slipped against the floor, getting her closer and closer to kissing the ground. Just keeping one arm on the vacuum was near impossible. How in all eight worlds did Luigi do this so well?

'OOF!'

Ug freed himself from her suction, and she fell flat on her face. One thing she could always do was get back on her feet without delay, and though the Poltergust weighed her down she still got up almost as quickly as usual.

'Why intruder not give up? Ug both stronger and smarter!'

Daisy grasped the Poltergust, gulping to keep the bile down. 'I-I never give up, n-no matter what.' She hated the stutter.

'Ug acknowledge Flower Lady strength. Ug see Flower Lady strong. But Ug no let Flower Lady win!'

Daisy's grip on the Poltergust nearly slipped. What would Luigi do in this situation, other than chuck a hissy for unknown reasons?

'L-Listen Ug, we really are sorry.' She said, stepping back slowly. 'We just wanted that painting, so if you could kindly give that back we'll be on our way.'

'Ug cannot give up picture. If Ug do, Scary Boss get angry. Unless Flower Lady know way Ug can escape Scary Boss. Ug gladly listen to Flower Lady ideas!'

Daisy smiled. 'Wait, really?' She sighed in relief. 'Oh goodness... you have no idea how happy that makes me feel! Seriously, everyone before now just tried to kill us without even letting us-'

'UG IMPATIENT, THOUGH!'

To demonstrate, he slammed his fists into the ground, leaving cracks in the smooth tiling. Daisy jumped back with a squeak.

'O-Okay, I-I see that. See, if I put you into this vacuum thing-'

'Ug know name of vacuum! Called Poltergust.'

'Y-Yeah, that. If you let me suck you up - uh, put you in the thing - then you'll be with your ghost friends in a place free from Ms Gravely and her freaky powers.'

Ug took on a suspicious expression, and approached her with his fists ready for smashing. She stood in place, leaning back a bit when he got a little too close. Sweat ran down her face and neck.

'Hmmm...' Ug murmured, rubbing his chin. 'Flower Lady seem very scared of Ug. But Ug no see other signs Flower Lady lying. Ug believe Flower Lady tell truth. Ug accept deal!'

Daisy sighed in relief again. Perhaps it was a bit of an anticlimax, but for once an anticlimax was all she wanted to see.

'Ug have one condition.'

'And that is...?'

'Help Ug rebuild fossil.'

'Uh... that'll be hard. But alright!'

And with their little deal made, Ug allowed Daisy to capture him without even needing to flash him first. The moment he disappeared with a little 'pop', the entire museum returned to its dead silent state. The only sound was the regular thunder.

* * *

_**UG, THE CRAFTY CAVEMAN**_

_AGE - ?_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Eaten by saber-tooth (and not a dinosaur)_

_Ug, though not the one who's been working the most, has certainly been a ghost for the longest. Due to being around for so long, he has grown surprisingly intelligent for a caveman. Rumour has it he's working to get a diploma in mathematics. Be careful, as he's rather introverted and prefers being alone._

* * *

**Author Notes - Luigi's odd behaviour (described in-chapter as 'chucking a hissy for unknown reasons) will be addressed in the next chapter, but I will say this: I myself have done something very similar at least once or twice before. And it sucks.**

**When it came to the Boss Ghosts, for a lot of them I played with stereotypes. Ug is a stellar example of this. Cavemen are stereotyped as being brutish and stupid, while Ug is incredibly intelligent and simply wants to be left alone.**

**Also in this chapter, I get to pretend I know things about dinosaurs.**

* * *

_Ug may have began as a stereotypical idiot caveman - there's a reason why that sabretooth ate him - but when one is around for fifty thousand years, you gotta pick up on some lessons._

_He remembered when he saw the invention of the lightbulb, for instance. He witnessed several people work on improving it until it reached its final glory. Only to deal with people who seem to think Edison did everything._

_Ever since he watched Pythagorus create his own theorem, Ug found 'the square area of the hypotenuse in a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides' to be simple information. Centuries later, he learnt how to do more complicated maths equations in his head._

_To say the least, a caveman ghost with fifty-thousand years worth of knowledge was valuable to scientists. If only they knew that Ug was an introvert who hated being bugged..._

_And as for how he got into the Last Resort, Hellen Gravely promised him peace and quiet in exchange for using his surprisingly abundant intelligence for her own plans._


	19. The Creation Outlives Its Creator

**Author Notes - Before we take a swing over to the Boilerworks, we'll be getting a chance to see the movie that Morty has finished. After all, we need a break before the dreaded sewers. ****A sneak-peek as to why the Boilerworks are going to be tough: not only does a certain redneck have a 'helper' now, but we'll be returning to how the first few chapters were.**

**The one problem is that we've already seen the movie for the most part, so this will focus more on the bits we didn't get to see, the viewers' reactions to it, and the consequences of finishing it.**

**While we're discussing Morty, I'll recommend you check out Infinite's Ruby's Morty-centric story 'A Dilemma'.**

**It appears that** **egenemagi and dbot have discovered the ancient treasure of a favourite/follow. On a more serious note, this is now my most viewed/favourited story. I'm... not sure how to react to that.**

**(Also, my family just adopted a new Tabby kitten. My parents call her Obi, but I'm calling her Chopper. It's a _Star Wars Rebels_ reference.)**

**CHAPTER NINETEEN - THE CREATION OUTLIVES ITS CREATOR**

Daisy felt her knees buckle. She tossed the Poltergust off her back, and fell to the floor. What little energy she had went into keeping her chest off the ground.

She sighed. 'Oh Grambi... oh Grambi...'

She knew that if Ug hadn't cooperated and instead kept fighting, she probably would've been dead. Though she wouldn't blame herself too much for not knowing how to use a weapon the first time she picked it up, she dreaded what her kind of ineptitude would lead to.

'Meow?'

Polterkitty, back to her house cat form, nudged Daisy's cheek. Daisy did not have the energy to punch her.

'Yeah yeah, I'm getting up.'

Getting back onto her feet was not easy, but she couldn't show any weaknesses. Especially not now. As she stood up, the Poltergust began to rattle quite violently. Before she could worry about it imploding on her, it coughed out - with great struggle - the entire Toad painting. The portrait dropped to the floor, and within it Daisy noticed the petrified Toad holding an elevator button. Talk about flattening two Goombas with one stomp.

But the neither the Toad nor the button mattered to her at that moment.

'Luigi!'

The man-in-green hadn't moved from his spot, and all Polterpup could do was lay next to him. Luigi did not, at all, respond to her call.

'Luigi, sweetie!'

Still nothing. If anything, he seemed to be retreating further into his knees. With a grunt, Daisy put the Poltergust back on, grabbed the portrait, and approached him.

'What are you doing?!' She yelled. 'First you just shutdown in the middle of a battle, and now you're not even responding to me? What is going on here?'

The way she stood over him, she felt like an angry mother looking down at her spoiled son. She certainly felt like she was dealing with a child.

'Luigi, can you at least look at me?'

He whimpered. Which prompted her to groan. She grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at her.

'Luigi! Look at-!'

She stopped. Dead. Any anger or frustration that had overflowed from the fight vanished. How could she continue yelling when those frightened blue eyes shook her to the very core? He almost looked scared that she'd slap him again, and that very thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

'S-Sweetie?'

He pushed her away - an effortless endeavour for once - and returned to his position. She couldn't believe herself. Despite still having no clue what prompted his behaviour, it only now hit her how serious it was.

'Oh, Luigi... I'm so-'

'Just... just leave me alone.' He said, just barely loud enough for her to hear. 'I'll... I'll be good in a few minutes. I just need to... relax, for a moment.'

Had she known what was going on, she would've known that him talking at all was a good sign.

'Okay. That's fine. I'll free the Toad while you relax.'

The ringtone of the Virtual Boo interrupted the silence, causing Luigi to flinch. He felt around all over his overalls, trying to find where he kept that dang device. Unfortunately, they hadn't used it since after the fight with Amadeus, and he couldn't remember where he put it. The pressure to answer was merely added to the stress he was trying to recover from, and Daisy knew by those distressed whimpers that another meltdown was imminent.

With a yelp, she remembered that last time they answered it, she had put it into her own pocket without thinking. Checking her pocket, she found the cumbersome device right where she left it.

'Luigi, relax!' She said. 'I have it!'

He looked up to her, breathing heavily as if on the verge of tears. Seeing the ringing invention in her hand managed to calm him down a little.

'I'll answer it.' Daisy offered.

When she did so, she could see E. Gadd in his lab - as expected. 'That's another Toad you and Luigi have managed to save! That's all of the Toads, right?' The looks given to him by Daisy _and_ Parr T told him 'no'. 'Oh, right! There's still one more! And Mario. And Princess Peach. You're making excellent progress! Now, let the sonny relax while you free that Toad and send him down to me.'

'I wouldn't bother to do anything else. See you, Professor.' And Daisy ended the conversation by returning the VB to her pocket.

Polterkitty stood on the sidelines, not wanting to do anything that might earn her Mean Lady's wrath. Daisy stepped away from Luigi, and settled the Toad painting against the wall. It took her a minute or two to find the Dark-Light device.

Just like with Parr T, when this Toad fell flat on his face as he emerged Daisy did not need to check his colour to see which one he was.

'Gah! It took you_ this_ long to free me?' Gus T complained as he stood up. 'I mean, I'm grateful for being saved at all, but you waited way longer than you needed to! Do you know how traumatising it is getting eaten by a freaking dinosaur? I swear, I-'

'Give me the button.' Daisy said, flatly.

'Oh. Right.'

Gus handed her the button, and she was just a little surprised to see it didn't read '10' like she expected it to.

'B2? I wonder where-'

'I get Luigi's in a distressed state, but what's your excuse? How 'bout you just tell me where I can stay to not die?'

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Elevator. B1. Down the hallway. Door to right. Lab dead ahead. Got it?'

'Got it. I swear to Grambi, if the princess ever invites us along for a vacation again, I am giving her the big 'N-O'.'

He continued to complain about his current situation even as he headed for the elevator. Daisy simply did not feel like dealing with it right now. She rubbed her temples and sighed. This was all a nightmare, right? She awaited the moment she woke up.

She looked back at Luigi, expecting him to be in the same position he was in a few minutes ago. Imagine her relief when he was standing up, with a smile on his face, looking at the many fossils on display.

He chuckled. 'Look at that one, boy. It kinda looks like a helix fossil.'

His voice still sounded weak and near-to-tears, but joy managed to seep back into it. Daisy, taking her steps calmly, joined him in admiring the ancient artefacts. In particular, the one that did look a lot like a helix fossil. Praise the helix lord.

She grinned. 'Wanna get the professor to revive it so you can have an Omanyte?'

The smile on his face gave her something to live for. Her mood dropped significantly when it turned to a frown.

'I'm... I'm sorry.' He said.

'You're apologising to ME?! Luigi, what are you apologising for? I don't know what that behaviour was about, but I'm sure it was-'

'The sounds.'

'... what?'

He sighed, and fumbled his hands like he always did to relax himself.

'It got too… _loud_ for me. The thunder, the barking, the crashing, the roars...' He choked. 'I just couldn't handle it anymore. I don't know how you do it, but I... can't.'

Daisy's eyes widened. 'That's what it was. Gah, I should've known!'

They stood in silence for a bit. Luigi was so occupied with checking out the fossils that he didn't know if the one rubbing up against his leg was Polterpup or Polterkitty.

'Luigi,' Daisy said, breaking the silence. 'I'm sorry. I didn't understand.'

'It's okay. You understand it now.' He sighed. 'This is nice, but we should get going. Did Gus have a button?'

'Yep.' Daisy said. 'B2. You thinking what I'm thinking, Luigi?'

'I, uh, think I am.'

The quartet turned around, ready to advance to the very bottom of this hotel. Only to find someone waiting behind them.

'AHHH!'

'Oh my!'

But it wasn't some horrifying ghost ready to bring them to the boss. It was just Shinypants, fully-repaired.

* * *

'We gots anodder one!' Officer Paul Kruller announced to his fellow ghosts in the container unit.

Just as they predicted, Luigi caught MacFrights and Potter but skipped Morty. So, if their guesswork was correct, Ug would have to be the next one. And, lo and behold, the old caveman ghost carrying a massive bone club was indeed the one who popped into his new jail.

'Ug's back!'

'Dat's anodder friend freed from our boss's freaky mind tricks.'

'Thy clever caveman hath returneth!'

'I did not expect zat you would be defeated.'

Amadeus watched the boys greeting their prehistoric friend, while Chambrea ignored him in favour of slamming her body into the wall some more. The determination of that maid never ceased to astound him.

The old pianist moved himself through the crowd, and bowed before Ug. 'Greetings once again, Ug. I see your plan did not quite work out.'

'Ug surprised.' The caveman said. 'Ug knew Green Man strong, but Flower Lady even stronger! But Flower Lady not very nice. Call Ug stupid!'

Everyone looked at him in shock.

'She called youse stupid?' Kruller questioned. 'Yer da smartest guy in dis entire hotel!'

Ug shrugged. 'Ug not sure. Ug think Flower Lady had preconceived notions. Even thought Ug eaten by T Rex.'

Dr Potter growled. 'I expect nothin' less from that murderin' lass!'

From all the way across the room, Chambrea groaned. 'Oh, would you shut up about her being a plant murderer already?!'

The gardener glared at her. 'Only when yeh shut yer yap 'bout tha briefcase!'

Amadeus pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, long and hard. Every time he thought that they were getting along, the universe came a-knocking saying 'Ya'll mind if I ruin your hopes and dreams'.

'Let Ug guess. Green Man take Chambrea 'possession'. Chambrea get mad. Flower Lady crush Ramos plants. Ramos get mad. Is Ug correct?'

'Ug be very correct.' Amadeus answered, as exasperated as always. 'Ug couldn't be more correct.'

'That isn't even half of it.' Steward said. 'Lemme catch you up. I gave up, Chambrea is insane, Paul got traumatised, Gordon lost his temper, William is delusional, and Ramos makes Chambrea look sane.'

'Sound like old news to Ug.'

A small fight broke out, between Dr Potter and Chambrea. The more irritable of the lot engaged in a battle of pettiness. The others zoned out the fight almost immediately.

'Ug got news though. Do friends remember Polterkitty?'

There was no need to ask that question. Everyone in the hotel knew Polterkitty, and they knew her well.

'Ah yes, zat little feline.' Soulffé said. 'Ms Gravely doesn't seem to pay her much attention anymore. I have managed to slip her some fish far more now zen I ever had before.'

'Youse gots dat right.' Kruller added. 'I remember when our boss woulda shocked us fer even lookin' at dat kitty!'

'And yet,' Steward said. 'We still can't be seen going near her. Something about us not being worthy enough to give her love or something... why would you bring her up?'

Somehow, part of Amadeus already knew the answer. In all his confrontations with his insane boss, he couldn't help but take notice that the kitty never looked especially happy. She always lit up when he entered the room, though.

'Ug found this weird, but... Polterkitty hang out with Green Man.'

'Aye, yon two-timingeth kitty!' MacFrights yelled. 'Luringeth thou green prince intoeth a trap!'

'No no no.' Ug said, shaking his head. 'Polterkitty not attack Green Man. Not even want to, Ug think. Polterkitty want stay with Green Man.'

Silence befell the crew. Even Chambrea and Dr Potter - who two seconds ago were ready to commit re-murder - had stopped. Surely they had misheard him.

'Wait wait wait.' Chambrea said. 'You're kidding, right? Polterkitty. Gravely's literal teacher's pet. _That_ Polterkitty?'

'Ug know Polterkitty when Ug see. Ug know three-tailed ghost cat anywhere. Definitely Polterkitty.'

* * *

'Oh thank Grambi.' Daisy sighed in relief. 'It's just you... Wally, was it?'

Shinypants made a sound similar to a human groan. 'For the final time, it's-! Oh, never mind. Master Morty has sent me to inform you that he has finished editing his movie.'

'Wait, already?'

'It has been approximately seven hours, which is surprisingly longer than it usually takes Master Morty to edit his movies. I have no doubts he wanted to make this one extra special. Seeing as you are the stars, he was wondering if you'd like to see the finished product.'

Luigi smiled. He hadn't expected it to be done so quickly, and the thought of watching it almost made him dance on the spot! His only fear was that Daisy wouldn't want to waste time watching it.

'Oh hell yeah!' Daisy declared.

Luigi looked at her, surprised. 'Really?'

'After what we just went through? We really need it.'

Though Shinypants's face didn't emote at all, his slightly-tilted head indicated confusion.

'Wait a moment... wasn't it Master Luigi who wore the vacuum cleaner?'

It was only then Luigi noticed that she, indeed, had the Poltergust. She wore it for five minutes and already beat a grand ghost with it? And, apparently, Shinypants either didn't notice or didn't care about the bloody bandages wrapped around her chest.

Daisy shrugged. 'We'll deal with it after the movie. Why are we still waiting? Let's go!'

Shinypants led the mortals and the spectral animals back through the simplistic layout of the museum. His manner of walking was rather, well, robotic and thus a little slow, but for once Daisy wouldn't complain about something being slow.

'I do feel bad for you, Luigi.' She said. 'No one watching the movie will be able to hear your real voice. I mean, Wally's voice is beautiful, but I still prefer yours.'

Shinypants stopped walking, for just a moment, so briefly that no member of the quartet noticed it.

'You'll be happy to know,' He said. 'That your original voice remains in the finished product.'

'Woah, really?' Daisy questioned. 'I thought you were going to redub him or something.'

'That was Master Morty's original vision, but we found that my voice simply did not fit the character as Master Luigi created him. And,' He paused. 'I simply thought that Master Luigi deserved to have his real voice in the movie.'

That last sentence came out noticeably faster, as if he was embarrassed to admit he did something out the kindness of his 'heart'. Now Luigi felt just slightly less excited to watch the movie. He had doubts he'd like to hear his voice talking back to him. Still...

'Um, t-thanks, Mr Daniels.' He said. 'I-I hope Mr Morty still gives you credit for, um, something.'

'I would certainly hope so!'

* * *

The entire backstage area had been transformed. Morty had set up several rows of chairs - far more than he needed for his relatively small group of friends, considering that Gustavo was too busy and Grace couldn't be found - and a projector screen over the doors to the City Set. All the ghost friends had already taken their seats, leaving two seats in the middle front row for the main stars. He even left two little 'reserved' signs for them. Better yet, no one commented on Daisy's battle scars; it seemed too intrusive to ask.

Luigi and Daisy took their seats, the former getting that slight nauseous feeling he often got when walking into a movie theatre. Polterkitty took no delay perching herself on his lap. Polterpup, not too concerned, settled for Daisy's instead. The plumber found it a little upsetting that Shinypants - who was incapable of sitting down with ease - had to stand behind him instead of relaxing along with them.

Morty stood in front of the projection screen, gesturing wildly. 'Ladies and gentleman, robots, cats, and dogs alike, I present to you... Serlida and Beegio! What a masterpiece! Filled with gripping action, dripping with emotion... Oh, and the suspense! It has it all! Feast your eyes on THIS! If it is not the very definition of true art, I do not know what is!'

At this point, his overdramatic speeches were perfectly normal to the mortals.

'Meryl, roll the film!'

And thus, the movie properly began. The words 'Written, Edited, and Directed by Morty Spookus' appeared on the screen for a second, before grand music began as it cut to everyone else's names. Each name was on screen for a few good seconds, with great big font that flew dramatically into view.

**Luigi! Daisy! Scarlett! Brad! Polterpup! C**... wait, that name must be an error.

But not just the people on the floor got credited. Music by Amadeus Wolfgeist and DJ Phantasmagloria. Sets built by Johnny Deepend. Lights wired by Clem and Billie Hayseed. Plants grown by Ramos Potter.

After the credits, it cut to a bold opening crawl describing the plot in an overdramatic fashion. **A HORRIBLE BEAST HAS ATTACKED THE BEAUTIFUL HOME PLANET OF BRAVE HEROINE SERLIDA AND HER GREATEST FRIEND BEEGIO.** That kind of stuff. Before you could let that whole thing sink it, we immediately went to that odd-shaped spaceship soaring through space.

And in the cockpit, were the titular heroes.

'_We barely escaped with our lives, Beegio_.' Serlida said overdramatically. '_That horrific beast decimated all we knew and loved. Worse yet, she gave us cookies that were TOO CHEWY!_'

Luigi's flat 'what' had been edited out.

'_If we have even a chance to survive, we have to go... wherever the heck we're going. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night_...'

Beegio proceeded to stutter out his next line, edited to sound far more coherent. '_Y-Yeah, the Evil Beast i-is gonna w-wipe us out!_'

The mortals knew, for a fact, that was not what Luigi said. Morty's editing powers were beyond them. The rest of the scene played out almost the same way it did on scene, including Serlida pressing the wrong buttons.

'Oh my!' Shinypants yelped as the ship got shot at. 'AHHH!'

Luigi, who knew the movie incredibly well at this point, turned around to look at his robot friend. Even through the blank face, he emanated fear. The way he seemed to be trying to back away into the row of chairs behind him didn't help.

'This... scares you?' Luigi asked, more snarky than he intended.

'What? It... it certainly does not!' Shinypants retorted. 'Why would I be scared of such silly special effects?'

Inevitably, when part of the ship exploded in a way that absolutely did not happen on the set, you can guess the punchline.

'AAHHHH!'

Luigi felt bad for laughing. 'You're scared of everything too?'

'Well, I-I wouldn't say everything.'

Polterpup snickered. '**But I'm sure toasters are on that list.**'

'You stay out of this!'

Just as Morty had described earlier, it seemed the ship would need to make a crash-landing on the nearest planet.

'_OH MY STARS!_' Serlida yelled. '_Our thrusters were shot!_'

'_I-Is that bad?_' Beegio asked.

'_You're darn tooting it's bad! We MUST make an emergency landing THIS VERY MOMENT!_'

Morgan shook his head. 'I keep telling him, this dialogue is dumb.'

'And you're complaining... why?' Scarlett asked. 'The awful dialogue is what makes these movies great!'

The setting shifted to the Fairy Forest, which looked the same as before aside from the wreck of the ship in the middle of a field.

'Hey!' Daisy cried. 'I would_ never_ crash my ship like that!'

Serlida, Beegio, and Buddy emerged from the wreckage. Serlida was a little scuffed up, but otherwise everyone emerged unharmed. Somehow.

'_I don't know where we've landed, Beegio_.' Serlida said. '_But we cannot give up! We must find a way to find back against that horrid beast, even after her space soldiers gunned us down from the sky!_'

'_But... how do we do that?_' Beegio asked. '_Our ship has been reduced to mere scrap! We have no chance of surviving her wrath!_'

'_Not with that attitude, we ain't!_'

Brad laughed to himself. 'You can always tell which lines were edited in.'

'Absol. Lutely.' Sigourney agreed.

Cue the dragon fight. Yes, you could still see the gears exposed.

It made Leonardo laugh. 'Exposed gears. Ah, classic Morty.'

'That's the joy of it!' Morty declared. 'It is far more fun seeing the literal nuts and bolts behind every great production!'

Beegio was grabbed and had his arm ripped off and chomped to pieces. Luigi was brought out of it a little by the sounds of Shinypants rattling behind him. He said nothing, but he noticed a look of annoyance on Daisy's face.

'Miaow?'

That annoyed look got worse. Luigi paid it no attention, and gave Polterkitty the gentle stroking on the head that she deserved. If he had to be honest, he was more surprised he got along with Polterpup instead of his feline counterpart. He had always been more of a cat person.

When Serlida punched the dragon in the face, the scene continued even after Beegio plummeted back to the ground below. By that, I mean that Serlida proceeded to punch the daylights out of her.

'_It's over, Dragon!_' She yelled, knocking a tooth out. '_I have the high ground_!'

Daisy tried to contain her laughter, only to spit everywhere. 'Oh wow... I wish _I_ came up with that one.'

'Really?' Luigi asked. 'I thought 'you repulsive reptile' was pretty good.'

'But randomly declaring that I 'have the high ground'? Unbeatable.'

The dragon fell to the ground, making the gears that made her up even more visible. For a split-second, you can even see the Mini-Trapper who possessed him.

'Oh my Jaydes, are you kidding me?' Morgan groaned. 'You can literally see me!'

Scarlett snickered. 'Don't act like it doesn't make you enjoy it more.'

'It does.' Sigourney said. 'And it also makes me think I need to fire my agent.'

Serlida and Buddy rejoined Beegio at the well, where Sadamura Yamako gave them directions in a language that only Beegio could understand.

'_Flylolvdwlrq lv wkdw zdb, brx vwxeeruq lglrw!_' Sadamura yelled in frustration.

Luigi laughed just like before, but now Shinypants joined in on it. Daisy, with a groan, turned around to the robotic being.

'Mind telling me what she's saying?' She asked.

'A literal translation would be, and I quote, 'civilisation is that way, you stubborn idiot'.'

'Hey!'

'Don't you get angry at me! I am merely translating what she said.'

She scoffed. 'You're just saying that so you can get away with-'

'No, he's right.' Luigi said. 'Word-for-word.'

Daisy plopped back in her seat, pouting just a little.

The movie cut to a quick montage of our trio - minus Beegio's arm - waltzing through the forest. They came across many things: a trio of bickering fairies, a group of about one hundred Dalmatian puppies, a lion hanging out with a meerkat and warthog, a monkey with a fez... a lot of weird things that the trio did not acknowledge.

'Alright, we get it Morty.' Brad said, swallowing his popcorn. 'You really like referencing your influences.'

'Well, zat is how zee director sees eet.' Meryl said. 'He believes zat he must give credit to zose who came before him.'

The trio arrived at the sunset cliff. Serlida had scraps all over her bare skin, but showed no signs of slowing down. Beegio, on the other hand...

'_My power is running low_.' He explained. '_Fortunately, I am solar-powered. But if we don't take a quick break to recharge I may have to shut down_.'

Serlida gritted her teeth. '_Dang it! I underestimated your power levels severely! Oh well, I suppose we can take a break. Look over there! There's a conveniently-placed bench that we can rest on_.'

Daisy stole a handful of Brad's popcorn without him noticing. 'Ah. So _that's_ why we randomly stopped by a cliff when the city is literally in frame.'

Luigi leaned forward in his seat. This was the scene he had been waiting for the most, aside from literally any other scene of course. Unfortunately, he forgot about the feline resting in his lap.

'Mroooow!'

'Oh, s-sorry!'

Just as Luigi anticipated, Beegio talked about his mechanical woes. Surprisingly-effective piano music, likely composed prior by Amadeus, amplified the emotions in the already cheesy-yet-sweet scene.

'_Do I... really belong?_' Beegio asked with a shaky voice.

Beegio may have been ninety-five percent machine, but the sadness in his voice was real. Any audience member getting too deep into it would weep.

'_Woah!_' Serlida yelled. '_Where did this come from?! Did our 'script' foreshadow this at all?_'

Granted, the fact that Morty didn't edit that line out ruined the mood a bit, as the stifled giggling from most of the audience could attest to. Yet, it didn't take any of them out of it completely.

'_I-I don't know, but... look around_.' Beegio continued, motioning at everything with his one good arm. '_Everything is living. I'm... I'm not really living, am I? I just don't feel like I fit in_.'

Daisy found herself leaning over too, much to Polterpup's annoyance. It was all to hear Serlida say those immortal words as the music shifted from sad to sweet and almost romantic in one flawless transition.

'_Beegio... you're alive to me._'

The entire ghost audience erupted with a simultaneous 'awww!', some putting more heart into it their others. Morgan and Scarlett's 'awwws' were brief, and Angelina didn't dare have anyone hear her, but Brad and Sigourney went full out with theirs.

When Beegio's organic cheeks blushed, it just made the bizarre scene even cuter. And when Buddy did a little backflip to celebrate the scene got that much better.

'Okay, seriously, why does this work?' Daisy questioned. 'Is it freaky ghost powers, or is Morty some sort of genius we cannot comprehend?'

Morty chuckled. 'Neither! I would NEVER use such ghastly methods to convince my amazing audience to like my movies. Anyone can have whatever opinion they desire to have! As for me, I am no genius. I simply take what has been done before and breathe new life into it!'

He was shockingly close to talking over the next brilliant exchange.

'_Um, I, uh... I-I'm sure it's, uh, unorthodox to fall in love with a cyborg_.'

'_Listen honey, 'unorthodox' is my life_.'

Daisy laughed. 'Oh, I am way more proud of that one than I should be. Just the perfect combination of stupid yet awesome.'

Watching it again from an audience's perspective, Luigi noticed something he didn't before. Serlida was beginning to lean into a kiss, before Buddy alerted them to the beast. Well, more correctly, Daisy was.

But, speaking of which, the loving scene came to an abrupt end as a shadow loomed over the trio. The music changed from the sweet romantic tone to one more harsh and horrific.

'_HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S Beastie!_'

Sigourney laughed in a way that was half 'this is hilarious', and half 'oh my Jaydes, kill me a second time please'.

'You can still see my tail.' She wheezed. 'OH, I love it when Morty leaves this stuff in. Oh ho... it looks AWFUL.'

'ANGELINA LIKE CHEESY SPECIAL EFFECTS. ANGELINA WANT NOTHING ELSE.'

Like on the set, Serlida and Buddy tried to confront the massive Beast... only to get caught in her grasp.

'How did she get so big anyway?' Daisy asked. 'I know ghostly special effects and everything, but... actually, I think I just answered my own question.'

Serlida, in true Worf Effect fashion, could not break free from the Beast's grasp.

'_Let me go, you lousy lizard!_'

'_Ha ha ha ha! As if I would give you up that easily!_'

Daisy's eyes widened in realisation. 'Wait a moment! When I heard Sigourney on set, I just heard a bunch of growls. You telling me she was speaking English this whole time?!'

Luigi shrugged. 'I-I guess. I just assumed her dialogue was being translated for me.'

The Beast emerged from the water as the camera almost intentionally focused on the bare Goob tail. Though the scene ended there on the set, here it kept going.

Beegio ran after the Beast, begging her to drop his friends. She ignored his cries, and waltzed directly through buildings in the fortunately-evacuated city. The best part? One of the buildings she destroyed was indeed a scientist's lab. A ray-gun looking thing flew out of the building, and pointed at Beegio as it hit the ground. It fired out a bluish beam of light that consumed the cyborg, making him rapidly grow up in size until he was bigger than most of the buildings in the city.

'May I ask how this manages to answer how Beegio got so big, yet raise many more questions at once?' Shinypants asked.

'Don't question it, Hal.' Scarlett responded. 'It's Morty.'

Beegio looked down at his gigantic body, slowly coming to the realisation in a manner that gave Luigi some flashbacks. It was near identical to when he first turned giant in the Dream World. Which helped remind him of the 'lovely' Dream Stone spirit.

'_Creaking circuits! I must be fifty feet tall!_'

Shinypants was about to comment that fifty feet was an understatement considering how he towered over the bridge, but decided it simply wasn't worth it.

_'BEEEGIIOOO! I need your help!_'

Beegio heard Serlida's cry for help, and looked as though he nearly shut down from fear.

'_I... I can't possibly save her. I am just a simple cyborg. I'm weak. I'm scared. I can't possibly do this._'

'Stop giving yourself such horrible insults!' Shinypants said. 'Of course you can do it!'

Daisy chuckled a little. As if listening to the golden robot, Beegio put on a determined glare. How fitting that a character played by Luigi had such a perfect death stare.

'How _do_ you have such a creepy stare?' Daisy asked.

'Competition on the tracks.' Luigi said. 'Then it circulated as a joke. Now I have to appease people.'

'_Is this it?_' Beegio wondered out-loud. '_Is this the time the scared little robot becomes the hero? When I finally get to do something awesome?' _He held his fist into the air._ 'I CAN BE A HERO! I'll save you Serlida! And Buddy too._'

A somewhat anime-ish effect of dramatic white streaks surrounded Beegio, right before he charged into battle.

'You can do it, Beegio!' Luigi cheered.

The ghosts cheered the not-so-little robot on. The epic tone kinda faltered a bit when Beegio accidentally knocked a car into the water.

'_Sorry!_'

Daisy giggled. 'Of course. Even when he's about to be awesome he still has to apologise for something.'

The props of Serlida and Buddy tied to the top of a building looked impressive from a distance, but in the singular close-up shot they looked like tiny cardboard cut-outs. Mostly because they were. Beautiful.

And then the Beast showed up. To be fair to the crazy director, the effect of making Beegio and the Beast gigantic looked very convincing. Just ignore the boom mic that appeared for a split second.

'_Beegio! Get outta here while you still can!_'

'Where would Beegio even go?' Leonardo asked, chuckling.

Beegio tried to convince the Beast that they could be friends, only for her to brush it off by claiming a robot couldn't understand friendship. In response to this claim, Shinypants put his hands on his hips and made a 'hmph!' sound.

Need I tell you how this scene plays out? You read it back in chapter sixteen. But, dang, did things become strangely dramatic thanks to the ominous disco-y music - yes, _really_ \- playing in the background. And yes, that 'power of justice' line was even crazier thanks to said music.

Just like how it played out on set, the deflected fireball ended up destroying Sigourney's costume. While the confusion in the actors' faces was still obvious, most of the lines that made it _really_ blatant that this was a mistake were removed.

Beegio gasped. '_Beast? You were a ghost possessing a beastly costume this whole time?_'

'_Um, uh... yes! I definitely was this whole time! Not at all intended to be a beast from the gecko - uh, get-go_.'

Sigourney slammed her face into her hands. 'Oh, but you still kept _that_ in! I am never getting hired after this.'

In spite of how awkward the poor Goob felt - both in and out of the movie - Beegio managed to convince the Beast (which is supposedly still her name now) to be friends as the music turned into a delightful classical/disco hybrid.

'_Beast, I, uh, think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship_.'

'So, is the movie going go on, or...?' Daisy asked.

The answer to her question came swiftly, as while the credits rolled - which consisted of people barely involved - a happy little montage showed the heroes and the Beast returning to various planets to help the giant ghost fix what she had broken. After returning Beegio back to normal size, of course. Since Morty had no real footage of these 'planets' to work with, the shots looked a little off. The backgrounds were blatantly CGI, and the characters were photoshopped in. But who would care, aside from the purists? The scenes were too oddly adorable for any bad special effects to ruin.

The credits lingered on one trio of names - Lucille, Harrison, and Adriana, all ending with the last name 'Spookus'. Everyone watching erupted into applause. Even Shinypants, though he struggled to move his joints quite a bit.

'WHOOO!' Daisy cheered. 'I don't know what I just watched, but I loved it!'

Luigi cringed, not from the movie but because of the loud clapping. Polterkitty didn't seem to like it either, as she allowed Luigi to wrap his arms around her. While she loved the movie, she had a sad look in her eyes.

'You okay, Gattina?'

'**I want to be in a movie.**'

He stroked her behind the ears. 'If there's sequel, I'll make sure you're in it.'

As the audience continued to cheer, Meryl removed the film reel from the projector and turned the lights back on. Morty could contain his excitement no more, and flew around the room like an out of control airplane. He stood in front of the projector screen as Meryl rolled it back up.

'I've done it! I've finally done it!' He declared. 'Thanks to my brilliant actors, I have produced the greatest movie that I will ever make! I have tried for decades and decades, never quite hitting that spark. But now... now? I have finally NAILED IT!'

The other ghosts in the room continued to cheer him on, as he bowed and clapped for them too.

Then, something strange happened. Morty's body began to glow, the light getting progressively brighter. The applause died down, slowly, as the revelation as to what was going on sunk into every one of them.

'Uh... what's happening?' Daisy asked, she and Luigi growing uneasy.

Morty, in an uncharacteristically calm manner, floated over to Luigi and lifted his hands into his. The plumber seized up from the unexpected contact.

'Luigi,' Morty said, surprisingly relaxed. 'I would just like to thank you, one last time.'

Luigi gasped. Tears came to his eyes, but he still managed to smile. Daisy watched in shock.

'L-Luigi?'

'Morty,' Luigi said. 'I have to thank you too. I never thought I'd get to be in a movie. And for the button. And the, uh... you get it.'

Luigi turned to Daisy. The princess looked more than distressed, in contrast to Polterpup who understood what was going on.

'Say goodbye, Daisy.'

Daisy breathed in slowly. 'Goodbye, Morty.'

'Yip yip.'

'Meeeooow!'

Morty let go of Luigi's hands, and floated back. Luigi reached out, as if trying to anchor him down, but chose to wave instead.

'Goodbye, everyone!' Morty announced, waving to the entire audience. 'See you on the other side!'

The glow grew so bright, it consumed his whole body. Polterkitty hopped out of Luigi's lap and ran over to the blinding light.

'Miaaa-ooow!'

She reached out to him, but it accomplished nothing. The light slowly faded away, as all the other ghosts and even Shinypants said their goodbyes.

'Bye Morty.'

'Bye-bye!'

'May your maker treat you well.'

'Goodbye...'

When the bright light vanished, Morty was gone. Silence befell the studio. Luigi wiped his eyes, and continued staring at where Morty stood with a genuine soft smile.

'You're welcome, Morty.'

'Um...' Daisy stammered. 'W-What just happened? W-Where did Morty go?'

Polterkitty jumped back into Luigi's arms, burying herself into his chest. He held her close enough to feel her shaking.

'You were good friends with him, weren't you?'

'Mmrow...'

Daisy turned around to the rest of the audience. She had never seen such a combination of happy yet sad before. Strangely, most of the mix was happiness. Scarlett and Brad held hands. Angelina beat her chest triumphantly. Leonardo tipped his hat. Morgan continued to clap. Sigourney had her hands on her chest. Meryl saluted.

'If I may, Mistress Daisy,' Shinypants said, catching her attention. 'You might be aware that when people die, they may become ghosts.'

'Uh, yeah duh. Mind explaining what just happened?'

'People become ghosts when they have something to finish. It could be anything between yearning to tell a joke's punchline, needing to make sure they had a fulfilling life, or even wanting to say goodbye to their loved ones one last time. Master Morty wished to make the greatest movie ever made, and you and your counterparts helped him finish what he set out to do.'

Luigi stood up, and hoisted the Poltergust back onto his shoulders. Daisy's eyes widened as she started to get it.

'And when we helped him do that...'

'He had no reason to remain as a ghost anymore. Thus, he finally got to fade away peacefully.'

Daisy fell into stunned silence. She stammered out some words that couldn't possibly be anything coherent. She looked around. The other ghosts had smiles on their faces, as if they hadn't just witnessed their old friend vanishing. Even Luigi took it well. Only Polterkitty seemed to be saddened by it.

'And we're... okay with that?!' She questioned. 'He's gone now!'

'Oh Daisy, you don't get it.' Leonardo said. 'He's not truly gone. He's still with us. Just in a... different way. We'll never know how it feels until it happens, but they always seem happy when they pass. I've only seen it myself twice before.'

'And he was the first ghost here to go to boot!' Morgan added. 'The both of you oughta be proud of yourselves!'

Pride wasn't exactly the emotion Daisy felt; it was bewilderment instead. She stood up from her seat, and placed her hand on Luigi's shoulder.

'You sure you're okay, sweetie?' She asked. 'If this has got you down, it's okay to show it.'

He put his hand over hers and smiled. 'I'm fine. It's sad, but happy. Uh, you know what I mean.'

Daisy managed to smile too. 'Yeah. I get it.'

The mortals and their pets remained in silence for a few seconds, even after Angelina began putting the chairs away.

'You guys wanna stay for a while?' Brad offered. 'Judging by those, um, scratches on your chest this adventure has been quite the tough one.'

Daisy shook her head. 'Fraid we can't do that. Not yet, at least. The movie was fantastic, but if we wanna save our friends we have to move on now.'

Sigourney shrugged. 'Eh, that's fine. But if you guys ever get stressed, you know just where to go.'

The floor seemed far more quiet without Morty around to give big dramatic speeches, almost on par with the museum floor above. It made Luigi shudder.

'Are, um, you guys gonna be fine?' He asked.

'Don't worry about us!' Scarlett said. 'The movie industry doesn't end just because one director has passed, especially when his creations continue to live on.'

'ANGELINA HAD MOVIE IN MIND. ANGELINA GET BACK TO MOVIE RIGHT NOW. ANGELINA BE SURE TO PUT DEDICATION AT END.'

Meryl took the film reel back into the director's office, which she decided from this moment was going to be hers now.

'Where you going now?' Sigourney asked.

'Floor B2, the Boilerworks.' Daisy answered.

Immediately all the ghosts cringed at once. It helped give Luigi and Daisy a horrible feeling of dread.

* * *

Hellen Gravely was smiling. Not because another one of her workers had been captured, nor because Morty finally got to move on, and only _partially_ because that movie was hilariously awful. Her attention, when it wasn't spent on the movie, had been focused on the footage of her catty pet.

She had watched Polterkitty fight back against the plumber and the princess, leaving deep scars on the latter no less, but that wasn't why she was so proud. The way her pet feigned crossing over to the good side like that? One of the most brilliant moves she had ever seen, and she hadn't even thought of it herself.

'Good job, darling.' She said, laughing to herself. 'That plumber will never see it coming! I should've known my own pet wouldn't settle for just dragging his sorry hind to me. But this... let him feel the pain of betrayal before we hand him over to our sweetheart. King Boo will adore me for sure!'

The hotel owner knew that she could at least rely on her precious feline to get the job done. Unlike King Boo - poor guy simply couldn't get his minions to work for him this time. Apparently, they said that King Boo was 'too insane and off-the-rails' even for them. What joy they were missing out on...

Hellen could rest somewhat easy now, knowing that even if her remaining workers failed to deliver Luigi, her pet certainly wouldn't.

* * *

_**MORTY, THE OVERDRAMATIC DIRECTOR**_

_AGE - 30_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Unknown_

_Mortimer Spookus fell in love with making movies at a very young age. He desired to make the greatest movie ever made, but failed to before his untimely death. So, he keeps making movies until he succeeds at his goal. Once he does so, he'll finally be able to join his parents and sister._

_**GUS T, THE GRUMPY MUSHROOM**_

_Gus T is the blue Toad who tagged along, and was kidnapped by Ug. He has a habit of complaining a lot, and often yells at others who annoy him. Granted, he seems to get the short end of the stick a lot, and in most cases his whining is justified._

* * *

**Author Notes - I have no idea why I couldn't be bothered to proofread this damn chapter for a while. The next chapter is already finished, what is my schedule any more? Because I am simultaneously working on a few other projects, which includes a retelling of_ WALL-E_ with the droids from _Star Wars_ if you care to read that, production on this story may slow down a little. We'll see. Especially since the Boilerworks are the worse.**

**So... why are ghosts ghosts? They have something they have to finish. Once they finish that, they can move on. Originally, that scene was going to be far more brutal, with Luigi breaking down crying, but I decided that I needed less brutal scenes and went for something still sad but much more uplifting.**

**As for Luigi's meltdown... Sensory Overload: overstimulation of the senses. ****To say the least, I have indeed done what Luigi did at least once or twice. Meltdowns are hard, as society doesn't want to see them and considers it childish behaviour. If you wanna know what sensory overload feels like, there's plenty of videos online that emulate it. I do warn you, they are far from a pleasant experience. There's a reason why I f***ing hate coffee shops.**

* * *

_Morty's little sister Adriana hadn't heard from him in ages. Last time she saw him, he had been working on that 'greatest movie ever' project, so he could recreate the feeling that the makers of Snow White and the Seven Toads had when everyone loved that movie._

_His movies were... a special kind. For all intents and purposes, they were awful. Loaded with silly dialogue and cheesy special effects. Yet, the charm and love poured into every frame made them so much fun to watch. Just as Morty intended._

_While he was exceedingly proud of every single one of his crew members, he never seemed proud of himself for 'failing his friends' by never producing the best he could. Adriana loved that about her big brother._

_She found him dead in his home, leaning over an unfinished treatment labelled 'The Heroine and Her Robot Friend'. __No one knew why he died. A jealous actor? An unknown health problem?_

_Adriana initially thought she was going insane when she heard his overdramatic speeches about her at night. She died earnestly believing his ghost was trying to tell her that he was okay._


	20. Hoe-Down By the Boilerworks

**Author Notes - YAY! Everyone's most favouritest level in the game. Personally I like it (banjos and all), but most people don't. For many reasons. Oh hai rubber duck floaty thing! ****But to say the least, I'll try to make this cursed floor interesting. Especially since we'll be here for three chapters.**

**Also, according to my dictionary/spellcheck, 'Boilerworks' is a word the game made up.  
**

**What's this? It appears that nexus4123 has followed my story!**

**(Random note, I picked up Battle for Bikini Bottom: Rehydrated. Perhaps flaws and in need of some extra patches, but still fun as heck!)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - HOE-DOWN BY THE BOILERWORKS**

Luigi decided, immediately upon stepping out the door, that the Boilerworks were not meant to be visited by guests. Why the elevator - which would be predominately used by guests, surely - went down to this floor was a mystery to him.

The place seemed to be unfinished, like they forgot to cover up all the pipes and foundation. Luigi could see metal plates, steel scaffolding, and dusty concrete walls that gorgeous wood would normally hide. Steam poured out of the pipes, and the smell of steel piping and sawdust was thick in the air.

But why would they bother covering up everything? It was just for the workers. Supposedly.

'Well.' Daisy said, banging an exposed pipe with her fist. 'This is a fine welcome, now isn't it. YOW!' She jumped away when the metal of the pipe turned out to be far hotter than expected.

Polterpup sniffed a toolbar that lay by the wall. It smelled of banjos, whiskey, and rubber ducks. An odd combination to be sure.

Polterkitty tugged on Luigi's pant leg, as if trying to give it another tear. 'Mow-meow.'

'You'll take us to where you think the button is?' Luigi echoed.

Daisy rolled her eyes, but said nothing. She was going to stick by her 'you trust her, I trust you' mentality even if it killed her.

Polterkitty scampered down a hallway to the left - why were they always to the left? - and the others had little choice but to follow her. It led to a metal door right at the very end, and had some wooden scaffolding, a workdesk, and a massive pipe travelling from the floor to the ceiling along the way. Not to mention the few, slightly-out-of-place rubber duckies in costumes scattered on the floor.

And something else. Something that made Luigi, Polterpup, and Polterkitty stop in their tracks.

'So what are we-?' Daisy tried to ask, before Luigi held his hand up for her to stop. 'What? ... Oh.'

There was a ghost, lying down and leaning up against the workbench like it was a pillow. Judging by how he looked much more humanoid than the Goobs, he must've been one of the 'Grand Ghosts'. He had neck-long unkempt blond hair, as well as short hairs on his chin. His white singlet and blue overalls had clearly not been washed in ages, and his green gloves and blue cap did not look much better.

'Wow.' Daisy muttered. 'He looks like someone who'd get a little too close to his sister.'

Luigi gulped. 'Uh, P-Polterkitty,' He whispered. 'W-Who is that?'

'Mmm... miaow-yow.'

'C-Clem? And h-he has the next button?'

Luigi backed up a little, and Polterkitty did just the same thing. Daisy silently clenched her fists, while Polterpup braced himself for a sudden attack.

'I bet that if we sneak up on him,' She said, stepping forward as quietly as possible. 'I can bash the button outta him before he wakes up.'

_*SQUE-EAK*_

'MROOOW!'

Everyone tensed up. Polterkitty hadn't watched where she was going and tripped over a rubber ducky, triggering its squeak and scaring the heck of herself. In the silence of the room, it seemed especially loud.

Clem's eyes opened up slowly. 'Dumplin'... was that ya just squeakin'?'

Daisy glared at the kitty, seeming aiming her fists at her now. 'You stupid cat...'

Clem lifted up the brim on his cap, and when he saw our heroes his whole face lit up.

'Woah! Hooooooooooooooooooo-wee! Looks likes Ah found maself a coupla wayward guests!'

The quartet still didn't move, not wishing to run away but willing to give him a chance.

'Ah don't knows why y'all are down here. It ain't no place fer tha guests!'

The genuine smile on his face faded away, and he bonked the back of his head several times as if trying to swat an annoying insect.

He let out a sigh. 'Seems likes ma boss thinks now's a good time tah mess wit' ma brains. Ah don't approve of that no moar, but whaddya gonna do?'

Daisy groaned. 'You could, I dunno, try to fight it.'

Clem shrugged. 'Eh. Sounds like too much effort tah do somethin' like that. Ah hope y'all don't mind none!'

Her expression should've answered it for him - yes, yes she did mind. She minded a lot, actually. He took no notice of it, and just spat into his gloves before rubbing his hands together, much to Luigi's disgust.

'Looks like Ah gots a job tah do. Normally Ah wouldn't bother, but ma boss says Ah should and Ah sure as moonshine ain't disobeyin' that dixie!'

He floated up to a valve attached to the big pipe, and with his spit-soaked gloves gave it a spin. Thanks to the valve seeing very rare use it took a little bit of struggling to get it, but when he did he laughed mockingly. Water could be heard flowing through the pipe faster than before.

It was then that Luigi noticed that he was standing right by the pipe, right next to latch that looked like it could be opened with a strong enough force.

'Uh oh...'

The latch shot open, and water fired out directly into Luigi's face.

'Wah!'

The pressure knocked him down, and the coldness of it nearly sent him into shock. He held his hands up to block the watery blast, but it accomplished little. Worse, though the water looked clear it certainly didn't taste clean.

Some of it splashed into Polterkitty's face.

'MRYOOOW!'

The feeling of the liquid against her ghostly fur immediately made her panic.

'Sweetie!'

Daisy tried to hold the latch down, but the water fought with so much force that even she couldn't fight back against it.

Clem just laughed it up, pointing at them like a fourth-grade bully. 'Ah never git tired of watchin' othas gittin' splashed!'

Daisy directed her glare at him. 'And I never get tired of punching jerks in the face!'

The redneck's smile dropped. 'Well, come tah think a it, Ah think one a tha pipes needed a li'l bidda work. See y'all later, li'l doggies!'

Smirking at them for one last 'screw you', Clem hightailed out of there through the metal door. By then, Polterpup - with great difficulty - managed to turn the valve back round and stop the flow of water.

'Luigi, are you okay?' Daisy asked.

The plumber spat out some more of the awful-tasting water, and got to his feet. 'I'm remembering why Mario and I stopped being professional plumbers.'

Once Daisy was certain the worst Luigi sustained was a damp moustache, she leered at Polterkitty. The ghost cat stood perfectly still, her face still dripping. She seemed as if getting hit by the water traumatised her.

'Good job, _kitty_.'

That final word came out with such poison and bitterness, that it snapped Polterkitty out of her trance. Now her terrified look was aimed at Daisy instead.

'Meow?'

'Because of your brilliant show of competence, you have officially wasted our time.'

Polterkitty's eyes widened and her ears flattened. Luigi felt his heart sinking as he looked into those frightened blue eyes.

'Daisy, you shouldn't-'

The way Mean Lady towered over Polterkitty, giving her that domineering glare, reminded her of the many, many moments Master brought her anger out on her.

'And that's assuming you didn't just do it on purpose.'

'DAISY!'

Luigi yelled louder than he ever wanted to, but it did what it needed to - it got Daisy's attention. The moment she looked to him, all the anger disappeared from her face.

'Okay sweetie,' She said, a little too calmly considering how terrified Polterkitty was. 'What is it?'

For once, he didn't feel hesitant in explaining himself.

'That isn't fair, Daisy.'

'And why not? She's the entire reason this trip has probably been extended to three hours!'

'The same way I was the reason our trip to the Garden Suites was so long?'

Daisy flinched. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a single 'uh'.

'Is... is this really how you felt about what I did in the garden?' He asked with watery eyes.

'What? No! Of course not. That was an accident. I would've done the same thing!'

'But what if _I_ stepped on that ducky? Or Polterpup? Or even _you_?'

Daisy wanted to retort with something - anything! But nothing came up. So, she simply slumped her arms and sighed.

'Good lord, what am I doing?' She wondered out loud. 'I know I should be more fair, but... but she tried to hurt you and bring her to Ms Gravely! And she's literally Hellen's pet. It's hard for me to-'

She stopped when she felt something rubbing against her leg. Polterkitty rubbed her cheeks over the bare skin, simultaneously saying 'this is mine' and 'it is alright'.

Luigi smiled. 'I think she forgives you.'

'Heh. Let's hope I'll be able to do the same thing.'

Polterpup put his nose to the floor, suspecting that the scent of a three-day-long hoedown had to be the ghost. The fact that everything smelled like 'moonshine' threw him off a bit.

'**Don't worry, Master.**' He said. '**I'll track that moonshiner down.**'

The next room past the metal door was, well, something else. It looked even less finished, with metal plates covering the floor and an entire wall replaced by a network of pipes and valves. That wasn't what surprised everyone.

'Uh...' Luigi murmured.

'Alrighty.' Daisy said.

Two ghosts, an Oozer and a Slinker, both wearing straw hats, chillaxed by the pipes. The Oozer rested the back of his head on his hands, while the Slinker strummed a calm tune on her banjo. The Oozer tapped his tail on the floor to the slow beat of the song.

'Gimme a home...' The Slinker sang. 'Where tha polterpups roam...'

The ghostbusters and their pets could do little beyond just watching with a mix of 'huh' and 'why'. The Oozer glanced their way, looked at them for a few seconds, and with a rather delayed reaction yelped and took to the air.

'Oh nelly!' He said. 'It looks like we've been spotted by that there prissy li'l princess! And tha orange one too. Let's git oudda here, Tammy!'

He flew into one of the pipes, and was seemingly washed away. The Slinker, whose name was apparently Tammy, was too deep into her banjo-playing to notice her friend slipping away. Or the mortals watching her in shock either.

'And I t'was chillin' by tha pipes, before ma friend ran away.' She sang. 'And tha mortals have arrived, an' they're here tah stay.'

Or, she did notice and just didn't care. Even when Daisy stomped up to her with clenched fists. Tammy just glanced at her for a moment, and returned to her strumming. She pulled out a piece of wheat from behind her and put it in her mouth.

'Well, ain't y'all that group who's bustin' them ghosts left n' right?' She said, without any fear at all.

'Yeah. We are.' Daisy said. 'So I suggest you start a-running.'

Tammy just strummed her banjo. 'Ah knows y'all well. Ah've heard stories of y'all - well, mostly tha green one - bein' nice tah ghosts who ain't no fighters. So, Ah knows Ah won't be hurt if'n Ah don't do nothin'.'

Daisy sighed. 'Okay, I see this conversation is going nowhere. Com'on guys, let's just get that button back.'

The princess held the door open, waiting for her green-clad counterpart to follow her. Luigi only made it halfway across the room when Tammy spoke to him.

'Ah warn ya, Greenie. Ma bosses down 'ere ain't no nice guys no moar. They t'was nice before, but when ol' Miss Gravely gits involved, ain't no one escapin'. That advice goes fer y'all too, princess.'

Luigi scratched the back of his neck. 'Uh, I'll keep that in mind.'

'Luigi!' Daisy called. 'Polterpup and the cat too. Let's stop talking to the miscreants and get going.'

Tammy glared at her. 'Be thankful Ah'm a veeerrry stubborn ghost.'

Luigi followed Daisy through the door, and found a room much more open than the last. It had to have been at least two storeys. Two giant red pipes in the ceiling constantly dropped bucketloads of water into a circular pit surrounded by steel plates.

On top of the metallic pit was an 'L'-shaped platform, leading from about where he stood to a ladder. The ladder led to a steel platform on the second storey, and what could only be described as a giant metal bank lock.

There was another second-storey steel platform all the way on the other side of the room, that didn't need the platform to get to. Its ladder, however, was folded up at the top. Next to the pit was a red box with a fan. A wet floor sign and a banjo could be seen leaning against the walls.

Luigi cringed - the waterfalls hitting the shallow water travelling along in the pit below was a little louder than he anticipated. Despite that, he could hear Tammy's banjo-playing rather clearly through the pipes.

'Oh no.' Daisy said. 'I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this.'

Polterkitty froze and stared a thousand miles into the distance. The sight of all that water, pouring down from the ceiling, locked up every nerve in her body. Luigi noticed.

'You okay, Gattina?' He asked, kneeling down and stroking her.

The feeling of his warm glove relaxed her a bit. '**I don't like water. At all.**'

'That's fine. Most cats don't.'

Polterpup, almost getting distracted by the water, followed the hoedown scent across the 'L'-shaped platform until he reached the ladder. He was beginning to find that moonshine quite aromatic. He floated to the higher platform, and stood his ground like a proud little lion.

'Arf arf!'

'He says Clem is up that ladder and through the door thing.'

'Then that's where we're going.'

Daisy climbed up the ladder without a problem, but when Luigi tried going up too it reminded him just how much that Poltergust dragged him down. He could feel himself struggling to lift himself up more than usual.

'**Water. Water. Water.**'

And he just noticed that a terrified Polterkitty had perched onto his Poltergust to boot. Fortunately, she wasn't heavy at all; lighter than Polterpup in fact. There's a lot of 'Polter' in this story, isn't there?

'It's okay.' He reassured the scared kitty. 'I won't let you fall into the water.'

Daisy looked at the bank vault door with her hand on her chin. It had an arrow that currently pointed to the 'locked' symbol. It didn't take a genius to guess one had to move it to the 'unlocked' symbol instead.

'Not exactly much of a lock, huh?'

She reached her hands out to turn the valve connected to the arrow, when she heard someone knocking on glass. She and the rest of her team looked to the long window next to the door, and saw Clem waving to them on the other side.

Luigi gulped. Polterpup growled. Polterkitty began to rethink her choice of side.

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Alright bud, give us the button and y'all go free.'

Clem snickered. 'Y'all really think Ah'd done fall fer that? Ah ain't as dumb as Billie. Hey, y'all wanna see a cool trick o' mine?'

'Not really, n-'

'Hooo nelly! Check this out!'

He flew away, back into the big room on the other side of that window. His specific destination was a machine resting on a high metal platform, one with pipes moving in and out of it. With a lot of struggle, he managed to flip the big red switch to an upright position.

'Oh, I have a _very_ bad feeling about this.' Daisy remarked.

Turned out, that switch activated a mechanism to block off one of the outlets. And it turned out that the outlet in particular was important, as water began to flood the room until the level met the steel floor below the machine. And, as Luigi found out when he leaned over the railing, it wasn't just that room. The clamber the group was in also filled with water, quick enough to send Polterkitty into a panic. It stopped just a couple of feet away from where they stood.

'Neat trick.' Daisy deadpanned. 'Now give us the button.'

'Now darlin', tha trick ain't done yet. I wancha tah look intah tha water.'

Daisy groaned, and doing as he instructed she joined Luigi in staring into the watery abyss. After a few seconds, seemingly nothing happened. But Daisy narrowed her eyes. She could've sworn she saw something approaching them from the darkness.

'Huh?' Her eyes shot wide open. 'Luigi! Get ba-!'

'HOWDY, Y'ALL! Name's Billie!'

Another ghost emerged from the water like a shark. In the half-a-second Luigi had to process the scene, he noticed that this other ghost looked almost exactly like Clem. The only visual difference was that they wore their long hair in a ponytail.

'GIT 'IM, SIS!' Clem yelled.

Billie grabbed Luigi by the hands, and pulled him over the railing.

'WAH!'

'Luigi!'

'Yiiip!'

Luigi tumbled overboard and landed with a splash. His heart raced when he felt his entire body get submerged in the waters. Clem and Billie watched and laughed with glee as he began to sink.

'LUIGI!'

Luigi flailed his arms and legs on instinct, trying his damnedest to keep his head above water. But no matter how hard he tried, the Poltergust dragged him down. He could see the water surface moving away from him. The only good part was that Luigi, just like most Mushroom Kingdom residents, could hold his breath for a few minutes. But definitely not forever.

Daisy stopped caring about her own safety, and vaulted over the railing herself. Polterpup dove after her. Polterkitty stayed away from the water's edge. No matter what, she couldn't go near that liquid. Clem saw her, and phased back through the window.

'Hey sis,' He said. 'How 'bout y'all go after tha mortals while Ah deal with tha cat?'

Billie huffed. 'Tha cat? All y'all gots tah do is drop her in tha water! But them there mortals? They're stronger than that!'

'Oh, don't start this against. Ah thought we had this here plan all thought out!'

'Y'all didn't tell me nothin'!'

While the twins bickered like a married couple, Daisy grabbed Luigi's arm and battled against the gravity. As she unfortunately found out, the Poltergust was far more dense than the water. She felt as though she was trying to carry a safe out. Polterpup grabbed the Poltergust instead, attempting to drag his owner up by the straps. He made very little progress.

The fear in Luigi's eyes pressured Daisy to keep trying. She cursed that kitty - able to morph into a strong beast, and refusing to help at all. Yet, she felt as though she was getting close.

At least, until Billie dove back into the water.

'Y'all mind if'n Ah ruin yer hopes and dreams?'

She grabbed Luigi by his legs and dragged him down like a sea predator, yanking him out of Daisy's arms. Before the princess could even blink, the plumber disappeared into the darkness below. The last thing she saw was his hand reaching out to her.

Polterpup barked out for his owner, his words turning back into random animal sounds to Luigi. He too vanished into the watery abyss. Meanwhile, Clem held Polterkitty above the water by her neck. She was reduced to nothing more than a shivering mess.

'MROOO-YEEOOW!'

'Y'all know what?' Clem said. 'It ain't no fun just droppin' y'all intah tha water. How 'bouts Ah throw ya instead?'

Polterkitty's desperate shrieks fell on deaf ears, as Clem tossed her into the drink like shark food.

Daisy saw just one good thing in the hell she found herself in - the Poltergust, which had slipped off Luigi's back when he was dragged down. She hoisted it into her arms, and kicked her legs harder than she ever had.

Just one platform in her vision seemed reachable from where she was - the one in the back corner, and the same one a doggy-paddling Polterkitty swam for. Too high on adrenaline to stop and think about her situation, she tucked the Poltergust under one of her arms and reached for the platform with the other.

The moment she got her head above water, she took in a deep breath.

'Should Ah worry 'bouts tha princess? Hmm... nah. Can't be bothered. 'Sides, our boss is lookin' fer tha green one. She don't care 'bouts no princess!'

And he flew through the vault door, leaving Daisy and Polterkitty alone together in the flooded room. Daisy slammed the Poltergust into the platform first, and dragged the rest of her stressed body onto the metallic land. She stood on her hands and knees, trying to relax her heartbeat.

She gasped. 'Luigi!'

Without getting off her hands and knees, she turned around and stared into the quiet, empty water with terrified eyes.

'Luigi? Luigi, can you hear me?!'

No response. Daisy knew Clem and Billie wouldn't kill Luigi - they couldn't, lest they earn the wrath of their boss. She could sense him, somewhere. But he was nowhere to be seen. Slowly but surely, the realisation that she was now alone dawned on her and hit her like a truck.

'No... no no no. I can't be alone. I... I can't...'

Tears swelled in her eyes. Her eyes fell upon a little grey object floating on the surface. She yanked it out of the water - it was the universal translator. Everything she had been bottling up erupted all at once.

'I can't be! I... I can't survive on my own! I don't have the experience. I... I won't make it. I'll never see my sweetie again... LUIGI!'

Forget trying to hide those silly feelings anymore. She sunk to the ground and let the tears flow uninterrupted. Her cries were overpowered by the water falling from the pipes.

Polterkitty, against her better judgement, spoke up. 'Miaow?'

Daisy, in a poor attempt to channel her emotions, grabbed the poor kitty by the neck and reeled her in. Polterkitty stared into the princess's furious glare.

'This is all YOUR fault, Polterkitty! Your panther form was absolutely strong enough to fish Luigi out of the water, but you didn't do anything! You just sat there on the sidelines while we were drowning. And now, Luigi's gone forever because you didn't do a thing to help him!'

The kitty, shaking a leaf, mewed out her defence. Daisy, grunting, grabbed the universal translator off the floor and clipped it over her ear.

'Again. What's your excuse?'

'**Water... it scares me.**'

Daisy gave her a look. 'Uh huh. The water scares you. Luigi's afraid of everything but that doesn't stop him from doing what he has to! You're just a-'

She looked into Polterkitty's terrified eyes and ceased her tirade in an instant.

'Oh my Grambi... I can't bring it out on you. It's not your fault if you're scared of water.'

The princess got off her hands and sat on the metal floor. She took a deep breath, and buried her face in her arms.

'Here I am calling you a coward, when I'm no better.'

Polterkitty tilted her head. '**Huh? What do you mean? You're not scared of anything!**'

'Oh really?!'

Polterkitty jumped back, shaking a little. Daisy grabbed onto the railing, hard enough to leave obvious impressions.

'Not scared of anything, huh? You really think I'm some brave, fearless warrior or something?'

'Uh... maybe?'

'Well I'm not!'

Daisy slammed her fists into the solid metal flooring, leaving a noticeable impact. Polterkitty backed off so much, she nearly fell back into the water.

'You wanna know the truth, Polterkitty? Do you promise you will never tell anyone else, especially not Luigi?'

Petrified for her afterlife, Polterkitty nodded.

'Good. The truth is... I'm terrified! Absolutely horrified by _everything_!'

The spectral cat couldn't believe the sight. The brave and bold princess had been reduced to making Green Man look fearless.

'**But... but you don't seem scared.**'

'Good! That's how I prefer to keep it. I don't think anyone knows that I've been scared out of my mind ever since King Boo showed up! That damn pianist was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen! I don't know how Luigi does it...' She sighed. 'Luigi can never know.'

'**Why not?**'

'He thinks I'm some brave hero. And that's how it has to stay.' She sighed again. 'Not that it matters right now. He'll never found at this-'

The ringtone of the VB interrupted her. Groaning for three seconds straight, she fished the waterproof device and put it to her eyes. Despite engaging in a conversation, she grabbed Polterkitty by the neck.

'What?' She demanded, more bitter than intended.

E. Gadd didn't care about her (understandably) rude greeting, and judging by his wonky glasses and messed up coat was a little stirred himself.

'_Criminy!_' He cried. '_I finally get the hang of hacking all those security cameras, and the first thing I see was that. There's so much to unpack_!'

'I take it you saw everything?'

'_Everything? Why, just Luigi getting kidnapped by a couple of hillbillies while the place floods! And by the looks of it, you're stuck alone with that panthergeist_.'

'Oh gee, I couldn't tell. Please tell me the Poltergust is waterproof.'

E. Gadd smiled. '_That trusty device has been tested in depths of up to... really deep, I forget. But really deep!_'

Daisy sighed, which turned into a whimper. It seemed like her chance of success was dropping every second.

'_But that sonny has nothing to worry about. He's got you to save him!_'

Daisy shrugged. 'Yeah, I guess...'

'_What's wrong, princess? You seem a little down_.'

'Oh, um...' She put on a cocky little smirk. 'Oh yeah! Those rednecks are no match for me. When I get to 'em, they'll wish they had moved on years ago!'

The professor seemed to buy it, as he smiled. '_That's the spirit, princess! If you'll pardon the pun. You could try swimming across, but that Poltergust will make you sink like a rock_.'

Daisy was about to say that she could just use the ladder, but she peeped out from under the VB to see that either Clem or Billie had folded it back up. With a grunt, she returned to the conversation.

'So what you're saying, is that I'll need to drain the water?'

'_Exactly! And stop being so bitter towards that cat. She's a living - sorta - piece of insider info! I'll be relaxing in my lab while you embark on a dangerous mission_.'

'Thanks. Really.'

As E. Gadd disengaged the conversation, Parr T appeared on the camera for a second.

'_You forgot to mention Gu-!_'

Daisy put the VB away, and with a sigh got to her feet. She slipped the Poltergust on, wincing from the tingling feeling coursing through her nerves. With no one but the kitty around to witness it, she did the one thing she often did when hiding in her room while stressed.

'Here we go. Let's get to know, all of the ocean animals. Everybody wave, as the ways of all the ocean animals...'

Not even Luigi knew that she knew all the words to that song, and many many more.

'Meow?'

'Yeah, no kidding. I hate that I'm saying this, but I need you right now, Kitty. You are, unfortunately, the only one who can help me out here. Tell me how to get to Luigi. Please.'

Polterkitty thought about it. Mean Lady hadn't really given her any reason to help her. Yet, she desired full trust.

'**Alright, I'll help.**' She said after much consideration. '**As long as you promise you won't hurt me.**'

'Seeing as you're my only hope right now, it's not like I can afford to hurt you.' Her eyes narrowed. 'But don't you go taking advantage of it. We're working _together_.'

'**Together. Yes. Together.**' She spoke as if she hadn't heard that word in years. '**I know how we can lower the... w-water level. Follow me.**'

Polterkitty got her head through the heavy metal door, but struggled to get the rest of her body through. Her legs scraped against the floor until she finally managed to fit through. As Daisy opened the door to follow, she had to wonder why a ghost cat had such difficulty getting through walls when surely that combination would be perfect.

The kitty stood in the middle of a small, rectangular room. Calling it a poorly-kept maintenance room seemed most appropriate. It had a big window, covered in random sticky notes, that showed the machine Clem messed with off in the other room. The control panels had all sorts of grime on them.

Daisy kicked a broom aside. 'Can anything in this room help us?'

'**I don't think so. I think the machine over there is the only way.**'

'You sure you're not just saying that so I have to go the long way?'

'**Believe me. I want this w-water gone as soon as possible. And in order to do that, we need to get to that machine.**'

Polterkitty stuck her head through the next door, and once again the rest of her got stuck. Daisy could hear her grunting. It was like she was trying to squeeze herself into a bottle.

'Let me get that for you.'

Daisy opened the steel door, the sound of it scrapping against the floor echoing in the empty sewers. At least Luigi wasn't around to hear that.

Polterkitty looked up to her. '**Uh, thanks... question mark?**'

'No, no, that's right.' Daisy said with little enthusiasm. 'You say thanks when someone helps you out. Like opening a door for a ghost cat who inexplicably can't go through walls very well. Speaking of which, what's the deal with that?'

The cat held up the blue pendant around her neck. '**This. Master gave it to me. It makes it hard to slip through walls so I can't get away from her easily.**'

Daisy did a double-take. It wasn't even the words themselves that got to her, but instead the nonchalant manner in which they were delivered. Said as if it was just a little incident that happened the other day.

'And you're... okay with that?'

'**It isn't nearly as bad as what she does to the other ghosts. It's fine.**'

'Uh, riiight. So where are we now?'

A completely mess, that's where. She had ended up in a somewhat spacious sewer made entirely of bricks, cement, green pipes, and random metal gates that blocked the path. The occasional lacklustre lantern provided some dim light. Most importantly, water flooded at least the lower third of the entire room.

Daisy looked over the railings. The water was certainly deep enough to drown in, which was not exactly preferable. There was a ledge running along the wall wide enough for her to walk on, but due to it being a few feet off the ground she currently stood on Daisy would not be able to climb onto it with the safe on her back. Looking at her two options, it was either drown or fight against gravity itself. The railing dented in her grasp.

'Oh... what am I supposed to do?'

Polterkitty perched on the railing. '**See that pulley thing over there?**'

She pointed at a pulley attached to the metal gate, hanging a few inches above the ledge.

'**If we pull on that, it'll raise the gate so you can get through.**'

'Good to know. How do I get across a flooded hallway to begin with?'

'**Uh... with that, I guess.**'

The kitty used her nose to point directly down at the water. Among the various garbage floating in the drink - empty bottles, paper boats, what appeared to be round red _bombs_ \- an inflatable duck floaty rested right beneath them.

'You're kidding, right?' Daisy questioned. 'I have to ride on that? How would I even steer it?'

'**I don't know. You'll have to figure it out.**'

Daisy huffed as Polterkitty - after plenty of struggling - lifted her tiny body up onto the ledge. The princess watched her struggle, wondering if that pendent she insisted on wearing also prevented her from floating.

With nothing but a look of resignation on her face, Daisy sighed. 'Well, when you have no other options...'

She vaulted herself over the railings, and landed in the floaty with a mighty splash. The floaty sunk into the water for a brief moment, but popped right back onto the surface. Daisy would never admit to anyone that her heart missed a beat. She leaned back a bit, allowing herself to relax into it. She couldn't have felt like more of an idiot.

'Please tell me you can pull on that.'

Polterkitty scampered across the ledge - hopping over a stream of water that flowed from a hole - and yanked the pulley with her mouth. She pulled on it, but only accomplished making her teeth hurt.

'**Mmm... no.**'

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Can't you just morph into a panther to pull it?'

Polterkitty shook her head. '**I might break it. Or fall into the w-water...**'

'Grrreat...'

She looked around, searching for another way. It was then she noticed an alcove in the brick wall under the ledge, the floor of which stood level to the water. The only thing in the alcove was the entrance of a pipe, blocked off by a few steel bars. The ledge above had a network of pipes entering and exiting through the wall.

Daisy smiled. 'Wait a minute, I think I got this!'

The problem was, the alcove was a few feet away, and even though it had a ladder Daisy did not feel like risking anything. Wondering how to do something like this, she struck a possible idea. She lifted up the Poltergust nozzle, positioned it behind her, and - doing so blindly - pressed the 'blow' button. Air bellowed out from the machine, and thanks to Newton's third law pushed the floaty forwards with Daisy herself in tow.

She pressed the button as lightly as possible, moving through the water at a careful pace more fitting for her male partner. Her rump got a little wet, but frankly she couldn't care less about that. Something about the movement she could just barely control made her already shaky nerves plunge over the edge.

'Orchestra play for me, a beautiful symphony. Play something dramatic and bri-i-ight...' Singing the stupid little songs always helped her relax.

The floaty bumped against the edge of the alcove gently. Daisy, taking it slow and carefully, got her hands on the floor first and crawled onto the platform while moving her improv ride as little as she could.

'**That's... impressive**!' Polterkitty said. '**I hope you like doing that, cos this sewer is kinda big.**'

Daisy didn't even feel like responding with a sarcastic remark. She looked down at the barred-off pipe, second-thinking her idea. _Well, trying won't kill me._

'How was Gooigi summoned again?' She paused to think. 'Right! You have to imagine yourself being the goo, or something like that.'

She hadn't the faintest idea what any of that meant, but still she closed her eyes and imagined herself in that container.

'I am the goo. I am stuck in a glass container.'

Polterkitty watched the whole display with a very 'what the hell' look. Daisy winced. Suddenly, she felt like glass walls pressed against her and tried to crush her. She smiled; now she knew she had it.

'Where's the exit? Wait, I got it!'

Her body limped and went unconscious as a gooey Luigi fell out of the Poltergust and formed on the floor. She looked around - everything was swirly and absolutely green.

'MROW?!'

She flinched just a little when she saw her real body limping over, hanging like a zombie on strings. She reached out to tap her body, only to stop when she saw the all-green Luigi arm that moved instead of her own. Her mind was flooded with all sorts of thoughts, so she was shocked at her own reaction.

'_Weird_.'

The voice that came out sounded nothing like her own, and more like Luigi's but heavily distorted. In other words, just the same as Gooigi's regular voice.

Polterkitty gulped. '**I-I'll say. And the point of this was...?**'

'_Watch_.'

Gooigi knelt down and pressed his - er, her - head against the bars that blocked off the pipe. After a little bit of force, not just her head but her whole body pushed through. Her limbs merged together with her body as she travelled through the darkness like a slippery snake going down a slide.

Her vision gone in the blackness, she felt herself going up, down, left and right... all over. If the body she currently possessed could, she would've screamed like crazy. _Bad idea. Bad idea! BAD IDEA!_

Just as she thought she'd never see the day again, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Her body passed through the bars like they weren't even there, and she plopped rather ungracefully on the upper floor, landing on her face.

_Holy crap, I actually made it! _Gooigi snapped back from being on the floor to standing up in mere moments. She could see the pulley not too far away. Just a few steps down the ledge-

'**WAIT!**' Polterkitty yelled. '**W-Water!**'

Gooigi stopped before taking the next step. Indeed, water flowed from a hole right in front of her.

'_Great_.' Had she been in her proper body, she would have added: '_I need Gooigi in the place filled with water. Wonderful irony, that_.'

Before she could have yet another mental break down, she spotted a pipe entrance right by Polterkitty, and another next to the one she just came out of. Figuring that the worst that could happen was drowning - which was bound to happen anyway - she squeezed herself through the other pipe.

The experience was no better the second time. When she plopped out and got back on her feet, she noticed the pulley right in arm's reach.

'_Nice_.'

She grabbed it, but found that her gooey hand passed right through it. She tried again, getting more of a grip, but still her hand slipped right off.

'_Really?_'

'**Maybe try using the Poltergust?**'

'_Oh, thanks Kitty. Never would've thought to use my weapon until you mentioned it_.'

'**Um, should I-?**'

'_No_.'

Gooigi got out her gelatin vacuum cleaner, having many questions as to how it could work so well despite being made of goo. It got a perfect grip on the pulley, and when Gooigi stepped back the gate lifted up high enough to give Daisy plenty of room to go under.

'_Sweet_.'

Now how to swap back? She pictured herself lying back in that floaty, and suddenly she found herself right there with the bizarre green filter gone.

'Oh my grambi... how is Luigi so used to that?'

'**You seem good at it.**'

'Thanks for that, I guess.'

Once again, Daisy positioned the Poltergust behind her and gently moved herself forward. Once on the other side of the gate, she found that the sewer took a rather abrupt turn to the left. Not only were there even more pipes, but another gate. Better yet, Daisy found the floaty moving towards the gate on its own. The water had a slight tide to it. She grabbed onto it like she was to fall off a cliff.

'**Be careful!**' Polterkitty said. '**That gate has spikes on it.**'

'The gate has **what**?!'

Just as Polterkitty said, the next gate had big, long, and very sharp spikes jutting out of it and covering most of the surface. Assuming she'd survive getting impaled, no way her ride would endure that.

'Down here on the farm, we make things gro-o-ow. And you know the seeds we've sown will grow and grow and grow and-'

'**What are you singing?**'

Daisy cringed. 'You don't need to know!'

The princess had some things she'd never admit to: being frightened of just about everything, and unironically loving _Bubble Gusties_. And especially not singing _Bubble Gusties_ songs whenever frightened.

With a sigh, she returned to Gooigi as her host. The second time around felt much more natural, but she still wasn't used to everything being green yet. Nor did she appreciate the wobbly knees.

'_That gate has a pulley too, right?_'

'**Yep.**'

'_What the heck kinda sewer is this?_'

The ledge came to a stop right at the corner, but fortunately there was another pipe right next to them. Gooigi pushed herself through, and ended up on the other side of the tunnel, where a metal platform on rickety stands waited to catch her.

'_Oh joy_.'

The pipe dropped her off next to another pipe, making her wonder why it wasn't just one whole system to begin with.

Polterkitty approached the edge, shuddering upon looking into that horrible liquid. She wanted to scream just thinking about getting that dreaded water on her fur. With a gulp, she leapt across the watery chasm and towards the platform Gooigi stood on. She mostly made it, but her hindlegs slipped. She dug her claws into the ground and cried for help.

Gooigi, with a groan, grabbed her by the collar and yanked her up. '_You're a ghost. You can't drown._'

Polterkitty glared at her; she couldn't drown a _second_ time, the mortal clearly meant. With how nice Mean Lady was towards Green Man's fears, she didn't understand why Mean Lady wasn't so nice with hers.

The kitty glanced back at the floaty. Huh. It made a lot more progress than Polterkitty thought it did. It was getting incredibly close to the-

'MRRROOOOW!'

'_What?_'

Gooigi peered over the edge, seeing the floaty - and by extension her real body - inching uncomfortably close to the spikes.

'AHHH!'

Without any warning, Daisy found herself back on the floaty. She glanced back, only to see a spike getting uncomfortably close to her face.

'EEP!'

She, without a second thought, held the Poltergust nozzle in front of her and pushed the 'suck' button instead. Luckily, it accomplished the same task of moving her away from getting impaled. The floaty rushed across the water, thanks to her holding the button down way too hard.

There was a net hanging between two platforms, full of random objects such as dead fish and dollar bills. She reached out and grapped it, hanging in for dear life.

'A p-princess is kind, a-and a princess is loyal. G-Gotta have manners if you wanna be royal-tee-ee-ee.'

Holy Grambi, did she feel stupid singing such childish songs out loud, but she didn't care. She just needed to relax her nerves at once. She choked back tears that demanded to be released.

'**Are you okay?**' Polterkitty asked.

'Okay?! I'm just SWELL! Haven't felt any better!'

The spectral kitty winced, which made Daisy cringe.

'L-Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm just so... GAH! I can't take much more of this!'

Daisy slapped her forehead with her free hand. She couldn't believe herself. How could she move on after those gashes, yet being on her own with nothing but a cat she barely trust completely shut her down?

'**Maybe we should just leave Green Man behind...**' Polterkitty suggested.

'Excuse me?! Absolutely not! Luigi would never give up on trying to rescue his friends, and neither will I! How could you suggest something like that?'

'**You don't seem confident you'll be successful. It isn't that I don't care about Green Man. I just don't see why we should try saving him when even you doubt our chances.**'

Daisy narrowed her eyes. 'I admit, I see your point. But there's a chance we can. I'll save him, or die trying.'

Polterkitty didn't understand the devotion, and it shocked her. Even at her nicest, Master never got to 'I would die trying to save you' levels. Granted, she had always been a ghost, but that was beside the point.

'I'll probably let go of this net when I swap back to Gooigi,' Daisy said. 'But dang it, I'm getting that blasted gate open.'

Now the switch to Gooigi seemed as natural as walking. Just as Daisy predicted, the princess let go of the net the moment her body went unconscious and limp. Gooigi wasted no time ducking into the next pipe, and reemerging on the other side. Polterkitty, on the other hand, ran across the exterior of the pipe that was helpfully just about the water's surface.

When Gooigi got up, she couldn't have felt more relief. The next pulley was right in front of her. She got it into the Poltergust and pulled back, lifting up the spiky gate. Right in time too, as the unconscious Daisy floated underneath it as it rose.

'_Great_.' Gooigi said. '_How many more gates?_'

'**Just one more.**'

'_Wow. Good. I'm happy. Does it have spikes?_'

'_Uh, I think yes_.'

Gooigi was incredibly tempted to throw herself into the water at that moment.

'_I gotta hurry_.' Is what her epic one-liner turned into once said by Gooigi.

She squeezed herself through the wire fence blocking her way, and found that the sewer took another abrupt turn to the left. With a shrug, she and Polterkitty ran across the ledge that continued to wrap around the wall uninterrupted. With no obstacles in the way, they could outrun the floaty.

'_This is nice. For once_.' Gooigi remarked. '_But I'm waiting for the-_'

'**Look out!**' Polterkitty cried.

Gooigi stopped, and half-a-second later water gushed down from a pipe above, just barely missing the tip of her nose. The water fell into a grate in the floor.

'_And there it is_.'

The water flowed for a few seconds before stopping. That revealed another pillar of water that also stopped a moment later. Behind that was another pillar. And then another. And another. Gooigi bothered to count - there was about ten of them. After a few more seconds passed, the water flowed again.

'_Geez. First time we use Gooigi in a while, and there's this_.'

She took a quick look at her real body; they had plenty of time. Yet, she didn't feel like that was enough.

'_Gotta wait. Yay_.'

The moment the first pipe stopped streaming water, she dashed across. Polterkitty kept up with her, unable to bare the thought of touching a drop of water. Gooigi knew when the pipes were about to flow when a small cloud of dust fell from them.

'_At least this body doesn't have lungs_.'

Gooigi arrived at the next pulley without getting a drop of water on her body. She lifted the gate up before her real body even got close to it. The floaty bumped against a buoy floating in the water.

'_That was easy._'

Polterkitty, her eyes wide open, tapped her shoe. '**Uh, l-look.**'

Gooigi looked into the water, and flinched. Were those sharks? No, those fins closing in on Daisy had duct tape holding them together, and through Gooigi's eyes she could see the otherwise invisible Goobs swimming through the water with them on their backs. The light reflected off the sharp edges of the fins.

'_Oh no_.'

The Goobs may have been moving slowly, but their sharp fins made Gooigi feel nervous. Especially as they approached the floaty.

'_No!_' Gooigi yelled with the most emotion anyone could through that body.

In an instant she returned to her normal body. The shark fins approached her, slowly but surely.

'Red-orange-yellow-green-purple-blue-white. I l-like them all, b-but one's just right. G-Gotta go through all I know...'

Singing to keep her nerves in control, she lightly touched the 'suck' button with the Poltergust out of front of her. It felt like she had more control that way. She inched her way forward, moving around the oncoming Goobs with her nerves completely shot.

'T-This is the Arctic life... la la la la la laaa... this is the Arctic life...'

In the corner of her eyes, she saw the Goobs turn slowly and continue to pursue her.

'**You're nearly there!**' Polterkitty said. '**Just keep going.**'

'You're. Not. Helping!'

She passed under the gate, feeling the ghosts ganging up on her. She could almost her the 'shiiing' sound of their sharp fins.

'Gonna dig it with my backhoe, scoop it with my bucket loader... dump it with my dump truck, maybe even move a boulder...'

'Daisy? Is that you? HEEELP!'

Daisy let go of the 'suck' button. She recognised that voice - it was Gus T.

'Wait, Gus? What are-?'

She saw the blue-spotted Toad on the platform, next to the machine that had caused all their problems. He looked absolutely terrified, and carried a round thing that she couldn't quite tell the details of yet.

'Gus? What are you doing here?'

'Forget that!' Gus yelled. 'BEHIND YOU!'

'Huh? ... EEP!'

She didn't even need to look behind her. She dropped the nozzle in her panic.

***POP***

* * *

Luigi opened his eyes slowly, feeling something wet on his cheek. As he found out, it wasn't a Polterpup kiss, though he did see his royal pup by his side.

'Boy? Where...?'

His face lay in a puddle of water. He sat up against the wall, and tried to focus his hazy vision on his surroundings. He sat on a metal floor, surrounded by walls thanks to being stuck in a small alcove.

'Where... where am I?'

Polterpup hopped into his lap and whimpered.

'Where's Daisy?'

His head hurt so, so much. He felt totally lost. Once his vision came back to him, he realised that purple he saw was a paranormal gate. It blocked off any escape he could see.

'Oh no...'

He couldn't see much past it, and certainly not his beloved princess or new kitty friend.

'Ah y'all sure we can't go tah our boss an' hand over tha green guy, bro?'

'Eh, it can wait. Ah need ma rest, woman!'

'That makes sense! But hooooo nelly, y'all need tah be moar motivated. Them dishes won't be cleaned if'n y'all don't.'

'Ah t'ought we talked about this, sis! That was yesterday. Today, it's yer job tah clean tha dishes, while Ah mop tha floors!'

'Y'all haven't done that, either!'

Luigi tried to ignore their bickering, and focus more on the nice banjo music he could hear from the pipes. He stroked Polterpup's head, letting tears trickle down his cheeks.

'I failed you, bro...' He sighed. 'Margherita, I hope you're alright.'

**Author Notes - Indeed, almost this entire area will be a Daisy only mission. With Polterkitty to accompany her as well. ****Why did I do this? Simple - since the first few chapters were just Luigi and Polterpup, I thought it only seemed fair to give Daisy her own chapters. Originally both spectral pets would join her, but I figured only Polterkitty was far more interesting.**

**As for why Clem now has a twin sister named Billie... A, I wanted at least one OC that wasn't just giving a Goob their own identity (i.e. Charles, Sam). B, to get that full 'redneck' effect, I feel there needs to be a family element. Think of Applejack or Cleetus and their massive families.**

**And the songs that Daisy was singing, errr, 'Bubble Gusties' is a pun on_ Bubble Guppies_, a rather popular preschool show that I love. Unironically. Don't ask why. You may think I had to Google those lyrics. I didn't. I know them by heart.**

**If you want to know how the Hayseed twins died before it's officially revealed, look up the 1904 privy disaster. I warn you, it is absolutely NOT a nice read.**


	21. The Sewers of the Last Resort

**Author Notes - By the way, did I mention that I'll be merging the initial visit with the revisit? It saves a chapter.**

**Lidiaprotex51 has favourited, but there's still time for YOU to initiate! (Okay, now these are starting to sound like propaganda).**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - THE SEWERS OF THE LAST RESORT**

E. Gadd was right - the Poltergust made her sink like a rock. With her ride popped, she fell into the water and fell through it like it wasn't there at all. And, as she found out the hard way, it was much deeper in this room than it was in the tunnel.

Though lucky enough to have caught a breath before sinking, she knew it'd only last her a few minutes. She kicked her legs and flailed her hands, desperate to return to the surface that only moved away from her more every second.

One of the Goobs wearing a shark fin floated in front of her, and waved her goodbye with the most punchable look on his face. Daisy appropriately punched him in the face, and he fled the scene in seconds.

The princess, now on the floor, walked towards a helpful ladder and began to climb. Or, at least, she tried to. The density of the water plus the weight of the Poltergust equalled an impossible mountain to climb. As she tried to lift herself up, her hands and feet slipped off the bars.

'DAISY!'

Gus T's shouting may have been distorted by the water, but Daisy could still hear it with ease. Her lungs started to burn - she knew time was running out. The temptation to abandon the Poltergust was strong, but she didn't dare leave her best weapon in the arms of the ghosts.

Polterkitty hopped down from the ledge, and onto the big metal platform that Daisy tried her hardest to climb on top of. Her knees shaking harder than jelly, she approached the ledge. With a trembling gulp, she stared into that watery abyss. She could see Mean Lady fighting against gravity itself as her cheeks turned a bright red. The spectral cat knew better than anyone how horrifying drowning was, and her eyes went wide at witnessing the horror from a different point of view.

She reached her paw in, but jumped back with a yelp the moment it made contact with that liquid. What was she thinking? She couldn't do this! Not through that... water.

'What are you doing, kitty?!' Gus demanded from on top of his platform. 'Do something! ANYTHING! Like that morphing thing I know you can do.'

Polterkitty had no idea who Blue Fun Guy was, but she didn't really care. She stared back deep into the water, seeing that Daisy had made no more progress over the past few seconds. Any anger in the princess's eyes was gone, substituted with an emotion that Polterkitty knew all too well.

Fear.

The fur on her back stood up. That little flame inside her flared to its absolute fullest. She hadn't a clue what this ember was, but it egged her to save the princess drowning below. Unleashing a cry of anger and fear, she transformed into her massive panther form.

Daisy's grip on the ladder loosened, and gave away completely. _This was it_, she decided. Why fight a losing battle? Unleashing that burning breath she held, she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable to greet her...

'RAAAOORR!'

'AH!'

Whatever just happened, Daisy felt a searing pain in her chest. It made her wheeze through gritted teeth. She spluttered out at least a swimming pool worth of water. Wherever she was now was much harder than the clouds she expected.

_So I'm in the Underwhere instead, huh? Seems fitting._

'RAAAAOOOH!'

She opened her eyes slowly, and saw Polterkitty as a hulked up panther. The Panthergeist backed away, shaking her head violently. She wiped her face with her forelegs, unable to stop whining. Daisy found out why her chest hurt so much. It wasn't because they were desperate for oxygen, but because she laid on her chest against a hard metal floor.

'K-Kitty?'

Only once her face was completely dry did Polterkitty calm down. When she did, she rushed over to the princess.

'**Are you okay?**' The kitty asked with genuine concern in her voice. '**Tell me you're okay!**'

Daisy lifted herself to her hands and knees, thankfully used to chest pains at this point. The moment she raised her head, Polterkitty rubbed her cheeks against her forehead.

'Yes, yes!' Daisy cried. 'I'm okay, I'm okay. You can calm down now.'

Polterkitty returned to her housecat form, and rubbed her cheeks against Daisy's arms. The princess couldn't help but to give her a soft pat on the head.

'You... you saved me?'

'**I-I guess...**'

Daisy couldn't articulate the words, mostly because she was too busy trying to get over her near death experience. The kitty sat on the floor and gave her the sad eyes.

'W-Why?' Daisy asked.

Polterkitty stared at the floor. The answer escaped her. She could barely even remember doing it to begin with.

'**I-I don't know. It just felt, um, right.**'

Daisy coughed out one last bit of water, and smiled. 'Well good. Keep doing that. Thanks, by the way, for saving me.'

That last sentence hit Polterkitty like a truck. Now she was beginning to get it! Doing good things just for praise equalled getting yelled at. But doing good things without a thought equalled _tons_ of praise!

'Well that's just great.' Gus said. 'Do you mind saving ME now?!'

'Oh, sorry!'

Daisy stepped down onto the slightly-lower part of the platform, which was flooded by about an inch or two of water, and stood right underneath the blue-capped Toad. He was a fair distance above her, and carried around a strange object in his arms.

The object was the size of his body, and somewhat resembled a gold metallic snail shell.

'Um, what is that?' Daisy asked.

'Heck if I know! Apparently it's an upgrade for the Poltergust, but at this point I DON'T CARE!'

The words 'upgrade for the Poltergust' really piqued Daisy's attention. She couldn't spend too long thinking about it, before saving Luigi returned to the forefront.

The princess held her arms up. 'We'll worry about that later. Com'on!'

Gus gave her a look. 'You're kidding. You're not seriously suggesting I jump into your arms, right?'

'You have the consistency of a marshmallow. Even if you miss you'll be okay.'

Gus didn't seem any more convinced, but regardless he closed his eyes and leapt off the ledge blindly. Daisy caught his squishy body with ease, but cringed when his soft head pressed up against her chest.

'Woah, you okay there?' Gus asked.

'Mmm... yeah. I'm fine.'

Daisy settled the complaining mushroom onto the dry part of the floor, and his feet touched the ground with a rather adorable 'squeak!'.

'Okay Gust,' She said. 'Why are you here? And what the heck is that thing you're carrying?'

'I cannot answer that second question. But I can answer the first! The crazy professor told me to go fetch this thing from the sewers. How or why or what, I'll never know. I found the dang thing, and then a purple ghost thought it'd be funny to put me up there! Next thing I know, that mechanic ghost floods the place. Of course this happens to _me_.'

Daisy groaned; she certainly didn't need a grumpy fungus following her around now.

'And you didn't flip the switch while you were up there, because...?' She asked.

'Hey, don't insinuate that I didn't try! You'd need the might of ten Toads to move that thing. I can barely even hold _this_ thing now!'

Daisy looked up at the big heavy switch, up above on the platform. A series of pipes lead up to the machine, but had so many turns and conjunctions that she desired to avoid them if possible. She turned around and looked at Polterkitty.

'Hey Kitty, do you think your panther form would be strong enough to push that lever? Or would you just break it?'

'**Um, I can try.**'

'Trying is better than nothing.'

'Wait, you can understand her?'

Polterkitty did what most cats excelled at - climbing. She hopped onto one of pipes, and hopped from pipe to pipe as she climbed up. She took her time, shivering from the mere thought of falling into the drink below. It only got worse when one of her paws slipped.

'You're nearly there, Kitty.' Daisy said. 'Just keep going!'

The cat noted her change in attitude. No more 'hurry up' or 'I will hurt you'. It powered that ember inside her, and she hopped onto the tallest platform with a satisfied 'mew'. She looked over the ledge, and tried her hardest to look at the princess standing in the water and not the water itself.

To her surprise, Mean Lady smiled. Not an evil glare, like she was used to from Master, but a genuine 'I am so proud of you' smile. When was the last time she saw one of those?

'Ya did it! Nice one, Kitty! Now, all you have to do is lower that switch, and all the scary water will be gone.'

Polterkitty nodded, and transformed into a massive panther. She grabbed the red lever with her shark-like teeth, and pulled down on it slowly and carefully. The switch barely moved, if at all.

'Can ya hurry it up a little?' Gus demanded.

'Give her time.' Daisy said. 'If she accidentally breaks it, we're mucked.'

'Mucked?'

'Hey, I don't wanna push the rating too hard!'

As Polterkitty made slight progress on flipping the switch, the hairs on the back of Daisy's neck stood up. She shivered - a horrible feeling suddenly loomed over her.

'What?' Gus questioned, looking around. 'What's wrong?!'

Something moved just above the water that Daisy stood in; she could _just_ see a disturbance in the water's surface. Now what was it that let her see invisible objects?

Whatever that something was, it appeared to scoop water into its hands. Daisy dreaded it dropping the water onto Polterkitty, but that dread only got much, much worse when she saw where it was going with it: towards Gooigi, who was still holding up the gate.

Daisy reached her arm out. 'NO!'

The something responded with nothing but mocking laughter, as it tossed the water directly into Gooigi's face. Though he tried to hold onto the pulley for as long as he could, his gooey body dissolved into a green puddle on the floor. The melted goo returned to the Poltergust, but Daisy had no time to care.

***CLANK!***

The gate slammed shut on the tunnel, locking them out of seemingly their only exit.

'HEY!' The princess shouted.

'Oh no...' Gus muttered. 'Oh no oh no oh no...'

Daisy could feel her hair moving slightly in a breeze that shouldn't have existed at all. She pressed a couple buttons at random - accidentally firing a plunger at Gus ('Hey!') in the process - until she managed to activate the Dark-Light device.

'Oh thank Grambi...' She muttered.

She shone the rainbow light across the water, following the disturbance. A ghostly figure, a Slinker, materialised, and the princess watched the being float over to Gus.

'Ah!'

She pressed what she thought was the Strobulb, but only reactivated the Dark-Light.

'Uh... Daisy? DAISY?!'

The Slinker, now totally invisible, grabbed Gus and hoisted him into her arms. A bizarre portal, just big enough for the Toad, leading to a swirly purple hell opened beneath her, and she slowly lowered Gus towards it.

The terrified Toad squirmed and screamed as his wide eyes witnessed the portal getting closer and closer. Despite his horror, he held onto the mysterious object.

'Say yer prayers, Fun Guy.' The Slinker muttered, laughing at him. 'Cos where y'all are goin', y'all'll have no one ta pray ta.'

Daisy, in panic, pressed all of the buttons at once. It unleashed a burst, sending not just air but water absolutely everywhere. Gus flew out of the Slinker's arms, and landed with a soft splash. The ghost went flying backwards, judging by the watery disturbance, and the portal vanished alongside her focus.

'GAH!' The Slinker cried. 'Ah'll get ya fer this!'

Gus yelped, and ran behind Daisy's legs with his whole body shaking. 'D-D-Daisy, do something!'

Daisy swallowed back her fear. 'I-I don't plan on doing anything else.'

She fiddled with the buttons some more, until she managed to switch back to Strobulb mode and unleash a quick flash. By luck - or, perhaps, a ghost getting cocky - the Slinker fell into the light and was stunned.

'Arg, come on!'

Daisy's heart raced fast, like she was seconds away from beating a difficult boss in a video game but had only a few hit points left. Knowing she had only a few moments before the Slinker drifted away, Daisy ran over to the stunned ghost with the Poltergust on full-on suck mode.

She got one of the tails caught, and the Slinker wasted no time fighting back. Like Ug all the way back in the museum, she dragged poor Daisy around in that two-inch-deep water as she struggled to get her grounding. Though the Slinker didn't drag nearly as much as Ug did, the water made it just as hard as before.

'Ged 'er Daisy!' Gus cheered from the sidelines. 'Get her good!'

***THUD* *SPLASH***

'Oh.'

And, just like Ug, the Slinker knocked Daisy's grip off and sent her faceplanting into the ground. This time, she got a mouthful of awful-tasting water instead of a faceful of hard tiling.

Daisy slammed her fist into the water. 'Why can't I just use the damn Poltergust right?!'

The Slinker laughed, and vanished into thin air. Daisy got to her feet and shone the Dark-Light around everywhere, but nothing appeared.

She relaxed her arms with a great big sigh. 'At least that pest is gone now. Polterkitty, are you done with that yet?'

Right on time, Polterkitty applied enough pressure to the switch to get it to move back up. In spite of her aching teeth, she felt quite proud of herself.

'**I did it!**'

Daisy gave her a thumbs-up. 'Good job! And the water level should lower any second now.'

Right on cue, whatever was blocking the outlet moved out of the way. The water flowed through, and Daisy stood on the edge to watch the water level lower a inch or two every second.

'HOOO-WEEE!' She yelled, stealing a catchphrase from the grand ghosts of the floor. 'We actually did it!'

Soon, all the water except for a few small puddles had disappeared. Though perhaps still too damp for Gooigi, Polterkitty could now roam the floor with minimum risk of getting wet.

'You did it!' Gus declared. 'Now what?'

'Simple.' Daisy said. 'We go back the way we... oh.'

She totally forget that the gate had come back down, blocking any way of going back down that path, in spite of a ladder leading back up to the tunnel.

'Don't panic, Gus.' She said, more to herself than him.

'I wasn't pa-'

'Normally we would be boned, but we have an inside kitty on our side. Speaking of which... Kitty! Please tell me there's another way to get back there. I'll take anything.'

Polterkitty returned to her usual kitten form, hopped off that platform, and proceeded to hop off that one to get to the lower, concrete level. That level had a few bricks and bits of garbage lying around, in addition to the occasional puddle.

'**Those Hayseed twins gave me a tour around this place once.**' She explained. '**Master wasn't happy afterwards... But that doesn't matter right now. I remember that there's another way down here.**'

There was a ladder that lead to the bottom level, but Daisy chose to vault over the railing instead. The sudden weight that slammed into her ankles when she landed made her regret her decision.

'Ow... com'on Gust. If I caught ya the first time, I can do it again.'

'Please stop calling me Gust.'

As she promised, she caught him in her arms for a second time. The squeaky sounds of his shoes never got old, and she really needed it right now.

Polterkitty pointed to the same outlet that all the water flowed into. '**If we keep going this way, then we'll end up back at the elevator.**' The glare she received from the princess made her speak faster. '**And from the elevator, we can go back to where we were and save your boyfriend.**'

'Alright, that works.' Daisy said. 'We'll follow you. Just remember that I have the Poltergust now.'

'**Uh, u-understood.**'

Polterkitty scampered through the outlet, calling out to Daisy to follow her. Gus cocked an eyebrow in response.

'Isn't that the kitty who gave you those scars?' He asked.

'Why yes. Yes she is. Point being?'

'You seriously trust her? At all?'

'It's either that, or sit here starving to death as Luigi is being held captive by a couple of rednecks. To say it's our best option is incorrect; it's our _only_ option.'

Gus opened his mouth to complain - as he usually did - but came up with nothing and so dealt with it, albeit with a grumpy look on his face.

Daisy followed the kitty through the outlet, ducking a little to get through, with Gus coming after her with the Poltergust upgrade in his arms. The princess found that the outlet arrived into what could only be described as a sewer.

The floor and walls consisted of nothing but concrete infested with moss. The path dipped down a bit for a metre or two, where some water pooled up right next to a grate. It had to be one of the darker parts of the hotel so far. And it definitely smelled like a sewer too.

Gus was not amused. 'I think I prefer starving to death.' His voice echoed in the narrow tunnel.

'Hey, you're the lucky one.' Daisy remarked, stepping through the murky water. 'At least you don't have a nose. Seriously, this place reeks more than a truck-stop bathroom. If I can deal with it, you can-'

Her voice stopped. Dead. She stared a thousand miles into space.

'I can what? What are you staring at?'

'... That...'

Daisy pointed at a pile of garbage resting by the wall. A purple balloon loaded with helium was attached to the pile via a piece of string. She couldn't phantom why, but the sight of that party supply chilling out in a silent sewer made her feel never-ending dread.

'Uh, Daze... it's a balloon.'

'Y-Yeah. I-I know.' She muttered a song to herself, '_Circus, circus, I really want to go_...'

Trying to ignore that oddly nerve-wracking balloon, she continued to navigate the icky sewer. The squishes of her feet in the water echoed in the dead-silent tunnel.

'You seriously want me to cross that?' Gus said with a scoff. 'No way.'

Daisy sighed. 'Oh Ghostie! Want free stew?'

Gus yelped, and charged through the water. 'Waitwaitwait! It's cool. I-I'll cross!'

The unhappy duo followed Polterkitty through the dark and dank dungeon, until their progress came to a swift stop thanks to a brick wall that had been shoddily built in the way. Considering its lack of moss, it had to have been built recently. Which would _somewhat_ explain why there was a brick wall here for no discernible reason.

Daisy put her hand against it. 'Ooo-kay. Why is there a random brick wall here?'

Polterkitty shrugged.** 'Billie seems to think bricking up the sewers will filter the water better. Clem knows it's an awful idea, but he's never been bothered to do anything about it.**'

The princess tapped the wall with her fist. It didn't feel particularly sturdy. She had a feeling that if someone insulted her favourite band enough, she could break through. Her eyes widened as it dawned on her that this plan required admitting that she loved _Bubble Gusties_, which was **not** going to happen.

'You got a plan?' Gus asked. 'Preferably one that doesn't involve my face getting smashed against it.'

The lights on the gloves grew brighter with her increasing frustration. Despite that, she grinned, waiting for Gus T to do the thing that he did best.

'Seriously,' The Toad continued. 'With how much that's been going on, I'd believe you'd want to do that. It seems to be how my luck has been going! I was invited into a trap, given an unfinished room, got kidnapped by a caveman, had to deal with Parr's idiocy when I went to the lab, almost immediately was sent out on a mission, and NOW-!'

'Would you STOP COMPLAINING?!'

Half-consciously, half-just-venting-anger, Daisy slammed her fist into the brick wall.

***SMASH***

The mortar between the bricks shattered and crumbled completely. The bricks themselves went flying like victims of an explosion, demolishing the wall in moments like it was never there. While Gus stared at the scene looking more shocked than he did when Ug kidnapped him, Daisy nonchalantly cleaned her dusty glove on her shirt.

'Shall we proceed?'

'How...? But... Huh?!' Gus stammered.

'I know, right? Who knew your complaining would be useful for once?'

Once again, Gus was about ready to yell his little blue head off, but rightfully decided against it.

The path behind the brick wall was not much longer, as they quickly arrived at another roadblock. It was a latched door, near identical to the one Daisy had seen earlier. In fact, it had only one difference - the valve used for opening it was missing.

Polterkitty approached the spot where the valve should've been. '**Huh. That's strange.**'

'I take it there's supposed to be a valve there.' Daisy said. 'Great. Got any clue where it could be?'

'**Uh... I'm not sure. Billie doesn't realise she needs to _hide_ it, so it couldn't have been her. It was probably Clem, and he never bothers to go very far with it. It has to be nearby.**'

Mid-conversation, Daisy used the Strobulb on what she recognised to be a flashable button embedded in the wall. A panel located in the ceiling opened, spilling a pile of garbage onto the floor behind them. It mostly consisted of rotting fruit and broken banjo strings.

Gus gave Daisy a look, again. 'Good job. Cos this place wasn't gross enough already.'

The princess ignored his remark, and shone her light up the shaft that the opened panel revealed. She saw that it turned off to the side, but to where she couldn't see.

'Hey Kitty,' She said. 'What are the chances of the valve-thingy being up there?'

'**High. Clem sometimes hides weird things up there, because he knows that Billie will never think to look.**'

'Billie sounds like a real genius.'

'**Uh... but she's really-**'

'Sarcasm, Kitty. Sarcasm.'

Daisy knew she had to get up into that shaft, but it was too high off the floor for her to even touch the bottom of it. The tunnel was small; perhaps she could bounce something up there.

'Can I just ask, how did you get this far into this adventure?' Gus commented. 'I know Luigi would've done most of the puzzle solving, but come on. Surely you have some good ideas. Then again, I'm starting to doubt that.'

At the rate he was going at, Daisy would have enough power to demolish the entire hotel. Instead, she silently walked up to him with the Poltergust sucking.

'Seriously, I'm doubting my chances of survival. You got the might, but if you can't solve puzzles, then we are absolutely-'

His rant stopped when Daisy got his big head stuck in the Poltergust nozzle.

'WAITWAITWAIT, I'm sorry! I take it back!'

Silently and stoically, Daisy aimed Gus up into the shaft, angling it in such a way that she was certain he would bounce off the walls and into the turning tunnel.

'Daisy, Daisy, Daisy! I see where you're going with this. And I hate it. Can we think about this first? Maybe? Please...?'

'Daisy to mission control,' The princess said in a monotone voice. 'The launch is a go.'

'I'M NOT READY!'

She fired him away like he never pleaded for mercy.

'Oof! Ouch! OW!'

His squishy body bounced off the concrete walls multiple times, emitting a loud squeak with each bounce. Daisy did not feel guilty for laughing. In his ricocheting, he dropped the Poltergust upgrade. So, she picked it up and stored it in her own bottomless pocket.

'I'M GONNA - ow - KILL YOU!'

After a few bounces, he managed to get into the tunnel. He got his face out of the dirt to see a whole lot of random objects stored up there. Wrenches, a banjo, a bunch of rubber ducks dressed in various attires, and - oh! - that valve they were looking for.

'Found it!'

'Awesome. Bring it here.'

Daisy waited for the Toad to jump down and into her arms, not quite expecting him to jump down with the valve in hand instead of just dropping that first.

'Geronimo!'

'Oh!'

The metal valve added to his weight quite a bit, but still Daisy held her ground when he fell into her arms, even when Gus bumped directly into her gashes. She seethed through her teeth, trying hard to smile.

'Good job Gus.' She said, settling him on the floor. 'Ya... ow... did it.'

'You sure you're okay? Seriously, those are nasty scars.'

'I have little choice. It's either that, or crawl into a ball and die. And I gotta life to live.'

Daisy plonked that valve into place, squelching her worries that it wouldn't fit. She twisted it to the right, and the arrow moved from pointing to the 'locked' symbol to the 'unlocked' one.

'Well, that wasn't so - EEP!'

She jumped back as steam suddenly burst from its outlets. While the door popped open, her cheeks reddened. She could _feel_ Gus giving her a weird look.

'What was that?' He asked.

'Please don't ask.'

'What. Was. That?'

'Tell Luigi, and I will turn you into soup.'

'Shutting up.'

Turning the valve had barely opened the door at all, but Daisy got her hands through the tiny gap and pulled it open. Unsurprisingly, the giant steel door was quite heavy.

'Nnngh! OH...!' She paused to catch her breath. 'Tell me that this one and the one at the beginning are the only two doors of their kind in a fifty mile radius.'

'**From what I remember, yes.**'

'Oh thank Grambi...'

Daisy pulled the door open just wide enough for all three of them to fit through. She hoped it would pull off some sort of space-warping trick and bring them straight back to the beginning, but it was not meant to be.

The very first thing Daisy stepped on once through the vault was yet another metallic platform. You can never have enough of those. This room was more open than the last, consisting of brick walls and a concrete floor. Spiders, some golden as Shinypants, crawled along the ceiling.

On the floor below was just a bunch of tools and supplies, such as a few wrenches and some buckets of paint. Oh, and a _few hundred rubber ducks_ scattered around. Each duck had its own little costume, like a chef, policeman, princess, magician, pirate, plumber whose outfit look strikingly similar to Luigi's...

Daisy peered over the edge, eyebrow cocked. 'I... I have no words.'

'What the heck is that about?!' Gus yelled, motioning at the ducks.

Polterkitty smiled at the sight of the rubber bath toys. '**That's their rubber duck collection. This is where they keep it, safe from Master.**' She pointed to various ducks. '**That's Dylan. And there's Dianna. Over there is Declan. I think that's Debbie... I hear Duchess wants to marry Don, but he's into Daniel. Dotty has a kingdom to run, and Deena wants to take it over. And have you heard the rumours about David?**'

At this point, Daisy had her face deep in her palm. 'There's one named Daisy, isn't there?'

Polterkitty nodded. '**Uh huh! The one dressed like a flower girl. Clem doesn't let me play with them anymore after I accidentally killed Dorothy.**'

Daisy unleashed a quiet but very long groan, feeling her sanity dripping out her ears.

'That's neat and all.' Gus said. 'But what does that have to do with getting out of here?!'

The kitty flinched. '**Oh, r-right. That.**'

She hopped onto the railing and stood on it perfectly balanced. An L-shaped platform, not unlike the one from before, had one end pointing at another platform that led to the next door, but the other in the opposite direction to where they were standing.

'**We need to spin that platform over to here.**' She said. '**And to do that, we need to find a thingy with a fan.**'

She scampered over to the wall, near a chunk of it that seemed as poorly built as the last brick wall.

'**Hmm... it seems they've bricked it up.**' She said. '**The thingy with a fan is on the other side of this.**'

'Well, that's easy.' Gus remarked. 'We just gotta peeve off Daisy enough, and then we will-'

He did not expect Daisy putting his head back into the Poltergust, or her walking over to the wall like that, or her aiming his face directly at the brick wall.

'Woah woah woah, what the heck are ya doing?!' He cried. 'I thought you would-'

'You complain about help, you taste bricks. BOMBS AWAY!'

'WAAHHHH!'

***CRASH***

That was just about the most painful thing Gus had ever done. The moment his big mushy head hit the wall, the bricks fell apart and collapsed to the floor. Polterkitty found herself chuckling at his misery. Gus, in his newfound anger, got to his feet in moments and glared at the princess.

'What the heck was that for?! Why didn't you just do what you did before?'

'I felt like it. Be thankful I'm not dropping you into the rubber duckies.'

Gus rubbed his head - difficult, thanks to his short arms and giant head - as Daisy walked past him to the 'thingy with the fan' hidden behind the wall. It was like a big red box with a siren light on top, and a fan embedded in its front side.

'I take it if I spin the fan, that'll spin the platform?' She guessed.

'**Yep. Just use the vacuum on it for a bit, and I'll tell you when you've got it.**'

Daisy used the Poltergust to blow air onto the fan, getting it to fillet-inducing speed, and the orange light turned on. She heard thudding sounds behind her as the platform moved.

'**Not quite... almost there... got it!**'

Her trust in the kitty was not unfounded, as the platform was now perfectly angled between _their_ platform and the one they needed to get to.

'At least you bumped my head for a good reason.' Gus said. 'But that doesn't mean I'm forgiving you.'

'And I don't blame you. Let's go, Polter... kitty?'

The kitty in question was looking over the edge, staring at an empty space among all the yellow rubber.

'**Huh... where did Daphne go? She was the favourite...**'

'That's enough spying, Kitty. Come on!'

* * *

Luigi hadn't moved from his spot. What was the point? The only thing to do in his tiny space was flip the switch on that machine, which he couldn't even budge. Polterpup remained in his lap, refusing to move.

'Hey li'l plumber!' Billie mocked him from the other side of the paranormal gate. 'How ya doin'? Y'all havin' fun yet? Cuz I dunno 'bouts y'all, but Ah'm havin' tha time of ma life!'

A long time ago, Luigi had managed to zone her out. Ignoring her was draining his energy fast. At least Clem was too busy napping to annoy him too.

He groaned. 'Can you stop? I don't feel like it...'

'That's what makes it a hoot!'

He glanced over to the sleeping brother. 'Why isn't your bro doing anything?'

Billie groaned. 'Oh, don't even get me started. Ah tell him that he has chores tah do, and it never listens tah me! He just tells me that he's busy. Lookit 'im! Does he look busy tah ya? And when he claims it's cuz he has a headache, tha argument goes on fer hours!'

Luigi couldn't help feeling like the two were a married couple. Despite them obviously being twins. He cringed at the thought.

'He thinks that just cuz he's older than me by a few minutes, that he's better than me. But Ah keep tellin' him that it don't mean nothin'!'

The mortal blinked, snapping out of his apathy for a moment, before he returned to his funk.

'Yeah, I know what you mean.' He said. 'My big bro can be like that sometimes, even though I'm only younger by a few minutes.'

The frustration and mocking grins on Billie's face faded away, in favour of genuine curiosity.

'Wait a cotton-pickin' moment here.' She said. 'Ya saying y'all a younger twin too?'

He nodded. She looked back at her elder twin brother for a brief second, pondering her next decision. With some hesitation, she sat on the floor by the gate.

'Tell me moar 'bout yah brother.'

* * *

Another open room, one that had a toilet in the corner for some reason before it led to stairs, which went down to a much bigger area. The moment the stairs stopped, they gave way to a floor completely covered with stagnant water. The odour of it was heavy in the air.

Daisy wrinkled her nose. 'Geez... Luigi would've hated this.'

'And you think I'm any happier?' Gus questioned. 'I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd much rather hang out with Parr than go on this little adventure. Scratch that, I'd rather be with FIVE Parrs.'

'Don't say things you can't take back.'

She took just one more step forward, and five Spirit Balls popped out of the ground one at a time, floating around in the air. Unlike the blue wisps from before, these were the same pink as Polterkitty and made a vaguely-purring sound as they flew about.

'DAH!' Gus yelled, jumping back. 'What the heck are those?!'

'Spirit Balls.' Daisy answered. 'Nothing to worry about with the Dark-Light on our side.'

The floating orbs changed their trajectory, zooming towards the toilet until they disappeared into it. The lid flapped up for a moment, but other than that nothing happened. It didn't even turn invisible.

'I take those Spirit Balls are defective.' Daisy said. 'I can still see the thing.'

Polterkitty's eyes widened. '**I-I think we should get going. Right now.**'

The toilet's lid flipped all the way open. Then, the entire seat began to shake. It twisted itself around, breaking its own foundations.

Daisy shined her trembling light on it. 'Um, K-Kitty... what is it doing?'

Polterkitty hung her head. '**I'm so sorry. I created those special Spirit Balls years ago. When they get into an object, they-**'

A light glowed underneath the toilet's handle, and its lid grew razor-sharp teeth. Its glowing 'eye' darted straight to the heroes.

'EEP!' Daisy yelped.

The now-alive toilet leapt across the room and roared in Daisy's face. The princess froze as it spewed (fortunately clean) water from its bowl all over her. The Toad and kitty hid behind her, both shaking.

'LUIGI, HEEELLLPP!' She yelled without thinking.

Her instinct made her kick the sentient furniture, hard enough that it fell over. Despite being on its side, it continued to thrash about and spew its water around everywhere. Daisy's heart raced. How she hated herself at that moment, for being so terrified of a toilet. With its reign stopped in its tracks, if only for a moment, she could think.

'Alright Kitty, what the hell is that and what the hell do I do?!'

Polterkitty scampered down the stairs. '**We RUN!**'

Daisy wasted no time and lifted Gus into her arms, holding him as tightly as she could. Right on time, the toilet got itself right-side-up and hopped towards her. Its roars soaked her more than she already was.

'First a piano, and now a freaking toilet... what's next? A turntable?!'

The princess charged down the stairs, only stopping when both her feet splashed in the water. Polterkitty hopped onto the Poltergust with a distressed meow.

'Yeah, how do you think I feel?!'

Daisy silently prayed to Grambi, asking him what she did to deserve being chased by a sentient toilet. It clambered down the stairs with great haste, right after her.

'MROW!'

'Oh gee, good idea. I never would have thought of that!'

The way the toilet chomped its seat like a jaw reminded Daisy too much of the possessed piano from the Great Stage, and that was more than enough to run away from it. She charged across the water, holding onto Gus like he was her child.

'RRAAARRR!'

Her heart beat so fast, she nearly puked, a sensation not helped by the rotten smell in the air. She ducked under a short bridge resembling an arched water transport system. Soaked rats squeaked as they scattered away from not just her but the suddenly-sentient bathroom facility.

The princess arrived at a ladder that lead to the top of the bridge and - more importantly - a door. She glanced back for a moment. The toilet was right behind her, bearing its teeth like an angry crocodile. And it would certainly bite her head off like one.

'Alright Gus, you're going up!'

'No, I am NOT going through this a-!'

She ignored his disagreement and tossed him up onto the bridge. He landed flat on his face with a rather pathetic thudding sound.

'-gain...'

The moment she was certain that he made it, Daisy jumped onto the ladder and fought against the weight of the Poltergust as she lifted herself up slowly.

'Get up there, Kitty! Don't worry about me.'

Polterkitty looked down at the aggressive toilet below, and hesitated before joining the fungus on dry land.

'H-High fashion, low fashion, everybody's got their own passion. Play it safe or just go wild. C-Come on and rock your style...'

***CHOMP***

'GAAH!'

Every part of Daisy's body cringed and twitched. Pain shot through her body when the toilet clamped its teeth on her foot. The bystanders couldn't say anything, or _do_ anything beyond staring in horror.

The princess fought back tears, and shook her foot about as if it was nothing more than an angry dog. 'Get off me, ya crap bowl!'

Gus and Polterkitty both grabbed her shoulders, one each. They pulled against the grip of the glorified bucket, which had a greater hold than either expected.

Daisy had a few more, much more vulgar nicknames for her attacker, but settled for kicking it in the 'face' with her free foot. It let go of her and fell to the floor with a deep yelp, but not without a consolation prize. Though Daisy's foot remained attached to her body, albeit with bite marks, it shredded her shoe and sock to pieces.

'And that's all ya getting!' Daisy yelled.

With the help of her team mates, she managed to drag what was left of herself onto the ledge. Thankfully, the toilet was incapable of climbing ladders, and had been reduced to whining like a sad little puppy dog.

Daisy's stomach refused to settle, no matter how many silly songs she sang. Against her better judgement, she puked out pure bile onto the floor. Normally, Gus would've complained about it, but he barely noticed. He was more focused on her foot.

'Okay, your foot is still attached.' He said, only somewhat relieved. 'And the bite marks aren't too deep either. Sorry about your shoe.'

She chuckled. 'You think I care about that? I survived... whatever the hell that was.' She looked to the kitty. 'Aight, you got some questions to answer. You said you created those balls yourself a while back. When and why?'

Polterkitty's eyes shot open wide. She hung her head in shame, like she just disappointed Master for the fourth time that week.

'**It's something my kind can do.**' She explained. '**Master told me to make a ton of them years ago, as another way to trap and kill mortals.**'

'I'm sorry, do WHAT to mortals?'

'**I thought they had all dissipated by now. I can't really get rid of them once they spawn, and... please don't punish me!**' She suddenly yelled. '**I-I didn't know they'd make things even harder for you. I swear!**'

Daisy flinched. The kitty looked up to her with the most 'please don't hit me' eyes she had ever seen. Seeing the small animal so distressed, she could think of nothing better to do than lift her up into her arms and cuddle her. Polterkitty squirmed around for a bit, but quickly relaxed in the warm embrace. She'd forgotten how much she liked cuddles.

'That's in the past now, Kitty.' She whispered, stroking the cat's head. 'The first step to redemption is realising that you've done wrong. So you're one step ahead of a lot of people. You just need to - have you fallen asleep in my lap?'

The kitty jolted awake, and shook her head to the unconvinced Daisy.

'So...' The princess said. 'Should we do something about that crapper or just move on?'

'**Uh, move on. It's incapable of opening doors. Or even climbing ladders. And I'm sure the Hayseed twins will deal with it later. Eventually Clem will get off his tail and present Green Man to Master, but knowing him we still have some time. And we're nearly at the elevator too.**'

And that was the best news that Daisy had heard all day.

* * *

'... so I had to get my own balloon!'

Luigi appreciated the fact that, in a time of such stress, he had someone to talk to. Even if that someone was a hillbilly ghost gal. He had just got done telling one of the more annoying stories concerning his brother.

To his surprise, Billie didn't laugh at him. Her mouth was too agape to laugh.

'Wait, he left ya outta a hot air balloon that y'all brought just fer him? He din't even notice ya?!'

He shrugged. 'To be fair, he had just rescued Princess Peach from Bowser and wanted some 'alone time' with her.'

'Still! That's no way tah treat yer own brother! Ah mean, if'n t'was ma brother, that's exactly how Ah'd treat 'im. But still!'

Luigi's eyes darted over to Clem for a moment. He slept like a dead log, looking rather peaceful laying in his duck floaty.

'You know Billie, you've just been saying mean things about your brother. Don't you have anything nice to say about him?'

'Y'all know how siblin's are. We git along worser than cats and dogs, but that's tha way we loves each other. But if'n y'all want somethin' moar posative... y'all mind if'n Ah tell ya a moar personal story?'

'Only if you want to.'

Billie smiled, but only for a moment. 'Well, it's kinda a sad story, y'all knows. Y'all don't want no details. But Ah'll tell ya this. When me and ma brother were drownin' he let me use 'im as a step-stool tah git out. Y'all can see that it din't work, but it t'was nice at tha time.'

'Oh, your poor things...'

'Eh. Don't worry none.'

* * *

The next room was more of a tunnel of concrete and big pipes, but Daisy wasn't going to complain. Despite all the smokey steam being blown into her face.

'**We're nearly there.**' Polterkitty said, scampering into a more empty but no less musty part of the room. '**We just gotta go up this ladder, and the elevator will be right there.**'

'Oh, I never been happier to hear those words.'

This little open area - aside from the small part of the back wall that led directly into a giant fast fan of death - resembled a very low-budget hotel room. It had a couple of old couches falling apart, and some carpets in desperate need of vacuuming that Daisy was not going to supply.

A table and chairs in the corner stood out among all the dustiness due to looking straight out of a middle-class restaurant. That wasn't the weird part. One chair was totally empty, but the other was 'occupied' by a bucket on a mop. The bucket had a woman's face crudely drawn on it.

Daisy approached Ms Buckethead, and knocked her over with a little tap. 'Yeah, I think I can see the story here. Dude was so desperate for a date, he made one. When that didn't work, he married his own sister.'

Gus cringed. 'Argh, what is wrong with you?!'

'Don't act like you haven't been thinking that too.'

'Ugh... I'll be leaving you and your twisted mind behind as I get out of here myself.'

He proceeded to climb up the golden ladder after Polterkitty, which led him right to the elevator just as the Panthergeist said.

'You coming, Daze?'

'No, I was thinking about hanging with this guy's date for a bit.'

'I don't think she's your type. She's a little too hardheaded. Just get up here!'

Daisy climbed up the bright yellow ladder, and to her absolute joy (that she was too tired to express) it arrived directly into the elevator room. The vertical transport was directly in front of her. Gus was so happy to see it, he ran over and hugged it. And maybe gave it a kiss too.

'You won't mind if I head straight back to the lab now, would ya?' He asked.

'Not for a moment. This has been horribly stressful for all of us.'

The fungus jumped up, pressed the button, and awaited for his ride to arrive. He watched the wrench-shaped pointer above the elevator go from pointing at the fifteen to... pointing at the fifteen. He pressed the button again, and the pointer shifted to the fourteen before returning to its original position.

'Oh come on! Work, you stupid-!'

The pointer went straight for 'B2' in a split second, followed by the elevator cart crashing into the floor behind the closed doors.

'AH!' Gus yelled, jumping back.

Daisy went stiff. 'You... you didn't break it, did you?'

'Hey, if it breaks when I press the button twice, then it isn't my fault!'

The doors opened wide, revealing that the cart inside hadn't broken at all. A familiar laugh echoed in the room.

'Bet y'all t'wert expectin' me tah come back, were ya?'

Daisy's eyes widened. 'She's back...'

'She? Who's she?!'

Daisy switched to the Dark-Light, much more smoothly this time.

'Gus, stand still.'

'Uh, why?'

She didn't want to tell him that he was the bait. Polterkitty stared off into space with wide eyes, shivering on the spot. Daisy figured that's where the Slinker was, and shined the rainbow light over that spot. The translucent mass floated towards Gus with her arms out front.

Daisy yanked her away by her wrist. Though the mortals couldn't see anything in her hand, she could feel the ghostly arm in her grasp.

'How in tarnation didja just grab me like that?!' The Slinker cried. 'Ain't no mortal grabbin' me!'

'Too bad. Now, maybe I'm just being 'ghostist' and thinking you all look the same, but aren't you that same Slinker from before?'

The Slinker scoffed. 'Just like a mortal tah assume all Slinkers are tha same! But yer right. I am. Tammy is tha name.'

Daisy groaned. 'What's your deal?! You said earlier that you _wouldn't_ attack us specifically so **this** didn't happen.'

She rubbed her forehead, and gasped as she realised that she just casually let go of the ghost. She stamped her foot at her own idiocy.

'It's tha boss's orders.' Tammy said from all around. 'If'n she tells me ta do somethin', Ah ain't in no position ta argue.'

'You could at least try!'

'No can do, missy. If'n we disobey her, we git shocked. Assumin' we can even fight back 'gainst her maid powers tah begin wit'.'

Daisy chose not to argue further, and just followed Polterkitty's gaze. Gus shuddered.

'GOTCHA!'

The princess unleashed the Strobulb in Gus's direction, not just blinding him but stunning Tammy in seconds. As Daisy approached the confused Slinker with the Poltergust, she told herself one thing.

_I will not fail this time._

Just like before, the panicking ghost dragged her all along the room. At least this time, the floor wasn't covered in inches of water. Still, she struggled to get a hold on the floor, and the rough terrain did wonders for her currently bare foot.

Tammy, despite slowly getting sucked in, laughed. 'Looks like y'all have gotten no better than tha last time Ah metcha!'

Daisy gritted her teeth, but refused to let go. She took just a moment to think - how did Luigi do it? A grin flashed on her face as the answer dawned on her. She put both her hands on the nozzle, and pulled it up against the ghost's drag like she was fishing.

In moments, she slowed down significantly. Though Tammy still dragged her a little, now she had her footing. She could feel the ghost essence travelling through the Poltergust pipe.

Tammy's face turned from mocking to terrified as she flailed her arms. 'HEY HEY HEY! That is NAWT how this is supposed tah work. Ah'm supposed tah hurt Y'ALL. Not tha other way round!'

Daisy stepped backwards slowly, fighting against the pull of the Slinker with as much might as her body could manage.

'Give up yet?'

'What kinda glue have y'all been puttin' yer nose in? I ain't givin' up till tha end.'

'Alright. I can't believe I'm doing this, but... GIT ALONG LI'L SLINKER!'

Daisy flung the ghost over her shoulder and slammed her into the floor. She shuddered from the unadulterated satisfaction that coursed through her veins, and certainly couldn't stop there. She slammed that sucker again and again. The pained screams of that annoying ghost was music to her ears.

'TAKE THAT!'

'Uh, Daze...' Gus said.

'Aha! I'm not useless anymore!'

'Daisy.'

'What's that? Crying for your ma? Your ma ain't gonna help you ya little-!'

'DAISY.'

The sound of her name snapped her out of her little destruction tirade. She noticed that the Slinker had disappeared, and Polterkitty stared at her in utter terror.

'Oh crap! Where did that Slinker go?'

'Daisy,' Gus said, holding his arms up in the 'wha...' position. 'That ghost got sucked up, like, five slams ago. You okay?'

To her horror, she could feel her cheeks reddening. 'I, uh, guess I got a little carried away. Uh... hey look, the elevator!'

With a happy gasp, Gus ran into the vacant elevator. He got to his knees and rubbed the floor with both palms, and then whispered some weird things to it that Daisy did not want to know.

'Ohhh, I am booking it back to the lab.' He said. 'Oh, speaking of which, I'll need that upgrade thingy back. After what I just went through, no way in heck I'm returning without the dang thing I came out here to get.'

'Can do.' Daisy said, grabbing it from her pocket and handing it over to him. 'Elvin's gonna get way more use out of it than I ever will. See you, Gust.'

'I told you, would you stop...? Oh, whatever. Hopefully, I see you later, Daze.'

He pressed the button to take him up to the basement, and Daisy kept her eyes on him until the doors closed completely.

'I hope he got what he needed...'

Polterkitty tugged on her pants. '**We should hurry before those twins realise the w-water's been lowered. We won't be able to get to them otherwise.**'

'Oh heck yeah. And I'm sure as hell not going through that again unless you paid me.' She inhaled deeply. 'You ready?'

The spectral cat paused for a moment. She couldn't bare to tell Mean Lady just how low their odds of winning were.

'**Yes.**' She eventually said. '**I'm ready. We'll save Green Man. I mean, Luigi.**'

**Author Notes - The revisit removes most of the banjo music. That makes me sad. I will however give credit to how legitimately scary the revisit music is.**

**Playing around with the 'possessed objects' thing totally NOT because I struggled to put the possessed bin in the Paranormal Productions. And it'll probably be a different object every time.**

**Polterkitty can create them because that's the impression I got when I first saw them. Let's see: you first encounter them during a Kitty chase, they share her pink colouring, they make vaguely purring sounds... To quote Oona from _Bubble Guppies_, it 'makes sense to me'.**

**The scene with Billie and Luigi beginning to bond over both being the younger twin was more-or-less improvised. It just kinda happened and I was like 'neat'.**

* * *

_Clement and Wilhelmina Hayseed were the best plumbers and mechanics in not just their big family, but their big town too. Give them any problem, and they'd fix it. They had nailed team work - Clem sat around and did nothing but tell Billie exactly what she needed to do, and the excitable girl who needed instructions to get anything done followed his rather brilliant orders to a T._

_In fact, the two had even upgraded their outhouse to hold far more people, enough for the whole family to get a moment of privacy. It was so great, that people came from around everywhere just to use it instead of their own crappy (pun not intended) outhouses._

_Which is why it was especially tragic when the floor collapsed during a storm, while Clem and Billie were working on it. They were plunged into the waste below. Clem allowed his sister to use him as a step-stool to get out, killing himself for her in the process, but his sacrifice was all for naught when Billie drowned not too long after him._


	22. The Hill(billy) I Die On

**Author Notes - OH BOY! Time for everyone's favourite boss! Protip: spam the Strobulb. It'll make Clem back himself into the spikes.**

**But seriously, this boss is super annoying without that trick. The floaty mechanic was a mistake. Just like m-**

**OH, and by-the-way, if you swing over to the _Luigi's Mansion_ fanfiction archive, you'll find my other LM3 project: 'The Stories of the Last Resort'. This is simply a series of bios, a chapter for each ghost, detailing their backstories, relationships, likes and dislikes, so on. If you want to know more about the Grand Ghosts, including details that are not likely to mentioned in this story, go check it out!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - THE HILL(BILLY) I DIE ON**

Just as Daisy hoped, the water level had lowered and they could now reach the vault. After one quick call to E. Gadd to confirm that Gus T indeed made it, the princess and the ghostly cat had returned to where the whole thing had started. Fortunately, the valve was not missing on this one, allowing Daisy to open the door without another worry. Well, aside from the struggles of having to pull it open again.

After pulling it open, she put her hands on her knees and panted. 'Phew... okay Kitty, give me the low down. What should I worry about when it comes to those twins?'

'**Everything.**'

Daisy blinked. 'Care to be more specific?'

'**Uh... see, Clem is smart when he puts his mind to it, but lazy as all get-out. Billie has energy for days, but is... an idiot. On their own, they're harmless. But when they're together, they're a menace. Be careful.**'

Swallowing her fears, Daisy stepped through the slight opening and Polterkitty struggled to get herself through the wall.

Daisy's eyes widened as she looked up to the top of the room; she had not expected it to be so tall. Granted, shorter than the Garden Suites, but still a very tall metallic cylinder with pipes popping out of the sides. The stainless steel that made up the walls and floor were surprisingly shiny, and judging by the fridge and washing machine this was where the twins spent most of their time.

A more solid floor in the shape of a ring at the top of the cylinder had a ladder leading up to it. Daisy gasped - she could see not only the twin ghosts, but also her plumber. Clem lay to the side, sleeping on his duck floaty - what was with them and rubber ducks? - while Billie sat by a small alcove blocked off by some paranormal gates.

And behind those gates was Luigi, who to her surprise smiled and chatted with the female hillbilly. Huh. At least he's kept himself occupied.

'**So, uh, what are we doing?**' Polterkitty asked.

Daisy stepped towards the ladder, slowly and carefully, keeping her eyes on the ghosts. 'I'm sneaking up on those ghosts, and I'm gonna use the element of surprise to-'

_*SQUEAK*_

She shuddered and cringed, not just at the loud squeak but the small rubber object underneath her bare foot. With great hesitance, she glanced down and saw that she had stepped on a rubber duck that had been laying there. It had a ruby necklace.

Polterkitty went stiff, her eyes going as wide as they could go. '**Oh no...**'

Daisy muttered expletives to herself, in frustration and agony. _I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot..._

The loud squeak left Clem undisturbed, but the little chat between Billie and Luigi came to a swift end. The female ghost turned around and saw the terrified princess immediately, and the moment Luigi's eyes made contact with her he smiled wide. He reached his arm through one of the holes of the gate, as if trying to grab Daisy from all the way over there. The joy on his face nearly made Daisy's heart explode.

Billie smiled too, but for totally different reasons. 'HOO-WEEE! Looks like we've gots ourselves a barg'in!'

Her excited yell woke up Clem, and he gave her a deadly glare from underneath the rim of his dirty cap. 'What is it now, woman? Ah'm tryin' ta git some sleep here!'

She grabbed his head and forcefully turned it to the princess and the kitty. When his brain bothered to process that image, he snickered.

'Well, looky here!' He said, lifting his head off his plastic pillow. 'Our li'l princess had come ta play. And she thinks she can git away wit' squishin' ma Daphne.'

'Doncha mean, _our_ Daphne?'

Clem groaned. 'Fer moonshine's sake, woman! Ah'm tha one who found tha precious ducky, so Ah get full custody rights over her! Ah t'ought we agreed on that.'

Billie scoffed. 'Ah didn't no agree ta nothin'!'

Daisy groaned, already fed up with their married-couple bickering, and armed herself with the Strobulb.

'Get over here, the both of you!' She yelled. 'So I can fight you for real.'

The twins' glares at each other fell, and they smirked towards their common enemy.

'Y'all ready, bro?'

'Ah wouldn't miss it fer tha world.'

Both twins took to the air from their positions, and phased right through the paranormal gates. They ignored Polterpup's unrelenting barking like he wasn't there at all, and placed all four hands on the lever.

'So sis, y'all think we should give tha princess a watery surprise, just like how tha boss wants?'

'Ah'm moar excited than a li'l kid high on moonshine in a candy stoar!'

Luigi gasped, all happiness from seeing Daisy vanishing. He couldn't believe the ghost planning on flooding the room again was the same one he had chatted to.

'B-Billie... w-what are you doing?' He stammered. 'I-I thought we... we were friends...'

For a moment, just a moment, a look of guilt and second-guessing appeared on Billie's face. Even Clem, who had slept through their entire conversation, seemed to be questioning his actions at that moment.

'Ah'm sorry, Green Buddy, but if'n Ah don't help ma brothuh, than our boss will punish 'im. And ma family comes first!'

This lever may have been just as rusty as the others, but with the strength of two the twins managed to push it up without a struggle. Multiple pipes jutting out from the wall opened up, and water flooded out of them. The clear liquid pooled in the wide area, far quicker than Daisy wanted. She cringed as the freezing water covered her bare foot.

'MROOOW!'

The water touched Polterkitty's paws, and in a fit of panic she leapt onto Daisy's shoulder and dug her claws in deep. Daisy cringed, cursing the amount of injuries this kitty had given her.

'Margherita, NO!' Luigi cried.

Billie winced, and turned to her brother. 'Are y'all shore y'all wanna do this?'

Clem frowned. 'Ah'm nawt shore, sis. But tha boss is tellin' us ta do this, and Ah'm shore as moonshine that we ain't disobeyin' her!'

Daisy shivered as the cold liquid climbed up her legs. She had few doubts that the water would flood the entire metallic cylinder.

Polterkitty shivered. '**W-Water... We're gonna drown! WE'RE GONNA DROWN!**'

The princess didn't even care to question why the kitty thought she'd somehow 'die' drowning. Something caught her attention - another floaty like the one she had used before, except this one was shaped like a swan.

'Oh no we're not!' Daisy declared, running for the floaty.

The water worked its way up to her waist by the time she reached her avian ride. She plopped herself into place, relaxing as it carried her upwards with the water surface. Polterkitty, meanwhile, had gone stiffer than a block of lead, and her claws couldn't be any deeper. Daisy lifted her up - nearly screaming as the claws unhooked from her skin - and placed her in her lap.

'I have a few ways I wanna die.' Daisy said, stroking the cat's fur. 'And drowning in sewer water is not one of them!'

Clem stuck his head back through the paranormal gates, and slammed his fist into the floor. 'Y'all gots ta be kiddin' me! Don't y'all realise that ya just doomed ta fail? Why are y'all tryin'?'

'Because I ain't dying without a fight!'

Luigi smiled thanks to her determined attitude, which fell away quickly. 'No no Daisy, you need to get out! Forget about me. Just get out of this hotel and pretend I never existed!'

'I sure as hell ain't doing **that!**'

The water level rose fast, but not too fast so Daisy couldn't see the spikes that wrapped around the top edges of the steel pit. Spikes that the floaty was slowly approaching. She held the Poltergust nozzle out in front of her, and pressed the 'suck' button for a moment to inch herself forward.

'Ha HA!' Billie laughed. 'Y'all got'er there, bro!'

It was then she noticed that her older twin was not laughing. In fact, he gritted his teeth and growled.

'Why... why ain't ya laughin'?'

Clem smacked her upside the head. 'Git yer head together, woman! Ah wanted ta drown that dixie, but she din't drown at all.'

'Oh... HEY, that ain't fair. We was wantin' ta drown her!'

Clem adjusted his cap and spat into his gloves. 'Looks like Ah hafta take matters inta ma own hands!'

Billie stared at him in shock. Her lazy brother, finally doing something without any prompting? She couldn't believe it! She must've been dreaming. The shock wore away when he hopped back into his floaty.

'Really, bro?' Billie remarked. 'Y'all just gonna sit in that there ducky while Ah hafta do all tha work?'

Clem groaned. 'Why y'all godda assume Ah'm just a lazy bum, woman?'

'Cuz y'all never get offa yer butt to do any work 'round here!'

'Well, this is tha exception! Ya take care of the Green Kid, and Ah'll deal with tha princess.'

Clem grabbed into his inflatable ride and threw it into the water, all while still laying in it. He pulled out a paper fan from a pocket on his back and smacked it against his palm, snickering all the while.

'It's just ya and me, Princess!' He declared. 'And Ah gots moar experience on tha water than y'all do. It's either face me in that there floaty, or sink ta tha bottom!'

Daisy's hands shook, but her smirk did a good job of hiding it. 'Oh please. Like I'd get defeated by someone who married his own sister.'

The room fell silent. To the princess's surprise, both hillbillies stared at her with a mix of horror, confusion, and disgust.

'What in tarnation is wrong wit' you?!' Clem yelled. 'We ain't married ta anyone, let alone _each other!_'

'Yeah!' Billie agreed. 'Why in moonshine would we do that? Don't y'all know that we're twins?'

Blush dotted Daisy's cheeks.

'Gah, what are we doin'?!' Clem cried. 'That don't matter right now. What matters right now is me whackin' the sunshine oudda this here princess!'

Clem pushed his floaty towards Daisy's just by shifting his weight a bit, albeit noticeably slower than Daisy could move hers. Not that it mattered; she wasn't going far with those spikes surrounding her.

'Okay Kitty, got a plan?' Daisy asked.

'**Throw me over to those gates.**'

Daisy did a double-take. 'Um... _throw_ you? And how does _that_ help me?'

'**Just do it, okay!**'

The princess thought about this, and then shrugged. Well, she needed something to vent frustration.

Luigi bashed his fists against the paranormal gates, as if any mortal could hope to tear them down.

'Let me out!' He cried. 'Let me OUT!'

Billie glared at him. 'Wouldja stop that! Ah've enuff stuff ta fix 'round here wit'out ya makin' it worser.'

The plumber wasn't sure where his anger was truly directed at: the younger twin who was his friend mere minutes ago, or the hotel owner who forced them to do this to begin with.

'LET ME OUT!'

_*zap!*_

Both Luigi and Billie jumped back from the sudden spark of electricity that just burst from Luigi's hand.

'What in tarnation wasat?'

The plumber looked at his hand with wide eyes. He hadn't done anything like that for a while. Yet, he knew exactly what it was.

'Thunderhand...'

Meanwhile, Daisy had a redneck with a paper fan to deal with. She glanced behind her, seeing nothing but spikes that would - best case scenario - pop her ride, if not skewer her. And lucky old Clem would simply faze through them like they weren't there at all.

'Listen, partner,' Daisy said, using the Poltergust to back away slowly. 'I'm sure w-we can come to some sort of peaceful resolution.'

'What part of 'ma boss'll punish ma sister if'n Ah don't do ma job' didja not understand?'

'Wait, if _you_ don't do your job, your _sister_ gets the punishment?'

'That's what Ah said, ain't it?'

Clem got uncomfortably close to Daisy, and she didn't dare back away any further towards the spikes behind her. He lifted up his paper fan and wound it up.

Daisy held her arm up forward in protest. 'Wait, no! Let's think about th-'

_*WHACK*_

'AHHH!'

He delivered that fan across her arm with a full-blown slap. She retracted her arm and tried her hardest not to cry.

'S-So is that all you've got?' She said, her trembling tone destroying any hope she had of sounding awesome. 'J-Just a fan?'

'Nah.' Clem said. 'Ma plan is ta back y'all inta them spikes. Maybe yer'll drown, or maybe yer'll git skewered! Either way, it's a win fer me.'

'You can't kill me! Doesn't your boss want us alive or something?'

'Nah, that's just tha green guy. Ma boss don't care none what happens ta ya.'

Daisy wished she could get closer and whack him across the face, but that fan had more reach than her own arm did. Gritting her teeth, she held the Poltergust behind her and propelled herself forward. Her floaty bumped into Clem's, both pushing him back a bit and almost knocking him off.

'Hey now!' He yelled. 'Don't do that!'

He reacted by pushing himself forward and revving up to whack her again. Daisy pulled herself out of the way before the fan could make contact with her skin a second time.

'Make like a statue an' stay still!'

Polterkitty landed flat on her face, in a rather un-catlike move. Perhaps she should've thought over this 'throw me' plan a bit more. She couldn't complain too much; she was right by the gates keeping Green Man prisoner.

Billie smiled at her. 'N'awww! Lookit tha li'l kitty! Does kitty wanna treat?'

The cat cringed, not wanting to scare a close friend, but she saw no other option. In a flash of light, she transformed into a mighty panther and roared right into the female twin's face, splattering her with cat slobber.

'AHHHH!' Billie yelped as she fell over backwards. 'What in moonshine are ya doin' that fer?!'

'Don't hurt her!' Luigi cried.

Polterkitty couldn't comprehend how he could say something like that after all Billie did to him, but it mattered none to her. She swiped across the purple gate, slashing it deep with her massive claws. For the first second, nothing happened. The next, the gate shattered to pieces and scattered on the ground like cracked glass. The pieces dissipated mere moments after making contact with the ground.

'Holy shroom, you can do that?!' Daisy cried.

Clem said nothing, a little too stunned by the event on display. Billie, on the other hand, was certainly not so speechless.

'Whaddya doin', Kitty?! Yer supposed ta be on our side, not on tha mortals' side! How do y'all think ma bro's boss is gonna take it?'

Luigi, without a thought, leapt out of his jail and wrapped his arms around Polterkitty's neck. 'Oh Gattina... you're alright!'

Polterkitty had no explanation for the warm sensation feeling up her body with heat, but she adored every moment of it.

Billie clenched her teeth. 'Ah ain't lettin' a kitty ruin ma brother's afterlife!

'And since Ah don't wanna ruin yer afterlife either,' Clem said, already getting fed up with moving so much. 'How 'bout y'all help me out here, sis?'

She tipped her cap to him. 'Can do, bro!'

Ignoring Luigi and Polterkitty, she took her cap off to reveal even more unkempt blonde hair underneath. And from her upside-down cap, she pulled out a sea-mine-shaped _bomb_. She snickered as its lights began flashing the moment her filthy green glove made contact with it.

'WAH!' Luigi yelped.

'Help's comin' from above, bro!'

Billie threw that flashing bomb into the water with one big overarm throw. It landed with a great splash, right by Daisy's floaty.

'EEP!'

The princess moved herself out of the way as quickly as her panicky mind could manage. The bomb detonated, missing her ride but sending water and waves absolutely everywhere. Daisy's floaty zoomed across the water, getting her uncomfortably close to the deadly spikes.

She slammed the button on the Poltergust down. The force it expelled didn't quite match up to that of the bomb, but just as her bare foot nearly touched one of the sharp points the floaty came to a slow stop.

Daisy exhaled a heavy breath, which she immediately sucked back in again when she heard Clem growling through his teeth behind her.

'Really, sis? That's tha best yer got? Do ya really want me tah git ya punished or somethin'?'

'What? No way! Ah'd git ya punished fer that kinda behaviour!'

Luigi knelt down to Polterpup's level and looked him straight in the eye. 'Never mind me, Boy. Go and help Daisy!'

Polterpup saluted his owner with his tail, and leapt into the water.

Polterkitty watched Mean Lady move herself away from the spikes, only to receive another fan-slap across the back. The way Mean Lady cringed from the pain made something inside her do something she had even felt before.

She bared her teeth and snarled as she approached the female hillbilly. Billie backed off with her arms out in front.

'N-Now now Kitty,' She said. 'Let's not do thin's we might regrit...'

Polterkitty froze. Her paw landed in a small puddle of water, bringing her back to that horrible day in the river.

'ROOWW!'

She jumped back, whining and yowling, and scraped her paw against the floor to get the cursed liquid off.

Billie pointed and laughed. 'Aw, com'on Kitty. We drowned too, and y'all don't see us complainin'. And y'all t'were lucky; ya drowned in _water_!'

Polterpup pushed Daisy's floaty around the limited space, keeping her away from both the spikes and Clem's paper fan. She charged up the Strobulb and tried to flash him, only for him to block the intense rays with his fan. He snickered from behind his shield.

Daisy groaned. 'Come on!'

'Y'all serious? Of course Ah'm gonna block yer rays! I ain't ma sister.'

'Ah keep tellin' ya, bro.' Billie said. 'Ah don't think a light could be that bad.'

With the Panthergeist temporarily out of commission, Luigi found himself face-to-face with the angry female twin.

'Ah'll give ya a deal, Greenie.' She said. 'Surrender yerself, and yer li'l princess goes free.'

Clem snickered. 'Hoo boy! Ah didn't think ya could come up wit' somethin' so clever!'

'Ah impress even maself sometimes.'

Luigi gulped. Surrendering wasn't exactly an option high up on his list of things to do today. He looked back at his princess. Daisy kept reaching out to reach the brother, only for Clem to whack her arms away each time.

He hung his head. If he had the Poltergust, he wouldn't even tempt the question. But without it, it was a miracle he was still kicking. As for Daisy... she had proven herself far more competent than himself, as far as he was concerned.

'Alright.' He said. 'If you let Daisy go, I'll-'

'LUIGI!' Daisy yelled. 'Catch!'

She tore the Phantasma-Gloves off her hands, and chucked them over to Luigi with all her might. He caught them in a panic.

'D-Daisy,' He stammered. 'What are you-?'

'What do ya think?' She yelled back. 'Don't worry about using them wrong. If **I** can use them, you can too!'

Luigi took only a second to process the thousands of conflicts and questions rushing around in his already overwhelmed brain. He slipped them over his own gloves before he could tell himself not to. Getting them on was a struggle, and they felt incredibly tight on his hands, but he still felt a strange pulse of energy travel up his arms.

The lights began to glow.

'Nice gloves.' Billie said, approaching him slowly. 'They'll make yer portrait look all tha more purdy!'

Luigi flexed his fingers, finding that they barely restricted his movement. He clenched his fists in an attempt to seem more threatening.

'A-Alright.' He said. 'Come at me.'

Billie smiled. 'Ah like this sudden confadence! It'll make tha fight moar fun.'

'I-I hope you know what these gloves do. I-I can grab you know.'

The female twin chuckled. 'Yeah, right. Ah know how ghosts and mortals work. Y'all can't touch me 'less Ah...'

In the middle of her mini-speech, Luigi ran up to her and grabbed her tail. Before she could even process the situation, he slammed her against the cold hard floor. Unlike Daisy's slams, his had a noticeable pause between each one, mostly so he could stop to say 'sorry' each time.

'Sorry... sorry... sorry!'

Clem and Daisy watched this ruthless display with their mouths agape, for different reasons.

'Git yer hands off ma sister!' Clem yelled.

Daisy, on the other hand, couldn't believe he had mastered the use of them so quickly.

Luigi felt his arms grow tired, but he didn't want to stop until her particles broke apart and vanished into the air. No matter how many times he slammed, it seemed that Billie was no closer to falling apart.

'Ah see what yer doin', and it ain't gonna work!' Clem said, missing his next whack by an inch. 'We're held together a lot betterer than tha random li'l guys y'all see 'round tha place. We ain't gonna break apart that easily!'

Luigi let go of Billie, and backed off from her angry glare. After all that, she certainly seemed a little weaker but far from losing all her spectral health. Polterkitty hissed at her, but that was all she felt comfortable doing when surrounded by water.

Daisy silently thanked Polterpup a thousand times over for moving the floaty around for her. That way, she could actually think about what she was doing. No way in the Underwhere could she throw the Poltergust all the way to him, nor did the spikes allow her to get close. With Clem on her trail, she tried to think of a way to eliminate him as soon as possible.

She grinned.

'HEY BILL!' She hollered. 'I think Clemmy here needs some more help!'

'Ooh, you're right.' Billie said. 'Gimme a moment, bro!'

She reached into her upside-down cap and pulled out another bomb that was already set to detonate.

'BOOOMBS AWAAAY!'

She chucked it as hard as she could, only to find that it had gone absolutely nowhere. She looked back at her now empty hand.

'Oh ma moonshine!' She yelled. 'Tha bomb's invisible!'

Clem whacked his own forehead with his fan. 'Tha bomb ain't invisible, ya donut! It's bein' held by... uh oh.'

Luigi held the ticking bomb in his hands, and contrary to what you may expect he had a cocky little grin on his face.

'Heh heh... uh, who's _da bomb_ now?' Was his attempt at a bold one-liner.

The bomb's ticking got progressively faster as it approached denotation.

'Do ya wanna THROW IT, maybe?!' Daisy yelled as she pushed herself away from the spikes.

Luigi blushed for a moment. 'Oh. R-Right.'

Normally, he'd be lucky to throw the heavy bomb forward at all, but with the boost in strength the gloves gave him he tossed it overarm like a shot-put gold medallist. And for once, his questionable aim didn't screw him over. The bomb landed square in Clem's lap, now ticking at least ten times a second.

'AHHH!' Clem screamed. 'Git offa me!'

He picked up the mine and tried to throw it, but the moment it left his hands it detonated.

Water splashed everywhere.

The mighty force of the bomb may not have harmed his ride in any way, but it certainly sent it flying backwards. All the way backwards, until he was pinned against the edge of the grand reservoir. Which, of course, meant his floaty made contact with the spikes and popped almost instantly.

'WAH!'

'YEAH!' Daisy cheered. 'Good one, Luigi! We don't even need to tell each other our plans anymore.'

With his ride in tatters and the spikes doing nothing to his ethereal skin, he dragged his 'heavy' body up onto dry land.

'Okay Billie...' He said, panting. 'Ah think y'all can taken over now.'

The poor redneck looked up, expecting to see his sister but instead being greeted by a less welcome - and more alive - plumber. Only by towering over him the way he did could Luigi look so menacing.

Clem smiled the kind of smile that showed all his teeth. 'Heh heh... uh, sorries fer nearly drownin' ya? All's forgivin', right?'

Luigi hesitated, his own brotherly instinct taking over for a moment, but the memories of seeing Daisy almost drown overpowered that mercy.

He sighed. 'Sorry, Clem.'

The timid plumber grabbed Clem by the tail and slammed him into the ground face-first multiple times. Enough times for Luigi to see the bald spot underneath his cap. Upon the fifth slam, he stopped. Clem lay on the cold metallic floor, more than a little stunned from the bashes. Little rubber duckies circled around his head.

'Hellen's suckin' ice...' He muttered. 'Tha duckies ain't nice...'

'DAISY, catch!'

'I'm on it!'

Luigi grabbed Clem again - by his shoulders this time - and tossed him overboard. Right into Daisy's Poltergust. The poor thing barely had the energy to resist, and when his grimy head disappeared three rubber duckies popped out instead.

One of the duckies landed in Daisy's lap. 'Okay, what is with their obsession with rubber ducks? More important - where's the button?'

Apparently, it wasn't Clem who was holding the button. And the one who did hold the button was currently-

'LUIGI, LOOK OUT!'

Billie, more than just a little angry that her brother was gone, rushed at the tired Luigi with her hands ready to claw his face off. Luigi spun around and screamed.

'Git over here, ya son of a- OUCH!'

And that was the distinct sound of a ghost getting her tail chomped by an angry Panthergeist. Polterkitty snarled with the fur on her back standing up straight, keeping Billie just out of Luigi's reach.

'Ya blasted kitty!' Billie said. 'Whose side are ya on?'

Polterkitty growled; nonsense to most of them, but a sweet 'on the _right_ side' to Daisy.

'And anyway,' Luigi said, stepping just a bit closer. 'Don't you want to rejoin your big brother?'

'Ya kiddin' me? That there vacuum is a void! No ghost that goes inside ever comes out. I'll be willin' ta bet that's its a wormhole that tears apart yer body!'

This bizarre statement got her looks from everyone in the room.

'Just give her to me, Kitty!' Daisy yelled.

Polterkitty, giving the princess a wink in confirmation, swung Billie around like she was just a lasso, and tossed her at the Poltergust awaiting her arrival. The ghostly hillbilly got her tail stuck in the nozzle, and flailed her arms around so fast it looked like she had fifty of them.

'AH DON'T WANNA GO TA THA VOID!'

And with a little pop, Billie disappeared into the same machine that trapped her brother. The nozzle rattled, and the next elevator button popped out.

'YAY!' Daisy cried. 'We did it!'

What a triumphant moment! With two more ghosts down, our heroes cheered for their little victory. Nothing could bring their mood down!

_*plop*_

Except for the button landing in the water, and drifting slowly down to the floor below. Seconds of awkward silence passed as everyone watched it sink.

'Dang it!' Daisy yelled, before slamming the nozzle into her forehead. 'OW! Geez Elvin... make your products a little crappier...'

'Uh, that's fine.' Luigi said. 'We just have to lower the water level. Again.'

Polterkitty saluted him with her massive paw, and needed no other order to flip the switch in spite of the water that surrounded it. Being extra careful not to break this one either, she turned it back to how it was before. After the sound of rusted metal gears grinding could be heard, the water level lowered like water down a sink.

With Daisy still on the floaty.

'Ah!' She yelped, holding onto the floaty for dear life.

Luigi approached the edge slowly. 'Uh... s-so how do _I_ get down?'

His answer came swiftly when Polterkitty grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him onto her back. It gave him his fiftieth heart attack that night.

'Mrow-row!'

Luigi could only assume that translated to 'hang on', which he was already doing for the sake of his life.

'What are you...? Wait, NONONO!'

Daisy felt a lot safer on the dry floor, thanks to the solid floor and the calming sounds of water flowing in and out of pipes. She leaned back in the floaty and sighed in relief.

'One more nightmare over... another who knows how many to go...'

'**LOOK! LOOK! Over here! LOOK! LOOK! Over here!**'

Polterpup caught her attention with his excited cries as he pointed his nose at the button, which rested right next to the floaty. Daisy shot forward when the bright glow met her eyes.

'Oh my gosh...' She picked it up, and checked the number. 'Floor ten? Floor ten! Luigi, we-!'

'WAHHH!'

Polterkitty touched the ground, slowing her impact just enough so Luigi wouldn't get turned to paste from the G-forces. She looked rather proud of herself, whereas Luigi looked like he just walked into a ghost doing its business.

'N-Next time Gattina... warn me.'

'Meow?'

Daisy chuckled. That particular meow translated to 'I thought I did'. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Luigi hopped off Polterkitty and ran over to his princess. 'D-Daisy?! Are you alright?'

'RELIEF, Luigi! They're tears of _relief_!' She yelled, making sure to give him a smile. 'Oh good LORD, did I miss you!'

'You... y-you did?'

'Oh my g- DID I!'

Without giving him a moment of warning, she jumped out of her rubbery seat and brought Luigi into a big (and very tight) hug. For once, he reciprocated immediately.

'Do you think I went through all of that for nothing?!' Daisy questioned.

'Y-You know... y-you could've just left me.'

'HELLLL no!'

They embraced each other like their lives depended on it, like they never wanted to be separated ever again. Luigi couldn't help noting the absolutely pungent smell coming off her, thanks to the sewer water and her own sweat, but he didn't let it ruin their moment.

'You okay?' He asked.

'Oh yeah. Just fine. Going through that was quite the thrill ride, if anything.'

Polterkitty, who was still a panther, gave Daisy a look of confusion.

'Mrrroaw!'

Daisy cringed just a little. Thank Grambi Luigi couldn't hear the panther making painfully-true accusations.

Luigi's eyes drifted down to her bare foot, and the bite marks surrounding it. 'Uh, Daisy? Where's your shoe?'

The princess chuckled. 'Heh heh... would you believe it if I said a toilet came to life and tried to eat me?'

He blinked. 'Uh... maybe?'

'Yeah. You should've heard Gus's screaming. Wailing more than a-'

'Wait, Gus? Like, Gus T?' He stepped back, breaking up the hug. 'What was he doing with you?'

Daisy rubbed the back of her neck. 'Oh, yeah, that. Uh, long story. Something about Elvin needing an upgrade for the Poltergust. We can check up on that later.'

Luigi no longer looked her in the eyes, and instead focused on her bare foot. The marks weren't quite deep enough to bleed, but he couldn't stand the thought of her having more injuries.

'Maybe we should return to the lab.' He said. 'You're hurt.'

'What? You mean that little bite? After my little solo adventure, I'm too high on the rush. We gotta go to the next floor n-'

The ringtone of the Virtual Boo cut her off. Grimacing on the outside while sighing with relief on the inside, she answered the call.

'Yello?'

'_Ah, Daisy! Good to see that you and Luigi are in one piece. I thought for sure you'd be shark-ghost food by now!_'

'Gee, thanks for the support.'

'_That's what I like to hear! Anyway, you'll be happy to know that Gus successfully returned the Poltergust upgrade to me. I need you to return to the lab so that I can install it!_'

Daisy groaned. 'Now?'

'_Yes! Posthaste! At this very-!_'

Daisy didn't even bother with waiting for the call to end naturally and hung up on him immediately.

'What did he say?' Luigi asked.

'Welp, looks like we're going to the lab anyway.' She sighed. 'Maybe I can tell you about my little adventure on the way there.'

'Oh, I'd like that!'

She took Luigi by the hand, and as they began walking back to the vault door she felt something proverbially biting at her neck. _I have to tell him._ She thought. _He has to know._

'Hey, um, Luigi?'

'Yeah, Daisy?'

'There's, uh, something I need to tell you.'

Polterkitty - who still hadn't returned to her housecat form - grinned.

'What's that?'

'I, um...'

At that moment, she understood why he sometimes had trouble putting words together. She couldn't believe it - the almighty Daisy, afraid to say a few words! Well, a few words that would totally ruin her reputation.

_Come on, Daisy. Just three simple words. Say 'em. I. Was. Afraid._

'I like Bubble Gusties!'

She put on a brilliant fake smile, to hide the fact that she wanted to punch her own face in. Behind her, Polterkitty slammed her paw into her forehead.

_Oh, good one Daisy! You are a GENIUS! Just, I- WOW!_

'Shut up, brain!' She muttered.

'Oh.' Luigi said, quite simply. 'You mean that preschool sh-?'

'YES-that-preschool-show!' She blurted out. 'Look, I dunno why either. Something about it just appeals to me.'

Luigi smiled. 'That's fine. If you enjoy it, you enjoy it. I won't make fun of you for that.'

Daisy sighed in relief. As they approached the door to the way out, she couldn't appreciate his presence anymore than she did at that moment. _I'll tell him someday._ She told herself._ I swear._ She doubted her own thoughts.

Polterkitty strutted after the human heroes, just a little peeved off that they closed the door behind them.

'(Speaking of admitting secrets.)'

She stopped in place, and turned to Polterpup. He glared at her, and his tail beating against the floor was akin to one tapping their foot.

'(Oh.)' Polterkitty said. '(You have something to admit too?)'

'(We both know that I'm not the one who has to admit something.)'

She gulped. '(Eh, w-whatever could you mean? I have nothing to admit.)'

Polterpup sighed. '(You _know_ what I'm talking about.)'

With a whimper, Polterkitty hung her head in shame. She said nothing, not in the mood to say anything. As if she needed to.

'(Admit it, Kitty. You joined our side just so you could double-cross my Master and hand him over to your Master. So you'd seem like her hero.)'

Polterkitty didn't look at him. She couldn't. She didn't argue his points - no need when he was completely correct.

'(My master trusts you, you know. He's believed your 'redemption' since the beginning. It will break his heart when he finds out.)'

'(Yes. I know.)'

Silence.

'(Why haven't you told them yet?)' Polterkitty asked.

'(I'm giving you a chance. Please don't ruin it.)'

* * *

After listening to Daisy's entire (and somewhat romanticised) story, Luigi did not miss the adventure nearly as much as he missed her. But he felt very proud for her when she described mastering the Poltergust. Not to mention very proud of Polterkitty. As for Daisy, she was still uncomfortable to admit how scared she truly was. He could never know.

All the while, they hadn't swapped their main weapons back. Nor had they noticed that Polterkitty remained as a hulked up panther.

'So, what do you think that Poltergust upgrade will do?' Luigi asked as they approached the lab door.

Daisy shrugged. 'I can only hope it's something that made what we just went through even remotely worth it.'

The lab door opened, and the quartet entered. Gus T sat in the corner, breathing in and out slowly as he huddled to the best of his ability. Parr T stood by his side, gently giving him a pat on the back with a soft smile. The aroma of the Gadd family recipe was heavy in the air.

'Sonny! Princess!' E. Gadd said, spinning his work chair around to greet them. 'I must say Daisy, I was quite impressed by your use of the Poltergust. Quite impressive for someone who didn't have any training!'

Daisy chuckled. 'Yeah... which is why I need a rest. Gimme some of that diesel fried whatever-it-was.'

'Uh, I left a couple bowls on the bed.'

The princess removed the Poltergust from her shoulders, and was about to place it on the floor before E. Gadd interrupted her.

'I'll need the Poltergust if I am to upgrade it, Daisy!'

With a groan, she handed it over to him and headed for the relaxing bed and the scrumptious food that awaited her. Polterpup hopped onto the bed beside her as she ate, and cuddled up to sleep.

'I suggest you take a rest, sonny.' E. Gadd said, plopping the Poltergust onto his desk. 'It may take me a while to fix this up.'

'Uh, okay.' The plumber responded.

The moment Luigi sat down next to Daisy, Polterkitty ran over and curled up at his feet. He leaned over to stroke her on the head, prompting her to purr.

'Mrow!'

'Oh, you should probably have this back.' Daisy said as she unclipped the translator from her ear. 'It's a little waterlogged, but it still works.'

She held it out for him in her flat palm. He stared at it for a few moments, before taking it and putting it back on his own ear.

'T-Thanks.' He said. 'Do you want the gloves back, or are you fine with using the Poltergust now?'

She stifled a laugh. 'Yeah, I'm not using that vacuum anymore. I much prefer the gloves, and I think we should use the weapons we're best at.'

Luigi took the Phantasma-Gloves off. 'If we want to live...'

Daisy watched E. Gadd fiddle around with the odd-looking upgrade part. He got his hands into it, and pulled out a much smaller part no bigger than his hands.

'Ah! There it is!'

He put the tiny part aside, and tossed the rest of the upgrade away into a nearby bin.

'You kidding me?!' Daisy yelled. 'We went through all of _that_ for that tiny piece?'

'Now now, princess.' E. Gadd said. 'Don't underestimate this upgrade just because it's tiny! I would've just told Parr-'

'I'm GUS, you colourblind Goomba!'

'-To swipe this little piece from the Boilerworks, but it's kinda hard to find so I got him to grab the whole thing.'

Luigi's eyes widened at this revelation of blatant thievery and possible vandalism. Daisy didn't react to it at all.

'Wonderful.' She said, putting her empty bowl aside.

She leaned back and sighed. The urge to fall asleep was hard to fight. Luigi finished his pickled dandelions, and lifted his knees up to rest his head on.

'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.

'I... I can't believe I let myself get captured so easily by those twins.' He said. 'I couldn't do anything to help you. I... I failed.'

'I think you mean, **I** failed.'

He glanced back at her, not saying a word but his teary eyes speaking for him.

'**I** let you get kidnapped by those rednecks. If I was just thinking straight, that wouldn't have happened.' She sighed. 'Not that it matters now. I saved ya, didn't I? Let's not worry about those pesky what-ifs and focus on what actually happened. Okay?'

'Why didn't you just leave me?' He asked. 'I-I mean, you could've come back to save after you beat King Boo. A-And even if you couldn't, everyone could've lived without me.'

'That's absolute bull, Luigi. And you know it. If I saved Mario and told him you had been killed, he would jump off the damn building. And do think I would go and nearly get skewered and drown if I didn't care about you?'

She neglected to mention the other, albeit much smaller but still very relevant, reason: that she sure as hell wasn't going to survive this journey without him.

He smiled, weakly. 'Yeah. I-I guess that makes sense. You sure you're okay? Your adventure sounded, um, scary.'

'Scary? Pfft. Nothin's a match for Daisy.'

Polterkitty opened her mouth to join in on the conversation, but after considering the consequences of blabbing Daisy's secret to Luigi, she decided to stay quiet.

'Hey Gattina,' Luigi said. 'How come you're still not a little kitten yet? Do you just prefer being big?'

'**Um... yes?**' She responded.

'Well, then you can stay like that if you want. I don't mind.'

Polterkitty stared at him, the words almost incomprehensible to her. No 'you are hideous' or 'you must be pretty at once'? No allergy-triggering powder? No distain dripping from every word? It was nothing like the love that Master gave her. And yet, it was better in every way.

'A-ha!' E. Gadd declared, showing the vacuum off. 'Sonny, the Poltergust has now been upgraded!'

Luigi, with just a little hesitance, stood up. While he walked over to the professor, Daisy glanced at Polterpup.

'Hey Poltiepup,' She said. 'I'm gonna need another shoe. I have a spare in my suitcase, which is hopefully still in my room. 501, if you need reminding. Could you-?'

And, before she could even finish her request, Polterpup had already disappeared in a flash.

'Uh, thanks?'

Luigi put his Poltergust back on, feeling the rush of energy travelling through his nerves as he reconnected with Gooigi.

'So, um, what does this upgrade do, exactly?' He asked.

'Does it increase the efficiently of cleaning windows by zero-point-zero-one percent?' Daisy remarked.

'That, and something much more grand!' said. 'Not only will your slams be more powerful than ever, but I have increased the suction power exponentially. I call it... SUPER SUCTION!'

Luigi held the nozzle in his hand, his eyes sparkling as he stared at it in awe.

'Ooo...'

'Clever name.' Daisy said. 'So what's the catch?'

'Bold of you to assume that there is a catch! ... Unfortunately, you are correct. You have to plug it into a special electrical socket, or some other source of strong electricity, to actually use Super Suction. A minor inconvenience that you can surely handle!'

Luigi glanced at his hand, noting the electrical scorch marks on his glove. Another source of electricity, huh?

'Quick warning,' E. Gadd added. 'When you do activate Super Suction, the Poltergust may sound like a Boeing taking flight. In other words, it'll be really loud.'

Daisy sighed in disappointment. 'Well, I suppose we didn't go out for the _upgrade_.'

'Speak for yourself!' Gus yelled.

'So if you don't mind, I think we're ready to-'

'YIP!'

'EEP!'

Polterpup showed up right next to her, with her orange suitcase in his mouth. Daisy jumped so hard, she fell to the floor.

'Polterpup, don't DO that!'

The doggie paid hardly any attention to her scolding, and simply lay the suitcase down on the floor for her. Daisy looked around, and felt her cheeks reddening upon realising that everyone was staring at her. Gus's look was not of confusion, but more so 'really?'.

Parr giggled. 'What was that?'

'You okay, Daisy?'

Daisy felt her fight-or-flight instinct kicking in as the stares refused to leave her alone, not helped by how red she could feel her cheeks getting. To distract herself from the stares, she opened up her suitcase.

'Surprise.' She said. 'That was surprise. Geez...'

She took out a spare shoe and a sock, and put them on. Neither matched the ones she was already wearing, not that she really cared.

'Kay, now that I'm properly equipped,' She said. 'Where are we going now?'

'Floor ten.' Luigi answered. 'Which, uh, is one of the weirder floors.'

'What? Weirder than the castle?'

'Yes, actually. It's the Tomb Suites, and it's apparently a recreation of a Sand Kingdom pyramid.'

Now everyone was staring at _him_, with similar yet different looks of confusion.

'Excusez-moi?' Daisy questioned. 'An entire pyramid?'

'Yep. With chambers included. Apparently. Polterkitty, is there anything we should be worried about?'

With a gulp, Polterkitty gave him his answer with a shaky voice.

'**Everything.**'

* * *

**_CLEM AND BILLIE, THE TRASHY TWINS_**

_AGE - 28_

_GENDER - Male (Clem), Female (Billie)_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Drowned in... actually, you don't want to know_

_Clem and Billie Hayseed used to be the best plumbers in their town, until that VERY unfortunate outhouse incident. You'll typically find them either banjo-playing or collecting more rubber ducks. Just don't think they're married. They hate that. Yet, the two of them are tighter than bark on a tree._

**_CLEM, THE LAZY BROTHER_**

_AGE - 28, the older_

_GENDER - Male_

_Clement may be the elder, but certainly isn't the responsible one. He prefers to lounge around all day, when he isn't checking up on his rubber ducks. Behind that lax nature, however, lays a surprisingly smart brain. If only he would be bothered to use it._

**_BILLIE, THE DIM-WITTED SISTER_**

_AGE - 28, the younger_

_GENDER - Female_

_Wilhelmina, unlike her older brother, cannot sit still. She is always motivated to do something, even when it's just mopping the floor. Unfortunately, she hasn't quite got the brains to do anything with it. There's a drinking game to sip for every time she forgets how to spell her own name._

* * *

**Author Notes - Oh boy! What fun it is to write a boss when you felt the need to add a twin! But seriously, it was quite the experience and I am never doing it again. I figured that since Daisy's been using the Poltergust across the last few chapters that Luigi should have a try at using the gloves.**

**With everyone's least favourite floor out of the way, we'll move on to arguably one of the best: the Tomb Suites! And, to say the least, Serpci may not be entirely what you're expecting her to be.**

* * *

_Clem and Billie can still easily recall the time they discovered their first rubber duck. It was a family heirloom - of sorts, considering that this was the first generation it was a part of - that they inherited. This annoyed their many siblings, who believed they were getting favouritism just for being the only twins in the family. Her name was Daphne, and she had the most beautiful necklace. She was the last thing of their family they ever had._

_Hellen Gravely knew about their love for rubber ducks, so when she wasn't blackmailing them by threatening to hurt their twin she did so by using their ducks as bait. Both twins still had it burnt into their memory when Hellen ordered Polterkitty to rip Dorothy to shreds. They never let Polterkitty play with any other ducks after that, and they made sure to obey their boss. Daphne was next._


	23. Tomb Raider

**Author Notes - Insert gloat about not dying on this floor once here. Like the Boilerworks before it, the sheer length of this floor requires three chapters.**

**Alternative chapter name: I Don't Like Sand It's Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere.**

**What's this? This ancient Egyptian relic says that JDawg002, adamlawor, Dragon Of The Ecplising Moon, Lizbizwiz, and Ghasthunter have left favourites/follows, and must be thanked for their deeds!_ (Okay, but in all seriousness, I forgot to do this last chapter because I'm just that smart. So anyone who was missed last time has been acknowledged here! Hopefully.)_**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - TOMB RAIDER**

In the silence of her artificial pyramid, a beautiful pharaoh ghost slept in her sarcophagus. As always, the coffin was not fully closed, with a slight opening to allow a slither of light to get through. She felt so relaxed in her sweet little home.

_Serpci... Serpci... SERPCI!_

'AHH!'

The pharaoh jumped awake, hitting her head on the lid of her bed. She breathed heavily, and looked around everywhere.

'What? Where?! Get away!'

The mystic voice of her boss sighed. _Must you always panic every time you hear my voice?_

Once Serpci realised it was just her boss speaking to her and not some scary creature, she sighed in relief. What a shame that ghosts could still blush.

'S-Sorry boss.' She said, trying to speak gracefully. 'I thought this was my break time. What has compelled you to interrupt me?'

_Oh, sweet Serpci, you appear to be out of the loop. Our lovely guest is arriving at your floor._

Serpci's eyes widened. 'Wait, you mean it? You mean...?'

_Why, yes! I mean the legendary Luigi himself!_

Serpci almost didn't believe her. It didn't seem as if something like this could ever happen to her. Her mouth grew into a smile that got bigger every second.

'EEEEEEE!'

She shot out of her bed with the energy of a child who just got told she could star in her favourite movie franchise. She spun around in the air, and flew over to a part of the wall of her tomb.

Her tomb was beautifully decorated with ancient rugs and urns, along with real treasures, but this wall was her favourite part of the hotel. It was a picture of her hero, surrounded by a beautiful Sand Kingdom background, carved into the stone wall and painted with bright vibrant colours. The green-clad plumber depicted posed like the humans in hieroglyphics.

_I still think you should get rid of that ugly carving._

Serpci crossed her arms. 'Well, it's _my_ pyramid. If I want pictures of my hero, then I'll have pictures of my hero.' She smiled again. 'I can't believe... I finally get to meet him! I've been waiting my whole afterlife for this!'

This statement was rather inaccurate, as she had only known about Luigi's existence for a few years. It didn't feel like only a mere few years to her though.

_You are making quite the fool of yourself. I think you should know that._

Serpci's big smile dropped, and she adopted a far more serious look. Her tensed arms fell, and resumed a crossed position.

'Yes. Of course. A graceful pharaoh such as myself should not act like such a child.' A small squeal slipped through her teeth.

_But I do have good news for you, Serpci. How would you like to have Luigi as your friend forever?_

Serpci scoffed. 'I'm afraid I don't exactly trust you, Boss.'

_Ah, so you say. But why would I lie about something this important to you?_

The pharaoh cocked an eyebrow. Her gut told her this was a big red flag. Granted, her gut feeling often went overboard over things like mice, but she knew she could trust it this time.

'Sorry Boss.' She said, shaking her head. 'No deal. As excited as I am to talk to my hero, it is simply not right to force him into a life like what you obviously have planned. As a fan, I want him to be happy.'

Hellen laughed. _Oh, naive little Serpci. You truly want to be with Luigi forever. You need him by your side at all times. Admit it, sweetie. You want him._

Serpci tried to ignore the words, but even her power couldn't overcome it. Her ability to deny slipped away, and she unleashed a fit of giggling that got more and more unhinged by the second.

'Yes... YES! I shall have Luigi all for myself! And I will make him love me the same way I adore _him_! He'll be mine FOREVER!'

She returned to her sarcophagus and lay back down on her bed, awaiting the moment her hero came around.

* * *

After the horrors of the surprisingly frightening boilerworks, the trio hoped for a much easier floor ten. Judging by Polterkitty's reactions though, they were in for their hardest trek yet. The way she spoke of the terrifying Serpci and her deadly traps... it put Luigi on edge. Polterkitty would've mentioned the whole 'big fan' thing, but she recalled Serpci forbidding her ever mentioning that to outsiders.

The elevator door opened, and before Luigi even stepped out of the cage he winced from the musty smell. The door opening had scattered sand particles into the air, and it made his nose sting.

The elevator hall resembled something straight out of a pharaoh's throne room. The yellow brick work made it look like a pyramid. The floor was decorated with green lounges, a few dusty vases, and a fruit basket. The fruits in which smelled slightly rotten. Polterpup sniffed them, and even he didn't feel like eating them. There was a giant triangular plate in the middle of the floor.

'Again,' Daisy said. 'HOW is this in a hotel?! What kind of a budget does Hellen have?'

Glancing around at the actually rather pretty deco in the room, she walked forward and stepped on the metal plate. Her heart almost stopped when it sunk into the floor.

'Oh lord...'

The four pillars in the room spun around, revealing metal snake heads that aimed at where she stood.

'Oh dear...'

Poison-tipped arrows fired from the snake heads, and all four projectiles shot for her face.

'AH!'

She jumped back, all four arrows missing her and crashing into the walls instead. One in particular whisked straight past her eyes. It made her frightened heart beg for more oxygen.

'I hate this floor already!' She yelled. 'Hate it, hate it, hate it! I've already got gashes on my chest. I sure as hell don't need an arrow to the face!'

She breathed through her gritted teeth, her breath growing increasingly intense in an attempt to curb her tears.

'Uh, Daisy?'

Her heart skipped a beat. She had totally forgotten that her plumber could actually accompany her on this adventure.

'That, uh, was still surprise.' She said. 'Not fear. Seriously, why do you guys keep thinking it's the same thing?'

'Um, did you need to specify that it wasn't fear?'

'Just needed to make the distinction. That was all.'

Luigi cocked an eyebrow. Already, he had some suspicions over her 'no fear' claims, and her shaky tone didn't help. _Don't be silly, Luigi. Why would she be scared of anything?_

'**And that's trap number one.**' Polterkitty said, the words making Luigi shudder.

'Um, trap one?' He echoed. 'How many traps are there?'

'**Uh, that depends. Are we talking _all_ the traps, or just the ones that kill you in minutes?**'

His face went as pale as a vampire.

'Okay,' Daisy said, stepping around the triangular plate. 'I do NOT want to know what her answer was.'

'She said-'

'I do NOT. Want. To know.'

Polterkitty walked across to the hallway going down the left - can never have too many of those - with her massive paws kicking up dust with each step. She hoped that maybe, just maybe, Serpci would make it easy on them and gladly give Luigi the button. She didn't mention this possibility to her team-mates; no need to set them up for disappointment.

'**If we keep going this way,**' She said. '**We'll find Serpci's tomb. Believe me when I say that you cannot miss it.**'

As the group travelled down the hallway, the one with a bronze cobra head at the end, Luigi ran his glove across the wall. The amount of dust it picked up was extraordinary. If they had any time to, he'd vacuum up every single speck.

They passed a banner, made entirely of woven fabric that the hotel claimed to be authentic, with lovely cream-coloured tassels. It depicted a pyramid by a river, surrounded by palm trees and a gorgeous sunset. Luigi leaned forward, paying attention to every individual stitch. Though there was seemingly more sand than actual fabric and it was clear it wasn't nearly as old as it claimed to be, it had to be woven by hand.

'Wowie...'

'Uh, Luigi.' Daisy said from a little further down. 'You might wanna look at this.'

Luigi saw the rest of his team staring at the second banner hung up on the wall, and only when he rejoined them did he understand why.

'M-Momma mia...'

This banner depicted a man, performing the famous 'walk like an Egyptian' pose associated with hieroglyphics. This man, done up in a green shirt, green cap, and blue overalls, had a red vacuum cleaner on his back.

In other words, the man depicted on the banner didn't just _look_ like Luigi. He _was_ Luigi.

'Um... w-why is there a picture of me on the wall?' Luigi asked.

'I dunno.' Daisy said. 'Why are you asking me? Ask the kitty or something. I can't get over how weird this is!'

Up until this point, the various nicknames given to him - Green Kid, Green Lad, Green Guy to name a few - convinced him that no ghost in the hotel aside from King Boo and Ms Gravely knew who he was. This banner threw that out the ten storey window, at least for Serpci.

'Uh, Polterkitty? Can you tell me why Serpci has a picture of me on the wall?'

'**I would tell you,**' The Pathergeist said. '**But I promised her I wouldn't tell outsiders.**'

'Well,' He gulped. 'I-I guess I can respect her privacy.'

'Which is why we're breaking into her floor.' Daisy said. 'Speaking of which... come on!'

Near the end of the hallway, they came across a door with an arch somewhat resembling the entrance to a pyramid. It had been painted lovely colours that had faded away from time, or at least it mimicked paint fading throughout the years. It made Luigi feel like an actual tomb explorer, a tomb raider if you will, about to uncover some sort of amazing secret in the pyramid's chambers. He couldn't tell if he liked that feeling, or hated it.

There was just one thing stopping his ancient adventure - a large heap of sand piled in front of the door, just enough to cover the handle.

Daisy groaned. 'Gah, I hate sand! It's coarse, and rough, and... so IRRITATING!'

'And it gets everywhere.' Luigi added. 'But the Poltergust should be able to deal with it. Hopefully.'

'I'd hope so too.'

Luigi aimed his Poltergust at the pile and began sucking up every last grain of sand. The fine dust travelled through the vacuum just as easily as ghost energy did. It disappeared grain by grain in a way that resembled water and gave Luigi perhaps more satisfaction than it should have. He didn't stop until all the sand was gone, even long after he removed enough for them to get through.

Daisy smiled. 'My castle is going to be so much cleaner when you move in.'

'Don't you have maids that clean up for you?'

'Well, yeah, but as a gardener I bring so much mud indoors that they sometimes give up for the day.'

He chuckled. 'Maybe I won't be moving in after all.'

'HEY!'

Luigi opened the door, to a sight that the mortals nor their ghost dog expected.

It was like the door had teleported them to the Sand Kingdom itself. A starry night sky (actually painted) surrounded a desert landscape filled with remains of ancient structures and treasures. Among the slight dunes stood a glorious pyramid, perhaps not as big as the real ones but still big. Though most of the outing covering was long gone, mostly thanks to looters, slivers of the limestone walls and golden top could be seen from their reflections of the dim 'stars'.

Daisy shivered. 'I-I forgot... d-deserts are F-FREEZING at night!'

Luigi shivered too, but that wasn't his main concern. By opening the door, he scattered sand particles into the air. His nose tickled from the irritating grains.

'_AH-CHOO!_'

Daisy jumped back, her heart stopping for a moment. 'Oh g-geez, that w-was you! Are y-you a-a-alright?'

'Yeah.' He sniffed. 'I'm just, um, sensitive to dust and stuff.'

'Ah. That w-would explain a l-lot.'

Polterkitty stepped out in front, making sure her steps didn't scatter too much dust for the sake of Luigi. Her ethereal skin barely felt much of the cold at all, but she could still feel the cold breeze generated by the fans passing through her fur.

'**That's where Serpci usually stays, in her pyramid replica.**' She explained. '**She doesn't leave very often.**'

'Uh, then I guess that's where we're going.' Luigi said.

The group began making their way over to the wonder of the world in the middle of the giant room. This had to be one of the quietest parts of the entire hotel yet.

'Okay, s-seriously!' Daisy said, looking around. 'H-How do t-they af-f-ford to k-keep a p-place like this i-in a h-hotel?!'

Luigi was too busy focusing on her to let the scenery sink in. He could see the goosebumps on her arms. Turned out that shorts and a T-shirt was a bad outfit for exploring a night-time desert. Luigi felt bad for her; at least his get-up was warmer than hers.

'You okay, Daisy?' A bit of a silly question, but a good conversation-starter.

A silly question indeed, considering that the 25-degree-Fahrenheit heat made her shiver so much that her teeth clattered. She rubbed her crossed arms in any attempt to warm herself up even slightly.

'I-I am f-fine!' She claimed, to no avail. 'Y-You t-think I c-c-can't handle the c-c-cold?'

'Your teeth are clattering.'

'I kn-kn-KNOW THAT, L-Luigi! S-Sarasaland isn't e-exactly known f-for being c-cold. T-Tell that t-the pyramid is w-w-warmer.'

Polterkitty answered with a meow that Daisy had no hope of understanding.

'She says that Serpci keeps the inside of her pyramid heated.' Luigi translated.

Daisy sighed in relief. 'Oh t-t-thank the g-gods.'

They ascended the short flight of stairs that led up to the entrance, which was similar to the last door except now topped with a stone snake head. A solid slab of hand-carved rock covered up the door. The entrance was 'guarded' by two statues of Serpci herself, both holding a snake-shaped staff but one holding it higher than the other.

Daisy knocked on the slab. 'So, is t-there an invisible d-d-door h-here, or...?'

Polterkitty, cursing for a moment that only one mortal could understand her at a time, shook her head. She walked over to the statue with its arm raised. Checking to make sure that the others were watching her, she grabbed the raised arm with her mouth and moved it down to match the other statue.

'Uh, are you sure you should be doing that?' Luigi asked.

As if to answer his question, the eyes of both statues glowed. The stone slab blocking the door shook about, loosening some sand, before it slid upwards far enough to reveal the entire door behind it.

'Oh.' Daisy said. 'Why t-though?'

Polterkitty shrugged.

'Is t-the entire f-floor l-like that?'

The kitty didn't answer, and just gave her an awkward stare.

'Oh j-j-joy.'

'Well,' Luigi said. 'We won't get it over and done with if we don't go inside.'

The inside of the 'ancient' tomb was, as promised, much warmer than the outside. In fact, it was at quite possibly the most comfortable temperate in the hotel. Right after all four members of the party got inside, Daisy relaxed her muscles as the warmth greeted her.

'Ooh yeah...' She murmured. 'That's the stuff.'

Luigi shined his flashlight across the room. It certainly felt like he had entered a tomb, yet one that was refurbished to be a comfortable living space. The heater in the corner of the room, though painted to match the sandy walls, ruined the otherwise impressive illusion. A cupboard, a lounge, a leaf fan... the four torches surrounding the coffin in the middle couldn't quite keep up the ancient façade.

The light of the 'moon' - actually a powerful ceiling light - shone down on the sarcophagus through a hole in the ceiling. All four torches lit themselves at once, the flames bursting from thin air.

Luigi flinched. 'Wah!'

Polterpup sniffed the air, sensing about ten forms of danger. '**I have a bad feeling about this...**'

'Y-Yeah. Me too.'

Luigi's nerves went stiff when he shone his light over another picture of him on the wall. Part of him thought it might have been someone else - like that slightly shorter Luigi he met during some galactic adventures who apparently 'came from another dimension to help out' - but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was indeed him.

Daisy, very casually, approached the slightly-open sarcophagus. 'Now let's see what treasures you're hiding.'

'Daisy? Don't! You could-'

The princess ignored his warning, and pushed the lid open just a little bit more. She immediately regretted it when she saw who lay inside.

'Uh, Luigi?'

'What have you done now?'

'I, uh, think I found her.'

Serpci looked so calm and relaxed, lying in her resting place with her arms crossed. Until her eyes shot wide open.

'EEK!'

Daisy jumped back, landing inelegantly on her rear on top of a circular carving in the floor. Before Luigi could even begin to question that, Serpci exited her sarcophagus, floating in a way very akin to a snake slithering through a grassy thicket. Her body and arms moved in an almost hypnotic fashion.

'I am Serpci Sphynx, ruler of the sands.' She chanted. 'What brings you to my magnificent lands?'

She stared down at the terrified princess, her gentle yet domineering glare practically forcing an answer. Not that Daisy would allow herself to look scared much longer.

'Listen Queenie! I don't have time for this. Just give me the button so we can get out of here!'

Serpci just giggled. Luigi backed away just a bit, not even entertaining the thought of abandoning Daisy.

'You seem quite cocky, my brave little sweetie.' The pharaoh mused. 'What makes you think you can beat this Nefertiti?'

Daisy scoffed. 'Please. We captured every ghost below you and we'll do the same to you!'

The smile on Serpci's face dropped. Completely. It morphed into a small frown and then a scowl.

'Excuse me?' She questioned. 'Did you just say you captured _every_ ghost before me? Every one?'

'Yep! So how about you save yourself some trouble and give us any elevator buttons and/or portraits you have on you now?'

'Including the _king_?'

'Uh, you mean that delusional actor? Yeah... why him?'

Serpci's body language hardly changed at all, aside from her clenched fist, but her orange aura shifted to a more red colour. Luigi squeaked in alarm, while Daisy regretted a decision for the second time.

'You captured my sweet, sweet husband?!' Serpci yelled.

Daisy did a double-take. 'Wait, your hus-? That guy was your_ husband?!_'

Luigi could feel the angry vibes emanating from the pharaoh, even after she regained her composure.

'For your crimes against my sweet William MacFrights, you shall now be trapped in my tomb for a-thousand-and-one nights!'

She snapped her fingers, and on its cue the carving beneath Daisy opened up. She had all of half-a-second to even comprehend her situation before she plummeted down screaming into the chamber below.

'DAISY!'

Polterpup stepped forward and growled at Serpci, to which she paid no mind at all. If anything, she floated over to Luigi much closer than he was comfortable with.

* * *

'AAAHHHH-! Oof!'

Daisy landed on her rear again, this time after a much higher fall. Whatever she landed on was hard as rock, yet covered in what felt like snake scales. She looked up, and saw the hole that she fell through.

It was at least two storeys above her.

'Greaaat...'

She had no time to check out her new surroundings, as the platform beneath her disappeared just like the one above.

'WAAAH!'

This fall ended quicker, and a little more softly. Instead of hard rock, she landed in a pile of sand. Somehow managing to get her head stuck in the grains. If she could've, she would've spouted several vulgar words.

She swung her legs forward and yanked her head out of the sand, coughing out the many grains that got trapped in her throat.

'Sweet Luvbi. I'd rather deal with a _Thorny Menace_ taking over my castle than this!'

At that moment, she looked up with a gasp.

'Luigi...'

* * *

The green-clad plumber was not doing much better, thanks to Serpci getting uncomfortably close to his face. He leaned back a bit, but could still feel her ghostly breath on his nose.

'Now that she's out of the way,' She said. 'You can be mine forever!'

Luigi gulped. Polterpup growled. Polterkitty wondered what the heck was up with her.

'Um, w-what?' Was all Luigi could say.

Serpci giggled. 'Oh, Luigi. You silly little snake. Don't you know? I'm your biggest fan!'

His cheeks turned a deep shade of red. He never thought anyone would say that about him, and now that someone had he wished they never did.

'Y-You are?'

'Oh, I _love_ you, Luigi! You're so brave and glorious. And with that princess gone, you're all **mine**!'

Luigi gulped back bile. 'Um, I-I'm taken. And, uh, aren't y-you married?'

Serpci giggled again, and blew him a 'kiss' made entirely of a small sandy blast to the face. He shivered, and fought the urge to sneeze in her face.

'Don't be silly, Luigi! I don't love you like that. My sweet William could never be replaced. But I still want you. And my boss has promised me that I will have you on the walls forever!'

Luigi's eyes darted to the hole. He took one step to the left to get around the pharaoh ghost, but she kept her face inches away from his.

'L-Listen, Serpci. I-I don't think your boss has your best interests in mind.'

'But she knows how much you matter to me. She wouldn't lie about that! And she's promised me that I can keep you forever, just as long as I- OWW!'

Polterpup chomped down on her tail, growling like a beast defending its babies. Luigi took this moment, and jumped down the hole after Daisy.

'GET OFF ME!' Serpci shouted, ripping Polterpup off her tail. 'If you get between me and Luigi, I swear to my father above, I will-!'

Polterpup leapt out of her hands and disappeared after his owner. Polterkitty, not wishing to deal with an angry Serpci even when as a panther, flashed the pharaoh a nervous smile before joining her team-mates down the hole.

'You get back here, Neferkitty! And you better bring the courageous Luigi to me!'

Then it dawned on her: perhaps Luigi being forever lost in her chambers wasn't so bad after all. Someone as amazing as him could survive the traps with ease.

* * *

Luigi fell all the way through to the bottom, his fall being cushioned only slightly by him landing directly in Daisy's lap. Sand and dust scattered everywhere as both humans groaned in pain.

'Oh, hey there Luigi. Decided to drop on by, eh?'

'Daisy? Daisy! Are you o... o... - _AH-CHOO!_ \- okay?'

'I'd say more than you, but frankly I have no idea anymore. I heard everything from down here. What's it like having a fangirl?'

'I don't like it.'

Luigi got to his feet - a tough task considering the uneven terrain - mostly so Daisy could do the same. They were trapped in a circular chamber, lit only by the dim light of Luigi's torch, its bottom filled up with sand.

'So,' Daisy said, admiring the way her voice echoed about fifty times. 'Did you have a plan when you jumped down here? Or did you just-?'

'Jump down here without thinking? Yep.'

'Eh, it's not like I would've done anything smarter. Maybe we should-'

She got interrupted by a big pink ghostly panther landing on her as it touched the ground, thanks to Polterkitty's pedant preventing her from simply floating down. Fortunately, though Daisy got a mouthful of sand again, even as a massive beast Polterkitty weighed barely anything at all. It was the equivalent of getting 'crushed' by a Styrofoam cube.

Polterkitty either didn't know or didn't care that she crushed the princess, as she merely purred once she was in Luigi's presence again. Polterpup came floating down after her, flying in a spiralling fashion before he perched himself at his owner's feet.

Daisy dragged herself out from under the Panthergeist's body, thankful that her only major injury was covered up and unlikely to get infested with sand.

'Alright, Kitty.' She said, dusting herself off. 'Tell me you know what to do, or I'm gonna have to hurt you.'

Polterkitty flinched. Knowing well that Daisy had no way of understanding her, she delivered her information to Luigi.

'She says that she hasn't been here in a while,' He translated. 'But she remembers the puzzles kinda well.'

'Kinda?'

'Hey, it's better than nothing. She at least knows how to get us out of this chamber.'

'Yeah, that'd probably be a good start.'

Polterkitty, who was unfortunate enough to take up at least a third of the available surface, turned herself around and headed for the closest thing the chamber had to a 'corner'. She dug through the sand, making quick work of it thanks to her massive paws, until she uncovered another Serpci statue resting by the wall.

Like one of the statues before, this statue had its arm raised. She grabbed the raised arm and slid it into its proper position, prompting the eyes to glow. One of the walls on the chamber slid down and sunk into the sand, revealing a small hallway.

'Okay, I get it.' Daisy said. 'There's gonna be rooms with puzzles we gotta solve, and they involve something to do with these statues. Correct?'

Polterkitty nodded, to which Daisy sighed. The princess stepped up into the hallway, shaking sand off her mismatched shoes, and helped her male partner lift himself and the Poltergust up the small step.

'I joked about it,' Daisy said. 'But seriously, that queenie is creeping me the heck out! The way she spoke of having you on her wall, forever? What is _wrong_ with her?'

'She might be the creepiest one yet...' Luigi added.

As the group walked down the small hallway that Polterkitty could barely fit her body through, the Panthergeist thought about Serpci's actions. Not once did the pharaoh even _hint_ that she wanted to 'have him on the walls forever'.

She growled to herself, knowing well that Master had something to do with it. But she wouldn't question it; Master always knew best. Yet, she began to wonder, did Master _really_ know best?

* * *

'I believe every ghost deserves a second chance, if they're willing to cooperate. You're currently on chance number eleven right now, Ms Gravely.'

Wherever King Boo went off to when he wasn't discussing with her was beyond Hellen's capacity to care. All that mattered was that whenever he _did_ return, he had very few nice words to say.

He didn't even sound angry. Just disappointed. Which Hellen saw as much, _much_ worse. And it was beginning to make her nervous. She tapped her fingers together as he stared at her the same way headlights looked at a deer.

'N-Now Sweetie,' Hellen said. 'I know the situation seems very unfortunate right now.'

'Understatement of the century. Those hillbilly twins, of all ghosts, got close. _Frustratingly_ close. It would've been preferable if they weren't close at all.'

'Oh, don't worry about that! Serpci is a powerful fighter, and there's no way she will pass up the opportunity to have her hero framed on the wall!'

'Uh huh. Didn't you say that Amadeus and Ug were the most trustworthy of them all? And that caveman lost to the princess with hardly any experience at all.'

Hellen wiped away some sweat from her brow. 'Uh, well... if that confounded man hadn't won them over with his diplomacy, they would've succeeded.'

'Surrendering is just as bad as getting beaten.'

The hotel owner felt ill. What luck it was for her trap to fail just once after so many years, on the most important attempt of all. She watched the mortals navigate the passageway, and use Gooigi to get around a simple poison arrow trap.

'He just... has so much!' She said. 'His Poltergust, that gooey body, that cocky little princess, that horrid dog-!'

'And your pet?'

Hellen chuckled. 'My sweet Polterkitty is too clever for that. If all else fails, she'll double-cross that plumber and hand him to me directly. And if she doesn't... well, that's what the electroshock collars are for.'

The nonchalant way she said that managed to unnerve even King Boo. No matter how useless his own minions were, he was a saint to them compared to Hellen.

'Uh, riiight. May I ask why Serpci has pictures of that... man in her floor?'

Hellen groaned. 'I keep telling her to remove those ugly banners, but she never listens! Why she looks up to that waste is beyond me.'

* * *

The passageway wasn't that long, and with Polterkitty's help getting up the ladder at the end wasn't so bad either. The top of the ladder lead to a much smaller corridor, with barely enough surface area to fit all four of them. At the end of the tiny corridor was one of many sarcophaguses to be found in the pyramid's walls.

Daisy, with a weary sigh, approached the coffin that served as their way out.

'**Be careful when you open that.**' Polterkitty warned. '**When you open it, there might be some-**'

Of course, Daisy couldn't understand her warning, and opened the coffin up without hesitation. It took her by more-than-surprise when three bats swooped out of the golden husk, squeaking incessantly as they flew by her head.

'AH!'

'Wah!'

Like most wild animals, the bats had no intention of fighting and simply flew away back down the ladder. One in particular bumped its head into the wall on its way down.

Daisy barely managed to not explode. 'Okay, mind telling me why that coffin had _bats_ in it?!'

Polterkitty shrugged, much to the princess's frustration. Against his better judgement, Luigi peered into the now empty coffin to see that it had no back. It lead directly into the next room, like a door frame without the door.

He gulped. 'H-Here goes nothing...'

On the other side was the massive chamber that Daisy was only able to see for a brief moment. Though not as big as the atrium of the Garden Suites, it had to be at least as big as the Great Stage.

Coffins with snake heads lined the walls. The middle of three doors stood underneath a giant headless statue big enough to take up the entire wall, and had two snake sculpture holding boulders in their mouths guarding it. The dusty brown bricks that made up the walls and floor, unlike those in Castle MacFrights, seemed genuine. In the middle of the giant room was the pit that they were just in.

Daisy's eyes drifted up to a fourth door, one that no doubt was the way out. Just one problem - the door was on a platform near the ceiling, with seemingly no way of climbing up to it.

'Kitty, please,' She said. 'For the love of Grambi, tell me that non-ghosts can get out of here. PLEASE.'

Polterkitty didn't appreciate the two-step translation but still she explained the floor to Luigi, pausing every now and then so he could relay the message.

'**This room is kinda like an escape room, uh, thing.**' She explained. '**There are three puzzle rooms you have to beat, and once you do sand will fill the room and grant you access to that door up there. The thing is... the traps are made for ghosts, who can't die. Obviously. But since you're both mortals, the traps might...**'

'Well?' Daisy asked, after Luigi finished. 'The traps might what?'

Luigi shrugged. 'She didn't say. I'm guessing the answer is,' He gulped. 'They might kill us.'

The princess shuddered. She glanced at the three doors, dreading what lay behind each one of them.

'Then what are we waiting for?' She said. 'It's either that, starve to death, or get captured by King Boo. If we're gonna die, I want to at least do it on my own terms!'

Luigi managed to smile; her enthusiasm and determination was exactly what he needed to get himself through this. Her apparent willingness to die did disturb him somewhat, though.

'And I think the first room we should try is... that one!' She declared, pointed at the rightmost door. 'For no other reason than it's the closest.'

Luigi looked at that door, and got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The same uneasy feeling he had since the beginning of this adventure. Regardless, he followed the rest of his group through the door and into the first room.

Sand covered the entire floor, aside from four randomly placed platforms that stuck out from the dunes at varying heights. One platform stood in the back corner, holding another Serpci statue in need of an arm-lowering. The 'ceiling' was comprised of a giant steel slab, held up by sturdy chains.

'So if I have this right, I just gotta fix up the arm on the statue. Right?' Daisy asked, to which the Panthergeist nodded. 'Sweet!'

She ran across the sandy floor, over to the statue, without a care in the world despite the feeling of dread she still had. Her gut told her that it was too easy, but she ignored the warnings.

'Wait, Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'Don't-!'

His warning, on the other hand, she bothered to listen to. She stopped running the moment her foot touched the platform, but when the statue sunk into the stone she knew she had reacted too late.

'Uh oh...' She muttered.

At first, everything was quiet. Too quiet, as it were, so much so that both mortals could hear each other's breath from opposite sides of the room. The silence broke when a bronze snake head popped out of each of the other platforms. All three heads turned to the point where one of the chains connected to the wall.

'I don't like where this is going...' Daisy muttered.

Everything hit the fan when the snake heads opened their jaws, revealing three lasers that all aimed directly at the chain. That point of the chain began to glow bright orange as the metal heated up to its melting point.

Daisy laughed like someone had a knife to her neck. 'Those lasers aren't real, right? Right? RIGHT?!'

She was quickly proven wrong when the chain shattered at that point, leaving it to fall limp to the ground. The steel slab above moved down a foot with a heart-stopping thud, stopped just barely by the other chains.

'WHAT THE HELL?!' Daisy shouted, her heart nearly giving up on the spot. 'Are you kidding me right now?!'

Any hope that either may have had that it would be the only chain to break was immediately dashed when the snake heads slowly began to turn their lasers towards another chain.

'M-M-Maybe there's another way- oh...'

Luigi turned around to run back out the door, with his friends in tow, only to see that a stone slab with Serpci's face carved into it had blocked his only way out.

'Uh, m-maybe we should... gah!...'

The lasers already began their work, heating up the next of the few chains holding up their metallic doom. Luigi pounded his head, trying to think up of any sort of solution.

'**Luigi!**' Polterkitty yelled. '**This is part of the puzzle. All you have to do is-**'

Daisy cried out in frustration, and stumbled over to the middle platform. Emphasis on stumble, as her movements were clumsy on the bumpy ground. Caring none for the grains infesting her shoes, she climbed up onto the platform and bashed her fist into the metal snake's forehead.

It didn't shattered, surprisingly, but it closed its jaws and put its laser away. With its purpose served, it disappeared back into the platform like it was never there at all. Daisy muttered many exasperated swears to herself. The only thing that was decent was a bewildered 'that WORKED?!'.

'**Yeah, that.**' Polterkitty said. '**You do that. I'd do one, but breaking the snake heads is considered a foul, and it drops the ceiling immediately.**'

Another chain shattered, scattering its hot metal pieces onto Luigi. He cringed from the hot metal singeing his skin, his clothes just barely creating a thin barrier to prevent anything severe.

'Can ghosts deactivate them?' He asked.

'**Well, considering that this is meant for ghosts,**' Polterpup said. '**I'm going to assume the answer is yes!**'

'N-Not the time boy! I need you to deactivate that one over there!'

He pointed at the laser in the left corner opposite the one with the statue. It was the tallest of the platforms, being taller than Luigi himself. Polterpup gave him a tail salute, and floated over to the snake head. He slammed his entire body onto it, deactivating it and sending it away in seconds.

'You're doing it!'

Now with just one last laser to deactivate, the chains would surely be destroyed far slower. Still, the remaining laser had begun work on the next set of chains.

'I got this!' Daisy declared.

The final platform was tall, but nothing that Daisy couldn't handle. She hoisted herself up on top with barely a sweat, at least compared to the way she was already sweating. With a confident smirk, she bopped it on the head.

Nothing happened. Her heart racing, she bopped it again. And again. And again.

'Why isn't it working?!' She yelled.

Another chain broke, sending the steel ceiling of death one step closer to our mortal heroes.

'P-Polterkitty,' Luigi said, about ready to throw up. 'W-Why won't it work?'

Polterkitty did not want to admit that she had no idea. Initially. Now that she peered at the snake head closer, it was surrounded by a similar energy to the paranormal gates. The difference was that only ghosts could see it.

'You got an answer as to why it won't work yet?!' Daisy demanded, yearning to smash the damn thing.

Neither Luigi nor Polterkitty responded. They were too focused on a ripple in the sand, one that moved around and seemed to be approaching Daisy. The man saw nothing but a slight shift in the sand, but the cat saw a ghost.

'Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'There's a Slinker coming right for you!'

'Great. Can ya help me out with that?'

'Uh, will d-do!'

Luigi set foot onto the sand, following right behind the moving ripple. Yet another chain collapsed, leaving only a few more left. The steel slab was now so down low, it touched the highest tip of Daisy's hair.

'Any time would be nice!' She cried, hearing the Slinker laughing right in her ear.

Luigi wasted no time and flashed the Strobulb, without even waiting for it to charge up.

'Hey!' The Slinker said upon realising he had been stunned. 'Bud, what makes you think that you can-?'

Luigi also wasted no time listening to this Slinker speak, and got to sucking him up straight away. Even on terrain as rough as the sandy dunes, he managed to keep his grip no matter how much the ghost panicked.

Daisy watched him in awe. How in the Underwhere did he manage to do that so well in such awful conditions?

'I'm suing whatever company you work for for this!' The Slinker yelled.

The plumber, more than a little fed up, slammed him into one of the platforms. As he bashed the Slinker's face in, Luigi noticed something about the slams. They came out far quicker, and stronger to boot. No doubt the result of that upgrade.

Thanks to the upgrade, the Slinker had been reduced to cosmic atoms in the Poltergust by the time another chain was broken. Daisy ducked as the ceiling nearly snapped her neck.

'Now, Daisy!'

With all her might, Daisy slammed both her fists into the head of the snake. Whatever power the Slinker had over it was gone, as this time Daisy's bash connected. The snake head closed its jaws, and disappeared.

'Tell me, for the love of JAYDES, that we are done with this room!'

As if to answer her question, horizontal paranormal gates formed just under the ceiling to keep it in place.

Luigi fell to his knees, holding back tears of fear and relief. Daisy resisted doing the same thing, sweating like crazy. Polterpup ran into his owner's arms, which made them both happier.

The Serpci statue from before re-emerged, and without a second's delay Daisy ran over to it and lowered its arm. Its eyes glowed purple, and the stone slab that blocked their way out lifted. Luigi was too exhausted to celebrate, but Daisy wasn't.

'Holy crap, we did it!' She declared. She then added, in a far sadder voice, 'Only two more to go...'

Luigi wiped his brow and turned to the Panthergeist. 'Gattina, please tell me... that was the hardest of the three... please.'

Polterkitty's eyes darted back and forth. '**Well, it's certainly the quickest one.**'

The plumber let out a sound akin to a mix of a sigh, a groan, and a whimper. He wondered if he would get out of this situation alive, let alone in one piece.

'Hey, if we got through this, then the next two will be easy!' Daisy said. 'I-I hope...'

Polterkitty didn't dare tell them that their chances of succeeding were incredibly low. Confidence could be a game-changer, especially in an area as dangerous as Serpci's pyramid.

'And since I don't trust this ceiling to not crush us,' Daisy said, slowly walking backwards towards the door. 'We're moving on right now.'

Once she got her hand on the door handle, she opened it and dashed right on through. She ran through it so quickly that it slammed shut just as quickly as it was opened. By the time Luigi processed the situation, she was already on the other side.

'Ooo-kay? I-I guess we should go then.'

Polterpup yipped, and hopped right through the door to rejoin Daisy. Luigi reached for the door handle, unaware of something awaiting him in the sands.

A rattlesnake stuck its head out of the sand, right behind him. It bared its sharp teeth, and licked the air. Soaking its fangs with its venom, it rattled its tail and pounced. Luigi and Polterkitty spun around, alerted to the rattle. By the time they witnessed the reptile leaping at them, it was too late.

'AHHH!'

Luigi fell to the floor, screaming in pain as the snake sunk its fangs deep into his leg. It pierced through his thick overalls, and began to inject its venom into his bloodstream.

'G-GET OFF ME!'

He flailed his leg around to shake it off, but it only made it dug its teeth in further. Despite it clearly not working, Luigi continued to kick about in a panic.

He felt the weight of his legs suddenly increasing, far quicker than it should have. In fact, every part of his body began to feel heavy. Even his eyes struggled to stay open. He could feel the world getting darker.

In his last moments of full consciousness, he realised the snake was venomous. He chuckled - of all the ways to go down in a haunted hotel, it had to be a regular old snake.

'ROWWWRR!'

Not if Polterkitty had anything to say about it.

The moment she saw the snake chomp his mortal flesh, the cat grabbed it by the neck and dug her teeth in as deep as she could. She didn't dare yank on it, in case it just grabbed on even tighter.

'LUIGI!'

Daisy burst back through the door, and gasped upon seeing her plumber falling unconscious on the ground. As soon as her eyes settled on the snake, she screamed. Polterpup was about ready to rip that snake to shreds, and only stopped himself from doing so because Polterkitty was doing a fine enough job of that herself.

'LUIGI!' Daisy screamed again, falling to her knees.

Luigi looked up at her grief-stricken face. He felt awful staring into those teary eyes, loathing that this would be his final sight.

Then, a far more comforting thought dawned on him. If he could still rationally think, then he wasn't gone yet.

'Daisy?'

'Luigi?!' Her voice came out worn and hoarse. 'Oh no, you are not gonna die on me! HELL no!'

He gave her the strongest smile he could. 'Don't worry. I'm not done yet.'

Polterkitty almost turned the snake into putty in her teeth, but didn't let go until its body stopped shaking. Once she was absolutely certain the snake had stopped moving, she tore its body away from its weakened grip and plopped it onto the sandy floor. Any other snake in the room stayed well away from her.

'Luigi, you better Grambi-damn tell me you're not going to die!'

He reached his arm out and grabbed her hand, already noticing his body didn't seem so heavy anymore.

'It's okay.' He said, breathing harshly. 'I was afraid I would die too.'

Polterpup whimpered, and nudged his owner's cheek with his nose. Luigi used his free hand to give him a quick stroke on the head.

Daisy wiped her tears and looked to Polterkitty. 'Please Kitty, tell me that Luigi will survive.'

With a big grin, the cat nodded. 'Miao-aow!'

'She says that... that snake's venom will make me sluggish for a bit... but if we just relax for a few minutes... I'll be okay.'

Tears threatened to fall from Daisy's face once again, but this time from all the relief slamming into her at once. She knelt down to the floor and rested her head on his chest. His heart-rate was scarily slow, but slowly returning to its usual slightly-above-average pace.

'I don't feel safe in this room.' Daisy said. 'Can we drag him out?'

Polterkitty nodded.

'Alright. Gotta be careful...'

Daisy grabbed him by his underarms, and slowly dragged him out the door. As she did so, Luigi found the world becoming brighter and brighter.

'You know,' He said. 'I should be good to go now.'

'Oh no, my sweet Luigi!' Daisy replied. 'You are resting here until I know you'll be safe.'

He chose not to argue with her, though he felt just fine already. No harm in being sure. And he had to admit, lying there while looking up at Daisy had to be one of the greatest experiences of this 'vacation'.

Both him and Daisy let the moment sink in, knowing well they'd have to go back into uncertain doom afterwards. But for the time being, they could relax.

Lord knows they needed it.

**Author Notes - I'm sure you're wondering why I made Serpci such a big Luigi fan. Notice how her pyramid, in-game, has a couple images of Luigi sprinkled about? Making her a Weegee fan was my explanation for this. As for the in-story reason... you'll have to wait. ****To say the least, I am very proud with how I ended up characterising Serpci.**

**She has what I call the 'Sand Kingdom accent'. Since that kingdom is based on Mexico, and Serpci is based on the Egyptian Cleopatra, said accent can be seen as either Egyptian or Mexican. I personally lean towards the latter, but it's whatever you think it should be.**

* * *

_Serpci loved her father, King Sphynx of the Sand Kingdom. Though he could be a bit of a tyrant to his servants, he treated his daughter like the princess she was. It lead to her being a bit of a spoiled brat as a child._

_Like most spoiled children, she received a heavy dose of reality when she got older. In her case, it happened when King Sphynx was assassinated via a poisoning. Due to being the last remaining member of the Sphynx lineage, Serpci inherited the throne._

_And, though the consequences would only become obvious almost three decades later, forcing someone as young as Serpci to rule an entire kingdom was clearly a bad idea._


	24. A Pyramid Scheme

**Author Notes - I may have passed all three puzzles without dying, but cheese-and-rice did they terrify me.**

**Insert some glorious and victorious fanfare here because Yellow Caterpillar, ArthurLCK, Bullet074 and Beast of the Feast have wonderfully left their favourites/follows! Appreciations go out to the reviews as well.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - A PYRAMID SCHEME**

Hellen Gravely _could_ just mind control her workers to do her bidding, but she found it far more enjoyable to play around with them first.

'Charles. Sam.' She spoke in an overly cheery tone to the Goobs in front of her. 'I know you're my most trusted workers.'

'You say that about everyone.' Charles remarked.

'It means literally nothing.' Sam added.

Hellen chuckled. This pair of Goobs was her favourite to mess around with. Annoying them with menial tasks, forcing them to deal with an angry Amadeus... it was quite the pleasure.

'And it's why I never send you to fight the horrid green man.' She continued like they never said anything. 'So how about you guard my office and be my meat shield- I mean, alert me when he approaches?'

Charles groaned. 'No, no, and _no_. So much nope. You've made our friends suffer too much, and we're done with it.'

'No way in the sweet name of Jaydes are we throwing ourselves into the line of danger just for you!' Sam cried.

Hellen just laughed again. She leaned over her desk, and gave them both a terrifying grin as she pulled out a remote with a big red button.

'Oh really?' She said. 'Let's see what little _Lou_ has to say about it.'

The moment both their jaws fell got her every time. She could sense the exact point that she had grabbed them.

'You. Wouldn't. _Dare_.' Sam said, glaring directly into her eyes.

'You don't even know where our son is!' Charles said, unsure if it was really true.

'Don't I?' Hellen said with a wink. 'How can you be so sure? I have cameras everywhere, you know. How do you know that I haven't strapped an electroshock collar to him, ready to shock him at any given moment?'

She swam in that fantastic sensation, adoring the very thought of putting them through this. What a perfect way to make them submissive.

Charles, for once, had no idea what to do or even say. Part of him desired to run up to Hellen and punch her in the jaw, but he knew that was a one way ticket to hell. With nothing else to turn to, he looked to his wife. Sam was not at all used to having pressure like this placed on her, but she already had made up her mind.

With a sigh, she answered. 'Alright Boss. We'll do it.'

'Wonderful! And while you're at it, find a particular cowardly Goob by the name of Grace. She was... part of Chambrea's trio of assistants, I believe. I heard she ran away from battle without a care. That requires proper retribution.'

* * *

Luigi's few minutes of rest were definitely over now. As tempting as it was for all four members of the party to just relax, they knew they had a job to do. Getting back onto his feet was difficult. He felt like he was on a rollercoaster loop as Daisy lifted him up.

'Are you okay there?' She asked as she got him standing up somewhat straight.

'No, this is Luigi. I'm not an okay there...'

She giggled, though she was seriously worried about him if that was his response.

'I repeat, are you okay there?'

'Uh, I... yes! I am okay.'

With him semi-stable on his feet, Daisy knelt down and took a closer look at his snake bite. There was still a little bit of blood trickling down, but otherwise the wound had clotted. Still, didn't look any less painful.

'I really hope that doesn't get infected...' She muttered. 'And I thought _my_ injury was bad.'

'Really? Compared to what happened to you, this is nothing.'

'At least Polterkitty's claws aren't laden with venom! Do you wanna sit the next puzzle out? I wouldn't blame you.'

'I can't. We have to solve these puzzles together if we have any hope of getting out of here with our lives.'

Daisy was in no position to argue, even though she really wanted to.

'Alright.' She said. 'But the moment you feel dizzy, or nauseous, or faint, or anything like that, let me know immediately. I wanna be safe, just in case that venom turns out to be the kind that comes back later.'

'I promise. Which door are we going through next?'

Daisy flinched, just slightly. She couldn't fathom why Luigi decided that this was her choice.

'Um... that one, I guess.' She pointed to the door on the other side of the room. 'If both doors have a high chance of killing us, then it doesn't really matter which one we pick, does it?'

'I... guess not.'

'Right. Let's get it out of the way as soon as possible.'

As they passed the pit on the way to the next room, Luigi noticed something a little different. What was just a hole now had a purple-headed stone snake, wrapping its body around like a spiral.

'**Luigi...**' Polterkitty said.

The man didn't even flinch. 'Hmm?'

'**You know how I said that your snake bite wasn't lethal? I really meant _that one_ bite. If I didn't get the snake off when I did, you would probably be dead right now.**'

Luigi went pale. 'Uh... thanks for telling me that. I-I guess.' He made the mental note to teach her about sometimes needing to withdraw information later.

The second puzzle room had the same sandy stones lining the walls, but otherwise looked totally different to the last. Vases and little golden statues of the Sphynx decorated the sides of the room, practically framing the thing of real interest.

A white square platform lay in the very centre of the room, making up most of the floor. Golden monuments of cobras marked its corners. In front of that was a series of panels, placed in a rainbow shape, on the wall. Each panel had a symbol resembling an animal, from lightest to heaviest - mouse, human, deer, lion, crocodile, camel, rhino, and elephant.

Polterpup approached a blinking light underneath the panels. It glowed a bright green, indicating it was susceptible to the Strobulb. Right above the light was a circular panel, depicting another crocodile. A pointer lay on the floor to the left.

'Hey Luigi,' Daisy said. 'Maybe you should try flashing that light.'

'Uh... let's make sure it isn't a trap that will kill us first.'

'Yeah, that'd be a good idea.'

Not wanting to step forward in case they activated any traps, our heroes waited for Polterkitty to give her explanation.

'According to Polterkitty,' Luigi said. 'This is a scale. We need to place things on that weight in the middle, so it weighs enough to match the symbol it wants.'

Daisy put her hand on her chin. 'Mm, good. Now in English.'

Luigi approached the square scale, and peered at the panels. It seemed clear enough to him.

'I think I've got this.' He said.

'Good. Just, please, be careful.'

The one problem he had was that he had no way of really knowing what he needed to put on the scale. His eyes fell upon one of the few Sphynx statues laying around. With no other ideas, he used his Poltergust to pick it up, and immediately felt his arms getting sore. He forgot just how heavy gold was.

'Be careful!'

'I am being careful.'

'Okay, good. Just checking.'

He dropped the statue onto the plate, and made sure he himself was not standing on it. Seeing no other way to activate the scale, he used his Strobulb on the blinking light. The whole time, Polterkitty couldn't stop shaking. The platform lowered, and the pointer creakily moved from pointing at nothing to landing on the human. That panel spun around, revealing a red X on the other side.

'So the statues weight two... somethings. So maybe if I-'

'MROOOW!'

Polterkitty leapt from her spot and headbutted Luigi in the chest. He stumbled back, alarmed as to why she would do such a thing. Right before Daisy screamed at her, a pot fell from the ceiling and smashed on the floor. Right where Luigi was just standing. He gulped, and rubbed his head though he sustained no injuries.

'Oh come on!' Daisy yelled. 'You can't even take the time to guess-and-check?!'

Luigi stroked the underside of Polterkitty's neck. 'Thanks for that, Gattina.'

'**That's what happens for every wrong guess.**' Polterkitty explained. '**I'm not even sure where the pots come from, but I think they can do a lot of damage to mortals.**'

'**If I didn't know any better,**' Polterpup remarked. '**I'd almost think this was devised to kill mortals or something.**'

Polterkitty laughed nervously, more-or-less confirming his statement. He gave her a simple 'you gotta be kidding me' look.

'Okay, so let's not get this wrong.' Luigi said. 'So one statue got it to the human. Thus, two statues would move the pointer thing to the lion.' He scratched his head. 'But another would force it to skip the crocodile and go straight for the cow-'

'That's not a cow, Sweetie. That's a _camel_.'

'Camel, right. Which isn't quite what we want.'

Regardless, he picked up another gold statue and practically dragged it along the floor and onto the platform. Now he didn't know where to go from there.

'Hang on!' Daisy cried. 'I have an idea!'

As usual, she placed doubts on her idea, but it wasn't like they had any others real options. She leapt onto the platform and struck the landing, feeling it move slightly under her feet.

'I shouldn't weigh quite as much as those gold things.' She said. 'So maybe this'll work. Maybe?'

Luigi strummed his fingers against the flashlight. 'Um, you sure? I-I mean, I'm sure you're right, but what if something goes wrong and you get hurt?'

Daisy laughed. 'I'll be fine. I can take a pot to the head.'

'Alright, if you insist.'

He gave the light another flash, and this time the combined weight of Daisy and the statues moved the pointer to the desired location - the crocodile. That panel spun around, this time revealing a green circle.

'**L-Luigi,**' Polterkitty said. '**Maybe you should-**'

'Alright, we did it!' Daisy yelled. 'Now where's the statue thingy we gotta fix?'

Everyone in the party jumped when another stone slab dropped down in front of the door and blocked the way out. The circular panel shifted to depict the deer instead.

'That's not good...' Luigi muttered.

'That's fine.' Daisy said. 'All we gotta do is-'

She got interrupted by the sound of heavy gears shifting for the first time in years. Dust fell from the ceiling. Luigi looked up to the roof, and his pupils shrunk to the size of peas.

'Luigi,' Daisy said, beginning to shake at the knees. 'Do I even want to know?'

'Uh... l-let's just say that we'll need to solve the puzzles really quickly.'

Daisy dared to look up, and nearly screamed. The ceiling was covered in small but pointy spikes, and it slowly but surely began to close in on them.

'Oh, let me guess.' Daisy said. 'If we fail to complete this room in time, that ceiling crushes us into paste. Wonderful!'

'Um, w-we just need to solve the puzzles, and we'll be-'

He got a horrible shiver going down his spine. Something was about to make their life so much harder; he could sense it somehow.

'Harry see mortals try to foil trap. Harry show that MORTALS DO NOT WIN!'

Luigi spun around with a yelp, and witnessed a Hammer pull himself out the floor, like a crocodile emerging from the swamp, and bash his chest with his open palms.

'HARRY STOP MORTALS!'

'P-Please Harry,' Luigi stammered, holding up his free hand. 'I-I don't have time for-'

'HARRY SMASH!'

The Hammer, known as Harry, whacked Luigi in the chest with the back of his massive hand. The plumber fell backward and yelped in pain as he slammed into the floor. Polterpup, without a second's delay, hopped between his owner and the big red ghost, growling and snarling.

Luigi's eyes darted to the scale and the statues laying on it, and then to the panels. The deer was only two steps down from the crocodile, making the solution clear. Not that he could think with the Hammer after him.

'Daisy! I need you to-'

'Already on it!'

Daisy leapt from the platform and landed in front of Harry. She gave him a mischievous little smirk, and even spun around to shake her rear at him. Such a sight made Luigi blush.

'Your mother was a brick!' She joked. 'And your father smelled of dried mushrooms!'

Harry gritted his teeth. 'MORTAL NO INSULT HARRY'S FAMILY!'

Daisy ran away from Luigi as the Hammer charged after her with his hand in front of his face. He plopped his entire head onto the floor, just barely missing her. Polterpup ran after the red ghost, growling and barking like mad.

'**I don't understand.**' Polterkitty said. '**There shouldn't be any ghosts here.**'

'I-I don't really think that matters right now, Gattina.' Luigi said, getting to his feet. 'Let's-a worry about the spikes first.'

While Daisy and Polterpup distracted the Hammer, Luigi ran over to the scale and picked up one of the statues with his Poltergust. He grunted and groaned as he tried to carry the golden weight away.

'Why is gold so heavy...?'

Suddenly, he found the weight a lot less heavy. Polterkitty had lifted it up into her mouth, making carrying it so much easier.

'Oh, thanks Gattina!'

With her help, he managed to carry the statue and place it on the floor out of the scale's way. For a second he worried about not having Daisy, before he quickly realised that his own body could suffice.

'How many of these do we have to solve?' He asked.

'**If they haven't gone and changed it for some stupid reason, it should be three.**' Polterkitty answered.

Luigi wiped his brow and sighed.

Daisy grabbed the two tails of the Hammer and slammed him into the ground. Sand scattered with each bash. She succeeded in slamming him twice, and then three times, and would've nailed the fourth attempt had someone not thrown a rotten tomato at the back of her head. It made her let go.

She wiped the mush off her head. 'Alright, who's the twit who hit me?'

She turned around, and saw a Mini-Oozer sticking her head out of a vase. The little ghost giggled like a young girl.

'Hehe! Flower lady angry!'

Daisy gritted her teeth. 'You bet I'm angry, you annoying pile of ectoplasm!'

She regretted saying such words when the very-young ghost began to cry. She regretted it even more when Harry pounded his chest again while shouting nonsense in anger.

'PRINCESS INSULT HARRY'S DAUGHTER! HARRY TEACH PRINCESS LESSON!'

'Oh, that little Oozer is your _daughter_! Uh... whoops?'

Luigi gave the Strobulb light another flash with him standing on the scale with the singular statue, and the pointer moved to the deer. After this was counted as correct, the circular picture changed again. This time, it was the elephant, all the way at the end of the scale.

He looked up at the ceiling, and nearly screamed. It seemed a lot closer than it was before, and showed no sign of slowing down.

'So, um, three statues would get us to the rhino.' Luigi said. 'And with my extra weight, that should work! Polterkitty, help me move the statues onto the scale.'

Polterkitty nodded, and ran across the room to pick up the third one. The metal bent slightly in her teeth. Luigi lifted up the same one he had moved before, and though they were different distances away both returned at the same time to drop the weights off. Getting himself into position, he flashed the light.

'This should be enough...' He muttered.

The needle moved all the way to the rhino at full speed, and kept inching forward. With each millimetre of progress, it slowed down considerably. It came to a stop, just barely touching the edge of the elephant.

The rhino panel flipped over, revealing a bright red X.

'What?!' Luigi cried. 'That should've worked!'

The ceiling dropped down by several feet in just a second, before resuming its regular pace. At the height it was at, even Wario's jump could reach it.

'Why didn't that work?' Luigi asked.

'**Someone must've rigged the thing!**' Polterkitty said. '**We'll need to add something extra.**'

'Like what? There's no statues left, Daisy's distracted, and I-'

He gasped as an idea came to him. He deployed Gooigi in an instant.

Daisy finally got a grip on the Hammer's tails again and bashed him into submission the very moment she could, not allowing the guilt she felt for his daughter stop her.

'Flower lady hurt Daddy! Flower lady mean!'

On the seventh slam, Daisy managed to break away the ghost into red particles that travelled elsewhere to reform hours later. She fell to her knees and sighed. Polterpup nudged her arm, and she reciprocated the gesture.

'I can't take much more of this... Luigi, how are you going?'

She hadn't quite expected to see both Luigi and Gooigi on the scale, or the gooey man flashing his own green Strobulb to activate the light. The pointer shot straight to the elephant, and just barely didn't pass it. The panel flipped over, and showed the green circle that lay behind it.

'Is that it?' Daisy asked.

The ceiling stopped moving, and even raised itself back up again. One by one, all the panels spun around to make a 'rainbow' of green circles.

'Is that it?' Daisy repeated.

The circular elephant panel cycled over to a blank one, and the Serpci statue rose from the ground right in front of it. The sight of it boosted Luigi's mood so much that he ended up back in his regular body. Stumbling, he ran over and fixed up the statue without even saying a word. The eyes glowed red, indicating another successful puzzle solve. He nearly collapsed from the relief.

'Flower lady hurt Daddy!'

'Oh, would ya shut up?!'

Luigi turned around just in time to bear witness to Daisy yanking the Mini-Oozer out of the vase, and slamming her into the floor. The young ghost's particles broke apart like a dropped piece of glass.

'Uh...'

'Look, right now is not the time for any children to be making our lives harder than they already are! And anyway, that was the best thing I could've done. Now she gets to rejoin her father.'

Luigi had an uneasy feeling in the pit of stomach. He had already worried about these ghosts being the souls of the deceased, and now the revelation that there were actual families made that feeling much worse. Especially since Harry and his daughter were not the same type of ghost.

'Okay, so just one more room to go, right?' Daisy asked. 'For the love of all that is sweet and holy in this world, tell me there's just one more to go!'

Polterkitty nodded, but not with any sort of enthusiasm. When she first put her little plan into action, she had assumed that luring the mortals to their doom in the pyramid would be fun. Now, the thought made her feel ill.

'Actually, ya know what?' Daisy continued. 'How about you just carry us up to the exit door right now?'

Polterkitty shook her head. 'Miaooow.'

'No can do, Daisy. She says that if a ghost floats up to that door early, it gets counted as a foul. This will cause, as Polterkitty just worded it, hell itself to rain down upon you.'

'Oh, lovely. Well, no time like the present.'

They left that room and wanted to head to the hopefully-final puzzle, but the moment the last member of the team - Polterkitty - got her tails through, paranormal gates appeared and blocked all the doors. Including the one they couldn't even reach yet, just to mock them.

'Oh goodie!' Daisy yelled. 'It's always a great time when those forsaken gates appear!'

Luigi and Polterpup looked around the room, but not even the ghostly dog could see any ghosts in that massive chamber. He could, however, easily identify the ectoplasmic scents.

'L-Let's not panic yet.' Luigi said.

'Panic? Please. I don't-'

Someone banged against the door of a nearby coffin from the inside, like a poor man had been trapped in there for centuries.

'EEP!'

'WAH!'

A fist burst through the wood and stone, a fist wrapped up in musty white cloth. The being inside the coffin smashed the lid to pieces, revealing itself to be a mummy taller than even Daisy. Only its glowing white eyes could be seen through the cloth, and they stared directly at our heroes.

The mummy moaned as it sauntered after our heroes with its arms out like a zombie. Luigi and Daisy backed away from the desiccated creature.

'Uh, Kitty,' Daisy said. 'Where on that puzzle list is a mummy attack?'

Polterkitty stared at her, then shrugged. Both Luigi and Daisy wanted to be happy that there was only one, but both knew it was too good to be true. Unsurprisingly, more were on the way. One from another nearby sarcophagus and two more from the other side of the room burst out of their prisons, and all four made haste towards the contestants.

Daisy could hear her heart, it was beating so fast. The mummies may have been making slow progress, but without nowhere to run it didn't matter how much faster she ran. Every time the Last Resort gave her another way to die, her chance of surviving seemed to get lower.

'Luigi, do you have any idea how to deal with mummies?!'

In contrast to her imminent nervous breakdown, Luigi was much calmer. Relatively speaking of course - the advancing undead monsters would never be good for his heart. He would've panicked much more had it not been for his experience with mummies in the Old Clockworks, back in Evershade Valley.

Polterpup snorted. '**Shocker. I can't smell a single dehydrated organ, but I definitely smell a Goob or four.**'

'Right. That's what I thought.' Luigi said. 'Things are easier when they repeat. Alright Daisy, all we have to do is- uh, Daisy?'

She was not by his side, like he expected, but instead already halfway to dashing to the next door even though it was still blocked. She jumped to the side as one of the mummies swiped at her, emitting a fairly-high-pitched sound in the process.

Luigi blinked a couple times to make sure he was seeing this correctly. 'Uh, Daisy? What on Earth are you doing?'

She laughed nervously. 'I just, uh, think it's a good idea to at least _try_ opening the doors.'

Even though he thought she sounded like she had no idea what she was even saying, Luigi considered that a decent idea. Albeit, only because they had Polterkitty with them.

'Ooo-kay then. Gattina, maybe you could-'

'Oh no...' Daisy muttered, coming to a dead stop.

'Oh no?' Luigi repeated, before groaning. 'What have you done?'

'I... think I stepped on another trap.'

The palm of the giant Serpci statue moved up, only a few feet, before it slammed back down into position. Grains of sand and dust trickled down to the floor, and for a moment the chamber fell into silence - aside from the mummy groaning. The snake figure on the left of the final door unhinged its mouth, just enough to allow the boulder trapped behind its teeth to roll out.

And head right for Daisy. The Boo face carved into it practically laughed at her as it zoomed towards her, threatening to turn her into a pancake.

'OH SWEET LUVBI!'

Daisy, like any person should, did not run directly in front of the boulder but instead jumped to the side. The pain of her hands and knees hitting the stony floor could not compare to whatever that boulder would've put her through. Polterkitty grabbed Luigi by his overalls and dragged him away from the rolling rock's path. The route it travelled on seemed to have been travelled on many times judging by the cracks in the floor, and Luigi could've sworn he saw dried blood on it.

Before Daisy could even get to her feet again, the boulder smacked into one of the mummies as it followed its path and circled around the pit. The undead being spun around in place, like it was stuck on a high-speed vinyl. As it did a twirl on the spot, the cloth wrapped around it began to unravel. The bandages fell to the floor, and in the place of the mummy floated a very sheepish-looking Goob. He continued to hold his arms out, despite being totally aware that his disguise had fallen down.

'Uh... boo?' He said.

While the boulder finished its lap and returned to the snake statue, Luigi flashed and made quick work of that Goob, so quick that you'd barely notice it was there at all.

Daisy's mouth was agape. 'You telling me these mummies are just a bunch of Goobs?!'

She leapt to her feet and grabbed the wrist of the closest mummy, without any hesitation. Giving the ghost inside no time to react, she yanked on a loose bit of cloth and sent the creature spinning out of control. Like the one before, the rags fell away and revealed nothing more than a regular old Goob. And she looked more than a little peeved at her friends that the plan did not work.

'Ya morons told me this plan would work!' She yelled. 'No wonder Ms Gravely calls the lot of us useless.'

Daisy, in a small fit of rage, grabbed the Goob's tail and bashed her into oblivion.

'Who's next!'

The other two 'mummies' stopped in their tracks, and looked at each other for a brief moment. Emphasis on 'brief', as it took no time at all for Polterpup to unravel another one while Polterkitty just ripped the cloth of the last one to shreds. These remaining Goobs, now exposed, had more foresight than the last two and phased through the floor. Their strength sustaining the paranormal gates vanished, and with that so did the gates themselves.

Daisy wiped her brow. 'Getting eaten by mummified ghosts was not particularly high on my vacation bucket list. Then again, literally _nothing_ that's happened here is on that list. The only thing good about this entire trip was my period conveniently ending the day _before_ this whole fiasco started!'

Luigi winced a little, considering that to be just a little too much information. Regardless, they headed for the third and final puzzle.

* * *

Lou was a Mini-Hammer, physically eight years old when he succumbed to Hellen Gravely's hotel trap. With Ms Gravely constantly giving orders to his parents, Lou had lost track of Charles and Samantha the same day this whole mess started. Like his parents, he couldn't even remember his mortal life anymore, aside from memories of memories. Despite being only eight, he was well aware that Hellen only saw him as blackmail bait for his parents. So, he was always on the run.

As much as he loved the workers, he couldn't let any of the Grand Ghosts see him, lest they be mind-controlled and thus hand him over to the boss. Such was the afterlife of the son of Charles and Sam. Constantly fleeing and staying out of sight, or being used as bait.

Currently, he sought refuge on the eleventh floor. He resided in the most normal-looking room on that floor - one of the bathrooms, this one only weird by the faded painting of a dice-shaped gem hanging on the wall. That floor was a horrifying mess to most, but a magical heaven for all the young ghosts.

'Hi Louie!'

Lou yelped, a feeling of dread taking over. He screwed up - big time. He turned around to the sight of a twelve-year-old ghost girl, dressed up like a magician, greeting him with a big smile.

'What are you doing here, you little cutie?'

Judging by the long pigtails, it was Lindsey. She herself wasn't a problem, but the fact was that where Lindsey was, her older sisters were certain to follow.

'Where the bloody hell are you?' The middle child's annoyed voice asked from the other side of the door. 'Oh bollocks, have I lost you _again_?'

Lou gulped. That was Ginny. Now he was really boned. Though Lindsey could sometimes resist the mind games, Ginny certainly could not.

* * *

The final room, initially at least, seemed like a closet compared to the others. It was just as tall as the last two, but much smaller when it came to its floor area. And much more plain too. Just a few knocked-over vases and piles of sand. One thing, however, stood out in the otherwise boring room - a green, circled-shaped hole carved into the front wall. No way it was like that naturally.

'That circle hole thing does something.' Daisy said, resting her chin in her hand. 'But what?'

Polterkitty nosed through the sand, pushing away the yellowy grains until she unearthed a strange object beneath. It was a sphere, made mostly of a clear plastic. Its 'poles' and 'equator', and the inside plastic connecting them, were green instead. Luigi noted the similarities in shape and colour between the ball and the hole. They had to be connected somehow.

'And that circle ball thing does something too.' The princess continued.

'Do you think they're connected?' Luigi asked.

Polterkitty nodded, which was all the confirmation that Daisy needed. She grabbed the plastic ball and held it up to the spherical carving. It seemed like the perfect fit.

'OH, Luigi!' Daisy said. 'Your brilliant mind shines through for us once again! And I bet that if I slot the ball thing in here...'

She did just that, hopping a bit to reach the hole. The ball slid into place as smoothly as a slippery slide covered in butter, and signified itself being locked by its green plastic glowing. Daisy had hoped that was the end of it, but that little hope was to be crushed when it turned out that it obviously had more to go. The front wall shook about slightly, and then lowered into the floor like a reverse castle gate. Luigi sneezed from the scattering grains of sand in the air.

Behind the open wall was a much bigger room, about the size of the last two. Even from where they were standing, the team could see the wall in front of them had a carving depicting a boat in a rare Sand Kingdom river approaching a pyramid. This carving too had holes, two like the green circles before but also including two red squares and two yellow triangles. The floor was covered in sand, but a chest and a knocked-over sarcophagus could still be seen. In other words, this room was a treasure hunt.

'Looks too easy.' Daisy said, crossing her arms. 'Aight Kitty, what's the catch this time? More mummies? More spikes? Does a giant Sandbelching Meerslug pop out and eat us?'

That last option got her weird looks from the other members of her group.

'What? Have _none_ of you played Pikmin before? Did you think that Captain Olimar, unlike literally the whole rest of us, _didn't_ have any video games based on his exploits? I've nearly managed to beat Pikmin 3 in the minimal amount of days for Rosalina's sake!'

Though Luigi and Polterpup knew what she was talking about, Polterkitty didn't have a clue.

'**Uh, I don't know who Captain Olimar is,**' She said. '**But I _do_ know that you need to hold your breath. The moment you step into that room, it'll fill up with poisonous gas.**'

'Poisonous gas?!' Luigi yelled.

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Excuse me, she said _what_?'

Polterkitty nodded. '**It's meant to make ghosts woozy and hazy, making the puzzle harder to solve. It also carries the side-effect of killing mortals if they inhale too much.**'

Polterpup looked very not-surprised. '**Oh golly gee. The trap also kills living people? Who woulda thunk it?**'

Luigi stared into the next room with wide eyes, still listening to the panther though visually searching for the plastic objects. He couldn't see a single one.

'**Breathing it in won't kill you instantly,**' Polterkitty continued. '**So if you just inhale a little bit, you should be fine if the puzzle is solved quick enough. Still, hold your breath.**'

Daisy breathed in through her nose, and out through her mouth. 'Alright. We'll fan out and look for those shape things. Luigi and I can hold our breaths for a while, so we'll be good to go for a few minutes. Are we all ready?'

Everyone else nodded, in almost perfect sync.

'Good. Let's go.'

The quartet stepped into the bigger room together, and right on cue a stone slab appeared and blocked the exit door.

'Oh goody...' Daisy muttered.

With the room now sealed tight, a thick purple fog began to leak out of all six holes. Luigi and Daisy took in a deep breath as the gas filled the room within seconds. It made their eyes sting just a little. Polterpup and Polterkitty wobbled about, the strange fog quickly making them feel hazy.

'**What did they put in this stuff?**' Polterpup asked, slurring slightly. '**Some kind of ghost alcohol or something?**'

'**Beats me.**' Polterkitty said. '**But let's not worry about that now. Let's focus on solving this puzzle before the mortals run out of air.**'

Hardly able to keep walking straight, the Polterpets made their way to the opposite corners of the room. The cat cursed that the placement of the key objects was randomised every time. Luigi and Daisy looked at each other, gave the other mortal a nod, and split up to look around.

Polterkitty stuck her massive face into the sand, digging through the grains until she came across a solid object. Almost all of it was just sand: little irritating particles that did nothing but make her sneeze. Almost. It didn't take long for her to find the first one - a red square, tucked all the way into the far left corner. She picked it up with her mouth, and didn't even need to jump to slot it into place. Its red corners glowed, and gas ceased to pour out through that hole.

She looked over to the mortals. Daisy swept the sand away with her foot, while Luigi instead vacuumed up large chucks of it at a time. With how much quicker he could work, it wasn't too surprising that Luigi found the second object. This one was a yellow triangular pyramid, buried underneath some remains of a shattered vase. All while holding his breath, he sucked the plastic pyramid into his Poltergust and fired it at the closest of the two triangle holes. Just like before, it locked into place and glowed.

'**Once we... plug all the holes...**' Polterkitty explained, getting dizzy. '**Then this gas... will disappear...**'

Luigi gave her a thumbs up, more than a little concerned about how much she teetered around like she was either drunk or tired. Not that Polterpup was faring much better.

'**Ooh...**' He groaned. '**I feel like I've got a killer hangover...**'

'**Yeah.**' Polterkitty said, struggling to stay on her paws. '**It does that to you. Would you believe it if I told you that some ghosts come here just to get wasted?**'

'**I'm surprised I'm surprised.**'

With the thick fog in the air rendering Polterpup's sense of smell useless, he felt lost. Still, he dug through the sand to the best of his ability, which wasn't very high thanks to the gas weakening his paws. His tail perked. Through his hazy vision he could see the green sphere he had just uncovered. Hoisting it into his mouth, he chucked it at where he thought its appropriate hole was. Due to his foggy vision, the sphere just barely missed the hole and clanked off the wall. Daisy picked it up from the floor, and put it into its proper place for him.

'**Thanks, Master's Girlfriend!**' He said, even though he knew she couldn't understand him.

Daisy gave him a wink, as if to say 'you're welcome!'.

Polterkitty smiled. '**We're already... halfway there! Just three more... to go...**'

Luigi wanted to sigh in relief, but didn't for the obvious reasons. Considering that his powerful lungs didn't even feel close to collapsing filled him with the belief that they would indeed succeed. His eyes fell upon the sarcophagus. It was shut, but looked easy to open. Figuring that one of the shapes had to be hidden in there, he pried the lid open. He smiled. There was the second red cube right there! He reached in to grab it, but something stopped him.

A horrible stinging sensation pierced his sinuses.

His eyes widened. Only now did he realise that by opening the coffin, he had sent more dust flying into the air. And that same dust was now clouding around his face. He backed away and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight against his own body.

_Not now... any time but now!_

Daisy opened the chest with little struggling, and nearly cheered at the sight of another yellow pyramid. She took it out and turned around to show Luigi, but when she saw him it fell out of her hands and to the floor.

Everyone stopped. Dead.

Luigi's whole body began to jerk. His eyes watered, and he could hardly keep them open. The stinging only got worse with each passing second. Daisy could feel her heart skip a beat. The worse part? She knew there was nothing she could do.

'**_AAHHH-CHOOOO!_**'

Luigi's sneeze must've echoed in the quiet room a thousand times, absolutely shattering the awful silence. No one could dare to move a muscle. The silence returned, but just for a moment.

Suddenly, Luigi began to cough. Hard. He hacked. He croaked. He gasped. He wheezed. The horrible gas flooded his lungs and constricted his throat.

Daisy almost screamed.

'MROOOWWW!' Polterkitty screeched.

The yowl snapped her back into reality. She slapped herself across the cheek, and tossed the yellow pyramid into its slot like she was trying to win a gold medal. It fell into place, almost as if she demanded it to.

Luigi's coughing only got worse, and he collapsed to his hands and knees.

'**Hurry Polterpup!**' Polterkitty cried. '**We have to find the other jewels now, or your Master could die!**'

Polterpup was already searching for the next one. '**You think I'd do anything else right now?!**'

Daisy, with all her might, ignored her plumber choking on the floor and rushed over to the coffin. Her heart calmed down only slightly when she saw the cube inside. With the red jewel in hand, she scanned around for its place. For a moment, she couldn't see it. A bloodcurdling scream threatened to escape from her throat. The very second she got the red hole in her sights, she ran over and slammed the cube in. Had it not been for her gloves, it would've slipped out of her sweaty palms.

She took a quick moment to count how many jewels they had left; a difficult task with Luigi's harsh coughing surging her eardrums. They had only one left to find - the second green sphere.

'ROWWW-EOWWW!' Polterkitty yowled.

The haziness fogging up her mind became too much for the Panthergeist to handle, and she collapsed to the floor. Polterpup did not last much longer. Daisy nearly cried out in joy when she saw what rested at Polterkitty's paws.

The green jewel!

Polterkitty nudged it forward with her nose, unable to do much more. She belted out another pained yowl. Daisy could thank her later. She flashed one more glance to Luigi. He looked no better than before.

'I'm... alright!' He gasped, in between coughs. 'I... promise!'

As the last member standing, Daisy took her responsibility. Even though the last hole was the highest of them all, no jump would be too big for her at that moment. She leapt into the air, and slammed that jewel in.

She hadn't planned her landing, though the sand cushioned her fall. All she cared about was solving the puzzle. If that didn't work, she'd punch a hole straight through the wall.

The jewel glowed. With all the holes plugged up, the poisonous gas ceased to seep through. The snake statues in the side walls opened their mouths, and the fog slowly but surely began to leak out. The wall in front split down the middle, and the two halves moved away to reveal the third and final Serpci statue.

Daisy released her breath. 'OH THANK GRAMBI!'

'Daisy?'

She gasped, and spun around. Luigi breathed heavily, like his lungs were grasping onto any fresh air that they could, and though his arms shook and struggled to hold his weight he could hold his head up and look into her eyes.

The princess nearly fainted. 'Holy sh... Luigi? Sweetie? You okay?'

He responded by coughing, which to most would be a definitive 'no', except it was nowhere near as violent as his coughing before. No more just barely clinging to life. Just a simple recovery.

'We sure? Absolutely fine?'

Luigi nodded. 'Yeah. J-Just give me a bit...'

Daisy sighed. 'Geez.' She murmured. 'Talk about an ill-timed sneeze...'

'Eh, I've had worse timing before.' He cringed as he remembered that Mammoshka incident.

Before even thinking about fixing up the statue's arm, she watched Luigi just a little bit longer. His coughs appeared to be slowing down, and seemed to be caused more by the sand than the gas.

'Is everyone okay?' Daisy called.

Polterpup jumped to his paws and yipped excitedly. The sight of his master was all needed to feel better. Polterkitty, meanwhile, continued to lie down. She wouldn't get up until she was certain she could.

'Okay. Good.' Daisy said. 'We're all alright.'

'Uh, physically, at least.' Luigi added. 'I'm not sure about emotionally.'

'Can't argue with that.'

Daisy stood up, and lowered the statue's arm into place. The eyes glowed blue, signifying another puzzle successfully solved.

She fist-pumped the air. 'Oh yeah! Suck it, Serpci!'

'Really, Daisy?' Luigi remarked. '_Really_?'

'Just let me have this one moment. I know we're definitely not done yet, but I just wanna tell Serpci that she can go get f-'

'Daisy!'

* * *

'GET OUT OF MY HEAD, BOSS!'

Out of all the ghosts, Serpci was one of the best at resisting the mind powers. Unfortunately, whether you were Amadeus or Kruller, you were never safe.

The others were lucky. Once they were unable control, they couldn't think of anything else. But Serpci could. It was like her mind was trapped in a cage, unable to affect the outer world that was her own body.

'You need to stop this!'

The pharaoh ghost leaned up against her Luigi wall, bashing her fist into the stone foundation.

_But why, Serpci? I thought you loved Luigi!_

'Of course I do! I adore him. But not like this. Let me let him go!'

_Look at you. Acting like your typical scaredy-cat self. Pathetic. Luigi will never like you if you act like this all the time._

Serpci, against her own desires, wept. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, her boss's words got to her.

'I-I know. Luigi would never like a coward like me. He's too courageous. I... I took the coward's way out. H-He's better than that.'

_All too true, sweetie. And that's why I'm here. Don't you notice that confidence swells within you whenever I take over? It's almost as if I help you, Serpci!_

'Y-Yes. I-I understand.'

The pharaoh hated herself for her pitiful timidity. Even if she could easily stand up to her boss, she was never brave enough to fight. Nor was she at all confident enough to disagree with a word Ms Gravely said.

'I-I see, Boss. I need you. Without you, I'd never be brave enough for Luigi to like me. Please, Hellen. Help me.'

_That's right, Serpci. I'll make you brave and courageous. I'll help you through this most difficult time._

'Y-Yes, Ms Gravely.'

At least with her boss around, the queen wouldn't be so contemptible.

* * *

Just like Polterkitty promised, the hole that led to the pit was now closed off, thanks to three spiralling snake heads. When everyone got back into the central chamber, a massive amount of sand bucketed down from the hole above, piling up quickly.

'Where on Earth is that sand coming from?' Daisy questioned, watching it pool up on the floor.

The Panthergeist shrugged. Whatever it was, Serpci's ghost magic probably had something to do with it.

'**Be careful.**' Polterkitty warned. '**This room fills up quickly.**'

'I'll say.' Luigi said, shaking the grains off his shoes. 'I'm not complaining. The sooner we get out of here, the better.'

The mortals had to walk constantly, not too fast but just to make sure they kept their feet above the piling sand. For once, it felt like they could actually rest for a moment. Polterpup rolled around in the sand, and swam through it like a dolphin through water.

'**There's just one thing I don't understand.**' Polterkitty said. '**Why were there ghost attacks? That isn't part of the puzzles... especially no mummy ghosts.**'

'I'm not surprised.' Luigi remarked. 'Your owner seems crazy desperate to get me.'

'Is she crazy desperate to get _me_?' Daisy asked.

Polterkitty meowed.

'Huh.' Luigi said. 'Apparently, Ms Gravely hasn't mentioned you at all, and neither has King Boo. Aside from Ms Gravely possibly saying she wants you disposed off.'

'So in other words, she either doesn't know I exist or wants me very, very dead. Yippee...'

Polterkitty knew they had plenty of time to relax before the final deadly trap, and so she spent the time thinking. About what? Just about everything.

The thoughts of Master loomed over her, constantly. She could feel Master's glare looking down on her every second, watching her every move. No matter what she did, she felt as though Master did not approve. Master never approved of anything anymore, it seemed. The very thought of that Gheistpaint alone made Polterkitty sneeze, and she could still feel the scratches on her back. Those joyous times of decades ago seemed like they were centuries behind her.

Yet, those days seemed to be returning. The days of love and affection had come back. But not from Master though - she only got worse. Green Man reminded her of that era, much more than she ever could have anticipated. In fact, his unconditional love outweighed that of which Master used to give her. But that couldn't be right. Master was the only one who could ever love her. Master made that very clear.

'Hey Gattina!' Luigi called. 'It's time to get out of here!'

The voice of Green Man brought her back into the real world. In her thoughts, she had completely missed that the sand had already filled the room and had stopped falling. The other members of her team were waiting for her by the door.

'So, is Gattina her name now?' Daisy asked. 'I kinda like it.'

'Oh, it's just the Italian word for cat.'

'Oh...'

Polterkitty found herself not wanting Green Man to die. Of course, this was only because Master wanted him _alive_. Obviously. Yet, though no one cared about Mean Lady, the kitty did not want to her die either. What was happening to her? No time to worry about that now. She had to rejoin her team at once.

At the start of this mess, getting Green Man up to Master's suite and handing him over to her had been Polterkitty's only goal. Possibly killing Mean Lady in the process. That way, Master could forget about King Boo and love her again.

Why did that goal seem horrible now? She had to impress Master. She just _had_ to. No one else would ever love a three-tailed monster like her.

'Come on, Polterkitty!' Mean Lady yelled. 'We'll leave you here if you don't get going!'

'Daisy! Don't say that.'

'Hey, I was only joking.'

'I know, but she might not know that.'

But... maybe Master was _wrong_?

* * *

Charles and Sam found Grace the Goob, as per the boss's orders, shivering as she hid in a locker in the Fitness Centre. She hadn't even taken her maid uniform off. It was only thanks to a mind-controlled Johnny Deepend that they were able to find her at all.

_'Yeah, dudes.'_ He had said. _'I saw that babe hiding in one of those gnarly lockers. I bet she's gonna receive a killer punishment. Major bummer, dude...'_

The poor girl screamed and kicked as Charles and Sam carried her away. They felt no better over doing this than she did, but the thought of their son in danger scared them so much more.

'P-Put me down!' Grace screamed as they lifted her into the fifteenth floor. 'Y-You know what Ms Gravely will d-do to me!'

The couple could say nothing to justify the situation, and thus chose to remain silent. Hellen held her hands together like an excited little girl when Grace was dragged into her office.

'LET ME GO!' Grace shouted, as if it would do anything.

She pulled against the grip that the Goob couple had on her arms, but she could not break free.

'Well well well,' Hellen said. 'Look at what we have here.'

The very sight of her boss made Grace go completely stiff. She felt as if she was staring directly into an oncoming train.

'M-Ms Gravely...' She stammered. 'W-What am I d-doing here?'

'Grace, I believe you are? It's hard telling you Goobs apart.' She chuckled. 'Now, and correct me if I am wrong, are you the ghost who had that princess in her grasp, before she fled the scene like the coward she is?'

Grace gulped. She didn't fall for these tricks. Hellen knew she was right. Toying with her victims before punishment was a game to her.

'I'll take that little gulp as a yes. Now, Gracie, I'm sure we're aware of our little policy. Are we not?'

The frightened Goob nodded. 'Y-Yes. I-I am. You fight until the end. Fleeing is disgraceful. Being a coward... m-must be punished.'

'Wonderful! So we are indeed aware. Mind telling me, then, why you and many others have blatantly disobeyed me?'

Grace said nothing. What could she say? She closed her eyes and lowered her head, awaiting retribution. Hellen opened one of the drawers of her desk, and from it pulled out a metallic collar big enough for the Goobs.

Charles and Sam shuddered.

'Bring her closer, if you please.' Hellen ordered.

The two Goobs didn't move at all, until Ms Gravely pulled out her remote again. Fearing for their son's safety, they brought the victim closer.

'Chambrea must be disgusted by your behaviour. How could a ghost so aggressive train a coward so pathetic?'

Now Grace wish she never fled. Whatever the princess would've done to her would not have been nearly as painful as this.

'I'll give you one last chance, Gracie. Prove to me that you can at least go out with a pure heart. Tell me that you hope to see that Green Man in hell.'

Grace opened her eyes, and glared directly into those of her boss. For the first time in her afterlife, she wanted to do something brave.

She spat slobbery ectoplasm right into Hellen Gravely's face.

'Hope to see you there...'

Charles and Sam gasped. Hellen barely even flinched.

'Oh well!' She said in an overly-cheery voice. 'That's the way it is then.'

She snapped her fingers.

In that moment, the worst pain imaginable teared through Grace's body. She screamed out in agony as the electroshock collar worked its 'magic' on her.

'MAKE IT STOP!'

'Now now, Grace.' Hellen said. 'No need to be so inelegant.'

**Author Notes - Threw in a quick Early-Bird Cameo of the Twisted Sisters because why not? After all, they're quite popular from what I can tell. I mean, I like them so surely that extrapolates. And I have a feeling that Ginny and her very British swearing will really push that T rating. Oh, and Johnny Deepend too, I guess.**

**I don't know if I've mentioned this, but like Charles and Sam are named after Mario's and Peach's voice actors, their son Lou is named after Lou Albano, the guy who played Mario in the Super Show. This is the one exception to the 'no naming ghosts after currently dead people' rule thanks to the actor name theming.**

**Also, I'm a massive Pikmin fan. I figured that Daisy, lover of plants, would like it too. It was either that, or the Alaskan Bull Worm.**

* * *

_Serpci thought she had it all. A girl as young as her, ruling an entire kingdom! She may not have been as much of a tyrant as her father, but she still controlled the nation. __That's what being a queen was all about - getting everything you wanted! Or, so she thought._

_She ran out into the night one day, convinced that as a queen she could do anything. Even freezing cold air couldn't stop her, no matter how much she shivered. __But the Chinchos definitely could. __Her servants managed to save her before she lost her life. She was brought home, and bedridden for a week thanks to her nasty cold and horrible scars._

_She never left her pyramid again._


	25. U-Serpci the Throne

**Author Notes - Serpci is definitely one of the best boss fights in the game. Literally everything about it is designed to make you use everything you have in your arsenal. She also has one of the best designs. Seriously, look at dat bod. (And once again, my orientation is put into question).**

**Bow down to your new pharaohs brewerspackers9 and C.T Genius, for they have added their favourites/follows to the story!**

**_WARNING:_ I'm normally not the biggest fan of trigger warnings, but I do see one as being rather necessary here. Without going into details here for spoiler-riffic reasons, this chapter discusses the serious topic of suicide. It is not shown on-screen, but it is mentioned quite a bit.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - U-SERPCI THE THRONE**

Polterkitty flinched. She couldn't help but get the feeling that something absolutely horrible was going down in Master's suite.

'Alright Kitty,' Daisy said. 'Give us the lowdown. What now?'

Now that they had made it through the door, only one major trap remained. The room was small, and lit only by a single dying torch. The cobwebs covering the corners made Luigi feel nervous. The only route out was a long series of stairs.

'Me-yow-yow!'

'She says that we have to be careful. The end of this staircase is the end of the whole thing, but-'

'Wait, we're at the end already? Alright!'

'What? No! Daisy!'

Unfortunately, the princess cared too much about getting out of that death trap than taking any care. She charged right up the steps, not even thinking about the possibility of tripping, too excited to see the light again.

She stopped in her tracks. The step her foot rested on sunk downwards just a couple inches, but more than enough to make her heart stop.

'Oh no...'

'MROOOW!'

Daisy didn't even need the translation on that one. She rushed forward even faster than before, just barely holding back a scream. Polterkitty gave Luigi no warning - there was less than no time for one - and threw him onto her back. He wrapped his arms around her neck by instinct. The answer to the question he was too scared to ask came with a very loud and sudden THUD. Followed up by another one a second later. And another.

The walls themselves were slamming against each other, one segment at a time, with enough speed and force to turn even the toughest of steel into putty. Luigi closed his eyes and screamed, tightening his grip on Polterkitty's neck. The petrified panther ran to her absolute limit, not just to make sure that Master got her prize but to also save a friend.

'**DO NOT LET GO!**'

The plumber would've loved to respond with 'like I would do anything else', but was screaming too hard to say anything.

Daisy watched the panther dash past her with Luigi in tow. Her heart could just barely catch up with her legs, working overtime to pump blood to every part of her body. Despite its hard work, it took hardly any time at all for Daisy to grow lightheaded. Sweat seeped out of her every pore. She didn't dare turn around. She just knew that if she stopped to check behind her, she'd be turned to paste. A feeling of nausea overwhelmed her; it took a lot of strength not to puke on the spot.

The corridor made a ninety-degree turn to the right. Polterkitty made the turn no problem and booked it up the next flight of stairs, knocking over a vase in the process halfway up. She couldn't help but feel bad for the poor, unaware spiders populating the corridor. She didn't stop until she reached the top and leapt into a small chamber. Luigi slid off her neck and fell to the floor, gasping for air once he could finally stop screaming.

His eyes widened. 'Daisy...!'

He and Polterkitty turned their attention back to the corridor. Daisy, going red in the face, had kept a great pace. Her look of determination masked the utter horror going through her mind, and the sight of Luigi waiting for her brought light back into her eyes.

Her foot got caught on the knocked-over vase. For a moment, everything seemed to pause. The entire world ceased to function. Daisy was slammed back into reality when her chest hit the floor.

'DAISY!' Luigi screamed.

Daisy took one last look at his face. Despite all the horrors they had faced, this was the most terrified she had seen him all night. She didn't even bother getting back up. What was the point? She could hear the walls crashing together right behind her. It was only a matter of time before she would be turned into paste.

It wasn't like Luigi needed her anyway.

'RUFF RUFF! RUFF!'

Suddenly, Daisy felt something lift her off the ground. She could hear the vase getting crushed to smithereens behind her.

'Hurry, Polterpup! HURRY!'

Luigi's own heart was about to burst. Only Polterpup could save her now.

_***SLAMSLAMSLAM***_

'DAAAIIISY!'

'OOF!'

Polterpup threw Daisy to the ground, spinning her around to make sure she didn't land on her chest.

The final segment slammed against the wall. The squished remains of an unfortunate spider seeped out and fell to the floor. Thanks to her position, Daisy got the perfect view of the corridor crushing the innocent arachnid right at her feet. Her breath was heavier than the biggest of Hammers. She sweated more than ice cubes in the Summer sun. She didn't even notice Luigi running to her side, holding her hand and giving her a relieved smile.

'Oh, Daisy! I'm so glad you're okay!'

His voice was merely white noise. All she could focus on was the mere fact that she had nearly died.

'Daisy?'

She could feel the tears demanding to be released.

'D-Daisy? Are you okay? You're just... s-staring.'

It was like a dam. Her mental block shut off all emotional flow. But, like a real dam, there was only so much it could handle. Sooner or later, her fear would pile up and destroy the wall she tried so desperately to maintain.

'Please Daisy, say something.'

Luigi nearly panicked again. This silent thousand-yard-stare was so uncharacteristic of her. For a moment, he feared she was possessed by something.

'Daisy! Listen to me!'

She buried her face in her hands, and wept.

Luigi jumped back. 'M-Margherita?'

Of all the ways for her to respond, this was the last thing he was expecting. He stayed away, not daring to interrupt her. He knew better than anyone that the best thing to do was to leave her be. Polterpup approached her, whimpering, until Luigi gently pulled him away.

Daisy's crying fit came to a swift end when she suddenly got to her feet and slammed her fist into the wall. 'ARRGGH!'

Everyone flinched. Her fist left a very noticeable crater in the brick work.

'D-Daisy?'

The princess leaned her forehead up against the wall, and continued to cry.

'Daisy! Speak to me!'

His tone came out far harsher than he wanted, but he didn't care. The princess glanced at him. Staring into her teary, frightened eyes, he nearly cried himself. Though anger emanated from her body, her eyes revealed her vulnerable inside.

'What do you want me to say?' She asked.

'D-Daisy... you're crying! Why are you crying?'

Daisy chuckled. It was an empty laugh completely lacking any joy.

'I guess I've done a good job at hiding it then.'

'Um, h-hiding what?'

The princess pressed her back against the wall, and slid down until she hit the floor. She had stopped crying, but looked no less alone and afraid.

'Luigi,' She muttered. 'Do you promise you won't tell anyone else?'

'Y-Yes. I-I promise.'

She sighed. 'So... you must think I'm some awesome warrior who's afraid of nothing, huh? An ass-kicking princess who never backs down? You think I have no fear?'

Luigi gasped. 'Y-You mean you-?'

'I am terrified of EVERYTHING, Luigi!'

The plumber's flashlight fell to the ground. Silence filled the room. Polterkitty sat on the sidelines, cringing.

'I'm not brave, or fearless, or anything like that. You think I wasn't scared when that Tatanga enemy kidnapped me? Sweet Luvbi, I've been terrified out of my mind since the _beginning_ of all this! Absolutely petrified!' She paused to take a breath. 'I hoped that grand piano would be the worst it got. But... but it only got much, much worse.'

Luigi opened his mouth, but left it hanging for a few moments. He spent much longer thinking about what to say than usual.

'You... you mean that?' He asked. 'I-I can't believe it.'

'Yeah, well, that's the truth! The brave princess you know and love is actually nothing more than a coward. I've been bottling it all up, and... I guess something finally broke.'

The plumber truly couldn't believe that this was happening. Yes, he had his suspicions, but to think that it was _real_ was something else entirely.

'Okay, so you're just as scared of everything as I am.' He said. 'So why would you hide it? Bottling it up just makes it worse.'

Daisy pouted. 'I... I don't know.' She giggled. 'Oh, I am such an idiot.'

'W-What? No, Daisy. You're not an idiot!'

To his shock, the smile on her face was genuine and warm. With a sigh, she stood up. Her arms and legs shivered.

'No, it's okay Sweetie.' She said. 'I hid how terrified I've been because I figured that you wouldn't like me anymore if you knew the real me.' She giggled some more. 'I can't believe I actually thought that! Why would you, the sweetest man on the planet, judge me for something like _that_?'

Luigi smiled, and leapt into an embrace. The way he held onto her was akin to a child hugging his bedtime teddy bear to keep away the nightmares. Daisy made no attempt to pry him off.

'Of course I wouldn't.' He said. 'I don't care about any of that. I love you for you. And if 'you' is as scared as me, then I love it. And anyway, with how timid _I_ am, do you think I wouldn't like someone else like that?'

Daisy returned the hug. 'Geez, when you put it like **that**, it sounds even more silly. It's just... I feel like I have this reputation as a tough tomboy princess to uphold. That's why I pretended to hate shopping last whenever-the-hell-it-was, if you're wondering. Yeah, I do kick ass, but I just can't do it all the time. Sometimes, I just wanna go back to bed and cry.'

'And that's okay. If you want to keep it hidden from other people, that's fine too. Just promise you won't hide it from _me_ ever again.'

Daisy needed a moment. There was about fifty thousand things that she wanted to say, but she simply couldn't piece the words together. She hugged him tighter; she didn't need to say much at all.

'I promise.' She said.

The calm embrace continued for all of two seconds, before the ringtone of the VB destroyed the lovely silence. Its sudden onset made Luigi jump back.

Daisy groaned. 'You serious? Hang on Sweetie.'

When she responded to the call, she could see E. Gadd chilling by his computer. Gus T and Parr T were by the ghost container unit. The blue fungus had his arms out, barely restraining the urge to strangle the yellow mushroom.

'_Look at that, Gus!_' Parr yelled. '_Those twins keep arguing with each other, while the maid threatens to give everyone their second death!_'

'_Yes, Parr, I can see that. I have been looking in the same vault you have. Oh, the chef just whacked the pianist upside the head. And said pianist is destroying him._'

Through the camera, Daisy could see some sort of web article on E. Gadd's computer, but the low-quality footage of the VB made it unreadable.

'_Good news, Princess!_' The professor announced. '_I was just doing some research and I... I'm not interrupting anything, am I?_'

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'No, no. It's okay. You were saying?'

'_Right. See, most of the ghosts as individuals are near impossible to research, thanks to them not being especially notable people in their life. Queen Serpci, however, is an exception! As a pharaoh in ancient Sand Kingdomian times, there is an abundance of information on her. Would you like to hear it?_'

'Me? Unless it tells me how to punch her in the face, I don't really care. Luigi might wanna hear about her, though.'

With no more of an introduction, she handed the device over to Luigi. The green-clad plumber, indeed curious, continued the call.

'_Now listen to this, sonny!_' E. Gadd said. '_It says here that Serpci was the only child of King Sphynx, thanks to her mother unfortunately losing her life giving birth to her._'

'Awww...'

'_Yes, it is indeed tragic. The deaths of loved ones is unfortunately quite common among ghosts... Anyway, King Sphynx did not hold it against his daughter and treated her like a princess. Until, of course, he was assassinated._'

Luigi gasped.

'_Indeed. Being the only one in line, Serpci inherited the throne at a very young age. She ruled her kingdom until she was thirty-nine years old. She... erm, do you want me to give it to you straight?_'

The man took a moment to consider it.

'... Yes.'

'_Don't say I didn't warn you. At the age of thirty-nine, she committed suicide by allowing a venomous snake to bite her._'

Luigi winced. Daisy did not feel like asking.

'Why did she do something like that?'

'_Her motives were never clear, though apparently the people in her life were not particular shocked. Welp! Time to go capture her now!_'

The call ended there, rather abruptly. Luigi simply put the VB away into his pocket with a dejected sigh.

'I don't wanna know, do I?' Daisy asked.

'No... you really don't. So, how do we get out of here?'

The only thing of note in the room, aside from a few well-painted vases, was a massive web that covered up one of the walls. The sight of it alone made Luigi shudder. Fortunately, spiders were one of the few things in the hotel that Daisy wasn't scared of. Her eyes drifted to a lone torch hanging on the wall.

'Well, this seems simple enough.' She remarked.

She ripped the torch off the wall and brought it over to the thick webbing. Even the strongest of spider silk was no match for the flame, and the sticky strings vanished in a flash of embers. Seeing as the torch was no longer needed, Daisy tossed it over her shoulder - which would've been an absurdly stupid move if the flooring was even slightly flammable. Behind the webs, was another picture of Luigi. This one was identical to the one in Serpci's chamber; same pose and all.

'So Serpci's chamber would be on the other side of this wall, correct?' Daisy asked, to which Polterkitty nodded. 'Kay, so what in this sweet holy world do we do now?'

Luigi approached the carving of himself with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He certainly hadn't wanted to be noticed **this** much. He focused on the pose his stone counterpart was in.

'Is this the part where I smash it?' Daisy suggested.

'Uh... we'll save that as our last option.' Luigi said.

'**Don't you mean, our Last Reso-?**'

'Boy, this is not the time.'

Even Polterkitty couldn't quite understand this one. No mortal had ever gotten this far before, and ghosts simply fazed through the wall. She wasn't at all certain that corporeal lifeforms could solve this puzzle. Luigi moved his arms out in a way resembling a robot in desperate need of repair.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Uhhh... Luigi, what are you even _attempting_ to do?'

The plumber hooked his flashlight up to the Poltergust, and proceeded to imitate the pose much better. In fact, it was as if the carving came to life. The carving itself glowed, and the wall shifted just a little.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'Wait, what? That **worked?!**'

Daisy chose not to complain, and grabbed into his shoulders. She made the right choice, as the wall spun around into a semi-circle with ridiculous speed, taking the two mortals with it. The spin stopped abruptly, sending both humans falling to the ground. They look a moment to glance around the room - they made it back. And Serpci was there, floating above her coffin.

'EEK!' She shrieked.

It took the pharaoh a few moments to relax, and realise that they were merely mortals. Well, the princess was 'merely' a mortal. Nothing about Luigi could be 'merely' to her.

'So I see that you have successfully navigated my ancient tomb.' She said. 'I am not at all surprised that the amazing Luigi made it through alive, but I am rather shocked that the princess managed to survive.'

'Hey!' Daisy yelled.

'I am impressed, to say the least. I believe you are looking for this.'

She moved her hands about in a manner similar to a flowing river. An 'ember' of sand arose from the floor, and 'jumped' into her open hand. Once the sand trickled back to the floor, it uncovered the next elevator button. This one was for floor eleven.

Daisy got up from the floor. 'Oh, yeah! That. We want that.' She lifted Luigi onto his feet. 'And I'm sure that a big Luigi fangirl such as yourself would gladly hand it over to him.'

Serpci giggled. 'But of course!'

She slithered through the air and dropped the button directly into Luigi's open hand, no questions asked. The plumber stared at it for a bit, unable to believe it was actually real.

'Uh, t-thanks, Serpci.' He said. 'For the-'

Serpci grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward. 'It doesn't matter when he'll be staying with me forever!'

Luigi struggled against her grip, but it felt like fighting against a black hole. The deadly smile she gave him just unnerved him further.

'HEY!' Daisy shouted. 'Get off 'im!'

The princess gritted her teeth and reached out for her plumber. She was just an inch away when Serpci sent a ball of sand flying directly into her face. The grains irritated her eyes, and with a mighty sneeze she fell to the ground. Her head hit the back wall on the way down.

'Ow...' She muttered, rubbing the back of her head.

'DAISY! HEEELLLP!'

She rubbed the sand out of her watery eyes, only to see both Luigi and Serpci were gone. With a gasp, she shot to her feet.

'When I get my gloves on that pharaoh, I swear to Grambi-!'

She flinched as Polterkitty's massive head suddenly popped out through the Luigi carving. To say the least, she seemed to be having difficulties getting the rest of herself out.

'Ruff ruff! ARF! (Can't you just take off that stupid pendant?)'

'Mrow-rowww! (Master will get mad if I do that.)'

The rest of Polterkitty's body made it through the wall, popping through so fast that she fell onto her face. Polterpup floated on through without any effort at all, giving her a rather annoyed look.

'Yip yip! (That is the last time I help you get through walls.)'

The spectral hound looked around, and his tail drooped. He emitted a series of whimpers that Daisy figured translated to 'where is Master?'.

'Heck if I know where Luigi is! All I know is, that pharaoh dragged him away. If she brought him deeper into this tomb, I'M GONNA-'

The pharaoh's spine-tingling giggles could be heard just outside the front door, and that was precisely where Daisy ran to. She left the door open just long enough for Polterkitty to slide on through. Serpci stood in the middle of the gigantic sandy room, with both her hands on Luigi's shoulders. His pupils were pinpricks, and his muscles didn't even shake a bit.

'DAISY!' He yelled.

Daisy clenched her fists. 'Alright Queenie! I demolished your husband, and I can do the same to you!'

The anger boiling inside her was enough for her to overcome the bitter cold.

Serpci giggled again. 'I wouldn't try it if I were you. I am second in power only to Amadeus Wolfgeist.'

The princess scoffed. 'So? We captured him too. If we can defeat the most powerful ghost in this hotel, we can absolutely beat you!'

She left out the part where they only won because Luigi attempted a more diplomatic route. Either way, Serpci didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

'Perhaps we could take the 'we' out of that equation, hm?'

'Don't you DARE, for even a moment!'

Serpci cared none for her pleas, and waved her arm around in a circle. The spinning started off slow, with only a few grains of sand drifting into the air, but it got progressively faster and faster. The quicker her arm spun, the more sand swirled around in the air. Daisy growled through her teeth, and charged forward. Whatever that pharaoh was attempting, Daisy was going to bash her ghostly face in.

The princess skidded to a sharp stop. The flying grains had transformed into a mighty sandy tornado. Luigi and Serpci disappeared behind the twirly cloud of dust, and Daisy had to step back before the particles further irritated her eyes. Polterpup and Polterkitty could only watch in horror, fearing for her safety.

'Come out and fight me like a real ghost!' Daisy cried.

The sand tornado did not last long, and seemingly dissipated into thin air within moments. Daisy felt relief for about two seconds, before she realised that neither Luigi nor Serpci could be seen where they once were. Instead, in their place, was a giant mound of sand towering over Daisy that was in the shape of Serpci's head. And, while the princess couldn't be sure, she was certain the sandy face was giving her a death stare.

'OH DEAR GRAMBI!'

Daisy, as per her promise, made no attempt to hide her terror as she fell over backwards. Paranormal gates appeared and locked into place, reducing the available arena space to at least half its original size.

'If you want Luigi back,' Serpci's voice bellowed from inside the giant head. 'You'll have to fight for him!'

At that moment, Polterpup and Polterkitty rushed to her side. They growled and hissed at the grainy bust, making it clear that the princess would not be the only one fighting.

'Ooh, now this is interesting.' Serpci said. 'I am not surprised to see the doggy leap to his master's defence, but the kitty is quite unexpected. Perhaps she has found a new friend? Not that it matters. All shall fall to the mighty Serpci.'

And then, to Daisy's horror, the head began to move. It travelled forward in a straight line, ignoring all the bumps and ditches in the dunes. It passed through them like nothing. And it wasn't too slow either. Though no speedster, its speed was more than enough to make Daisy scream.

'Okay, okay!' She said, getting to her feet. 'If anyone has any ideas, SAY THEM NOW!'

Polterpup and Polterkitty responded, revealing a fatal flaw in Daisy's plan - she had no way of understanding them. Their desperate cries to converse only overwhelmed the princess.

'Alright, everybody shut up!' She yelled. 'Give me a moment to think. If I had the Poltergust, I could easily suck up the sand. But without it...'

With the sandy face of her doom approaching closer and closer every moment, it gave Daisy little time to think. She closed her eyes for just a moment, and when she opened them again she got a face full of sand.

'AAAHH!'

In a moment of panic, she threw a punch. Her fist knocked the nose clean off Serpci's creation, and it collapsed into a heap on the ground.

The head stopped moving so Serpci could emerge from the top of it. 'Don't do that!' She yelled, rubbing her nose. 'That hurts!'

Daisy smirked. 'Oh, sorry. Would you rather I do _this_?'

She delivered a punch to one of the eyes. Sand scattered everywhere, leaving a massive dent where the eye once was.

'OW!' Serpci cried, her hand over that eye. 'D-Don't you understand that attacking that hurts me too?'

'Yeah, that's kinda the point.'

Polterpup laughed at this little joke, which was the final straw for Serpci. The pharaoh growled, and pointed right at the princess. Four giant cobras, also made of sand, emerged from the bottom of the heap. They managed to tower over the already-huge sculpture. Better yet, they each had glowing eyes that were staring directly at Daisy.

'EEP!'

'Get 'er, my slithery companions!'

The two cobra heads above Daisy stuck their tongues out, as if to savour her scent, and dove down teeth first. Daisy leapt out of the way, and the cobras smacked their faces into the floor. It left them both dazed.

'Kitty!' Daisy yelled. 'Destroy!'

Polterkitty nodded, and pounced. The cobras recovered from their dizziness, only to see a Panthergeist extending her claws out at them. They shrieked for the half-a-second they had left before Polterkitty ripped them to shreds.

'Leave them alone!' Serpci cried. 'Snakes are my only friends!'

'So you're friends with dirt, huh?' Daisy remarked. 'I'm not surprised.'

Serpci's expression softened. For a moment, her confident anger faded and she frowned. Her eyes, though empty and lacking pupils, had a hint of sadness in them. Her hands shot to her head, and she began to hyperventilate.

'We got her!' Daisy said. 'Poltiepup, Polterkitty. Attack the head with all you've got!'

The remaining trio charged for the vulnerable face, chipping away at the sand bit by bit. Daisy continued to punch her way through, backing away as it began moving forward again. Polterpup dug through the mouth like he was just burying a bone, having a little too much fun as he did so. Polterkitty did the most damage, tearing through like she was ripping apart paste.

And Serpci could feel each impact on her real face.

'STOP IT!'

Daisy laughed. 'Make us!'

Serpci's breathing turned harsher. Thank goodness for her ghostly nature - she'd have a heart attack otherwise.

'Why aren't you helping me, Boss?!' She screamed. 'I'm doing everything that you want me to! GIVE ME COURAGE!'

Daisy stopped. It encouraged the Polterpets to cease their attacks too.

'Serpci? Are you alright?'

The pharaoh screamed again, this time incoherently. Daisy backed away until she could see her clearly.

'Serpci, listen to me! You don't have to do this. Just give Luigi back to us and we will leave you alone!'

Serpci just glared at her. She disappeared back into the head, and the entire sandy pile sunk back into the dunes. It scattered like water running on the floor, and disappeared like it wasn't there at all.

'Don't run away!' Daisy yelled. 'Give me back my Luigi!'

Polterpup yipped and growled at where Serpci's creation once was, while Polterkitty shuddered.

'Mro-ow-row!'

'I have no idea what that means, but that doesn't sound good.'

Polterkitty could not have been more right. The sandy heap, now nothing but a shapeless pile, remerged and 'leapt' into the air like a shark attacking from the ocean. It soared over the trio, sprinkling them with the grains that trickled down.

'OH GEEZ!'

The flying heap covered half the room in just a couple of seconds, and slammed into the floor. The impact unleashed a sonic wave of dirt that levelled the entire terrain as it went, and it was heading straight for Daisy. The princess didn't have it in her to scream anymore. She stepped back, trying to get through the scrambled mess that was her mind to figure out when to jump. Her vision began to blur, making the guesswork that much harder.

'YIP YIP!'

'MIAAAOOOW!'

She leapt. Her legs were sturdy and athletic, yes, but could only do so much. Her feet hit the solid shockwave.

'WAHHH!'

She fell flat on her face, and coughed out mouthfuls worth of sand. Pain circulated through her body from her chest hitting the ground. Many, many expletives spilled from her mouth. It was no exaggeration that she'd rather deal with two Tatangas over this.

She wanted to give up. But she couldn't. She _wouldn't_. Not with Luigi's life on the line.

'Is that all you've got, Queenie?!' She cried.

The head reformed at the impact site, no less big than before but retaining all damage inflicted. The four cobras reappeared, baring their fangs before Daisy could even get to her feet. Serpci's creation moved across the room, faster than before.

The princess gritted her teeth.

'Polterkitty!'

The Panthergeist in question stood up straight, awaiting either an order or a berating.

'Since no one here has the Poltergust, you are the faster at clearing away sand out of the three of us. Attack that face and don't stop 'till you've drilled all the way through!'

Polterkitty shuddered. The way Mean Lady barked orders at her reminded her too much of Master. Yet, there was something different about it this time. She didn't feel like she had to follow it lest she get punished. She _wanted_ to follow it.

'Mrow-ROWW!'

'Now GO!'

The Panthergeist got down to the floor, wiggling her legs in preparation, and pounced.

'MROOOOAAW!'

The snake heads dove down to snap at her, but she jumped right past them. Using her gigantic claws, she tore through the sand like tearing through tissue paper.

'No... NO! S-Stop that at once!' Serpci cried.

Polterkitty just hissed in response, not slowing down for a moment. She bashed and scratched with unrelenting fury.

'That's right, Polterkitty!' Daisy yelled. 'Keep going!'

The Panthergeist paused her attacks, for just a second. She could recognise the white glove she just uncovered.

'Meow? ROW!'

She cringed. The cobras above her had sunk their fangs into two of her tails, and pulled. No matter how deep she dug her claws into the ground, the sandy snakes yanked her away from her target and slowly into the air.

'ROOOWW-OOWW!'

'KITTY!'

The gloved hand twitched about, as if reaching for its saviour. Polterkitty's claws scrapped the floor as she was dragged away and off the ground.

'I do not understand why you are on their side, Neferkitty.' Serpci said. 'But I will be sure to teach you a lesson for it.'

Polterkitty gripped the floor as hard as she could, anchoring herself to the uneven surface. Though the cobras pulled harder and harder, she would not leave the ground.

'Let go, you confounded beast!' Serpci yelled. 'M-Make this easy for us! ... Please?'

The spectral panther just chuckled, and pulled herself towards the dunes. The cobras held on tighter, which was precisely what she wanted. The tails detached from her body, and she smacked her face into the sand. Even the cobras seemed shocked that all they had in their maws were a couple of disembodied tails, ones which soon disappeared into a cloud of sparkles.

'No... NO!'

Polterkitty gave the head-shaped mound one last hack, making sure to avoid the hostage within, and as if she had destroyed a load-baring pillar the entire structure began to shake and wobble. The sand collapsed into the dunes, revealing nothing but a panicking Serpci and a sneezy Luigi in a dissipating cloud of dust. The pharaoh tensed up upon the realisation that her veil had been destroyed, and just tensed up more when she saw the Panthergeist snarling at her.

Daisy dashed across the room with Polterpup behind her. 'Luigi, get out of there!'

Luigi heard her voice but was too deep in a sneezing fit to even get up, let alone run away. Serpci, in a knee-jerk reaction, reached for his wrist.

'RAAWWRRRR!'

Polterkitty shoved her aside, and got between her and the plumber. She snarled and growled, no less threatening with just one third of her tails. Luigi took this opportunity, and ran over to Daisy the moment his sneezing fit stopped. The princess brought him into a hug, and held on tight. Polterpup ran around his legs, finding that he couldn't get close enough even if he was phasing through him.

'Are you alright, Sweetie?' Daisy asked.

Luigi gently pulled himself away. 'Uh, aside from almost suffocating and then nearly sneezing myself to death? I've felt better.'

'Huh, you too?'

The duo brought their attention to the pharaoh, who seemed to be bordering on a panic attack. Polterkitty circled around her, awaiting any sort of move.

'This is all your fault, Neferkitty!' Serpci shouted. 'Luigi was the only thing that made my afterlife worth it, and you've taken him away from me!'

Luigi winced, and not because he was the target of an obsession again. Sure, she was certainly going more than a little too far, but if her claim was true...

'Uh, Daisy?' He said. 'I-I know you don't like it when I keep suggesting we try to be nice instead of fighting, but-'

'Say no more, Luigi.' She replied. 'I get it now.'

'Y-You do?'

She nodded. 'I mean, I went the diplomatic route with Ug, but that was only because I had to. And the redneck twins were just annoying. But with Serpci here... she seems so lost and scared in this world, but tries to hide it. I-I know how that feels.'

Luigi glanced down at his glove, the one with electrical scorch marks. He prayed that it wouldn't come to _that_.

'Uh, n-not to put this pressure on you,' He stammered. 'But do you know how to do that in a way that doesn't involve me spending the rest of my life with her?'

'Oh, um...' She scratched the back of her neck. 'I was kinda hoping you knew.'

'Okay, how about-?'

No time for ideas yet, as Serpci summoned more cobras made of sand. Unlike the ones from before, they were not much bigger than her at all, and the eight of them surrounded her like a ring.

'I'll have my Luigi on the wall!' She declared. 'If it's the last thing I ever do!'

She didn't know where anyone was, and spread her arms out in a manner resembling a panicking child. The eight sand cobras leaned their heads back, and each fired out a sharp glowing projectile from their mouth. The energy required to fire such shots made them collapse into piles. The shots all flew in a straight line like an arrow unaffected by gravity, and while most of them went in completely random directions one was on its way over to the mortals.

'Serpci!' Daisy yelled. 'You don't have to do this!'

She didn't notice the arrow aiming to go straight through her.

'Daisy, LOOK OUT!'

Luigi pushed her out of the way and onto the soft ground. He cringed as a piercing pain coursed through his arm. Only when she hit the ground did Daisy realise what just happened. Serpci screamed in despair, and disappeared into the sand. Polterkitty growled at that spot.

'Luigi!' Daisy cried.

She saw him with tears in his eyes and his hand firmly grasped over his upper arm. Despite his agony, he gave her a smile.

'I-I'm just fine.' He claimed. 'S-See?'

He peeled his blood-stained glove away, and it was certainly not a pretty sight. The bizarre projectile had cut through his shirt and his skin. Compared to the lacerations on Daisy's chest this gash was hardly big at all, but still blood seeped out of it.

'Oh, Luigi...' Daisy murmured. 'You didn't have to do that.'

'I had to.' He said. 'After all those times you've done it for me, I had to repay you. And it's not so bad.'

Though he wasn't wrong, it didn't make Daisy feel any less uncomfortable. Polterpup had reached his boiling point, and charged after where Serpci had vanished while yowling and barking like mad.

'Boy, what are you doing?' Luigi asked as Daisy helped him up.

'**No fan of Master would hurt Master like that!**' Polterpup yelled.

The spectral hound skidded to a stop as a massive dust cloud emerged from precisely where Serpci was last seen. The Polterpets braced for any sort of attack.

'Boy? Gattina? Get away from that!'

The dust cloud changed shape into a solid hand made of the particles, one the size of Master Hand himself. It spread its fingers out and aimed its open palm for the animals.

'ROWL!'

'YIP!'

Polterpup and Polterkitty jumped out of the way as the hand slammed into the ground where they stood. It managed to survive the impact, and left a big dent in the dunes.

'If there is a way to kill a ghost,' Daisy muttered. 'I'm going to find out tonight.'

The sandy hand flew back into the air, and changed its shape into a fist. Instead of attacking the Polterpets again, it fired itself at the humans like it had been shot out of a cannon.

'OH SWEET MASTER HAND!' Daisy screamed.

Luigi saw how much Daisy's knees shook, and that was enough to help him forget the pain in his arm. He got his hands on the Poltergust, and waited. The fist moved so fast that he didn't need to wait very long at all. Relying on his instinct, he slammed on the 'suck' and the 'blow' button, activating a burst. The sudden burst of air reduced the fist to its individual grains, which sprinkled harmlessly over Luigi and Daisy.

The man look a quick look at his wound. 'I hope no grains got in that...'

Daisy wiped the absurd amount of sweat from her face. 'Oh, thank you Sweetie. Oh my lord, I'm about to faint.'

'Um, try to wait until _after_ this battle.'

The princess looked back at the exit door. Serpci was apparently paranoid that they would flee, so she had doubled the paranormal gates blocking the way out.

'I still have the eleventh button.' Luigi said. 'And Polterkitty can tear through those gates. But, I don't wanna leave Serpci like this. You know, if I have to stay here so you can-'

'Only after Serpci pries you out of my cold, dead hands.'

Speaking of the pharaoh, she was yet to reappear. Her creations, on the other hand, were here to stay. Piles of sand began to grow from the floor, siphoning up as many grains as they could to grow as high as possible. Polterpup and Polterkitty dashed away from the mountainous heap.

Daisy groaned so hard, her throat hurt. 'What the hell is she doing now?!'

The gigantic sand piles slowly took shape, going from mere hills to becoming more geometric. Tall cylinders on the sides, a thick wall in the middle, an even taller tower behind that, and... a raised drawbridge? When crenels formed on top of the cylinders, the shape became clear. Serpci had built a literal sandcastle, one that was even bigger than her pyramid. She stood on the top of the soaring middle tower, looking down at the mere mortals. Hardly any sand was left in the floor itself.

Daisy gulped. 'D-Do you need a bathroom break too?'

'Uh... y-yes!'

Luigi looked at his scorched glove. With a sigh, he realised they had no other option. He clenched his eyelids shut as he poured all of his concentration into that hand. For a moment, a ball of electricity sparked from his hand, only to disappear in moments.

'Dang it...' He muttered.

Daisy's eyes widened. 'You wanna explain what that was?'

'Uh, so there's this thing called the Thunderhand...'

While Luigi explained his bizarre power to his princess, the ghostly pets bowed before the drawbridge and growled at the pharaoh. Polterpup in particular spouted many expletives, and Polterkitty made up for her clean mouth by roaring as loud as she could.

Serpci snickered from her perch. 'Don't you pests know? Sand can be moulded into anything I want!'

Two cannons, made of sand of course, showed themselves from behind the castle walls. The grains that made up their fuses trickled to the ground, and once they ran out the cannons fired.

'ROOWR!'

'YIIIP!'

They leapt out of the way of the circular projectiles, which hit the bare floor so hard they both left a small crater.

'-which is why I can summon electricity from my hand.' Luigi finished explaining, right as the cannonballs hit.

'Alright, that's great.' Daisy said. 'Now how does that help us deal with a giant sandcastle armed with working cannons?! Last time I checked, electricity had no effect on Ground-types.'

'Remember what the professor said about the Super Suction thing? It requires a source of electricity to work.'

'Your point be-?' She grinned. 'Oh, I gotcha!'

Luigi focused all his energy into his hand, every ball of electricity created lasting longer than the last. Serpci saw the mortals standing in the middle of the arena, and laughed.

'Have you given up?' She said. 'Have you realised that you cannot beat me? Surrender yourself to me, Luigi, and your princess friend will go free!'

'You're gonna have to kill me first!' Daisy declared.

'Yeah, that can be arranged.'

Luigi could feel the electricity getting stronger and stronger, yet requiring less effort each time. He just knew this plan could work! Then, he did. He sparked a ball of lightning in his palm, and this one stayed. It didn't even take much effort to sustain it either, though his glove didn't appreciate it so much.

'I did it... I did it!' He said.

'So you can summon lightning on will?' Daisy asked. 'And you're _not_ one of the most famous people in the world?'

'Uh, thanks? We should really be asking how I-'

Beyond his control, a surge of lightning leapt from the ball and connected to the Poltergust's engine. It drained the electricity quickly, requiring Luigi to exert more effort to upkeep it. The wheels on the Poltergust popped out, and the lights inside it glowed bright enough for it to shine through the solid plastic and metal. It revved like an old race car that was ready to win the race.

Except it was a car that sounded more like a Boeing 747.

'Oh sweet Luvbi!' Daisy yelled. 'Okay, Elvin was not kidding when he said that was loud.'

Generating the lightning ball took so much effort that Luigi dropped the Poltergust nozzle. It doubled in size as it fell to the ground. Over the loud engine sounds, he could hear Polterpup and Polterkitty demanding answers.

'**Why on Earth is that so freaking loud?!**'

'**Green Man, what does _that_ do?!**'

The sand cannons fired again. Polterpup dodged the cannonball aimed for him, but the second smacked Polterkitty in the chest. Yowling in pain, she dropped at Luigi's feet.

'GATTINA!'

Serpci bellowed. 'See what happens when you try to fight a ghost as powerful as I? I am the Queen of the Sands, and I shall remain as so for all of eternity! Join me, Luigi, and you shall be my King.'

Polterkitty ducked behind the humans and cowered. Never had the thought 'how do I use sand to flip someone off?' crossed Daisy's mind before. She snapped out of her silly questions when she saw how much Luigi was straining.

'Oh, Sweetie! Are you okay?'

'Y-Yeah, I-I'm fine. It's just taking a lot of effort to - NGH! - keep this charging! You're... you're gonna have to use the Poltergust for me.'

'Alright, I can do that.'

She picked up the nozzle and aimed it at the pharaoh staring down at them. The vibrations of it were strong enough to shake her arms.

'Poltiepup!' She yelled. 'If you know what's good for ya, you'll get out of the way right NOW!'

Though he still wanted to chomp Serpci's face off, Polterpup obeyed her order and hid behind them alongside Polterkitty.

Serpci giggled. 'Do you mortals really believe that your measly vacuum can destroy my grand sandcastle? I'd like to see you try!'

Daisy smirked. 'Oh yeah? Well, I'll show you the power of-!'

'JUST USE THE STUPID SUPER SUCTION THING ALREADY!' Luigi screamed.

'Oh. R-Right.'

Daisy pressed the 'suck' button on the enlarged Poltergust - as if things weren't risqué enough already - and no one quite expected what happened next. The usual tornado of air rushing into the invention was no longer tiny. Oh no. It was the size of Serpci's own sandcastle, so grand in its scale that the floor itself shook beneath them.

'HOLY RAVIOLI!' Luigi cried.

'SWEET LADY ROSALINA!' Daisy shouted.

The Polterpets had nothing to say. How could one speak when one's jaw was on the ground? Serpci could feel the suction pulling on her hair, and what little confidence she had draining away.

'Y-You think that will stop me?' She stammered. 'I-I-I am Queen S-Serpci. N-Nothing will stop me!'

Her confidence, if she had any left, could do nothing to save her castle. The grains that made up the walls were caught up in the Poltergust tornado, vanishing into it by the loads. It was as if it was just a regular sandcastle being blown away by an ocean breeze, not a previously impenetrable fortress.

'No... NO! NOOO!'

The grand stronghold was reduced to its pathetic state of being a mere heap, thanks to it collapsing in on itself, but Daisy was not done yet. Serpci tried to retreat back into the safety of her pyramid, but the massive tornado had her stuck in place.

'LET ME GO!'

The Super Suction practically laughed at the foundation, tearing straight through it. Daisy laughed too at the wonderful destruction. Better yet? Serpci had used every grain of sand to build that castle. With it gone, so was her sand. It only took a minute for the Poltergust to demolish the castle.

'YEAH!' Daisy yelled.

Luigi fell to his knees and sighed. He couldn't hold up the Thunderhand anymore, and it faded away. Had he kept it up for an extra second, he would have fainted. With its source of power gone, the Super Suction ceased, and the Poltergust returned to normal. All that remained in the massive room were the uncovered debris, the pyramid, and Serpci herself.

The poor, poor pharaoh lay on the bare floor, hyperventilating as she slowly realised that her one weapon was totally gone.

'Help me, Boss!' She yelled. 'I know I failed you, but WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME?!'

_How pathetic. I should've known a coward like you would fall to the green man, no matter how much I helped you. You're on your own now, honey._

Daisy's grip on the nozzle weakened, until it slipped out of her hand. She glanced back - those paranormal gates were still there.

'Luigi,' She said. 'She's your biggest fan. I can't be sure, but I think she might listen to you more than me.'

The plumber nodded, got to his feet, and approached the frightened queen. The look she gave him was not of anger or even fear. It was betrayal.

'Serpci, I-'

'GET AWAY FROM ME! D-Don't come near me with that w-weapon of yours! I-I thought you were a hero. How could you use that machine on me?!'

'Uh... you kidnapped me. And tried to kill my friend. I am going to fight back. Why did you do that?'

Serpci's heavy breathing slowed down, and she looked to the ground in shame.

'You won't believe me,' She said. 'And I won't blame you. But I would never do what I just did to you if I had the choice.'

Luigi sighed. 'It was Hellen Gravely, wasn't it?'

The pharaoh just nodded. 'She... she told me she would give me confidence. That she would make me brave. A h-hero like you would never like a coward like me.'

This statement shocked Luigi so much that he dropped the Poltergust nozzle.

'W-What?' He said. 'What made you think that?'

Serpci couldn't even look at him anymore, and faced the floor instead. She whimpered, and Luigi could see her tears falling to the ground.

'I-I'm terrified of everything, Luigi, kinda like you. But you face your fears. You battle on no matter what. Me though? I... I... I couldn't take it. An entire kingdom depended on me, but I couldn't handle it. My only friends were snakes. So, I...' She choked. 'I took the coward's way out.'

Luigi was no fool. He quickly pieced together the horrible story from what Serpci said and from E. Gadd's research. Tears came to his eyes; he was not about to repeat Kruller.

'Oh, Serpci...'

He brought her into an embrace, and she allowed his arms to make contact with her ethereal skin. With a huff, Daisy decided that she wasn't going to sit this one out anymore. She made sure to approach them quietly.

'Serpci, I-'

'EEK!'

Serpci jumped backwards onto the floor. Her orange cheeks turned a deep red. Perhaps approaching quietly was a bad idea.

'Oh, sorry!' Daisy said.

'N-No, i-i-it's alright.' Serpci stuttered. 'That, uh, that happens a lot.'

The princess knelt down, and looked the pharaoh in the eyes. 'Let me tell you about my boyfriend, Serpci. He couldn't give a poison mushroom if you're fearless or scared of your own shadow. He'll love you no matter what. Trust me, I would know.'

Serpci looked to Luigi. 'Is... is that true?'

Polterpup and Polterkitty, very slowly, joined up with their team mates. The plumber nodded, and gave Serpci a soft smile.

'Absolutely.' He said. 'And I don't have a lot of fans. So, if you're one of them, I really like you too.'

Serpci's blushing intensified. All sadness vanished from her face, and her smile grew larger than she realised it could.

'I can't believe it!' She squealed. 'My hero, my idol... HE LIKES ME!'

She took to the skies and flew around like a stunt plane, emitting high-pitched squeals that were just barely in human hearing range.

Luigi couldn't help squealing too. 'AWWW! She really likes me.'

'Ya don't say?' Daisy remarked.

Serpci's little fly around the room was only interrupted when she flew in to give Luigi a hug. Her excited squeals hurt his ears, but he didn't want to ruin it for her.

Daisy chuckled. 'So I guess dying was worth it so you could meet your idol, huh?'

Both Luigi and Serpci, to her shock, gave her death glares. She stepped back and held her hands up in defence.

'Daisy, really?' Luigi said.

'If I died any other way, maybe!' Serpci yelled. 'But my life was filled with horror and misery! I thought ending my life would end my suffering too, but... it just made it worse. So much worse. Even now, I have to deal with my boss, who no doubt will punish me greatly for fangirling over you.'

Daisy, hoping to make up for her very poor choice of words, lifted up the Poltergust nozzle with a grin.

'Well, then don't we have the solution for you!' She said, spinning it around. 'If you let us capture you in this thing, then we can get you to a containment unit that'll keep you safe from Hellen Gravely and her freaky mind tricks. Plus, your husband will be there!'

Serpci gasped. 'You... you mean my sweet William MacFrights?'

'Yep!' Luigi said. 'And I can do it myself. Once this entire mess is over, we can let you out.'

The pharaoh squealed again, but this time it got to a pitch where only the animals could actually hear it.

'Yes yes YES!' She cried. 'I'll take it! When you let me out, will you give me your autograph? Will you tell me all your heroic stories? Will you? WILL YOU?!'

Luigi blushed. 'Uh, yeah. Sure.'

'EEEEEEEEE!'

Luigi didn't even need to flash her. Heck, he didn't even need to press the suck button. Serpci folded her arms like she was going back into her sarcophagus, and squeezed herself into the nozzle until she disappeared. All four members flinched. The paranormal gates blocking the exit vanished.

'Uh, did she just...?' Daisy asked.

'I, uh, think she did.' Luigi replied.

The princess began to shiver. With the thrill of the battle now over, she could once again feel the freezing cold air on her skin.

She chuckled. 'Y-You know, when we f-first met her, I-I thought she w-was a crazy s-s-stalker or some-t-thing. C-Can you b-blame me, though? B-But I g-gotta say... anyone w-who's that b-big of a f-fan of L-Luigi is a f-f-friend of m-mine.'

Luigi's blushing grew even redder, to the extent that he seemed to be overheating. He pulled out the floor eleven button, holding it tight.

Daisy crossed her arms and groaned. 'GAH! I f-forgot how c-c-cold this p-place was! C-can we g-get g-going n-n-now?'

'Before we go to the next floor,' He said. 'I think we should return to the lab for another rest. These past couple floors have been awful, especially for you Daisy. Not to mention,' He glanced at the wound on his arm. 'I wanna make sure this and that bite won't get infected.'

'I-I ain't g-gonna argue w-with t-that for a m-m-moment. I f-feel like if I h-have to d-d-do this any l-longer without a r-rest, my h-heart will ex... ex... **explode**!'

So, the group made the return trip to E. Gadd's lab. Wherein, the professor finally explained the instant-ghost-transfer process, and asked how Luigi got a hold of his universal translator. And, after their second six-hour rest and the regrowth of Polterkitty's missing tails, it was off to the Twisted Suites.

* * *

**_SERPCI, THE FANGIRLING PHARAOH_**

_AGE - 39_

_GENDER - Female_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Suicide, caused by allowing a venomous snake to bite her_

_Serpci, a former queen, is actually a very timid ghost who hides her fear behind a cool and collected façade. Her anxiety became too much, leading her to suicide. Due to him dealing with fear far better than she ever did, she is a massive Luigi fangirl. The mere mention of his name gets her squealing._

* * *

**Author Notes - Yep! For no other reason beyond 'sure, why not?' the Super Suction was used during the Serpci boss fight! I plan to use it a bit more than it was in the game, if you couldn't tell.**

**I've been giving Daisy a lot of solo missions as of late, like the fight with Ug or the entirety of the Boilerworks. I have noticed, and though this isn't necessarily a _problem_ I plan to 'rectify' this.**

**And now it's off to the TWISTED SUITES! I just know that many of my readers are very excited. And so am I!**

* * *

_King Boo found that his minions were being rather... uncooperative._

_'Geez, if you go through with that, you'll be boned!' Boones said, sighing._

_Booccaneer rolled her eyes. 'Avast! Your insanity is beginnin' to shiver me timbers.'_

_Boosician laughed. 'Haha! You serious? Wait, you were? Let me laugh even harder. HAHAHA!'_

_'Thou mayest thinketh we willeth join?' Boo-At-Arms questioned, shaking his head. 'Thou be crazy!'_

_'Normally I'm up for some fun,' Boofuddler said, crossing her arms. 'But seriously! You've absolute lost it!'_

_The rest of the Boos agreed with her without any second thoughts. Booigi and AnuBoo cheered with each other, while Booducer and Booldog shared a laugh at their boss's expense. The others did not even acknowledge their king._

_King Boo could not bare to strike down his own Boos, but it had never been so tempting. Not that it mattered. After Hellen Gravely broke him out, he only needed her._


	26. Round the Twisted Suites

**Author Notes - If you guys thought _you_ were excited for this floor, you don't know just how THRILLED _I_ am! ****I haven't been giving any credit for my inspirations, which isn't so much me refusing to give credit but more so just forgetting. Whether or not that's any better is up to you. SO!**

**A****side from the obvious inspiration from TheGameNguyener and his great story 'Luigi's Mansion 3: Hotel Horror' (which you should totally read in addition to mine by the way), but credit has to be given to TAWOGfan2000 since the way they write their Boss Ghosts helped influence the way I wrote mine. As well, the storyline involving Mario's trauma at the hands of King Boo is inspired by Fantasyfan4ever's LM fanfic 'I'm Here For You', which you HAVE to read. Not because it's important to understand the plot points in my story, but because it's just that good.**

**This chapter is named after the Australian show _Round the Twist_, a show that I surprisingly don't hear much about.**

**Presto chango, HeroineXAlter has added a follow!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - ROUND THE TWISTED SUITES**

The electroshock collar around Grace's neck fell to the floor. After all, Grace couldn't wear it if she was no longer around. Charles and Sam stared at the collar in horror, the former almost breaking down into tears while the latter's jaw fell.

'Wonderful!' Hellen Gravely cheered. 'That coward is not a problem anymore. Now, what do you say about helping me find the other ghosts who ran away? In fact, why don't we start with the wimps in the Paranormal Productions?'

Sam clenched her fists. 'Not even if you paid me the value of this entire hotel, treasures included! Those ghosts are pacifistic and don't deserve your wrath.'

'Exactly.'

Sam looked to her husband. He seemed to be getting closer to breaking down with each passing second.

She scoffed. 'Well, we're not gonna do it! I bet you have no idea where our little Lou is. Not a single clue. So don't go thinking that your blackmail will work on us!'

Hellen giggled. 'Oh really? I received a report from Little Miss Ginny Kahdabrah, and - oh! Look who's coming now!'

Charles and Sam turned around to see a Slinker approaching them. And in his arms, was...

'LOU!'

* * *

They needed that rest. Big time. Daisy finally had the time to properly deal with her exhaustion, and Luigi had his wounds disinfected and bandaged up. Now, it was time to embark to the Twisted Suites. Before the doors to the eleventh floor even opened, our heroes could hear faint music that could only be described as 'a mystical circus'. When the doors did open up, the reason for the bizarre music became clear.

This elevator hall looked nothing like the previous ones. It was done up with many paintings and rugs, the former of which all depicted ghosts dressed as magicians. Almost everything, from the walls to the tables to the chairs, was a bright passionate red. It felt like waltzing into an amusement park attraction. The ceiling light was a glorious chandelier that enveloped everything in a beautiful sparkling light.

Not that anyone could focus on the gorgeous décor of the room, thanks to the three floating purple top hats flying about in circles around each other. Luigi nearly dropped his flashlight at the sight.

'Oh good lord...' Daisy muttered. 'Now what?'

The magical hats continued to loop in the air for a few more seconds, before they settled on their position. A sparkling puff of smoke popped out of the middle hat, and when it dissipated it revealed a ghost wearing the hat while spreading her arms out. This ghost appeared to be a young girl, no older than twelve, wearing a purple tuxedo the same shade as her impressive hat. She held a magic wand in her hand, and wore her blonde hair in a single ponytail.

Luigi and Daisy stepped back.

'Presenting...' The young ghost announced. 'Nikki!'

Nikki's audience waited with anticipation for her next move. Silence. For a few seconds, the only thing that happened was her expression slowly shifting to frustration.

'I said... Nikki!' She repeated.

Still nothing. She balled up her fists.

'Uh, not to interrupt,' Daisy said. 'But is that it?'

Nikki grumbled, and tapped her forehead with her wand. 'Oh for... NIKKI!'

The hat on the right shifted a bit, and a quiet 'oh, sorry' could be heard coming from it. It unleashed a puff of smoke, revealing another young ghost just like Nikki. Except this one was facing the wrong way.

'Lin...! Oh. Whoops.' She turned around. 'Lindsey!'

Lindsey looked almost identical to Nikki, to the point where she had to be her sister. The only difference was that she wore her hair in two long pigtails instead.

The third hat emitted a groan, and with no puff of smoke the third ghost simply popped out of it. No special effects at all.

'And Ginny.' She said, in the most annoyed tone she could manage.

Ginny had to be their sister too. Even the outfit was the same. Like before, the only difference to be seen was her hair. Though she had pigtails like Lindsey, they were much shorter, and she had a few extra strands of hair hanging off to the side of her forehead. All three also shared an accent - a very thick London one at that. Visitors from an olden Cap Kingdom, perhaps.

Nikki, without even turning around, sighed. 'Ginny, can we have a little more enthusiasm please?'

Ginny scoffed. 'Ya bloody kidding me? Not after Lindsey cocked it all up!'

Luigi gasped. And he thought _Daisy's_ language was bad! Ginny crossed her arms and faced away from her sisters, to which Nikki groaned.

'You serious?' She said. 'Come on, Ginny. Things go wrong with performances all the time. How many times have you, quote, cocked it all up?'

'I NEVER COCK IT UP!' Ginny yelled, before frowning and puffing up her cheeks.

Neither Nikki nor Lindsey seemed at all shocked at her petulant display. Lindsey played with her hands for a bit, before speaking in a very small voice.

'Sorry...'

'Yeah, you should be.' Nikki stated, nonchalantly.

Now _that_ got a shocked reaction out of Lindsey. She gasped, and then frowned. Looking at them gave Luigi an uneasy feeling. These triplets could not have been any older than twelve. No matter what had happened to them, it could not have been good.

'Beautiful performance.' Daisy said. 'Do you mind giving us the elevator button now?'

The eyes of all three triplets fell onto Luigi. Green hat, big nose, smooth moustache... he matched their boss's description perfectly. Nikki and Ginny narrowed their eyes and grinned like a cat playing with its next meal. Lindsey, on the other hand, smiled like she just saw a kitty. Which she did, but she wasn't looking at Polterkitty.

'Awww!' She said. 'He's so adorable!' She giggled.

Luigi blushed, and hoped that this was an innocent little kiddy crush at most.

Ginny snickered. 'Yeah! I bet he'd look even cuter on the wall!'

Lindsey gasped. 'But... that's mean!'

'I don't know what _you're_ talking about, Lindsey,' Nikki said. 'But I'm with Ginny on this one. And I'm thinking, that lady would look really pretty next to him!'

'That's mean too!' Lindsey whined. 'And look at them! They're hurt. They're all bandaged up. It would be mean to lock them away like that!'

Nikki and Ginny paid their youngest sister no mind, treating her like she wasn't there at all. Lindsey tried to speak up multiple times, only to get interrupted.

'That's-'

'What do you think, Ginny?' Nikki asked. 'Should we just hand him over to the Boss now?'

'We shouldn't-'

Ginny laughed. '_Hell_ no! I don't know about you, but methinks we should have a little fun with 'im first.'

'Oh, I like f-!'

'Now now, GinGin. _I_ am the leader, remember? So I say what we do.'

The triplets stood still for a moment, with Nikki pondering, Ginny pouting, and Lindsey smiling at the adorable man.

'Uh...' Daisy said. 'Are any of you going to-'

'BOO!'

Nikki suddenly got up in their faces, laughing as she flailed her arms about. Luigi and Daisy screamed and fell to the floor, and even their ghostly pets jumped back. The two older triplets giggled, and Ginny even pointed at them as she laughed. In fact, she laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes. Lindsey stood back, frowning.

Daisy groaned. 'You serious?!'

Nikki regained her composure, even as Ginny continued to laugh. 'Serious? Why, it's just a little game. Do you want to play a game?'

'No.' Luigi answered. 'Not re-'

'Wonderful! And you'll love this game. All you have to do is navigate our twisted floor and find us! Good luck!'

The eldest of the triplets soared like an airplane through the door on the left, laughing as she phased through it.

'Have fun, ya bloody gits!' Ginny yelled as she followed Nikki through the wall.

Lindsey remained in her spot for a bit, smiling at Luigi's cuteness, before she turned her head and saw her sisters missing. It took an extra second for her to understand the situation.

'EEK!' She yelped. 'D-Don't leave me behind, please.'

'Then hurry the hell up, you bloody pillock!' Ginny yelled from the other side of the door.

'Y-Yes, Ginny. Coming, Ginny!'

The youngest of the triplets held onto her hat and flew through the door. A magic wand fell from her pocket right as she was doing through, and she had to reach her arm back out to pick it up again.

'Oh goody.' Daisy muttered as she helped herself and Luigi get to their feet. 'And I thought the twins were bad enough. Now we've got triplets. Fantastic.'

She approached the door they disappeared into and reached for the doorknob. Only then did she realise that the door wasn't actually a door, but instead a hanging carpet meant to look like one.

'Really?'

She ripped it off the wall, and couldn't anymore annoyed that there was not a real door behind it but just a small hole in the wall.

'Did you really think it'd be that easy?' Luigi asked.

'No, but I sure as heck hoped.' She peered through the hole. 'Wait, I can see them...'

She bore witness to the three hats, owners invisible, flying around a small bathroom. They travelled in a loop while spinning like a record. Everything broke apart when one of the hats stopped, causing the one behind to crash into it. The third hat in the back 'skidded' to a stop before it could add to the accident.

'Oh, for the love of Rosalina!' Ginny yelled as she popped out of the middle hat. 'You're useless as all balls, Lindsey!'

Lindsey appeared from the hat that had stopped, and gave her middle sister a fearful look. 'I-I'm sorry. I-I was just thinking about that-'

'Well STOP thinking about whatever it is you think about, and think about bloody PERFORMING!'

The third hat sighed, and Nikki emerged from it. She had her arms crossed, and rubbed her forehead with her wand.

'Ginny, you-'

'All you have ta do is stay in time, and you can't even bloody do that!'

Nikki got between her younger sisters and pushed them apart. Lindsey smiled while Ginny just pouted.

'Now now, girls.' Nikki said. 'No need to fight with each other.'

'But I wasn't-' Lindsey tried to defend herself.

'Let's all just get along and work together, hm?'

Ginny scoffed. 'With you bloody tossers?'

'Ginny, language.'

Polterpup peeped through the hole too, and growled at the triplets. Daisy grumbled; to say the least, she did not feel like going the long way when the triplets were right there.

'Alright, I'm done with this.' She murmured.

She dug her hands into the little hole, with the lights on the gloves glowing bright, tugged on the wood and ripped out a massive chunk from the wall.

Luigi yelped. 'Don't do that!'

Daisy ignored his warning, and tossed the wooden chunk to the floor behind her. She tore away another piece almost as big, and even Polterpup managed to bite off a little bit and eat it.

'I'm coming in, girls!' Daisy declared as she dismantled one last slab and chucked it away.

What remained was a hole more than big enough to contain a door. The triplets stood on the other side, with Lindsey and Ginny hiding behind their leader. Polterkitty yowled, but no one paid her any attention. Polterpup growled at the girls, while Daisy stood with her arms on her hips.

'Alright, I don't wanna hurt you girls.' She said. 'So hand that elevator button over to me now, and I'll spare you.'

Nikki giggled. 'Oh, what a shame. It appears that you and your doggy have disobeyed the rules of our game. Ginny, tell them what they've done wrong.'

Ginny gave her a death glare and pouted again. Regardless, she cleared her throat and puffed out her chest.

'Rule 16 of the Twisted Sisters game: Participants must navigate the full path to our location.' She explained. 'Only official shortcuts are permitted. And tearing through one of the bloody walls is definitely not one of them.' By this point, Daisy had her arms crossed and was rolling her eyes. 'And, as per rule 3, anyone who breaks any of the other rules must be punished.'

'What are you gonna do? Pull a coin out from behind my ear?'

Nikki chuckled, almost to the point of guffawing. 'That's not fun at all! Now watch, as the amazing Nikki makes this princess and her pooch... disappear!'

She waved her wand around in the air, and it emitted a mass of pink flower-shaped sparks.

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Wait, WHAT?!'

'Arf?!'

'Poochie and princess, I hope you lead an ear. To my spell that'll make you disappear!'

Nikki pointed her wand at the princess and the canine, and consumed them in a big puff of pinkish smoke.

'Daisy!' Luigi yelled, running across the room.

The smoke cloud disappeared, and took Daisy and Polterpup with it. Nothing remained of them.

Luigi fell to his knees. 'Daisy... Polterpup...'

Lindsey, in a moment of her conscious biting her hard, floated up to the sad man and pat him on the shoulder. Though the faces of her sisters showed nothing but malice and contempt, hers showed kindness and sympathy.

'It's okay, Green Man.' She said. 'Your friends aren't really gone. They've just been poofed somewhere in this floor.'

Luigi's eyes lit up. 'Wait, really?'

'Yep!' She scratched her head. 'But I'm not quite sure where, exactly.'

This elicited groans out of both her sisters. Ginny gave her a 'backwards peace sign', while Nikki put her hand to her forehead.

'Damnit Lindsey!' Ginny cried. 'Telling him that removes all the fun!'

'Look, whatever.' Nikki said. 'It doesn't matter. If you wanna see your friends again, you gotta beat our game the legal way. Go the long way by navigating the rooms and solving puzzles. Some rooms may not be entirely necessary to win, and may be skipped if you know the right way. Have fun!'

With another wave of her wand, paranormal gates doubled up and blocked the quick way in. Both her and Ginny mockingly laughed at them, but Lindsey just frowned.

'We await your arrival!'

Luigi clenched his fists. 'Why are you doing this?'

'Duh!' Nikki replied. 'Cos it's fun!'

The plumber never thought he'd feel such anger towards kids. Not even Henry and Orville from the original mansion got this kind of a feeling out of him, but that may have been because they only messed with _him_ and not his friends. Polterkitty grabbed him by the seat of his pants and dragged him away, before he could get himself killed or poofed away.

'Polterkitty?' Nikki questioned. 'What are you doing here? And why the heck are you helping _him_ out?'

The Panthergeist growled in response.

Ginny laughed. 'I can't believe it. Ms Gravely actually disowned you! HA!'

Polterkitty growled more, this time harsher. Otherwise, she ignored their words. As if Master would ever disown her.

'Hello, Pudding!' Lindsey said, waving. 'Wanna cuddle?' ***SMACK*** 'OW!'

'Ya bloody Duck Hunt!'

Polterkitty didn't stop dragging Luigi until they had reached the other wall. He knelt down to her level, and gave a quick scratch behind the ear.

'Okay Gattina, it's just us for now.' He said. 'Is this game a regular thing with those girls, or did they just make it up now?'

'**Oh... you have no idea. They play this game with anyone who steps into this floor, whether they be a mortal or a ghost. The ghosts find it annoying, but the mortals usually don't come back alive.**'

'Well that's a good omen.'

'**Well, that's usually just because of the, um, surprise at the end. But I know the way around, so you'll be okay. Starting with...**'

She walked over to the spot parallel to the paranormal gates, where there was seemingly a bookshelf standing against the wall. Like the door, it turned out to be a mere cloth that Polterkitty tore clean off. Unlike the tarp with the door, there was seemingly just a blank wall behind this one.

'Erm, how does that help?' Luigi asked.

'**There's a door here.**' Polterkitty said. '**But thanks to those wispy ball things, it's intangible.**'

He snapped his fingers. 'Oh, I see! So I just have to use my Dark-Light.'

He shone the rainbow-y light on the wall, and lo and behold the mystical silhouette of a door appeared. Five Spirit Balls emerged from it, but Luigi made quick work of them. Once he did, the door reappeared. He gave the kitty a soft stroke on the head, to which she purred.

'I'm glad you're here.' He said. 'You'll make this endeavour a little less difficult.'

Polterkitty said nothing, and just revelled in the affection. So warm! So nice! So sweet!

'Let's not waste too much time. Wherever they are, Daisy and Polterpup are counting on us.'

She did not want the cuddle time to end, but it simply wasn't the time. Luigi opened the door, let her through first and only went in after her.

This room had a more reddish-indigo look to it, but otherwise didn't look too different from the Elevator Hall. The bed and the drawers made it clear this was one of the bedrooms. The otherwise normal-looking room had a big target mounted on the wall, and a long wooden box on a table in the middle of the floor. The box had a saw jammed into it.

Luigi shone his flashlight across every corner of the room. That target on the wall gave him bad vibes. He had to choose between a door right in front of him, or the one to the far right.

'**This room is simple.**' Polterkitty said. '**The left door just leads to a bathroom. The right door lets us skip that room entirely, so we should-**'

The sound of metallic rattling hit her ears. The metal cabinet that rested in the nearby corner shook about, and opened up its multiple drawers at one. Shiny sharp tips peeked out.

'**LOOK OUT!**'

Polterkitty pushed him to the floor, right as swords emitting a pinkish glow flew out of the cabinet and passed where his head would've been. They pointed their sharp tips at the target, and zoomed towards it like they were arrows. They emerged from their home one at a time, and many popped out and jabbed themselves into the now-rotating target. By the time they had stopped, they revealed not some random shape but what appeared to be a silhouette of Luigi himself.

He got to his hands and knees. 'Did... did those swords nearly-?!'

'**Yep. I forgot that was a thing.**'

He wiped his brow. 'Right. You were saying? The door on the right?'

'**Uh, yeah. That door. It's our best bet. Assuming you wanna get through this as quickly as possible.**'

'Absolutely.'

As Polterkitty lead him over to the next door, he thought about how weird it was to be relying on the pet of Hellen Gravely to help him out. As far as he was aware, though, she was the _former_ pet of Ms Gravely.

The door opened up to a hallway, most of which they didn't even need to bother with as the next door was right in front of them. Though, Luigi could've sworn he saw that carpet from some horror movie. Pictures of various ghosts - such as a Slinker pulling a rabbit out of his hat or an Oozer sending her cards flying - hung from the walls. A bin stood next to the door.

Wait, was that a pearl in that cage up there?

'Oh, the next door's right there!' Luigi said, reaching for the handles.

Polterkitty shuddered. She could feel a familiar vibe coming from the bin. It felt similar to her own vibes, and almost identical to those of the special Spirit Balls she could create. Wait, scratch that 'almost' part. Thanks to the energy of the pink Spirit Balls within it, the bin sprung to life with a ferocious roar. It grew two glowing white 'eyes' on its lid, and lifted its lid up to reveal a row of sharp teeth. It hissed and growled like an angry Chain-Chomp, and lunged at the frightened plumber.

'AHH!' He yelped as he jumped back, tripping over his own feet and falling backwards.

The bin slammed into the floor, creating a small shockwave that just barely tapered off before it could hit Luigi. He, in a burst of panic, used his Strobulb on the rubbish beast. It didn't react to it at all.

'**GET AWAY FROM HIM!**'

Polterkitty delivered a headbutt into the sentient bin, and slammed it into the wall. It kicked and squirmed about, seemingly oblivious to how she had it pinned.

'**You are my creation, and I can surely destroy you too!**'

She knocked it to the floor onto its 'back', where it wiggled about like a Koopa who had fallen and couldn't get up. All that went on in its 'mind' was bloodlust.

'P-Polterkitty, what in the heck-?!'

'**That doesn't matter! It's down. It can't go through doors, so hurry!**'

Luigi climbed to his feet and rushed through the door. For a moment, he feared what would happen if he left Polterkitty behind, but she followed after him not a second later. She slammed the door shut behind them.

He underwent vertigo just looking at this bedroom. A ceiling fan on the floor? A table and chairs on the ceiling? A bed up against the wall? Every bit of furniture seemed to obey its own law of gravity.

The plumber wiped his brow. 'Uh, you said that thing was your creation. Care to explain how?'

'**Errr...**'

Luckily for her, the conversation came to an abrupt stop with the sound of a young girl singing.

'AAAAA very merry unbirthday to you! A very merry unbirthday to me! Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea!'

The singing came from the upside-down table, where none other than the Twisted Sisters sat. Lindsey sang cheerily as she poured her sisters some gravity-defying tea. Nikki happily sipped her, while Ginny looked to be about ready to strangle them both.

'Come on, Ginny!' Nikki said, giving her a pat on the back. 'Just enjoy your tea like the rest of us.'

'Hmph! I'll enjoy this bloody tea once the both of you sod off!'

The eldest triplet rolled her eyes. 'Ginny, _language_.'

'I'LL USE WHATEVER BLOODY LANGUAGE I WANT!' Ginny yelled, slamming her hand on the table.

Lindsey just giggled. 'Aw, you feeling grumpy today? That's okay. I'll give you some extra sugar. After all, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Medicine go down. Medicine go down!'

Ginny pulled at her own pigtails. 'SWEET JAYDES, KILL ME A SECOND TIME!'

Luigi and Polterkitty stood still, apparently with the thought process that the girls were like snakes and based their sight on movement. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. Lindsey's eyes fell into Luigi, and she smiled and waved.

'Hey look, it's that adorable Green Man! Hi there!'

All Luigi could do was wave back sheepishly.

Ginny sighed in relief. 'Good. Anything to get me away from this bloody tea party...'

Nikki giggled, and flew out of her seat. She still floated upside-down like the ceiling was the floor.

'Now now now, look at this.' She said. 'I guess the guy really wanted to join us.' She turned to Ginny. 'You wanna have some fun, dear GinGin?'

Ginny lifted her magic wand, and cursed something about her nickname under her breath. Her wand emitted blue lightning-shaped sparkles as she waved it around.

'And now,' She chanted. 'My plumber and big Polterkitty. Walk on the ceiling as you defy gravity!'

She pointed her wand at our remaining heroes, and those same blue sparkles surrounded them both. Whatever vertigo Luigi already felt just got a lot worse. The world became a blur, and his feet left the ground. He felt like he was on a rollercoaster, a sensation he and his sensitive stomach would never like. Once he had gotten over the desire to puke out his own intestines, he came back to the world to find that the ceiling fan was now correctly on the ceiling.

Because now _he_ was on the ceiling, looking down at the floor. And there was that icky feeling in his stomach again.

'AH!'

It should not have affected a ghost, but thanks to the magic in her pendant Polterkitty found herself on the ceiling too.

'Mirow?!'

Ginny laughed like a schoolyard bully. 'You gits don't know what you're up against!'

Luigi turned green around the gills. Now he remembered why he didn't want to accompany Mario on that first space mission.

Lindsey gasped. 'But he's done nothing wrong! Why are you being so mean?'

'Boss's orders.' Nikki said. 'Didn't you hear? Her news is kinda hard to miss when it goes straight to your head.'

'Orders? What orders?'

Polterkitty growled and hissed at them, to which none of them reacted at all. The three just left their teacups behind and flew through the door on the right. Or was it the left? Luigi couldn't tell anymore. The unoccupied teacups fell to the floor. The _real_ floor.

Luigi moaned. 'Aw, please don't tell me we have to do the entire floor like this.'

'**I hope not.**' Polterkitty said. '**I'm feeling ill...**'

With very good timing, one of the triplets stuck her head back through the door. Lindsey frowned at the sight.

'Aw, you poor things.' She said. 'I'll help you out!'

Her arm joined her head, and held her own magic wand. As she waved it about, it emitted green heart-shaped sparkles that flickered and faded.

'Green cutie and adorable little kitty, once again obey the laws of gravity!'

The blue particles surrounding the duo disappeared, and both Luigi and Polterkitty plummeted to the floor.

'Owie!'

Polterkitty's innate reflex helped her land on her feet, but Luigi hit the ground back first. Thank goodness the restored gravity had some time to re-orientate him; otherwise, he'd have hit his head.

'AH, sorry!' Lindsey cried. 'I was supposed to make it so the fall was slow. Sorrysorrysorry! Oh, I'm not very good with magic yet...'

Luigi grunted, feeling like an old man whose back just went out. 'That's... that's okay. It was only an accident.'

'Oh, I'd help you out, but I think my sisters want ME-!'

Someone, most likely Ginny, yanked her back through the door without even asking for permission. It left Luigi wondering, why was Lindsey seemingly so much nicer than her sisters? Or was she just pretending to be sweet to catch him off guard? He wasn't going to take any chances. If there was a possibility of her being nice, he couldn't simply attack her.

'**Get off the floor and let's get going.**' Polterkitty said. '**Those girls are impatient. Especially Ginny.**'

* * *

'Deserts, forests, endless streams... this is what we call geography...'

Once the pink smoke cloud of death cleared away from Daisy's eyes, she did not at all expect what she saw. She was in a room, still on that floor judging by the whimsical aesthetic but nothing like the elevator hall. Adopting a more purply look for its walls and floor, hardly any of the carpet could be seen underneath the newspapers scattered across it everywhere. There was a piggy bank on the bed, and Daisy could see many animal cages containing ravens and rats.

And was that a little runway for the rats, set up along the walls? One that went through several golden loops too.

'Yeah, okay.' At this point, she was out of Poison Mushrooms to give.

'Arf arf!'

To her relief, Polterpup had been teleported to the same room as her. He stood on his hindlegs in the middle of the room, staring up a bird cage sitting on a table. There was no bird to be seen within it, but instead a key hanging by a hook.

'I have no idea why, but I feel like I'll need this key later. Better pick it up, just in case.'

But, when she reached to grab it, she found herself groaning as those confounded pink Spirit Balls emerged from the floor.

'Ugh... these things again?'

'Arf?'

'Yeah, it's a bit of a story.'

The pink wisps floated around aimlessly, before zipping into the key itself. The golden object emitted a rosy colour.

'Oh lord, what are you gonna do?'

The key proceeded to do just about the last thing either Daisy or Polterpup expected - it took the shape of a very fluffy and very shiny golden rabbit with glowing pink eyes. It made vaguely mewing sounds as it glanced around the room. It hopped out of its cage and onto the floor, where it appeared to be begging for lettuce.

'AWW!' Daisy cooed, against her better judgement. 'That's adorable!'

Polterpup gave her a look, one that said 'did you just forget that was a key two seconds ago'. She returned to reality when the bunny leapt off the table and ran away.

'Hey, hey!' She yelled. 'I need you!'

She pursued the metallic rabbit around the room, only to find that it managed to just barely exceed her speed. Polterpup watched her make an idiot out of herself as she chased after a target that could not stop.

She stopped to catch her breath. 'I think... I'm starting... to HATE... bunnies now!'

Polterpup decided to give it a quick try, but even he couldn't quite catch up to it. Daisy glanced around the room, hoping she could find something to catch it with. Her eyes fell upon an upside-down top hat resting on the bed, and a proverbial light bulb went off.

'A-ha!'

She picked up the top hat, and showed it off to Polterpup. She took care to make sure he could see that it was empty.

'Do you see how this ordinary hat is empty? Well then feast on your eyes on this trick, as the Amazing Daisy pulls a rabbit out of it!'

She didn't need a translation to know what Polterpup was thinking. It was obvious in his incredulous look. It had to be something along the lines of: 'What the heck kinda glue have you been sniffing?'

'Hey, if we're gonna go through hell, we might as well make the most of it.'

Not wanting any more of his silent snark, she reached her arm into the hat and managed to get her entire arm up to her shoulder in. After a little bit of fiddling around, she grabbed something that felt like shredded steel. She pulled her arm back out, and through some magic she had no hope of understanding the golden bunny was now squirming in her hand. It wasn't fighting back particularly hard.

'Ta-da!'

'YIP?!'

'Heck if I know, but it worked. That's all that matters. Now, how do we get out of here?'

Polterpup barked and ran over to one of the walls. He sat on some red carpet that appeared to be embedded in the wall.

'Um... is there a door there?'

The spectral hound nodded. Daisy slumped her shoulders.

'Uh, problem. I can't see it. It needs to be dark-lighted, and without Luigi and his Poltergust...'

She narrowed her eyes. After that mishap with the portrait, she did not feel like having to wait for Luigi again. With the bunny tucked under her arm, she reached for the door that seemingly wasn't there. Sliding her hand around, she could felt the bumps and valleys of a door. Feeling around a little bit more, she found what felt like the door handle. It could move in her hand. She turned it, and pulled. Whatever she had grabbed onto was anchored to the wall and moved in an arc.

'Yip yip! Yip YIP!' Polterpup cheered.

'Wait, so I actually opened it?'

'YIP!'

Polterpup jumped through where Daisy assumed the open door was. All she could see was a solid wall. The real question was - could _she_ go through the invisible door? With a gulp, she inched her foot forward. It went right through the wall like it wasn't there. Which, of course, it truly wasn't.

'Sweet!'

With no regrets whatsoever, she leapt into the 'wall' and went straight through it like she was a ghost herself. On the other side, she was greeted by another hanging cloth that she was trapped under. She ripped it off from its spot and threw it to the floor.

'Alright! I don't even need that Dark-Light thingy anymore! ... Now where am I?'

She and Polterpup had ended up in a small bathroom, one that looked totally normal once one ignored the shower filled up to the brim with water and covered by chains with padlocks. The sight of it made Daisy cringe.

'Okay, either I've just discovered how someone died or someone on the floor is into some... freaky stuff.' She paused. 'Good for them, I guess?'

The bathroom had a second door, the thought of which made Daisy uncomfortable. No bathroom should ever have more than one door. But hey, it gave her another way out of this mini-hellhole - until she opened it. It opened directly to the back of a vending machine, one that took up the entire doorway. Her expression was not of anger or even annoyance; it was more 'yeah, that seems about right'.

'Really?' She sighed. 'Poltiepup, I'm gonna start talking about why I unironically love Bubble Gusties. I want you to insult it in any way you can.'

'Arf?'

'Just do it, okay!'

* * *

Luigi found where the triplets did their performing. It was like a mini-Great Stage, but with a reddish-brown motif. The stage in the middle of the room was decorated with purple curtains that were currently open, bright stage lights, and a sign of an upside-down purple top hat. It had a staircase on the left leading up to it, hidden by a concession bar stacked with popcorn. Two hanging chandeliers flooded the room with light, and a few tables had been set up to enjoy the show.

Luigi shuddered. Aside from the 'whimsical circus' music playing in the background, everything was way too quiet. The smell of popcorn just made him hungry.

'**See that door over there?**' Polterkitty said, pointing to the one at the other side of the long room. '**That's where we wanna go next.**'

They had only made it halfway through the scarily silent room when a familiar purple cloud of smoke poofed on the stage.

Luigi jumped. 'Aw, now what?'

Lindsey and Ginny emerged from the cloud, flying in a little infinity symbol before coming to a stop. The sparkles vanished and revealed a top-hat floating on its own. Nikki popped out of it with a glorious 'TA-DAH!', and the hat disappeared into smoke from beneath her. The younger triplets held their arms out, pointing mostly at their leader. Polterkitty sat down and smiled, apparently just happy to be witnessing the show.

'Our next trick will be a simple one!' Nikki said. 'A good old classic. But there's nothing wrong with old tricks. They're classics for a reason!' She pointed at Luigi with her wand. 'You, sir! May you please step forward?'

Luigi gulped. 'Uh, a-alright.' He said as he followed the direction.

Nikki waved her wand around. 'Now sir, don't be angry and don't be sour. Because I shall present you with...'

She jabbed her wand into his face, until it was only a few inches away from his nose. He flinched, fearing that it would jab him in the eye. Nothing of the sort happened.

'A flower!'

A flower popped out of the end of the wand, and blossomed into Luigi's face. Just one problem - it was a Glowing Hibiscus. It only took a second for its sparkling pollen to cloud his face. His eyes stung and watered, and he felt like it was drilling into his sinuses.

'_AAAH-CHOOOO!_'

He stepped away from the hyperallergenic flower, sniffling and wiping his stinging eyes. Polterkitty snarled at the girls, the fur on her back standing up.

Lindsey gasped. 'Aw, he's allergic! We should do the trick again with a different flower.'

To her shock, Nikki and Ginny just laughed at the sniffly man. She couldn't believe her sisters.

'That's the point!' Nikki said. 'It wouldn't be funny if he wasn't sneezing up a storm.'

Ginny snickered. 'Yeah! Don't be so daft. That's why the bloody joke is funny to begin with. We chose those glowing thingies for a reason, ya blooming divvy!'

Lindsey puffed up her cheeks and frowned. 'Hey, that's mean! Why are you being so mean? How would you like it if I did something like that to you?'

'Pfft, yeah right.' Ginny said, rolling her eyes. 'You're such a bloody pushover, you'd trip on the air if you had any feet. Not to mention that you're pants at doing magic.'

Lindsey's brave face deflated, figuratively and literally. She fiddled with the wand in her hands, unable to look at her sisters at all.

'You've nearly won the game, Sir!' Nikki announced. 'Only a few more rooms to go, and you will have beaten our challenge! Cheerio, old chap.'

They disappeared into their hats and zoomed towards the next room. Lindsey waited a second before following her sisters, and lagged behind them considerably.

Luigi narrowed his bloodshot eyes. 'Do they always treat Lindsey like that?'

'**Ginny does all the time.**' Polterkitty said. '**But she usually doesn't mean it. Nikki typically isn't mean to Lindsey at all. It must be Master's doing.**'

'But if it was Ms Gravely's mind tricks, then why is Lindsey not affected? Is she just pretending to be nice or something?'

'**Lindsey? Sweet Jaydes, no! She's always been one of nicest souls I've ever met. But I don't want to think that her sisters are being mean on purpose. I dunno, maybe Master is forcing Lindsey to act nice to throw you off or something?**' She prayed that was a convincing enough lie.

Whatever the answer to this was, Luigi refused to let that stop him. He and Polterkitty made their way over to the next door, but when he tried to turn the handle he found that it would barely budge.

'Oh great.' He muttered. 'It's locked. Got any idea where the key could be?'

'**Um, maybe in the-**'

Their conversation got interrupted by the vending machine at the back left corner being slammed to the floor and shattering on the ground. Behind it was a door, and through that was a Daisy and a Polterpup. The former had her fist out in front, while the other looked terrified for his afterlife. The princess had an odd golden rabbit tucked under her arm.

'Oh, Luigi!' She cried. 'That's where you were.'

Despite his shock over the shattered remains of the vending machine, his heart soared at the sight of her again. Polterpup ran towards Polterkitty, yipping excitedly.

'**Kitty, kitty!**' He yipped. '**Oh, am I happy to see you!**'

Polterkitty flinched as the doggo got a little closer than she expected. Slowly, she managed to smile for the tail-wagging dog.

'Uh, what's with the bunny?' Luigi asked.

'It used to be a key, believe it or not.' Daisy replied, walking through the remains of the machine. 'Before some pink Spirit Balls morphed it into, uh, this thing.'

'Pink Spirit Balls?'

'I dunno either. The point is, we need to get it to turn back into a key. Got any ideas? Mine's to shove it into the lock, so whatever you come up with has got to be better.'

She held it out in front of her with both hands. It squirmed in her grasp, but only a little. It seemed only slightly aware of what was going on.

'Uh, you said it changed because of pink Spirit Balls, right?' Luigi asked.

'Yeah.' Daisy said. 'You onto something?'

'Maybe the Dark-Light Device will help.'

'Ooh, yeah. Shine it, Sweetie!'

Luigi bathed the bunny with the rays of the rainbow flashlight. That same oily glow that covered invisible objects enveloped the creature, and soon five pink Spirit Balls flew out of it. They floated around in a ring, becoming quick victims to the Poltergust. Once every Spirit Ball was gone, the bunny disappeared and a key took its place in Daisy's hands.

'Oh sweet!' She said, apparently not caring that the key was alive just two seconds ago. 'Kay, so now we know that these weird pink ball objects can be un-pink-balled with the Dark Light.' She paused, staring at the key. 'Wait, so do we actually need this key?'

'Actually, we do.' Luigi answered, pointing the door. 'Polterkitty says we need to go through this door, but it's locked.'

'That's it? Easy, easy, easy!'

She jabbed the once-living key into the keyhole, turned it, and watched it disappear into the lock.

'You know, I'd love to make a snarky comment.' She said. 'But I know that it would make our chances of success plummet, because Queen Jaydes likes to mock the haughty.'

Daisy opened the door, and...

'EEP!'

She jumped back in horror at the sight.

'Daisy?! What's wrong?' Luigi asked.

She stared at the being in front of her, and blush overtook her cheeks. 'Oh... it's just my reflection...'

Polterpup snickered behind her, but stopped the moment Luigi gave him his signature death stare.

'It's alright, Daisy.' Luigi said. 'I've been scared by my own reflection too. Many, many times...'

It was not just a simple mirror that frightened the princess with her own image, but instead a giant block of glass that the king-sized bed rested on, nearly touching the ceiling. The entire room had a brownish-magenta vibe to it, and aside from the massive glass slab looked like a regular bedroom - except for the little tea table. The teapot appeared to be floating by its infinitely-pouring tea, but in reality the 'tea' was made of solid plastic.

'Were the people who made this floor actively trying to make it as weird as possible?' Daisy asked. 'Wait, on second thought, don't answer. Whether ghosts built this place or just took it over, they just want to be as annoying as possible.'

If it wasn't for our heroes seeing their own reflections, it would seem as though the bed were floating on its own. Which, frankly, wouldn't be too shocking in a place like the Last Resort.

Daisy peered around the glass, and saw another door opposite to the one they went through. 'Okay, I found a door. Is that the one we're supposed to go through?'

Polterkitty shook her head, and headed for the wall in between the two doors. Red curtains akin to ones you'd see on a real stage hung from the ceiling. She sunk her teeth into one of them and ripped it off its rails. The actual next door lay behind it.

'Geez, these girls are tricky.' Daisy remarked.

'Did you have to rip them off?' Luigi asked. 'There had to have been a better way of doing that.'

'Oh, who cares? I'm gonna send a demolition crew after this place after this is all over anyway. Forget about the minor damages and let's get going!'

Daisy pushed the other curtain aside and ran straight through the door with the most zeal she had that night. Her possible reign of destruction upon the ghosts came to a swift and rather ridiculous end as an oversized top hat fell from the ceiling and fell on top of her head. It managed to encapsulate her body all the way down to her knees. Her muffled cry of surprise and frustration could just barely be heard. Polterpup laughed again, and this time Luigi couldn't help but chuckle a little. Just a little, of course.

'My arms are stuck!' She cried. 'Help me out here!'

Luigi approached the stuck princess and activated a burst. Aside from making her tumble around a bit, the hat went flying off her and landed upside-down on the floor.

She kicked it over. 'On a good vacation, a little thing like that wouldn't matter at all. But on a vacation that makes you want to decapitate yourself, the little problems and the big problems all just blend together into a mess.'

This room was just a small hall that branched off to the left, but that didn't matter. Polterkitty scratched at the door right in front of them, meowing.

'She says we're getting close.' Luigi translated. 'Just a couple more rooms to go.'

Daisy wiped her brow. 'Good. Cos I'm sick of this confusing place.' She said as she opened the door.

They could practically feel the presence of the triplets as they stepped into the subdued-red room. Unlike the ones before it, this room was rather empty. Most of it consisted of a hexagonal wooden 'stage' in the floor with nothing on it, surrounded by a few candles and a mattress leaned up against the wall.

'I don't know why,' Daisy said. 'But I have a strong inkling that this will be where our inevitable battle takes place.'

She stepped onto the middle of the stage, where upon a spotlight turned on and shined on her. The origin of the light seemingly did not exist.

'Come at meh, girlies!' She declared, puffing out her chest. 'I can definitely-probably-maybe (possibly?) take you on, three-to-one!'

A few seconds of nothing passed. Upon realising that her 'friends' had not come to visit, she groaned.

'It just can't be easy, can it? Or would that be defined as cheating?' Her eyes fell upon the - hopefully - final door on her right. 'Well, if they won't come to me, I'll gladly come to them.'

As if the door itself were listening, it opened up on its own with nothing but blue lightning-shaped particles surrounding it.

'Welp,' Daisy said. 'I was never one to refuse an invitation. _Clearly_.'

By sheer luck it felt like, our quartet had finally arrived into the bathroom that Daisy had tried to break into before. The hole from her failed attempt remained. And, just like before, the Twisted Sisters were awaiting their arrival. Their hats were off and floating on their tops in front of them. Like before, Nikki stood in the middle with her younger sisters by her sides.

'Hi there!' Daisy greeted. 'I am the princess of Sarasaland, and I am here to prove that I am not above beating up children if need be.'

Nikki giggled. Ginny laughed alongside her, while Lindsey was too busy 'aww'ing at the green-clad man.

'But Ma'am, our tricks are not done yet.' Nikki said. 'We have so many we want to show you! Wouldn't be a shame to end our fun so soon?'

'No, not really.'

'I'm so glad you agree! So my sisters and I will present to you a few more magical tricks! We hope you enjoy them. Now watch, as my sisters and I summon objects from our hats!' Nikki waved her wand above her hat. 'Now my headwear, do something quite funny. Let me pull out from you a cute fluffy bunny!'

Raising her wand into the air, she made a stuffed bunny toy rise from her hat. Lindsey cooed at the adorable plush, before performing the trick herself.

'Now, my cute little topper, do something to impress! From your magical pit, pull out... uh, something, I guess?'

Despite her faltering on the chanting part of the spell, much to the annoyance of Ginny, something had indeed emerged from the cap. It was... a couple of vinyls? Daisy and Ginny groaned at almost the same time.

'Look at that!' Lindsey cried, her smile as wide as a mile. 'I did it! It worked!'

'You pulled out some vinyls.' Ginny remarked.

'I know, right! I told the hat to pull out something, and it pulled out something!'

* * *

Meanwhile, all the way on the disco-themed fourteenth floor, DJ Phantasmagloria was in the middle of playing one of her jams when her vinyl suddenly vanished into a puff of green flower-shaped sparkles.

'Woah!' She exclaimed. 'That was, like, totes grody. Where did my tubular record, like, go?'

To circumvent this predicament, she simply went into her backstage to get another one.

* * *

Ginny cracked her knuckles. 'Please, I can do better than you bloody gits.' She cleared her throat. 'Watch as I do something grand before your eyes. I'm sure you're in for one hell of a... SURPRISE!'

She flung her wand towards the ceiling so fast it nearly left her hand. The object that she had summoned from her hat was, indeed, quite the surprise. It was _Luigi's cap_. Taken right off his head.

Nikki floated back, her face contorting. 'Erm?'

Ginny saw what she had summoned, and groaned. 'UGH!' She cried as she pinched her nose. 'Ew!'

Luigi felt around his head, and found to his shock that his cap had truly vanished from the top of his head.

'Ah!' He yelped.

Daisy did a double-take. 'Wait, what? How did you just...?'

Ginny held the cap as far away from her face as she could. 'Eugh, id smells worse den Johnny's old bloody jog-drap!'

'Hey!' Daisy yelled for her plumber.

Only Lindsey did not react to the cap like it was a smelly old sock. In fact, she looked very confused by such reactions.

'Oh come on.' She said. 'It can't smell **that** bad!'

She got up close and personal with the cap, and sniffed it. It took her a few seconds to come to any sort of conclusion.

'Come on, girls.' She said. 'It smells just fi... just f-f-f...'

The youngest triplet proceeded to spasm quite a bit, taking in a shaky breath with each odd change of pose. Her limbs went everywhere with each twitch. Her sisters, and our heroes, could only look on in confusion.

'Uh, Lindsey?' Nikki said. 'You okay there?'

'_Eh... ah... OH... ha-chee-hee-he..._'

'Lindsey?'

'_Ah... ah... **AAAHH-CHOOOO!**_'

Thanks to the force of her kitten-like yet incredibly loud sneeze, she flew backwards through the wall faster than you can blink. Everyone stared at the spot that she disappeared into, for a few good silent seconds.

'Ooo-kay then.' Nikki said, before resuming their show like that had never happened. 'We've got one last grand trick for you all! All I'll say is, come and get us.'

Ginny, fed up with the apparently foul-smelling cap, threw it into Luigi's face far harder than she needed to.

'Better yet, leave us the bloody hell alone.' She muttered. 'Seriously, you pillocks are just bloody annoying.'

They both disappeared through the door, laughing manically to themselves. And, clearly, Daisy and Polterpup had hit their limit. Both growled at the door, and rushed for it without any second thoughts.

'I'm going to **destroy you!**' Daisy yelled as she flung the door open.

Both were so intent on teaching those triplets a lesson, that they didn't notice that the entire doorway was full of a blinding white light. They charged right into it without a care in the world.

Luigi screamed.

'**Oh no...**' Polterkitty muttered.

'W-What just happened?'

The Panthergeist hung her head. '**I knew this would happen. See, what we just went through isn't the part that drives the mortals crazy. They just scrambled all the rooms.**'

Luigi went pale, and gulped. 'M-Meaning?'

'Things are about to get a whole lot worse.'

'Then we can't just sit here! We have to save Daisy and Polterpup!'

Luigi went through the door with Polterkitty right behind him, expecting to at least see his friends waiting for him on the other side. He didn't even get that. But he knew that this wasn't the room with the wooden stage in the middle, like it should've been.

It was the room with the magical swords, which were still imbedded in the target.

**Author Notes - Okay, I need to say something. When I proofread these chapters, I usually play music from the respective floor using the music-player thing in the game. Today, when proofreading this chapter, I found that a lot of the music tracks in this floor have **_very_** ominous and spine-chilling vocals in the background. Like, they legitimately creeped me out.**

**The personalities of Nikki, Lindsey, and Ginny (known collectively as the Twisted Sisters) are based on the Three Good Fairies from Disney's _Sleeping Beauty_. But if you guessed the Powerpuff Girls, you wouldn't necessarily be incorrect. ****More specifically: Nikki is based on Flora, the pompous leader, Lindsey is based on Fauna, the ditzy sweetheart, and Ginny is based on Merryweather, the impulsive tomboy.**

**Their British accents are a reference to the - very British - _Harry Potter_ series. The 'London' part specifically is where Daniel Radcliffe is from. It just seemed very appropriate to me. ****How many of Ginny's British swears do you think I can get away with? I'm making sure I don't go too far with them, but as an Australian most of these swears mean nothing to me.**

* * *

_Centuries ago, the Cap Kingdom was home to more than just Bonneters. Humans inhabited a small village by the name of Fedorvilla, very close to the still-standing Bonneton._

_When the triplets were born, suspicions were already raised. Three identical daughters, each surviving birth? Their mother had to be a witch! Fortunately, these accusations didn't get very far._

_While the eldest Nikki was perfect, the village noticed something seemed off about Lindsey and Ginny. Their development, especially socially, seemed far behind. Turned out that just because a disability hadn't been documented yet, didn't mean that people weren't still born with it._

_The triplets discovered their love for the art of illusion, and were so proud of their talent that they decided to show it off to the rest of the village. Now watch as Nikki saws Lindsey in half, only to be just fine afterwards! Of course, Ginny pretended to be the legs. They waited in anticipation for how amazed their audience would be._

_'SHE'S A WITCH!'_


	27. Presenting: Nikki, Lindsey, and Ginny!

**Author Notes - Imagine how fun it would be if the scrambled rooms were randomised each playthrough. That would make it even _more_ infuriating for speedrunners.**

**Random note, check out my _LM3_ speedruns on the-website-whose-URL-I-can't-give-you-or-this-website-will-remove-it if you wanna.**

**Choose the correct hat, and I think you'll find that DragonFlame64, Taiski, EmperorWolfgang, omnimegalander, and Vortex Lord have added favourites/follows! We are so close to fifty favourites and I am so excited!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - PRESENTING: NIKKI, LINDSEY, AND GINNY!**

'What in the ever loving-?!'

Daisy and Polterpup were greeted with their reflections once again. They had returned to the room with the bed on top of the giant block of glass, and it gave Daisy vertigo.

'Wha...? How?' She growled in realisation. 'GAH, it was those triplets again! They've scrambled up the whole place. Maybe I _don't_ want any children...'

Just to make the whole thing even more disorientating, the whimsical background music became more frantic and confused. Polterpup emitted a bewildered whimper.

'Tell me about it.' Daisy muttered. 'You got any ideas?'

The spectral hound shrugged his shoulders. Daisy sighed, and headed for the door that previously led to the small hall. For some reason, Polterpup got a very bad feeling about that door.

'So if the doors are all jumbled up, we just gotta go through them all until we arrive back at that stage thing.'

'Ruff?'

'Hey, don't question me! It's a good idea.' She said, stepping through the door. 'It's the best we've - OH MY GOOD LORD!'

That door did not lead to the stage. Or any room for that matter. Daisy couldn't feel any solid ground. She looked down for a moment, and bore witness to the ground below - _eleven_ floors below, mostly hidden beneath the fog. The rain made the step before the abyss wet and slippery.

And Daisy could feel herself wobbling forward.

'AAHHHHH!'

Polterpup grabbed her by the back of her shirt, and dragged her back into safety. She fell to the soft solid floor as Polterpup slammed the door shut.

Daisy unleashed an inelegant cry of despair and agony. 'OKAY!' She yelled, her eyes twitching. 'Let's be a little more careful with these doors...'

A horrible thought had dawned on her. Had Luigi opened a door just as lethal, only to fall victim to its trap? The thought made her sick to her stomach, and unfortunately it rooted itself in her mind. Unlike all her other fears, however, this one wasn't going to stop her.

'Okay, let's not even risk splitting up. Our team is divided enough as is. Stay by my side at all costs, and let's pray to Luvbi that this door won't lead directly to my death.'

They dreaded where the third door could've taken them, but they had no other options besides busting down the walls and potentially breaking the rules again. This time, Daisy opened it much more slowly and carefully, making sure she didn't take a single step over the line. It led directly into the elevator hall, from the door that Luigi had to Dark-Light. Which, of course, meant there were no other doors to go through.

'OH, I see!' Daisy yelled, looking around. 'So it's either get stuck in rooms with only one door, or fall to my death. Great options!'

Her eyes spied the elevator door. She had a stupid thought: if that was an elevator 'door', was it also affected by the room scrambling? Stupid thoughts were the best.

'Hey Poltiepup, do you think...?'

She hadn't even shared her suggestion yet, and he was already giving her a look.

'You got any better ideas? It has a chance to work, and compared to falling to my impending doom I'd rather take my chances.'

With the ghostly dog trailing behind her with a disapproving look, Daisy pressed the button for the elevator. Unlike every other time it was pressed, the elevator did not take a few seconds to arrive or do so with a distinctive 'DING' sound. The door just opened.

To the gravity-defying bedroom.

Daisy smirked at Polterpup. 'A-HA! Told you it would work!'

His expression didn't change, except now he was giving it not for her idiotic idea but instead her 'in your face!' attitude. Her cockiness faded away almost immediately when she saw the fan on the floor. It spun around so fast its own anchor could barely hold it. Paranormal gates emerged and blocked off both doors.

'Oh lord...'

Not one, not two, not even three, but four Oozers emerged from thin air, all armed with pool balls and handfuls of coins.

'Well, well, well.' One of them said, juggling the balls in her hands. 'You know what they say... divide then conquer!'

'Wait, isn't it divide _and_ conquer?' Another asked.

A third pinched what would've been the bridge of his nose if he had one. 'Dang it, Becky! We've been over this joke a million times!' He sighed. 'You're hopeless...'

'Forget that!' The fourth said. 'We have a princess to pound.'

Daisy chuckled. Simple Oozers would pose little risk to her. This would be fun.

* * *

After her adorable yet oddly powerful sneeze, Lindsey had ended up in the elevator hall. Of course, she didn't want to be left behind, so she went back through the wall the moment she realised what happened. She left before Daisy could see her.

When she went through that wall, she expected to arrive back in the bathroom. There, her sisters would be waiting for her and they could hopefully do anything else other than bully the green man. She did not arrive in the bathroom as she had hoped, or any of the bathrooms for that matter. It was a much smaller room that didn't even have a functioning light, but she could tell by the sickening smell of detergent exactly where she was.

'The... the laundry?'

The towels on the floor and the washing machines by the wall confirmed it. An ironing board folding out of the wall barely missed her as it slammed to the floor.

'No... Nikki? Ginny? Where are you?'

No response. Her stress levels spiked. She hyperventilated. The world got blurry.

'Oh no. Oh please no... they couldn't have. There's no way they jumbled the rooms without me. T-They didn't...'

No! She refused to believe that her own sisters had abandoned her like that, no matter how badly they had been treating her since the green man arrived. It was just another one of their harmless pranks.

Right?

Lindsey giggled. 'Oh, I'm not falling for this joke again. I know what you're doing. I betcha hiding in the washing machines again! That got me good the first time, but I'm onto you!'

She gave one of the machines a shake, giggling to herself. A rattling sound came from inside it, which could've been either clothes or one of her sisters.

'Ah, so you're gonna try lowering my guard, hey GinGin? Come on, I'm your sister. I know how you think!'

She threw her entire body at the machine, slamming her shoulder into it. The lid snapped open, but it was not Ginny or even Nikki who popped out. A bucket's worth of water sloshed out the hole, and splashed onto Lindsey's arms. The moment that liquid hit her ghostly skin, she screamed. It sent her back almost five centuries ago. All she could hear were the accusations being thrown her way before she was lowered into the lake.

'No, please!' She cried. 'I-I was just defending my sister! I-I'm not a witch, I promise!'

She had already bore witness to her eldest sister succumbing to a fire, and she was not ready to meet a similar fate.

'GINNY, HELP ME!'

She ran, fleeing from her watery fate. Without even realising it, she phased through one of the walls and ended up in another room. Whichever wall she came in from was irrelevant with how jumbled up the layout was. If she had a heart, it would've stopped right there. No longer was there just a simple splash of water on her arm. Now, she was completely submerged in it.

No matter how much time had passed, she could never forget the day she lost her life.

Where was she? She had no idea. Her mind couldn't focus on a single thing aside from the feeling of being utterly waterlogged. Unleashing one more scream, she rushed to the nearest corner she could find, and hid in her top hat.

* * *

'So where are Daisy and Polterpup?'

'**I... am not sure. The doors are supposed to lead to the same room each time they're opened. Maybe your friends were given a different path. The triplets are very powerful for their age.**'

Luigi saw the same two doors from before, and the blaring frantic circus music in the background did not help him choose in the slightest.

'Okay, so where should we go?' He asked.

'**Er, slight problem.**' Polterkitty answered. '**They mix it up every time. Last time I witnessed a mortal fall victim to this, that door led to the bathroom with a shower full of water.**'

'So in other words, it's totally random?'

'**Yep. We'll just have to try all the doors until we find the right path.**'

Luigi groaned.

'**On the bright side,**' Polterkitty continued. '**They never arrange a path with an impossible layout. So, we really can just guess wildly until we get it. As long as we don't go insane or accidentally choose the one door that leads to outside the building, we'll be fine.**'

'Wait, if we don't what now?'

Polterkitty felt awful vibes emanating from the box with the saw jammed into it. Why the triplets would want such a grim reminder of their past mystified her.

'What do you suggest?' Luigi asked.

'**Um... the right door, maybe?**'

The hesitance in her voice did little to calm his nerves, but regardless he opened the door that usually led to the elevator hall. To say that it didn't do so would be an understatement, and the sight made Luigi blush. He bore witness to a Goob in a room full of mirrors, brushing her teeth with a toilet brush. Once her mouth was foamy enough, she used that same toilet brush to clean her behind. She then put it back in her mouth.

'Eugh...' Luigi muttered.

The Goob spun around and shrieked. 'My word! You are invading my privacy, you peeping Tom!'

Luigi shrieked too. 'S-S-Sorry miss! I-It was an accident!'

He slammed the door shut, and pressed his back up against it as if holding back a great evil. His cheeks were the reddest they were that night. No words could leave his throat, and he wanted the floor to collapse beneath him.

'**Uh, it could've been worse.**' Polterkitty said, almost as embarrassed. '**That could've been a _Mini_ Goob.**'

'Don't put that image into my head!'

With their reddening cheeks just getting worse, Polterkitty sauntered for the third door. Luigi followed close behind, holding his cap down over his eyes.

'**The good news is,**' She said. '**At least we know this is the right door.**'

'Y-Yeah. Uh, we won't come across _that_ door again, right?'

'**Nope. Each door is unique.**'

'Oh thank goodness...'

Behind that door was fortunately not the eleven storey drop like Luigi dreaded, but that small hall that had dropped a hat onto Daisy. The top hat in question remained knocked over as it was left. One major problem though - the next door had a paranormal gate over it, yet with no ghosts that Polterkitty could sense. The Panthergeist grunted, and slashed the gate to pieces. It only took a second for it to reform.

'**What?!**' She cried. '**They're not supposed to just reappear like that.**'

'Maybe there's a puzzle those girls want us to solve?'

'**Right. That makes sense. But what though?**'

She looked around the room. Compared to the other rooms on this floor, this one was relatively normal. The path to the right simply lead to some bookshelves and a table. That, and a marble statue of Nikki, Lindsey, and Ginny themselves. Except, today the statue was missing something big. While the marble representations of Nikki and Ginny had their hats, Lindsey lacked hers. Her bare head stood out among her sisters. Polterkitty glanced up at the knocked-over top hat.

'**Wait, Luigi! I think I've got it.**' She said, before grabbing the hat with her teeth and being careful not to shred it.

'Uh, alright. I'm following... not really.'

Polterkitty threw the hat on top of the marbleised Lindsey, and from its bottom to its top the hat was slowly petrified. After a few seconds, it had blended in with the rest of the statue perfectly like the hat was never missing at all.

She sighed. '**Dang it, Ginny. Do you need to ruin Lindsey's _statue_ too?**'

Like she had hoped, the paranormal gate released.

'Nice!' Luigi said, grinning. 'How did you know that would work?'

'**I didn't. I just guessed.**'

'That's fine too! I can't count how often just guessing has gotten me through things.'

He opened the door as he said this, stepping through with a more optimistic attitude. With Polterkitty on his side, he felt as if he could actually maybe do this.

'So if we keep guessing, we might be able to - LEAPING LASAGNA!'

It was not the fact that he had arrived in the unfamiliar water tank bathroom that elicited such a reaction. In the far corner, he saw another purple top hat on the floor. It gave off quiet sobbing and sniffling sounds. Without even any _first_ thoughts, he ran over to that hat and used a burst to make it fly away.

'Eep!' The ghost within it yelped.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'L-Lindsey? What are you doing here?'

The young ghost looked up to him with the most beaten-up-looking eyes he had seen in a long time. Compared to the other two, who were schoolyard bullies, Lindsey was their lonely victim.

She wiped her eyes and nose before answering. 'I-I don't think my sisters care about me anymore...'

Luigi stepped back. Her teary, broken voice only broke his heart more.

'W-What makes you say that?' He asked.

'T-They jumbled all the rooms without me. I-I mean, that's happened many times before, but they used to go looking for me immediately. Now, they don't even care enough to do that...'

Luigi didn't need to think about it for a moment, and brought her into a warm hug. He could feel her ectoplasmic tears soaking into his shirt.

'Of course they care about you, Lindsey.' He said, running his fingers through her hair.

'But why don't they care about me _now_? They used to. But ever since Mr Potter brought us into this hotel, they've hated me.'

The fatherly instincts in Luigi kicked in, and he hugged her tighter. Polterkitty plodded into the room, and found the sight of a heartbroken Lindsey to be far more heart-wrenching than she could have ever expected.

'_Don't tell that idiot kid about what I'm doing to her sisters._' Master had ordered. '_I need her compliancy, even if my mind tricks are a complete waste on her. After all, a goody-two-shoes like her needs a little harshness._'

The day before, she would've just left the crying girl alone. After all, it wasn't _her_ problem. Hanging out with Green Man and Mean Lady was changing her much more than she thought.

When Lindsey caught sight of the hulking Panthergeist, she brightened up in seconds. 'PUDDING!'

She leapt off the floor and wrapped her arms around 'Pudding's neck, rubbing her cheeks against the warm ghostly fur. 'Pudding' soaked it all up and purred like a motor boat.

'Um, _Pudding_?' Luigi questioned.

'Oh, that's my nickname for the wittle kitty. Did you know I can understand animals? Cos I can. And she's a friend of mine! Aren't you, Pudding?'

Polterkitty responded with a cheerful mew, completely unbefitting of her monstrous appearance.

'Who's a cute wittle Pudding? You are! Yes you are!'

Despite the sweet moment, Polterkitty felt the need to finally give the young ghost the info that she had needed years ago.

'Mroo-oo-oow...'

'WHAT?!' Luigi and Lindsey cried at the same time.

'Y-You mean that, Pudding?' Lindsey asked. 'M-Ms Gravely is using her mind tricks on my sisters, but not _me_? And she's been doing this ever since **we were hired**?!'

Polterkitty nodded, and looked to the floor. She was surprised to see that Lindsey smiled. Oh goodness, did she smile.

'That's awesome!' She yelled. 'I mean, it's awful that my sisters are falling victim to the mind tricks. Absolutely awful! BUT, that means they still care for me! It's just-' She gasped, and frowned. 'Ms Gravely! Oh, that witch...'

Luigi placed his hand on her back. 'Don't worry about her. Daisy and I will stop her.' He sighed. 'You know, you're not the only one dealing with Ms Gravely. She's taken my older brother from me.'

Lindsey, upon hearing such an injustice, wrapped her arms around him and hugged. 'So we'll take her down together!'

Luigi's eyes shot open. As gently as he could, he pushed her away. Her smile remained unfettered.

'L-Listen Lindsey,' He said, scratching the back of his neck. 'I appreciate your, um, enthusiasm to join, but it's really dangerous for someone your age. Even if you're a ghost, I don't feel comfortable with bringing a child with us. I hope you understand.'

'Oh, yeah I understand! That's alright. My older sisters never let me do anything dangerous. And Ginny tried oh so hard to keep me safe when...'

She winced. Such awful, awful memories came back to her.

'Don't worry.' Luigi said. 'You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.'

'Um, but I kinda do. Y-Yeah, it was... horrible, but, you know, talking about it helps. That's what Mr Potter told me. Mr Potter likes to pretend he doesn't like us, but we know he adores us. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Talking about it might make me feel better.'

Luigi took his seat on the floor, and patted the space next to him.

'Okay.' He said. 'If you wanna talk about it, I'll listen.'

She sat down next to him and put her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her; if this is what it was like to have a child, he wanted one more than ever. Once the both of them - the three of them if you counted Polterkitty curling up on the floor - got comfortable, Lindsey gave the water tank a shaky glance and told her story.

_See, my older sisters and I have been ghosts for a long time. Like, a really long time. A really, really long time. A few centuries... I think? We came from the Cap Kingdom, back when humans lived there too. The others didn't like me or Ginny very much. I think it's because we have... asparagus? Ice burgers? I don't remember._

Luigi's eyes widened. No wonder they had such great chemistry with each other. It certainly explained a lot about both her and Ginny.

_But everything was fine. Especially when we found out how great we were with the art of illusion! You should've seen it. Nikki sawed me in half in front of the entire village! Ginny helped us pull it off._

_We learnt that... showing off our magical talent was a terrible idea._

'How come?' Luigi asked.

_The other people in our village? They didn't like it. They called us witches._

'Witches?!'

Suddenly, Luigi didn't want to hear the rest of it. He had paid enough attention in school to know where this was going. Still, he continued to listen for her sake.

_Yeah. Nikki was the first accused, since she was the one who did the trick. Our parents tried to stop it, but... the others burnt her alive. Though, I think the smoke got to her first. __I-I was next. After I tried to defend Nikki, I was accused too. They tied me to a rock and said that if I was a witch, I'd save myself from... d-drowning. Uh, you can see it didn't work._

She punctuated that sentiment with a laugh that she couldn't make sound real even if she tried her hardest. Polterkitty cringed, the story bringing back her own horrible memories.

'Aw, your poor poor thing...' Luigi said, softly. 'I-I know my words don't really help, but-'

'Oh, don't worry! Your words are just fine. I like them. They're nice. If you wanna know what happened to Ginny, she tried her hardest to keep me safe, even offering to take my place. I wasn't around to see what happened to her, but... she wasn't the same after it.'

She cuddled into his chest, smiling as she indulged in the warm. Almost forgetting about the mission at hand, Luigi brought her closer like she was his actual daughter.

'**Luigi,**' Polterkitty said. '**If we're gonna talk about the past, I have something to admit too.**'

Luigi reached out and stroked her head. 'Alright. You okay with that, Lindsey?'

'Oh yeah! Pudding can tell you what happened to her. But it's really tragic.'

Polterkitty rested her head on Luigi's lap as she explained her story.

'**I was born with two tails, unlike my brothers and sisters. The third ended up growing in the afterlife, if you're wondering. My birth defect meant nothing, but my breeders didn't care. It still scared them. They tried to pawn me off, but no one wanted to adopt me. It didn't take long for my breeders to give up on me, so they...'** She sighed. **'There's a reason why I'm so afraid of water.**'

She could say no more, but Luigi understood exactly how that story ended. It disgusted him. How anyone could do that to an animal, just because they were born with a harmless defect, was a question he didn't want answered. He could understand putting a poor creature out of its misery, but no way an extra tail would've affected her life at all.

'And that's why we get along so well!' Lindsey randomly declared. 'Both of us were unfairly drowned and hate water because of it. It's a weird thing to have in common, but it's something!'

Luigi wanted nothing more than to be able to relax here with his two new friends, savouring the warmth and serenity. However, he knew he couldn't.

'Listen Lindsey,' He said. 'I would love to stay here for the rest of the night, but we really need to get going. My friends could be in trouble, and - as much as I hate to say this - I think the only way we can get out of this is by fighting and capturing your sisters.'

Lindsey responded to such a statement by leaping into the air, and putting her hat back on. She pulled out her wand and gave a determined grin for the first time in a while.

'Then I'm coming with!' She said. 'Maybe I can talk them out of it, now that I know they really do still love me.'

Luigi did not want to tell her that he truly doubted that would work, but he did not want to soil the joy of a child; especially a child who died so horribly.

'Okay.' He said after a lot of thought. 'But the _second_ things start getting dangerous for you, I want you gone.'

'I can do that!' She paused. 'Can you be my big brother?'

'What?!'

'Just until we find my sisters! Sorry if that wasn't clear. I already have an older brother. His name is Clem!'

Luigi gave her a look. 'Wait, Clem? You mean the plumber?'

'Yeah, him! And Billie's our big sister too. I mean, we're not related, but they really like us! We're like their unofficial sisters.' A pause. 'Am I talking too much?'

'No, no. It's okay. But we should get going right now.'

'Lead the way, Green M- I mean, Luigi!'

* * *

'Are you fu- for f- you have got to be sh-!'

To say the Oozers were not a threat would be an understatement. With Polterpup around to sniff them out, Daisy tore through them like wet paper. They were not what was causing her to almost-swear every few seconds. It was those blasted doors. Running down the gallery past the portrait ghosts, screaming in agony from finding yet another one-door room, ending up in the lounge for the fiftieth time... if she didn't find that stage any time soon, she would disregard the rules completely and physically bash her way through.

'ARE YOU-?! Ugh.'

She couldn't even recognise this room. It appeared to be yet another bathroom, but this had a bunch of oversized playing cards laying about. Without really thinking, she picked up the Ace of Spades card resting on the toilet seat and ripped it to shreds. Polterpup just observed her minor breakdown with nonchalance.

'Arf?'

'NO, I AM NOT OKAY HERE!' She shouted. 'I'm about to have a Grambi-damned aneurysm thanks to this stupid floor!'

She _almost_ ripped off the next door's handle, though still left it heavily dented. Polterpup had long since crossed the line of no longer caring.

'If I don't find those triplets RIGHT NOW,' Daisy yelled as she opened the door. 'I'M GONNA- oh.'

By sheer 'luck' - actually just stubbornness and process of elimination - she had _finally_ ended up back in the stage room. Two of the triplets awaited her, but neither seemed to notice that she had finally arrived.

'We don't have to do any bloody planning.' Ginny said. 'The tossers never get this far anyway.'

'I know, but it never hurts to think about it.' Nikki replied. 'After all, you never know. These guys gotta be good if they survived Ms Serpci's pyramid. We don't want to be caught with our pants down.'

'We're not wearing any bloody pants!'

'What? No. I mean-'

Daisy, not in any mood to sit through twelve-year-olds argue over which _Galaxy Wars_ movie was best, cleared her throat as loudly as she could. Both girls snapped their attention to her.

'What?!' Ginny yelled. 'How the bloody hell did a wanker like you make it through the rooms without losing your mind?'

'Making it through? Yes.' Daisy said. 'Without going insane? Eh, the jury's kinda out on that one.'

Ginny growled. 'C'mon Nik, there's gotta be some rule this wanker broke.'

Nikki shook her head. 'Sorry GinGin, but from what I can tell she followed the rules to a T. She wouldn't be so red in the face if she just cheated her way through.'

The middle sister crossed her arms and pouted. Nikki just rolled her eyes, an impressive feat considering her lack of pupils.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Wait, where's the third one?'

'That doesn't matter.' Nikki said. 'I think this fight will be a lot better for us without little Lindsey dragging us down.'

Lo and behold, with the most perfect timing ever, Luigi opened the other door to the stage just a few moments later. Polterkitty and Lindsey were right behind him.

Daisy's eyes brightened. 'Luigi!'

'Daisy!'

The happy reunion was over before it could even begin, thanks to Lindsey.

'NIKKI! She cried in absolute joy. 'GINNY!'

She flew across the room and brought both her older sisters into a big, tight hug. The only way she could've looked any happier was if 'Pudding' was a part of this embrace.

'Get off me, ya pillock!' Ginny yelled, shoving herself away.

'Seriously Lindsey,' Nikki said, pushing her away by the forehead. 'Stop with the hugs.'

'But you girls don't understand!' Lindsey said. 'Ms Gravely is controlling your minds! You gotta fight back.'

To her shock, her older sisters just laughed.

'Linny, tell me.' Nikki said, giving her a patronising grin. 'Why do you think Hellen Gravely ignores you? Hm?'

'I-I-I, um, don't know...'

'Oh what a shock!' Ginny said. 'And that's precisely why. Not only are ya too nice for ya own good, but you're a complete bloody berk!'

Now, Ginny teased Lindsey all the time. Every second of the day. Usually, however, Lindsey knew she didn't really mean it. At that moment, Lindsey knew she truly _did_ mean it this time. She turned away from her sisters, trying to hide the tears coming to her eyes.

'Anyway!' Nikki announced, like she didn't just insult her own sister. 'I would like our guests to please step forward onto this wooden stage. It is required for our next trick!'

None of our heroes thought this was going to be even remotely good for them, but it wasn't like they had much choice in the matter. Luigi with Polterkitty and Daisy with Polterpup stepped onto the stage as directed, and braced for any sort of attack.

'And now,' Nikki continued, waving her arms out. 'Nikki, Lindsey, and Ginny shall present to you-'

'Actually,' Lindsey said, adopting a more serious frown. 'It'll be just Nikki and Ginny today.'

Whatever trick they had planned got interrupted. Nikki and Ginny gave their youngest sister odd looks, with the former putting her hands on her hips.

'And what makes you say _that_?' She asked, an eyebrow raised.

'Have ya finally bloody realised you're dragging us down?'

'NO!' Lindsey yelled, crossing her arms.

Her older sisters jumped back, and so did our heroes.

'I'm not going to help you anymore tonight!'

Nikki, once she processed what she just said, faked a gasp. 'But Linny, you can't do that! We're your sisters, remember? We gotta stick together as a family, just like what we've done for centuries.'

'That's just it. You're not my sisters! My sisters might tease me and call me a wanker - or whatever it is you say, Ginny - but they would never abandon me once the rooms are scrambled. But you girls _did_. You are **not** my sisters. You are just whatever it is Ms Gravely is moulding my sisters into!'

'Wha... you...?'

Lindsey twirled her wand in her hand like it was a gun, and left her sisters with a swing in her 'step'. She wrapped her free arm around Luigi's shoulder, and glared at the other two young ghosts.

'Pudding here told me all about what Ms Gravely was doing to you. I hoped that we could just talk it about, but that didn't work. I could never fight my own sisters... but until you start caring about me again, you are not my sisters!'

Nikki and Ginny gasped, this time for real. Luigi had no idea what was going on.

'Well fine then!' Ginny yelled. 'Join the bloody tossers instead of your own sisters.'

'YOU'RE NOT MY SISTERS!'

Nikki pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Alright then. If that's how it's gonna be... Nikki _and Ginny_ shall present to you our most favourite trick!' She waved her wand around. 'Now, simple stage, shed your normal form. Get weird and wacky as you transform!'

Ginny gave her a 'really?' look. 'Did you seriously just rhyme transform with _form_?'

'I'm a magician, not a poet!'

Red curtains rose from the floor, surrounding the entire wooden platform with our heroes and Lindsey caught up in it. A spotlight from nowhere turned on, and shone so brightly that Luigi had to shelter his eyes. The remaining triplets had disappeared, but the real trick showed itself when the curtains sunk onto the floor again.

The normal room was gone without a trace, with only the wooden platform and the stage lights surrounding it left. Now, our heroes stared off into a swirling purple void. It was like a reverse black hole, with random objects like dice and chairs flying out of its glowing white middle and spiralling away.

You'd expect Daisy to freak out once again, but she just shrugged. 'Yeah, random purple void of death. Perfectly normal! I don't even care anymore.'

In contrast, Luigi's entire body twitched. 'Speak for yourself...'

Daisy peered over the edge. The void seemed to go on forever, far deeper than the hotel or even planet would surely allow. She had no idea what would happen if she fell, and she didn't want to find out.

'Oh dear...' Lindsey murmured.

'Lindsey,' Daisy said, putting her hand to her forehead. 'I hate to ask, but why is this an 'oh dear' situation?'

'We haven't done this trick for, um, decades, I think? My sisters only do it if they _really_ want someone dead.'

'Oh great.'

Nikki and Ginny reappeared with two puffs of lavender smoke, just barely out of Daisy's reach. By the way they were floating next to each other, it was clear that Lindsey was supposed to be to the right of Nikki.

'I see some shivering legs and sweaty faces!' Nikki said, putting one hand on her hip and the other in the air. 'That means our greatest trick of all is working! What do you guys think of it?'

'I hate it.' Daisy stated bluntly.

'Um, it's alright, I guess?' Luigi said.

'Alright? Just alright?!' Ginny shouted, clenching her fists. 'DO YOU TOSSERS KNOW HOW BLOODY LONG IT TAKES TO GET THIS TRICK RIGHT?!' She sighed. 'Bloody mortals...'

Nikki sighed, fed up with _both_ her younger sisters at this point. She whacked Ginny across the back of the head with her wand, to which the middle triplet responded by dropping about a dozen expletives that cannot be repeated.

'Just ignore my sister, okay?' Nikki said. 'Where were we? Oh yeah. I assume you mortals are looking for this. I hope when I reveal this, you won't be a glutton. But I think what you want is this shiny yellow button!'

With a quick flick of her wrist, she materialised the next elevator button from thin air. It had a big bold '12' printed on it. Nikki could tell just by looking at those mortals' pupils that she had them right where she wanted them.

'You ever played a game of cup-and-ball?' She asked. 'Good, then you know how this'll work. Just remember - _I'm_ the one with the button!'

'And,' Ginny added. 'Since our country matter of a sister doesn't want to just bloody cooperate, we'll need to add something else to this little game.'

Using her wand, Nikki summoned another top hat identical to Lindsey's where the youngest sister would've stood. A ticking bomb could be heard within it. That sound did not help anyone's nerves. **At all.**

'Whether you get Ginny or the bomb,' Nikki said. 'You're in for a bad time! And believe me. I know that from experience.'

'And trust me!' Lindsey added. 'I'd rather find the _bomb_.'

'And that's the way I like it!' Ginny yelled.

Before anyone could ask how it could possibly be hard to find a target right in front of them, Nikki and Ginny disappeared into their hats. Like the game they described, the three hats swapped places about ten times. They moved just fast enough _not_ to be impossible to tell.

'Left!' Daisy cried, pointing at the hat on the left. '_My_ left, if you need that clarification.'

'Ah ah ah!' Nikki's voice echoed from everywhere around. 'Did you think it would be that easy? Right or wrong, our game doesn't end here!'

One by one, the hats left their spots and soon all three were circling around the stage, each leaving behind a sparky trail of purple mist. Thanks to the disorientating void in the background making him dizzy, Luigi lost track of Nikki in seconds. Polterkitty let out a distressed yowl. Daisy, however, kept herself spinning on the spot like a ballerina.

'**You think this scares me?**' Polterpup said. '**I can sniff out that button like nothing.**'

'Sorry Puppy,' Lindsey said, tapping her fingers together. 'But that's not gonna work. See, to really make sure that this game is fair, they use, erm, some sort of magic to jumble up your sense of hearing and smell. So, you're just gonna smell that button everywhere.'

'**Ugh, you serious? Of course.**'

The hats spun and they spun and they spun. Daisy, through all of it, had managed to keep track of Nikki but was slowly succumbing to dizziness.

'Come at me!' She yelled.

The hats did just that, shrinking the circle they were tracing slowly but surely. The trails created a galaxy shape as they closed in, before the hats got so close that their trails touched and formed a complete circle. They spun so fast that they left red hot sparks behind. Daisy stepped back until she bumped into the Poltergust.

'Luigi, sweetie,' She said, beginning to sweat. 'Do you maybe wanna-?'

'Way ahead of you!'

Luigi activated a burst, sending the caps flying backwards. They landed on their tops, each with a rainbow rope of handkerchiefs hanging out of them. Each rope was equally as long as the others, with no visual differences between them at all. Like Lindsey had said, Polterpup couldn't even smell the difference.

'Make sure you get the right one!' Lindsey said. 'If you get the wrong one, you might-'

'This one!' Daisy yelled, reaching for a rope seemingly at random. 'Get ready to grab her, Luigi!'

'Um, okay?'

Daisy grabbed onto that rope and yanked on it. The other hats vanished into smoke, and whatever object lay inside the hat came tumbling out and fell onto her face.

'Ow...' Nikki muttered, rubbing her forehead. 'That hurt way more than I- GAH!'

Luigi flashed the Strobulb into her eyes, leaving her stunned before she could even realise what was going on. He had dreaded that he would have to bash her into the floor, but he found the pull surprisingly weak.

'Alright, alright!' She cried, just barely fighting against the vacuum cleaner. 'I obey the rules of my own game, and you have beaten me. The prize is yours!'

Nikki was sucked up into the device with hardly any effort. Our heroes knew there was a problem when the void hadn't gone away yet. Despite that, the Poltergust rattled around, signifying the button was about ready to fly out.

'Don't celebrate yet, guys!' Lindsey said. 'Nik may obey the rules, but GinGin doesn't.'

'**Meaning?**' Polterpup asked.

The button flew out of the nozzle, but the moment our heroes could see it, it vanished into thin air.

'Hey!' Daisy yelled.

'Did you clots really expect us to give you the button and sod off?' Ginny's voice boomed from everywhere. 'My sisters may be a bunch of bloody jessies, but _I'm_ not. If wazzocks like you want this button, you'll need to have a punch-up with **me**!'

Ginny reappeared in the starting position, with a spare hat on both sides. Now, both hats emitted that ticking bomb sound. The middle triplet snickered to herself, before disappearing into her own hat.

'I'm gonna keep trying until you bugger off and die!'

Lindsey gulped. 'Oh, I miss the days when that was an empty threat.'

Daisy's line of sight was planted firmly on the middle hat, watching it intently as it went left, right, all around... if poor Luigi was too overwhelmed and if the bizarre landscape confused the Polterpets, Daisy would make up for them and more. Ginny kept swapping until she made herself dizzy.

'Right!' Daisy announced to everyone. 'She's on the right!'

The hat in the middle spun around on the spot a little faster than the others, before firing out a flying playing card. It soared through the air like an arrow. Daisy jumped out the way, not daring to make any snarky comments about how a card could be scary.

Luigi was not so lucky.

'OWIE!'

The card just barely touched his cheek as it passed by, but that was all it needed. It sliced through his skin, leaving behind a small but bleeding cut.

'Oh, sweetie!' Daisy cried. 'You okay?'

'Y-Yeah.' He said. 'It's basically just a paper cut.'

'Paper cuts are bloody painful! ... Oh, great. Now _I'm_ doing it.'

Lindsey cringed. Sure, Ginny could be rough, but intentionally causing someone to bleed was beneath her. Usually. Polterkitty hissed and growled at Ginny, just barely missing her with her claws.

'Shut the bloody hell up, ya pestiferous cat!'

Polterkitty did not stop snarling, though she was perfectly aware that Ginny followed up on her threats.

'Pudding, be careful!' Lindsey cried. 'Ginny could do anything she wants to you. I know she usually likes you, but she doesn't right now!'

'I don't know what we're all worried about.' Daisy said. 'She's on the right. I can track her.'

Lindsey gave her begging eyes. 'No, you don't understand! Ginny won't follow any of her own rules. She will do anything to ensue that she wins. If there was a spell that could make you disappear _completely_, she'd do if you ticked her off enough.'

'Well, right now, I'm more **pissed off** than she could ever be!'

Just like before, the hats began to circle the arena. The middle hat went first, and the all-important right one went next. Daisy spun around on the spot, her eyes like a crosshair on their target. Luigi attempted to track one too, but a flying grandfather clock in the void took away his focus.

'Hey, I used to have a grandfather clock just like - D'OH!'

With the scent of everything everywhere, Polterpup couldn't concentrate on anything. Meanwhile, the scattering smoke reminded Polterkitty too much of Master's Gheistpaint. She couldn't think with the thoughts of that sneeze-inducing powder flooding her mind. Lindsey's conscious simply didn't let her even glance at the hats. Daisy watched. She paid attention to that one hat like she'd die the moment she looked away. No matter what, even if she had to stand there for days, she would not lose track.

'Do ya plonkers really think I'd make it this easy? I'll leave ya jessies begging for mercy! Now watch as I pour in all of my heart, into this spell that'll leave you in the dark!'

Everything went dark with nary a warning, so dark that Luigi's own flashlight couldn't begin to pierce it. Even the ghostly eyes of Polterpup and Polterkitty could barely see a foot in front of them.

Luigi and Daisy screamed at once.

'Daisy, where are you?! I don't even know where **I** am!'

'I'm right here, Luigi. Don't worry! At least, I _think_ I am. GINNY!'

The middle triplet cackled. 'Now how's that for a jolly ol' trick? Nikki would tell me that isn't fair, but she's not bloody here!'

Lindsey grumbled. 'But _I'm_ still here!'

Ginny scoffed. '**You**? You're a little wallflower, Linny!'

The youngest sister clenched her fists. Even if she couldn't see them, she could hear her mortal friends crying and panicking, and she could feel their fear in the air. She straightened up her hat and held her wand up to the sky.

'That's it!' She declared. 'I only helped you kill all those other mortals because _you_ girls were doing it! I convinced myself that if I played along, you'd love me again. But now I know the truth. Now I know that it's all Ms Gravely's fault, and only her fall will bring you and Nik back. And Luigi here is just the guy to do it!'

Ginny snickered. 'What the bloody hell are you saying? That you'd rather help out those wankers than your own sister?'

'No! I'm saying that these 'wankers' will help me get my sisters back! And I'm gonna help them. Now, my wand, help me do what's right. Help out these mortals and bring back the light!'

The dark vanished, as quickly as it arrived. The hats had kept spinning, but were closing in fast. Had Lindsey delayed her magic for another second, the mortals would've dealt with the razor-sharp spinning blades.

'Damn it, Lindsey!' Ginny's voice echoed. 'I was going to cut their feet off!'

Luigi activated a burst, knocking the hats away and onto their tops. Like before, rainbow ropes spewed out and waited to be pulled on.

'Daisy, which one is it?' Luigi asked, trying to hide his mounting stress. 'Daisy?!'

Daisy stood in the middle of the arena, still as a rock. Her eyes darted from hat to hat, the ticking bombs getting louder and louder. Her heart beat out of her chest.

'Daisy?'

'I... I... I LOST TRACK!' She shouted. 'T-The lights turned off, and n-now I don't know which one is right!'

Luigi gasped. 'Oh, I should've known. I don't wanna stress you out...'

'Don't worry, cos I'm doing a pretty good job at that myself!'

She reached out for one of the ropes, but stopped herself. A two-thirds chance to blow herself up threw her off.

'You have to pick one!' Luigi cried. 'We don't know what Ginny is capable of.'

'I KNOW! But what if she tricked us? What if they're all bombs? What if they blow up if we take too long?!'

Daisy could only stand there as her face turned pale. She could feel those pickle dandelions wanting to fly back out of her stomach. Luigi's heart stopped; he realised that Daisy was having a panic attack.

'MIAOW!'

Polterpup turned to a panicked Lindsey. '**Okay Linny, I know you can understand me. You gotta do something!**'

Lindsey chewed on the end of her wand. 'I-I know she's not really my sister right now, but-'

'**Look, I get it. It's hard. Of course it would be. But if you don't do anything-**'

'Then my sisters will _never_ be freed!' She grinned. 'Thanks Cheesecake!'

'There you go-! Wait, _Cheesecake_?'

The panicked moaning sounds that Luigi emitted only pushed her further to help. She gave him another hug before she flew into the air.

'Ginny, forgive me this... I'm still a Twisted Sister, even though I've swapped sides. But I need to know where my middle sister hides!'

At first, nothing happened. Then, one of the hats began to glow green. Green hearts fluttered out of it, followed by the sounds of Ginny inside.

'_AH-CHOO!_' A bunch of sparkles burst out of the hole. 'Ugh, bloody pixie dust!'

Daisy gasped, and yanked on the rope leading from the glowing hat. The other two vanished as Ginny came flying out of it. Unlike Nikki, she got to her proverbial feet in moments.

'YAY!' Daisy cheered. 'Bloody hell!'

Ginny's eyes fell not onto the mortals nor their pets, but instead her younger sister.

'You...' She muttered. 'You twat! You betrayed your own sister!'

Lindsey teared up, but gave her a glare. 'This is the only way I can save you, GinGin. Just be like Big Sis Nik and surrender! You'll be freed from Ms Gravely.'

'As if I would surrender to you wankers!'

Luigi did not want this argument to go on any further, and unleashed a full blast Strobulb at Ginny. The young ghost predicted such a move, and dove to the left.

'Only a git like you would think I would raise the white flag that easily!' She yelled.

'GINNY!' Lindsey snapped back. 'Listen to me! We can be a family again if you just let Luigi capture you.'

'BAH! I don't need no bloody family. 'Specially two sisters who only held me back!'

Luigi attempted to flash her again, but she was out of reach. Daisy groaned, and stood between the two sisters.

'Hey Lindsey!' She said, waving her arms up and down. 'Why don't you perform some sort of spell to get the button back or something?'

Ginny laughed out loud. 'HA! You think that muppet can do something that bloody complicated? You know how knackering it is to intentionally teleport something?'

Lindsey looked to the floor and fiddled with her wand. 'Hm... GinGin's right. I'm no good with magic...'

Daisy pulled at her hairs and groaned. 'FOR GRAMBI'S SAKE! The one spell that could get us out of this _right_ _now_, and you can't bloody do it. Geez... why are you so USELESS?!'

Silence.

Everyone stared at her. She didn't need their looks to immediately regret her own words. Lindsey's heartbroken eyes did that for her. The young girl sniffled.

'Oh, Lindsey...' Daisy said. 'I-I didn't mean it. I've been bottling up my own insecurities for so long that I-'

'What. Did. You. Just. _Say_?' Ginny muttered behind her.

Daisy spun around, and saw Ginny giving her a death stare that rivalled even King Boo's. The middle sister bent her wand so much, it was a miracle it didn't snap.

'Um, that your little sister is useless?' Repeating those words left a very sour taste in her mouth.

Ginny crossed her arms. 'Listen here, ya twat! I don't care who you are. No one - and I mean bloody NO ONE - bullies _my_ little sister but ME!'

Lindsey smiled; it was the first time in years her older sister managed to get her to do that. Ginny got up in Daisy's face, pointing her wand right between her eyes. Her purple aura turned to a furious red as she got closer and closer. Daisy was forced to back away constantly.

'She's MY little sister, ya blighter! And if you think I'm gonna let you get away with calling her useless, you've got another think coming.'

All of Luigi's hate for Ginny vanished like it was part of a magic trick.

'If you're gonna say such beastly things about MY little sister...'

However, he was very much aware that Daisy was approaching the edge, and he was not ready to see if it was indeed an endless abyss.

'Then you're just A BLOODY C-!'

'GinGin!' Lindsey cried.

'WHAT?!'

Ginny snapped around, only to find herself at the receiving end of a Strobulb flash. Though Luigi really didn't want to, he tethered onto her tail and began to drain her ghostly energy.

'GET OFF ME YA TOSSER!'

He changed his mind. A ghost almost as defiant as Chambrea needed to be taught a lesson. And said lesson consisted of him slamming her into the floor several times. With each bash, Ginny spat out a curse that cannot be repeated. No matter how hard she fought the pull, she quickly became another victim to the Poltergust. She grabbed onto the floor in some fruitless attempt to anchor herself.

'GAAAHH!' She screamed. 'I'm gonna kill you if I ever escape this bloody vacuum!'

She disappeared with a pop. The nozzle rattled about, and the twelfth floor button went flying out of the Poltergust. As it fell to the floor, the bizarre void returned to the normal room from before.

Silence. It took a while until Daisy got her words back.

'Oh goodness...' She muttered, wiping her brow and picking up the button. 'I lost it... I freaking lost it...'

Luigi's attention immediately fell on Lindsey. 'We... we are so sorry that we had to do that. I-I'm so, so sorry.'

Lindsey took off her hat and bowed before the green-clad man, and she did so with a smile. She chucked her hat aside, and floated down to the man's level.

'It's okay. Really!' She said. 'My sisters are now safe from Ms Gravely, and that's all I care about. I got to see Pudding again, and I met Cheesecake too! I just have one more favour to ask for.'

'I'll do whatever you want.'

'Please, capture me too.' Her voice cracked. 'I can't be without my sisters. We've been together since the beginning.'

Luigi nodded. 'Alright. After all you've been through, it's the least I can do.'

* * *

Lindsey had no idea where she ended up, but she didn't care. As long as her sisters were there, she would be happy.

'LINNY!'

She was in the ghost container unit for only a few seconds when her older sisters brought her into a massive hug. She hadn't felt that warmth in a long, _long_ time.

'Are you okay? The green man didn't hurt you, did he?'

'I'm telling you Linny, I'm gonna teach that bloody blighter a lesson for saying those beastly things to you!'

'I'm okay, girls!' Lindsey said. 'Luigi's a really nice guy. And Daisy was pretty nice too.'

Ginny realised what she was doing, and broke away from the embrace. She crossed her arms and turned away.

'Pfft. I wasn't _that_ worried about a git like you.' She said. 'I don't know what you're yabbering on about.'

Lindsey giggled. 'You know I saw what you nearly did to Daisy.'

Ginny blushed. 'You- I- you can't prove that!'

'I see what this is.' Nikki said, hugging Lindsey tighter. 'I like to call it Tomboy Syndrome. You want to distance yourself from anything girly so much, you don't want admit that you actually love your sister.'

Ginny said nothing, but her blush got more intense. Fortunately for her, another distraction popped up.

'HOOOO-WEEEE! Lookit that, Billie.' Clem yelled, pointing at the triplets. 'Our sisters are back!

'Hawtdog! And here Ah t'was worried we'd never see them again once we was sucked inta tha void thing.'

'Uh, Billie, there was no... forgit it.'

The Hayseed twins joined in on the family hug, to which Ginny stuck out her tongue. No way she was in the mood to be crushed by a couple of rednecks. Though, that hug seemed kinda tempting... no! She was too tough for that.

'GAH!' Dr Potter exclaimed. 'I don't need no whippersnappers here too!'

'W-Welcher?' Amadeus questioned in his native tongue, before he gasped. 'Girls! You've returned!'

Soon, most of the other ghosts stopped doing whatever nonsense they were doing and rushed off to the only children among them.

'You guys okay? Was the green guy friendly?'

'Ug see some signs of emotional distress, but not enough to make Ug _too_ worried.'

'When zis is all over, I'll bake you girls zee sweetest cake you've ever eaten.'

'Geez. Dat was scary for a moment dere. Youse good?'

Some of the ghosts didn't crowd around them. Unsurprisingly, Chambrea was one of them. She was still throwing her body at the walls in some attempt to break out.

'I don't CARE how long it takes me!' She shouted. 'I'll get that green boy even if it kills me a second time!'

Serpci and MacFrights were all the way in their own little corner. The two had spent the last several hours staring deeply into each other's eyes, lying down in the air like they were on some sort of romantic picnic.

'I'm so happy to see my brave heroic warrior!'

'Thou art ye light ineth me life, me gorgeous queen!'

Ginny gagged. Things were getting way too sappy for her now. She took pleasure out of the fact that no one had noticed that she had left the crowd. No one except for Dr Potter. The old gardener approached her nice and quietly; the last thing he wanted was to attract attention.

'Ginny? Yeh okay?' He asked. 'Are yeh hurt? Any bruises? Bumps? Scratches? Did that green whippersnapper hurt yeh? Did that plant murderer do anything tah yeh?!'

Ginny grumbled. 'Only because I was being such a bloody twat. God, I feel awful for that chap.'

'So yer good? No injuries?'

'Not anything severe. At least on the outside...'

Dr Potter opened his arms out, and beckoned for a hug. Ginny hesitated for a moment, before rushing into his embrace. She hugged him tight, and he stroked her messy blonde hair. Try as hard as she might, she couldn't help but to weep softly into his dusty old clothes.

'It's okay, Ginny. I know we're all a li'l scared right now. No one has tah know how scared yer really are.'

* * *

**_NIKKI, LINDSEY, AND GINNY, THE TWISTED SISTERS_**

_AGE - 12_

_GENDER - Female (All)_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Witch-hunting_

_The Twisted Sisters (last name Kahdabrah) were triplets with tons of talent in the magical arts. Thanks to their talent, they were accused of being witches and were murdered by their village. They spend their afterlife playing (usually) harmless pranks. Out of all the 'Grand Ghosts', they are the youngest._

**_NIKKI, THE POMPOUS LEADER_**

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Suffocation caused by smoke_

_Nikki is the eldest of the triplets, and the self-pointed leader. She cares deeply for her younger sisters, even if they annoy her sometimes. She can easily take her power a little too far, which usually results in Ginny getting on her case. Keep fire far, far away from her._

**_LINDSEY, THE IDEALISTIC DITZ_**

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Drowned_

_Lindsey is the youngest of the triplets, and no doubt the ditziest. She's very kind-hearted, to the point where Hellen Gravely doesn't bother with her. She doesn't like confrontations. The very sight of water is enough to make her panic._

**_GINNY, THE IMPULSIVE TOMBOY_**

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Crushed by stones_

_Ginny is the middle child, and the obligatory tomboy. She's easy to anger, and tends to act without thinking. Not to mention swears like a sailor. She bullies Lindsey from time-to-time. If YOU make fun of Lindsey, though, Ginny will teach you the meaning of pain._

* * *

**Author Notes - Hey, you know what's fun? Wanting to do more with the scrambled rooms, only for the scene between Lindsey and Luigi to go on longer than expected. Eh, I'm sure TGN will make up for that. SYNERGY! Also f*** this chapter got long.**

* * *

_Ginny tried, damnit. She bloody tried. She fought back those people trying to drown her little sister with all her might. And what did it get her? Stones to the skull._

_Nikki kept the three of them going, no matter how much they wanted to give up. Their multiple-century-spanning journey brought them to the Last Resort. __Hellen Gravely refused at first to let them in, believing that hiring children gave her little benefit. Even as Amadeus demanded it, she didn't listen. It didn't help that Dr Potter REALLY didn't want 'no whippersnappers' in his hotel._

_Which is why Lindsey found it weird when Dr Potter went straight to Ms Gravely and said that he would cover all expenses concerning the three girls. He seemed just as desperate to bring them in as he was to keep his plants safe. He was there for a while, and refused to return to Audrey until all the triplets were welcomed in._


	28. Fishook Line and Sinker

**Author Notes - HAPPY HALLOWEEN! This chapter has actually been ready for a little while now, but I wanted to wait until this glorious day! Not only is it Halloween, but it's this game's one-year-anniversary. The best part was trying to time this so it actually came out on Halloween for the Americans who make up the vast majority of my readers.**

**No need for a B2 revisit because we've already done that! HOORAY!**

**By the way, SUB 3 HOURS LM3 RUN! Yes, I know I'm kinda showing off here, but I'm very happy and proud of myself. Feel free to check it out if you want. Only if you want, though; I don't wanna force people. Or do I? Nah.**

**Well, shiver me timbers! This here map be telling me that edd5689, yevg and Kingbot have dropped some favourites/follows! This also brings us past that big FIVE-OH!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - FISHOOK LINE AND SINKER**

Soff T hated this prison, not just for the obvious reasons but because that landscape was gorgeous. He had no idea how a hotel floor could contain so much water, but he knew that beach in the distance would be perfect to golf on. Somehow, despite being frozen in time, he could still smell the salt spray in the air.

A translucent shadow loomed over his portrait. If he could, he would've shuddered. That ghost terrified him.

'I hate ta tell ya this, mate.' The ghost said. 'But if that green bloke and the sheila don't get here soon, I'll be forced to roast ya on the barbie.'

Soff only had one thought in his mind.

_Luigi... get here **quickly**!_

* * *

The 'Spectral Catch', floor twelve, was probably Polterkitty's favourite floor. All that water aside, it was full of her most favourite things - fish, fish, and more fish! Poor Chef Soulfflé; cooking both fine meals and seafood dishes must've been hard.

Daisy began to salivate the moment the doors opened. 'Mmm... anyone else smell seafood?'

Polterkitty purred at just the aroma alone. Polterpup gave her a look, mostly because she was drooling directly into his head but partially because he wasn't keen on seafood. Luigi found the smell to be alright; Mario was the seafood guy among them. The lobby looked like any old restaurant reception, but with a more nautical theme. The little fountain with a mini ship floating around a tiny island looked especially nice.

'This could be either really good,' Daisy said. 'Or really bad.'

'Arf arf woof.'

'Polterpup says his money's on the latter.'

A green carpet led to the right, past the empty reception desk. Next to that, underneath a couple of swinging fishing nets, was a door. Just one problem - said door was completely obscured by the bow of a full-sized wooden ship.

Upon seeing it, Daisy threw her arms up in exasperation. 'That's it. I give up. There's no point in questioning this crap anymore.'

Luigi peered through a hole in the hull, and saw the round double-doors on the other side. The steering wheel décor that surrounded it was pretty neat.

'Okay, so all we have to do is get through this hull.' He said. 'The real question is... how?'

'**Hey Master!**' Polterpup barked. '**Look at what I found!**'

Luigi stepped away from the ship and saw Polterpup in the corner. The spectral hound, Polterkitty, and Daisy stood by a big socket that emitted a yellow light from its holes. Polterpup sniffed at the odd object, but the moment his nose touched it a electrifying shock circulated throughout his body.

'YIP!'

The plumber rushed over to him. 'Boy, are you okay?'

Polterpup shook his entire body like he had just gone for a swim. '**Yeah, yeah, it's all good. Just got shocked in more ways than one.**'

Luigi peered at the oversized socket, making sure not to accidentally get zapped himself.

'Any clue what this thing is about?' Daisy asked, scratching her head.

'Not a clue.' Luigi said. 'Maybe it's a-'

The socket unleashed a strong burst of light directly into his eyes. He jumped back with a yelp and shielded his face from the flash. It left the Polterpets stunned like they had been hit by the Strobulb.

'OH GEEZ!' Daisy cried, covering her own eyes. 'Goodness, is that how the ghosts feel?'

The Poltergust rumbled and growled like a dog demanding a treat. A stream of electricity jumped from the socket and into the vacuum's engine, and the baby roared like a departing aeroplane. The nozzle doubled in size in Luigi's hands.

'OH BABY!' Daisy yelled, falling heavily into her Southern twang. 'Looks like we've got some Super Suck action goin' on here!'

Polterpup and Polterkitty, upon hearing that, high-tailed behind Luigi and away from the dangerous device.

'Look at that!' Daisy said. 'If we find one of these electrical sockets, we don't even have to bother with the Thunderhand!'

Luigi lifted up the nozzle - even without needing to sustain a ball of lightning, he struggled to hold it - and aimed it towards the ship's hull.

'What are the chances that I destroy the whole place?' He asked.

'Far too low!' Daisy responded.

The moment Luigi pressed the 'suck' button, the giant tornado of 'suckitude' returned. It seemed a lot louder in that crowed space compared to the great sandy hall, and a lot more destructive too. Everything in the path of the Super Suction disappeared into the Poltergust. Plank by plank the ship's hull got dismantled by the unforgiving vacuum. The nets hanging by the ceiling fell victim to it too. It only took a few seconds for the Poltergust to eliminate the boat completely.

'Alright, ya did Luigi!'

Just one problem - the Super Suction didn't want to stop. It just kept going.

'Uh, Sweetie, you can stop now.'

'IT DOESN'T WANT TO!'

It ripped the wallpaper off from the wooden planks they were stuck to, revealing a green pipe above the doorway. Then, it finally decided to stop. Well, after sucking up the doors themselves. Only then did it think it had enough. The electric stream ended, causing the Poltergust to return to normal. What remained behind the scattering dust was just the doorway, minus the steering décor and the doors themselves.

'Oops.' Luigi murmured.

Polterpup gave him a look. '**Having a little too much fun there?**'

'I swear, it wasn't me! I let go of the button but it just kept going. I don't know-' He gasped. 'D-Do you think it was _Gooigi_? I mean, he lives in the Poltergust. Can he control it?'

Daisy chuckled. 'Even if you could control the Poltergust from inside it, which does sound plausible, Gooigi isn't sapient. Heck, I don't even think he's sentient.' She stared at the goo, and her smile faded. 'Then again, weirder stuff _has_ happened on this trip...'

With the doors to the next room ripped clear off, the smell of the salt water wafted into the hall. It, like any scent of any water, made Polterkitty tremble. Behind those non-existent doors was quite the lovely sight. The inside of the restaurant itself had been done up to resemble a sea cave, with the paths and walls made entirely of uneven rock. The way the stone reflected the light made it obvious it was just plastic, but it still looked impressive.

Daisy's eyes sparkled. 'Oh, wow...' She said, stepping through the doorway. 'This is cool...'

A genuine waterfall poured out from a hole in the wall, filling the cavern with a light mist. It turned into a river that flowed goodness knows where, probably somewhere to magically begin the process anew.

Daisy inhaled the fresh scent of flowing water. 'This is what I mean when I say this place just needs some advertisements. The theming in this death trap is **amazing**!'

Luigi followed her into that gigantic room. He had to agree, it was probably the nicest place in the hotel by far.

'We'll help with this hotel's marketing _after_ we banish King Boo and Hellen Gravely from it.' He said.

'Oh, absolutely. The poor workers deserve more credit.'

The other side of the cavern had what appeared to be a giant stone skull guarding the end of it. The quartet travelled across the plastic-rock path, marvelling at the gorgeous landscape. The tables consisted of barrels, along with little wooden stools that were used as chairs. As they passed by the waterfall, over a small but surprisingly stable rope bridge, Luigi stopped by it for just a moment. The natural white noise of the falling water relaxed his nerves. In a world of seemingly nothing but sensory overload, the nice sounds were even sweeter.

Through the eyes of the stone skull, a pirate ship in a vast ocean of all things could be seen. As our heroes approached it, they came across what appeared to be a round wooden bar in the middle of an open space. Another bar, this one rectangular and covered in fish that really needed to be refrigerated, stood by the wall. A Trapper stood in the middle of the ring-shaped bar, using one of her tongues to hold a glass and the other to wipe it clean with a cloth. Perhaps not the most hygienic way to wash dishes, but it beat straight up using her own spit, and it wasn't like ghosts cared so much about that anyway.

As the mortals and their pets walked past, she greeted them with a stereotypical pirate accent and a voice far deeper than usual for a female ghost. 'Where are ye landlubbers off tah?' She asked without even glancing at them.

Both Luigi and Daisy flinched from the unexpected greeting.

'Don't mind us.' Daisy said. 'We're just going to see... Captain Fishook, I think his name is? We won't bother you if you leave us be.'

'Right. Thar be a grand captain beyond me doors. I don't remember me mortal name anymore, but ye can just call me Barkeep. Fancy any drinks before ye mess wit' me captain? Lucky you, I ain't in the mood ta charge yer for it.'

Daisy walked up to the bar, and slammed her hand against the wooden surface. She delivered a mighty stink eye to Barkeep, whose apathetic expression did not change.

'Got any beer?' The princess requested, cocking an eyebrow. 'I've needed one for about the past three days.'

Barkeep shook her head. 'Got no beer left fer bilge rats like yeh. Me captain always drinks every last drop. Tis his favourite drink, ye see.'

Daisy groaned. 'Of course...'

Luigi puffed out his chest, and repeated her slamming-hand-on-table action. It hurt more than he was expecting, but he did a good job at hiding it. He imitated her demeanour, and spoke in his best 'tough-guy' voice.

'I'll take a **milk**.'

Daisy barely contained a laugh. Only by trying to act tough could he get any cuter.

'Thar milk be fifty years outta date.' Barkeep said. 'Are ye okay with that?'

He grimaced. 'No, not really...'

'Suit yerselves. I understand me drinks are either expired or out. Me boss hasn't let me buy any fresher drinks fer decades. The ghosts may be okay wit' it, but sometimes I just want me drinks ta be fresh.'

Daisy glanced at the stone skull. Its mouth opened, via the teeth moving independently to the rest of the face, revealing another set of double doors behind it.

'If ye care ta hear at all,' Barkeep said. 'Me captain is in possession of a portrait wit' a Toad in it.'

Luigi gasped. 'That must be Soff T.'

'I figured ye'd be excited ta hear that. I'll give ye a warnin' 'fore ye take him on. Me captain is always riled up, thanks ta me boss forcin' him ta run a seafood restaurant when he hates seafood. Yer'll find out why when ye see him.'

'That's not unnecessarily vague at all.' Daisy remarked. 'Thanks.'

Barkeep returned to her glass washing, muttering something about a lack of business. The rotting pineapple next to her blender probably had something to do with it.

'So why won't Polterkitty tell us anything about Fishook?' The princess asked.

'Apparently, Fishook wants people to be surprised when they meet him.'

'Eh, guess that's fair.'

How much of a surprise Fishook possibly could've been was yet to be seen, but he must've been a surprise if the beach _wasn't_.

Upon opening the doors hiding behind the skull, our heroes felt like they had been transferred directly to a night-time beach. Not only did this room put the grand sandy hall to shame with its size, but most of it was a mini ocean. Palm trees - _real_ palm trees no less - decorated the bench alongside the dunes and barrel tables. A statue of a mermaid Goob waved to them from the waters.

'You know,' Daisy said. 'The gigantic ocean is fine. But how in the ever-loving lady Rosalina is it up so **high**?! I'm no architect, but I'm sure that breaks a few dozen rules.'

The walls and roof had been painted like a night sky, including a little crescent moon pinned on with a great big nail. A wooden dock extended from the beach, and had a bell at the end of it.

'Uh, it's okay for you to question that,' Luigi said. 'But I'm more worried about the ship.'

'About the- hang on, what?!'

The object of greatest interest was no doubt the grand pirate ship off in the distance, partially covered up by artificial fog.

Daisy sighed. 'Welp, if the rest of the floors are an indication, that ship is where we wanna be. Let's get this over with.'

The wooden boards of the dock creaked under their feet, doing little to reassure them that they wouldn't fall into their watery grave. Polterkitty watched as the rest of her team stepped onto the dock, her eyes dead set on the wavy water. She put her paw onto the planks, but the second it creaked under her weight she backed away.

'Hey Kitty!' Daisy called. 'You coming?'

The Panthergeist stared at the fake ocean with her eyes wide open. Her body was as stiff as a plank. When she finally moved again, she lay down and hid her face behind her massive paws.

'Too much water.' Luigi said. 'I haven't told you this yet, but... Polterkitty was drowned by her owners.'

'Her owners did _what_?! God, some people are just garbage. No wonder she's so scared of water. If she wants to sit this fight out, she can do that.'

The trio reached the end of the dock, and Daisy punched the bell that was just asking to be rang. The ringing of the metallic instrument echoed through the entire hall, and the ship in the distance began to move. It drifted away, into the fog, until it couldn't be seen any longer.

Daisy peered out and stared hard through the thick clouds. 'Can you see it, Sweetie? I got nothing.'

'No. But I can hear it. And it's getting closer!'

As if to prove him right, the ship emerged from the fog. It had gotten closer alright - the mighty vessel's hull almost scrapped against the dock as it came in to port. A wave caused by its sudden turn splashed onto the dock and just barely missed our heroes.

'Oh my gosh!' Daisy yelled, jumping away. 'Right. You weren't kidding.'

Once the ship was in position, the captain didn't even bother with an anchor. The wide plank extended out, covering the trio with its shadow.

'Back away!' Daisy cried, before she shoved Luigi back.

The plank slammed onto the pier, landing at Daisy's feet, right where Luigi was standing just a moment ago. The walkway settled into place, leading up to the deck of the ship.

'That's an invitation if I've ever seen one.' Daisy remarked. 'Shall we, first mate Luigi?'

'Uh, we shall, Cap'n Daisy.'

The crewmates, minus their aquaphobic panther, embarked onto the mighty vessel. If this ship was a fake, it wasn't clear. Honestly, it seemed like an actual old pirate ship, or at least a damn good recreation. The same barrels and stools from before decorated the deck.

Polterpup nudged Luigi's leg and whimpered.

'No, Polterpup!' Luigi yelled. 'You may **not** give it a reason to be called a _poop_ deck!'

'Hey look! I can see Soff T.'

Daisy said that only _partially_ to change the subject. She pointed up to the quarter deck, where the portrait of the final Toad rested by the mizzen mast, nailed to the wooden post. Luigi could've sworn he heard Soff calling for his help.

'So, how do we get up there?' Luigi asked, scratched the side of his head.

'Maybe there's a ladder up there or something.' Daisy said. 'I think Poltiepup should-'

'YIP YIP!'

Polterpup stood on the ship's port, looking over the edge while yipping like mad. Luigi and Daisy ran after him, and peered into the ocean. Only one thing lurked in that fake ocean, and it wasn't exactly good. It was a shark fin, pierced with a gold ring, approaching them. Luigi gulped and went pale. Daisy shuddered, remembering her near-death experience in the Boilerworks.

'Oh no... don't tell me.' She muttered.

'Daisy, are you thinking that shark might be-?'

'C-Captain Fishook?'

Before the shark could take a bite of the hull, it emerged from the ocean like a snapping crocodile out of a river. It unleashed a mighty roar as it threw its hook into the air. Wait, **hook**?!

Luigi and Daisy screamed and backed away, both falling over backwards in the process. This was no ordinary shark ghost, if there ever was one to begin with. His entire right fin was a giant hook, and he wore a patch over his left eye. Scars covered his body, and several of his teeth were golden.

'CAPTAIN FISHOOK IS A SHARK?!' They yelled at the same time.

Captain Fishook smirked, showing all of his razor-sharp teeth. 'That's right, mates. G'day ta you too.' He said in a thick Australian accent. 'Like the ship? She's a real beaut, ain't she?'

Luigi gulped. 'Y-Y-Yeah! She's gorgeous.'

The ghostly shark chuckled. 'What's a coupla sooks like you doing on me ship anyhow? It ain't good for a bloke like you ta be all the way out in me watery outback.'

Daisy stood up and dusted herself off. Well, Polterkitty had certainly followed up on that 'surprise' factor alright.

'Uh, Captain Fishook,' She said. 'We're just here to take that ugly painting off your, er, hands? Fins? Hook? Oh, and if you also have an elevator button we'll take one of those too.'

The old pirate snickered. 'Elevator button, huh? I reckon you're talking about _this_.'

He lifted up his eyepatch, revealing the thirteenth button lodged in his empty eye socket. The sight made Luigi cringe.

'A beaut, ain't it?' Fishook said. 'After all the troubles me hussy of a boss has given me, I appreciate the free glass eye. If you mates want it back, you gotta do it the hard way.'

'Which involves...?' Luigi asked.

Fishook grinned. 'Come on out, me mateys!'

Four more ghosts emerged from the deck cackling like witches. They swam through the air, looping and spinning about with surprising elegance. They were not any of the five types of ghosts our heroes had encountered up to that point; in fact, they weren't even human. All four were just like their boss - ghostly sea animals.

The bottlenose dolphin wore an eyepatch and suffered from many scars around her blowhole and mouth. The electric eel was missing half his teeth, and he had a big hole in his skull where a hook would go. The leopard seal wore a cloth over her head, which appeared to have been bashed in. The box jellyfish seemed a little dehydrated, and some of her stingers were made of wood. Unlike Fishook, these ghostly animals could only make regular old animal sounds. To Daisy it was a mess of clicks and barks, but Luigi heard every word they were spouting.

'Meet me mates!' Fishook said. 'Delfina the dolphin, Enguio the eel, Nagi the seal, and Awahia the jellyfish. These are mates I met while on me adventures in me watery outback, victims ta fishing. And they'll be helping me out. Isn't that right, mates!'

The crewmates cheered and howled for their leader. From thin air, it seemed, each pulled out a barrel and held onto it. The barrels had a fuse that was already going down.

'And as for me... well, you know what they say. A good captain always goes down with his ship!'

Twirling around in the air, he disappear into his ship's deck. Luigi and Daisy were not the most confident; if our heroes' experience with the last couple of portrait-guarding ghosts was anything to go by, they were in for some very bad times.

Watching all the way from the entrance, Polterkitty gulped. '(Oh I have a bad feeling about this!)'

The wooden planks began to twitch, as if slowly springing to life. A pair of boards turned dark, and crossed over to form an 'X' shape. Six more connected together to create a thin rectangle, and another still moved towards the side of the ship just slightly. When that plank moved, a glowing red eye appeared underneath it.

Delfina cackled. '**Oh yeah! Suck on that ya landlubbers!**'

Enguio rolled his eyes. '**Real mature, Delly**.'

The dolphin glared at him. '**I've eaten people for less than that!**'

Awahia would've frowned if she had a face to do so. '**Do we have to fight among each other now? Our Cap'n needs us.**'

Nagi sighed. '**What's the point? Delfina never listens anyway...**'

Daisy inched towards the glowing eye, slowly and carefully. Experience told her that absolutely anything could happen.

'BE CAREFUL, SHEILA!'

Daisy jumped back with a scream. The wooden shark opened his 'mouth', revealing a set of big splinters for teeth and a bright red void for a throat. Fishook's voice came out of this nightmarish mouth.

'I forgot to tell you the conditions.' He said. 'If ya blokes lose, I get ta roast you on the barbie!'

'Yep, that sounds fair.' Daisy remarked, without a hint of sarcasm. 'I mean, if we lose we're probably gonna be dead anyway, so might as well put our bodies to good use.'

Luigi did not agree with her sentiment, if his pale face was anything to go by. Polterpup delivered a rant to the ghostly shark that shall not be repeated.

'POLTERPUP!' Luigi scolded.

'What did he say?' Daisy asked.

'You do not want to know.'

Fishook laughed. 'Sorry doggie, but where I come from that word's a term of endearment. I appreciate being called your mate. Shame it won't help you. MATEYS, ATTACK!'

Delfina snickered, and threw her barrel into the air. On its way down, she kicked it away with her tail. It headed straight for the mortals.

'Oh dear Grambi!' Daisy cried.

Polterpup jumped into the air, and delivered a headbutt into the explosive barrel. It bounced away from our heroes and landed somewhere else on the deck, where it promptly exploded. Somehow, the ship didn't get a single dent.

Delfina growled. '**Make like a corpse, and stand still!**'

'Don't worry, me angry sheila.' Fishook said. 'I'll get 'er!'

Like the deck was nothing more than the surface of the water, the wooden shark began to move through the planks with his mouth wide open. You know the dread that one can feel when they're swimming in the ocean and worried that the moving shadow beneath them is a shark? Compared to the horror circulating through Luigi's blood, that was nothing.

'RUN!' Daisy yelled.

Luigi obeyed her order, and dashed away. Daisy ran off too, but in the opposite direction. You'd think that Fishook would need a moment to decide which one to go for, but he chose his victim without a second's waste.

'Daisy!'

The princess ran away from the possessing beast, sweating profusely. Death by shark may have been surprisingly high on her 'best ways to die' list - coolness factor and all - but not exactly like this.

'**Sorry about this,**' Awahia said, as if Daisy could understand her. '**But I gotta obey me Cap'n and all that!**'

The box jellyfish opened up her stingers, and the barrel in her grip fell straight down. Daisy, purely acting on instinct, swung her fist upwards and punched it. She managed to send it flying all the way into the ocean, where it exploded into a glorious fountain.

Nagi whimpered. '**We're never gonna win this...**'

Enguio groaned. '**With an attitude like that, I'm shocked you haven't taken over the world yet.**'

Daisy picked up a stool lying knocked over on the floor, and tossed it into the beast's jaws. The seat fell into the red void, and Fishook chomped it to bits. Unsatisfied with this meal, he spat out the remains. Little was leftover aside from sawdust and shards. It only stopped Fishook for a moment, and only because he took the time to laugh at her. He charged right after her, and the only thing stopping him from devouring her was her own speed. Which, considering that she was a mortal with lungs, could only last so long.

'**Oh yeah.**' Enguio said. '**You've got a _great_ chance of survival.**'

The electric eel tossed his barrel her way, aiming it in such a way that it was guaranteed to hit with the path she was taking. She was too focused on escaping the jaws of death to notice. Luigi, unsure if it would actually help, aimed his Poltergust up and activated its suction as the barrel passed overhead. The gadget's force managed to disrupt the explosive device's path, where upon it drifted out of its trajectory and got stuck on the nozzle.

'**Well, thanks for ruining my fun.**' Enguio remarked.

The barrel began to flash red, and Luigi fired it in a random direction. It exploded just a couple seconds after in the air, scattering ash everywhere.

'**Well, gotta give you credit for trying!**' Awahia said.

The way that jellyfish spoke came across as more condescending than nice. The fact that she, along with her crewmates minus the seal, laughed at the screaming princess didn't help.

'I don't understand.' Luigi said. 'Why are they focusing so much on _her_?'

Polterpup frowned. '**I think it's pretty obvious. Boaty McBoatface here needs you _alive_. Your Sweetheart, though? Ms Gravely doesn't care about _her_. Boaty's quite smart, actually. By eliminating her, it makes getting _you_ so much easier.**'

'**Oh gee.**' Enguio muttered. '**How did you come to _that_ conclusion?**'

Luigi took the oddly calm - from his point-of-view - moment to think. A shark moving through his own ship, chomping away at all that came near him? What could he possibly do about that? The answer came to him when he saw the barrel in Nagi's hold. Daisy ran for the ramp that led to the deck, only for Delfina to swoop in right in front of her.

'**I know you can't understand what I'm saying,**' The dolphin said. '**But did you know that dolphins kill for fun? And did you know I'm Fishook's most feared mate for a reason?**'

Though Daisy indeed couldn't understand Delfina's words, she certainly understood that 'take one step further and I will immolate you' look. She backed away from that bottlenosed ghost, unaware of the wooden shark drifting towards her with his mouth wide open.

'**Why haven't ya thrown your barrel yet, Naggy?**' Delfina asked the seal. '**Just do it already!**'

Nagi looked to the floor. '**What's the use? If they managed to beat Amadeus and Serpci, they can certainly beat us.**'

'**Aw, no need for that attitude!**' Awahia said. '**Even if we don't win, we can be happy that we gave it our all.**'

Enguio rolled his eyes. '**Yeah, I'm sure that's how people who lost wars think.**'

'**Why do you have to be such a downer, Engy**?'

Luigi watched that seal. She didn't have the enthusiasm to do anything with her weapon. In fact, she didn't even throw it. Her flippers drooped, and the barrel slid out of her grasp and onto the deck with no fanfare whatsoever. It didn't even hit the floor hard enough to actually explode.

'**Nice one.**' Enguio muttered.

'**I don't see why we should bother.**' Nagi said. '**Let's just surrender and get it over with.**'

'**HELL no!**' Delfina cried.

It all only took about three seconds, but to Luigi it lasted hours. He ran over to that ticking barrel, got it into the Poltergust nozzle, spun around, and fired. Daisy turned around, and for a moment she saw the bottomless jaws awaiting her arrival.

'AHHHH!'

The barrel tumbled into Fishook's mouth before the shark could figure out what was going on. He stopped charging after the princess, and the plank above his 'eye' shifted to more reflect an 'ah, crap' expression.

'Ahhh... fair dinkum...' The captain muttered.

***KA-BOOM***

Ash erupted from the wooden mouth, soon followed by a ghostly shark flying out of his deck. His crewmates gasped.

'**CAP'N!**'

Fishook emerged from the explosion, coughing out several lungs worth of soot and muttering enough swears to put Ginny's sailor mouth to shame.

'I'll give you chooks credit,' Fishook said, stopping to cough some more. 'You've got some bloody impressive brains.'

Daisy smirked, having just barely recovered from her fiftieth near-death-experience. 'Well, I'm not so sure about _me_, but I know that Luigi's super clever!'

The titular plumber blushed. All of the crewmates yelled and screamed and shouted, so much so that their protests were barely comprehensible.

'**Oi, leave our captain the hell alone!**'

'**Gee, you're just a bunch of nice guys, aren't ya?**'

'**Aw, I knew that would happen...**'

'**Hey, that's mean!**'

Fishook waved his hook around in the air, quieting his seafood crew. Everyone went silent.

'Calm down, mates.' He said. 'I don't want ya getting hurt. I'll take on the sheila myself.'

Daisy gulped. 'Uh, mate, can we think about this first?'

'Seeing as my harlot of a boss won't close down this blasted restaurant until I deliver that green bloke to her, no.'

The crewmates cheered him on, flying out of the way of the oncoming battle, while Daisy got herself ready to dodge any sort of attack coming at her. Fishook gave her a toothy grin, and wound up his hook like it was a sword.

He swung it at Daisy like a sword too.

Daisy jumped back. The tip of the hook skimped right past her stomach - had she been an inch closer, it would've slashed straight through her skin, and she did not feel like accruing another laceration.

'You're a cracking little sheila, aren't ya?'

'Yeah, well, my athleticism's really all I got going for myself, so...'

Fishook chuckled. 'I think I like ya, even if you're more annoying than a mozzie. Shame I gotta obey me boss.'

He wound up his mighty hook once again, but this time brought it way higher. Above all else, Daisy knew she needed to run. And run she did. With a glint in his good eye, he waited just a second before swinging the hook down into the deck point first.

'DAISY!' Luigi yelled.

Daisy leapt out of the way of the shiny implement of death, striking the landing as if she were merely in a long jump tournament. She could've definitely gone without scraping her knees and sustaining at least five splinters though. Fishook's dreadful weapon missed, but that wasn't the worse of it. He managed to jam it right into the floorboards, not just leaving a big hole but also getting it stuck. And considering that it was attached to his 'arm', the result was him flailing his body around to try to get himself unstuck.

'Oh, blimey!' He murmured. 'That was a bloody terrible idea, now wasn't it?'

'I'll say!' Daisy yelled.

Luigi ran for the immobile shark, ready with his Strobulb, but Daisy had other ideas. She ran at Captain Fishook and bashed him square in the nose with enough might to make Little Mac envious.

'AH!' Fishook exclaimed. 'Crikey!'

The force was enough to dislodge his hook from the deck. Daisy gave him a cocky smirk as Luigi and Polterpup's jaws dropped. The crewmates gasped and jeered.

'D-Daisy?!' Luigi yelled with double the usual octaves.

Fishook rubbed his nose and grinned. 'Well, ain't you a li'l kicker? Ya know, if you join me mates and let me present that green bloke to me boss, I'll spare ya.'

Daisy scoffed. 'Over my dead body!' She quietly added, 'Hopefully not literally.'

The captain shrugged as much as a shark possibly could shrug. 'Oh well. It's been a while since I've had some good meat on the barbie anyway.'

His voice was overwhelmed by that of his crew. They ranted and raved at the mortals, with the kind of language that Luigi could not have even imagined. Even the pessimistic seal joined in on the heckling.

'Calm down, mates! Calm down! I know you wanna defend me, but I don't wanna put you in danger. What kind of captain would I be if I did that? No, you mates gotta stay outta this. I'll deal with the mortals meself. No more barrels! I've got a much better idea.'

Polterkitty stared at the ship, knowing exactly what was to follow. God, did she want to help, but with her magical pendant weighing her down she had no way of getting to Green Man without going over the... water. She felt so ashamed of herself. Green Man and Mean Lady could overcome their fears like nothing, and here she was afraid of something that couldn't even hurt her anymore.

Fishook smirked at our heroes, and flew into his ship's quarterdeck. All four crewmates laughed at the mortals, deriving great pleasure from their inevitable demise. As if him and Daisy couldn't feel anymore petrified for their lives, Luigi heard a voice. Whose voice? Whoever it was, it sounded like it came from his own body.

'_Bad things. Not end well. Worried. Very worried for big bro._'

Luigi had no time to question what that ghostly voice was about when the tall wall in front of him suddenly sprouted a wooden eyepatch. The red glowing eye returned and, despite its lack of a pupil, stared right at Daisy. The wooden maw, all the way from the left to the right, opened up. Inside was the red abyss, plus three rows of sharp teeth resembling oversized splinters. Fishook roared like a lion, for no other reason than to unnerve our heroes.

'AAAAAAHHHHH!'

'WHAT IN THE HELL?!'

It worked.

Fishook cackled. His voice came out noticeably deeper and raspier from inside his wooden vessel. 'Lemme tell ya sooks something. I don't even care what happens ta ya! I just want to be as far away from this blasted restaurant. I'm tired of having to throw me watery-outback mates on the barbie, and getting rid of you is me ticket outta here!'

Delfina snickered. '**Oh baby! He's gonna go for the big one this time.**'

Awahia cooed. '**Aw, this move is my favourite!**'

Enguio grinned. '**Took ya long enough.**'

Nagi smiled, but just for a moment. '**Eh. It _might_ work...**'

That's when Luigi and Daisy noticed something very off about the deck they stood on. It seemed a little less flat than it was before. In fact, it felt like it was progressively sloping down towards the gaping mouth.

_Uh oh._

'Uh, Sweetie,' Daisy said like her life was on the line, with sweat trickling down her face. 'Is it just me, or is the deck beginning to tilt a little?'

Luigi unleashed a squeak. 'Fishook is tilting the entire ship!'

'Oh sh- AH!'

Fishook opened his wooden jaws into a grin, fully intent on having more humans for dinner. One of the regular barrels used as a table fell onto its side, and rolled into the mouth. It disappeared into the red abyss without a trace.

'Okay, Luigi!' Daisy yelled. 'Any ideas? At all? Anything! Diving into the ocean. Abandoning Soff T. I'll take putting on an impromptu song-and-dance sequence!'

Luigi looked around, for any possible solution. Most of the stools and barrels had already tumbled into Fishook's mouth, and the rest were soon to follow.

'**You forget one thing, Boaty McBoatface!**' Polterpup declared. '**They've got a ghost on their side!**'

The spectral hound rushed to save his master and friend, only to be stopped almost immediately when Delfina grabbed him by his collar.

'**Hey! Let go of me, ya porpoise!**'

'**Hey bud.**' Delfina said. '**Dolphins and porpoises are different things, ya specist.**'

'**Good to know. Let go of me, ya _dolphin_!**'

'**Nah, I don't think I will. Oh Awa!**'

The jellyfish responded to her nickname, and wrapped her still-organic stingers around the puppy. The moment her tentacles made contact with his ethereal skin, Polterpup suffered the most unbearable pain he had ever felt. To outsiders, he was just yelping, but to Luigi and the other animals, he was screaming. Delfina, not wanting to get stung herself, let go of Polterpup and let her mate take care of him.

Awahia giggled. '**You like fun facts? Here's a really fun one! The toxin of a box jellyfish is so potent and excruciatingly painful, that many victims die before even reaching the shore!**'

Polterpup couldn't even respond to her. See, the only plus side of getting stung by a box jellyfish is that one's suffering will not last long. For a ghost, who couldn't escape the pain through the sweet release of death, that one upside no longer mattered.

Luigi was very good at angles inschool, and he estimated the ship had tilted to at least forty degrees. Fishook seemed to be taking his time on purpose, just to taunt them. The plumber continued to look around for anything that could help. His eyes fell upon the ship's bow. The wall seemed nice and flat, good enough for a suction shot.

'Wait, I've got something!' He yelled.

He fired a plunger at the wall, and his heart rate relaxed just a bit when it remained stuck to the wall. Keeping his shaky grip on the Poltergust, he ran over to the rope and got it into the nozzle.

'Luigi, what are we-?'

'GRAB ON AND DON'T LET GO!'

Daisy had further questions, but seeing as her feet were beginning to slip she rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around his body. The mortals could feel their feet leaving the deck, but the plunger kept them firm in place. Soon, the floor disappeared out from under them completely. The Poltergust kept a fine grip on the rope.

'Daisy,' Luigi said, holding onto the Poltergust even though it had straps. 'Can you look down for me?'

'Uh, sure, if you w- HOLY CRAP!'

Daisy looked straight down, and bore witness to the jaws waiting for prey right underneath her. She gripped onto Luigi tighter. Thank Grambi the Phantasma-Gloves overcame her sweaty palms.

'I'm sure you already know this,' She said. 'But don't let go!'

'I, uh, really wasn't thinking of doing otherwise.'

Fishook laughed, keeping his mouth wide open. The rest of the crew laughed along with him, though they could barely be heard over Polterpup's cries of pain.

'That may be a bonzer plan, mates.' The captain said, his voice echoing in the massive room. 'But you underestimate me patience. Even if ya plan on staying there forever, you're gonna get thirsty eventually. And when you bite the dust, I'll still be here.'

Luigi scowled. 'I'm-a willing to stay here for as long as it takes. I'll save my brother or die trying, but I'm not giving up!'

It just got the rest of the crew to snicker. In some role reversal, Daisy did not agree with his heroic sentiment. Her eyes were glued to the jaws of death below, and her skin was soaked with sweat.

'L-Luigi,' She managed to gasp out. 'I don't think we can stay here forever. This plunger's gonna give out sooner or later.'

'I know, but...' He sighed. 'If there's a chance, no matter how tiny, of us saving our friends, I have to take it. And I refuse to give up. If I'm gonna die, I'll die fighting. For my bro.'

Daisy whimpered. She looked around the room - at the maws of doom, at the laughing crew, at the suffering puppy, at the terrified panther in the distance... and back at the jaws. Her grip on Luigi weakened slightly, but not by accident. She thought hard - _very_ hard - about this decision. Unfortunately, she could see no other option.

'Luigi,' She said. 'Before I commit to this, I need to talk to you.'

'... ... ... What are you planning?'

Daisy sighed. 'I'm going to let go.'

'WHAT?!'

The mocking laughter of the crewmates only got louder with each passing second, but Luigi didn't notice it anymore.

'**Why** do you want to do that?!'

'Listen. Fishook has made it clear he just wants to kill _me_. He needs you _alive_. But we cannot survive this together.'

'B-But... there's a chance! Daisy, please, I can't do this without you.'

'Okay, so answer me this. It's either me, or Mario. Who would you rather save?'

Luigi shuddered. It wasn't the question, nor even the supposed 'difficulty', that made him feel ill. Nothing of the sort. It was that he knew the answer immediately.

'Tell me, Luigi. Who would you-?'

'Mario.' He stated. 'Big bro, above anyone else.'

Daisy huffed, not surprised at all. 'Exactly. I'm **nothing** compared to Mario, and I'm okay with that. I'm just your girlfriend. Mario is your _brother_. With me gone, you have a chance to rescue him. As is, we're both dead.'

Luigi squeezed his eyes shut, failing to hold the tears back. 'I can't let you do that.'

'Why not? A sweet man like you is gonna find another girlfriend.'

'Because I don't _care_ that you're my girlfriend! I love you for **you**, Daisy!'

Daisy began to cry too. For a moment, she held onto him tighter. Truthfully, she did not want to leave him. Ever. But, looking down into the abyss, she saw no other options.

'I love you, Luigi.' She said. 'And that is why I have to do this.'

Taking one last look into his crying eyes, she let go.

'DAISY!'

Her fall came to an abrupt start before it could begin. Luigi kept his grip tight on her wrist, using his other hand to make sure the Poltergust did not release.

Daisy felt her blood boiling. 'Grrr... Luigi! Why did you do that?!'

'Because I've already lost Mario, and I'm not ready to lose you too!'

She groaned. 'I don't wanna do it either, but it's the only way you and Polterpup can save Mario and free the hotel workers!'

Luigi did not respond. He just stared into space, as if putting all of his concentration power on something.

'Just let me go!' Daisy cried.

'Daisy, do you hear a voice?'

'Uh... no?'

'It kinda sounds like... Gooigi.'

Of course Daisy couldn't hear it. The voice seemingly came from directly inside Luigi's mind, like someone was using telepathy to talk to him.

'_Worried for big bro. Not want princess hurt. Not want big bro hurt. Want to help big bro. Must help big bro._'

That was the same voice from before, and now Luigi was certain it was Gooigi.

'_Must help big bro. Must help big bro. **Will** help big bro!_'

Luigi suddenly felt himself getting a little lighter. The green goop inside the Poltergust plopped out and didn't even gain its proper shape before it plummeted into the jaws below.

'You... you deployed Gooigi?!' Daisy yelled.

'I-I didn't! He... he must've deployed himself somehow.'

Fishook slammed his jaws as the goo fell into his mouth, and he chewed it up. Well, he tried to. The first couple of chews did a good job of spreading the goop until it covered most of his teeth. Very soon, his jaws slammed shut. The crewmates gasped.

'**Cap'n!**' Awahia cried. '**Are you okay?**'

'**What the hell did that goo do to you?!**' Delfina yelled.

'**Well, that went well.**' Enguio muttered.

'**Oh, I knew this would happen...**' Nagi whined.

Fishook tried to cry for help, but he simply couldn't. The only sound he made were muffled grunts and whimpers.

Luigi smiled. 'Gooigi did it!'

He could feel his grip on Daisy's arm weakening. Even if there was no gaping mouth left, he didn't want her to fall so far.

'**WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!**' Delfina demanded.

'**Poor Cap'n.**' Nagi said.

Luigi, too, felt bad for the ghostly shark. Holding onto Daisy's wrist tight enough to cut off circulation to her hand, he found a way to solve this his own way.

'Uh, Cap'n Fishook?' He said. 'If you level the ship, we'll help you out.'

Fishook, past the wooden frame, put on a pathetic 'you mean it?' face.

'I mean it. All you gotta do is level your ship and I'll-'

Fishook complied to his request immediately, and lowered the bow of his ship quickly enough to give Luigi and Daisy bad cases of vertigo as their knees slammed into the deck.

'Oh god!' Daisy yelled, before she seethed through her teeth. 'Couldn't of done that any slower, huh?'

The captain left his ship and returned to his relatively normal form, except he still had the goop jamming up his jaws. He looked like a poor little puppy dog with peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he made the appropriate whimpers. Luigi hooked up the nozzle to the Poltergust, and approached the poor shark.

'**OI!**' Delfina yelled. '**Get away from our Cap'n!**'

'Guys, I'm just trying to-'

'**Yeah, cos you're very trustworthy around ghosts.**' Enguio said. '**Listen, we got a deal for you.**'

Luigi gulped. 'Alright?'

Delfina pointed to Awahia, who still had Polterpup in her tentacles. '**Leave our Cap'n alone, or we'll keep your mutt!**'

Any outsider looking in would not have understood what Polterpup was going through. He lay limp and relaxed in Awahia's clutches, even through the horrible pain. After all this time, the agony was the norm.

'Let him go right now!' Daisy yelled. 'Or I'll have to resort to violence!'

'**You know who you're talking too?**' Delfina asked. '**I could bite you in half if I wanted to!**'

'I didn't understand any of that, but I think I can confidently say that I punched your Cap'n in the face.'

Luigi continued to approach the captain, focusing on him and not his pet, as hard as it was. If he could just talk to Fishook...

'**Don't even bother with her, Delly.**' Enguio said. '**A mortal like her would never reach us anyway.**'

'**And besides,**' Awahia said. '**What if that green landlubber really does want to help our Cap'n out?**'

'**We can't take any chances!**' Delfina yelled. '**You've seen what this man does to ghosts. We can't let him hurt our Cap'n! Keep the dog tangled up until the green man complies.**'

The fur on Polterkitty's back stood up. Her strong feelings went unexplained, but she felt them nonetheless. To think that the suffering dog was the same one she completely ignored back when they first met. Master said dogs were dirty. Dogs were mean. Dogs were scary.

Polterkitty no longer believed it.

'ROOWWRRR!'

She charged across the dock, paying no attention to the water beneath her. That jellyfish lay in her sights. She unleashed one more yell before she pounced.

'Polterkitty?!'

'G-Gattina!'

The Panthergeist pushed Polterpup out of the way, freeing him from the grip and agony.

'MROOOOOW!'

Except now, Polterkitty was the one trapped in the stinging tentacles. She took the pain no better. The other crewmates did not laugh though. Oh no. They looked _horrified_. Even with the faceless Awahia, one could notice her tentacles fanning out ever so slightly.

'**Awa!**' Delfina demanded. '**Let go of her at once!**'

'**Aw...**' Nagi murmured. '**Poor kitty...**'

Awahia released her immediately and the poor Panthergeist fell to the deck, too exhausted to even land on her feet. Polterpup floated down to her in a hurry.

'**Kitty? You... you did that for _me_?**'

Polterkitty managed to smile. '**T-That's what friends are for... r-right?**'

'**Yeah, that's right!**'

All four crewmates ignored the mortals and focused only on the ghostly panther.

'**Waitaminute. Waitaminute! Wait. A. Minute.**' Delfina said. '**You telling up that little Barbie is on _their_ side?!**'

'**Wow... I-I...**' Enguio failed to put his words together. '**Um, alright. All sarcasm aside, I am genuinely surprised.**'

'**Oh no.**' Nagi muttered. '**They must be working for Ms Gravely.**'

'Ms Gravely?!' Awahia cried. '**Nagi, claiming such a thing is borderline slander! Let Barbie tell you what's going on.**'

Polterkitty staggered to her feet, and explained everything to the other ghostly critters. Well, everything aside from 'I might double-cross him later'. They all gasped.

'Do you finally get it?!' Daisy yelled. 'We're not here to hurt anyone. When my Luigi says he just wants to help, he means it. So how about you put everything aside and let him help your captain!'

The crewmates all looked to each other, before they turned back to Luigi and nodded in agreement.

'**Please,**' Awahia pleaded. '**Help our Cap'n. We'll give you anything.**'

'You don't need to give me anything for helping your friend.' Luigi said. 'All I want is our Toad friend, and the elevator button.'

Delfina groaned, but still floated over to the Toad portrait. She proceeded to rip it clean off the mast, which damaged the frame but fortunately not the painting itself.

'**Okay, I got the painting.**' She said, glaring at him. '**Now help our Cap'n already!**'

'**Gee, yelling at him's a good way to convince him.**' Enguio remarked.

'Whatever you're saying, shut up!' Daisy yelled. 'Just let Luigi do his thing and we can all be friends, okay?'

Luigi got far closer than he'd ever expect himself to be to a shark's mouth, but felt a surprising lack of fear. He knelt down in front of Fishook's massive jaws, and gave him a soft pat on the nose.

'Just stay calm, Captain Fishook.' Luigi said. 'I'll get that icky goop out of your teeth.'

Up this close, Fishook looked more than a sad puppy dog than a menacing pirate shark, and Luigi found it quite cute. As he leaned forward, he could hear Gooigi talking to him.

'_Did good? Saved big bro? Helped big bro's princess?_'

What a moment it was. Luigi felt like he was hearing his own child's first words. When speaking on his own, Gooigi's voice sounded more innocent and sweet.

'Wait, is Gooigi **talking**?!' Daisy asked. 'H-How? He isn't sentient! ... Is he?'

Luigi gave his gooey counterpart a smile. 'You did very well, Gooigi. Fishook isn't happy, which is unfortunate, but you saved our lives.'

'_Big bro... proud?_'

The plumber felt his heart stop. He finally knew what it was like to be Mario, and he loved it.

'I'm very proud of you, Gooigi. But Fishook is cool now. It's time to return home. Can you do that for me?'

'_Return home! Make big bro proud!_'

Like he promised, Gooigi returned to his container on the back of the Poltergust. With him back at home, Fishook's jaws were free. His frown turned to a toothy grin, and he launched himself forward.

'LUIGI, LOOK OUT!'

The ghostly shark rubbed his nose against Luigi's chest like an affectionate little cat. Turns out, he was perhaps more animalistic than he let on.

'G'don ya, mate!' He said, almost knocking Luigi over. 'I didn't think a bloke like you would be so kind!'

'Hehe... it's, uh, kind of a specialty of mine.'

'I can't just hand you over to me boss after that! I'll give you exactly what a mate like you needs.'

He reached his good fin behind his eyepatch, and yanked out the button from his eye socket. With much hesitance, Luigi held out his open hand and let Fishook drop the button into it.

'Delly!' The captain ordered. 'Bring that pictured fungus over here!'

Delfina obeyed her captain's orders without a question and handed Daisy the portrait. One quick use of the Dark-Light later, Soff T fell from the tapestry and onto the deck. He took one look at the pirate shark, and...

'AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!'

... ran for his life to the exit door.

'Um, should we go after him?' Luigi asked.

'Nah.' Daisy said. 'You know that ol' softie. He ain't going far without us.'

Fishook looked up to the ceiling, appearing not happy nor sad but instead... fearful. He gulped just thinking about his boss.

'Listen mate,' He said. 'I love me watery outback, but... I fear what that hussy will do to me and me mates. If she finds out that I willing let ya go...'

Daisy smirked. 'I think we've got a good solution to your problem.'

'Really? Fair dinkum?'

The princess stared at him for a bit, unable to understand his foreign speak.

'What language was that?' She asked.

Fishook gave her a look. 'English. I'm askin' if you're telling the truth.'

'Oh. R-Right. Heck yeah!'

'Oh, crikey! I'll take whatever you're planning.'

* * *

**_CAPTAIN FISHOOK, THE PILLAGING SHARK_**

_AGE - ?_

_GENDER - Male(?)***** (See footnote)_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Eaten by a shark/Harpooned_

_Captain Bruce Fishook used to be a human pirate, until he was swallowed whole by a shark. His soul bonded to that of the fish, so when he was harpooned he returned as a ghostly shark. Luckily for him, he thinks being a shark is freaking awesome._

_*****While his mind is male, thus making that his gender, his biological sex is technically female due to his feminine shark body. Debates have risen over whether or not his gender should be listed as male or female. Since the term used here is 'gender', we have listed it as 'male'. Do not start arguments about this._

* * *

**Author Notes - Captain Fishook is Australian because I am rather patriotic for an Aussie. Also because I thought it be funny to make my readers expect a 'AVAST, YE LANDLUBBERS!' and instead they get a 'G'day mate'.**

**OH YEAH, and Gooigi can talk and sorta act on his own accord now, albeit on very basic levels. Expect to hear him talking a bit throughout the rest of the story. Why? Cos I thought it would be neat to have him become more sentient near the end.**

**The 'have a milk' joke is based on a very similar joke from the _Super Mario Brothers Super Show_, by the way.**

* * *

_If there is one lesson you take away from Captain Fishook, it's this: never stab a shark in the eye with your hook. Why else do you think he wears an eyepatch, even as a shark? There's also a good chance he would've returned as a human had he not done that, but he loves being a beast of the sea._

_As awesome as being a shark was, Fishook didn't feel like himself anymore. His pirate brain felt weird in the shark body. So, he tore off his own fin and replaced it with a giant hook, even though it was painful as hell. Such an act could be seen as risky and horrible, but many other people who are uncomfortable in their own bodies look up to him. In fact, his own yearning to feel comfortable has encouraged many to do the same._


	29. Time To Get a Gym Membership

**Author Notes - Not the biggest fan of 13F, and only because it kills all my speedruns. Except for the SUB 3 run, where it went relatively well except for me getting the worst RNG on the machines for the THIRD TIME IN A ROW!**

**But seriously, this bloody floor is almost entirely a bunch of smaller puzzles, and in case you haven't noticed I mostly remove those for the sake of flow and minimising padding. SO THIS WILL BE FUN! To make up for the inevitable removal of most of the puzzles, I'll be putting a lot of focus on that bloody weight room Hammer duo. Seriously, those Hammers are a boss fight on their own. And yes, I vaguely remember dying to them.**

**_Psst..._ there's a trick to avoid that entire fight. Just hold the Dark-Light button the whole way across the room, and you will inexplicitly avoid the trigger for the fight. I have no idea why this works, but it does, and it's quite possibly my favourite skip in the game. Seriously, even the 6F skip, as amazing as it, is a pain to pull off sometimes.**

**This first scene between Hellen Gravely and King Boo is... intense, to say the least. Let's just say that those Frollo comparisons from way earlier will really make sense. In all seriousness, it's probably the most sexual thing I've ever written (which isn't saying much), and it's not written to be pleasurable. Blame Shana Hager - some scenes in their _LM3_ adaptation likely inspired this when I read it. Would I recommend it? Yes, as long as you're not sexually-repulsed like I am, which is completely a preference thing on my part.**

**I hope you've been catching up on your physical as of late, because Helnat and Digidemon had added their favourites/follows!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - TIME TO GET A GYM MEMBERSHIP**

'HELLEN! I am sick of your constant failures!'

Ms Gravely didn't even spin her chair around to look at him. She didn't want to acknowledge that he was there, even though she could feel his glare upon her. It gave her the tingles.

'Your hotel trap is very impressive, I must admit, but it doesn't mean crap when it fails at the most important opportunity!'

Hellen's eye twitched. The way her darling Polterkitty basked in the plumber's attention both worried and sickened her. The fact that he and that princess were only a few floors away only made her feel worse.

'Listen, Hellen. I'd hate to say this, but I need you. If that dirty coward can defeat me twice, he can absolutely defeat me a third time.' He groaned. 'Do you see how desperate I am, Hellen?! I am admitting that I need you!'

She decided it was about time to turn her chair around and look at him. That evil in his angry eyes made her shudder, but not because it frightened her. Oh no. He hadn't looked that angry this entire scheme, not even when Luigi escaped the first time.

And she **loved** it. She stared, blissfully, into those furious purple eyes.

'You won't hear me admit that to anyone else. Hardly even myself. I've grown no more powerful since our last battle. I needed you to break me out for Jaydes's sake! But now, even your patented hotel trap isn't working.'

She couldn't be scared of him when he was like this. That unbridled rage and insanity dripping from his every word, that desperate look in his eyes, that voluptuous purple tongue...

'Are you even listening to me?! That infernal DJ is paying more attention than you right now!'

She wasn't quite sure how she hadn't notice just how gorgeous he was. Perhaps his fear tactics were working surprisingly well. Or maybe her own increasing insanity led to this. Either way, she adored it.

'HELLEN GRAVELY! Can you just listen to a single damn thing I'm saying?!'

Oh, and his words. His livid voice. He turned her on like she was a lamp. She powdered her face up, and drifted out of her chair. King Boo stood in place, no longer angry but now very confused.

'Um, Hellen? What in the Underwhere are you doing?'

She fluttered her eyes at him and gave him a toothy grin.

'Wha... Ms Gravely?'

She flashed him a wink and blew him a kiss.

'I- can you just pay attention for one moment!'

She pressed her cheek up against his. Oh, did his skin feel just amazing, like a warm fluffy marshmallow. It made her feel warm and fuzzy.

'Get away from me!'

She inhaled his lovely aroma. Her incense and detergents simply did not compare to the real thing. She sniffed him once more.

'I- I-... uh-?'

Goodness, if he smelt and felt so sweet, he had to taste good too. To make sure, she stuck out her tongue and slowly dragged it over his ghostly flesh. He tasted better that she could have ever imagined.

'MS GRAVELY! GET AWAY FROM ME AT ONCE!'

King Boo shoved her away and floated far, far back. The slap he gave her across the face, only partially on purpose, snapped her right out of it. She looked up from a daze, to see the royal phantom breathing heavily. For the first time in seemingly forever, King Boo looked to be genuinely unnerved.

'What the hell is wrong with you?!' He yelled. 'I'm hellbent on seeking revenge on that green mortal trash, but that? That was...' He shuddered. 'What was that?'

Hellen Gravely gasped. 'I am so sorry, Darling! I have no idea what came over me. I promise it won't happen again.'

She kindly left out the 'until we capture Luigi' part of her promise.

'I don't need this right now!' King Boo shouted. 'I have more than enough to be stressed about. I don't need to worry about you... doing whatever the heck that was too! If you've got any ideas that don't involve you tasting me, I'm up to hear it.'

The female ghost's eyes darted around the room. She did not want to admit that she herself was struggling too. Her eyes fell upon the two portraits resting in the corner, and she suddenly smirked as a lightbulb went off.

'Listen Darling,' She said, not dropping the seductive tone. 'I have the perfect back-up plan should everything go wrong.'

His sneer faded. 'I'm listening.'

'We still have two portraits. That coward will want to rescue his brother, but the red man must always save his princess.'

She picked up the portrait of Mario and held it close to her body. The horrified pheromones the plumber gave off were nearly as pleasurable as the king's.

'Alright.' King Boo said. 'Keep going...'

'With pleasure! If you want to spring the ultimate trap on the brothers, I suggest you take that princess up to the roof while I keep Mario's. You see, if the coward manages to save his brother...'

King Boo grinned. 'Then the both of them will meet me on the rooftop! BOOYA!' He cackled. 'I must admit, Ms Gravely, the execution may be questionable at best but you have some impressive ideas.'

Hellen Gravely had to battle hard to fight off her natural Siren urges. Good thing there was no physical body for her to eat.

'Just remember,' King Boo continued. 'I still have my doubts in your ability to help. I am only sparing you right now because you are still accomplishing far more than I could've. Do _not_ let your staff or my subjects know I have said this to you.'

As if Hellen cared about that at all. Support was support, and she could practically taste him again. Finally, that king-sized bed of hers was going to have some proper use, now that her pet didn't need it anymore. Her thoughts were derailed by those of her pet - Hellen wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she was slowly starting to worry that she wouldn't be able to call Polterkitty 'her pet' anymore.

* * *

'So let me get this straight.' Daisy said as Luigi pressed the button for the thirteenth floor. 'After a castle, a massive garden, a movie place, a museum, and a freaking pyramid... we get a regular old fitness centre? Geez, did they have to put all the weird stuff in the middle?'

'Why are you only questioning stuff now that it's normal again?' Luigi asked.

'_Because_ it's normal again! How could everything go from unbelievable and crazy to... the mundane? The _lack_ of weirdness is weird.'

The elevator doors opened up to the thirteenth floor, one that Luigi was dreading just based on its number alone. Unlike the previous few floors that were varying degrees of weird and out-there, this one resembled, well, a perfectly normal place. More specifically, a fitness centre. The weirdest thing was probably the water fountains at the door, depicting two Hammers each lifting the planet itself while spitting a stream of water from their mouths. Which, considering the other floors, wasn't really all that weird.

The elevator hall had an impressive trophy shelf behind glass to the left. A particularly cool one was the dumbbell made entirely of topaz. Luigi inspected them through the glass wall. Most of them were labelled 'Johnny Deepend', and most of those were for water-based sports. Diving, freestyle, water polo, even synchronised swimming.

'Johnny Deepend, huh?'

'Geez.' Daisy said. 'Where do I get a name as cool as that?'

Polterkitty debated with herself over whether or not she should go into details about the Grand Ghost of this floor. Considering his awful past, she knew he hated people finding out a... particular aspect about him. Maybe he'd be fine with a little bit of leaked info, but she didn't want to risk it.

'**Sweet, a fitness centre!**' Polterpup said. '**Master really needs it.**'

Luigi rolled his eyes. 'Boy, have you always been this snarky?'

'**Oh, you have no idea. I only do it cos I love you.**'

There was just one other door, a translucent one that led to the right.

'_Sense bad things._' Gooigi said from inside his glass home. '_Not like it. Worried for big bro._'

Luigi shuddered a little. With how silent the guy had been in the elevator, he forgot that Gooigi could speak on his own now. The fact that the voice came directly from his mind when Gooigi was 'home' didn't help. Despite Gooigi's warning, our heroes embarked for the door.

_*RRRRRIIIING*_

But not before screaming from the nearby phone suddenly ringing without even being plugged in. With a huff, Daisy answered it.

'What?! ... ... No, I don't wanna buy swampland. ... ... ... NO, I will NOT hold!' She slammed the phone back into the receiver. 'Great. So, among everything else, I guess all phones here have telemarketers too.'

She picked up the entire phone and smashed it into the floor. With that out of the way, our heroes embarked into the next room. Again, nothing weird about it at all - just a regular old gym lobby, with a desk, a bench, a shelf with stacks of towels and mats, and a big window that led not to the sky but another room on the floor. Albeit, the desk had some cracks on its top, and no one stood behind it.

Daisy beckoned for a ghost to come closer. 'Alright ghosty, come and get it.'

'Really, Daisy?' Luigi questioned. 'You still haven't learned not to taunt the ghosts?'

'It's either make them come to me, or they make me go to them.'

As if in direct response, a volleyball slammed into the other side of the glass wall with a mighty THUD that made both Luigi and Daisy jump. Polterpup waltzed over to the window and peered through it.

'**Oh great.**' He said. '**I think I found who we're looking for**.'

The rest of the team approached the window, and saw a pool on the other side. The chlorine-filled water was home to a ghost, who judging by his appearance had to be this floor's 'Grand Ghost'. His black goggles and green water cap were not his most defining features - that honour went to his muscles. That guy gave Wario a run for his money. And he noticed our heroes peering in on him straight away.

'Hey dudes!' He greeted. 'Name's Johnny. You look like you could use a gnarly work-out.'

Daisy sighed. 'Of course he talks like that. So Johnny! You got any elevator buttons for us?'

'Elevator button? Oh, I know what this is about. You're the dudes who captured all my buddies!'

'Uh...' Daisy gulped. 'N-No we're not. We're just the, uh... pool cleaners!'

Johnny gave her a look that helpfully spelled out that he wasn't buying a single word.

'Uh-huh.' He said. 'That would explain the vacuum cleaner... had you dudes not matched the descriptions I've been hearing about.'

'Look, can you give us the button or not?' Daisy asked. 'Make it easy on us all.'

'Nah. That would totally ruin the fun of it. You feeling up for a gnarly game of water polo? Get through my bodacious gym and I'll challenge you for it.'

Daisy crossed her arms. 'And what's stopping us from just going through that door and doing it the quick way?'

Johnny snickered. 'Cos, dude, if you play my game the totally wrong way, I'll just take my button and go swimming in the lake, where you can't get me!'

'WHAT?!'

As aggravating as Daisy found this Johnny guy to be, she had to admit that he had some smarts. He must've been to be the only one threatening to leave the hotel entirely.

'Daisy,' Luigi said. 'I think we should listen. We don't wanna take any chances.'

'UGH, fine! Okay Johnny, we'll do your game. How do we start?'

'That's easy, dudes! Just turn around and go through the door on your right.'

To further encourage them to follow his directions, he picked up one of the many volleyballs floating in the water and hurtled it towards the window.

***BAM***

'AH!'

Luigi felt bad for Daisy. He was used to being scared of everything and wasn't that ashamed of it. Daisy? She probably hadn't been this scared in years.

'Sweet Luvbi...' She muttered. 'I hope those muscles are just for show.'

'Miaow.'

'Polterkitty says they're not.'

'Of course. Let's just go already.'

She saw fit to smash the bell on the desk with her fist before leading her team through the next door. Once again, the normality of the room baffled her. No weird structures disobeying the laws of physics. No stupidly tall towers. No over-the-top theming. Just a regular old locker room, that to Luigi's disgust smelled like a regular old locker room too. Luckily for Daisy, the sports-loving princess had long become blind to such an odour.

A lonely Oozer chilled by one of the lockers, spraying some deodorant into his underarms. He did so with perhaps too much glee. How ghosts could sweat was a question Luigi did not want answered.

'Ooh... yeah!' The Oozer murmured. 'Really feelin' that burn.'

Daisy got ready to punch him in the face, but he just smiled when his eyes met theirs.

'Oh, hey there.' He held up the spray can. 'Want some deodorant? It smells of roses and new cars.'

'Um, I'd love to take it,' Luigi said. 'But we have important, um, things to attend to.'

'Eh, that's fine. You can come back later. What about you, Orange?'

Daisy crossed her arms. 'Sorry, don't use it. I don't have the time to put it on.'

This statement made the Oozer cringe. How lucky for him that he didn't have a nose.

'You're... you're joking, right?' He asked. 'Do you just not sweat, or...?'

Luigi sighed. 'Daisy, I love you, but can you _please_ wear deodorant for me? Playing sports with you is less fun when you, well, you know.'

'I'll start, just for you, _after_ this mess is over. Does that work?'

'Yeah, that's fine.'

Judging by the looks Polterpup and Polterkitty were giving them, it was time to move on.

'_Need deodorant?_' Gooigi asked.

'Uh, I don't think so.' Luigi said. 'I think sweat would actually dissolve you.'

The Oozer blinked. 'Um... okay then.' He continued with his post-workout care.

Among all the lockers were two more doors. The one of the left had steam seeping through a small vent. Daisy figured that this door would get her to Mr Deepend quicker, but the door handle refused to budge.

'Really?' She sighed. 'Dang door's locked.'

'That's cos that door leads to the shower room, and it's occupied right now.' The Oozer explained. 'I don't know what you mortals think, but we like our privacy. The other door should be good though.'

'Why are you being so helpful?'

The yellow ghost shrugged. 'Eh. Got the news a little while back. Something about Ms Gravely giving up on most of us mook guys and deciding to eliminate us one by one instead.'

Well. That was not the response any of our heroes were expecting. They stared in shock, to which the Oozer hardly noticed.

'And you're all okay with that?!' Daisy exclaimed.

The Oozer shrugged. 'Meh. With a boss like Ms Gravely, you're lucky if she does it quick.' He frowned. 'Poor Grace... I saw her get dragged away. I don't think anyone has seen her since.'

Polterkitty shuddered. How much had Master lost it? How many ghosts were already lost? Now, she was thankful that Morty got to go out peacefully. There was no doubt in the Panthergeist's mind that Master would've brought him down the painful way.

'We have to stop Hellen Gravely.' Daisy said. 'As soon as possible. These ghosts need help.'

'Why else do you think I'm helping you?' The Oozer asked. 'After I saw you crushing my ammo with your own hand back in the mezzanine, I knew you had some power. Remember me?'

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Wait, Owen? Geez, how did I remember your name?'

'Uh, Owen?' Luigi asked.

'Oh, sorry. You weren't in the room when we met. Our meeting consisted of Owen and his sister trying to kill me.' She paused. 'Wait, where is your sister?'

Owen fell silent. His arms went limp, and the deodorant fell to the floor.

'Please,' He pleaded. 'Stop Ms Gravely. Save us all. Keep my niece safe. For the love of Jaydes, even if I rejoin my sister, make sure our little Odette is happy. No child should ever have to pass on in such a horrible way.'

Luigi nodded. 'We promise. I know what it's like to be missing family, but I'm sure you know that.'

'Oh, don't worry. I know.' He chuckled. 'I wouldn't blame ya if you don't remember, but I was the one who was put in charge of hiding that Dark-Light thing. I did a garbage job at it, obviously, but I've been wondering. Was I just lazy, or did some subconscious part of my mind want you find it?'

He waved as they headed for the door of his recommendation. Grunting and huffing could be heard on the other side.

'Oh, heads up!' Owen said, going back to applying the deodorant. 'Some friends of mine are currently working out in that room, Mabel and Mason. One problem, they definitely are still under Hellen's control. Be careful.'

'Note taken.' Daisy said.

It was a weight room, nice and open, with a massive mirror on one of the walls. Racks upon racks were full of weights and dumbbells of varying sizes. Owen's warning was not unwarranted. There were indeed two ghosts using the equipment. He just failed to mention that they were **Hammers**. One of them, most likely 'Mason', lay on his back and lifted some massive circular weights above his chest. The other, Mabel, had boxing gloves on her hands and delivered wallops to a punching bag. It was quickly losing its stuffing.

'You know what I never got, sis?' Mason asked, not even grunting. 'Why do most other Hammers speak like the Hulk? I mean, we certainly didn't back when we were still alive.'

'Mabel not sure what Mason mean!' Mabel said. 'Mabel speak just fine. Hammers speak fine too.'

Mason sighed. 'My point exactly...'

Luigi saw the both of them by the mirror, and had to clamp his hand over his mouth to prevent a scream. Daisy, on the other hand, did not react to herself fast enough.

'AHHH!'

She clasped her hand over her mouth too late. Both Hammers stopped what they were doing, and turned to our heroes.

'Well well well.' Mason said. 'Made it all the way to the thirteenth floor, huh? Hey sis, think we should let them go?'

'Mabel excited to hurt mortals. Mabel want prize from scary boss. Mabel wanna smash!'

'Now that's what I like to hear.'

Mabel pounded her gloved fists together, giving our heroes a smirk as she slowly drifted over to them. Mason preferred to stay in his spot, waiting for the perfect opportunity.

'Oops...' Daisy muttered. 'Sorry, guys.'

'It's okay.' Luigi said. 'We can deal with this. I-I hope.'

He approached Mabel with his Strobulb charging, who came at him almost intentionally slowly. Figuring this wouldn't be too hard of a capture, he unleashed the full-force flash into her face. Just one _major_ issue - she held up her gloves in front of her eyes and blocked the flash. She snickered like a schoolyard bully.

'Oh no...' Luigi murmured.

'Whatever!' Daisy said. 'I can handle this!'

She ran around the armed ghost, who still paid more attention to Luigi than her, and saw her tails up for the taking. The princess chuckled to herself; these Hammers may have had the brawn, but they certainly lacked the brains. She grabbed onto the tails, but before she could slam Mabel into the floor she found out the hard way that Hammers also had good reflexes. The moment her gloves came into contact with the ghostly tails, Mabel spun around and delivered a mighty hook punch to her shoulder.

'AH!' Daisy yelled as she fell to the floor.

'Margherita!' Luigi cried.

Mabel laughed. 'Flower lady think Mabel dumb! Mabel may be ungood at English, but Mabel very smart at combat. Mabel make things very hard for flower lady!'

Daisy gritted her teeth; she had had about enough of being pushed around by violent ghosts. Who said she couldn't just beat the undead brick with her own bare hands?

'Daisy, look out!'

Mason did, apparently. He lifted up one of the many circular weights in his possession without even a single grunt, and tossed it into the air like it was merely a coin. It headed right for Daisy, ready to squish her into a pancake underneath its weight. The princess looked up, and didn't even have the time to scream.

'Mroowww!'

Polterkitty ran across the room, grabbed her by the back of her shirt, and carried her out of the way. The massive plate slammed into the floor where she once was, filling the room with a horrid crashing sound and the floor with cracks. Daisy wrapped her arms around the panther's neck, spouting a bunch of panicked but genuine 'thank you's.

'Remember sis!' Mason said, lifting up another one. 'Just leave the green one unconscious. We need him _alive_ if we wanna get that prize money. The orange one, on the other hand? We can do whatever we want to her.'

'Mabel want money! Mabel do as little brother say!'

Luigi began to hyperventilate. The next door was open, but that didn't really matter with a pair of dangerous angry ghosts on their tail. Nothing prevented them from simply following them through the walls until the end, and he did not want go up against Johnny with an armed Hammer joining in. But what the heck could he do? Up against Mabel and her gloves and Mason and his weights, the Strobulb had no hope of getting through to them.

'**MASTER!**'

Polterpup shoved him to the floor, barely getting him out of the way of another circular weight. This time, it was aimed for Luigi, who didn't notice it coming his way. Once the plumber realised what just happened, he thanked both Grambi and Jaydes that they had two ghostly animals on their side.

'Polterpup,' He said, slowly getting to his feet. 'Do you have any idea what we can do?'

The spectral hound scoffed. '**Other than waiting until the floor inevitably collapses beneath us? I got nothing.**'

Luigi gulped - he felt like he was going to faint.

Daisy rubbed her shoulder as Polterkitty helped her get back on her feet - something almost definitely popped, which she much preferred over her bones breaking or turning to dust. Mabel refused to let up, and threw another punch. Daisy leapt back, and the fist just barely missed her other arm. Polterkitty growled and snarled at the boxing Hammer.

'Mabel not care about kitty! Mabel willing to pound kitty, even if kitty boss's pet!'

Polterkitty didn't stop growling, doing a good job at directing Mabel's attention away from Daisy. To think that, just a week ago, she would've fled and left her new 'friend' to die at the arms of an attacker. Now, she couldn't even think about doing such a thing, even to Mean Lady.

'Alright Kitty, I appreciate the help.' Daisy said. 'But you could get hurt!'

Polterkitty didn't listen. All she wanted was to help. She took one quick glance at Mean Lady's chest, and the scars that covered it. One look at the bandages reminded her of her own crimes, and no matter what she could not forget that it was her who hurt her friend so badly.

Perhaps Mean Lady was 'Mean Lady' for a very good reason. It just fuelled Polterkitty's yearning to help. She was going to make up for that no matter what it took. She found herself unable to look away from her own damages, so much so that she didn't notice Mabel winding up one hell of a punch. The Hammer slammed her fist into the Panthergeist's stomach, launching her into the wall. Unable to simply phase through, Polterkitty smacked against the wall and screamed.

'Polterkitty!' Daisy cried.

Luigi cringed as he watched it unfold.

'_Want to help._' Gooigi said. '_Help somehow?_'

'I don't know if you can, li'l bro.' Luigi replied. 'Those punches and weights will reduce you to goop.'

'_Must help somehow. Say what could do._'

'I-I don't know. J-Just stay in the Poltergust until we think of something, okay?'

'_Okay. Will listen to big bro. Big bro always know best._'

Daisy, in a fit of rage, rushed forward and tried to punch Mabel in her face. The Hammer blocked her fists with her boxing gloves, chuckling to herself. Undeterred, Daisy swung a punch again, only for it to be blocked all the same.

'I can do this forever, you know!' The princess yelled. 'So you better give up now.'

'Flower lady not understand.' Mabel said. 'Flower lady mortal. Flower lady run out of energy sooner or later. Ghost not run out of energy, so Mabel kill mortal when mortal get tired!'

'If you think that, then you don't really know me.'

Luigi ran out of the way of yet another weight being thrown his way. He could practically feel the floor buckling beneath his feet, and there was a shockingly high chance that beneath him would be the fake ocean in the Spectral Catch. Perhaps that was indeed Mason's plan, but he didn't want to wait to find out.

He gasped - he just had an idea! Whether or not it would work remained to be seen, but it was better than nothing.

'_Big bro have idea?_' Gooigi asked. '_Help with idea, maybe?_'

'Uh, you might be able to help if you want. What if we could trick Mason into hitting Mabel for us? It may work, but it sounds... dangerous.'

'_Will do it for big bro. Do it just fine!_'

'Um, are you sure? I know you can regenerate, but I don't want you to think you should get yourself hurt for me.'

'_Big bro do same thing. Want to return favour. Big bro always save friends. Want to do the same._'

Polterpup ran over to the injured Polterkitty, while Daisy continued to box off with the Hammer while showing obvious signs of fatigue. Mason picked up one of the weights already on the floor, and got ready to chuck it again.

Luigi sighed. 'Okay, if you really wanna do it.'

'_Happy to help big bro!_'

Gooigi deployed himself with a happy little cheer, and Luigi was face-to-face with his gooey doppelganger. Seeing the monochrome man standing perfectly straight and 'alive' without any assistance was... odd, to say the least.

'G-Gooigi?'

'_Been sentient, always. Lacked knowledge though. Didn't know how to do things on own yet. Watched big bro a lot, even when consciousness swapped. Learnt a lot of things. Ready to return favour!_'

Luigi began to see Gooigi as not just his little brother, but his own son - a sentiment that sounded a lot worse than he thought it would. Or daughter; whatever Gooigi wanted to be, Luigi would support it.

'_Do what, though?_'

'Um, see if you can get up close with Mabel. I don't know if Mason will try to hit you, and honestly I'm not sure if I want him to.'

'_Okay with it. Can regenerate anyway! Big bro can't._'

'Alright. Just, please, be careful.'

Gooigi walked across the floor with a stride very similar to Luigi's, except a little sluggishly and more basic in a manner akin to a somnambulating Luigi. However, it didn't seem like he was struggling to mimic his 'big bro's manner of walking. It was more like he was trying to find his own way.

'_Hello_.' He said, waving to Daisy.

The princess yelped. Though not the first time she had heard him talking, it was certainly the first time she had seen him walking around on his own. All that time it had taken her to get used to him was all for naught. Unfortunately, she couldn't take any time to greet him back when she had a ghost to contend with.

'_Hello_.' Gooigi said again, this time to Mabel. '_Wanna be friends?_'

The Hammer took one look at him and scoffed. 'Gooey man think Mabel be friends with him? HA! Mabel laughs at gooey man. HA HA! Mabel turn gooey man to... goo! HA HA HA!'

Mabel shifted her focus from Daisy to Gooigi, figuring that the gummy bear thing would be much easier to crush than a fleshy being. Mason, running through the same thought process, changed his target from Luigi to his gooey counterpart.

'Hold on, sis, I got this.' He said. 'Let's just get rid of this easy target first.'

'Mabel handle this fine!'

Gooigi stood perfectly still. He didn't even have the 'Poltergoo' or the Strobulb in his hand, as if accepting of his fate. Mabel chuckled to herself, and smashed her fists together with Gooigi dead in the middle. He was reduced to nothing more but goop on her gloves. Luigi had to look away. The reassurance that Gooigi would just regenerate didn't make it any easier to look at.

With another laugh, the armed Hammer got ready to pound the princess into dust. Or, at least, she wanted to. It didn't take her long to notice that the goop had practically glued her fists together, and no matter how hard she pulled they would not separate. She ignored everything else around her to focus only on getting herself unstuck, so she didn't realise that Mason had already thrown the weight.

'Oh sh- Mabel!'

The poor ghost had no time to react to her brother's warning. The weight slammed down into the top of her cubic head, not quite flattening her but leaving her more dazed than a headless chicken. Little dark moons spun around her head.

'SIS!'

'You won't find Mabel's report-y, here in Last Resort-y! But Last Resort is spectacular hotel!'

Daisy felt a little dazed herself, albeit for very different reasons. Once her mind returned to reality, she grinned.

'Welp,' She said. 'Sometimes you just gotta fight dirty.'

The princess cracked her knuckles, and grabbed the big ghost by both her tails. In a half-unconscious state like that, Mabel couldn't really do anything to fight back, so Daisy derived much delight from bashing her into the floor over and over and over again. It didn't help Luigi's nerves though - that couldn't have been good for the already fragile floor.

'Unhand my sister right now!' Mason demanded.

'Right after your boss unhands our friends!' Daisy yelled.

'D-Don't you think you're being a little harsh?' Luigi asked. 'It's not like they _want_ to help her.'

'We've been playing Good Cop Bad Cop this whole time, Sweetie!'

Mabel soon vanished into a cloud of sparkling red particles, leaving just her gloves behind. The goop on them flew back into the Poltergust, where it bubbled just a little bit.

'_Did good?_' Gooigi asked. '_Made big bro proud?_'

'You did amazing, Gooigi.' Luigi said. 'I'm very proud of you, li'l bro.'

The plumber looked to Mason, who looked more than little terrified for his afterlife. He didn't bother picking up another weight.

'Uh, you wanna talk about this first?' He asked.

'I'd normally say yes,' Luigi said. 'But it's best for everyone that I capture you.'

Mason did not make himself a difficult target, getting stunned by the Strobulb before he could comprehend what was about to go down. Luigi got him into the Poltergust very quickly, and he began bashing him as soon as he could. Only once the Hammer disappeared into the vacuum did a bad thought dawn on Luigi.

'Oh no...'

'What's wrong?' Daisy asked.

'They were siblings, right? Maybe we should've defeated them with the same methods so they could stay together.'

Daisy smiled. 'Of course you'd be worried about that. It's what I love about you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. They'll be reunited once this is all over.'

She didn't want to tell him that, frankly, she saw the odds of them succeeding getting lower and lower each floor. Our heroes were about ready to move on, before a distressed cry from Polterkitty interrupted them.

'Oh god!' Daisy cried.

'Gattina!'

Luigi and Daisy rushed over to the injured Panthergeist, who had not moved from her spot after slamming against the wall. Polterpup stood by her side, whimpering.

'**Com'on Kitty,**' He said. '**You'll be fine. Ghosts are practically invincible you know.**'

'**I-I know. I just... need a rest.**'

Luigi knelt down and stroked her neck. She purred like mad the moment his hand made contact with her skin, and the soft scratches got a smile out of her. She lifted up her head and pushed it against Luigi's chest, much to his surprise.

'Oh! I see you're just fine, girl.' He said, chuckling. 'You just needed a little bit of love. Why did you do that, girl?'

'**I just wanted to... help. I don't know why though. It felt like the right thing to do.**'

'If you're good to go,' Daisy said. 'I suggest we get moving. I know we've been through a lot, but the longer we delay the longer these poor ghosts are at the mercy of Hellen Gravely. As annoying as Johnny is, saving him next should be our primary objective.'

'Won't argue with that.'

With Polterkitty able to, albeit slowly, get to her feet, it made Luigi wonder how much a pet's wellbeing depended on the presence of their owner. They embarked into the next room, which in massive contrast to the last was surprisingly... tranquil. No big scary ghosts, or dangerous traps, or even blaring ceiling lights. It was a training room, with three exercise bikes on an elevated platform and three treadmills by the wall. It had a few water fountains, and a series of windows revealing the clear night sky. Everything was just quiet enough to be relaxing and not unnerving.

Daisy walked past the bikes and arrived at the next door, which wasn't even locked. 'Hey Luigi, this door's unlocked! We can- Sweetie?'

Luigi paid no attention to the exercise equipment or the door. He and the Polterpups - plus Gooigi - stared out the window. The weather had cleared up, revealing a beautiful array of stars unaffected by any sort of light pollution. Even better than that, the floor gave them the perfect view of a gorgeous bluish-green aurora that appeared to be just outside the window.

'Woah...' Luigi murmured.

How such a horrifying death trap could be home to such a beautiful phenomenon was something he'd never understand. Daisy joined the rest of her team and found herself just as enraptured as them.

'Never mind what I just said about rushing.' Daisy said. 'Let's just take a moment to relax.'

It was like a quick bout of humour in a tragedy - a relaxing break from the horror, necessary to keep people going until the end.

'_Not going to sit on side-lines anymore._' Gooigi said. '_Going to help big bro. Help him save friends. Ready to help. Okay with playing bait. Fine with getting eaten by dinosaur. Will do anything to help._'

'Alright, li'l bro. Just promise me you'll keep yourself safe.'

'_Not sure if want to be called Gooigi still. Fine name, but want to be more than just another big bro. Big bro think that possible?_'

'Of course you can become your own person if you want. What do you want to be called?'

'_Not sure yet. Will think about it._'

'Just tell me when you come up with something.'

Daisy may have known that he was actually talking to Gooigi, but seeing Luigi seemingly talking to himself did make her worry that he was slowly losing it. With only a few more floors to go, it seemed too early to lose it now.

Polterkitty's ears perked at the sound of near-silent scurrying. She noticed a mouse hurrying across the floor, from one mouse hole to another. It took a lot of willpower to not succumb to her kitty instincts. She groaned - after Master banned her from going to this 'icky and smelly' fitness centre, the mouse problem had gone nuts. It was the same case with the mezzanine - ban the kitty, suddenly rodent infestation. She never really thought about it until now, but it really made Master's decisions seem even worse. Poor Chef Soulfflé relied on her eradicating skills too.

'Okay,' Daisy said. 'I think that's enough looking at the pretty lights. If you're all ready to keep going, of course.'

* * *

Charles couldn't focus on whatever King Boo and Hellen Gravely were discussing. He simply didn't care anymore. After watching so many of his friends get captured and witnessing his boss only care about her own selfish plans, he was quickly losing the will to help. He and his wife Sam still guarded the front door, occasionally heading out as per their bosses orders to find the 'cowards' and have them 'properly taken care of'.

Did he and Sam want to do it? _Hell_ no. But he could sense his son in the corner of the office, with the collar wrapped around his neck. Every time he merely moved his neck around to get a look at Lou, the poor Mini Hammer was electrocuted. Charles balled up his fists and growled - how he hated himself. He wanted to rebel against his cruel boss so many times tonight, but he couldn't risk losing his son.

Lou was the only thing he and Sam had left.

'I don't care if he has to get through us first.' Sam muttered. 'I will let him capture me in a heartbeat if it means that he can stop Ms Gravely. That green kid can go through hell for capturing all our friends, but he needs to stop Hellen and he needs to stop her _now_.'

'Don't bother.' Charles said. 'Hellen isn't going to let him win. And, for the love of Jaydes, don't let _her_ hear you rooting for Luigi. Not with our son in danger.'

'Don't you worry about that, honey. If she threatens to hurt our little Louie, I'll offer to take his place. She _will_ accept it.'

Luckily for Lou, he only got his punishment if his parents acted up. Meaning, Lou was free to do whatever the heck he wanted as long as he didn't leave the room. Perhaps it limited his actions, but it certainly didn't limit his words.

'You really think you're gonna win?' He said to his boss, who was barely listening to him at this point. 'Luigi is gonna pound you into ectoplasm! You hear me? He defeated Mr Wolfgeist and Serpci, did he not? If he could defeat ghosts more powerful than you, what chance do you have? What are ya gonna do? Powder yourself up into he's so _enraptured_ by your beauty that he surrenders? Fat chance!'

His little rant came to a stop as King Boo used the magic of his crown to lift the portrait of Princess Peach into the air, and carry her away through the back wall. With the royal phantom gone, Hellen Gravely gave up on trying to remain calm and threw another one of her mirrors across the room.

'THAT CONFOUNDED COWARD!' She shrieked, her hair beginning to frazzle. 'I'd rip out his guts if I didn't need him alive! First he ruins all my plans, and then he takes my own pet away from me. My sweetie... my little darling Polterkitty... WHAT HAS HE DONE TO HER?!'

Lou laughed. 'Of course, if your pet abandons you it's gotta be Luigi's fault. It's not like you yelled at her last time you saw her.'

Hellen gave the young ghost a death stare, which didn't phase him in the slightest. 'Hmph! If she really has befriended that scum by her own freewill, she better hand him over to me the first opportunity she gets! If she doesn't... then I won't _have_ a pet anymore.'

* * *

The room after the training room was even more relaxing, which made sense considering its purpose. The aroma of lavender filled the air, thanks to the incense permeating in the room. Minimalistic but no less calming music played through a small radio.

Daisy inhaled the sweet aroma and sighed blissfully. 'Niiice... someone wanna tell me why the fitness centre is the most relaxing of the floors?'

'Maybe Johnny just really likes to relax.' Luigi said.

Six green mats were laid down on the floor, and half of them were occupied. A Trapper had his tongues wrapped around his entire body, and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to maintain the position. A Slinker sat on her tails, bending her body over backwards until the top of her head met the floor. A duo of Mini-Slinkers and a Mini-Trapper took up the mat next to hers, each struggling to copy the pose.

'Now kids,' The big Slinker said. 'Have patience. Yoga isn't so fun if you rush it. Mind your manners, Sharon; no need to give the mortals that kind of gesture. Now now, Karen! No trying to disappear on me again. I see what you're trying to do, Aaron!'

The mortals decided to leave the Slinker and her three kids alone, and the Trapper didn't seem very antagonistic either. In fact, he seemed too caught up in his own tongues to really notice what was going on, though he did mumble something incoherent that most likely translated to 'Hello there, Polterkitty'. The titular Panthergeist gave a mew in response.

The Slinker, in some amazing feat considering her position, turned her head to our heroes. 'Are you the guys who have been capturing everyone?'

'Uh...' Was Daisy's response.

'Don't be frightened. This is just a little family outing. Isn't that right, honey?'

The Trapper couldn't respond, thanks to his less-than-appealing posture.

'Don't mind him.' The Slinker continued. 'He has the habit of doing a little too well. We're not gonna hurt you. The faster you get to Ms Gravely, the quicker everyone's freed. We're just enjoying ourselves in case Ms Gravely...' She paused. 'Let's spare the details, okay? Johnny's just past the shower room, and lucky for you I think our friends have forgotten to lock that door.'

'Wha... they didn't forget at all!' The bigger of the Mini-Slinkers cried. 'You told us to go in and unlock it so the mortals could free Johnny quicker.'

The Slinker laughed nervously. 'Hehe... Karen, you weren't supposed to say that.'

Of course, chilling in this relaxing room and just doing yoga seemed a lot more pleasant. In fact, Polterpup was already laying on another mat and performing a 'upward-facing dog' pose. Polterkitty took her own mat and proceeded to do what appeared to be some amazing feat involving stretching her back leg all the way out, when in reality she was just licking her, uh, crotch.

'**Do you have to do that here?**' Polterpup asked.

'**Where else could I do it?**' Polterkitty replied.

Daisy groaned. 'Poltiepup, Kitty. If we could not constantly delay the inevitable, that would be nice.'

Polterpup returned to his master's side, but Polterkitty remained in her spot. She stopped cleaning herself, looked to her paws, and mewed out her defence.

'Oh dear.' Luigi said. 'She says that the next two rooms are filled with water.'

'Right, of course.' Daisy said. 'A shower room followed by an indoor swimming pool. Well, I'm sure we'll do fine without her.'

As they approached the next door, Daisy couldn't help thinking about how much the name 'shower room' reminded her of that one cave from _Pikmin 2_. She was never the biggest fan of it; Wollywogs were the absolute worst. At least it wasn't the Submerged Castle. She shuddered at the thought of such a horrible dungeon.

Luigi noticed her unprompted shuddering. 'You okay?'

'Me? Yeah, just fine. Just ended up reminding myself of the worst level in Pikmin 2. Believe me, once you meet the Waterwraith you will never forget it.'

'Uh, noted.'

The other side of the door had something the trio wasn't quite expecting - steam. And a _lot_ of it, so much so they could barely see what was going on.

**Author Notes - Okay, seriously, this 'making Gooigi somewhat sapient' thing has really helped me out with this bloody floor. It means an otherwise hard-to-work-with level has something interesting to differentiate it from those before it. Consider that my record for this floor is eight minutes and forty seconds. Then consider that the world record is about six minutes. It's a pretty short floor once you've memorised the puzzles.**

**I'm getting a little scared at this point, as we're slowly yet quickly approaching the most worrying part of writing any story: not being so happy/excited/desperate to finish it that one rushes the ending. Which, by the way, is quite possibly the worst yet most tempting place to rush. I've had many temptations so far, considering the fact that this will be the first time I finish something of such a grand scale, but I am trying my damnedest to reign it in. I don't want this story to end on a rushed note.**

**By-the-by, Mabel and Mason are named after the twins from _Gravity Falls_, which you'd only get if you knew that Dipper's real name is Mason. I have no idea how well known that is by now.**

* * *

_Johnny Deepend, inspired by Officer Paul Kruller's heroics, wanted to become a hero himself. With his love for water, he saw fit to move to Seaside Kingdom and become a lifeguard._

_He put himself through one hell of a training, becoming ripped in the process. The Bubblaine resort hired him, and he adored helping out and saving drowning victims. Even if he felt... wrong when he didn't appreciate the 'smoking hot babes' but instead one of the male workers at the resort._

_Everything was going great for him... until someone saw him innocently flirting with the worker. His life was never the same, and he hated himself._


	30. Diving into the Deep End

**Author Notes - Got massively distracted playing some _Pikmin 3 Deluxe_. What's going on? Oh, right.**

**Holy crap, the big 3-0. I never thought that I would actually get a project up to this point, and I'm sure as heck not complaining. DEDICATION! Or, as I prefer to call it, STUBBORNESS! Or, even better, NOT HAVING ANYTHING BETTER TO DO! Sorry that this one is a little shorter than the others before it; the fitness centre didn't exactly give me that much to work with.**

**In all seriousness, Johnny Deepend is an... interesting boss. In that he's really not interesting in the slightest. I like the idea of his fight being more of a puzzle than an actual fight, but it really feels like it needed a bit more time in the oven.**

**I say that, but... it took me far longer than I care to admit to defeat him. I understood the puzzle pretty quickly, but it took me forever to realise I could throw the volleyballs at him to knock him out for a few seconds. I'm... I'm smart, I swear. I will say this, however: Johnny Deepend is a bloody awesome name.**

**I hope you've all brought your gym memberships, for digimonhero has added a favourite/follow! (Up to fifty followers now! EEEEE!)**

**CHAPTER THIRTY - DIVING INTO THE DEEP END**

'_Not comfortable._' Gooigi said as he sensed the mist in the air. '_No like water. Vapour harmless, but still scary._'

Steam and mist weren't the only things in the air. Luigi could easily hear multiple showers going off, and at least three ghosts washing themselves beneath them. Peering through the impenetrable fog, he could barely make out two blue glows. He could also barely see Daisy walking forward blindly, feeling her way around as she tried to follow the direction of the sounds.

'Daisy, what are you doing?' Luigi asked.

'Trying to find those showers so I can turn them off.' She replied. 'Maybe then the steam will let up.'

She felt what appeared to be a shower block in the wall, and seeing as there wasn't any curtain or anything in the way she walked right on in. The sound of flowing water got especially loud, and she could feel her feet splashing in a puddle. She ignored the Goob singing off-key nearby and reached for what she thought may have been the tap.

'Oh sweet mother of Jaydes!' The Goob in the shower block yelled as Daisy grabbed his tail.

Daisy jumped back with a yelp, blushingly intensely. Even though she still couldn't see anything, she knew exactly what just happened.

'S-Sorry sir!' She stammered. 'I-I was just-'

'Sorry missy,' The Goob said. 'But this shower is occupied! Just wait your turn.' He paused. 'Even if you smell like you really need one right _now_'.

'Okay, now that was just uncalled for.'

The Goob pushed her away, and continued to bathe himself underneath the running water. Daisy backed away with her reddening cheeks getting hotter.

'Denisha!' The ghost yelled. 'I thought I told you to lock the doors! We don't want anyone waltzing on in here while we're showering.'

'Don't go accusing me, Darius!' The second Goob cried. 'I locked both the dang doors like you told me too. It was probably Dakota's fault again.'

'I'm not dealing with this.' The third muttered. 'I actually took a shower curtain with me. I am not a part of this conversation.'

Luigi cringed - the second Goob had a much more feminine voice than the other two, meaning that the shower room did not have a divide between male or female ghosts.

'Listen guys,' Daisy said. 'I _swear_ I didn't mean to intrude. We just really need to make it to the swimming pool to deal with something. If you could kindly turn off your showers so we can actually see what we're doing, that would be nice.'

The first Goob, Darius, groaned. 'Hmph! We're busy here, and we're not gonna stop for some random ghosts who just came waltzing in.'

'Gh- you think I'm a ghost? Okay then.'

She peered through the fog once again but this time really concentrated and felt around the room far more carefully. Her hands came across something round that spun around in her grip. Giving the ghost a smirk - assuming she was looking in the right direction - she spun the faucet around until it wouldn't turn anymore. Water stopped flowing from the shower head, reducing the amount of fog just enough so Daisy and Darius could actually see each other.

The moment the Goob could actually see her, he screamed. 'Oh my Jadyes! I am SO sorry!'

Denisha moaned. 'Don't apologise. It drags you down to their level.'

'You don't understand! It isn't some random intruder. It's the mortals!'

'Wait, the mortals?!'

Denisha turned her own shower off, once again reducing the amount of mist. Thanks to the third shower being behind a curtain, less steam came from it so the room was mostly visible now. The female Goob emerged from her spot, and bore witness to our heroes. She yelped once she recognised them.

'Oh my gosh, it is!' She yelled. 'And we've ticked them off! Oh god, they're gonna kill us.'

'Or you could just not panic.' Dakota said. 'They don't fight ghosts who refuse to fight. So maybe if you stop you'll be fine.'

The room fell into a silence only filled by the third shower, which Dakota refused to turn off.

Darius gasped. 'Holy ectoplasm! That means we need to get you to Johnny straight away! Oh, we do apologise.'

'I don't.' Dakota said. 'Cos I didn't do anything.'

'NOBODY ASKED YOU!' Denisha yelled.

Luigi and Polterpup glanced at each other, neither saying anything but conveying their 'yeah, I dunno either' feelings through their expressions. The plumber just shrugged.

'So, in other words,' Daisy said. 'You'll forget about this whole thing and let us go?'

'Forget that you grabbed me? No.' Darius replied. 'Let you go? Absolutely. Johnny's just through that door over there.'

He pointed at the door on the opposite side of the room to the other, which was now visible thanks to most of the fog disappearing. Sounds of splashing and flexing could be heard on the other side.

'Noice.' Daisy said. 'How much trouble do you think Mr Deepend's gonna give us?'

Denisha chuckled. 'Have fun.'

Luigi gulped - that did not boost his confidence at all. Still, our heroes embarked for the final room without their panther friend following close behind.

'_Have bad feeling about this._' Gooigi said. '_Sense big scary ghost on other side._'

'We'll be fine.' Luigi said. '_I_ will be just fine.'

'_Know there'll be a lot of water, but will defend big bro all the same. No matter what._'

Once our heroes opened the next - and hopefully final - door, they were greeted by the heavy smell of chlorine. Most of the room was dark except for the pool lights, and the water's surface reflected on the walls and roof. The pool itself took up most of the floor, and was surrounded by mostly-soaked towels. A scoreboard, which listed Johnny's score as '3674', stood up the pool's edge. No one had any time to see where Johnny was, as the first thing that entered their point-of-view was a volleyball aimed right for their heads.

'LOOK OUT!' Daisy yelled.

She shoved Luigi to the floor and behind the scoreboard. The volleyball hit the door so hard it smashed a hole through the wood. The Goobs in the shower room groaned.

'Dang it, Johnny!' Denisha yelled.

The Grand Ghost himself emerged from the water, holding up one of the many balls in the pool. His wet abs glistened in the pool lights, an effect he no doubt was doing on purpose.

'What's up dudes!' He greeted. 'I see you made it through my bodacious gym. Now, are you dudes ready for a totally gnarly challenge?'

Daisy peeked her head around the scoreboard, only to dive back into safety when another volleyball came her way. Johnny laughed to himself, and caught it when it hit the wall and bounced back to him.

'Woah dude.' He said. 'That was, like, totally cowardly.'

Daisy growled through her teeth. 'If you're so brave, why don't you get out of that water and fight me head on?'

'Ooh, no can do babe. Do you, like, think I fight like that just cos my muscles are righteous? Dude, I've learnt from the mistakes of the dudes on the floors below me.'

He chucked another volleyball, this one aimed straight at the scoreboard. It bounced off and back into the water, but not before making the mortals feel like their shelter was crumbling away.

The princess groaned. 'Gah... I was hoping the ripped guy would be an idiot. They usually are.'

'I heard that, dude!'

He responded to her remark by throwing yet another ball, this time with a little more force. Daisy gripped her hairs and pulled on them nearly hard enough to rip the roots right out.

'W-We can do this.' Luigi said. 'I-I hope.'

'I'd hope so too.' Daisy added. 'This scoreboard can only take so much, and then we'll be playing dodgeball. I've never told you this, but... I freaking hate dodgeball. Absolutely loathe it. Some other girl in high school got me right in the stomach, and I've never played it since.'

'**Great fun fact about your life.**' Polterpup remarked. '**That really helps us out here.**'

'Boy,' Luigi said. 'Don't think that you can insult Daisy just because she can't understand you.'

Johnny had stopped throwing the balls at them, just so he could do a little show-off-y dance to absolutely no one, flexing his pecs in particular. Daisy peeped out from her barricade just in time to see him flashing a cheeky wink at her. Luigi took this opportunity to try flashing him with the Strobulb, but Johnny just dove back into the water the moment the Poltergust came out. When he tried flashing directly into the pool, the water diffused the rays too much for them to have any effect.

'Dang it.' Luigi said before he returned to safety. 'If only Polterkitty was here. She might be able to tell us what to do.'

'Well, there's too much water here for her.' Daisy said. 'So we have to make do with what we have.'

'Have fun with that, dudes!' Johnny yelled. 'No one's as bodacious in the gnarly waves as me!'

Suddenly, Luigi got an idea, albeit one that potentially put his beloved ghost dog in danger. The very thought of it made him uncomfortable, but up against a ghost with that much strength he had limited options.

'Polterpup...'

The ghost dog perked up at the mere sound of his owner's voice. '**Awaiting an order, Master!**'

'Do you think you could scout the room? Maybe we can find something that will help us beat this guy.'

Polterpup gave him one of his tail-salutes, and took to the air. Johnny didn't pay much attention to him, focusing more on the mortals who would give him much more money than a mere pest.

'I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.' Daisy said, clenching her fists. 'I'm gonna dive into that water and punch him in the nose.'

'I... wouldn't do that if I were you.' Luigi said. 'The water is his domain, and with muscles like his he might drown you before you get the chance to do anything.'

The princess shuddered. 'Oh Grambi... anything but that. And that Poltergust will make you sink like a rock. I know that from experience.'

'Right. So let's just let Polterpup scout and see if he can find anything. We won't get anywhere by jumping into our literal watery graves.'

Polterpup could see a lot by just hanging by the ceiling. The pool had at least ten or twenty volleyballs, ensuring that Johnny couldn't possibly run out of ammo. The bottom of the pool had what the doggy presumed to be some sort of drain, and that alone gave him an idea.

'(If Mister Deepend likes the water so much, I'd like to see what he'd do without it)'.

The drain by itself was useless if they couldn't actually use it. His attention was immediately drawn to an exposed waterpipe in between two pillars, on the opposite side of the pool to where his friends were stationed. The arrow on the wheel pointed to the far right of the meter, but the very end of the left side abruptly changed colour from blue to yellow. If Polterpup had to guess, the two had to have been connected.

'(Well. This seems simple enough.')

Thanks to Johnny being totally distracted, Polterpup could easily float over to the valve. He grabbed onto it, and began to spin it to the left. The arrow slowly made its way over to the yellow section.

'WOAH, don't touch that, doggy dude!'

Johnny threw yet another one of his balls at the puppy, and just barely missed. Polterpup yelped, and dashed away from the valve and back into hiding. He jumped into Master's arms, who welcomed him with a loving and slightly overbearing hug.

'Boy!' Luigi said. 'Did you find anything?'

'**Oh, I found something alright. This pool's got a drain, and on the other side of the pool is a valve thingy that I'm thinking will drain the water away. With the water gone, this 'dude' is gonna be 'totally' defenceless. Just one problem - pulling on it will leave you completely vulnerable to those volleyballs.**'

Luigi translated the entire thing to Daisy, who immediately got to hatching a plan. The occasional balls being thrown their way did not make the process much easier, especially when Daisy could see a small but no less concerning crack in the scoreboard.

'Okay, so we've got to get over there and turn the thing.' She said. 'Without getting our skin punched in by a game of dodge-or-die-ball. We'll need to distract him.'

Polterpup heard his cue to jump to action again, and floated out of safety. He yipped at the bodybuilder, and shook his butt at him for the extra level of taunt. Johnny took the bait, and tossed a ball his way. Polterpup dodged it without a worry.

'Yip yip!'

Johnny slammed his fists into the surface of the water in frustration. 'Can you, like, stand still, doggy dude? It's totally not tubular if you keep dodging my shots.'

Daisy peeped her head out from behind her barrier, and saw a thoroughly distracted Johnny and a Polterpup enjoying himself a little too much. She narrowed her eyes on the valve, and put her hand on Luigi's shoulder.

'I'm going in.' She said. 'You stay here in case anything goes horribly wrong.'

'Um, okay.'

The princess stepped out from behind the scoreboard, taking great delight in the fact that Johnny still hadn't noticed her. She tip-toed around the edge of the pool, making sure that her every step was quiet and that she didn't slip into the pool.

'HEY!' Johnny yelled. 'Don't think I can't see what you're doing, dudette! What kinda moron do you take me for?'

She shrieked as he tossed another ball, this one whisking past her chest. With her heart beating like a sugar-high clock, she retreated back to her crumbling safe spot. Unfortunately, she didn't quite make it in time. Johnny fired another shot, and this one slammed into her shoulder and chucked her to the floor.

'DAISY!'

She screamed out in pain and held her shoulder like her arm would fall off otherwise. Luigi picked her up by her other arm and dragged her back behind the scoreboard.

'D-Daisy! Are you okay?'

He wondered why he bothered asking that question.

'Oh, I'm just fine! Scrapped knees, an aching shoulder... I've had worse I guess. Good Grambi... I swear, if Johnny hit me any harder, my arm would be broken right now.'

'We just can't risk going out. A shot coming from muscles like those could easily kill us if Johnny wanted.'

Gooigi listened to the conversation, and thought about the situation. He had witnessed the whole thing from his little home, and couldn't bare to think about Big Bro or his friends getting hurt. After all those nights of inactivity, he was going to change it once and for all. Without even warning Luigi, he deployed himself. Thankfully, the floor surrounding the pool was just barely damp enough for him to keep his molecules together.

'AH!' Daisy yelled. 'Oh my g- could ya at least warn me next time?'

'_Sorry._' Gooigi said. '_Wanna help. Turn valve for friends so you don't get hurt. Can regenerate, so will be fine. Friends could get hurt though. So, will do it for friends. **I** will do it myself._'

'Are you sure?' Luigi asked. 'Johnny could defeat you by just splashing water onto you.'

'_Sure. Very sure. I will deal with Johnny. Friends distract Johnny. I not worry about risk._'

Daisy groaned. She was beginning to get a kneejerk murderous reaction upon hearing the word 'distract' now.

'Well that solves one problem.' She said. 'But if Polterpup can't serve a good enough distraction, what will?' She gasped, and smiled. 'Ooh, I got something. Now, what's something that surfer dudes like Johnny here can't resist?'

'Um... waves?' Luigi guessed.

'That, and smoking hot babes. Now, watch as I do my thing.'

Luigi was about to ask what the heck 'her thing' was, when she emerged from her hiding spot and swung her hips at Johnny's way. The bodybuilder almost chucked another ball at her, but the way she walked with her swaying hips and flirty eyes made him stop. She flashed a wink at him, and it was enough to make both Luigi's and Polterpup's jaws drop.

'Uh, babe?' Johnny questioned. 'What are you...?'

Daisy battered her eyes. 'Oh, Johnny. Why even fight us? Someone with your glorious and amazing muscles would demolish us anyway. Don't waste your energy, honey. You don't need to show off. I know you're handsome.'

Even Johnny looked apprehensive, but that didn't stop Daisy for a moment. She got a little closer and blew him a kiss. While she was distracting the surfer with her magic, Gooigi was making his way over to the valve.

'Babe,' Johnny said. 'Why are you-?'

Daisy chuckled. 'No need to talk. I know how much you want this. I work out a lot too, you know. I'd be perfect for someone like you. So, how about we forget about this whole hotel and go elope?'

Luigi's jaw dropped further, which he didn't even think was possible. Now, he obviously knew that Daisy would never drop him for anyone, let alone a ghost so full of himself, but that was the least of his concerns.

'Uh, babe.' Johnny said. 'You-'

'What is it, my HOT honey?'

His eyes darted around the room, and he scratched the back of his head.

'Sorry babe, but it's not gonna work out.' He said.

'What?! Why not? Can't you see we're made for each other?'

'Yeah, about that... I'm kinda into _dudes_.'

Daisy's expression went blank. In that moment, she felt far more embarrassed than the shower room incident just a little while ago. Her whole face turned red enough to raise concerns for anyone, and her eyes twitched.

'O-Oh, so you're... gay. Uh...'

She backed away from him, and into the corner. She proceeded to press her knees against her chest and sit there to die in her own embarrassment. The only sound she made was a low and humiliated whimper.

'Hey, it's totally cool!' Johnny said. 'A lotta babes hit on me without knowing. Don't be so flushed, dude!'

His words of reassurance did not help her at all. She remained in her little corner, refusing to even acknowledge the rest of the world in that moment. Luckily for her, Johnny took pity on her and didn't bother targeting her with more bombardment.

This did not help Luigi's nerves. 'Oh no... now what do we do? With Daisy too embarrassed to fight...'

He gasped, and peered out to see Gooigi on the other side of the pool. Despite not going quite as she had planned, Daisy's distraction had indeed worked. Gooigi had made it most of the way, but instead of going straight for the valve he hid behind one of the pillars. Just in time too, as Johnny spat out a long stream of water from his mouth that barely missed Gooigi as he dove under cover.

'That's a bodacious plan, dudes!' Johnny said. 'But I know that green dude's got one gnarly weakness. And my totally awesome pool is full of it!'

'_I don't like water._' Gooigi said. '_Water is scary. Water messes with my body._'

It appeared that Polterpup's distraction would only serve to give Luigi a chance to think of some sort of idea. With Daisy out of commission, it gave him even less options. He slapped his cheeks lightly - cringing as the paper cut accrued two floors ago reminded him it existed - and tried to get those gears in his mind working. With a gulp, he decided on his go-to strategy: diplomacy. He stood up, and left the safe confides of the scoreboard that appeared to be on its last legs anyway.

Johnny Deepend, for a moment, darted his attention from Luigi to Gooigi and back again with a panicked look on his face. He settled for the gooey man, figuring that he was much more of a problem and not feeling like dealing with the Strobulb.

'Um, Mr Deepend sir,' Luigi said, approaching the pool's edge. 'C-Can we talk about this?'

Johnny did not turn around as he spoke to him. 'You try that a lot, don't you dude? I mean, it totally doesn't work so I don't know why you, like, keep trying it all the time.'

'Well, it works sometimes. And it might work for you.'

'No can do, dude. That babe on the top floor wants me to capture ya, and I ain't disobeying _her_ orders. I mean, you might have a better chance at flirting with me than your dudette, but it's still not gonna work.'

Luigi sighed and took another step forward, ignoring Polterpup's warnings about getting a little too close. The plumber's feet stood right on the edge of the pool.

'Can we just talk about something else, then?' He asked. 'Like, um, what do you like to do?'

'I see what you're trying to do, dude. And it's not gonna work. Nothing will distract me from this weird gummy bear dude.'

Luigi groaned, and took another step forward. 'Johnny, I just want to-!'

He took one step too many, and fell into the water. The sound of his screams followed by a splash woke Daisy out of her trance.

'Oh my Grambi... LUIGI!'

Luigi flailed his arms and legs in a desperate attempt to return to the surface, but the Poltergust dragged him right now. Daisy kneeled by the pool's edge and tried to reach in, but the pool was deeper than double Luigi's height and he was simply too far for her to grab. Polterpup stopped his little distraction game and dove straight into the water, but he couldn't quite lift the panicking man off the floor. Luigi reached his arm up towards his princess, but could only hold it up for so long.

The splash immediately caught Johnny's attention, and for just a moment he fought a mental battle. Did he continue focusing on Gooigi for the sake of his boss, or did he obey his normal instincts and help? He took a quick glance at the drowning man before returning Gooigi. His mind demanded that he focus on the task at hand, but his heart (if he had one) just wouldn't let him to do it.

He made his mind very quickly.

'Hold on, Green Dude!' He yelled. 'I'll save you!'

The bodybuilder dove into the water and picked up Luigi by his underarms. The Poltergust was no match for his powerful muscles, and he brought the man back up to the surface without a sweat. Luigi gasped for air, not yet able to understand what just happened. Daisy was no less relieved.

'Oh my gosh!' She cried. 'SWEETIE!'

'**Master!**'

Luigi spluttered out a mouthful of water, and turned to the face of the one who saved him. He was certainly not expecting his saviour to be the ghost who just mere minutes before had tried to kill his princess.

'J-Johnny?'

The ghost sighed in relief. 'Oh thank Jaydes. I thought you wiped out for a moment there, dude.'

'You... you saved me? You had the opportunity to please your boss, and you didn't take it? Why?'

Johnny smiled. 'Because, dude, I save people from the gnarly waters no matter what! Friend or enemy, the only thing that matters to me is saving their life.'

He heaved Luigi onto the pool's edge, making sure to leave him just far away enough so he wouldn't repeat such a stunt. The pride he felt for another life saved got cut short when he heard the sounds of a vacuum cleaner blowing out air and an old pipe creaking.

His eyes widened. 'Oh no... OH NO!'

Everyone looked to Gooigi, who in the confusion had moved himself forward towards the valve. By the time he had been noticed, he had already used the Poltergoo to move the arrow all the way into that tiny yellow zone.

'_I will do good!_' He declared. '_For big bro!_'

Johnny gasped. 'Wait, NONONO!'

The drain at the bottom of the pool activated, and it spewed out a swirl of bubbles that rushed to the surface.

'Aw man...' Johnny muttered. 'That is totally bogus...'

The water in the pool swirled around like a whirlpool as the level began to lower, and poor Johnny Deepend found himself caught up in the vicious tide. The moment he realised that he was moving with the tide, he attempted his best freestyle stroke to fight against the pull. It was all for naught as the tide grabbed onto him and dragged him down.

Daisy laughed. 'Not so tough now, are ya!'

Gooigi held his free arm up and cheered. '_I did it! I helped big bro!_'

Though he had nearly killed them multiple times, Luigi couldn't help but feel bad for the surfer as he fell victim to the drain. The plumber knew that had Johnny not bothered and let him drown, he would've won by now. Now, he was witnessing a ghost who had saved his life literally going down the drain. Once the water disappeared down the drainage pipe completely, you'd except Johnny to go down with it. Fate had other ideas and, as if life itself was just mocking him, he got his tail stuck in the drain itself. He pulled and heaved, but his body couldn't move.

Daisy laughed even harder. 'Wow! I guess it's true what they say - the bigger they are, the harder they fall!'

Johnny groaned. 'Come on, dude. That was totally uncalled for.'

'Daisy, that's mean.' Luigi said with a serious tone.

The princess scoffed. 'Did we just forget he's been trying to kill us this whole time?'

'Did _you_ just forget that he saved my life just a minute ago?'

Daisy fell silent. Her attention returned to the squirming lifeguard in the drain, struggling against its grip. Part of her wanted to pound him with the volleyball herself, but there was no resisting those big blue eyes of Luigi's.

'_I don't want to hurt him._' Gooigi said, slowly making his way back. '_He helped big bro. Not fair to punish him._'

The princess sighed. 'But then what do we do? He had the button, remember?'

Johnny bashed his fist on the pool floor to get their attention. It worked very well, scaring Luigi in the process.

'Hey dudes, I got a deal for you!' He said. 'I'll give you the button if you let me out.'

Daisy crossed her arms. 'How can we so sure that you won't just pound us into paste the moment we free you?'

'Because, dude, I _wanna_ be captured!'

'You wanna be what now?'

Johnny nodded. 'Yeah, dudes! My boss will totally get mad at me for saving you when I totally should've let you drown, and she'll, like, give me a totally gnarly punishment. The bad kind of gnarly, I mean. So, if you capture me into that vacuum thingy of yours, I'll totally be free!'

Luigi turned to Daisy, and gave her those pleading puppy-dog eyes. At this point, he was doing it on purpose because he knew how well it worked. As expected, Daisy fell victim to the look.

'GAH, fine! It would be unfair to leave him there after he saved your life. Come on.'

Gooigi returned himself to his glass home as Luigi and Daisy climbed down the ladder to where the stuck bodybuilder remained... stuck. He lifted up his goggles from his eyes, and beckoned for a flash attack.

'Wait!' He said, holding his hands up. 'Before you suck me up, can I ask you just one thing? You captured Steward right? The bellhop?'

'Uh, yeah.' Luigi replied. 'Why him?'

Johnny smiled. 'He's my boyfriend. And I bet he's been missing me.'

'Well, I'll be glad to reunite you with him.'

Luigi unleashed a weak Strobulb into his exposed eyes, and Johnny didn't put up any sort of fight. He flexed his muscles a few more times, really emphasising his pecs and abs to no one but himself, before he allowed the Poltergust to swallow him up. The nozzle rattled around, and the button shot out of it, landing on the pool's edge up above.

'Oh Grambi, and he was _taken_ too.' Daisy said, her blush returning.

'Don't worry about it, Daisy.' Luigi said, hooking up the Poltergust nozzle. 'I'm sure he didn't mind.'

The mortals and their puppy climbed out of the pool one by one, and went to retrieve the next elevator button. They did not find the button, but instead a little mouse where the button would've landed. The rodent's body glowed with the same light as the button.

Daisy groaned. 'Oh my god, AGAIN?! Haven't we dealt with this already?'

Luigi sighed. 'Boy, go after it!'

'**Well do, Master!**'

Polterpup charged after the little mouse as it ducked through a hole in the room, and into the shower room. This mouse seemed even more annoying than those from the mezzanine, as it charged across the - still occupied - room without looking back once.

Denisha grunted. 'They still haven't solved their mouse problem?!'

'That's what happens when you ban the cat.' Dakota commented.

* * *

Polterkitty was not entirely sure what came of her teammates. The water in both the pool room and the shower room terrified her far too much to even go near those rooms, so she had remained in the yoga room along with the family of ghosts. She had spent her entire time there sleeping on one of the mats - she was a cat after all, and cats needed their sixteen hours of sleep a day, and sleep was not something Master allowed her to have very often.

Her ears twitched at the sound of squeaking. Her eyes shot wide open, and immediately caught the sight of a mouse scurrying across the floor. Polterpup jumped through the room after it, snarling. Judging by his aggression and the glowing light inside the mouse, she figured it had swallowed the elevator button. She shot to her feet, and hissed at the little rodent.

'(Tell your friends to get to the elevator. I'll take care of this pest myself.)'

'(Uh, alright. If you insist.)'

Polterpup returned to his master, allowing Polterkitty to chase after the mouse herself. It ran past her, back into the training room. The Panthergeist pounced through the door, or at least she tried to. Like always, her pendant prevented anything past her head from getting through. It allowed her to see the little guy ducking into another mouse hole, and she growled multiple curses to herself. That hole in the wall did not lead to another room on that floor, as she had once learnt the hard way. She pushed the rest of her body through with great difficulty, and scratched at the hole. No good.

Snarling, she leapt through the floor with the usual amount of struggle. She could only hope that the floor beneath her was not covered in sea water.

* * *

'Wait, he wants us to do what now?' Daisy asked.

'Yep. He says that Polterkitty wants us to wait by the elevator while she hunts that mouse down.'

'Well, alright.'

Daisy wouldn't say it, but she seriously had doubts that the kitty would return the button to them. She still remembered their little encounter in the Great Stage, and the trouble that she had caused them. In the back of her mind, she still believed that Polterkitty would turn on them. She did not let that belief go.

* * *

Luckily for her, Polterkitty arrived in the cavern in the twelfth floor. Despite living there since it was built, she still didn't understand the crazy way the whole hotel was arranged. Why on earth was that garden just one floor anyway? Regardless, she made her way through the cavern towards the dreaded beach. She prayed that the pest had not gone for a swim, because then she'd never get that button back.

As she travelled through the relaxing cave, she couldn't help wondering... was this what it felt like when she stole the floor six button? She was just obeying Master's orders, but hunting for such an important object was far less fun than she could've imagined. What if she took the fourteenth button herself? Would she be leading those mortals and their ghost dog on this goose chase? Most importantly, did she feel okay with that thought?

She arrived at the double doors that lead to the beach, and decided to open them the old-fashioned way. Little mousy footprints covered the sandy beach, ending at a tiny mouse-sized sand pile. Thanking her lucky stars that the rodent had not gone swimming, she stalked over to that little sand pile. For a moment, she imagined that she was prowling for Green Man, but shut that thought away when it quickly made her feel ill.

Why? Why did the thoughts of stalking Green Man like she had done before without a problem make her feel so sick now?

'Squeak!'

Polterkitty jumped up. The mouse stuck its head out of the sand, and threw sand into her face. The irritating particles tickled her nose, and she took a quick moment to sneeze. Unfortunately, the mouse took that opportunity to squeeze itself through the door while it was still ajar. The Panthergeist cursed to herself, and charged after it. By the time she had opened the door again, it had already disappeared halfway down the hallway. She groaned - her mouse hunting skills had atrophied from the lack of practise.

As she chased after it once again, she hoped to the gods both above and below that it wouldn't find another sneaky mouse hole to duck into. That wish was not to be. The mouse found another little tunnel, and waved to her before it disappeared into it. Polterkitty arrived at the tunnel at the other end of the cavern too late, and unleashed a roar of frustration and irritation. She had never been so tempted to remove that pendant around her neck and smash it to pieces, but she couldn't do that. Master would be very angry if she did something like that.

Once again, from experience, she knew exactly where that blasted mouse tunnel led - the Twisted Suites.

* * *

'I'm sorry Sweetie, but I don't trust her.'

Luigi couldn't blame her for her distrust, but it didn't make him any more happy about it.

'Is it because of... that?' He asked, pointing to the gashes on her chest.

'These? Oh, these are nothing.'

'Then... why haven't you forgiven her for it yet?'

'Easy. If she was aiming for _me_, I would've forgiven her a few floors ago. It's because she was aiming for _you_ that makes such an action unforgivable in my eyes. I'm sure she could find a way to earn my forgiveness, but she really has to own it first.'

While the mortals chatted with each other about the Panthergeist, Polterpup began to regret his decision. Unlike his master, he had long caught onto Polterkitty's little scheme. The longer it took her to return, the longer he began to think that she truly had not changed.

* * *

Polterkitty did not find the Twisted Suites all that fun to venture through the first time, especially after the rooms got scrambled, but it felt so empty and quiet without the trouble-making triplets around to greet and cuddle her. She had picked up the mouse's scent somewhere in the gravity-defying room, and managed to find it hiding under one of the many top hats strewn across the floor and ceiling after she chucked it into the air.

'ROAARR!'

She did not account for the hat falling back down and landing on her head, enveloping her in darkness. She shook the hat off, only to find the mouse getting away from her yet again and escaping into the stage room. At this rate, she would tear the wall to smithereens. The mouse had to have been doing it on purpose, and she didn't like that at all. Having to open the door like a mortal instead being able to seamlessly pass through it like her fellow ghosts didn't help.

The mouse stood on the stage, basking in the spotlight. It waved at her and laughed. That did it for the Panthergeist, and she leapt onto the stage. The mouse squeaked in fear and tried to run away, but before it could get anywhere Polterkitty grabbed it with her mouth and swallowed it in one bite. She sighed in relief - that hellish chase was finally over, and now she could... do what?

She wasn't so sure of it herself, but she had a feeling that she only went after the button so she could keep it all to herself and run off with it. By the time the mortals realised she was never coming back, she'd be long gone. But, now that she had the button, it didn't feel right to run away with it anymore. She stared into the spotlight above her, hearing Master's voice in her head even though Master hardly noticed her anymore.

_Don't return to that green man. Keep that button and present him to me. I will reward you greatly._

Polterkitty ignored this inner voice. She had her doubts that Master truly would reward her the same way Green Man would. So, she made up her mind.

* * *

'I'm giving her five more minutes.' Daisy said, leaning up against the elevator mirror. 'If she's not back by then, I will go looking for her.'

Luigi strummed his fingers against his flashlight. 'I-I'm sure she'll be here soon. It took us a while to get that first mouse, remember?'

Slowly, the thought that she had indeed abandoned them was taking over his mind. He chose to ignore it, but he could only ignore it for so long before he began to believe it. Polterpup had his own doubts. He gave Polterkitty just as much time as Daisy did, and decided that he would spill her less-than-pleasant secret if she failed to return in time.

'MIAOW!'

Which, fortunately, did not come to pass, as Polterkitty frightened everyone by emerging through the elevator floor.

'Gattina!' Luigi cried in joy. 'You returned!'

He wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her tight, pressing his cheek up against her ethereal yet soft fur. She found it rather bizarre; she hadn't even given the button back to him yet, and he was already showing her love for it. Did he already know that she was here to deliver the button? Or, perhaps, did he not care about the button at all and was just happy to see her again? She couldn't remember the last time Master did that.

'Do you have the button?' Daisy demanded.

Polterkitty nodded, and puked the button onto the floor minus the rat who had already been swiftly digested in her body. Luigi wrinkled his nose, but Daisy didn't care and picked up the slimy button anyway.

'Wow. I'm impressed.' She said. 'You actually returned it! I was worried you were gonna run off with it or something.'

The button flew out of her hand, and screwed itself into place. Luigi could almost feel his brother in his arms as he stared up at the mostly-filled elevator panel. After all the weird and out-there floors, Daisy dreaded what on earth the penultimate floor would possibly have been. She did not expect what the elevator tracker told her.

'Um... a dance hall?'

* * *

On floor fourteen, the DJ ghost preferred to spend her time doing what she always did - listening to her jams and playing them on the turntable for her fellow dancing ghosts. As she rocked the disco with her tunes, she couldn't help but notice the button in her possession: button number fifteen. It was the final button, and the one that led to Hellen Gravely's own penthouse suite. One would think that such a valuable button would be given to a powerful ghost like Amadeus or Serpci, or one with clever plans like Ug or the triplets. Instead, it had been handed to Gloria, who spent most of her time just having fun.

She could easily remember the conversation she had with Hellen about it. The hotel owner refused to tell anyone why Gloria of all ghosts had the honour of holding such an important button, even though she was willing to admit that she gave Steward two to 'reward him for all his hard work', a sentiment that Chambrea had more than a few problems with. Once everyone else left, Gloria announced her pride for being chosen.

_'Thanks, like, so much! This is, like, totes amaze!'_

It took Hellen a few moments to comprehend that sentence, and a few more to understand what she was talking about.

_'Gloria,' She said with faux kindness. 'Do you know why I gifted you the final button?'_

_'Um, because my skills are, like, totes to the max?'_

_Hellen giggled. 'Oh no, my sweetie. Do you really think you are that powerful? I have gifted you this all important button because, simply put, once Luigi gets it that means that everyone else has failed. That means he has successfully defeated everyone before you, and at that point you and my other workers have already lost. So, I give you this button so the battle can be over and done with. He'll tear through you like a tank, and he'll get to me far quicker. Do you understand?'_

Gloria hesitated, and nodded.

That conversation was still fresh in her mind, and it wouldn't stop nagging at her. It was slowly making her angry, and she rarely felt anything that wasn't 'unstoppable excitement'. Though she didn't stop her jams, she gritted her teeth. She was going to prove her stupid boss wrong, even if it killed her a second time.

* * *

**_JOHNNY DEEPEND, THE COCKY LIFEGUARD_**

_AGE - 24_

_GENDER - Male_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - Drowned_

_Despite being full of himself, Johnny Deepend was actually a heroic lifeguard who was willing to sacrifice his life to save people. Literally. Now surrounded by other ghosts who don't need saving, he spends his time swimming and showing off his muscles._

* * *

**Author Notes - So, I wanted my story to have a gay couple because why the heck not? I'm not the only one to make some of the Last Resort staff be interested in the same gender, but I may be the first one to really address that almost all of these ghosts died decades ago. So, if Johnny lived in the 50's and 60's, how well would that end for him?**

**Polterkitty chasing after the mouse to grab the button is, of course, referencing the fact that the second Polterkitty chase takes place after the fitness centre, where she drags you through three different floors. With her story arc, her stealing the button wouldn't make any sense for multiple reasons.**

**Oh, I've been doing NOTHING BUT WRITING THIS for the past few weeks or so. Okay, so exaggeration, but I've been working on the last few chapters _far_ faster than before, because I'm just that excited to finish. For the sake of not finishing the story too quickly for you guys, I'll be releasing the remaining (almost entirely finished) chapters on a weekly basis from now on. We don't want this fun adventure to end _too_ suddenly, do we now?**

* * *

_After the hell he went through when he was alive, Johnny Deepend felt as uneasy as ever when his feelings for that lanky hotel worker resurfaced in the form of Steward the bellhop. He had already made great friends with everyone in the hotel, and he didn't want to have them turn on him the same way everyone in the Seaside Kingdom did._

_It took all of his willpower, but he finally admitted his feelings for the bellhop. To his pleasant surprise, Steward said he had the exact same feelings for him too! Unlike Johnny, the bellhop had never felt like that before, and so didn't know how people like that used to be treated. He ended up outing the both of them to the rest of the hotel, which Johnny dreaded._

_Imagine how happy he was when the dread mounted to nothing. Every ghost living in that hotel accepted him, and even the grumpy Dr Potter hated everyone anyway regardless of orientation. Newlyweds Serpci and William especially showered them with buckets of praise and love. The two have been dating for a while now, and someday Johnny hopes to propose to his beloved boyfriend._


	31. Disco's Dead, Baby

**Author Notes - Time for that one floor that is criminally short! Granted, I get why. It's meant to be a little break before you embark to the final floor, but come on! Those gorgeous visuals and bopping music deserved more. Like the chapters in the Paranormal Productions (with the exception of the ending of 'The Creation Outlives its Creator'), this one is mostly light-hearted compared to the others.**

**Because this floor is so short, I'm gonna do something interesting. Like Amadeus, Ug, and Fishook before her - who were big bosses with small floors - Gloria is basically going to be a portrait-guarding ghost minus the portrait. You'll know what I mean when we get to the battle. After all, she's gonna take after her dad. To say the least, the fight won't resemble its game self so much compared to the others...**

**So, because of that, expect us to get right to the boss almost immediately. The fight with Gloria and her dancers is simple in practise but surprisingly complicated in theory, and if you decide that you _MIGHT_ add another round to an already two-round boss...**

**It's time to get down and boogie, as JoVay, MarioLover3752, and ultragreenyellow56 have joined the dance floor! (Or dropped some favourites/follows, same difference).**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - DISCO'S DEAD, BABY**

Luigi was excited to finally see his brother again. Polterpup was happy for him. Daisy was just relieved that the nightmare was almost over. Gooigi was just here for 'big bro'. Polterkitty, meanwhile, battled her greatest internal battle yet.

When the doors opened up, it was not exactly the expected outcome. Even though Daisy remembered the disco hall on the way up, it didn't make the arrival any less disorientating. Immediately, our heroes were greeted with blaring neon lights and catchy hip-hop beats coming from down the hall. Luigi squinted. The bright purple and green lights made his eyes hurt, and he could already feel the oncoming headache. The bopping beats did not help. Daisy, instead, tapped her foot to the beat.

'Noice.' She said. 'Whoever this Gloria chick is, she's got some talent.'

Luigi rubbed his eyes. 'Oh. I think I prefer Amadeus's works.'

'Eh. To each their own.'

Gooigi began to bubble and rumble. '_I like this music. But I don't think I can dance. I don't know how to do that yet._'

'**Well, what are we waiting for?**' Polterpup asked. '**This floor's the shortest yet, so let's get done with it!**'

They heeded his words and embarked through the odd yet awesome floor. It looked straight out of the 80's, thanks to its neon signs, rough brickwork resembling an alleyway, and an abundance of 'radical' graffiti. As the red ropes on stanchions lead them down the hall, Luigi took note of the painting depicting a group of Goobs wearing red hoodies while facing away from the 'camera'. It made him feel like he was about to jumped by a group of greasers.

'Oh my gosh.' Daisy said, chuckling. 'How 80's can you get? This décor is so outdated, I feel like I've stepped into a time warp.' She shuddered. 'That... that hasn't _actually_ happened, has it?'

'Daisy, that isn't fair.' Luigi said. 'For all you know, Gloria could've died in the 80's and wants to be reminded of her old life.'

'You are _so_ good at making me feel bad for these ghosts. I just thought you should know that.'

Luigi honestly dreaded encountering the Grand Ghost of this floor, not just because he worried she may have been the toughest of them all but mostly because he had captured all of her friends below her. He had no doubts that she wouldn't take that well. But it wasn't the only thing that tormented his mind. As they made their way up a series of stairs up to a bronze set of double doors, he couldn't help but remember his promise to Amadeus.

'Um, Daisy?' He asked. 'Should we really battle Gloria?'

'Why not?'

'I promised Mr Wolfgeist that I wouldn't hurt her. I don't wanna hurt his daughter.'

'Actually, if I recall correctly, you didn't promise to not hurt his daughter. You promised that you wouldn't let _Ms Gravely_ hurt her. So, I'm pretty sure that as long as you save her from Hellen, Amadeus won't care. Alternatively, we never said anything about _me_ not hurting her.'

'_I agree._' Gooigi said. '_I watched whole thing. Amadeus okay with it._'

That did little to calm Luigi's worries. As they approached the double-doors, the music abruptly stopped with a record scratch. It made Luigi jump and panic for a moment.

'Really?' Daisy remarked. 'It ended before we could get there?'

On the other side of the door was a seemingly empty dance floor. A disco ball with multiple coloured lights hung from the ceiling above the colourful disco floor, which stood on a platform a few feet off the foggy floor. Speakers lined the wall behind the dance floor, each lined with neon blue lights. A turntable stood right in the middle of them, decorated in the same coloured squares as the floor.

'Just when you think it can't possibly get any more 80's,' Daisy said. 'It finds a way.'

Stairs emerged from the edge of the platform, allowing easy access to the dance floor. The final elevator button rested in the middle of the floor, its yellow glow being the only thing to make it visible among the rainbow lights. It beckoned to be picked up.

'Oh no...' Luigi muttered. 'Not again. That has to be a trap.'

'Then I'm gonna go grab it!' Daisy said.

'Wait, no-!'

His warning fell on deaf ears as Daisy charged up the stairs and grabbed the button. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of that beautiful '15'. She glanced around, checking for any sort of ghosts. When nothing came out to attack her, she wiped her brow and sighed in relief.

'Alright, we're good!'

Luigi's feeling of dread skyrocketed, and it soon turned out that it was not unwarranted.

'YO! THE DJ IS UP THIS HOOD NOW, DAWG!'

The voice boomed through the speakers, shaking the stage lights above and hurting Luigi's ears. The soundwaves burst from the speakers and sent Daisy flying backwards.

'WAH!' She yelled.

She landed on the floor right next to Luigi, and muttered several expletives to herself. Luigi rushed to her side and helped her get back up.

'Daisy, Daisy!' He cried. 'Are you okay?'

'WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!' Daisy shouted.

Before Luigi could worry about his princess sustaining permanent hearing damage, a ghost emerged from behind the turntable, bopping her head and tail to the beat. The headphones around her neck and her pink dress were nothing compared to her massive red afro. She turned the vinyls and hummed along to her own music. The afro was big enough to cover up her eyes, so our heroes couldn't guess how she knew they were there.

'What's crack-a-lackin', my homies?' She greeted in some sort of incredibly-foreign language. 'I hope you are, like, totes ready for a poppin' fight!'

Luigi, Daisy, and Polterpup stared at her, and just blinked. It was all they could do with their brains on full focus trying to decipher that.

'Do you have any idea what she just said?' Daisy asked.

'I... have no idea.' Luigi said. 'Maybe they spoke like that in the era she lived in?'

The DJ ghost took no notice of their confusion, and giggled. 'This cool dawg is DJ Phantasmagloria! But you can, like, totes just call me Gloria. What brings you home boys here to ma rockin' crib?'

It took a few seconds for them to comprehend that particular question.

'OH!' Daisy said. 'You're asking why we're here. See, we're here for that elevator button of yours.'

Gloria shook her head with a punctual 'uh-uh'. 'No can do, home fries! My boss thinks that would totes be a major bummer. She'll, like, flip her wig over that! Do you see what I'm, like, sayin' dudes?'

'Uh... okay. What's stopping us from just swiping the button now?'

Gloria laughed. 'Cos we got a totes boppin' shindig about ta go down! Ya dig?'

The button began to seemingly float into the air to the tune of the music on its own, before a Goob emerged from thin air and revealed himself to be holding it. He wore a red hoodie just like those of the Goobs in the graffiti, and hoisted his hoodie over his eyes to shield them from the Strobulb.

'Sorry about her incomprehensive slang, guys.' The Goob said, tucking the button into his pocket. 'But she means it. And I'm not the only one here.'

Six other Goobs, wearing matching red hoodies, popped out of the floor and stood behind the first guy, bopping their heads to the beat of Gloria's jams. Weirdly enough, all their hoodies came with legs, despite the ghosts themselves lacking them. Daisy opened her mouth to comment on the set-up, before the Goobs all simultaneously performed a bizarre dance move. It involved one arm being bent across the chest and the other being fully extended outwards parallel to the first, with their faces being buried inside the bent elbow. Luigi thought it looked like some sort of overly-exaggerated sneeze, but found the pose familiar to him all the same.

Daisy groaned. 'Oh my god... they're freaking _dabbing_?'

'Um, what's dabbing?' Luigi asked.

'Just one of the most overused and outdated dance moves of today. I'm so glad you've never tried doing it.'

Luigi laughed nervously and blushed. Okay, it looked a lot lamer than he thought it did when he did it during that Rabbid infestation, and now knowing what it was called made him feel even dumber. The Goobs, after ending that particularly silly move, proceeded to continue with a surprisingly-well synchronised dance. The six in the back divided themselves into two groups of three, mimicking the moves of the other group but mirrored. The one at the front did his own thing that somewhat resembled the 'popping moves' of his backup guys.

The moves involved a lot of spinning, flipping, that odd 'dabbing' move some more... all quite spectacular considering their lack of legs. Then again, it was probably their lack of legs that made the dance moves so easy to begin with. They timed their moves to the music, making it all the more impressive. Gloria's music got a little faster and a whole lot louder.

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Okay, if you could just give us that button, we'll be...'

Then she noticed something very off. Why was she snapping her fingers to the beat of the tunes? Tried as she might, she couldn't stop her hand from snapping. It was like it had a mind of its own. She only got more worried when she looked down and saw her feet shuffling to the same beat.

'AH!' She yelped. 'W-Why am I dancing?!'

'Uh, D-Daisy?'

Luigi was no better. He had fallen victim to whatever the heck was going on too, and much to Daisy's envy his shuffling was much better than hers. There was only concern in his eyes - Daisy's was more a terrified/annoyed combo. Not even the Polterpets were spared. Polterpup hopped up and down on his hindlegs, while Polterkitty bopped her head like a happy bird while swaying her three tails to the rhythm.

'Someone mind telling me what the heck is going on?!' Daisy demanded, trying and failing to use her other hand to stop the snapping.

Gloria laughed. 'Take a chill pill, dudes. That's, like, how my bopping tunes work! I can, like, totes force my home fries to boogie down if I want to. Dig it?'

'I don't even know what the heck 'dig it' means, but the answer is no!'

The 'bopping' DJ didn't care about their less-than-enthusiastic responses, and certainly not the death glare Polterpup was giving her. The Goobs danced on like nothing had even happened, giggling like schoolchildren at the poor mortals being forced to dance against their will.

'Oh my god...' Daisy said, anger dripping from her words. 'I wanted to go dancing with my sweetie, but definitely not like _this_!'

'Sucks to be you now, doesn't it!' The Goob at front said, snickering.

Just about the only thing that didn't suck about this situation was the music. It, as Gloria herself would probably say, really 'bopped, homie'. It was like some sort of catchy hip-hop remix of the VB ringtone. That didn't really mean much when said 'bopping tune' was causing them to dance out of their control.

'Kitty, be honest with me.' Daisy said. 'Is this one of those 'dance until you literally drop dead' kind of deals?'

The Panthergeist responded with a nervous grin, which definitely answered Daisy's question. Not that it made her any happier about it.

'Lemme give you the deal here, dudes!' Gloria said, playing her music loud enough to worsen Luigi's headache. 'You'll be dancin' to ma popping beats forever until you dawgs prove yourselves to be better dancers than ma posse!'

Daisy groaned. 'Really? What kinda win condition is _that_?'

'The most tubular kind, dudes!'

Our heroes watched the dancing Goobs showing off their skills, caring none for the laws of gravity. Whether it was the moonwalk, or the worm, or even krumping, they nailed every move and abused the fact they had no real legs to hold them down. The one at the front seemed especially intent on showing off.

'Luigi, can I be honest with you?' Daisy asked. 'I have no idea how to dance. Like, I can showboat, but that's it. Other than that, I dance like a drunk sailor. Please tell me you're secretly a master dancer.'

Luigi narrowed his eyes at the showboating Goobs. Their dancing taunted him, like a school bully beckoning for some sort of retaliation. And, as much as he didn't want to, he was taking the bait. With the stink eye of a shooter in an old western film, he slid the Poltergust off his back and handed it to Daisy.

'Sweetie, what are you doing?' Daisy asked, rather apprehensive.

'If they want a dance-off,' He said with complete seriousness. 'Then I'm gonna give them one.'

Still shuffling his feet and snapping his fingers, he walked up the stairs and arrived on the dance floor. All the Goobs stopped their moves and turned to him, keeping their eyes hidden from his confounded Strobulb. The music came to a stop, further emphasising his arrival. The forced dancing affecting our heroes stopped as well, much to Daisy's relief.

'I'm here to challenge you.' Luigi said, staring all the ghosts down.

The front Goob laughed. 'Really? You? You're so clumsy you trip over blades of grass. What chance do you have at beating us and our awesome dance moves?'

'You'd be surprised.' He glanced back at Gloria. 'DJ, hit it.'

Gloria shrugged, and played some more music. This was a different tune that didn't affect Luigi with its forced-shuffling capabilities, but still had a catchy beat to it nonetheless. Luigi tapped his foot against the floor to the tune. Meanwhile, the rest of his little group returned to the forced-dancing.

'DAMNIT!' Daisy yelled.

'Didn't you guys see me when I won those gold medals at the Olympics?' Luigi asked. 'Surely you heard that I got the world record in high jump. I have quite the victory dance.'

The front Goob scoffed. 'I'd like ta see you try!'

Daisy buried her face in her hands and groaned. As much as she adored everything about that man, she did not want to see a guy as clumsy as him trying to prove something on the dance floor.

'Alright.' Luigi said. 'You asked for it.'

He got on the floor, and did the one dance move that he knew he could do - breakdancing. And my sweet Luvbi, did he breakdance. He spun his entire body around on just one hand, constantly switching between the left and the right as he spun around like a vinyl on high speed. The Goobs' jaws - and Daisy's jaw too - fell so far they nearly broke. Luigi kept the flawless breakdancing up long enough to convince the whole lot of them that he was not a human but instead some sort of dancing machine.

'You... you can _do_ that?!' Daisy exclaimed, like she had never seen his victory dance at the Olympics.

Just to further show off his skills, he moved from spinning around on the floor to twirling about on a one-handed handstand in one quick movement that was smoother than melted butter, so quickly that a single blink was all that was needed to miss it. Despite the dizziness taking over his mind, he kept on spinning until he knew that he had it in the bag. When he thought he did it long enough, he sprung off the floor and landed on his feet with the precision of a cat.

'Your move, ghosties.' He said.

The Goobs - and Daisy - stared at him, totally stunned. The music had come to an abrupt stop too. The Goob out in front regained his composure and laughed.

'So?' He asked. 'We can do that and more!'

'Yeah, but can you do it with _these_?' Luigi asked, pointing at his legs.

The crowd stared at him in silence. The front Goob in particular stammered out something incoherent, before he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He turned to his posse for their support, but they didn't seem to be in the mood to give him any.

'Um, he's got a point there.' One of the Goobs in the back said.

'SHUT UP, STEVE!' He sighed. 'Fine! I'd hate to admit it, but doing something like that with _legs_? Oh, heck no! We admit defeat...'

Daisy stepped onto the floor and grinned. 'Now give us that button.'

The Goob shrugged. 'Sorry missy, but I'm afraid that isn't possible. You just won the first phase.'

Daisy's eye twitched. The Goobs vanished into thin air, throwing the button between themselves before tossing it towards their 'boss'. Gloria grabbed onto the button as it soared past her, and stuffed it into a pocket. The princess wanted to ask how dangerous a DJ could possibly be, but experience told her she could be dangerous in about fifty different ways.

In a move that seemed impossible, Gloria lifted her afro up from her eyes, revealing them for the world to see. She winked at out heroes with a cheeky smile.

'Now you're some really rockin' dudes!' She yelled. 'You are, like, totes boppin' to the-!'

It was then that she finally got a good look at Luigi and Daisy, and only now did she recognise them. Her expression of blissful excitement twisted into blind fury.

'Wait a minute... you dawgs ain't some ghostly home fries. You're those totes grody mortals who hurt my Daddy-O!'

Daisy did a double-take. 'You... you didn't know that until now?'

'That's totes uncool! What did my Daddy-O do to you?'

It didn't take Luigi long to realise that she was talking about Amadeus Wolfgeist, clearly just as protective over him as he was over her. Like the pianist before her, her aura shifted from a soft orange to an intense red. She slammed her fists into her turntable, sending the vinyls on it flying.

'Your grody abuse of ma Daddy-O is totes wack!' She yelled. 'I'm gonna, like, learn you lesson for messin' with ma home skillets!'

'Awesome.' Daisy said. 'Now in English.'

'I need to tell the professor to give the translator an extra language...' Luigi murmured.

Just like her father down on floor four, Gloria did not settle with fighting our heroes head on. She followed in her father's footsteps, and jumped into her instrument. This time, it was her turntable.

Polterkitty's eyes widened. '**Oh no...**'

'Do I want to know?' Luigi asked.

'**I've never seen her do this before.**' Polterkitty explained. '**She usually just jumps on the dance floor and takes mortals out directly.**'

'Oh no... then she must be _really_ mad at us...'

A red aura exuded from not just the turntable but the speakers too. The voice coils of half of the speakers moved to the sides of the diaphragms and 'stared' directly at our heroes like they were eyes, glowing red like ghostly eyes too.

'Oh god!' Daisy yelped.

That was not the end of it, because why would it be? The other half of the speakers sprouted what appeared to be plastic teeth and roared like a massive beast. Instead of an animalistic roar, the sound that came out was a disjointed mess of notes vaguely resembling disco music. It was so ear-drum-shatteringly loud that both Luigi and Daisy had to cover their ears, and it still wasn't sufficient in blocking out most of the sound. Polterpup and Polterkitty wanted to disappear to the Moon Kingdom until this fight was over, but stayed with the green man.

'I think 'really mad' is an understatement!' Daisy cried.

The two vinyls moved themselves back into place on the turntable, and stood on their sides to resemble eyes. Like the bins that had been possessed by pink spirit balls, the 'lid' of the turntable opened and revealed more teeth. It looked just like the piano beast after Amadeus possessed his instrument, but with a disco twist. And yes, that is a sentence I just had to narrate.

'You think you can just chill in ma crib after you messed with ma Daddy-O?' Gloria's voice boomed from the speakers. 'Get bent!'

She opened her 'mouth' and, like her father, spewed out objects from her throat. Instead of lit bombs, however, rapidly spinning vinyls came out instead. They spun around with the speed of a buzz saw. They flew across the room, aiming for the heads of the mortals.

'AHHH!' They screamed at once.

They ducked out of the way just in time, emphasis on 'just'. Daisy saw, to her horror, strands of her hair falling to the floor. Luigi noticed that one of the curls in the back of her hair was now missing, or more correctly on the ground. Polterpup chuckled at her, but stopped when Luigi glared at him.

'Not to be one of those stereotypical women who freak out when they chip a nail or whatever,' Daisy said. 'But I'm _really_ pissed off now!'

'I think you look great anyway.' Luigi said, genuinely.

'Of course _you_ would.'

Polterkitty cringed. Knowing Gloria as well as she did, she had a feeling that cutting Daisy's hair like that was not entirely an accident. The DJ did not settle with merely cutting hair, and fired her vinyls off again. Luigi and Daisy jumped out of the way, and Luigi nearly had a heart attack when one of them passed by his face and missed his eyes by just an inch. Gloria fired off another round, intent of causing at least a scratch.

Polterkitty got between the turntable and the mortals, and slashed the vinyls to pieces. What remained of them was nothing but dust which made the Panthergeist sneeze quite heartily.

'Whatcha doin', Cool Cat?' Gloria demanded. 'You think you can go over to the flip side like that?'

'ROWWARR!'

Daisy groaned. 'We're not gonna get anywhere if we just sit here and dodge her attacks all night. We gotta make a move!' She crackled her knuckles. 'I'm going in.'

She took one step forward, but Gloria had other plans. She spewed out more vinyls, but these were not used as buzz saws. The spinning records of death created a wall between Daisy and the turntable, and spun around so fast they began to catch on fire. The princess gulped, and tried to calculate the chances of her making the jump over. She decided it was not worth the risk.

'H-How do we force her out?!' Luigi asked. 'With Amadeus, he threw bombs at us. What are we supposed to do with spinning records?!'

'We destroy them, that's what!' Daisy yelled. 'Scatter these dang things with a burst!'

Luigi obeyed her order, ran to her side, and activated a burst. The surge of air threw the vinyls into the air and back into the floor, where they exploded into shards and burning dust. The dust scattered throughout the air.

'Now we can actually-!' Daisy tried to say, only to be interrupted by a sneezing fit.

The dust in the air was worst than anything that either mortal had encountered before. It sent them both into a fit of sneezing, so intense they could barely even stand up, and made their eyes water so badly that they could barely see anything. The ghostly animals didn't fare any better. Luigi and his animal friends ran out of the dust cloud, but Daisy tried her hardest to stand her ground.

'W-What the heck is... i... _ah... AAH-**CHOOO!**_ ... is this stuff?!' She asked, wiping her watery eyes.

She gave up on trying brave the dust, and joined her teammates on the foggy floor instead. The Polterpets dealt with it just fine, but Luigi was still sneezing into his elbow. And quite violently too.

'Wonderful. Just wonderful.' Daisy said with the most sarcasm that night. 'It's either get our limbs cut off or sneeze ourselves to death. What the heck are we supposed to be able to do?!'

Luigi finally got a moment to breath. 'We can't take her on if we're sneezing so much, but I don't think we can do anything otherwise.'

'That weird dust makes my eyes water like crazy! It's damn near impossible to see anything, and for all we know there could be a vinyl waiting to cut our heads off! Do you think the diplomatic route could work?'

He whimpered. 'It didn't work so well for Amadeus when he was really angry until we disarmed him. If Gloria is nearly as angry as he was, I don't think I'll be able to get to her.'

Gloria, not one to back down, launched more vinyls that flew out of the dust cloud. Luigi and Daisy had just enough time to avoid them, and as they soared over their heads they cut right through the wall and disappeared. The speakers unleashed another deafening cry of anger, this one loud enough to get Luigi to cry out in pain.

Daisy grinded her teeth. 'Okay, now she's REALLY starting to piss me off! First she makes my Luigi sneeze up a storm, and now she's trying to deafen him. I'm not gonna stand for it!'

'But how are we going to stop her?' Luigi asked. 'We don't have any bombs to deflect back at her, and the records are too dangerous to even touch! I... I don't think we have anything to use against her!'

Luigi's breathing got tense and heavy, enough to make himself feel light-headed. He knew this feeling all too well - any second now, he could have another meltdown just like the one he had in the museum. He backed away, not wanting to get Daisy caught up in this one. The princess didn't know whether to approach him and calm him down or leave him alone.

'_Big bro still has me._' Gooigi said.

The voice of his gooey counterpart distracted Luigi from the torment at hand for a moment.

'Gooigi...' He murmured. 'Gooigi! Daisy, I have an idea!'

'I'm all ears to hear it, sweetie!'

While Luigi and Daisy had their little discussion, Polterpup and Polterkitty worked together to keep the dangerous records away from their mortal friends. Polterkitty cringed as one sliced into her chest - it left no mark on her ghostly skin, but it still hurt nonetheless.

'I think I know what we can do!' Luigi declared. 'We won't be able to get to Gloria without sneezing to death or getting cut to ribbons, but I think that Gooigi can! The saws might just pass through his body harmlessly, and I don't think that the dust will make him sneeze either.'

Daisy smiled. 'Oh my god, that's a brilliant plan! That's why you're our idea guy. But what is he gonna do by the time he gets to her?'

Luigi did not have an answer to that, but fortunately Gooigi did.

'_Big bro remember when big bro used me to jam dinosaur's jaws? Do the same with Gloria! I jam her jaws, so she can't shoot records anymore._'

Luigi gasped, and grinned. 'That's a great idea!' He paused. 'Are you okay with doing that?'

'_Was okay with it when I did it to dinosaur. I will always be okay to do it, just for big bro. It doesn't hurt me at all. I don't feel pain that much. I can do it. For big bro._'

The plumber inhaled slowly. 'Okay. If you want to do it, do it.'

Gooigi deployed himself, snapping his fingers to the music even though he wasn't being compelled to. With the Polterpets still guarding the mortals from the vinyls, Gooigi walked up the steps between them and onto the dance floor. Oh, how that gooey man loved music - it was one of the first audio stimuli he had ever got to experience, after all. The speaker-eyes stared at him alone.

'Who's this grody dude?' Gloria asked. 'He can, like, totes gag me with a spoon.'

She fired just one vinyl aimed for his neck. He continued walking forward like it wasn't there at all, even when it cut his neck and his head fell to the floor. Luigi and Daisy gasped in horror, but Gooigi kept on chugging. In seconds, his decapitated head dissolved into a puddle of goop and reformed drop by drop on his neck. The possessed turntable gasped, and realised in horror that she had no water nearby.

Still refusing to give up, she returned to creating a wall of spinning death between her and the gooey man. Though Gooigi did not feel like getting turned into a green slimy milkshake, he wouldn't stop moving. He dislodged the records into the air using his own bursting Poltergoo, and much to Gloria's terror the resulting dust clouds didn't affect him at all. He didn't even need to see through it when he could see her ghostly aura clear as day.

'How are you, like, doing that?!' Gloria demanded. 'That's, like, totes not cool dude!'

She spat out the vinyls in a rapid-fire manner. One shot from her 'mouth' every second, but none could stop Gooigi. They sliced off a hand, a leg, his head again, even the Poltergoo itself, but he acted like they didn't even exist.

Gloria growled. 'That's, like, totes not tubular! You're, like, ruinin' my groove. If I can't, like, cut you to pieces, I'll just _chomp_ ya to pieces instead!'

If Gooigi had a mouth, he would've smiled. The turntable opened her 'jaws' up wide, and Gooigi gladly tossed himself inside. Luigi cringed as he was reduced to a pile of goop, regardless of his constant reassuring words. Gloria chomped him into mush, and only then did she realise what a bad idea that was.

'Oh...'

Though she could still speak thanks to talking through the speakers instead of her 'mouth', with the goop shutting her 'mouth' shut she couldn't fire out any more spinning projectiles. Seeing that Daisy was approaching her all the same, she screamed out in rage through her speakers. Daisy stood her ground, even though the soundwaves were as powerful as a gale.

'GLORIA!' She shouted over the disjointed music. 'If you don't get out here right now, I'm gonna hafta smash your turntable to smithereens!'

'Didn't ya hear me, sucker? You hurt ma Daddy-O!'

The sound of whimpering managed to hit Daisy's ears. She turned her head and saw Luigi leaning up against the wall, clamping his hands over his ears as tight as he could. Polterpup and Polterkitty yowled, which didn't help him at all.

'Okay, that's it...' The princess muttered.

The lights on her Phantasma-Gloves glowed just as bright as they did during the fight with the faux king, and she pushed against the mighty soundwaves. She could hear Gloria's voice growing hoarse, but the DJ did not stop screaming. Daisy cared none for it, and kept on walking.

'GET OUT OF MA PAD, YA FLOOZY!'

Daisy had no idea what 'floozy' could've possibly meant, but she knew it wasn't a compliment. She didn't stop until she got within arm's reach of the turntable. Once there, she picked up the two vinyls on it and smashed them to pieces in her hands. The screaming from the speakers stopped, replaced with a tearful gasp. Daisy truly did not want to ruin something that Gloria was clearly so passionate about, but if this 'vacation' had taught her anything it was that feelings didn't mean anything in a battle.

So, she lifted up her fists and slammed them into the turntable with a mighty yell.

'NO!' Gloria yelled.

With how powered-up the gloves were, the turntable was reduced to nothing but a pile of dust on the floor the moment Daisy bashed it. The pieces scattered everywhere as plastic and glass shards went flying. One of the shards sliced Daisy's forehead as it flew up, but she was too hyped on adrenaline to notice. Once the dust settled, all that remained of the possessed turntable was the shattered debris and a dazzled DJ ghost in the middle of it, allowing Gooigi to return home.

Daisy was about ready to punch the ghost herself, but Gloria was never one to lay down for more than a few seconds. She got to her 'feet' like nothing had ever happened, and pulled two vinyls out of her wig and held them like ninja stars. The princess jumped back and swore to herself - of course the battle wasn't over yet.

Gloria gritted her teeth, and hid her eyes behind her afro. 'You dudes think you can just, like, mosey on into ma crib? You're totes worse than the fuzz! You're really crusin' for a bruisin' now!'

Daisy jumped away, knowing full well that this could only spell trouble. Gloria held onto her last two records and spun around like a toy top, putting Chef Soulfflé's spinning back in the restaurant to shame. The edges of her vinyls glowed red hot, so much so that tiny embers and smoke emitted from them. Daisy gave her a nervous smile and immediately turned around to run away.

Luigi, on the other hand, was sick of having to sit out of this battle and rejoined his princess on the battlefield. Before he could regret his decision - which he was doing very quickly as those red-hot vinyls got very close to his eyes - Polterpup hopped onto the stage and stopped her spinning by just grabbing onto one of the vinyls.

Gloria did not approve. 'Let go of that, ya mutt!'

Polterpup yanked on the record and growled like a guard dog defending his territory. Gloria snarled at him, and simply let go of the vinyl for him. He went flying backwards until he crashed into one of the seats.

'Boy!' Luigi cried.

'Alright honey,' Daisy said, putting her hands on her hips. 'Give us that final button and we'll leave!'

'No way José!' The disc jockey yelled. 'Not after you totes wrecked ma rockin' turntable and hurt ma Daddy-O. I'm not letting a coupla squares like you defeat me, especially when I'm, like, the last home fry left!'

With just one vinyl to work with, she wound it up and aimed directly for Daisy's neck. After all, she only needed to bring _Luigi_ back alive. The orange chick could burn in hell for all she cared. Daisy yelped, and held up her hands in defence. The edges of the vinyl harmlessly clanked against the Phantasma-Gloves, so now Gloria aimed for her legs instead. Luigi reacted fast, and activate a burst right at the ghost's 'feet'.

What happened next was not quite what any hero was expecting, with the exception of Polterkitty.

'AH!' Gloria shrieked.

Her massive afro fell to the floor.

'That... that was a **wig**?!' Daisy exclaimed.

Gloria's hands shot for her head. With her gigantic wig gone, it revealed her real hair beneath it. It was nothing like the impressive afro; not even close. All that remained on her head was very, _very_ short brown hair. It wasn't even on the level of a buzzcut, and compared to her wig on the floor it seemed even shorter.

'No...' Gloria muttered. 'No no NO!'

In that moment, the confident DJ Phantasmagloria forgot about the battle with the mortals all together. She covered her short hair in shame, not even looking our heroes in the eye. Polterkitty felt sorry for the poor thing.

'Y-You weren't supposed to see that!' She pleaded. 'My real hair is totes grody!'

Luigi and Daisy stepped back. With how much she was driven to cut them to ribbons, this sudden attitude change seemed all the more jarring. Polterpup pitied her too much to laugh about it.

'What is _up_ with her?' Daisy asked.

Polterkitty sauntered onto the dance floor, quietly as to not disturb the distressed DJ. 'Mro-ooo-oow.'

Luigi gasped. 'Oh! Polterkitty says that's as long as her hair ever grew when she was alive, cos of a condition of some kind. She buys those wigs to cover it up.'

'Oh, what?!'

Daisy put everything aside for just a moment, and looked upon the crying ghost. It made her shudder - it was like looking into a mirror, and she hated it. Judging by Luigi's eyes, he felt just the same.

'What are you talking about, Gloria?' Luigi asked. 'Your hair looks just fine. It's okay to prefer wearing a wig, but you shouldn't feel ashamed of your real hair.'

The distressed disc jockey began to weep. 'O-Oh, my foozy of a boss was totes right. I'm, like, pathetic to the max.'

'What?! No you're not. You nearly killed the both of us! What are you saying?'

Gloria sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'S-She only gave me this final button because she thought you would defeat me easily. After what you did to my Daddy-O, I wanted to prove her wrong. Now I-I can't even... even...' She wailed. 'I just can't even!'

Luigi knelt down to her level and put his hand on her shoulder. To his surprise, his hand did not pass through her skin. She flinched, but otherwise did not react.

'I-I just wanna see my Daddy-O again...' She growled. 'If my Daddy-O was here, he'd give you both a knuckle sandwich.'

'Oh, trust me.' Daisy said. 'He nearly did. He almost killed us! And _maybe_ gave me post-piano-stress disorder.'

'Post-piano-_what_?'

'The point is, we've dealt with your father. And he was absurdly powerful. He nearly killed us both, and only because your boss claimed that we hurt you somehow.'

The mention of her father made her gasp. Thinking about her boss, she forgot about her sadness and returned to being angry. She did not direct her anger at our heroes this time, however.

'That wench! It's totes **her** fault! How could she, like, tell my Daddy-O that you hurt me? She knows how much that, like, terrifies him!'

She thought back on the day that she first met Amadeus Wolfgeist. She had thought she had been released from the hospital, but she soon found out the hard way that she had succumbed to her illness. If only she knew that her bed-hopping habits could hurt her so much... but when that old pianist saw her all alone, her afterlife had no doubt changed for the better.

'Grrr... if that wench thinks she can mess with _my_ dad, she's gonna totes be proven wrong!' She turned to our heroes. 'If you dudes can remove her from our crib, I'll consider you a coupla homies. Think you can, like, do that?'

'That's been our goal, Gloria.' Luigi said. 'After she took my brother away from me, Daisy and I have promised to take her down. Not just for ourselves, but for you and your friends too.'

'Wait... does that, like, mean you didn't wanna hurt us?'

'I never wanted to hurt you, but your boss has forced me too. If you accept, we can send you back into the vault without hurting you anymore. We just need that button before you go.'

That seemed to brighten her spirit, pun not intended. She yanked out that fifteenth button and tossed it at our heroes. Daisy caught it after fumbling for a bit. Gloria picked up the nozzle of the Poltergust, and aimed it at her face.

'So, how do you, like, work this thingy?' She asked.

She pressed one of the buttons at random, which so happened to be the suction button. In other words, she accidentally captured herself, to which our heroes did not complain. After all, that made things much easier.

'_I kinda liked her._' Gooigi said. '_Seemed nice._'

Luigi and Daisy stared at the button in the latter's hands. It seemed like a dream that they would soon wake up from. The final button was right there, in their grasp. They couldn't believe that this nightmare only had one more floor to go.

Daisy gulped. 'You ready, Sweetie?'

Luigi shook his head. 'We should definitely have another rest first. Lord knows what the heck we're gonna encounter.'

'I second that.' She sighed, a little joyously. 'But you know what? I'm kinda happy. While all the Goobs and stuff are still unaccounted for, I think we're saved all these Grand Ghosts. We're freed them, Luigi. How does that make you feel?'

Luigi smiled. That was all the answer she needed. The quintet - we're counting Gooigi now - headed back for the elevator. Most of them were relieved at the mere thought of ending this nightmare, but Polterkitty was not so excited to return to the penthouse.

In fact, she dreaded it.

* * *

Amadeus waited by the vault entry, ignoring the rest of the world around him. Johnny was ecstatic to be reunited with his boyfriend, and Amadeus was very happy for him, but the old pianist had a very special someone he was waiting for.

'Come on...' He muttered. 'Beeile dich, Luigi! Sag mir von Gloria ist okay!'

Everyone else was with their loved ones, and Amadeus couldn't be more proud of everyone reuniting again. The Hayseed twins were already up to playing tricks with the Twisted Sisters on Chambrea, who had threatened to kill them not just a second time but a _third_ as well.

'GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!' Chambrea screamed at Ginny, who just got done with painting her face rainbow.

'You'll have ta make me, ya bloody w-'

'Call me a 'wanker' one more time, and I will rip you to shreds!'

Clem chuckled. 'Like y'all would ever hurt a child!' He paused. 'Ackshully... Ah think ya would.'

William and Serpci continued spouting their sickeningly sweet similes at each other, to which Johnny and Steward could both agree was far too much.

Johnny rolled his eyes at the sweetheart couple. 'Can you imagine if _we_ talked to each other like that, dude? That would be totally obnoxious.'

Steward chucked. 'Oh, my lovey-dovey-wovey honey!'

Johnny gave him a playful shove. 'Stewy!'

Fishook, meanwhile, had joined Chambrea in her bashing-of-the-wall. He didn't think it would actually get him out, but he found slashing his hook against the wall to be quite fun. His ghostly animal crew had joined him in their special chamber, and were enjoying themselves following his lead.

'Amadeus worried, Ug see.' Ug said as he joined his best friend's side. 'Ug understand worry. Amadeus love daughter very much.'

Amadeus sighed. 'Please Ug, you don't need to do the simplistic speech around me. I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that anymore. I mean, if you want to, that is fine.'

'I do apologise, my musical chap.' Ug spoke in his true speech. 'It's a habit of mine, you see. I just like to make sure that other ghosts and the like get my point as quickly as possible. I do often forget that you do not need that.'

'Yes, that is just fine, my dear friend. I'm just waiting for my sweet Gloria, but I'm sure you already know that.'

Ug's attention drifted to the maid ghost. When she wasn't making Lindsey cry and being apathetic about it, she continued to insult the green-clad man like it was still just a few minutes since he 'stole' 'her' briefcase.

'Is Chambrea still under Hellen Gravely's mind control?' Ug asked. 'I do believe that the ghost-proof walling of both inside and outside this vault not only keeps us in, but keeps Ms Gravely's mind tricks out.'

'If you want me to be honest,' Amadeus replied. 'I don't think she was _ever_ under Ms Gravely's control to begin with. Our boss barely remembers that our maid friend even exists anymore. I'm certain that Chambrea was just being her usual overly-aggressive self.'

'Ah. Of course. Many mortal lives were lost thanks to her alone. You'd think our boss would give her recognition for that. Or at least money. Yet, she most likely doesn't pay her on purpose.'

It seemed like hours had passed since that conversation, when in reality it was just a few seconds, until the final ghost dropped into the vault. Amadeus recognised her before she even stopped tumbling.

'Gloria!' He cried. 'My precious Gloria!'

He rushed into an embrace, holding her as close as he could manage, like he could lose her again at any moment. It took her by surprise, but she quickly returned the hug.

'I was so worried...' He said. 'After Johnny told us that Hellen was starting to get rid of us one by one, I... I worried that she may have gotten you.' Tears flowed from his eyes, and he made no effort to hide it. 'I've lost so many children, Gloria. I-I did not want you to be another one.'

Gloria giggled. 'Don't worry, Daddy-O! That ol' floozy'll never keep me down.'

'Luigi did not hurt you at all, did he? More than was necessary, at least?'

'Nope! That rockin' green cat was totes cool! Even when it came to my... grody hair.'

Amadeus hadn't even noticed that her wig was missing, but he did not care. The other ghosts left the two alone, congregating in another part of the massive room away from them. After all, Amadeus needed time to let it sink in that his precious daughter had been returned to him. Except for Chambrea - she would never stop trying to bash her way out. Fishook's crew stayed behind with her, just for the fun of it.

'What do we do now?' Kruller asked. 'Wit' da green bud climbin' up to our boss's office, what can we do?'

'Yeah!' Steward said. 'I'm sick of just sitting here and fighting among ourselves. We gotta do something!'

They all turned to Serpci, their obligatory leader. The pharaoh ghost flinched, and cleared her throat.

'I am sorry, my friends.' She said. 'But I do not know what we can possibly do now.'

'Ghosts locked inside vault.' Ug explained. 'Maybe tell Green Man to free us, but Ug don't think Green Man will listen.'

'Fair dinkum, mate?' Fishook remarked. 'You seriously think Green Man wouldn't free us? I'm more concerned about the orange sheila and that professor guy. I doubt they'll just let us out.'

'So we just have to sit here while that green kid gets himself killed?' Ginny asked. 'You bloody kidding?! I don't care what that smart-ass wanker says - I'm gonna demand he frees us!'

Chef Gordon sighed. 'You idiots... do you not see zat we are safer in here? We could become victims to Ms Gravely's mind control if we are freed.'

Lindsey gasped. 'We can't have that! I don't want you guys to hurt him... I don't want ME to hurt him!'

The ghostly crowd fell into silence. They wanted to ask their pianist friend what he recommended, but they did not want to interrupt his sweet bonding time with his daughter. They seemed too calm and joyful to talk to at the moment.

Dr Potter groaned. 'I don't know why the lot 'o yeh are even tryin'. We're not gittin' out of this blasted jail, and yeh just gotta deal with it!'

'I art not willingeth to siteth 'ere and leteth the green warrior and his maiden die!' William MacFrights cried. 'As a king, I musteth not leteth me friends geteth themselves killedeth! T'is not right.'

'This is totally bogus, dudes.' Johnny said, sighing. 'It's either chill in here and do nothing, or allow ourselves to get our minds totally messed with. It's lose-lose.'

While most of the ghosts wondered what the heck they could possibly do, Ug found himself looking over at Chambrea. She had thoroughly bruised her whole body at this point, but was refusing to give up. It didn't surprise anyone, but Ug began to wonder if maybe - just _maybe_ \- she was on the right track.

* * *

_**DJ PHANTASMAGLORIA, THE EXCITABLE DISCO STAR**_

_AGE - 18_

_GENDER - Female_

_CAUSE OF DEATH - An unknown illness_

_Gloria was quite the popular DJ back in the 80's, until a mysterious illness did her in. Her mind has been stuck in the 80's ever since, hence her occasional use of incomprehensible slang. Compared to the others, she hasn't been a ghost for very long. In fact, she might not entirely realise she is a ghost..._

* * *

**Author Notes - Oh my god, Gloria's dialogue hurts my brain. With her, I was trying to parody the overuse of slang to look cool by making her dialogue over-the-top insane and outdated. It's meant to reflect the fact that she died so recently compared to the other ghosts that her mind is still stuck in the 80's. So if you think the slang is painfully outdated, that's the joke.**

**Oh, and Gloria's time of death and the whole 'unknown illness' thing is, uh... look, I don't shy away from reality.**

**Also, I'm starting to think I might have hypergraphia, which is more-or-less a very intense urge to write or draw. Or it could just be a side-effect of my hyperlexia. Both are possibilities.**

* * *

_Gloria Glitter Glamour (yes, that's her full name) raised concerns with her parents when her hair didn't seem to grow. Turns out she was physically incapable of growing it out anymore, and her body hair didn't grow at all. Her self-esteem went out the window, so she bought a few dozen afro wigs to cover up what she believed to be an awful deformity._

_Gloria, being DJ Phantasmagloria, didn't let it stop her from partying down. Her popularity got her, um, lots of bed time with various men. Then panic about a new disease went viral... at the same time Gloria herself was diagnosed with it. It killed her immune system, and thanks to the overwhelming panic surrounding the illness at the time no one came to visit her except her grief-stricken parents._

_Thank Jaydes that her 'Daddy-O' met her not long after her departure from her body. If it wasn't for him, she'd still be horrified and confused today. The triplets, Ginny especially, envy her for this._


	32. Going to Hell'n Back

**Author Notes - I would love to have a deep speech about how 'this is it' and how 'we've approached the final floor', but anyone who's beaten the game can tell you that this is not the final floor. BUT WHO CARES! Here comes the Master Suite! I was TRYING to get this floor done in two chapters, but they both ended up stupidly long, SO I GUESS WE'RE NOT GOING THAT!**

**Like always, the puzzles may be condensed, heavily changed, or even removed. Because the way I write makes writing these puzzles more tedious than fun. If you've gotten up to this point, I don't think you actually care. If you do care for whatever reason, check out TGN's '_Hotel Horror_'. He's been doing a much better job at retaining all of the puzzle stuff than me.**

**Just in general, his version has been much more game-accurate, albeit still taking plenty of liberties. His has been the version to read if you wanted something game-accurate, whereas mine is if you want something more different. Both options are perfectly fine by the way.**

**HOLY S* AM I EXCITED TO GET THIS ONE FINISHED! Anyway, to the story. _*uncontrollable excited squealing*_**

**This may be the final stretch, but still I must acknowledge Oderus and laithum for their favourites/follows. Even if it takes them a while to receive said thanks because they probably won't get up to this chapter for a while because I really didn't think this through.**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO - GOING TO HELL'N BACK**

_Charles, close the vault... Sam, shut your mouth... Charles, don't look at me like that... Sam, go retrieve that Trapper down in the Paranormal Productions..._

Since the very beginning of this whole mess, Charles and Sam had been loyal to their boss. After all, she never treated them too poorly like she did to the others. To quote Sam herself, 'that, honey, was the power of nepotism'. Sure, painting X's on photos wasn't the most grand job in the world, and Charles made his distain for it clear, but Sam much preferred it to being put into the path of danger like the others.

Or, at least, she did. Now that the two were being used as meatshields in front of the King Boo-shaped vault lock, they had given up.

'You know the saying, Charles?' Sam asked. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend? Look, we may hate that green kid for capturing our friends as much as the next ghost, but compared to our boss? He is nothing.'

'I see what you mean.' Charles said. 'May I add that one should always choose the lesser of two evils? Sure, Luigi's incarcerated all of our friends and maybe has even catnapped Ms Gravely's pet, but at least he isn't torturing someone's child in some messed up game of blackmail.'

'When the fight inevitably comes along, I'm letting that kid capture me in seconds. I don't care where I end up. Just as long as he saves my sweet little Louie, he can do whatever he wants to me.'

Charles looked at her in disbelief. He scoffed, and just figured it was another one of her silly ideas. He wanted to agree with her, and perhaps he had in the past, but he couldn't see it working out anymore. Despite what he thought of his wife, Sam picked up on his apprehension. She puffed out her chest, and began to float away.

'Samantha...' Charles said, quietly. 'Where are you going?'

'Off to do something very important... getting those mortals here as soon as possible.'

* * *

Most elevator rides up, Luigi was noticeably perturbed and frightened, very obviously not wanting to go but doing it anyway for his big brother. When going up to the fifteen floor, however? He had never looked so _furious_. The rage in his eyes disturbed Daisy and Polterpup, but Polterkitty couldn't blame him for it at all. He didn't even say anything, aside from cursing Hellen Gravely under his breath. His silence worried Daisy, but she said nothing.

From the basement all the way to the top floor, the ride was incredibly long. For Luigi, it felt like an eternity. All he wanted to do was teach that Ms Gravely a lesson or three. For Polterkitty, the ride was even longer. No one had asked her about it, and she was grateful for it. What would she even say? She dreaded to even see Master's face again.

After forever, the elevator finally dinged and opened. Without another word, Luigi stepped out of the cart and looked around. He saw no ghost, but found himself marvelling at the sight. Even if it was just a lobby, it screamed 'I am rich as hell'. Polished marble walls and floor, a gorgeous set of comfy couches in the middle, many vases lining the walls, even a real dead tree planted in a small field of sand... Ms Gravely clearly wanted to show off. Even the elevator cage was made of bars coated with what appeared to be gold. The golden King Boo patterning on the floor did not deter Luigi in the slightest.

'Whoa.' Daisy said as she left the elevator. 'Wow...'

Polterpup snorted. '**Trying too hard.**'

'_Nice._' Gooigi murmured.

Polterkitty cringed the moment she got her head out of the elevator doors. The odour of King Boo was heavy in the air, even heavier than Master's own scent, no doubt thanks to her abundant incense emanating from every one of those King Boo vases. It disgusted her.

'Alright,' Luigi said, speaking for the first time in a while. 'Where is she?'

Daisy gave his back a soft pat. 'Sweetie, let's not rush this. I doubt Ms Gravely is going to make this easy for us.'

Our heroes stepped deeper into the beautiful lobby, and came across a massive pair of shiny double doors that would obviously lead to the rest of the penthouse suite. Before they could even begin to approach them, however, a gigantic screen lowered from the ceiling and covered them up.

Luigi growled. 'What _now_?'

Polterkitty gulped; she knew precisely what this was, and it did not help her dread. It only made it so much worse. The screen turned on, revealing a certain ghost that made Luigi's blood boil. He didn't see a person but instead just an object of pure hate. Daisy had to hold him back.

'Hellen Gravely...' He muttered, his words loaded with disgust.

Hellen Gravely did not seem particularly happy. Oh no. She looked _pissed_. Her eyes and fingers twitched as she stared at her hands with fury.

'How could my staff be so incompetent?!' She screamed. 'There's no way Luigi could've gotten this far! Even Amadeus... that pathetic coward just surrendered to him! They all just surrendered. Every single one of them. USELESS COWARDS, THE LOT OF THEM!'

If her staff could hear her now, they'd be pounding the ectoplasm outta her. It was then she noticed Luigi glaring at her. He could pinpoint the exact moment she realised he could see her - she flinched, and lathered on that powdery make-up. She managed to regain her composure, but anyone could see that she was just barely containing her rage.

'I suppose I underestimated you and your friends. Just a tad. Congratulations on making it all the way up here!' She chuckled. 'But that does not mean you've won.' She cackled. 'Quite the opposite! This could be very, very good. For me, of course. You're about to become the ultimate gift!'

Daisy gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. _No one_ talked about her Luigi like that.

'Once I capture you and your friends and offer you to King Boo,' Hellen Gravely continued. 'He'll be absolutely delighted with me! In a way, this worked out splendidly. You may as well have wrapped yourself!' She spoke like that was her plan all along.

'Where is my brother?' Luigi asked with a tone uncharacteristically serious.

Hellen giggled. 'Maybe if you're lucky, you'll be displayed right next to him. I'll have to ask King Boo.'

'**Where** is my brother?'

She flinched. King Boo better not have seen that.

'Don't worry, my cowardly friend. Your brother is doing just fine!'

The camera showing the footage zoomed out, revealing her entire office. The many security cameras exposing every floor of the hotel did not perturb Luigi at all. He couldn't even focus on them. Up above them all, hanging from the top of the wall...

Was Mario. And he looked absolutely _terrified_. Luigi gasped - he couldn't think about his anger anymore. He reached out his arm, as if he could grab onto his brother from there.

'M-Mario...' He murmured in a tone so deep in despair, it alone broke Daisy's heart.

Polterpup growled and barked at the woman in the camera, wishing he too could morph into a horrific beast to mangle her up. Polterkitty, on the other hand, backed away. She hoped that Master would be too distracted with Luigi to notice her.

Hellen Gravely beckoned to Luigi with her hand. 'Luiiiiigi! If you want to save your pwecious big bwo, you'll need to come and fight me for him!'

That did it for Luigi. He broke free from Daisy's grasp and ran to the middle of the room. So much anger circulated through his veins that he'd explode if he didn't unleash it onto the monster in front of him.

'I'll **destroy** you for what you did to Mario!' He shouted, tears rolling down his face. 'I won't just capture you... I'll make sure there's not a drop of your ectoplasm left! If I can't destroy, then you can be sure as **hell** that I'm sending you to the _Underwhere_!'

Daisy gasped. She had never heard him use such language before, but it didn't surprise her too much.

'Try not to die from sheer terror before you make it!' Hellen taunted. 'I'll be waiting in anticipation!'

Daisy wanted to punch her face in, but not nearly as much as Luigi did. Polterkitty sighed in relief. She was certain she had managed to get out of this one. The relief vanished when she realised that Master hadn't turned the camera off yet.

'Oh, don't think I didn't notice you, Polterkitty darling.'

The Panthergeist cringed. If she could disappear like the other ghosts could, she would never come back.

'My little sweetie, step forward.'

Master gave that order in her awful 'I am secretly furious but pretending not to be' tone, one that Polterkitty had long since learned to hate. With a gulp, she stepped forward to the centre of the room alongside Green Man. Despite it being through a screen, she could feel Master's glare.

Hellen groaned. 'Ugh, look at yourself darling. You're hideous. Are you really going to return to me like _that_?'

Polterkitty gasped, and returned to her tiny and 'cute' housecat form. Luigi had forgotten just how tiny she was like that, and she didn't seem very happy with it.

'That's much better! Look at how cute you are now.' Hellen said in that obviously-feigned-happiness tone. 'I couldn't help but notice something. You appear to have been following Luigi this whole time! That's a little odd, isn't it? Didn't I tell you to bring him directly to me?' She laughed. 'Oh, of course! You're just luring him to me, aren't you sweetie?'

Polterkitty lowered her head in shame. Even if Master could understand her meows, she had no idea what she could possibly say.

'That _is_ correct, isn't it?' Hellen asked. 'You _were_ planning on betraying that man, right? I would certainly hope so! We wouldn't want to find out what happens to animals who double-cross me.' Her tone shifted to one far more serious. 'Would we?'

Polterkitty gulped, and shook her head.

'Good! I'll be waiting to see your results, darling! Just remember - if they're not the ones I want, you'll be the one who pays the price.'

The footage turned off, and the blank white screen scrolled back up into the ceiling. It left Luigi even more angry than when he arrived, and Polterkitty much more terrified of her own owner.

'_I don't like her very much._' Gooigi said. '_She seems mean._'

Luigi rushed for the double doors, but was stopped in his tracks by Daisy. He tugged against the grip she had on his arm, but she was not going to let up this time. Even when he gave her one of his patented death stares.

'Sweetie, we need to be careful.' She said, wrangling him in. 'If we're not careful, Hellen Gravely is gonna kill me and lock you away forever. We cannot let that happen. You've taught me that I need to be more careful. Why have you gotten your own lesson?'

'Anyone who takes my brother away from me does not deserve my mercy.'

'Right. Of course. It's all that witch's fault. Well, we're about to teach her a lesson. Aren't we guys?'

Polterpup yipped and howled in celebration, and Gooigi cheered them on from his glass home. Only Polterkitty did not join in - she was tempted to stall out this entire floor for as long as possible, but she knew that Daisy would not allow her to get away with it.

Luigi breathed in and out to calm his anger. 'Right. Rushing in will just get us killed. Gattina, do you know how we navigate this place?'

Polterkitty was tempted to derail their plan completely. Stall the adventure. Confuse the mortals. Lock them away this very moment. Anything to prevent her from having to meet up with Master again. She wished she could go back to the museum, before she felt so many conflicts over her own plan. She could sense Polterpup glaring at her, waiting for her to answer. She was about to provide it, but someone interrupted her.

'Oh hey, there you are! Dang, you guys got here quickly.'

The voice came from a female Goob approaching them, who waved at them as she phased through the double doors. Daisy got between her and Luigi, gritting her teeth.

'Watch out, ghosty!' She yelled. 'If you get too close to my precious Luigi, I'm gonna-!'

'Daisy, don't!'

Though Luigi pushed her back, the Goob figured that she had travelled close enough and stayed put. That orange princess frightened her, but her non-existent heart went out to the green kid for stopping her.

'Hey there!' She greeted. 'Now, I know all us Goobs look the same, but you might recognise me, Green Kid. See, my husband and I were the first ghosts you met once you got that fancy vacuum strapped on your back.'

Luigi gasped. Sure, the Goobs did indeed all look the same, but he could definitely recognise the voice. He hooked up the nozzle up to Poltergust, and stepped forward just a little.

'You... you came back?' He asked. 'Why?'

'I'm not here to capture you, buddy. What I _am_ here for is to give you a little heads up. Our stupid boss has forced my husband and I to lock up the door to her office.'

Daisy groaned. 'Really? If you really wanna help us, then why did you follow her orders?'

'It isn't important. The point is, if you wanna get past those locks, you need to get four keys. Hellen keeps one key in each of her rooms, as a little series of puzzles for mortals or something stupid like that. Look, the point is, you need those keys. Think you got that?'

Luigi didn't say it out loud, but he did have doubts in this Goob's words. After their first meeting went catastrophically, he didn't think she'd want to actually help them. Yet, he could hear the desperation in her voice.

'Sounds simple enough.' Daisy said. 'Find the keys, and open the lock. Obviously there's going to be about a thousand traps on the way there, but that doesn't sound as bad as that pyramid. Or that garden. Or that castle. Or that twisted place. Or... actually, this entire hotel is awful.'

'Tell me about it.' Sam remarked. 'I'd hate ta leave you so soon, but my boss will do some... terrible things if I don't return to my post in the next minute, so I can't quite help you out. I'm sure Polterkitty will help ya out though!'

Sam left to return to her post with those finishing words. As our heroes headed for the door, Daisy's suspicions of the Panthergeist skyrocketed. After that little conversation she had with her owner, the likelihood of this whole thing just being a long-con seemed higher than ever before. For Luigi's sake, she prayed that she was just being paranoid. The kitty didn't say anything about it, after all. No denying, nor any confirming.

* * *

'D-Do you have to look up such scary stuff?' Soff T asked.

The red-capped fungus stared up at E. Gadd's computer screen, trembling in his seat at all the horrific things that the professor was searching. E. Gadd paid him no attention, as he was far too deep into his research. To be fair to the little mushroom, the professor didn't exactly like how often he found pictures of 'after-the-attack' bodies. So much unnecessary gore that seemed more like forced shock value than any real horror.

'Then don't look at the screen, ya moron!' Gus T said, crossing his arms.

'I-I can't look away...'

Gus sighed. Granted, he'd rather deal with Soff than Parr T. The sunny mushroom was still perched at the container unit, marvelling at all the ghosts and laughing at a good chunk of them. He didn't even care when Ginny make him a backwards peace sign, mostly because he didn't understand its connotations but even if he did he wouldn't have minded anyway.

'Sorry lads,' E. Gadd said, not looking away from the screens. 'But this could be important! I'm trying to get a bit more information on Ms Gravely, but of course she's not exactly notable enough to have any info on her.'

Three hours into his research, he smiled. He finally found something! Albeit, a report from a survivor who was deemed insane, but still, all the way back from when the hotel was just starting to be built. The ghost he saw matched the description perfectly - beautiful, donning a purple dress and massive blue hair-do. The horror sunk in when he continued reading.

_'Don't trust her beauty. There's more behind that façade than any of you realise! Her beauty is a sham, just to lure you into her claws. She's a Siren, I tell you! A SIREN!'_

E. Gadd tapped his chin. A Siren, huh? He remembered hearing something about those from an old colleague of his, wherever the heck she was now. What did the Sirens do again? They were named after the mythical creatures, which would often use their beauty to lure in victims and then-

He gasped. 'Oh dear...'

* * *

The hallway behind the big double door was, for the most part, completely normal. It had a couple of 'blocks' where the rooms sat, but was not at all out of the ordinary. The hallway itself was normal. The decorations, on the other hand, were most certainly not. And they sent shivers down Luigi's spine. King Boo's face was on everything. Absolutely **everything**. Paintings on the wall? King Boo. Statues in the corners? King Boo. The lights hanging from the ceiling? King Boo. Even the golden patterning on the floor? Hundreds of tiny King Boos. The odour of the royal phantom was so thick in the air that even the mortals could smell it.

One painting of the king was dented inwards, creating the illusion that it was constantly staring at whomever was looking at at. Another also depicted Hellen Gravely, with both dressed up as Sand Kingdomian rulers, looking into each other's eyes. Pink dust lined the floor, but how could anyone pay attention to that? All the pictures of King Boo made Luigi shudder.

'Don't worry, sweetie.' Daisy said. 'As horrific as this is, they're just pictures.'

'That's not what's creeping me out so much. I know that Ms Gravely said that she was a big fan of King Boo, but this? This is not being a fan. This isn't even being a crazy fanatic. This is _obsession_. I can't believe I'm saying this... but I think she's more obsessed with him than he is with _me_.'

Daisy shuddered. 'Oh god, I think you're right. This... this is not normal. At all.' She looked to Polterkitty. 'Please Kitty, get us out of this King Boo hell as quickly as possible.'

The little ghost kitty certainly did not want to earn Mean Lady's wrath, so she led our heroes over to the room on the left. Luigi noticed just how tiny Polterkitty seemed now in her housecat form instead of her preferred panther form. Why didn't she simply return to being a big beast now that Hellen was gone? The door, rather obnoxiously, was on the left side of the room, which would be horribly inconvenient for anyone who couldn't just phase through the walls.

Polterpup sniffed at the door - he could smell remnants of what he figured was a Trapper. There seemed to be nothing left of it but trace amounts of ectoplasm. Luigi opened the door without delay or even an inkling of fear. He was going to save his brother no matter what.

Like the hallway, the room behind the door was surprisingly normal in comparison to everything else. It just looked like a regular old two-storey library, albeit one with about twenty little King Boo statues strewn about. And that gigantic painting of King Boo shining like the Dark Moon itself. The door brought them to the top floor of it, where they could easily see the second storey just by looking over the guard rails. The first key, one topped with an orange gem in the shape of King Boo's crown, stood on its own in a little compartment it had all to itself, one that was implanted in the back wall. Nothing blocked the way.

Daisy scoffed. 'Well, this is gonna be stupidly easy.'

She began to walk towards the seemingly unguarded key, but Luigi felt very uneasy about this whole room.

'MROW!'

Polterkitty, now too small to pull her away, pounced and grabbed onto Daisy's sock. It managed to get the princess to stop, and she glared at the little kitty.

'What? Do you not want me to rescue Mario or something?' She asked. 'Is this part of your little scheme to-?'

'MROO-OOOW!'

Luigi gasped. 'Polterkitty says there are lasers in front of you!'

'Lasers? LASERS?!'

Daisy jumped back with a yelp and hid behind Luigi. Polterpup stepped towards where he figured the lasers would be, and ended up bopping one of them with his nose. He thought that these would be regular old lasers that couldn't hurt a ghost.

'YIP!'

He thought wrong. The moment his nose touched that laser, it sent a purge of pain through his entire body. He yelped and jumped away.

'Are you kidding me?!' Daisy cried. 'So not only are there lasers that I can't see, but they can hurt ghosts too?!' She groaned loudly. 'Of course Ms Gravely wouldn't make this easy! How have I not learnt that by now?'

Luigi looked over the edge, and gasped. 'Daisy, I think I've found something.'

He pointed to a big lever on the bottom floor of the library that lay right underneath the key. It had a picture of a lightning bolt on it.

Daisy crossed her arms. 'I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that if we flip that switch, it'll turn off the lasers. It's a bit of a problem if we can't see said lasers though.'

She tapped her chin and looked around for anything that could help them. Her eyes fell upon the thick layer of pink dust that covered the floor. If she had learnt anything from those spy movies, it was that airborne dust could do... something about scattering light particles? She never paid attention to the actual science of it, but she knew that dust could make the lasers visible. She knelt on the floor, and swept the dust into the air using her arm in one quick swoop.

The strange pink dust scattered into the air, through the Polterpets, and towards the lasers. The deadly red beams were revealed, moving up and down from a point like a series of spotlights. Just these 'spotlights' could cut your limbs off. More lasers guarded the key like it was a jail cell.

Daisy grinned. 'Alright! Now all we gotta do is wait for the right time, and-'

'ACHMPHT!'

She was interrupted by a strange sound. Polterkitty had fallen into a sudden sneezing fit, one so unrelenting that she'd suffocate if she were still mortal. The revelation of the visible lasers didn't mean anything to Luigi at that moment.

'Gattina!'

He rushed over to her and lifted the sneezy kitty into his arms. It didn't help her at all, and for once Luigi did not care about the spittle flying into his face. Her sneezing was strong enough to make her feel dizzy, and it only seemed to be getting worse.

'Uh, _why_ is she sneezing so much?' Daisy asked.

'I-I don't know.' Luigi replied. 'I need to get her out of here. Can you guys grab that key while I take care of her?'

'Can-do, Sweetie!'

Luigi ran out the door with the kitty in his arms. While he tended to her outside, Daisy eyed the lever down on the second floor. She picked up more of the strange pink dust and tossed it down into the area below, and it revealed even more lasers moving up and down. Anyone who tried using the stairs in the corner to climb down and walk across the floor would get cut to ribbons. Shame that Daisy didn't care for the rules.

'This seems easy to abuse.'

She vaulted over the railing and landed right next to the lever, behind the deadly lasers. Chuckling at Hellen's lack of thorough planning, she poured all her strength into pulling the lever until it made it all the way down to the bottom. As she wiped her brow, the lasers turned themselves off and put themselves away into the floor. Polterpup yipped in joy as the lasers in front of the key disappeared too.

Daisy put her hands on her hips. 'Geez. You'd think that Hellen was _trying_ to make this easy.' Her smile dropped. 'Wait, that's actually a possibility... the big glass doors open wide...'

She walked down the path where lasers used to be, noting the titles of the books on the shelves. _Darkness is Their Cheese_, the _Necronomicon_, _An Autobiography by King Boo_... entirely just 'spooky' titles, some of which were trying too hard to be scary but others did a good job at unnerving her. As she passed yet another King Boo vase and made her way up the spiral staircase, she couldn't help noting how oddly shiny and clean everything was. The only concern was all that weird pink dust around the place. Once she reached the top floor again, she really wondered what the heck that dust was.

'Okay, seriously. What is this stuff?'

She scooped up a handful and peered at it closely. It was like some sort of powder make-up that emitted some faint purple aura. The tomboyish princess wrinkled her nose at the thought of so much make-up, and dusted her hands off. She ended up getting most of it into her face, and unleashed a hearty sneeze.

'Oh geez! Oh, that stuff is potent.'

Putting that aside, she grabbed the key laying by an excitedly-yapping Polterpup. The entire key was coated in sparkly gold, except for the orange gem at the top. It looked almost identical to King Boo's crown.

'Sweet Rosalina, she even models the keys after that round king? That woman needs help.'

Polterpup laughed at the Siren's expense.

* * *

Once Luigi got outside the room, he sat down on a nearby couch. As comfortable as it was, the pillows with King Boo's face on them made him feel uneasy. It took a minute after returning to relatively fresh air before Polterkitty's sneezing fit came to an end, and she felt absolutely exhausted afterwards. She cuddled deep into his arms and rubbed her face against his chest. Luigi couldn't tell if she was genuinely cuddling up to him or just wiping her nose on his clothes.

'You okay, girl?' He asked, stroking her head.

Polterkitty purred as she sunk deep into the warm fabric of his clothes. '**I am now.**'

'What was that stuff? What kind of dust is pink?'

'**That wasn't dust. It was Master's special Gheistpaint make-up. I'm really allergic to it, but she always makes me wear it.**'

Luigi's eyes widened. Once again, it was the nonchalant tone that disturbed him more than the words themselves.

'Wait, you're allergic to that stuff? That would explain the sneezing. But why does she force you to wear it then?'

'**You know that morphing thing I do? The powder forces me to look like this. Master only likes me when I look like this.**'

Luigi groaned in disgust. With every new thing Polterkitty said about her owner, he hated her more and more. When this mess was all over, he was going to free this poor kitty from her awful master. He ended up hugging her tighter, and continued to do so for as long as he could.

'That isn't right.' He said. 'If you wanna be a big panther, your owner should let you. And she certainly shouldn't powder you up with something you're allergic to. She's not right to be your owner.'

'**What do you mean?**'

'I mean, after this whole thing is over, you're coming home with me.'

Polterkitty's eyes widened. Did her ears deceive her? Did this green man really just suggest such a thing? He couldn't have. Master had told her time and time again that only Master could possibly love a three-tailed monster like her. He must've been lying.

'**W-What?**'

'I mean it, Gattina. You need a good home, and you just won't find it here with Ms Gravely. If one of the ghosts here wants to adopt you, that'd be fine too. But, as is, I've decided that you're going to be mine.'

The kitty lost her words. She had no response to such a determined statement. No... he was lying. She knew he was. Master had made it quite clear that no one else would ever love her. Master could never be wrong. Master could never lie.

Right?

Daisy opened the door and interrupted their little cuddle session, holding the orange key. 'I got the key! Is Kitty okay now?'

Luigi nodded. 'Yep! She's just really allergic to that Gheistpaint stuff.'

'Um, Gheistpaint stuff?'

'It's Ms Gravely's make-up, apparently. And, apparently, she wears so much of it that it trails everywhere.'

Polterpup jumped through the door, and sat next to Luigi on the couch. Both the plumber and the ghostly cat honoured his clear lack of any sort of jealousy.

'Sweet Grambi.' Daisy said. 'I think we're allergic to that stuff too. I think we've both sneezed with the force of a Thwomp cos of that stuff. I don't know what's in it, but it can't be good for us.' She chuckled. 'Do you two just wanna cuddle while Polterpup and I find the other three keys, or...'

Luigi jumped to his feet, much to Polterkitty's chagrin. 'N-No! We gotta do this together if we have any hope of succeeding. We cannot afford to split up now.'

'You are absolutely right, Sweetie.'

* * *

The next room, adjacent to the library, was the drawing room, behind a door that needed to be Dark-Lighted first. What was in this place? More bookshelves, a nice fire place, a few white couches... and **more** King Boo paintings, including one depicting him as a farmer by a windmill. The fan of the windmill itself seemed to pop out of the painting, thanks to a real mini-fan put in its place. A short series of stairs on both sides of the room led to a slightly raised platform, with handrails to guide one up them. Daisy picked up some of the Gheistpaint and scattered it into the air. No lasers could be found.

'Aight, so what do we do here?' She asked.

Polterkitty was about to answer, when those elusive pink Spirit Balls appeared from the floor and flew around the room.

Daisy groaned at the sight of them. 'Ugh, these things again? What are they going to possess _now_?'

They floated about until they decided on their target - the windmill fan. Once possessed, its blades twitched in one direction, before the middle of the fan sprouted a glowing red eye that was bigger than the middle point itself. Then, it began to turn itself. It started off slowly, but it quickly built up speed.

'And that does what, exactly?' Luigi asked, dreading the answer.

The handrails at the sides of the stairs raised, revealing bars holding them up. The entire space between the far left and far right rails, including the couch in the middle, began to rotate to the right like the top half of a Ferris wheel.

'Uh?!' Daisy exclaimed. 'What the heck is this?!'

It didn't take long for the spinning to speed up, and it did so considerably. It rotated to another 'set', one with a very concerning statue of King Boo and Hellen Gravely doing... things to each other, before it quickly disappeared. In moments, it spun around so fast that our heroes could barely see what was going on. If it turned any faster, it would launch from whatever point it was attached to and go absolutely nuts. It would not have been a problem at all... had Daisy not seen a glowing green gem for a few moments, one that returned with every four rotations.

'Oh my god, the key is in the middle of that!' She yelled. 'We gotta get it to stop!'

She ran over to the sentient fan, which was now spinning fast enough to look like a solid circle. Regardless, she reached her arm out towards it. Only Luigi pulling her back kept her away from the spinning blades of death.

'Daisy, what are you doing?!' Luigi demanded. 'You could cut your own hand off doing that!'

'I just want this damn thing to stop! We need that key, and this bloody fan is stopping us from grabbing it.' She groaned. 'That's a sentence I just had to say...'

'I'm sure we can come up with a way to stop it that doesn't involve getting limbs chopped off. I can just Dark-Light it.'

'Oh... of course.'

Luigi enveloped the possessed fan with his Dark-Light device, and held the light in place for a few seconds. Usually, by that point the object would be covered in some strange rainbow veil, but the veil never popped up. He couldn't even hear the sounds of the device doing its work.

'Oh no...' He muttered. 'It must be spinning too fast for the Dark-Light to work!'

'ARE YOU FU-?!' She took in a deep breath. 'Anyone got any ideas before something breaks off and slices our necks?'

Gooigi, without any warning, deployed himself. He decided that he was sick of spending all his time in his little glass home, and wanted to do something a bit more productive. Unfortunately, it ended up spooking both Luigi and Daisy.

'WAHH!'

'Oh sweet Luvbi... warn us next time, Gooigi!'

'_Sorry._' He said. '_But I have good plan. Big bro know how I make things sticky? I can do it again._'

'Um, against a swirling fan of terror?' Daisy questioned. 'Are you sure that's a good idea?'

'_Does big bro and princess have any better ideas?_'

He intended for this to be an innocent question, but the word choice combined with his mostly monotone voice ended up making it sound very snarky. And Daisy did not approve of it. Taking their lack of a response as a 'do it', he reached his arm out towards the middle of the fan. The blades were now spinning so fast that the entire thing was wiggling around on its axis.

'Uh, li'l bro,' Luigi said. 'I don't think that's such a good i-'

He was cut off by a sound akin to flesh getting blended, except a whole lot more wet.

'AH!'

The fan turned Gooigi's arm into mush in a matter of a seconds. The gooey man didn't even flinch.

'GOOIGI!' Luigi cried.

Gooigi, far too calmly, held up his other arm for his 'big bro' to stop, even though the fan was making its way up to his shoulders. After all, his goop did the trick. The fan began to slow down, and quite quickly too. It went from 100 to 10 in just a few seconds, and got itself stuck a few more seconds later. It emitted a sound comparable to a Chain-Chomp growling, despite its lack of a mouth. Polterpup and Polterkitty watched the spinning floor come to a stop too, half-way through the creepy King Boo statue and the big cage with the key inside it.

Gooigi stepped away, now totally missing his arm, looking very proud of himself for someone who could hardly emote. '_Trust me. I learned from best!_'

'Why would you do that?!' Luigi cried.

'Not to interrupt or anything,' Daisy said. 'But shouldn't we Dark-Light that fan thing before it frees itself?'

'Oh. Right.'

Luigi used his trusty Dark-Light Device once again, and this time that rainbow aura covered the fan like it was supposed to do. The fan itself hissed and growled, but he paid it no mind. The pink Spirit Balls emerged from it, and Luigi made quick work of them.

'Crisis averted!' Daisy declared. 'Now we just have to... D'OH!'

Only then did the mortals realise that the room was not at the most ideal rotation. Daisy knelt down and tried to reach into the tiny slither of the cage that was above ground, but her arm couldn't quite reach the key.

'Well, that solved our possessed fan problem.' She remarked. 'But now how to we get the damn key itself?'

'_Easy._' Gooigi said. '_Just spin the fan._'

'We would love to, but you kinda blocked it.'

'_Just wait._'

Drop by drop, the goop surrounding the fan's anchor dripped onto the floor. The moment they touched the smooth surface, they jumped back onto Gooigi's stump of an arm. They formed together like a jigsaw puzzle turned into an army, forming perfect shapes with each other as they put Gooigi's arm back together piece by piece. Once the fan was free of his goop and he had his arm back, the gooey man used his Poltergoo to spin the un-possessed fan blades a little, just enough to bring that cage with the key up above ground.

'OH GOD!'

He could've waited for Daisy to back away from the floor though. After the platform spooked her and settled into place, she reached through the (non-laser) bars on the cage and yanked the green-tipped key out.

'Sweet!' She said. 'We're already halfway done! Just two more, and we can teach that witch a lesson. Good job, Gooigi!'

Even though he knew that Gooigi had no mouth, Luigi could've sworn he saw a smile on his face. Daisy tossed Gooigi the green-tipped key, and he stored it in his body. The green glow of the gem could be seen through his translucent skin.

'_I want to stay out now._' Gooigi said. '_I'm much more helpful out of cage than in it. Then princess can hear me too. I can do so much more. Is big bro okay with that?_'

'Am I okay with it? Bro, we need all the help we can get.'

**Author Notes - It's REEEALLY weird to think that this project is actually coming to a close. But let's ignore that because I am also excited to end it too! Sorry that this chapter was a little short by my standards, but remember that this was two chapters split into three at the most appropriate times. The next two chapters are more the usual length.**

* * *

_Luigi knew that Mario feared King Boo the same way he did. Everyone knew that Mario was terrified of the royal phantom. After getting forcefully thrown into a portrait and being trapped in helplessness, anyone would've been scared. __It was only obvious just how terrified Mario was, however, when Princess Peach unveiled a new statue in honour of Luigi's heroism after he restored the Dark Moon. It depicted him sucking up King Boo into the Poltergust, constructed entirely out of shiny marble to truly reflect King Boo's white round body._

_Mario took one look at that statue, and flew into a panic. He screamed and shouted, hid behind his younger twin brother, and even threw a rock at the statue. Luigi had to calmly explain to him that it was just a harmless statue, and Mario felt so ashamed and embarrassed. No one was laughing at him though, not even Wario who had joined the celebration with the intent to ruin it._

_It was the one and only time that the heroic red-clad plumber made his brother seem fearless by comparison, and Luigi couldn't have been any more concerned._


End file.
